For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 11/1/19)

[Drascus]

so... how often is this being updated?

[Silentcook]

Refer to the first post to find out.

[Helbereth]

This was posted more than two weeks ago by my count, but I didn't read it until just now. I sent a PM with a couple little hiccups that annoyed me, but they're minor problems.

Why aren't we ever told what's in the box Aoi gave Hisao? I understand his hesitance noit to tell Misha, but it seems he doesn't even know what's in the box. Is this about to turn into the ending of Seven?

[Kurara]

Uh, I was under the impression that the box contains the clothing item that she bought for him.

[Helbereth]

Uh, I was under the impression that the box contains the clothing item that she bought for him.

Yes, but what? She disappeared while he changed out of the sweater-vest, and we're never told what's actually in the box.

[Kurara]

Uh, I was under the impression that the box contains the clothing item that she bought for him.

Yes, but what? She disappeared while he changed out of the sweater-vest, and we're never told what's actually in the box.

"Aoi’s picked out an orange and black sweater vest, which she seems to be forcing into my hands."

The box contains this item, I would presume based on the implications.

[Helbereth]

Before I can react, she grabs me by the shoulders, spins me around, and pushes me back into the smaller room, closing the door behind me.

She’s nowhere to be seen when I come back out, having changed back into my original clothes. I imagine the others might be finished by now, so I try to find the door we first came in.

The store turns out to be a rather intimidating maze, in spite of the signs posted everywhere, but I eventually find Aoi waiting by the exit doors with a box in her hands. Catching sight of me, she holds out the box for me to accept.

He has the vest, she shoves him in the room... he comes out, she's gone... he finds her, she has the box--wtf is in the fucking box? Assumptions are fine, but we don't actually have any idea.

[Steinherz]

Before I can react, she grabs me by the shoulders, spins me around, and pushes me back into the smaller room, closing the door behind me.

She’s nowhere to be seen when I come back out, having changed back into my original clothes. I imagine the others might be finished by now, so I try to find the door we first came in.

The store turns out to be a rather intimidating maze, in spite of the signs posted everywhere, but I eventually find Aoi waiting by the exit doors with a box in her hands. Catching sight of me, she holds out the box for me to accept.

He has the vest, she shoves him in the room... he comes out, she's gone... he finds her, she has the box--wtf is in the fucking box? Assumptions are fine, but we don't actually have any idea.

What's in the box? Same thing as what is in Kenji's box. Other girl's routes

[pip25]

I just finished reading Act Two; I know part of Act Three is already available, but I figured I might as well review this part first, since it can stand on its own to an extent. I only skimmed through the comments up to the end of the act, so please forgive me if some of what I intend to bring up here was actually answered already later on.

There were a whole lot of things that I greatly enjoyed in this story so far.
You seem to be able to replicate the narrative style of Katawa Shoujo (and perhaps the Shizune route in particular) superbly. Hisao's narration and characterization feel like something straight from the game. And not only that, his narration is also hugely entertaining, aided further by supporting characters who are handled in a similarly exquisite manner: Emi, Rin (not sure why the others had problems with her characterization), the Nurse and of course Kenji were all done believably and all had their moments that made me smile, chuckle, or even laugh out loud.
I also liked most of the plot. Certainly no car accidents in sight here XD, the story had exactly the kind of slice-of-life feel that you'd expect from a Katawa Shoujo route. You did a great job taking the choices of Act One into account, and integrating the other main characters into the tale in a believable manner. Emi and Rin were fun, and it was also nice to get a glimpse of Hanako in the Newspaper Club, something that was mentioned in other routes but was never elaborated upon.

Misha's character was also really interesting. I loved how you expanded upon her interest of delicious foods shown in the Shizune route. She and Hisao taking turns to interpret for Shizune was an awesome idea, it actually surprises me that the original game never brought that up. She having a swimmer background was unexpected, but completely believable; it was also a nice touch that you used the pool here, which is mentioned in Act One but then is completely forgotten in the game. She assuming a role which parallels Emi's in her own route to an extent did come off as a bit strange, however, but I'll go into detail concerning that later.
One additional thing that felt a bit strange was how readily you used Misha's "not so happy" side so early on in the story. In Shizune's route, when Misha started acting troubled and sad after summer vacation, it was something of a shock or at least a remarkable change of pace compared to what came before. Here, she did things like that on a fairly regular basis. Funnily enough, this made her look more like a "normal" person, who, like everyone else, has her ups and downs - but one of the personality traits usually attributed to Misha is that she strives to keep smiling even when she doesn't really feel that happy at all. It usually takes something drastic to make her look down, which obviously wasn't the case here.

If there's one character who felt really, really odd in this act, it would be Shizune. Not even her characterization, to tell the truth (although that had its eyebrow-raising moments as well), but the way you used her (or, more precisely, the way you failed to make use of her) throughout the story.
In my opinion, of all the main heroines, Shizune and Misha are the closest to each other. Emi and Rin share an interesting but not very close friendship, Lilly and Hanako are pretty inseparable but Lilly makes an effort to get Hanako to look outside their tea room a little and socialize with others. Misha and Shizune, well... they have each other, and not much else. Lilly goes as far as to call it a "dependency bubble", and while that may not be the most level-headed remark, it's not entirely inaccurate either. With that in mind, the fact that during the whole act Shizune and you, the author both tried your hardest to keep the council president "off-screen" without much of an explanation is quite stunning.
At first it was only somewhat puzzling. During the first part of the act, when Hisao did not understand sign language yet, Shizune did show up from time to time, but it felt almost like she wasn't really there. She didn't do anything. She didn't say anything. (Or maybe she did, but for some strange reason Misha didn't translate.) Her presence was nearly unnoticeable, and mute or not, Shizune being unnoticeable feels like an oxymoron. It also didn't help that you tended to gloss over the few occasions when the three of them were actually doing something together with nothing but a few sentences. For example: Shizune and Misha teach Hisao sign language - what a great idea! I wonder how it will-- Hey, what do you mean it's already over...? O_o (Considering she was taught by the girls instead of taking classes, it also felt somewhat unbelievable that he learned sign language so quickly, even if Hisao is obviously a sign language genius if the Shizune route is any indication.)
At this point, I just suspected that you might have difficulty with scenes featuring the three of them together. (That'd be a shame, since they have great chemistry and you do have a knack for writing both funny and intelligent dialogue for more than two people at once as well.) So, I thought, once Hisao and Shizune can have a conversation by themselves, things might get a little better. Well, I was wrong. Shizune did "talk" more when she was there, but to "compensate" she started picking up the habit of simply running off. Nearly. Every. Single. Scene. It was baffling, to the point that I found myself laughing nervously every time she appeared, knowing all too well that she will predictably vanish after a couple of seconds. And she did, right to the very end.

I can think of two reasons for the above, one in-universe reason and one that's more of a writing and plot handling issue - only you can tell which, if any, is true.
The in-universe reason which occurred to me pretty early on was that Shizune perhaps wanted to see Misha and Hisao together and thus tried to give them space. There are three problems with this: for this Shizune, it's slightly out of character, her circumstances make this impossible to do believably especially to such an extent, an extent which also feels excessive.
There's no point to denying that Shizune isn't the easiest person to get along with. There was a reason to why all the previous members of the council quit, leaving her by herself until Lilly, and later Misha came along. While her goals are almost always noble, it took the efforts of Hisao and nearly losing her closest friend, Misha, to make her realize that she should not take the companionship of those who help her with said goals for granted. It was the single most important conflict of her route, and naturally no such thing happened here yet. So, why would she put aside all her plans, all her duties with the Student Council for this? She did not let her love life get ahead of what she considered her duties even when she was dating Hisao... Not to mention that she's simply not capable of doing everything alone. She needs her friends' help, that's why it was such a problem that Misha had to take a few days off from the council to study before Tanabata. Here, Hisao comes up with a great idea that lets Misha catch up on her studies faster while also allowing the two to spend time together, but they still don't really help Shizune out. They are almost Student Council members in name only at this point. And then, as if you also noticed that this could get problematic, you throw in perhaps the most inconceivable twist in the entire act: Shizune gets some permanent helpers from the lower classes. By herself. Without a interpreter. Again, we're talking about the same girl here who drove everyone out of the council once. Six months later, in her own route, I can maybe see that happen, although it'd still be a shock.
In general, it feels a bit like you took parts of Misha and Shizune from the end of the latter's route (Misha being more honest about herself to Hisao, Shizune being more empathic and having less tunnel vision) and applied them to their previous selves at the start of the story. Obviously, we readers know that they can end up like that, but they'd have to get there first...
The second possible reason why Shizune got the short end of the stick here is that her very dominant personality can easily turn the plot upside down. Like when you want to write a story about a superhero's sidekick: the presence of the superhero in the story can quickly lead to him hijacking the plot, defeating all the villains and forcing the sidekick back to his original position even though he was supposed to be the main character for this tale. On the other hand, however, trying too hard to get the superhero away from the action or trying too hard to give the sidekick an edge in that particular conflict can lead to the plot feeling contrived, and the cast hierarchy (and by extension, the cast members themselves) barely recognizable.
Interestingly enough, with Shizune away most of the time, Misha seems to have started stealing a few of her characteristics. She orders Hisao around a couple of times. She bonks him on the head. Before, it was hard to see her name and words like "smirk" or "predator" used in the same sentence, but now it comes up occasionally. The very fact that she is tasked with keeping Hisao in shape and does the job without much difficulty is unusual, as Misha is usually described as more of a follower even in the fanfic itself (by Lilly). Hisao is pointed out as the reason for this change (and oddly enough as the reason why new council members have joined, too, which I simply don't get O_o) but it is never said why or how he did that, and even more problematically, we never see the change happen, because Misha and Shizune seem to act the way they do from the very beginning of the story here.

Why am I harping so much on this? For the same reason Misha had so much of an involvement in Shizune's route - in my opinion you can't understand one without understanding the other. Shutting out Shizune like this may possibly have very negative consequences in the long run on the credibility of the main story itself, namely the love of Hisao and Misha. It's not inevitable, of course, but it's a definite possibility; the rest, only time will tell.

I'd like to reiterate however, that despite the above wall of text, I did enjoy reading this story quite a bit. I wouldn't have stayed up until 4 am. to finish Act Two otherwise. I am very interested in what the already available parts of Act Three, and of course the future will bring. Until next time.

Best wishes,
Steven

[Mirage_GSM]

Misha and Shizune, well... they have each other, and not much else. Lilly goes as far as to call it a "dependency bubble", and while that may not be the most level-headed remark, it's not entirely inaccurate either. With that in mind, the fact that during the whole act Shizune and you, the author both tried your hardest to keep the council president "off-screen" without much of an explanation is quite stunning.
At first it was only somewhat puzzling. During the first part of the act, when Hisao did not understand sign language yet, Shizune did show up from time to time, but it felt almost like she wasn't really there, but instead left a Shizune-shaped cardboard replica to fill in for her. She didn't do anything. She didn't say anything. (Or maybe she did, but for some strange reason Misha didn't translate.) Her presence was nearly unnoticeable, and mute or not, Shizune being unnoticeable feels like an oxymoron.

Well, this is one of the conflicts that arise, when a third person - in this case Hisao - enters the dependency bubble.
First of all, the narrator is Hisao, and if he is dating Misha, the narration will naturally focus on her with Shizune relgated a bit to the background. I faced the same problem in the Misha Route I wrote, though I resolved it a bit differently than the Prof. Part of Prof's approach was that Shizune actively tried to get into the background to give Hisao and Misha more space.

And then, as if you also noticed that this could get problematic, you throw in perhaps the most inconceivable twist in the entire act: Shizune gets some permanent helpers from the lower classes. By herself. Without a interpreter. Again, we're talking about the same girl here who drove everyone out of the council once. Six months later, in her own route, I can maybe see that happen, although it'd still be a shock.

Well, in her own route, she had no need to look for new members until six months later, since she had Misha and Hisao. Here she was forced to make an effort to recruit new members, and I have no problem believing that she's able to do so.

The second possible reason why Shizune got the short end of the stick here is that her very dominant personality can easily turn the plot upside down. Like when you want to write a story about a superhero's sidekick: the presence of the superhero in the story can quickly lead to him hijacking the plot,...

This prolem does not even arise because - as I mentioned earlier - the narrator is bound to focus on Misha more than on Shizune, no matter how dominant her personality. Also, I think that Misha's personality can very well compare to Shizune's

[pip25]

First of all, the narrator is Hisao, and if he is dating Misha, the narration will naturally focus on her with Shizune relgated a bit to the background.

The preferences of the narrator will only get you so far. Compare this route to Hanako's or Lilly's route, for instance: you don't see either of them "disappear" from the story to such an extent, especially not at the very beginning, even if Hisao is pursuing the other girl this time.
Also, we have to keep in mind that the narration of Katawa Shoujo is first person present tense, which rules out some of the tricks you can get away with in a more "traditional" narrative: you either show the scene or part of the scene as it happens, you summarize it, or you don't show it at all. If Hisao shows us a conversation and Shizune isn't saying anything, then she really isn't saying anything, and it's not just that Hisao isn't paying enough attention. With first person past tense, we could say that Hisao doesn't "remember" the parts where Shizune was talking about something; here, this simply wouldn't work.

I faced the same problem in the Misha Route I wrote, though I resolved it a bit differently than the Prof. Part of Prof's approach was that Shizune actively tried to get into the background to give Hisao and Misha more space.

I suppose everyone writing a Misha route has to face this same issue. This is also why I "cheated" and used the fact that the Shizune route established the characters well enough already to make sure that Shizune not being there won't pose that much of a problem. I admittedly went around the problem instead of finding a solution - because it's definitely also true that no one wants to tell the Shizune route all over again with just a few cosmetic changes.

Well, in her own route, she had no need to look for new members until six months later, since she had Misha and Hisao. Here she was forced to make an effort to recruit new members, and I have no problem believing that she's able to do so.

Hold on, that's not entirely true. According to Misha, she and Shizune had been trying to recruit members all the time in the past, only to end up with precious few volunteers who, to make things worse, all gave up rather quickly and left. If that's how well they fared together, I can't really see Shizune faring that much better by herself, and that's quite the understatement.

Also, I think that Misha's personality can very well compare to Shizune's

Of course, in a whole lot of aspects Misha is probably even ahead of Shizune. But in terms of dominance? Misha might be many things, but I don't believe she's the leader type.

[AntonSlavik020]

Honestly Aoi annoys me. I'm not a fan of original characters to begin with, but her personality just rubs me the wrong way about every way possible. I especially hated her when she refused to speak to Hisao at the store unless she had too. Saying that annoyed me is a massive understatement. There is literally nothing about her I like. Too be honest I don't really like Keiko very much either. From her driving to her general serious personality I don't like her either.

[Steinherz]

Honestly Aoi annoys me. I'm not a fan of original characters to begin with, but her personality just rubs me the wrong way about every way possible. I especially hated her when she refused to speak to Hisao at the store unless she had too. Saying that annoyed me is a massive understatement. There is literally nothing about her I like. Too be honest I don't really like Keiko very much either. From her driving to her general serious personality I don't like her either.

Aoi and Keiko aren't Original Characters.
If you play Shizune's route they appear at the end, as the next Student Council.

[AntonSlavik020]

Honestly Aoi annoys me. I'm not a fan of original characters to begin with, but her personality just rubs me the wrong way about every way possible. I especially hated her when she refused to speak to Hisao at the store unless she had too. Saying that annoyed me is a massive understatement. There is literally nothing about her I like. Too be honest I don't really like Keiko very much either. From her driving to her general serious personality I don't like her either.

Aoi and Keiko aren't Original Characters.
If you play Shizune's route they appear at the end, as the next Student Council.

Oh OK. Doesn't change the fact I don't like them.

[ProfAllister]

Oh look, more discussion.

So, taking it from the top of this page:

There is no official update schedule. Initially, I was posting a new chapter once a week, and I would very much like to be able to get back to that point. However, as previously stated, that doesn't look like it will be happening in the near future. In the end, though, who knows?

The box IS the gift. The contents are irrelevant. (No, not really. ¬_¬)

On to characterisations - I want to tread lightly here, for fear of spoilers, but here goes.

As a preface, I spent entirely WAY too much time examining Misha (and Shizune) under a microscope before and during my writing. Everything they said and did in each route including (and this is an important one) subtle shifts in facial expressions and word choices. On the one hand, that can lead to reading WAY too much into certain details, but on the other, it allows for a very solid degree of internal consistency. Considering the major liberties I've taken with other aspects of the characters and stories, I figured that being as firmly grounded in the canon as possible would help shore up the core concepts.

The conventional wisdom is that Misha is good at hiding her emotions. I would say that is giving her too much credit and too little credit. She is good at hiding. She is loud, obnoxious, blind to social cues and has obnoxiously loud and elaborate hair. She is so striking that people do everything in their power to ignore her. Which suits her just fine. You could perhaps call it a "reverse-Hanako."

In Shizune's route, for the most part, Misha is a non-entity. In other routes as well. So much so that Misha's lecture in Emi's route is immediately dismissed as her repeating something told her by Shizune. Ostensibly, she plays the role of actual sign language interpreters, and is treated as if she simply doesn't exist. Remember, Hisao spends months hanging out almost exclusively with Misha and Shizune before it occurs to him that Misha is in fact a person.

This serves well from a narrative perspective. She opens up more not because there are walls that were broken down. Rather, there weren't really walls to begin with - just a smokescreen to keep anyone from looking too closely.

As for Misha's overlap with Shizune, that kind of falls into the same bucket. They aren't explicit about it, but there's a notable shift in how Shizune acts once there's a clear separation and Hisao starts interacting more closely with Shizune. As with the previous comment of Misha as a non-entity, people tend to assume that the actions of Mishizune are primarily Shizune, with little input from Misha. And, even that aside, Misha's had a lot of time for elements of Shizune to rub off on her. There's also the fact that you've only really seen post-Shizune Misha in the VN, with vague allusions to pre-Shizune Misha. That leaves quite the blank slate (into which you could add, for example, a history of competitive swimming). The only issue from that point is successfully tying pre-Shizune Misha and post-Shizune Misha together with a minimum of seams and loose ends.

On to Shizune herself...

I hate to disappoint you, but there's really not much I feel comfortable explaining on this detail right now. For the time being, the best I can do is ask that you wait patiently, with the understanding that I have made Shizune seem "off" intentionally, for reasons that should become clear in the future. And I do apologize for the lack of three-ways between Misha, Hisao, and Shizune. I enjoy those interactions as much as the next person, but the dictates of the narrative trump my desires. That's why Hisao going to the Track meet is still only a scene in my head, which may (if we're lucky) appear some day as a bonus one-shot.

So, unfortunately, I can't really give you the argument your concerns deserve. If you discuss this matter with the various other Shizune scholars around here, you may be able to hazard a guess, but I'm not saying anything more than I have already.

That being said, I can't really recall offhand the instances where Shizune was present, but not saying anything.

With regard to Aoi and Keiko, they aren't technically OCs, but there are exceedingly few lines related to the two of them. So they're as good as OCs. That being said, they've only had a couple vignettes in all of two chapters so far. There really isn't much more than a surface impression for the two of them at this point. Even at that, they're relatively peripheral characters, so they're likely going to end up with much more implied than specifically stated. Just the nature of the beast.