Hey, just thought I'd contribute my two cents. I've played most of all the characters' stories (still have Lilly's to finish...), and Hanako (also, interestingly, the captcha answer) was my favorite.
I saw the post, and noticed the "April Fools" title... but I think it would be a great benefit to everyone if the additional features were implemented. At least up to and including #3, exclusive merchandise; the discarding of save/load functionality is rather stupid and I couldn't care less about seeing "sponsored lines"... they make gameplay more fun, anyway!
It would be nice to see the 4LS team work on something like this, if they're not too occupied with other works. This has to be one of the most enjoyable games I have ever come across. The writers and artists (both visual and musical) did a superb job putting this all together.
Now, what would it take for you to make this come true?

Even if you don't care to continue working on the KS franchise, re-licensing the game removing the "no derivatives" part would allow other talented developers to implement these incredibly awesome-sounding features (though not for a price, assuming you keep the "noncommercial" part of the license). Don't make me get Misha and Shizune in here to convince you! hehe...
Until then, I guess I'll just have to keep re-playing Hanako's part over and over... She's such a sweet girl.
