Katawa Shoujo Forums

BaldBombshell wrote:I think the devs at some point said what Hisao specifically has is Long QT Syndrome.

I've heard the Long QT bit before, but I thought it was by "general consensus" instead of something the devs actually confirmed.

(The following is my opinion and headcannon on the matter)

While that type of arrhythmia does seem to fit Hisao's symptoms, it doesn't fit the treatments he undergoes in the VN.

With Long QT, the list of medications to avoid is nearly 200, and Long QT can actually develop as a side effect of taking these medications for long periods of time. This list is very important to a Long QT patient, even more so than the medication they can actually take because there's only a handful of drugs and supplements that people with Long QT can take for their condition that's safe.

Furthermore, if someone has Long QT severe enough to where they need to be on any type of medication, their doctors would not be pushing them to play sports or exercise by running around a track...and it's made very clear in the VN that Hisao is on a lot of medication.

It's strange to try and pinpoint different aspects of Hisao (and even Saki's) condition because "arrhythmia" and "ataxia" are like "seizures" in that they're a blanket term describing symptoms that can have dozens of different causes. I don't believe the devs thought out the specifics for Hisao (or even Saki in the april fool's post) because they aren't required for the story, and they shouldn't be for writers or readers.

I try to do as much research as possible before writing, not because I want to give long-winded explanations, but because I want the disabilities - and any complications that arise from them - to be real and believable. For example, if Hisao has another heart attack or Chisato goes into a diabetic coma, I want the reason to be accurate even if the majority of people who would read it won't know the difference.

Case in point: The only thing we know about Saki's ataxia from the devs is that it's fatal and will kill her when she's rather young, and that she gets around on a cane. There are a handful of types of spinocerebellar ataxia that fit this description, and I had settled on one specific one. Turns out though, when I did more research, that specific type has never been found in someone of Asian decent.

Wow, you've clearly done your research It really adds realism to the story.. giving me another reason to love your story!

I'm curious on how this swimming thing will work out and I'm super excited on what you have in store for the city trip. I don't really have any critiques on the writing (it's always great) and I can't wait for your next update!

Well, bad news for me, good news for the story!

I ended up severely injuring my achilles tendon yesterday, so I'll be out of work for at least a full week. Sucks for my paycheck, but I should be able to bang out at least one or two updates in that time

Eurobeatjester wrote:Well, bad news for me, good news for the story!

Oh no! :O
Best of luck with healing that, hope you can be back on your feet soon-ish.
I will not be happy about more updates. I will not be happy about more updates. I will not be happy about more updates.

Eurobeatjester wrote:Well, bad news for me, good news for the story!

I ended up severely injuring my achilles tendon yesterday, so I'll be out of work for at least a full week. Sucks for my paycheck, but I should be able to bang out at least one or two updates in that time

Ouch! I'm severely conflicted with thinking about your unfortunate injury and our possibly fortunate receipt of new updates. All the best! :S

Thanks, I appreciate it

Also: New piece of artwork is GO.

I have a question for you all.

The story takes places in several new locations around Yamaku and outside of it. I found a way to use photoshop filters to make backgrounds for images similar to what's presented in KS.

Would it break the flow of the story too much if I inserted them in appropriate ares? For example, putting a picture of a pool when Hisao sees the pool area for the first time.

Nah. That sounds pretty interesting. And this is a pseudo-route anyway, so...

I would personally upload them to an image sharing website and link to them, rather than embedding each chapter with X amount of images. That way, the people who want to see the pictures can by clicking the links, and the people who don't need only ignore the links. It is an interesting idea though, not unlike the way some people have inserted music into their scenes.

Registered just to say this.

Saki's been one of the most intriguing characters for me ever since I saw the April Fools' post and her backstory, so thanks very much for writing such a high-quality pseudoroute! It's utterly enjoyable and feels just like KS, which is a huge plus for me. I also appreciate how you're delving into Hisao's own condition, not just focusing on everyone else.

One of my favorite fanfictions right now, keep writing please. I have to say that I look forward to reading every update by you and I can't express how much I'm enjoying this right now. Awesome work!

I find that pictures only belong in written material as reference, but I'm a damn purist. Same goes for music cues, by the way, only worse.

Silentcook wrote:I find that pictures only belong in written material as reference, but I'm a damn purist. Same goes for music cues, by the way, only worse.

In your opinion, did Sisterhood go overboard? I admit that reading a "Music: Fripperies" can be a bit jarring when you get in the mood, but simply the blacked out number indicating track selection didn't seem intrusive at all.

For the record here, I'm not thinking of putting in a picture every time the background changes. Mainly just one picture when a new background is introduced and not using it again. So, maybe once every few scenes.

In my opinion, any purely-written works which require you to do more than the equivalent of turning the page are trying to do too much. This includes "Sisterhood".

This should not be taken as moderator judgment, by the way, just as my declared dislike for crossover material is not.

It's entirely your privilege to turn your book into a picture book, if that is your wish. As long as you don't bork anything...

Silentcook wrote:In my opinion, any purely-written works which require you to do more than the equivalent of turning the page are trying to do too much. This includes "Sisterhood".

This should not be taken as moderator judgment, by the way, just as my declared dislike for crossover material is not.

It's entirely your privilege to turn your book into a picture book, if that is your wish. As long as you don't bork anything...

No promises

With that in mind, I think I'll try just having one pic in the next chapter, so there's no links to click on and no cluttering of the story with different links If it's not well received I can always change that.

Going back a little now to actually comment on the last update.

Eurobeatjester wrote:Also, Nurse is a fun character to write

Whoa-ho, not for me. Nurse is my fucking albatross.

Anyway, I enjoyed this update. It's hard to really find something to say about it, though, because (and I suppose I'll sound like a hack here,) there's no twist--I'm not really sure how this advances the plot, I guess. It's certainly well-written, as good as anything on this board or in the VN, but the thing about Hisao's encounter with Nurse here is that, while it's certainly interesting, it could also kinda be plopped into damn near anything. As you said, it's a small update. Honestly, I think you were too hasty to update. I have a feeling that you should have released this alongside the next update that you're planning.

I don't remember if I commented on the earlier scene you posted, but I liked it. I think the fact that Saki dated Takashi is interesting. The dialogue you have here is really fun, and I do like Chisato as a character.

I mean, I guess my problem is, these are your first scenes of Act Two, and when you're comparing it to the first scenes of the Act Twos in the VN, it's kind of, well, uneventful. I mean, look at the first scene of Shizune's Act Two, where she and Hisao have that long intimate conversation in text for the first time in the history of their relationship. Emi's route has that really intense, lusty running scene in the beginning. But, I'm not seeing the intimacy between Saki and Hisao yet. I mean, compared to how he is in Emi or Shizune's routes, Hisao doesn't really seem that attracted. There isn't, like, any kind of emotional intensity yet, or even any physical attraction. I mean, to put it bluntly, Hisao doesn't seem to want to fuck Saki nearly as much as I'd think he would by now.

I still think the writing is great, and I'm still totally on board with it, and I'm super appreciative of the research and effort you've been putting in. I'm just doing my best to articulate my thoughts and forge some constructive criticism from them. I'm sure you've already thought most of these things through yourself.

Sorry I took so long with this feedback. I've been kind of messed up these past few weeks.