KosherBacon's writefaggotry: Lilly, Hisao, Page 18

[Leotrak]

Ye gods, kosher, you've really done it now... We should've known, though. When the Bacon tags a story as "NO YURI", run. Run as far as your legs can carry you. Run across hills, plains, mountains and oceans.

Or accept your fate, read the story, and visit Neuman for some of his kosher-grade brain-bleach.



... So should I consider this partly a result of one particular short I came up with a while ago, or is this all the bacon's work?

[kosherbacon]

... So should I consider this partly a result of one particular short I came up with a while ago, or is this all the bacon's work?

Actually, I've wanted to do a Hisao/Kenji story for a while, but I do appreciate you sticking your neck out and helping break the barrier with that Mutou-fic.

[Goldilurks]

Happy Birthday, Neuman. You can look forward to one of these every year.

Kosher, it was actually cleverly done, but I want my Yuri back.

[trekki859]

MY EYES, DEAR GOD MY EYES!


seriously .... nah. i wont insult you but thats just NOT my thing dude. spiolir it and warn about the bromance.

[Shades of gray]

seriously .... nah. i wont insult you but thats just NOT my thing dude. spoiler it and warn about the bromance.

kosher wont do that, makes the responses more amusing...

[trekki859]

lol. i supose it will wont it??? but still... DAYUM.... kenji... * shivers*

i swear to god im gonna have nightmares about this.

[Morph]

lol. i supose it will wont it??? but still... DAYUM.... kenji... * shivers*

i swear to god im gonna have nightmares about this.

Sometimes it's bad to have a good imagination.

[neumanproductions]

lol. i supose it will wont it??? but still... DAYUM.... kenji... * shivers*
i swear to god im gonna have nightmares about this.

Sometimes it's bad to have a good imagination.

And sometimes it is a very good thing. Obviously though, if I know Kosher well enough, he is enjoying the fruits of his imagination more and more.

[Morph]

lol. i supose it will wont it??? but still... DAYUM.... kenji... * shivers*
i swear to god im gonna have nightmares about this.

Sometimes it's bad to have a good imagination.

And sometimes it is a very good thing. Obviously though, if I know Kosher well enough, he is enjoying the fruits of his imagination more and more.

Phew!
At first I thought this link was leading to an image that shows something out of this story (Or something similar).
Was already regretting to click on it while the side was loading.

[neumanproductions]

And sometimes it is a very good thing. Obviously though, if I know Kosher well enough, he is enjoying the fruits of his imagination more and more.

Phew!
At first I thought this link was leading to an image that shows something out of this story (Or something similar).
Was already regretting to click on it while the side was loading.

If I was going to have it linked to something like that I would have properly labeled it WTHWISETLTTFTMTIAMUAGISTSMDAWAIBNSFW

Why the hell was i stupid enough to link to this, for that means that I am messed up and god is sure to strike me down as well as it being not safe for work.

[kosherbacon]

Holy crap, I've been doing this for a whole year!

Anyways, here's something silly I did a while ago to break a bout of writer's block. The characters are OCs, but they feature disabilities that I'm surprised haven't been featured in KS and KS fandom yet.

================================================================================================================================
The Split
================================================================================================================================

"Hey! Eyes up here!"

"Huh? What? I'm just a little tired, that's all."

"Noboru, when you asked me to help you prepare for your entrance exams, I meant actually studying. However, your mind is... on other things."

"Like what?"

"Well, you know... the kind of thing boys generally have on their mind when invited to a lady's room."

"Like what?"

Yukiko checked to make sure her ever present roommate, Natsuko wasn't paying attention, then derisively answered "Sex."

Believe it or not, that frigid ball of loathing was my girlfriend. Why, pray tell, would a guy like me date an ice queen? Well, okay, she wasn't that bad. Yukiko was smart, she kept me focused, she looked good by my side, and there were indeed times we enjoyed each other. She was the kind of girl I could take home to my mom as proof that I wasn't a complete failure in life.

Natsuko giggled when Yukiko's fingers darted from her breasts to her face when she caught me slacking off again. Really though, was it really that unreasonable for someone getting tutored to actually glance down at the work?

Who am I kidding? I totally was looking down her shirt.

"Noboru Tsukuda," she lectured, using my surname for professionally aloof emphasis, "you cannot rely on this school's good name as padding for your deficiencies. In fact, colleges expect Yamaku students to be exceptional in spite of disability. Do not count on sympathy points for admission but in fact the opposite."

Right around when Yukiko stopped being my girlfriend entirely and became a guidance counsellor, I received a text message.

From: OGAWANATSUKO
cn u cum ovr 2nte if ur free?

I discreetly gave a response to the solicitation. Now, now, I DO care about Yukiko, but as a grown-ass man without any testicular disability, I have needs.

...Needs that Yukiko wouldn't fulfill.

...Needs that Natsuko said she would take care of if I gave her the time. Her secretive wink and smile sealed my fate.

Natsuko was the free spirit to Yukiko's uptight chastity. She got mediocre grades, had wandering interests that never seemed to amount to anything, and she laughed to jokes that made Yukiko blush with disgust. Most importantly of all, she was like me. Natsuko was just a girl who went to an unusual school where she wouldn't be stared at. The two of us weren't here for an elite education, just a little bit of normal life. You know, like normal kids are supposed to have.

And like a normal person, I was presented with an opportunity to put an end to years of stroking my shit and actually get with a girl.

...A girl who happened to be my girlfriend's twin sister.

...And roommate.

Seriously, I deserved a medal for that feat of ballsy stupidity. Yeah, I probably should've mentioned that they were sisters, but I got used to taking that fact for granted, since they're constantly joined at the hip and at each other's throats like any good siblings are.

After that sad excuse for a study session, I hobbled my way across the school and back to my room to wait until Natsuko messaged that it was clear. Evidently, Yukiko was a very heavy sleeper.

Despite Natsuko's outgoing personality, our relationship was a discrete one that consisted mostly of text messages, emails, and lustful glances. Obviously, she knew about my relationship with her sister; everyone in our classes knew, since Yukiko was the class representative.

I suppose the upside to my thing was that being short made sneaking around all the easier. When I stopped growing while the other kids kept getting taller, I became the king of hide-and-seek. Well, that was until even I outgrew the game while everyone else outgrew the game of “humoring-the-midget.”

Getting into the girls' dorms was easy enough, as was getting past the dorm mom. As promised, the door to Natsuko's and Yukiko's room was left unlocked. It was dark and foreboding, but a reflective glint in Natsuko's eyes signaled that it was okay to proceed.

My two girls, who naturally shared a bed, ebbed and flowed from one side to another. Eventually, a point came where there was just enough room on the bed for me to squeeze in.

To my mild surprise, I found that Yukiko and Natsuko slept in the nude. It had not occurred to me until then that sleepwear just as hard to come by as their other garments. They didn't bother with non-essential pajamas because they were more trouble to obtain than they were worth.

“Hi” was the extent of smalltalk that I engaged in before Natsuko silenced me with her lips. Her kiss took my breath away, not because it was particularly good or anything, but because I had made the irreversible jump from barely-deniable flirting to outright cheating. My heart raced as we ran the bases, not just from the act in on itself but the fact that we were getting away with it.

With anatomy being what it was and our differences in stature being what they were, I'm sorry to report that the actual sex wasn't exactly ball-blazingly awesome. Things would have probably ...interacted better if I did Natsuko from behind, but it was impossible to change positions without waking Yukiko.

Having done the deed successfully, we felt confident enough that we could whisper through a conversation without problem.

“Noboru,” Natsuko asked with her hopes on the line, “do you love me?”

“Of course I do,” I replied, knowing full well that saying “No” to someone I just had taboo sex with would be maximum stupidity.

“Do you love me?” I asked, getting the worm-can opened and over with.

“I've seen how you are with Yukiko all this time. How could I not?”

Natsuko was indeed around for every moment I had with Yukiko. With her around all the time and present every step of the way, it was like I was dating two girls at once. With the healthy application of twisted logic, I could have even called her an auxiliary girlfriend. That certainly would've been a better role than third wheel.

A part of me felt bad for leaving Natsuko technically out of the relationship, but I refused to entertain the possibility that the affair was out of pity.

I left the scene of the crime reluctantly and painfully, as if I was cutting off a person who had fused to my body to become a part of me. Natsuko was in tears and if I didn't know any better, I could've sworn that Yukiko was too.

Getting back to my room was easy. Even if it wasn't, it wouldn't have mattered. I had more pressing concerns. I had come to terms with my feelings and realized that Yukiko and I really were just a couple in name only. Natsuko and I actually cared for each other ...and we actually fucked. Given that she was around for all my boyfriendly songs and dances, my mind came to the conclusion that my relationship with Natsuko was every bit as valid as my loveless, but "real" one.

I had to sort things out. And by sort things I meant procrastinate and dodge the problem until someone else deals with it for me.

It's a valid strategy.

Just as planned, the issue was forced to a head the next morning. Yukiko wanted to talk. You know, the kind of talk a girl gives when she's either delivering an ultimatum or a death sentence.

I met Yukiko before lunch in an unused club room. Of course, Natsuko was there too. My girlfriend immediately looked down on me. And not a kind of look I get because I'm small, but the sort of look that said “You're dead, bitch.”

Yukiko took a deep breath, the kind she did to gather wind for one of her famous lectures and...

...kicked me right in the dick.

“I-I thought she was you,” I pleaded between gasps. Ever careful, I planned ahead and had several rehearsed excuses.

“Don't give me that shit. You KNOW what side I'm on.”

I picked the wrong excuse. Nonetheless, my laughable attempts at damage control did get a few chuckles breaking up the horror on Natsuko's face.

“I cannot have gossip of this incident following me like a parasite. Nobody must know. Do you understand?”

“Yes, babe.”

“DON'T CALL ME 'BABE' YOU CHEATING LITTLE SHIT. OH YEAH, AND I SNUCK A PEEK. YOUR SHRIVELLED PENCIL-PRICK IS EVERY BIT AS SMALL AS THE REST OF YOU.”

Ouch. Low blow. Really, I didn't mind. I was mostly amazed to see that much emoting come from Yukiko the robot.

Yukiko shuddered and added “The worst part was... I felt some of it and... it hurt feeling that and knowing you were giving it to her and not me.”

“You felt it?!”

“OF COURSE I FELT IT!” she screamed, as if that was the dumbest question she had ever heard in her life.

With a jerk that yanked a pitying Natsuko out of my grasp, Yukiko turned her back to me and marched her way out of the room.

“Don't you ever even look at either of us again.”

“Wait! Stop!” an unexpected voice brought Yukiko to a halt. “I-I still want Noboru around us.”

“I won't allow it. He's no good for you. Now let's—”

“He IS good for me. Just because you two don't have chemistry doesn't mean we didn't. I'm not you, I'll never be you, so let me be who I want to be with!”

“Natsuko Ogawa, this is neither the time nor the place for your childish whin—”

Yukiko's oration was interrupted by a punch to the mouth that literally knocked both girls over. For the first time ever, Yukiko, the girl who never loved anything but the sound of her voice was silenced.

“I'M NOT YOUR CHILD. I'M SICK OF YOU NOT GIVING NOBORU ANY RESPECT.”

I didn't quite get what Natsuko was going on about. Sure, Yukiko kinda treated me like shit, but then again she treated everyone that way. I liked to think that perhaps I was the person she treated the least awful. Besides, I deserved at least some of that crap. I mean, come on, I did just cheat on her. That's more than enough to get on most shit-lists automatically.

“I'M SICK OF JUST BEING 'YUKIKO'S SISTER,' AND I'M SICK OF JUST BEING YOUR APPENDAGE!”

Then, it became clear that the first outburst on my behalf really was just a launchpad for Natsuko's own frustrations. All this time, I just barely got along with Yukiko, but didn't think for a second what it would be like to spend every waking moment with her.

“Everything's gotta be about you, you, you,” Natsuko continued with her cracked voice. “All I am to you is a shadow you're stuck with, right?”

“Well,” Yukiko shot back at her impudent sister, “maybe if you stopped goofing off once in a while, you'd actually go somewhere. Do you have any idea how hard I've been working to carry your weight so we could go to the same university?”

“Why do we have to go to your school?”

“Oh? And where WOULD we go?”

“Art school. I want to be an artist.”

“Do you even have any talent?”

“I do! And I'd have more if you'd let us take an art class once in a while!”

Seeing that I was no longer the focus of that squabble, I left the sisters to slap-fight all they wanted behind closed doors.

“And why can't I be the one to have a boyfriend? I actually like him” was the last I heard before I quietly slipped through the door.

Since I didn't see either of them in class the rest of the day, I could only assume that their fight continued and was quite epic. Maybe, I thought for a moment, they killed each other.

I was almost surprised when Yukiko came to my room after dinnertime along with Natsuko in tow. Up till that day, I didn't realize that Natsuko never quite walked side-by-side with her sister and was always behind, getting dragged along. I never dedicated a single thought to it before but by then it was incredibly obvious.

“Noboru, we nead to talk.”

Translation: “I have a lot of things I want to say because I haven't gotten off on the sound of my own voice in a while, so you're going to listen until I'm satisfied.”

“I'm listening.”

Translation: “Get it over with already.”

“We're breaking up.”

“Um, yeah I guess we never officially said it's—”

“I meant Natsuko and I.”

“Wait, what?”

“Don't think perverted things,” she corrected with exhausted somberness. “I meant physically.”

“Is that even possible?”

“It has been possible for some time. We were waiting as long as possible because it gets easier the more mature our bodies are. Just a simple cut along our sides and we'd be free to live our own separate lives like normal girls. It's not like we share organs or limbs or anything.”

The realization that I somehow had enough influence to force a pair of conjoined twins apart knocked me over onto my ass. I always thought I would've been proud to pull something like that off but I couldn't help but feel awful that I was ruining a bond that strong.

"Simple cut? But, isn't there a possibility that it'll kill you both?"

"Well," Yukiko clarified, "I didn't mean simple as in over in a day. It will be major surgery, but our circumstances aren't nearly as bad as they could be."

“Yukiko, I'm sorry, for everything. Really, I am.”

“Enough. I don't want to hear it. Our lives are going in different directions and we've been holding each other back for years. It's time to let go while we still can.”

“It's okay,” Natsuko said to break her silence, “this is what we want. We've just been putting this operation off all these years.”

“Noboru, what you and my sister do is no longer of concern to me. All I ask is that until we get separated this fall, you keep your relationship out of my face.”

After pursuing the wrong girl for the better part of a year and royally screwing that up, I was offered a new start, the way it was supposed to be. How did I begin that new era?

“Does that mean a threesome isn't going to happen?”

Smooth.

-End-

seriously .... nah. i wont insult you but thats just NOT my thing dude. spoiler it and warn about the bromance.

kosher wont do that, makes the responses more amusing...

Exactly.

[Shades of gray]

While I dislike OCs with a passion... I... I...




*EDIT* Yes kosher, thats to let you know i love your yuri stories

[Silentcook]

Where's a "speechless" reaction image when I need one.

[Goldilurks]

“Does that mean a threesome isn't going to happen?”

...So Noboru's disability is foot-in-mouth disorder?

[Mag]

All I can say is "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"

Ok so I went mia for a while and caught wind of a new story kosherbacon wrote. I also heard there was no yuri in it. To my surprise, i got a face full of yaoi. not pleased at all. the second story was pretty good and can't believe how stupid Noboru is. Though it is somewhat surprising to not see something like this in Yamaku.

To you, good sir Kosherbacon, i congratulate you. you have been writing for a year and never cease to destroy our minds and make us devour bleach like it's water and we're in the middle of the desert. To you good sir.

-head explodes-