Hans PK wrote:Yeah, I realized that I needed to get motivated and stop being so damn cynical.
That's it, for me at least.
Maybe it's true that the girl we like most in the game reflects who we are inside: Misha is my favorite and, just like her, my biggest problem is the lack of a purpose in life. I'm always in need of motivation to do things, but I can say that things are slightly changing. I used to be the kind of person that did not give a shit about anyone and anything, and wondered why nobody would like me. I'm still a mostly anti-social and introverted person but at least I started to be more outgoing, less detached and more friendly, and the results are slightly showing. Also I want to learn more skills and not just stand there and idly complain.
I don't think that KS changed me overnight, or even greatly affected me (sometimes I think that nothing ever really does, I have the impression that I'm still stuck in the same situation because I don' t really learn anything, and this makes me sad), there are other things that helped me such as some friends and seeing a therapist. When I first approached KS (to be fair, I knew about it since 2009 but then forgot about it, until it came out in January 2012) I did it because I read that it was life-changing for many people and I wanted to change my life and experience that; it probably wasn't the best idea, I should have just enjoyed it for what it was... and I did, of course! It wasn't the epiphany that i hoped (maybe because I can't stay focused on a thing for long enough, and that's another problem for the "lack of purpose" thing) but I still loved it and thought about it many times. I just think that maybe there should be other things for me to be helped by.
In short: KS did not change me so much, but neither did it make me more miserable or sad; it changed me in the sense that, while I wasn't part of any fandom until now, I'm happy to be so interested in a work of fiction, be a part of a community and want to spread the KS word.
I definitely have to learn to love myself and life more, but I think and hope I'm in the right direction.
(sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense, but I'm writing down the things that come to my mind without much coherence)