Re: Hanako and Hisao –Road to Tokyo Updated 8/14
Posted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 11:49 am
Part II:
Misha nodded and muttered something in Russian. A moment later Grigori barked at the kitchen, which barked back. The exchange made sense when a large mug of coffee appeared in front of Misha, handed to her by one of the weary kitchen staffers. I saw him glance at my scarred hand and raise an eyebrow before retreating. I wasn’t sure how to take that, but was too buzzed and distracted to care.
Misha grabbed the coffee and sniffed it; it looked like someone had already added milk or cream, and probably sugar as well. She slowly sipped the coffee. She was definitely taking her time, and I found myself getting distracted as Grigori told a no doubt highly embellished story of a peasant dueling a Commissar with a pitchfork.
“Now that I’m a certified interpreter,” Misha said, bringing me back to the matter at hand, “Shicchan was wondering if I’d work for the charity conglomerate she’s trying to get started. She’s willing to offer me a great job once I graduate and she’s gotten things off the ground~. Big fat salary~, benefits, vacation~, dental~, the warm fuzzy feeling~ of doing something for the desti…desti… the needy~.”
“Sounds like a good offer,” I mused.
Misha nodded as she stared bleakly into the depths of the mug, “Yeah~… I said I’d take it on one condition. She refused~.”
I raised an eyebrow, “What was the condition?”
Misha grinned and glanced at me, “you’re stuttering less. That’s good.”
“Please don’t change the subject,” I requested, “I’m trying to help, even if all I can do is listen.”
Misha sighed and nodded, “Sorry~… The condition was… that we live together.”
I blinked. I blinked again. I blinked a third time.
Nope, still didn’t make any sense.
“Sorry, but I don’t follow.”
Misha scoffed, “Neither does Shicchan~… she can be a bitch sometimes, even if she doesn’t mean it~,” Misha turned to face me again, looking moderately more sober since the arrival of the coffee, “You heard the rumors about me back at Yamaku~, right?”
My mind slowly went to work, eventually stirring up a memory of Naomi babbling about some bit of gossip or another, and how it had set off her “Epileptic Charged Gaydar” (patent pending).
“About you being…” I trailed off, grimacing lightly in fear of offending her.
“Gay,” Misha stated, pausing to sip her coffee.
Things were starting to slowly click into place, but there were still big chunks missing, so I would probably have to prod some more to get the answers, unfortunately. At least Misha was cooperating.
“Well~…” Misha sighed, more willing to continue than I thought, “They’re true.”
I blinked and sipped my drink; something wasn’t clicking. I was also a lot less shocked then I thought I would be, but then again I was more confused than anything.
“I’m sorry, I still don’t follow,” I said.
Misha sighed and nodded, “I know~… I haven’t told anyone what I’m about to tell you, and I probably wouldn’t if I weren’t drunk…”
“Are you sure you want to, then?” I asked.
Misha glanced at me and raised an eyebrow, “I think we passed the voluntary portion of this when you cut me off~.”
“S-sorry,” I muttered, “I just don’t want you to say anything you don’t want to.”
“I know, I know~,” Misha sighed.
She spent a few moments silently sipping her coffee and playing with a donut. After slowly eating the donut, she sighed again and resumed speaking.
“Back in high school, I fell in love with Shi…Shizune. She was determined, strong, always dragging people into her world… manipulating them…,” Misha sighed and shook her head, “…and of course, she’s beautiful~. I fell in love with her, and I told her…”
Things were starting to click into place. Misha slumped forward over her coffee and stared bleakly at the wall, so I cautiously placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
“She rejected you, didn’t she?” I asked, reaching the obvious conclusion.
Misha nodded, “But she valued~ my friendship –and my skills as an interpreter, I’m sure~- and asked me to stay in the Student Council as her friend~.”
“So you stayed,” I stated, rather unnecessarily.
“Like the idiot I was~…” Misha muttered.
“You weren’t an idiot,” I stated, “Shizune shouldn’t have asked you to stay.”
“And I shouldn’t have agreed,” Misha countered, “That’s been our relationship for the last three years; I follow her along like some retarded~ puppy, because she pats me on the head and calls me a good girl~ when I don’t fuck things up~.”
“Stop that,” I snapped, well aware of how poisonous self depreciative talk could be.
Misha turned her slumped head to stare sideways at me, “It’s true, though~…. I thought if I stayed by her side, she’d eventually change her mind~…”
I nodded in sympathy. Honestly, that was pretty dumb, but saying so wouldn’t do any good. Besides, I nearly did something similar with Hisao, so I didn’t have room to talk.
“So… what are you going to do?” I asked.
Misha shrugged, “Not sure~. I could call Shizune a manipulative bitch some more~, but I don’t think that will help~.”
“Probably not,” I agreed, “but it does sound like you need to talk to her.”
Misha shrugged again, sipped her coffee, and sighed, “Sometimes I wonder~ if she used my love to keep me by her side. I know she trusts me, and values my friendship, but she also values me as an interpreter~.”
I raised an eyebrow and sipped my drink, “That doesn’t sound like something she would do. I mean, sure, she manipulates and plots, but she’s not cruel about it. Even if she has a goal or a plan, the results are usually a good thing.”
Misha snorted, “So she uses people for good reasons~? What is it Christian’s say about the road to hell~?”
“It’s paved with good intentions,” I replied with a sigh, “but that’s not the point here. You need to confront Shizune about this, and you need to decide if you’ll stay be her side, or not.”
Misha nodded, “I know~. That’s what the fight was about, except it was just me yelling at her and throwing my webcam at my wall. That was a month ago~, and we haven’t talked since.”
Misha sighed and grabbed another sesame ball. Fiddling with it in her hands for a few moments, she blinked and glanced at me, “I’ve been thinking of staying in America~. I could get a good teaching job at a private school with the right credentials and connections, and UCLA would give me both~.”
I nodded, “That’s an option. You’d still have to talk to her, though; leaving things like that isn’t fair to her, or to you.”
Misha nodded and grumbled something unintelligible, but sounded like some English curse words.
I smiled reassuringly and rubbed her shoulder gently, and she gave a muted mewl that I wasn’t sure how to interpret, “Whatever happens,” I said, “Just know you’re not alone. Not anymore.”
Misha eyed me and smiled, “Thanks, Hanacchan~.”
Misha went to work on her coffee and some nearby food, seeming a little less gloomy and a little more sure of what had to be done. With that line of communication complete, I turned my attention on Grigori. On the way I noticed a smiling Lilly. Her calm demeanor seemed a bit too innocent as she sipped her beer.
I raised an eyebrow and whispered in her ear, “Y-you were eavesdropping.”
Lilly nodded, having the decency to grimace as she replied, “I felt obligated as an interested party. I am sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I said. Leaning back, I added, “What do you think about them?”
Lilly shrugged, swaying slightly as her own alcohol consumption caught up with her, “More or less what you said. I do wish Shizune wasn’t so hard-headed and manipulative, or that Misha was so sensitive and self conscious…. While I’m at it, I may as well wish for Scottish freedom and a boyfriend that didn’t live an ocean away.”
I frowned, “You’ve been listening to your aunt’s rants again.”
Lilly nodded, then frowned lightly, “In any case, it really is up to them. All we can do is poke and prod, and I’m not even sure we should do that.”
Shizune wasn’t the only manipulative one, but she did it for ends and goals, and probably every now and then for the sheer fun of it. Lilly did it out of maternal concern. Still didn’t justify it, but it was a noteworthy difference.
I sipped my drink in thought. She was right; as much as we wanted to get involved, it would be best to stay out of it and just listen to their problems. Sometimes that’s all anyone needed –someone to listen.
As the night wore on, my concern over Misha never quite left. Her situation was somewhat similar to mine and Hisao’s back in high school, with a few changes and quirks, of course. We had almost been stuck in a deadlock of mere friendship, Hisao unwilling to move forward and me too comfortable with the status quo to change that. There was the rather obvious difference that Hisao definitely reciprocated my feelings, whereas Shizune was much more difficult to read. Still, we were able to move on, and so, eventually, were Misha and Shizune. At the end of the night, though, I remember wondering how much worse my life would have been if we hadn’t made those steps forward. It also made me wonder about our future, and if we could keep moving forward with our lives, and our relationship.
+++
Next Chapter
Early twentieth century Russian history has an inordinate amount of cannabilism. It is not for the faint hearted. The Civil War is a hoot though, because it reads less like a proper civil war and more like a gang war.
Anywho, there are a few origin myths regarding Misha and her name, and I’ve already made one, so I thought I’d have some fun and toss out another. For the curious, Misha basically means “baby girl” in Russian. It also has other meanings and connotations, and is apparently of Hebrew origin, depending on who you ask.
“Shiina” based on my limited internet searches, might mean “good” or “virtue”, but it’s pretty vague, and even Mirage has had trouble finding a meaning, so take that one with a grain of salt. “The Mikado”, for the interested, is a Gilbert and Sullivan play that is naturally hilarious and rather catchy (I enjoy showtunes. I regret nothing.)
Fan fictions are a good place for posing “what if” scenarios (in the field of history we call these “counterfactuals” or “what happens when you have a laize-faire approach to graduate seminars”). One of the ones I’ve played with in this fic, and the main HK series, is what would happen with Shizune and Misha if their relationship went on relatively unchanged? My interpretation, like most of my efforts and thinking beyond an elementary school level, is likely rather lackluster, but it’s what I came up with.
Next time, The Last Chapter! The group prepares for the ride home, and in the process decisions are made and conclusions reached (insert “no shit, Sherlock” quip here.)
Misha nodded and muttered something in Russian. A moment later Grigori barked at the kitchen, which barked back. The exchange made sense when a large mug of coffee appeared in front of Misha, handed to her by one of the weary kitchen staffers. I saw him glance at my scarred hand and raise an eyebrow before retreating. I wasn’t sure how to take that, but was too buzzed and distracted to care.
Misha grabbed the coffee and sniffed it; it looked like someone had already added milk or cream, and probably sugar as well. She slowly sipped the coffee. She was definitely taking her time, and I found myself getting distracted as Grigori told a no doubt highly embellished story of a peasant dueling a Commissar with a pitchfork.
“Now that I’m a certified interpreter,” Misha said, bringing me back to the matter at hand, “Shicchan was wondering if I’d work for the charity conglomerate she’s trying to get started. She’s willing to offer me a great job once I graduate and she’s gotten things off the ground~. Big fat salary~, benefits, vacation~, dental~, the warm fuzzy feeling~ of doing something for the desti…desti… the needy~.”
“Sounds like a good offer,” I mused.
Misha nodded as she stared bleakly into the depths of the mug, “Yeah~… I said I’d take it on one condition. She refused~.”
I raised an eyebrow, “What was the condition?”
Misha grinned and glanced at me, “you’re stuttering less. That’s good.”
“Please don’t change the subject,” I requested, “I’m trying to help, even if all I can do is listen.”
Misha sighed and nodded, “Sorry~… The condition was… that we live together.”
I blinked. I blinked again. I blinked a third time.
Nope, still didn’t make any sense.
“Sorry, but I don’t follow.”
Misha scoffed, “Neither does Shicchan~… she can be a bitch sometimes, even if she doesn’t mean it~,” Misha turned to face me again, looking moderately more sober since the arrival of the coffee, “You heard the rumors about me back at Yamaku~, right?”
My mind slowly went to work, eventually stirring up a memory of Naomi babbling about some bit of gossip or another, and how it had set off her “Epileptic Charged Gaydar” (patent pending).
“About you being…” I trailed off, grimacing lightly in fear of offending her.
“Gay,” Misha stated, pausing to sip her coffee.
Things were starting to slowly click into place, but there were still big chunks missing, so I would probably have to prod some more to get the answers, unfortunately. At least Misha was cooperating.
“Well~…” Misha sighed, more willing to continue than I thought, “They’re true.”
I blinked and sipped my drink; something wasn’t clicking. I was also a lot less shocked then I thought I would be, but then again I was more confused than anything.
“I’m sorry, I still don’t follow,” I said.
Misha sighed and nodded, “I know~… I haven’t told anyone what I’m about to tell you, and I probably wouldn’t if I weren’t drunk…”
“Are you sure you want to, then?” I asked.
Misha glanced at me and raised an eyebrow, “I think we passed the voluntary portion of this when you cut me off~.”
“S-sorry,” I muttered, “I just don’t want you to say anything you don’t want to.”
“I know, I know~,” Misha sighed.
She spent a few moments silently sipping her coffee and playing with a donut. After slowly eating the donut, she sighed again and resumed speaking.
“Back in high school, I fell in love with Shi…Shizune. She was determined, strong, always dragging people into her world… manipulating them…,” Misha sighed and shook her head, “…and of course, she’s beautiful~. I fell in love with her, and I told her…”
Things were starting to click into place. Misha slumped forward over her coffee and stared bleakly at the wall, so I cautiously placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
“She rejected you, didn’t she?” I asked, reaching the obvious conclusion.
Misha nodded, “But she valued~ my friendship –and my skills as an interpreter, I’m sure~- and asked me to stay in the Student Council as her friend~.”
“So you stayed,” I stated, rather unnecessarily.
“Like the idiot I was~…” Misha muttered.
“You weren’t an idiot,” I stated, “Shizune shouldn’t have asked you to stay.”
“And I shouldn’t have agreed,” Misha countered, “That’s been our relationship for the last three years; I follow her along like some retarded~ puppy, because she pats me on the head and calls me a good girl~ when I don’t fuck things up~.”
“Stop that,” I snapped, well aware of how poisonous self depreciative talk could be.
Misha turned her slumped head to stare sideways at me, “It’s true, though~…. I thought if I stayed by her side, she’d eventually change her mind~…”
I nodded in sympathy. Honestly, that was pretty dumb, but saying so wouldn’t do any good. Besides, I nearly did something similar with Hisao, so I didn’t have room to talk.
“So… what are you going to do?” I asked.
Misha shrugged, “Not sure~. I could call Shizune a manipulative bitch some more~, but I don’t think that will help~.”
“Probably not,” I agreed, “but it does sound like you need to talk to her.”
Misha shrugged again, sipped her coffee, and sighed, “Sometimes I wonder~ if she used my love to keep me by her side. I know she trusts me, and values my friendship, but she also values me as an interpreter~.”
I raised an eyebrow and sipped my drink, “That doesn’t sound like something she would do. I mean, sure, she manipulates and plots, but she’s not cruel about it. Even if she has a goal or a plan, the results are usually a good thing.”
Misha snorted, “So she uses people for good reasons~? What is it Christian’s say about the road to hell~?”
“It’s paved with good intentions,” I replied with a sigh, “but that’s not the point here. You need to confront Shizune about this, and you need to decide if you’ll stay be her side, or not.”
Misha nodded, “I know~. That’s what the fight was about, except it was just me yelling at her and throwing my webcam at my wall. That was a month ago~, and we haven’t talked since.”
Misha sighed and grabbed another sesame ball. Fiddling with it in her hands for a few moments, she blinked and glanced at me, “I’ve been thinking of staying in America~. I could get a good teaching job at a private school with the right credentials and connections, and UCLA would give me both~.”
I nodded, “That’s an option. You’d still have to talk to her, though; leaving things like that isn’t fair to her, or to you.”
Misha nodded and grumbled something unintelligible, but sounded like some English curse words.
I smiled reassuringly and rubbed her shoulder gently, and she gave a muted mewl that I wasn’t sure how to interpret, “Whatever happens,” I said, “Just know you’re not alone. Not anymore.”
Misha eyed me and smiled, “Thanks, Hanacchan~.”
Misha went to work on her coffee and some nearby food, seeming a little less gloomy and a little more sure of what had to be done. With that line of communication complete, I turned my attention on Grigori. On the way I noticed a smiling Lilly. Her calm demeanor seemed a bit too innocent as she sipped her beer.
I raised an eyebrow and whispered in her ear, “Y-you were eavesdropping.”
Lilly nodded, having the decency to grimace as she replied, “I felt obligated as an interested party. I am sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I said. Leaning back, I added, “What do you think about them?”
Lilly shrugged, swaying slightly as her own alcohol consumption caught up with her, “More or less what you said. I do wish Shizune wasn’t so hard-headed and manipulative, or that Misha was so sensitive and self conscious…. While I’m at it, I may as well wish for Scottish freedom and a boyfriend that didn’t live an ocean away.”
I frowned, “You’ve been listening to your aunt’s rants again.”
Lilly nodded, then frowned lightly, “In any case, it really is up to them. All we can do is poke and prod, and I’m not even sure we should do that.”
Shizune wasn’t the only manipulative one, but she did it for ends and goals, and probably every now and then for the sheer fun of it. Lilly did it out of maternal concern. Still didn’t justify it, but it was a noteworthy difference.
I sipped my drink in thought. She was right; as much as we wanted to get involved, it would be best to stay out of it and just listen to their problems. Sometimes that’s all anyone needed –someone to listen.
As the night wore on, my concern over Misha never quite left. Her situation was somewhat similar to mine and Hisao’s back in high school, with a few changes and quirks, of course. We had almost been stuck in a deadlock of mere friendship, Hisao unwilling to move forward and me too comfortable with the status quo to change that. There was the rather obvious difference that Hisao definitely reciprocated my feelings, whereas Shizune was much more difficult to read. Still, we were able to move on, and so, eventually, were Misha and Shizune. At the end of the night, though, I remember wondering how much worse my life would have been if we hadn’t made those steps forward. It also made me wonder about our future, and if we could keep moving forward with our lives, and our relationship.
+++
Next Chapter
Early twentieth century Russian history has an inordinate amount of cannabilism. It is not for the faint hearted. The Civil War is a hoot though, because it reads less like a proper civil war and more like a gang war.
Anywho, there are a few origin myths regarding Misha and her name, and I’ve already made one, so I thought I’d have some fun and toss out another. For the curious, Misha basically means “baby girl” in Russian. It also has other meanings and connotations, and is apparently of Hebrew origin, depending on who you ask.
“Shiina” based on my limited internet searches, might mean “good” or “virtue”, but it’s pretty vague, and even Mirage has had trouble finding a meaning, so take that one with a grain of salt. “The Mikado”, for the interested, is a Gilbert and Sullivan play that is naturally hilarious and rather catchy (I enjoy showtunes. I regret nothing.)
Fan fictions are a good place for posing “what if” scenarios (in the field of history we call these “counterfactuals” or “what happens when you have a laize-faire approach to graduate seminars”). One of the ones I’ve played with in this fic, and the main HK series, is what would happen with Shizune and Misha if their relationship went on relatively unchanged? My interpretation, like most of my efforts and thinking beyond an elementary school level, is likely rather lackluster, but it’s what I came up with.
Next time, The Last Chapter! The group prepares for the ride home, and in the process decisions are made and conclusions reached (insert “no shit, Sherlock” quip here.)
.