I've got a little bit of a heartening story for you guys, if you care to read:
I work in the cafeteria of a large company on the hot food line. The factory / plant houses a couple thousand employees, several hundred of which are working at any given time, and I interact with a vast majority of these people each and every day. I have a coworker named Craig who works in the kitchen as a dishwasher, and he is mentally handicapped - he has a learning disability that slows his comprehension quite a bit. He is a very nice kid and we get along pretty well.
Anyway, he came up to me during my break today almost in tears. During his break, which he takes about an hour before mine, he typically sits with a group of guys who work out in the plant. He told me that those guys were calling me names, like "fat" and "fat ass". He said he tried to tell them that they should keep their opinions to themselves but that they wouldn't stop.
I said to Craig, "I appreciate you letting me know what happened, but it does not bother me at all that those guys said these hurtful words. I've been fat my whole life, and I had to deal with people calling me fat throughout my childhood so I learned to simply not care. When people like that say those hurtful things, they aren't hurting me at all - instead, they are making themselves look stupid. They say those things in order to try to lift themselves up on a pedestal, to feel better about their own lives and to shadow their own shortcomings. So, don't worry about it - thank you for telling me, but I am fine."
- - -
There were three things about this encounter that stuck out to me:
1) I was a little disappointed with the guys who work in the plant. I'm typically a very cheerful and kind person, and to hear them boil me down to a physical detriment saddens me. I didn't lie about not caring what they said - it doesn't bother me personally. Rather, it makes me feel bad for them that they'd have to stoop like that to feel better about themselves. I figured most folks would outgrow such childish name-calling, especially in a professional environment such as the workplace, but I guess not.
2) I was incredibly humbled by Craig's kindness and selflessness. He did not have to stick up for me like he did, but he did - he truly is a kind person and I am grateful to have him as a coworker.
3) Please let this story be a bit of a lesson to all of you. Even though you might think that your hurtful words won't get back to the person you say them about, they can - and when they do, there's a very good chance that person will not be nearly as strong-willed of a person as I am and it might effect them terribly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjVQ36NhbMk
I know this song might be bordering on cliche, but it really resonates with me. I mentioned long ago in this topic that I had a coworker that committed suicide. She had an awful lot going bad in her life so I truly believe in my heart that there was very little that any of us (myself, my coworkers, her friends, etc.) could have done to prevent it, but I still wonder every once in a while - if someone had said something differently, if just one person treated her just a little better than they did, would she still be with us? Think about it the next time you needlessly tear another person down with your words - would their life be payment enough for your needless comments?
It is so much easier to interact with one another in a positive way than a negative way - negativity builds barriers between people and true human connection is all but lost. Be kind to your fellow man; show them love and compassion, and you will feel more fulfilled in your own life than ever before.
I believe it's possible for each and every one of us to save a life every day.