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I blanket myself on the sofa.., tightly.

How I wish I could be close to Hanzou..., and have him embrace me as I cry.....

But I try not to think about lost memories. ...I have my friends and family, ..and they will never hurt me.


With a smile for them all..... I fall asleep and wish for peaceful dreams...

I dream about the little boy I used to know... chasing him through the snow...

Who are you... from so long ago? “.....where did you go?”

“Hanzou... I'm cold.....”

The heavenly morning greets me brightly as I wake, with.. Hanzou's blanket upon me? ...Did he..?

I see he's already up, and eagerly playing Hitomi's gaming-console...

“Good morning...” I whisper to him, sitting myself upright. Warmly embracing myself with my own blanket and Hanzou's...

“I-I-Iwanako....” He softly whispers, finally realising I'm up. He smiles his half-hidden smile, and wishes me “good morning.”

“Did... did you give me your blanket? ..Hanzou?”

“I... I heard you shivering.”


“...thank you..”

We look upon each other warmly..... not saying anything in loving understanding...

Before the game calls out to Hanzou again, and he gazes back to it the same time I do.

The beautiful moment between us lingering in our hearts, I start to wash up for the morning, while he plays the video games that he never could have when he was young.

Seeing my reflection smiling innocently, I try to imagine Hanzou smiling, ..a full bright smile, exactly how he would if.. the fire didn't hide away a half of who he is.

He can only smile.. one half of a smile, ...he can ..only cry in one eye, ..he is only... one half...

No!.. No..., he's not. Half-hidden in hurt or not, Hanzou is Hanzou, he doesn't need my pity, he loves me fully with all his heart. And I love him, wholly for who he is, never in spite of what he is.

...I love him..

I love Hanzou.....

Making my way to the kitchen, still somewhat half-asleep to have worked myself up for no reason, I idly wonder what I should have for breakfa- ...Mmmm~ I catch a delicious aroma in the air; someone is already cooking, but... who could it be? So early in the morning..

“Shizuo? Are you making something.. nice...”

Both of them don't hear me, as Mrs. Hakamichi keeps furiously lecturing her son, warning him to never cook again...

[You will never cook again! Do you understand me? You cannot hear when something will explode or when a fire starts, think about what happened to one of your friends, do you want to become like him? Do you?! Is that what you want? Do you want to burn the kitchen? What if you burned the house? Do you care if- LOOK AT ME when I'm talking to you!!] Mrs. Hakamichi is- is cruelly signing to Shizuo!

“Good Morning! Sachiko Hakamichi!” I loudly open my mouth, using her first name directly to shut her up.

Both of them stare back at me, furiously.

“Mrs. Hakamichi... m-maybe Shizuo is just.. maybe your son, is well-aware that he's deaf, and he knows enough to be careful.”

“Do you understand sign language? Iwanako Hanajima?” Sachiko asks me.. an out-of-place question.

[Yes. I've studied the basics.] I politely sign back.

[Then may I ask you to take responsibility for this child? Since you understand him so much better than I do.]

Th- that... that is.. unfair, Sachiko, you can't.. talk like that in front of Shizuo...

[If you do not know enough to speak, please remain silent.]

“Sharr! Up!” Shizuo yells...

Shizuo's voice is.. angry..., loud and uncontrolled, ..broken.

Sachiko doesn't reply a single word to Shizuo, she just.... leaves, ..quietly.

As soon as she's gone, Shizuo runs over to me, and I open my arms to embrace him before he-- hits me?

“Ow! Stop! Stop hitting me! OW!”

I force myself to stop him, holding both his hands back, as he struggles against the anguish in his heart.

“Shizuo... Shizuo!”

He forces himself to look at me, to try and let me quell the pain, as I speak my words carefully and clearly for him to understand...

“Shizuo... I'm sorry... I wanted to help you. I didn't mean to hurt you.”

“..yiewanargko?”

“...huh?”


“...Yiwanako...”

“...yes?”


“....., help me..”

I let his arms go... freeing him to talk.

Slowly composing himself, he starts by apologising, saying that he forgot.., he forgot he could have stopped my heart.

I sign back hurriedly, not concentrating on what I say.

[I don't... I don't- ...you were angry. You didn't act on purpose.]

[...what is it that 'you don't'?]

[.....I don't hate you.]

[...why didn't you sign it?]

[It's too.. harsh.]

[why?]

[...]

[You hate me. You hate me. You hate me.]

[No! No, Shizuo, I don't! Please, ..I don't hate you, ...I don't.]

[…, I hurt you. I could have killed you.]

[You didn't, Shizuo.... but even if you did hurt me, I still won't hate you.]

[…..why?]

[Because I don't want you to blame yourself.]

[...why?]

[Because I... I don't want you to hurt inside.]

[why?]

[Because I know what it's like, to hurt yourself over a mistake you never wanted to make... To be forced into a life you can't control, to sacrifice the best in you and come out hollow... To feel hurt, to feel regret. To cry.., to hate.. to...]

A tear from my cheek falls to my wrist, ...I suddenly forget how to sign.

[...to break?] Shizuo asks, the sadness in his eyes reflecting mine.

I nod...

[Insert Song: Innocence by NicolArmarfi]

We pull each other close and hold each other tight, not letting go until the tears run dry.

My life flashes by beyond my reach, moments and memories forgotten yet forever cherished.

Shizuo cries soundless in sadnesses softly heard, his heart still chasing after the innocent wish to be loved.

Warmly, we start to let go.., as Shizuo pulls my hand forwards.

He shows me what he was trying to do, and true to his wish he pushes onwards...

He chooses to forget that unkind moment just a while ago, quietly throwing away stained memories and harsh words.

I help him reach for the tray in the cabinet above, dusting and blowing on it as I do.

He sets the plate of finished omelette carefully with love, and sprinkles oregano for a flavour so true.

Taking it up to his lonely mother crying beside the alcove, he trembles as he tells her “I Love You.”

Shizuo tries not to cry and bravely presents his tray; a plate of delicious omelette, a glass of refreshing orange juice, and a long-overworked, hand-made card, cut out of a beige manilla folder and lovingly decorated with the most beautiful words Sachiko ever heard.


Taking the tray, and carefully putting it aside, Sachiko embraces her son in unspoken emotions... crying honestly with him, with her true feelings..... granting Shizuo his innocent wish.


...It may have taken Shizuo since May, but with his card and breakfast on a tray, Shizuo has finally wished Sachiko; 'Happy Mother's Day'.

Early afternoon, while alone on the balcony deck...

I point the star-gazing telescope straight at the happenings of the beach event... and spy on Rai, Lionel and Acair arguing over something, pointing alternatingly between the ocean, and somewhere on the beach...

Hanzou and Yuki simply can't be bothered to join them, as the dainty duo shelters with refinement under an umbrella-table on the sands, cheerfully sipping their fresh tropical drinks. While the topless trio (Rai had cast off his jersey, unafraid to show his faint scars) continue debating like eager hens.

After a while of clucking and pecking at each other, the three topless muscular musketeers finally.. decide on something, after a single round of 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'. -- Rai and Acair have seemingly outvoted Lionel, and are now smugly strumming air guitars and nodding their heads.

Hmm... I swing the telescope over to point at the streets, having heard Kaori leave with Hitomi just minutes ago... Aha! Finally spotting them, I cheerfully call and wave at them.. but, they don't notice me.

They walk closely together, cheerfully holding hands, with Kaori quietly nursing her hangover since this morning. It seems... they're thinking of heading to that haunted house attraction, in that amusement park Hitomi mentioned, with both of them making scary gestures at each other as they walk. -- Awww~ Kaori is the best sister anyone can wish for....

After a while... and tiring my eye a little from observing the world through narrow lenses, I suddenly start to wonder...

Is this what it's like? For Shizuo?

To see laughter and joy, but not hear it?