Katawa Shoujo Forums

Leaty wrote:Going back a little now to actually comment on the last update.

Eurobeatjester wrote:Also, Nurse is a fun character to write

Whoa-ho, not for me. Nurse is my fucking albatross.

Anyway, I enjoyed this update. It's hard to really find something to say about it, though, because (and I suppose I'll sound like a hack here,) there's no twist--I'm not really sure how this advances the plot, I guess. It's certainly well-written, as good as anything on this board or in the VN, but the thing about Hisao's encounter with Nurse here is that, while it's certainly interesting, it could also kinda be plopped into damn near anything. As you said, it's a small update. Honestly, I think you were too hasty to update. I have a feeling that you should have released this alongside the next update that you're planning.

I don't remember if I commented on the earlier scene you posted, but I liked it. I think the fact that Saki dated Takashi is interesting. The dialogue you have here is really fun, and I do like Chisato as a character.

I mean, I guess my problem is, these are your first scenes of Act Two, and when you're comparing it to the first scenes of the Act Twos in the VN, it's kind of, well, uneventful. I mean, look at the first scene of Shizune's Act Two, where she and Hisao have that long intimate conversation in text for the first time in the history of their relationship. Emi's route has that really intense, lusty running scene in the beginning. But, I'm not seeing the intimacy between Saki and Hisao yet. I mean, compared to how he is in Emi or Shizune's routes, Hisao doesn't really seem that attracted. There isn't, like, any kind of emotional intensity yet, or even any physical attraction. I mean, to put it bluntly, Hisao doesn't seem to want to fuck Saki nearly as much as I'd think he would by now.

I still think the writing is great, and I'm still totally on board with it, and I'm super appreciative of the research and effort you've been putting in. I'm just doing my best to articulate my thoughts and forge some constructive criticism from them. I'm sure you've already thought most of these things through yourself.

Sorry I took so long with this feedback. I've been kind of messed up these past few weeks.

Wanted to wait until I had a full night's sleep to reply to this

The point of the scene was to push Hisao into another form of exercise, and a way to do something with Saki. In all the other routes except Emi's, he really doesn't do anything (and in Rin's route gets worse IMO) and he has an issue with his heart in most of them. I know it's because every author wrote their path differently, but I personally think that it's very possible that it correlates. That's what I liked best about Emi's route - it's the only one where Hisao's health actually improved.

Once I started writing it got longer, along with a bit more explanation about his medications and conditions because so much of that was lacking in the original game. And you're right - it probably could be put anywhere, which is why I put it here. I was planning on having the Nurse suggest and/or chew out Hisao about swimming.

I'm glad you like Chisato. I remember you and a few others mentioning you couldn't get a real read on the supporting characters yet, and I tried to correct that a bit, which ties into my next comment.

Regarding the story not being eventful enough, I think part of that comes from the fact that Saki hasn't had as much exposure as the other girls did in the canon game by this point. I did write her into a handful of scenes in Act 1, but you still spend more time with all the original girls in Act 1, no matter which one you actually end up with. The only other completed route I've read has been Rikabro's route, and he starts off in Act 2 with the same eventfulness that you would find in the VN. There's a whole history with the two that you just take as granted for being there without seeing anything that led up to it. I didn't want to write myself into a corner that way, because I thought it was very important to establish how and under what circumstances everyone met, since the game makes a big deal of it.

I see what you're saying about feeling attracted, even if the language is a bit blunt. But that will be fixed in the next update

Sooner rather than later, hopefully!

I don't actually mind music and pictures in these sort of stories. In fact, if I really like one, I find an appropriate track from my massive YouTube playlist of assorted music and just cycle along. I find it difficult to truly immerse myself in any story, so I just read for the plot

But yeah, posting links to pictures and music as opposed to directly in the thread may be a good compromise.

Just finished reading your story (or what you have written of it) this evening, and I am very much liking it. More than that, though, you seem like a very likeable person, easy to get along with. I may be kind of petty this way, but author personality has a bit of an influence on how my perception of their writing is colored. I'm impressed by the amount of research and work you've already put into your story, and it's still just the beginning of Act 2! I only caution you against burning yourself out too fast, too soon. From what I've gathered, your work isn't exactly tater tot sundays at the Robinson home, so I hope you're not losing sleep over the story. I don't want to come off as patronizing, because I really think you're a stand-up guy and really respect the dedication you have to ensuring an accurate product. In fact, your drive is serving to inspire me towards my own planned fic, and I'm a terrible procrastinator.

Now, on to the story itself: I love your characters, and your characterizations of existing ones are pretty spot on from what I could tell. I was subconsciously expecting a reference to Kagami from forgetmenot's pseudo-route (another story I enjoy), as you mentioned three violinists. The Act 1 scenes were beautifully written, and I would be lying if I said I don't have a tiny little crush on your Saki.
I'm going to refrain from comparing your route to the other Saki route on the forum, as I'm certain you've had enough of that, haha.

I eagerly look forward to the next part. Cheers!

Solistor wrote:Just finished reading your story (or what you have written of it) this evening, and I am very much liking it. More than that, though, you seem like a very likeable person, easy to get along with. I may be kind of petty this way, but author personality has a bit of an influence on how my perception of their writing is colored. I'm impressed by the amount of research and work you've already put into your story, and it's still just the beginning of Act 2! I only caution you against burning yourself out too fast, too soon. From what I've gathered, your work isn't exactly tater tot sundays at the Robinson home, so I hope you're not losing sleep over the story. I don't want to come off as patronizing, because I really think you're a stand-up guy and really respect the dedication you have to ensuring an accurate product. In fact, your drive is serving to inspire me towards my own planned fic, and I'm a terrible procrastinator.

Now, on to the story itself: I love your characters, and your characterizations of existing ones are pretty spot on from what I could tell. I was subconsciously expecting a reference to Kagami from forgetmenot's pseudo-route (another story I enjoy), as you mentioned three violinists. The Act 1 scenes were beautifully written, and I would be lying if I said I don't have a tiny little crush on your Saki.
I'm going to refrain from comparing your route to the other Saki route on the forum, as I'm certain you've had enough of that, haha.

I eagerly look forward to the next part. Cheers!

Thank you Those are some very high compliments. Don't worry, I don't plan on burning myself out, which is probably why it takes me so long to update. I just can't sit down and force myself to write or keep a schedule. I have to be in the mood to get out what I want or nothing comes out right and I'll delete entire pages that can't be salvaged, even with an outline. I know I'll at least hit the major plot points I want to get out in a chapter, but I just get so unhappy with the way it comes out.

I'm not losing sleep, but I'll admit that more than once I'll be at work or at home not working on the story and a thought will pop into my head and I'll just have to go "Holy shit, I need to write this down RIGHT NOW." And I will, since I have a notepad with me just to write down all the random stuff that I think about, KS related or no. It's been a big help.

Also, I need to up the pace of my writing because another piece of artwork is nearly finished (should be another day or two) and I'm not at the point of the story where it's relevant yet

Hooray! Even though I wasn't able to get a full chapter out before I had to go back to work after recovering from my injury, I did get most of it done before then. Here's the chapter I was going to include with the previous update, but since the setting and tones were quite different, I split them up. The combined chapter would have also been very long, and since it would take place over two separate days, I felt it didn't coincide with the feel of KS. The only time a scene carries over from one day to the next that I can recall is when he stays out all night with Rin.

I'm also trying something out in this chapter. I'm including an image of the pool area, but only one. If it's too jarring or doesn't go over well (such as people feeling it needs to be behind a link, or it's not needed at all) I'll figure out a different solution.

I tried to find a musical piece that fit this chapter since I originally wanted all the scenes to be song titles or lyrics, but I couldn't pass up naming this scene after one of the funniest Bill Murray movies ever made

As of now, this fic is at 12k views and just shy of 38,000 words. It's gone better than I could have ever hoped, and I thank every one of you for reading!

Act 2: Countdown

Scene 3: The Life Aquatic

Standing in front of the mirror, looking at myself, I'm still not entirely sure how I got talked into this.

The room is typical of what I imagine most locker rooms are like. It's fairly small, a little larger than the size of one of Yamaku's normal restrooms but much smaller than the one on my floor in the dorm. There's two standard stalls, two showers, and the row of sinks along one wall. The lighting always seems to be perpetually dim, despite the glare of the fluorescent tubing. The floor is made up of tiles which always feel damp. They constantly feel cold against bare feet, until you step on one of the several metal grates spread around and realize how cold the floor really is.

There's also the smell. It's a musty mixture of chlorine, disinfectant, and moisture. You never find that smell anywhere else.

One wall has a bank of lockers, about half of which have locks on them. I found one that was unused, and stored the clothes I had changed out of when I came here.

Nurse and Saki both seemed right about not many people using the pool this time of day. I haven't seen anyone in the men's locker room. The only sound is the loud hum of an exhaust fan somewhere in the ceiling.

So here I stand, in my standard track outfit. Red shorts that don't even come down to mid thigh, and a white ringer shirt edged with red. The last time I wore this, it didn't go so well.

Towel slung over my shoulder, hair still a mess, I have to admit it; I look kind of ridiculous.

Part of me wants to just blow this off. But I did make a promise to Nurse, and when it comes to him, I have the feeling that the walls have eyes. I wouldn't be surprised if he knows everything that happens in this school. He may have spotted me at the festival himself, but I'm not taking any chances.

Besides, the sleeping pills did help me last night. I didn't get any more sleep than I usually do, but the quality of the sleep improved. There's still a few cobwebs in my head, but I'm sure those will clear the second I hit the water.

Steeling myself, I walk down the short hallway and down half a dozen stairs into the pool room. The walls open around me, and I get my first look at the area.

The room is rather large, probably about four to five times the size of my classroom. Painted cinder-block walls brace up several wide windows near the roof, letting in enough natural light to soften the harsh tones of the ever-present artificial glow from the fixtures over my head.

The pool itself fills most of the room, dark tile lines designating lanes across the blue bottom. Stairs on one end are bracketed by silver handrails, and the other end has some sort of strange contraption with a plastic seat attached to a bunch of hydraulics. It doesn't seem that deep, only about a meter and a half or so. There's also a small hot tub behind it near the wall.

I never went to many pools as a kid, but this pool looks like it's designed more for swimming laps. I guess it would be a very bad thing if the students that used it couldn't touch the bottom. I get a mental image of Emi trying to tread water and I snicker before I can help myself.

I'm the only one here at the moment. I know Saki comes here in the mornings since I've run into her a few times on her way back, but right now the time is a bit later than when we've met up, so I assume I already missed her.

It's not like I'm avoiding her for this. I didn't see her yesterday after my appointment with Nurse, but...

I look down to my shirt, pinching the fabric over my scar and pulling it out away from me. This stretches the neck out far enough where I can see the ugly raised scar that invades the surrounding skin.

I'm not sure I want to even take the shirt off yet. It may seem silly when you're swimming by yourself, but there's no guarantee that someone couldn't be walking in. And then it would seem even more strange to be seen by someone swimming by myself with my gym shirt on.

I sigh. No. Not yet. I can't do it yet.

I make my way down to the stairs and place my towel on a hook fastened into the wall for that very purpose. Turning to face the water, I place my hand on one of the railings and dip my foot in.

It's cool. Not cold, but cool. Any colder and it would send a shiver up my spine, but this...this is nice.

I slowly take a few steps in the pool, the water rising up my calves, knees, thighs...

Uh-oh.

As soon as the water hits the bottom of my shorts, I realize that I've made a horrible mistake. The fabric soaks up water almost as fast as I can blink, the coldness marching up my thighs all the way to my waistband. The entire shorts are soaked and I've only barely dipped them a few centimeters into the water.

That's not the worst part though. The worst part is that when the fabric becomes wet, it becomes clingy. Swim trunks have netting that...holds everything in place. Gym shorts...do not. And given that I treated these as swim trunks and didn't wear anything underneath...

Yeah. There's more than one reason I'm glad I'm the only one here.

Let's get this over with.

I swiftly half-fall, half-leap forward into the water, submerging myself completely and kicking off towards the far end of the pool. I'm down near the bottom, completely weightless as I propel myself forward, the surface of the water above me refracting light as the ripples from my entry spread out ahead of me.

I try to see if I can make it all the way to the other end of the pool. No chance. I shoot towards the surface, breaking clean and taking in a few huge gulps of air. I brush my hair back out of my face, and notice with shock that I didn't even make it halfway through the pool. With my feet on the bottom, the water comes up to my chest, and I can feel how heavy the shirt is once it's soaked.

I could blame that pitiful swim on the weight and drag, but deep down, I know that's not the case.

I let my legs go slack and I sink deeper into the water until I'm treading it. I could just float like this for a while, but the clock on the wall says that I don't have much time before I have to leave. I should probably do a few laps and ease into it. At least with the track I had Emi to guide me. Here, I'm on my own.

How hard can it be? I've seen it enough whenever the Olympics are on.

With another breath, I continue splashing down the length of the pool in what I hope is decent form like what I've seen on television. My arms windmill and push me forward, my legs kicking in time behind me. In what seems like no time at all, my hand slaps the concrete at the edge of the pool with a sting, causing me to turn around and push off the wall. I make the journey back, the bellows of my breathing the only sound in my waterlogged ears.

Keep at it.

One full lap. Let's go for another.

...

Two full laps. My lungs are burning from the effort. This is harder than I thought it would be, but this time I can pace myself instead of trying to race someone.

...

Three laps. Am I starting to get this tired already?

...

Four laps, and I'm already breathing almost as hard as I was on my run with Emi. I come to a stop and place a hand on my chest. My heart is beating faster and harder, but it's steady. Any more than this though, and I'd be pushing it.

That should be enough, at least for now. Maybe if I come back later in the week, I can do a few more.

I stretch out on my back and float on the surface, feeling my heartbeat slowly return to normal as my body relaxes. This is so much better than running. When you get tired, you don't have to hold up the weight of your body or worry about overheating. There's a lot more prep work than with running, since you have to have a set of clothes merely to get from the dorm to the pool, unless you change into your school uniform in the locker room. Plus you'd have to carry everything you need to take a shower like soap and-

“Hisao? Is that you?”

(continued...)

Both the voice itself and the fact it's calling my name startle me out of my thoughts. I instinctively try and sit upright, however with nothing underneath me, my body folds and my head goes under. There's a second of panic as my sinuses fill with chlorinated water, and I finally get my feet under me. I start coughing the second my head breaks the surface.

My hand goes to my nose as I blow it to try and clear it. Damn, that stings...

“Are you alright?” the voice says again, from behind me.

“Y...yeah, I'm fine,” I manage to splutter out as I turn to find the source of it, slicking my hair back again to try and regain some of my lost dignity. I have another shock when I see who it is...and what she looks like.

“Saki? What are you doing here?”

Saki stands at the bottom of the stairs leading down into the pool area, with a bemused look on her face. Her hair, nearly blonde in the morning light, is pulled back into a ponytail high on the back of her head, causing the honey colored strands to brush just past the nape of her neck. She's wearing a black one-piece with design more for utility than fashion with a higher neckline, but still a very fitting cut that hugs every curve of her body. Even though the amount of light it drinks doesn't allow for more than a suggestion of the figure beneath, her long shapely legs are on full display, a set of black sandals on her feet.

That she's holding her cane as usual in one hand and draping a towel over the other arm does nothing to detract from how amazing she looks.

I take a second...okay, maybe a bit more than a second...to take it in. I've never seen her in anything but her normal school uniform, and to go from that to this...it's more than a little alluring. The sudden, quick flush I feel despite the coolness of the water is proof of that.

“I was about to ask you the same thing,” she says, after a very short, yet very poignant pause. That snaps me back to reality, and with horror I just know that she saw me staring. And then with even more terror, I realize her eyes are giving me the same appraisal, but I can't read anything but mild surprise as they widen.

“Are those...is that a track outfit?”

This is the first time she's seen me in anything different. And I'm sure the outfit and circumstances are leaving an absolutely wonderful impression.

“Y-yeah,” I reply nervously. “You see, Nurse said I should get some exercise and running with Emi didn't work out so he told me I should go swimming-” and I realize I'm rushing to explain because I'm embarrassed that you just caught me gawking at you and this is me trying desperately to take both our minds off it but I don't think it's working “-but I don't own anything to swim in so I thought I could just swim in this until I was able to get something...”

I stop to take a breath, and she's laughing. Not just the light airy laugh I've come to know from her the last week, but a hard laugh that causes her to clutch at her stomach and lean over, almost in a way I would expect of Misha. I'm left with a look of pure confusion, because I don't know why she's laughing or what her laughter is directed at.

“Nurse put you up to this?”

“He didn't put me up to it, he blackmailed me into it,” I say defensively.

“I did warn you,” Saki admonishes, her glee showing no signs of fading, “that he has a reputation around here.”

“No kidding,” I agree dejectedly, sinking down into the water up to my chin trying to make myself as small as possible. Saki's laughter finally dies down as she hangs up her towel, taking something small and black from its folds that I didn't notice earlier. She makes her way to the edge of the pool, sitting down with her legs dangling in the water.


<<Art by Omnirhythm>>

“Why are you here?” I ask. “I mean, I know you try to go swimming every morning but I thought you would have been done by now.”

“Chisato and I didn't get back from town until late last night,” she offers as explanation. She places her cane down on the concrete and shakes out the small black bundle.

It's a swim cap.

“I slept in a little too late. I guess I'm still tired from the festival,” she admits, taking her tail and stuffing it into the cap with the ease of repetition. She pulls it from the back of her head to the front, snapping it down just below her hairline. A quick smooth motion with her fingers to tuck in the sides, and her hair is completely hidden underneath.

Saki pushes off with her hands and slides into the pool with barely a splash, sinking up to her neck. When she stands back up, the fabric of her suit has gotten even darker if such a thing were possible, and beads of water that haven't been absorbed are dripping down her arms and the curves of her chest.

She looks good, I know she looks good, and she knows I know she looks good.

“What?” Saki asks innocently, but the mischievous glint in her eyes gives her away. It's very similar to the same look she gave me from the stairs the first day I met her, or the one she gave me when I asked her about her condition at the festival.

It's a look made up of equal parts self satisfaction, curiosity, and encouragement.

It's a look that places all the attention in the world on you, as if to say “Now, what will you do?” And unlike with Shizune, the unspoken question doesn't seem to challenge, but to encourage you to push your own comfort zones and boundaries to respond.

I'm wearing gym clothes in a pool being interrogated by a beautiful girl in a swimsuit who knows she's having an effect on me, and enjoying it.

This is about as far out of my comfort zone as I can be.

“Just wondering why you decided to put a cap on.”

I used an entire weeks worth of mental focus to be able to get those words out in a steady voice. My mind is sending me panic signals telling me there's no batter on deck. If she were to counter, I would have nothing left.

Saki has me dead to rights, and to my relief, she decides to let it go and answer my question without appearing to give it a second thought.

“Ugh, and have to deal with chlorine in my hair every day? Swimming once or twice a week is fine, but when you do it every day it damages your hair, and besides, the shampoo I like is way too expensive to use for that.”

“Oh,” I say, leaning back to float. If I make a habit of this in the morning, I wonder if I'll run into the same problem. Just another ball to juggle in my head.

“So how did Nurse get you to do this?” Saki asks me, stretching from side to side.

“He told me he'd tattle on me if I didn't get any exercise, then they'd have to put me in therapy,” I say darkly. I mean, logically everything he said made perfect sense, but it just doesn't sit right.

“Therapy's not so bad. I go twice a week. That's what they use that room for,” Saki explains, nodding towards a set of windows opposite where the sun is shining. “It's not exactly fun, but you do what you have to.”

I look down at my shirt, the neckline of which is already stretching due to the weight of the water it's soaked up. I guess we do, don't we?

“You have therapy, you have art club, you have band, and you still find time to swim every morning,” I comment. “Where do you find the time to do all this?”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm doing horribly in all my classes,” she says while laughing. “I know Mutou and Miyagi have completely given up on me, and so have most of my other teachers, I think. There's only so many hours in a day, and I spend enough of them sitting behind a desk, so I don't really study that hard.”

I watch her as she starts to tread water. “How do you pick and choose your priorities? I mean, you have a lot on your plate. I don't think I would have even done this if I wasn't pressured into it.”

“I just do the things that I'm good at and help me to be happy,” she answers, as if it's the most natural thing in the world. Hearing someone dismiss all responsibility like that is rather shocking. “I spend more time after school in the music room now with Mrs. Sakamoto. I think even Nomiya's had it with me too since I missed the last few art club meetings.”

I can understand the violin, because she's absolutely amazing at it. The swimming, however, kind of puzzles me. She mentioned she goes to therapy during the week, so why does she swim every day?

“You spend a lot of time swimming too. I mean, that doesn't look like a cheap suit and I don't think I've ever known anyone who had their own cap.”

“Why thank you. You're right about the suit. Not many people can tell just from a...look.”

Oh damnit. My face turns red. She didn't let me off the hook after all.

“Alright,” I say, rubbing my temples in embarrassed exasperation. “Yes, I was looking, okay? I'm sorry.”

“Don't be,” she replies in a light, airy tone. “It's actually kind of flattering. It's nice to see someone not focusing on the cane for once,” she finishes with a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth.

I shouldn't be surprised at that statement, but I am. Because first of all, this is Yamaku, and second of all, anyone who would see her like this probably wouldn't even notice she had a cane...

I need to change the subject.

“How do you manage to have any free time?” I ask in an attempt to do just that.

“I don't, really,” she answers, her voice a little more resigned. “Between the violin and the art club and everything else, well...I don't have as much time as I want.”

I don't have as much time as I want.

Something about the way she said that seems...off. I don't know why, and if you asked me to explain it, I couldn't. There may have been a subtle tone shift in her voice, or her eyes flickered away from mine for a second when she said it, or her shoulders might have sagged ever so slightly.

And then, something in my mind clicks.

Every little bit of information I've learned so far about Saki has been painting a picture. I haven't actively thought about it much, since it's been like putting a puzzle together when you can't see the printed sides of the pieces or even know how many pieces there are. But just for a second, hearing those words and the way she says them gives me a glimpse at what those pieces represent.

I don't have as much time as I want.

As long as I can play the violin, I'm happy.

I'm here because I have a degenerative disorder.

I take medications that help with the symptoms, but no cure.

I don't know anything about the condition she has. But I've done enough reading, spent enough time in the hospital, to know what the word degenerative means. The conversation flowed so smoothly when she mentioned it at the festival that I didn't think on it when she said it.

It's not going to get better.

I feel an emotion I haven't felt since I was in the hospital, the second day after my surgery. I was finally coherent enough to listen to what the doctor had to say. My parents stood off to the side for support, but it just felt like they were watching my reactions. As the man in the white coat calmly spoke about arrhythmia, heart attacks, surgery, and what it meant for someone's life expectancy, it was like I wasn't even there.

I was watching it from far away. I was standing in the room, next to my parents, listening as this man had to explain to this young kid in a hospital bed why his life as he knew it was over.

Poor kid.

(continued...)

I've been angry and sad at the world the last few months, and I've also been angry at and sad for myself as well. But I wouldn't have described any of what I felt as pity. And that's exactly what I feel now.

I hate myself when that feeling is applied to me. I hate myself even more when I apply it to others.

Saki must have picked up on the silence, if not the reason for it. She jars me out of my thoughts.

“So Hisao, did you do much swimming before you came to Yamaku?”

“Not much,” I thankfully answer. “There was a public pool near where I lived, but it was always crowded. I didn't really go that much.”

“What about the beach?” Saki asks, her eyes brightening as she mentions it.

“I've only been once, when I was really little. We took a day trip and enjoyed it. Mom had always said we would go back, but it never happened and when they both got promotions a few years ago, there just wasn't any time.”

“It's a lot of fun, you should go again if you ever get the chance,” Saki says, swimming backwards away from me towards the far end of the pool. She glances up at the clock near the end. “I hate to be rude, but I really need to try and get in a few laps this morning before class...”

“Oh, don't mind me,” I say, making sure to move off towards one side so she has plenty of room. Saki smiles at me, and suddenly, there's a series of splashes as she takes off towards the opposite end. She reaches it there much faster than I did, and I don't think it's just because she's wearing a swimsuit while I'm wearing something much heavier.

I watch her as she moves, turning around and kicking back. There's the same type of grace she has when walking, only magnified. There's a purpose in her movements, and an elegance in the way she glides through the water. Even if I had proper attire, there's no way I would be able to do that.

Whether it's machismo or embarrassment, I decide I've spent enough time looking at Saki in her swimsuit for now and try to get a few more laps in. I start paddling for the far end of the pool.

…

Saki completes a dozen laps in the time it takes me to do another four. The last two really caught me breathing hard, but I know that's no excuse for me being completely outpaced.

“You'll never be able to keep up if you keep wearing that!” Saki says playfully as she sits on the pool stairs, most of her body out of the water. She kicks a leg at me, splashing me. “We'll have to get you something when we go to the city. We're still on for that, right?”

Ah, the city! I was so preoccupied with everything else going on this morning it totally slipped my mind.

“Absolutely. What day were you thinking?”

“This weekend. There's a few other things we need to do though while we're there...I hope you don't mind?” Saki asks tentatively.

“Like what?” I say, guardedly. I'm game for anything, but Saki and Chisato like to tease me enough when we get together here at the school. The thought of the two of them doing it away from the school and me a captive audience...

“We're going with Mrs. Sakamoto. We're working on...well, there's a project.” she explains, enthusiastic but just a bit...embarrassed? No, that's not quite right...but it's a little uncharacteristic.

“What kind of project?”

“It's...music related,” Saki hesitantly offers, standing up out of the pool completely, water streaming off her pale legs. “Ms. Sakamoto is helping us, um...record some stuff.”

This sparks my interest. “What, like for an album?” I ask as Saki grabs her towel and starts to dry herself off.

“No. Yes. Well, maybe. We haven't really decided yet.” she says, avoiding my eyes as she works the rough fabric over her skin. I don't think I've ever seen her uncomfortable like this, but then again she was the one who brought it up.

I have my own struggles that I have a hard time discussing. I don't have any idea as to why, but I'm getting this exact same vibe from Saki at the moment. I can't relate to the reason, but I can definitely relate to that feeling.

She'd probably continue on if I pressed the issue, but I can tell she doesn't really want to. It's probably best to leave it be for now.

“Sounds like fun,” I say, trying to cheer her up the same way she's done with me. “So, we're making a day of it then?”

My words have the desired effect as her face returns to its normal thousand watt smile. “Yeah. It will be you, me, Mrs. Sakamoto, Chisato, and Noriko if she wants to come. We'll do what we need to, go shopping, then probably all have dinner together before coming back to the school. How's that sound?”

I didn't expect that there was going to be a teacher chaperoning us, but despite that it does sound like a good time. I'm looking forward to it, but for a spur of the moment excursion on my part, it's starting to sound like it may be a bit pricey. My parents do send me an allowance, but since I just got here I haven't had a chance to start saving some of it away.

“Well,” I start, rubbing the back of my neck. “I guess it depends on how much a set of swim trunks costs. Plus I need to buy the stuff for the fish, so money might be a bit tight...”

“Hey, I gave you the bowl and everything he needs,” Saki says. “You just need to get some food and things for his water.”

I make my way to the stairs at the end of the pool and start to drag myself out. “Look, I'm sorry, but I just can't deal with that pink. I can deal with only being able to afford instant ramen if I have to.”

At this, Saki lets out a chortle but quickly stifles it. “I think it's a great color! But yeah, I guess the pink gravel's just not manly enough, is it?” she says, looking at me with a twinkle in her eyes and her hand hiding her mouth. I can see her shoulders shaking as she's trying not to burst out again.

Seeing as how I'm drenched in a track outfit that's absorbed so much water it's stretching out to half again its normal size on my frame, I'm sure I'm exuding the absolute essence of what it means to be manly.

Roll with it.

“Of course,” I say. “He needs something like black, or grey, or red. Power colors. If someone finds him, I at least want them to be impressed. Maybe I'll get into less trouble.” My words, spoken proudly, are punctuated by the loud splattering of very fat water droplets practically streaming off me and onto the floor.

Saki loses her fight to maintain her composure and doubles over, laughing hard. She ends up sitting on one of the benches near her for support.

I try to keep up the bravado as I make bold, confident strides towards my towel hanging on the rack, but the corners of my mouth are quivering, threatening to split into a grin at any moment at how absurd it all is.

“Alright,” Saki says, brushing a small tear out of the corner of her eye and trying to breathe normally. “We'll make sure to get him something that won't embarrass you.”

While we're on the subject of embarrassing, the cold air against my thighs makes me remember what gym shorts do when wet. Thank god I've already got my towel in my hand and my shirt has stretched down past my waist. I know I look ridiculous, but well...let's just say it could be worse.

“Speaking of manly, have you figured out what kind of swim trunks you're planning to get?” Saki asks.

Jesus, how does she do that?

“No...” I say, toweling off my hair, hoping to hide my face for the few seconds it will take to get my blushing under control. “Probably just something standard.”

“You know,” she says, “it can be pretty important if you're going to be doing this often. The same company that makes my suit makes one for guys too.”

I glance over Saki again without trying to make it too obvious. “Does it fit like yours?”

“Maaaaybe,” she answers me with that casual teasing tone. I imagine myself trying to swim in something that basically resembles a pair of briefs...and it's not a good image.

“I'll pass, thanks. I have enough issues with my self image.”

“You're not that bad,” Saki says, eyeing me up and down and being completely unashamed of doing it. But then again, I did give her an excuse. “Well, for someone who just spent a few months in the hospital anyway.”

“It's not like I had a say in it,” I reply sardonically. As soon as I say it, I wince. That came out a bit harsher than I thought it would. “Sorry.”

“No, I mean it,” Saki reiterates. “Were you in any sports clubs before you came here?”

“I played soccer with some friends once in a while...”

“Well don't worry. You look fine. Swim for a few weeks and you're only going to look better.”

“Emi said the same thing about running,” I answer, reaching down to dry off my legs. Seeing as how there's still water dribbling off of my shorts, it seems a bit futile.

“Oh come on,” Saki playfully says. “You know running isn't exactly my thing, so how do you think I'm able to keep this amazing body?” she asks, twisting towards me seductively, pushing her chest out and running a hand down her thigh. As she finishes those words, she also lowers her eyelids in a sultry stare.

The effect is instantaneous. I'm not sure what happens first, either my eyes going wide or my face turning as red as my track shorts.

Saki breaks the spell just as fast as she casts it, laughing at my reaction, her cheeks flushed. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry!”

Do that again without me expecting it and you may just give me another heart attack. “You do know exactly what you're doing, don't you?”

She takes the swim cap off and shakes her head, causing her ponytail to spring free. A few stray strands have come out giving her a slightly disheveled look, but it's one she wears very well.

“Yep.” she affirms. “Told you I have no shame.” She starts to towel off her arms. “But swimming really does work well for me. I need something that works out the full body, and this is a lot more fun than lifting weights or doing situps.” Saki turns completely towards me and makes eye contact, with the same seriousness she pinned on me at the festival. “You really should stick with it.”

I think about it for a moment.

“You do this every morning, huh?” I ask.

“Mhmm,” she affirms again, looking at me with a slight hint of expectancy.

I think about it for another moment. An extremely short moment.

“Alright, if you can put up with me wearing this until this weekend,” I say, looking down at my shirt. I can see the color of my skin in a few areas where the wet fabric rests against my body, but the scar on my chest fortunately isn't raised enough to be seen like that.

“Good!” Saki says, reaching down to her left side, then frowning in puzzlement. She looks at the floor around her, then over towards the edge of the pool where her cane is still laying on the ground. “Oh shoot, I left it over there...Hisao, can you please get my cane for me?”

“Sure,” I say, draping my towel over my shoulders. I stand up and walk over to it, bending down to retrieve it. By the time I make it back to where Saki is, she's already standing with her sandals on.

“Thanks,” she says, taking it from me. “Ugh, I'm going to have to go straight from here to class. I hate it when I have to do that.”

A quick glance at the clock at the far end of the room confirms that I'll have to be moving really fast to make it myself. I mentally start counting the time in my head. A few minutes to dry off and change, then across to the dorm to change into my school uniform, but that doesn't leave any time for a shower...

“Crap,” I mention. “First time doing this, I didn't bring my uniform with me. I still need to run back.”

“You better get going then,” Saki says, as we walk back towards the entrance of the locker rooms as quickly as we can safely manage with the wet floor and her cane. When we reach it and climb the small stairway, Saki stops and turns to face me.

“Bright and early tomorrow then?” she asks.

“Bright and early,” I reply. I shouldn't have any problem getting to bed early tonight, as the only thing I really need to do is go see Nurse again and let him know how this morning went.

And I can tell him that it went surprisingly well.

With a final wave to each other, she turns away and I do the same. The cold tile is under my feet as I round the corner in a few long strides, and I'm frantically stripping down to finish drying before I'm even in front of the locker I stashed my clothes in. I towel myself off furiously, trying to make sure I get everything dry enough to not have my clothes stick to me when I put them on.

It only takes a few minutes before I'm dressed in very casual clothing. All I could think to grab was normal pants and an undershirt. It may not have been a problem walking to the pool because it was so early, but now with students and faculty walking around campus because class is about to start, I'm sure to get a few strange looks.

Eh, let them look. If Nurse has as many spies around the school as everyone thinks he does, then word should get back to him and he won't be able to doubt me.

That settles it. Tomorrow, I'm bringing my uniform and just showering here. If nobody uses the pool this time of day, then I know I won't run into Kenji or anyone else who might use the shared dorm bathroom.

I brought a plastic bag to carry my wet clothing back to the dorm, so I hastily wrap the shirt and shorts into the towel and stuff the whole bundle inside. Maybe one of my undershirts would be better for this, or I might just go shirtless in the morning.

Yeah, right.

Regardless of what I decide to do about the shirt, I don't have any options about the track shorts until I can buy a suitable replacement, so I resign myself to wearing them again the next day.

But I'm definitely going to be wearing something underneath them.

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Threw something together really fast for this newest chapter (using parts from other fan art, as well as your background image file above):


That aside, great update as always EBJ. Love the story, and this whole chapter had me in giggles.

I appreciate that you like the chapter, and thanks for taking the time to make the image That was fast

Regarding the artist of that artwork (not using his name), him and I don't really see eye to eye for a variety of reasons (If I'm not allowed to mention this, mods, please PM me and I'll remove it)

This guy has decided that he's going to actively and knowingly ignore the KS license and modify the original game to include his own Rika and Saki routes. In citing inspiration, he linked both my Saki route and Rikabro's Rika route in his blog.

A few days later he posted a picture of his version of Saki and titled it Learning to Fly. I mentioned this to him on his deviantart, and he denied knowing anything about my route - despite linking it in his blog.

Go figure.

Just wanted to mention here for anyone that has doubts because of this, I'm flattered he likes my route, but I do not approve of what he's doing and I'm not in any way associated with this project of his.

Yes, I know of him. And I agree with as much as you said. Likely, his project will fall through from what I've seen so far, but in the meantime he's pretty blatantly ignoring intellectual property and copyright laws.

As for the speed of my work, thank you kindly. The artwork of Saki, you'll notice was patched from a DA user I'm certain you know (again, no names here for the very same reason as you).

This chapter had me torn. It was full speed ahead in one direction, and somber/depressing in the other. Well done, but I personally don't stomach the dissonance well. That's my problem, though, not yours.

Things are coming together well, keep up the good work!

Bit surprised to learn that Saki gets bad grades, I had her pinned as a solid B and C student, nothing remarkable but nothing bad. I liked the humor, actually cracked up at the "Manly Fishbowl Rocks" bit. I'm also really curious as to what that music project is, and specifically what about it is making Saki so uncomfortable. All in due time, I suppose.

Another great one, Euro, keep it up!

Eurobeatjester wrote:her hand hidden behind her mouth

Caught one, boss.

Solistor wrote:

Eurobeatjester wrote:her hand hidden behind her mouth

Caught one, boss.

Whoops!

I swear, sometimes I'm dyslexic when I proofread.

Eurobeatjester wrote:Here, I'm on my on.

own

Eurobeatjester wrote:That snaps be back to reality,

me


Overall, another solid chapter. Looking forward to what happens next! Keep up the great work!