Katawa Shoujo Forums

I really have enjoyed just sitting here reading these tales...OK that was worded a little wrong. Don't know how to say it properly, because I dont want to accidentally seem macabre or something by making out I took pleasure in peoples bad endings. I suppose it's because there's a whole lot of people here who tell all, and help others, and just that feeling of trust and companionship. I'd like to try and help others but at the moment I doubt I'd be that much help. I've had a somewhat sheltered life for lack of a better word...Not broken a bone or had any nasty happenings, no run ins with the coppers or stuff like that. No success with girls either really...! Anyway that last bit did change in my second year of uni, here's pretty much how the whole story panned out.

Summer last year...My love life has been a little sparse and that, a couple years before I was with my now-ex when someone else jealous split us up. Nice. Anyway we were still talking and that, and I tell myself I never go out with the same girl twice. But given the circumstances that none of us really made that decision, I thought we should give it another chance. So we did. And, well, there really isn't much else to say than that! It had been a couple years since we were last going out, so people grow up and change what they do and what they like. To be honest I hadn't changed much at all, apart from more of a love for anything anime as I'd signed up to the anime society at uni. She on the other hand had got herself an xbox and was on it 24/7. She wouldn't meet up or even find the time to talk because she was on that all the time. Then I went back to uni and it got harder for us to talk, I was always trying but the xbox always won when she was deciding. Try on your birthday having "sorry I'm on xbox with the boys" given to you when you want a skype. Wonderful. She almost forgot about the day itself!

TIMESKIP!!! That was back in November last year. Go back to September now, same year. Was back at uni, a time to get back into all the things I liked to do there. I enjoyed the anime society more than much else at the time. I was on the council for it too. Beginning of a new year, so I got COUNCIL GET and helped out at the Freshers fair helping to sequester new recruits into watching 2 and a half hours of anime on a Tuesday evening before swanning down the pub for some beers and that. A successful day, I was happy, I could be myself a bit more and felt a bit more free, as opposed to the sort of shelter I had back at home. Anyway, first meeting we go to, there she is...! Theres a girl there, Let's call her M just for namesake. Now I wanted people to get involved in the society and M did just that. There was a whole little group of us who sat and drank together and generally had a good laugh. She had a boyfriend, though things weren't going well, and she had a crush on someone else in the society. So for now we all hung out after society and that but not much more, and in light of the scenario I wasn't really bothered. It was the society how I'd built it up to be.

So things were going on like that, I started to like M a lot more and more over the days, and in the end both things for her went out the window. She broke up and didn't take too much of a fancy to this other guy. Maybe I was in for a chance...But at the moment bear in mind this is before November so I was still with my current girl! And I could not bring myself to any affair stuff at all. Totally against what I like. The society continued as usual much the same. Anyway early November I decided, after numerous tries to get things better with my gf to end it, as it was going nowhere. I didn't want to be ignored for the entire time over Xbox. I was a lot happier with things with M and wanted to be in a relationship where we meant something to one another. By this time for her, she was now a high standing member in the society so we usually found ourselves both at the meetings and arranging how everything worked. It wasn't relationship by any means but we got on and did things right. Aside from that her ex was causing her grief and not letting things lie. So I thought I'd give it a try. I stay bottled for ages normally just because I dont have high confidence. That's another story.

I'd set a date to tell her everything, and had it all figured out. Then, she went home for a week, that week I would have told her! arrrgh! No big deal, everyone goes home to see their family when they're in uni. Hope she has fun and I'll put things back a week. On the Tuesday that she was home, I got talking to another member in the society about what they would like to watch and that. We got onto the subject of "Yeah, M's at home this week so wonder who will take charge" Then this guy destroyed me. "Yeah, gone home to get back with her ex, hasn't she."
Ouch
Not what I wanted to hear.
I coulda dropped there and then!
Seriously. After all what went on between them those last couple of months, and still wanting to get back? I don't understand, probably never will. Bottom line, that was it. I couldn't tell her. It was gone. She'd be happy end of.
End.

No! It hurt to see her now. I tried making it not be that bad, but it didn't work. Whatever I told myself it would still hurt to see her. Anyway in December I got sick. I was in a right state, proper nasty touch of flu. That Wednesday I got ill it pretty much all came out to her over conversation. Got to have respect for her for not being weirded out or anything, but it all came out. What I was going to do, my feelings, everything. Was I happy I got it off my chest and it didn't make bad feelings towards us! Well apart from being sick all week, things just took their course though of course I barely saw anyone. Wouldn't want em going through a tortuous week of headaches and no sleep anyway lol

So now it's December again, almost time to go home for Christmas, and I'm better! Somethings still wrong though. It still hurts. That's never happened before truth be told, I have liked other girls and even if it doesn't work, that's that and life goes on. I've started playing a lot of pinball as well this year by the way. They have a table in the union and I like to spend a few quid shooting some scores and making sure I'm still the best. A couple of us play it after the society so it's a good escape for me to see the members and just escape from the whole personal business with M. Couple of them knew but never told or anything. Fair enough. I still thought that was that though, it would never get better. But I was wrong! And here's how that happened.

When I went home for Christmas, I started mixing. Some DJ software was released for free home use, so I got it. I love my hardcore tunes so I wanted to be the best I could with it. A day or so later I was sat in my room. I had my mixing software, and about 10 tracks. I'd best get started! I was awful! I did however do the basics and did it sound good the way you could just mix things like that! I was hooked. For so much more of the time I was sitting there working out how to do new methods and picking what tracks I might like to mix. I got talking to some DJs who rated my mixes, did a couple of guest appearances on the uni radio show, and have some more credentials to another site or two if I wanted to get on board and do a random bit of mixing. M was now a much smaller part in my mind.

The second reason I got over it all, was because she started to wind me up. Not deliberately or anything. I'm the treasurer of the society, so it's my job to handle the money, right? Wrong. Her and someone else basically ran the joint and did the lot. I got annoyed really, as I was a treasurer who didn't do anything. I tried telling her about this but I never held my breath, good reason too as nothing changed. If something went wrong it was my head on the line, but I had no knowledge of any happenings. Too frustrated to carry on with it, I quit the council and most of my time I'd be talking to M nowadays. Present day, and things are just as they were at the beginning of the year. I still watch my anime, albeit on a different day now, as a few of us have stopped going on Tuesday due to how things are turning out. Also I hang about and drink with the DJ society a lot more. So that means money needs rearranging. Oh, and I love doing my pub quizzes. I've got plenty to do, but thinking about M really isn't one of them anymore.

Greatings from Lithuania
I would like to share my story. I always thought that everybody are perfect but i defrent.I have 17 years(Boy) Everything started from my birth,well docter diagnoset that i have pectus carinatum(chest deformity).Living with that is wery hard,but i can do everething runing,play all kinds of sports games but its hard psychologically way(similar to Hanako).Going to the school where all are normal and i having that is hard.Often people looking at me that i some kind alen,asking me about my chest,laughing at me.After schools ower i always going back to home and stayng there.I have dancing for 9 years but quite. To ease my pain i playng wideo games and watch youtube.I have some frends.I could live in that way but reasently i notised that my frends are having girlfrends.So can some on advised me what to do in this case?Are im having a chanse to have girlfrend?
Thx for reply.(ps. Sorry for my bad english)

coldhole94 wrote:Greatings from Lithuania
I would like to share my story. I always thought that everybody are perfect but i defrent.I have 17 years(Boy) Everything started from my birth,well docter diagnoset that i have pectus carinatum(chest deformity).Living with that is wery hard,but i can do everething runing,play all kinds of sports games but its hard psychologically way(similar to Hanako).Going to the school where all are normal and i having that is hard.Often people looking at me that i some kind alen,asking me about my chest,laughing at me.After schools ower i always going back to home and stayng there.I have dancing for 9 years but quite. To ease my pain i playng wideo games and watch youtube.I have some frends.I could live in that way but reasently i notised that my frends are having girlfrends.So can some on advised me what to do in this case?Are im having a chanse to have girlfrend?
Thx for reply.(ps. Sorry for my bad english)

When i was your age i had a classmate with Pectus Carinatum, he had a pretty normal life, had friends, played soccer and had a girlfriend, since he never tried to hide his chest nobody really cared, of course there were some jokes about him and some light bullying (as aspected of a normal high school), he usually made jokes of his own and life went on.

Methinks its not a big problem, live on dude. Nobody (except female pornstars) is defined by the shape of their chests.

Tomate wrote:

coldhole94 wrote:Greatings from Lithuania
I would like to share my story. I always thought that everybody are perfect but i defrent.I have 17 years(Boy) Everything started from my birth,well docter diagnoset that i have pectus carinatum(chest deformity).Living with that is wery hard,but i can do everething runing,play all kinds of sports games but its hard psychologically way(similar to Hanako).Going to the school where all are normal and i having that is hard.Often people looking at me that i some kind alen,asking me about my chest,laughing at me.After schools ower i always going back to home and stayng there.I have dancing for 9 years but quite. To ease my pain i playng wideo games and watch youtube.I have some frends.I could live in that way but reasently i notised that my frends are having girlfrends.So can some on advised me what to do in this case?Are im having a chanse to have girlfrend?
Thx for reply.(ps. Sorry for my bad english)

When i was your age i had a classmate with Pectus Carinatum, he had a pretty normal life, had friends, played soccer and had a girlfriend, since he never tried to hide his chest nobody really cared, of course there were some jokes about him and some light bullying (as aspected of a normal high school), he usually made jokes of his own and life went on.

Methinks its not a big problem, live on dude. Nobody (except female pornstars) is defined by the shape of their chests.

Thx for reply i will try to live on but i have isue to speak with girls.
(ps nice Avatar )

Mahogany, thanks for your story. You sound like you're OK now, so that's a good thing, I think.

Coldhole94, Nobody chooses the body with which they are born. It's plain unfair to judge a person for something that is beyond their control. If people are bullying you remember this: they're just trying to hurt you, so you should ignore them and their lies. If you want to meet a girl, first you should be OK with yourself. Forget those hurtful lies the bullies told you. Listen to those who are kind to you. Like that you will start to see the good qualities of yourself. Then you can relax and also show those good qualitis of yours to a kind lady who will love you.

i actually fell in love with h i mean really and since its the first time ive experienced such emotions (i remind you that im quite young) i am getting pretty damn sad that i cant be with "my love"

wick3dwick wrote:

wick3dwick wrote:i actually fell in love with hanako i mean really and since its the first time ive experienced such emotions (i remind you that im quite young) i am getting pretty damn sad that i cant be with "my love"

One more soul collected by Hanako.

Once the game ended and all the stories were over, i felt empty. I fell in love with the game and gained different feelings for each of the characters. It made me think of my life, really think. I realized how lonely and bullied I really was. I became depressed and some of you probably read my post. But, a day ago I decided to talk to people more. It seemed that they bullied me to get my attention, cause when I talked to them you won't believe how friendly they were. Remember bullying may not be a way of letting out anger, it may be a way of getting your attention to get you to be a friend. Although, I found quite a few of them just bully me cause I'm short, vulnerable, almost blind without my glasses, and that I don't seem perfect. The fact is that no one is perfect.

Cheers Beoran Yeah I am pretty much back to my old self now(though whether people want to think that's good or not, that's another question lol) and just pretty much wanted to tell all what's been happening. Whether I'll have any more luck with the ladies...well...time will tell but at the moment I just aint fussed! I mean after M got back together I did like someone else too...and I did ask them out, though it wasn't to be, I wasn't bothered and that was that. Still hurt over M though! That's all behind me. Incidentally, she's run into bigger problems and has ended things, I reckon this time for good. But I've got no plans for trying again with her.

Mahogany, good to see another story turn out well!

Wick3dwick, right on. Live like it isn't even there. The best way to get other people to like you, is you like yourself. Be more confident, you're different, so you're not mundane! You're unique! Not broken, not deformed.

Beoran wrote:Mahogany, thanks for your story. You sound like you're OK now, so that's a good thing, I think.

Coldhole94, Nobody chooses the body with which they are born. It's plain unfair to judge a person for something that is beyond their control. If people are bullying you remember this: they're just trying to hurt you, so you should ignore them and their lies. If you want to meet a girl, first you should be OK with yourself. Forget those hurtful lies the bullies told you. Listen to those who are kind to you. Like that you will start to see the good qualities of yourself. Then you can relax and also show those good qualitis of yours to a kind lady who will love you.

Thx i realy find trust in my self, readind all kinds of storys here i fell that am not alone and that theres are good people in this world who trying to help others

At first I didn't really want to make a post about what happen to me because I didn't think it will helpful or change anything. However after reading a few posts of other users and I change my mind because maybe what happen to me might help other users on this site.

I was born with a genetic disease that made my left leg's bone weak and grow outwards and because of this disease it will make my life span shorter because it will eventually grow into cancer. ( The doctors call it a "ticking time bomb", but they are able to guess around the age of 40) Well, because of this I spend most of my childhood in the hospital,where the doctors try to save my leg,however after many operations,physical therapy and 3 ilizarov operations and without any success (at one point they thought they saved my leg but after climbing the ropes at my preschool,falling and breaking it and having the teacher making me walk on it because she thought I was lying) they give my Father two choices, ( around the same time my parents were getting a divorce) have the doctors remove my leg *blow the knee* or be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. I didn't have a choice in the matter but I rather be walking than be stuck in a chair, So after couple weeks in the hospital, I finally get to go home, however that when I started getting phantom pains in my leg and I was stuck in a wheelchair until my stump heals so I can get my prosthetic leg and relearn how to walk.
So going back to school in a wheelchair and being tease wasn't enough on me, My Mother didn't want to see me or my brother and decided to take off without tell us where she was until my Father hired a PI to find her. *He did, we spend some time with her but after a short time she took off again without telling us and when we did found her again but she was remarried and having a baby...Years later she told to me she wanted to be alone and wanted nothing to do with us until she got her life together, I really think that BS on her part but I getting off topic* So, learning how to walk again took some time but after awhile I did it, I still move around with a bit of a limp but I don't have any pain but they didn't stop the kids at school from making fun of me for it. Than I turned 9.
So that went on from grade school to high school, teachers didn't really do anything or cared about what was happening to me, maybe they did.. I don't really remember, I just know that my high school life sucks. *Oh, I'm saying I didn't have friends, I did, It's just most of the students in my school, didn't like me for some reason.* One of things that really pisses me off at the time, is that students and the teacher treated me like egg-shells, thinking that I could break my left leg at any time and they didn't give me alot of chances to prove myself. So, for the most part I kept to myself and after high school was over, I want to college for a couple years, but had to drop out because I had a mental breakdown. I don't know what cause it but I end up going to therapy, which did help but I never went back to college.
So what's happen now, Well I still get phantom pains, I still get depressed but most of the time I can deal with it. My only regrets is that I should have dealt with with my issues at a younger age, but I decided to hold everything in I didn't want to brother anyone with it. One thing that does scare me a bit is that I'm not going to live long and I will end up in a bed in some hospital with cancer. I try to forget about that and deal with it it when the times comes.

For some damned reason, this game has forced me to question things i used to like.
Although the things i built stability over (I am a Christian and I love Music, please do not try to change my mind on this)
I start questioning the more simple things, or what reason do I go to school other than band? I answered this, I also do clubs and theater.
Why do i still talk with my friends is the worst, you see, my friends always have the most meaningless conversations, and this combined with my ADHD/ADD, Does not help, I dont care about the current times, I have never had a relationship with the opposite sex, Instead, I have focused on getting better at music. I wonder why i play video games, why i like sci-fi, why i like this that blah blah blah.
I am growing old of the computer, its always the same, there is nothing new, and if i think it is new, It isnt. It is like gears of war, you think there is plot, but wait for it, THERE ISNT.
The thing is, is that I would like to have more people that are more on the lines of how I am, My thought processes are super complicated, while most people seem to think that you need to write an Algebraic Problem on paper, I can look at it, think for a bit, and solve it. Because I reverse engineer the problem or something like that.
I used to walk in a wierd way, but Marching band now has me rolling my fleet and standing up straight like a Soldier.
The worst part is that food is getting boring, I used to love food, but I am very picky.
Yeah, that is my story.

I think this would be my first time ever saying this all.

I have been bullied throughout much of my school life. Because of how I look, because of how I dress. Things I could've changed, but I was me. During elementary and middle school, I was all but alone. I had at most, 2 friends, neither really that close to me, during all those years.

I was raised by my grandmother and my great grandmother. My mum worked too much so me and my brother never really saw her often. During my seventh grade year, my great grandmother died... 6 months later, in February, a month before my 13th birthday, my grandmother passed on, too. I was left alone. The people who raised me, whom I loved more than anything. The people who were my like my parents had died. Before I became a teenager, before I had my first girlfriend, before they saw me grow up, I was alone.

The first 3/4s of high school were as bad with bullying. To high schoolers, appearance is everything. Those who dress differently or aren't the same are outcast. I was alone again. But in my final year, I met two people who made me truly happy. I will love the time I spent with them.

But now, my friends from high school have moved on. I have few friends left, but they don't seem to actually care to be close. I see them once every few months, but I am alone.

But I am trying to live life. I want to make a change, so I can be happy.

Genesis, I understand how you feel. My parents divorced when I was very young, so my father figure was my grandfather. Even today, 20 years old and sitting in a tent in Afghanistan, I can barely think about him without tearing up a bit. He died before I graduated AIT (Advanced Individual Training) for my job, it always makes me sad to think that I wasn't able to come home to him a REAL soldier, or even come home at all before he died after I left home.

It's great that you made the decision to move on with your life, and do something with it. The only thing that can really motivate you is YOU. Something YOU want. Good on you for making that decision, and good luck in your endeavors. I don't know you, you don't know me, but you have my support.