Yamaku Book Club (20220124 Dish Washing)

[Oddball]

The holidays are far behind us now, let's get the bookclub started back up again. I'd ask if anybody missed it, but I'm just going to assume everyone will say "yes" and move on.

This time we're looking at Miki Route/Project Indigo by Req. Req is actually one of my favorite KS fanartists and it's nice to see them try something with the written word as well. The story itself suffers from the infamous Miki curse, so it's not completed and hasn't been updated in years.

It's script fic and a know a lot of people don't like that, myself included, but it does a good job with mood and personality. My only real complaint is how the story handled Suzu.

[Oddball]

No replies to the book club.

None.

It's rather disheartening and I'm wondering if I should even keep this going.


...


...


Well, let's see if that was just a one time exception. Let's try this one more time.




A God Among Men by Neuman.

What's this story about? Death Note. More specifically, KENJI getting the Death Note.

It's actually a pretty silly story that never pretends it's anything but a parody, but for what it is, it's actually rather well done. Lilly's role came as a bit of a surprise. As did Rin's.

On an unrelated note, I LOVE that guy's avatar.

[Feurox]

As for why I didn't comment on the previous story; I really don't have the time to read through script. I do enough for work, and I'd rather enjoy what I'm reading on here. Not that scripts are all bad - one of my favourite stories ever is Glengarry Glen Ross. Still, in KS at least, I don't have the patience for it. I'll take your word for it that it's good, and carry on.

For this next story - wow it went on! I didn't realise how many chapters there were at first, (and there's even an epilogue!). Still, it was a fun enough read. Like you say, it doesn't pretend to be anything that it isn't, but it succeeds incredibly at being a silly parody story. It's wonderfully written too, and like you, I was surprised by Rin's role in the story! I admit though, stories like this aren't for me as a rule, and this wasn't the exception.

[PKMNthiefChris]

That was funny.

[Mirage_GSM]

Uhm... Yes, that exists.
Neumann wrote a lot of good stuff, but as I wrote in that thread "I did read "A god among men", but to put it mildly, I'm not the biggest fan of Death Note, so it wasn't really my thing through no fault of [his]."
Sorry for not commenting on the last one. I've been pretty swamped the last couple of weeks and am just now starting to catch up with what has been going on in the forums.

[Hacksorus]

When I was about 15, I watched Death Note for the first time, and loved it. Then again, I watched Sword Art Online shortly afterwards and also loved that, so take from that what you will. Looking back now, there is about one thing about both of them that I still find gripping: the premise. A notebook that can kill someone with a name and a face? That's cool. Getting trapped in a videogame and becoming OP while every cute girl in existence instantly falls in love with you? Cool as hell.

The comparisons end there of course. Death Note held up on the rewatch due to the intense mindgames and plot twists, excellent soundtrack and explosive directing style, while SAO.. well, there's no need for me to get into that here.

I guess this is all a roundabout way of saying that a premise, while immediately impactful, actually has very little to do with whether or not a story is actually gripping. Unfortunately, this fanfic did not make me experience much of what I find so exciting about Death Note.

[Oddball]

This Padded Cell I Call A School
New story everybody!


If nothing else, I have to give major points for the title alone. Now THAT is a title that will reach out and grab you.

The main character was a nice refreshing change of pace. Somebody that has had their problem for a while and was actually HAPPY to be going to Yamaku at first. At first.

Once she gets to the school she runs into a few pet peeves of mine. For one, the fact that she arrives at school and then has to go right to class. Why? Why can't she come the day before class starts? that way she has time to get settled. For that matter, why is she arriving so late anyway. We know Hisao just got out of the hospital, but her condition doesn't seem to suggest the same thing. Then she follows Hisao's routine. It feels like too much of a retread on what could instead be an interesting new look at Yamaku.

[NoticeMeOppai]

Damn, I just started getting into it and it was done. The curse of reading fanfiction I guess.

As Oddball said, interesting main character, was curious to see where the other voice plotline was going. Good to see Mirage on top form with the sass as usual in the comments.

[Oddball]

Objects in Space [Hisao] by Doomish.

This time we're going to look at a story by Doomish. Doomish's works tend to live up to his name and he's established a bit of a reputation in the community, this one isn't nearly as nasty and all around over the top as you might expect from him. It's just a very normal kind of depressing and for that it works wonderful. It's also nicely open ended. It never really does tell you exactly how things got the way they are now.

Check it out.

[NuclearStudent]

Reading Objects In Space makes me wish I could have known and talked to Doomish. In terms of design, style, and intent it's very similar to a piece I recently did about Saki and Hisao being sad. I suspect that he also, as a writer of some over-the-top out-there stuff, wanted to pursue a more subdued vector of assault.

In general I think his prose could stand to be more pared down. I can see little parts like "Everywhere I look I see something that reminds me of the old days" which could be expunged and replaced in favor of highlighting the wonderfully fresh "when the house was still fresh and maybe our relationship was too." This is a complaint, I think, I have in general about Doomish's prose style.

[Feurox]

Yes, a wonderful piece. Not over the top tragic, just sadly real. I think a the beginning its a bit overdone, but it really does just feel like a Hisao who knows he could have been better, knows he can't go back, and in the end knows that's life. Sad, real, and overall a good read. Wonderful choice this week.

[KSFFWriter]

Man. This one has a real post-divorce sorta vibe. Although the 'you' could be dead, too, it's certainly possible. I'm not sure it specifies.

But the tone through the story is pretty immaculate. No weird tangents or anything too over the top, just that creeping, drowning depression that comes after something irreversible.

A fun read, in its way, even if it's barely KS at all.

[woohootouhou]

I think the length of this one was just right too. If it had dragged out longer then It might have gotten a bit awkward with how open-ended it is, but It was just long enough to set up the fantastic tone.

[Oddball]

Here's a two for one deal for ya' because both of them are short probably a bit too short really.

Rookie Error by Revvy

and

Funny and weird OS. [HisaoXCharacters] by Myshina. Okay technically the story we're reading is Oh Mah Drills~! . Funny and Weird is just the name of the topic.


Rookie Error is a kenji/Akira fic. Not something you see very often and not something that really works in any kind of realistic story. You have to give it points for doing something different if nothing else.


Funny and Weird or Oh Mah Drills, whichever we're calling it is a quick one joke story, but I feel the joke falls flat. It would have worked better if Hisao had never found out but the reader did.

[Mirage_GSM]

Rookie Error sounds like the response to the challenge "How can I make Akira and Kenji fuck in 200 words or less"...

And I'm not sure I would even call the conclusion of "Oh Mah Drills" a joke. I'm not sure what else it might be either...