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Re: Monomyth: Taro Arai's Story [Update: 15/7/15]

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 1:32 pm
by swampie2
Skipped the smut, but still enjoyed the rest.

Perhaps Rin is with Hisao? :wink:

Re: Monomyth: Taro Arai's Story [Update: 15/7/15]

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 3:08 pm
by Sharp-O
swampie2 wrote:Perhaps Rin is with Hisao? :wink:
As much as I'm loathe to say it, Hisao would probably be the better alternative to what I've written... :(

Re: Monomyth: Taro Arai's Story [Update: 15/7/15]

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 3:13 pm
by HoneyBakedHam
Oh geez, can't wait to see this...

Re: Monomyth: Taro Arai's Story [Update: 15/7/15]

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 3:49 pm
by swampie2
Sharp-O wrote:As much as I'm loathe to say it, Hisao would probably be the better alternative to what I've written... :(
Image

Re: Monomyth: Taro Arai's Story [Update: 15/7/15]

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 4:07 pm
by HoneyBakedHam
Lieutenant Dan x Emi confirmed :twisted:

Re: Monomyth: Taro Arai's Story [Update: 15/7/15]

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 4:41 pm
by Sharp-O
HoneyBakedHam wrote:Lieutenant Dan x Emi confirmed :twisted:
You're going to Hell and I'm going right along with you because I thought the exact same thing.

Re: Monomyth: Taro Arai's Story [Update: 15/7/15]

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 5:06 pm
by swampie2
Sharp-O wrote:
HoneyBakedHam wrote:Lieutenant Dan x Emi confirmed :twisted:
You're going to Hell and I'm going right along with you because I thought the exact same thing.
I've got my first class ticket straight to the fiery depths.

Re: Monomyth: Taro Arai's Story [Update: 15/7/15]

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 7:01 pm
by HoneyBakedHam
swampie2 wrote:
Sharp-O wrote:
HoneyBakedHam wrote:Lieutenant Dan x Emi confirmed :twisted:
You're going to Hell and I'm going right along with you because I thought the exact same thing.
I've got my first class ticket straight to the fiery depths.
Sorry, I got a reserved spot in Purgatory. I have that snowball for my chances to get to Heaven. :P

Monomyth: Taro Arai's Story [Update: 16/7/15]

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 8:26 pm
by Sharp-O
Chapter Twenty-Six: Craquelure Couleur

“What do you mean you can’t find Rin?” I quickly put some pants on in the bathroom before emerging to console the worried Emi. “Didn’t she go home to her parents’ or go with your for break.”

“No… I thought she was going home but her parents told me she stayed behind. I tried finding out where she was but the only person from the Art Club still here is Maeda and he wouldn’t tell me…” She idly swings her ‘normal’ leg prosthetics as she explains her dilemma. “Maybe she finally made up her mind about the exhibition…”

“What exhibition?” I ask, with a curious expression. It’s the first I’ve heard of it, but then I don’t hang out with Rin all that much unfortunately.

“Mr. Nomiya has a friend who owns a gallery in the city and he wanted to show off Rin’s work there. Rin met the lady and it seemed like she was keen to host it but needed more work out of Rin. At least, that’s how Rin kinda-sorta explained it…” Yeah, Rin’s explanations can be cryptic at best but it’s a start. Nomiya… What have you done this time? Ritsu reappears in some casual wear and I take a minute to think.

“If she’s doing extra work for the exhibition, she has to be doing it somewhere, right? I think I need to go have a word with Maeda.” I scratch my head in thought.

“But it didn’t seem like he knew anything.” Emi looks to me and I just give her a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry, Emi, this just requires an artist’s touch.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I feel the impact of the wall through Takashi Maeda’s body as I grip his collar tight.

“Tell me where Rin is!” I growl.

“I’d do it, Takashi… I don’t know if I could stop him when he’s like this…” Miki chimes in with an almost concerned tone, clearly playing the good cop. It’s a good thing I asked for her help tracking him down. I don’t think I could catch this slippery weasel on my best day, but one of the school’s star runners? He never stood a chance.

“I’m serious, the last time I saw Taro this pissed off was with the guy who sat in Hisao’s seat before him. They never did find out what happened to him, did they?” Okay, she’s going a little overboard now. You can't change the rules to bad cop, worse cop, Miki!

“Tell me what I want to know or I’ll make you eat that fucking beret.” I release the shaking Maeda and step back. I really hope he cracks because this tough guy act is playing havoc with my throat, not to mention I don’t think I’m the least bit intimidating.

“O-okay! I-I-I only know that the gallery is-is in the city and called 22nd Corner. Think the owner’s name is Saionji but that’s all I know, I s-swear!” He slides down the wall and curls up, no doubt expecting a beating. I nod to Miki and we walk off, leaving Maeda where we caught him. Once we’re out of ear-shot, Miki takes on a comedically hunched grumpy face.

“Oooooh, Angry Taro! Tell me where the girl is!” Miki laughs in between growling impressions of me and I can’t help but laugh along.

“Jeez, it wasn’t that bad, was it?” I wince a little.

“I didn’t know who was going to piss themselves first; Maeda in fear or me, trying to stop myself laughing.” She cackles. She’s got a real sadistic streak sometimes.

I shake my head with a smile. “Well, we’ve got a lead, that’s the main thing. Let’s go tell the others.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

How can I have lived near this city for three years and still get lost in it? We’ve been here for hours and I don’t think we’re any closer to finding this place.

“We should have beat some directions out of Maeda…” Miki laments.

“My legs hurt…” Emi whines and both Miki and I shoot looks at the tiny girl walking between us. She notices and folds her arms in a pout. “You know what I meant…”

“I think I see it, guys!” She announces, her hand cupped over her eyes as if it helped her see further.

I narrow my eyes when I see a corner shop with several large oblong shapes through the large windows. The red signage reads ‘22nd Corner’. Finally

Image
We jog over to the store and are met by a well-dressed woman in her mid-40’s, smoking a cigarette.

“Excuse me, are you the curator of this gallery? Ms. Saionji?” I ask, slightly out of breath.

“Yes I am, young man. How can I help you?” She smiles a little removing the cigarette from her mouth and folding her arms.

“Do you happen to know Rin Tezuka? We heard she was doing some work for your gallery.” Emi chimes in.

“The kitten? Are you friends of hers?” She asks, a slight scrutinizing gaze cast on our trio.

“Yeah, but we’ve not seen her in a while and we’re kind of worried…” I give a concerned look and she looks to the windows above her store.

“She’s been living in the Atelier for the past couple of weeks to work on her paintings. Apart from Shinichi, you’re her first visitors.” She explains. Shin--? Nomiya

“Is it okay to go up and see her?!” Emi jumps forward, taking the woman by surprise.

“Um, sure… Go ahead.” She gestures towards the entrance and Emi is the first to tear ass towards it, followed by Miki. I give a polite nod and follow. There’s a set of stairs running up to the first floor and a solitary door. Emi and Miki are already through it when I reach the top of the stairs.

[img]hhttp://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa129/Sharp-O/rin_loft_zps4n8ord9p.jpg[/img]
“…Rin.” Emi meekly calls out and I turn my attention to the solitary figure kneeling near a window. Is she drawing on the floor or… She turns her head to look at us, with a deeply forlorn expression and very noticeable bags under her eyes. The air is stale and dusty, there’s barely touched take-out meals scattered everywhere with almost as many canvasses in various stages of completion. This place is a sty and my heart sinks. This is how she’s been living here?

Hey.” Rin whispers before her whole body seems to crumple under it’s own weight and she falls forward face-first into the concrete. We all rush over and begin fussing over her. Emi rolls her onto her back and I instinctively close my eyes and turn my head when I see she’s only wearing an open shirt.

“Guys? Please tell me she’s breathing?” I ask into the darkness and there’s some fussing before Emi gives me an affirmative with a relieved sigh.

“I’ve covered her, Taro. You can look now.” Miki taps my shoulder and I cautiously do so. She looks like hell. Her hair is thick with grease and paint. Her face is pale, gaunt and filthy. I look around the room, there’s no way she’s been looking after herself while she’s been here. Oh god

“W-what do we do?” Emi’s voice quivers as she strokes Rin’s hair. I look to Miki who looks equally concerned.

“I… I think she needs to go to the hospital... Emi, look at me.” I turn to the worried girl to my left and rest my hand on her shoulder. “I need you to call an ambulance, me and Miki will get her… prepared and bring her downstairs. Can you do that?” I keep my voice as calm as I can and she nods reluctantly, pulling out her phone and heading for the door.

“Miki, can you… Um, put some pants on her and close up her shirt?” I ask with a blush. It’s stupid to be worried about modesty right now but I don’t feel right about manhandling an unconscious naked girl.

“You got it.” I get up and turn my back as Miki does her duty. Looking around again, I get a truer sense of the oppressive atmosphere. This isn’t a place for art, not my definition anyway. It lacks soul… Heart… Warmth. I remove my hoodie and hold it behind me toward the pair.

“It’s going to be chilly out there so put this on her too…” I feel the hoodie taken from me and, after some rustling, the zipper being pulled up. I peek over my shoulder to see Miki propping up Rin. I’ve never seen Rin as fragile. Confused, maybe. Eccentric, definitely but this… This breaks my heart.

“Let’s get moving. Rin? Can you hear me?” I wait for an answer and the silence makes my heart sink further. Miki grimaces and I take a deep breath to steel myself.

“You’ll be okay, Rin. I promise.” I hope she can hear me. Miki and I manage to carry Rin down the winding staircase just as the red flashing lights of the ambulance fill the evening sky. Rin is placed on a stretcher and bundled into the back of the ambulance. I give Emi a gentle push and she gets in with her friend.

“We’ll be there soon.” I smile reassuringly and Miki gives a small wave as the doors close and the ambulance drives away. As soon as it’s out of sight, I turn to Ms. Saionji, who looks quite shaken. There’s already two discarded cigarettes at her feet as she sups on a third.

“Why the fuck was no one watching her!?” I scream at the woman, who drops her cigarette.

“Shinichi a-assured me that he was bringing her m-meals everyday and telling her to t-take breaks…”

“But did he stay to make sure she DID? Did he make sure she ate, or showered, or even fucking SLEPT? Or was he too busy stroking his god damn ego at discovering a prodigy?” I glare, the burning anger in the back of my skull intensifying as I see his smug face in my mind. Ms. Saionji has no answers to give and just looks down.

“I hope your friend will be okay…” Ms. Saionji finally says quietly. I turn my head away from her in disgust and let out a long disgruntled groan while rubbing my face. Miki places her hand on my shoulder and squeezes it gently. Calm down, Taro. Anger’s not going to help you at the hospital. Think of Rin.

“C’mon, big guy. Shouldn’t keep the ladies waiting.” She smiles a little to reassure me. “You should let the others know what’s happening.”

I nod and fish out my phone to text and find I can’t do it. My thumb freezes. How do I even begin to explain what’s happened here? How do I tell them? I breath a heavy sigh and send out the shortest, plainest message I can muster.

[Taking Rin to hospital. Help.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author Notes: I know I've fudged the timing of these events a little compared to Rin's route but since we don't really hear ANYTHING about the exhibition in the other routes, it's safe to assume that, while it still happened, it probably played out differently.

Re: Monomyth: Taro Arai's Story [Update: 16/7/15]

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 8:42 pm
by AntonSlavik020
This took an interesting turn. Considering what Rin's neutral ending implies they may very well have saved her life.

And as a side note, after watching Kingsman I can't think of Emi without thinking of Sam Jackson's bodyguard, who as bladed prosthetic legs. Pretty awesome, if impractical.

Re: Monomyth: Taro Arai's Story [Update: 16/7/15]

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 9:57 pm
by swampie2
Sharp-O wrote: I feel the impact of the wall through Takashi Maeda’s body as I grip his collar tight.

“Tell me where Rin is!” I growl.
What happened between these two? This seems a little over the top to me.

Sharp-O wrote: “Why the fuck was no one watching her!?” I scream at the woman, who drops her cigarette.
Taro got some anger issues mang.

Aside from that, saddening chapter. Tasted of onions. Well written for sure.

Look forward to the next one still!

Re: Monomyth: Taro Arai's Story [Update: 16/7/15]

Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 10:28 pm
by Feurox
Here again, stop sucking me in Goddamn it.

Less constructive here this time, just wanted to express my adoration for this fic so far. The character of Taro has remained likable and fun to me which is nothing less than expected from your incredible writing talents. The story is pretty unpredictable and I certainly don't skim read when I check these out as you keep me interested the entirety of my time. I really respect the artwork you add to the story as it really helps visualize things, though you're writing is fantastic enough that it doesn't need it anyway.

Criticism ummm


UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Oh I know. That I don't have the sheer creative speed you have, how's that fair? :wink: Anyway keep it up, this is good stuff.

Re: Monomyth: Taro Arai's Story [Update: 16/7/15]

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2015 6:28 am
by Sharp-O
AntonSlavik020 wrote:This took an interesting turn. Considering what Rin's neutral ending implies they may very well have saved her life.
The Fray is playing in the background of that scene :) And I still need to see Kingsman!
swampie2 wrote:
Sharp-O wrote: I feel the impact of the wall through Takashi Maeda’s body as I grip his collar tight.

“Tell me where Rin is!” I growl.
What happened between these two? This seems a little over the top to me.
Full details will be revealed but Taro is mostly putting on an act here. He doesn't like Maeda but he wouldn't seriously hurt him unless pushed.
swampie2 wrote:
Sharp-O wrote: “Why the fuck was no one watching her!?” I scream at the woman, who drops her cigarette.
Taro got some anger issues mang.
I think this is a perfectly justified reaction after seeing what he just seen.
swampie2 wrote:Aside from that, saddening chapter. Tasted of onions. Well written for sure.

Look forward to the next one still!
You don't get to come over here with 'saddening chapter' after what you wrote about Misha, you monster :lol:
Feurox wrote:Here again, stop sucking me in Goddamn it.
I'll stop doing it when you stop loving it :wink:

But seriously, thanks for the kind words Feurox and your continued support! :D

Re: Monomyth: Taro Arai's Story [Update: 16/7/15]

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2015 7:03 am
by swampie2
Sharp-O wrote: You don't get to come over here with 'saddening chapter' after what you wrote about Misha, you monster :lol:
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Re: Monomyth: Taro Arai's Story [Update: 16/7/15]

Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2015 8:32 am
by Mirage_GSM
Wow, some serious Nomiya-bashing here.
While I agree he is not really empathetic towards Rin's feelings - though to be honest most people aren't - he is still a teacher and at a school like Yamaku. He would notice one of his students falling physically apart like this.
The scene you described is obvious to everyone stepping into the room and Nomiya has supposedly brought her meals every day.
Besides even if Rin skips a meal or a night of sleep or two, she is still basically able to care for herself or she'd be under heavier supervision.
This took an interesting turn. Considering what Rin's neutral ending implies they may very well have saved her life.
Not eating for days on end would be potentially fatal for anyone, but how was that foreshadowed in Rins 2nd bad end?