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Yep. And as much as her shyness is a big part of her charm, I know she hates it. I can only imagine what she'd be like if those little punks at school hadn't destroyed her self confidence.

pandaphil wrote:Yep. And as much as her shyness is a big part of her charm, I know she hates it. I can only imagine what she'd be like if those little punks at school hadn't destroyed her self confidence.

True but then she wouldn't be the Hanako we know and love. Then again, I like the idea of a more confident Hanako, as long as she still has that occasional stutter.

Although her actual H-scene is well lit, it's also a odd case.

I drew the conclusion during this fic that assumptions based on Hanako's sole in-game H-scene might not necessarily apply during further sexual contact. Hanako's sole aim during that first time was keeping Hisao close to her. Avoiding awkwardness or pain simply wasn't a priority for her at the time. It'd be a lot more important for her to ease up during intimacy in the actual relationship, since enjoyment would be the whole point of the act. Hence, the focus on keeping the lights dimmed or off altogether.

Although I wonder if it might have been a little easier if Hanako had taken her tights off. That just doesn't look comfortable to me. Of course there is the emotional awkwardness, but that's been discussed elsewhere.

It would have been somewhat easier, but it wouldn't have made a world of difference. Intercourse, especially at first, tends to be painful if the girl isn't at ease (even if the hymen wasn't intact anymore) due to the tensing of the vaginal muscules. There's no way Hanako would have been comfortable enough to enjoy it, no matter how much foreplay. (her body was already aroused at that time, but her mind most certainly wasn't.

Now about the sex scenes in this fic. The thing I find interesting is that they are from Hanako's POV. I wonder what was going through Hisao's head? Well I like to think that when Hanako offered to give him a hand it was "YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES!" But more likely he would have had some concern he might be pushing into it, and deciding that he has to trust that if she says she wants to do something, she is, and will tell him if she's not.

There were many scenes that had me wondering whose perspective was most suitable, but as a rule I felt that if I was undecided, Hanako got the benefit of the doubt. That's because Hisao has less difficulty voicing his thoughts than Hanako, so I can simply make him say what's on his mind without it appearing out of character and pared with Hanako's thoughts the reader can still get an impression of what both are thinking. Of course, the inverse is also true...there's no Hanako-perspective during the hospital scenes later in the story because it was convenient for me to keep Hanako's exact thoughts hidden from the reader for a while.

What I imagined going through Hisao's head at least some of the time was along the lines of "How can I keep things completely consentual?". Well, their first time was consentual, but only for messed-up reasons. I figured Hisao felt pretty bad about that first time, having failed to see through Hanako's reasons for initiating it and because of that he'd be kind of wary of moving things too quickly, yet at the same time he'd want to show Hanako he acknowledges her as an equal sexual partner he was attracted to and not as a fragile girl made of glass. What Hisao thought when Hanako made her offer was mostly pleasant surprise.

Finally I kinda see Hanako as being the sort to cuddle afterwards. Not counsously, but rather after she falls asleep she'd press her unscarred side up against her lover. Nothing really to base it on, she just looks like the sort to me.

That's probably primarily due to Hanako giving off truckloads of Moe-vibe. Moeblobs are pretty much defined by their tendency to make people want to hug them. That said, one of the reasons I made her a bit of a snugglebunny was due to the fact that the hormone Oxytocin (also known as the cuddling hormone or love hormone, which is released into the brain during cuddling) acts as a natural suppressor to anxiety and PTSD-related symptoms and puts someone in more of a trusting mood. (trust isn't always Hanako's strong suit) In other words, she gains more advantage from cuddling than the average person...it diminishes the pangs of distrust she feels from time to time, relieves her anxiety and leaves her less prone to nightmares. I played with the thought of Takawa mentioning this tidbit to Hisao, but couldn't really find a good opportunity for her to mention it, so I left it out. Use it as a base reason if you please though.

It must do wonders for her self-esteem to be able to take charge of pleasing Hisao and controlling when and how they go.

Hanako taking the initiative was mostly due to Hisao somewhat pushing her into that role and not because she was comfortable with it...to him it was the best way to ensure that whatever happened would be something she consented to. Still, pleasing him was something she enjoyed. Hisao, however, was wary that her focussing on him too much might become a habit, so he was rather quick to suggest Hanako join him in the receiving role.

True but then she wouldn't be the Hanako we know and love. Then again, I like the idea of a more confident Hanako, as long as she still has that occasional stutter.

I don't think Hanako will ever be extremely assertive. Her way of being confident will probably just focus on being at ease with herself and the people directly around her.

Guest Poster wrote: I don't think Hanako will ever be extremely assertive. Her way of being confident will probably just focus on being at ease with herself and the people directly around her.

My thoughts exactly. I can't picture her being overly social like Misha or Lilly, but i absolutely LOVED the scene where she learned to dance with Lilly. I loved the idea of her being uncomfortable, yet willing to step outside of her comfort zone for a friend. It makes me think someday she will be willing to do that for herself too.

SpecimenSix wrote:

Guest Poster wrote: I don't think Hanako will ever be extremely assertive. Her way of being confident will probably just focus on being at ease with herself and the people directly around her.

My thoughts exactly. I can't picture her being overly social like Misha or Lilly, but i absolutely LOVED the scene where she learned to dance with Lilly. I loved the idea of her being uncomfortable, yet willing to step outside of her comfort zone for a friend. It makes me think someday she will be willing to do that for herself too.

Indeed. I think she'll always be a quiet person. But if she can learn to feel comfortable and truly be herself around her friends and the people she loves, that'll be a great victory in itself. I think she needs a family just as much as she needs self confidence.

pandaphil wrote:

SpecimenSix wrote:

Guest Poster wrote: I don't think Hanako will ever be extremely assertive. Her way of being confident will probably just focus on being at ease with herself and the people directly around her.

My thoughts exactly. I can't picture her being overly social like Misha or Lilly, but i absolutely LOVED the scene where she learned to dance with Lilly. I loved the idea of her being uncomfortable, yet willing to step outside of her comfort zone for a friend. It makes me think someday she will be willing to do that for herself too.

Indeed. I think she'll always be a quiet person. But if she can learn to feel comfortable and truly be herself around her friends and the people she loves, that'll be a great victory in itself. I think she needs a family just as much as she needs self confidence.

There must be balance in all things. That, and I'm playing too much WoW: Mists of Pandaria.

On that train of thought, Hanako picking up a martial art....

SpecimenSix wrote:

pandaphil wrote:Yep. And as much as her shyness is a big part of her charm, I know she hates it. I can only imagine what she'd be like if those little punks at school hadn't destroyed her self confidence.

True but then she wouldn't be the Hanako we know and love. Then again, I like the idea of a more confident Hanako, as long as she still has that occasional stutter.

The first thing that popped into my head with "more confident Hanako" was her dressed as the leader of girls delenquint gang. That said, lets think about what Hanako would have been like if she hadn't been bullied so badly in the aftermath of the accident. I think she'd still be shy, and wouldn't have many friends. But she wouldn't be as terrified of human contact, and afraid of being rejected. I think she'd still have more friends than just Lily in this case. More able to work in groups and not cutting class as much.

I find her becoming friends with Naomi at the end of Lily's route interesting. Hanako is someone who really isn't able to deal with being the center of attention. Due to her epilepsy, Naomi must have ended up being a unwanted spectacle at varous points in the past. Natsume sort of ends up the odd one out here.

I have to wonder how Hisao and Hanako's sex life would develop as they get more experienced and comfortable with each other. I think Hisao would gradually become more comfortable as he realizes he's not forcing Hanako into doing anything she doesn't want to, and Hanako accepting that he does find her physically attractive and satisfying. I think a big step would be Hanako eventually being more willing to let Hisao see her body.

Also is it just me or did Lily set the two up in Hokkido? That sneaky girl. I don't know if she realized just how far they'd gone before, but I think she was giving them a helping hand of her own.

If Hanako were less shy, I think she would have made friends with Naomi and Natsumi a whole lot sooner than she did. She seemed to fit into the newspaper club quite naturally.

Get past her fear and shes just as funloving as any other girl. Just witness her at the pool table.

Negativedarke wrote:
Also is it just me or did Lily set the two up in Hokkido? That sneaky girl. I don't know if she realized just how far they'd gone before, but I think she was giving them a helping hand of her own.

Of course she did. She may seem old-fashioned, but that girl is very enlightened when it comes to sex. Otherwise she would have put Hisao out on the couch like she did in her story. I'm surprised she didn't take Hanako out shopping for sexy underwear.

pandaphil wrote: Of course she did. She may seem old-fashioned, but that girl is very enlightened when it comes to sex. Otherwise she would have put Hisao out on the couch like she did in her story. I'm surprised she didn't take Hanako out shopping for sexy underwear.

Yea I've always noticed that sweet side of Lilly. Even if she isn't directly involved she seems to like to play the matchmaker and make other people happy. Like when she talked to Hisao about how everything was going during the Emi route, it was cute.

That said, lets think about what Hanako would have been like if she hadn't been bullied so badly in the aftermath of the accident. I think she'd still be shy, and wouldn't have many friends. But she wouldn't be as terrified of human contact, and afraid of being rejected. I think she'd still have more friends than just Lily in this case. More able to work in groups and not cutting class as much.

Pretty much this. Hanako's never been extremely social, but she'd have a small circle of friends she chooses to spend time with.

I find her becoming friends with Naomi at the end of Lily's route interesting. Hanako is someone who really isn't able to deal with being the center of attention. Due to her epilepsy, Naomi must have ended up being a unwanted spectacle at varous points in the past. Natsume sort of ends up the odd one out here.

I never had any plans with Natsume, but since Naomi is mentioned by name several times in Lilly's route I took some time to decide for myself what kind of person I wanted her to be. There's not a lot of information about her in KS...Hisao calls her "upbeat", Lilly calls her "troublesome" and Hanako calls her "sometimes tiring but helpful". I made her a bit of a genki girl in the story. The idea was for her to be the Emi to Hanako's Rin...someone who tends to just chatter away without needing a lot of replies and who fills uncomfortable silences without having make an active effort. Hanako sometimes finds Naomi's pace hard to deal with (especially since she's used to Lilly's slower pace), and at times simply puts up with her the way Hisao puts up with Kenji (but less extreme), but eventually comes to recognize that Naomi means well. Hanako doesn't have the same sisterly bond with Naomi that she has with Lilly...both of them already have someone else as their best friend...her friendship with Naomi is initially simply based on mutual interest in journalism and writing.

I made Naomi into a person who's very socially confident and fairly socially active. She has little problems walking up to people she doesn't know and starting a conversation with them. This is actually her way of dealing with her condition. Naomi really hates the idea of being known as "that girl who has fits in class", so whenever entering a new environment she seeks to define herself as quickly as possible to as many people as possible before her condition has the chance to do it for her. Her outgoing personality can act as Hanako's "attention lightning rod" when the two would be away from school though her personality also attracts attention in the first place. Most of this didn't make its way into the story because it wasn't relevant to the plot.

I have to wonder how Hisao and Hanako's sex life would develop as they get more experienced and comfortable with each other. I think Hisao would gradually become more comfortable as he realizes he's not forcing Hanako into doing anything she doesn't want to, and Hanako accepting that he does find her physically attractive and satisfying. I think a big step would be Hanako eventually being more willing to let Hisao see her body.

Pretty much this. As mentioned before, Hanako's not someone who's a stickler for quickies. It takes her some time to get in the mood and she's very self-concious about her appearance. Hanako would probably enjoy anything that involves a lot of (particularly) frontal body contact since a not insignificant part of her back is numb. She would dislike anything that would put strain on the both of them (like doing it standing up) because part of her would be focussed on worrying about Hisao overexhausting himself. (and Hanako herself is not exactly in peak physical condition either)

Also is it just me or did Lily set the two up in Hokkido? That sneaky girl. I don't know if she realized just how far they'd gone before, but I think she was giving them a helping hand of her own.

The idea was indeed to suggest as much. Hisao and Hanako bring it up during their talk in the wheat field that second evening. On the one hand, Lilly does enjoy her role as matchmaker. She's essentially who set Hisao and Hanako up in the first place during Hanako's in-game route. (Hanako herself mentions Hisao never would have gotten to know her if it hadn't been for Lilly's actions) On the other hand, Lilly knows there's a chance she'll have to leave the country soon so she goes out of her way to bring Hisao and Hanako as close to each other as she can. This is very much the reason she's more blatant about it than usual.

I'm surprised she didn't take Hanako out shopping for sexy underwear.

She might have if she didn't know in advance it would freak Hanako out. (Hanako stills needs the lights to be off in order to relax so sexy underwear's wasted on her...at least for now)

Guest Poster wrote:
Pretty much this. As mentioned before, Hanako's not someone who's a stickler for quickies. It takes her some time to get in the mood and she's very self-concious about her appearance. Hanako would probably enjoy anything that involves a lot of (particularly) frontal body contact since a not insignificant part of her back is numb. She would dislike anything that would put strain on the both of them (like doing it standing up) because part of her would be focussed on worrying about Hisao overexhausting himself. (and Hanako herself is not exactly in peak physical condition either)

Yeah, Hanako's shoulderblades and buttocks have some of her heaviest scarring. Well good thing Hisao's not the sort to want to pinch her in the butt. I guess it also would affect how he gives her massages. I think a posistion the two are going to be using a lot is Hanako laying on top of him.

I'm surprised she didn't take Hanako out shopping for sexy underwear.

Guest Poster wrote:She might have if she didn't know in advance it would freak Hanako out. (Hanako stills needs the lights to be off in order to relax so sexy underwear's wasted on her...at least for now)

And Lily wouldn't really be that good at picking out sexy underwear. A lot of that is visual. Have to ask the clerk for help, and put Hanako right in a panic attack. Hell I'm amazed that Hanako was able to ask for Lily's help with the pills, excuse or no excuse. Thankfully Lily isn't one to pry. She probably just had a glass against the wall.

You guys are right about the sexy underwear thing. Just wishful thinking on my part I guess.

I do hope that at some point Hanako will feel comfortable enough in their relationship that she'd want to look pretty/sexy for Hisao. The thought of her shyly asking Lilly for help would be adorable.

How about Akira turning up at Lilly's dorm one evening while the women are having tea with an assortment of cute lacy bra's, teddies and panties that just happened to be Hanako's size? Sounds like the sort of thing she'd do.

So I've been on a bit of a fanfiction streak after finishing both Scissorlips' Suzu pseudo-(pseudo-)route and Rikabro's "Can you follow your heart?" Rika pseudo-route. At the recommendation of Wookie's signature (which, coincidentally, also contains the two fics that I mentioned just now; fancy that ), I gave this one a look since Hanako is my canon character waifu, and I have to say I am not disappointed. As others have said before me, it truly does feel as though the original essence of the VN's route flows through your epilogue. I especially like how you separated the parts into the different characters' viewpoints at strategic moments. For example, with the h-scenes; Hisao is intent on Hanako's pleasure and enjoyment, so the fact that they occur from her perspective drives that point further. I lost the ideas/epiphany I had during the chapter, so I can't really elaborate further, but it feels like the viewpoint swaps really helped with the flow of the epilogue as a whole and kept some things in the dark that needed to be as dictated by the narrative. I also like the little quips/thoughts you put in the parenthesis, as they really do serve to flesh out the characters, and some of them were downright cute as well.

And a bit of a side note: I grew up with Street Fighter 2 on the SNES, so I instantly recognized and appreciated the homage in the arcade scene, and could very nearly pick out all the characters. First one for Hisao was Blanka, first (and second, I think) for Hanako was Dhalsim; Second and third for Hisao was Sagat, if "started throwing fireballs at my feet" is any indication; Third for Hanako was Vega, as she chose a "speedier" fighter that "jumped off the wall" and "[didn't have] projectiles" (although it could also very easily be Chun-Li, as her projectile is a different button combo). And now that my inner nerd is done showing off, I think I'll leave this post with a 10/10, would read again and recommend to others. It truly feels canon and how it interlaces with Lilly's route at times is a nice nod to the expanded timeframe in the VN.

Yeah, Hanako's shoulderblades and buttocks have some of her heaviest scarring. Well good thing Hisao's not the sort to want to pinch her in the butt.

Only on her right. Her left shoulderblade and buttock lack the scarring. If he wanted to pinch her and picks the right buttock, she might not even notice it.

I guess it also would affect how he gives her massages.

Burn victims can often still feel sensations like heavy pressure...it's just the light stroking they can't experience. He'd have to adapt his style though since scar tissue can't be kneaded as well as ordinary skin.

And a bit of a side note: I grew up with Street Fighter 2 on the SNES, so I instantly recognized and appreciated the homage in the arcade scene, and could very nearly pick out all the characters. First one for Hisao was Blanka, first (and second, I think) for Hanako was Dhalsim; Second and third for Hisao was Sagat, if "started throwing fireballs at my feet" is any indication; Third for Hanako was Vega, as she chose a "speedier" fighter that "jumped off the wall" and "[didn't have] projectiles" (although it could also very easily be Chun-Li, as her projectile is a different button combo). And now that my inner nerd is done showing off, I think I'll leave this post with a 10/10, would read again and recommend to others. It truly feels canon and how it interlaces with Lilly's route at times is a nice nod to the expanded timeframe in the VN.

Yep, it's Blanka vs. Dhalsim in match 1, Sagat vs. Dhalsim in match 2 and Sagat vs. Vega in match 3. (Chun-Li has no sliding attacks) I wanted to pick some fighters who were, in a twisted way or not, fitting for the characters. Blanka and Sagat for Hisao (messy hairdo and chest scar) and Dhalsim and Vega for Hanako. (fire attacks/keep others at a distance and tendency to hide the face) It's nice to see people picking those little things up.

Wasn't that big of a SF fan to pick that one up. But still, nice one, although I would think that the choice of fighters were made subconsciously by our couple in the story.