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Re: Hanako's presents

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 3:41 pm
by KeiichiO
Steinherz wrote:
KeiichiO wrote:
Hisao&Hanako<3 wrote:And there's nothing better than making someone smile that deserves it the most. Someone like Hanako. :)
Those who are the hardest to love, need it the most.

~Some guy from a movie said that I think but I don't remember if some guy actually said that or not. It's meaningful, nonetheless.
Socrates, Peaceful Warrior (2006)
:p
Something like that. Yes.

Re: Hanako's presents

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 4:50 pm
by Xanatos
Hisao&Hanako<3 wrote:^That's a very good thought process. Although careful, in a place like this you get called a white knight cause you enjoy helping people. :lol: I looked up the urban dictionary definition for the expression, and I was saying BS to myself the whole time. So what if a guy dates a girl cause he feels he's "saving the damsel in distress"? Maybe he actually loves her. What if one day, a guy finds a girl that's crying, and he wishes to comfort her and be her friend, and through that friendship, develops a love for her?

Sorry for the tangent and rant from a simple reply, but I'm displeased with some of the responses I've gotten here and I will express that. But yeah man, my point is, you keep talking like you enjoy helping people, and suddenly you're public enemy number 1.
You don't get called a white knight for helping people. You get called a white knight for being selfish under a bullshit-laden facade of love. If a guy dates a girl 'cause he feels he's "saving the damsel in distress", he's a white knight and a douchebag. That guy isn't with a girl because of love. He's with her because she's damaged and it strokes his own ego to think he's fixing her. That's not right, period. And your "point" is utter bullshit too, not to mention annoyingly passive-aggressive.

I wonder if Hanako would enjoy a Wii...

Re: Hanako's presents

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 4:53 pm
by Guest Poster
Hisao&Hanako<3 wrote:So what if a guy dates a girl cause he feels he's "saving the damsel in distress"? Maybe he actually loves her. What if one day, a guy finds a girl that's crying, and he wishes to comfort her and be her friend, and through that friendship, develops a love for her?
H&H, the term for what's being described isn't so much "White Knighting", but it's called "codependency". Hisao was suffering from a minor case and was able to shake himself out of it with only a bit of honest soul-searching and some prodding from Lilly.

The scenario you present can actually end in two ways:

Either:

1) Guy finds girl who's crying and wishes to comfort her and finds himself attracted to her.
2) Guy develops love for the girl and tells her he'll always be there for her when she needs his help.
3) Girl, after seeing guy's complete devotion to her recognizes his kindness, sacrifices and efforts and starts a relationship with him.
4) The girl eventually gets better and they live happily ever after.

or:

1) Guy finds girl who's crying and wishes to comfort her and finds himself attracted to her.
2) Guy develops love for the girl and tells her he'll always be there for her when she needs his help.
3) Girl, after seeing guy's complete devotion to her recognizes his kindness, sacrifices and efforts and starts a relationship with him. (note that at some point, some girls may actually start having doubts. Many girls like Hanako are genre-savvy enough to wonder if this isn't too good to be true)
4) The girl eventually starts getting better and starts getting her life in order, depending less and less on the guy.
5) The guy feels like he should be glad for the girl, yet for some reason he feels like they've been growing a bit apart and while she's busy spending the night going out with her new friends or collegues, the guy feels confused about why that euphoric feeling of attraction he had at the beginning seems to have faded.
6) Guy at some point comes across some other girl who's crying or down on her luck and depressed and he feels something familiar deep inside when he looks at girl 2 that he used to feel with girl 1, but not anymore.
7) Guy feels that girl 1 doesn't really need help anymore, but girl 2 has noone to pay attention to her so he starts hanging out with her and develops a strong attraction to her. So eventually he breaks up with girl 1 when he realizes he's fallen in love with girl 2. He's not proud of it, but feels it would be selfish to deny girl 2 all he has to offer while she's so down on herself and obviously in need of someone to lend a supporting shoulder.
8) Girl 1 will either react with feeling betrayed and confused or will react with a resigned acceptance since she saw this coming for some time anyway.
9) Go back to step 2.

Turns out that said guy confused "feeling in love" with "feeling needed". And trust me, it's very easy to confuse the two. The guy may have had honestly good intentions and didn't even realize his own subconciousness was playing tricks on him. But if "saving someone" is what triggered a person's attraction, then that won't change once said person stops needing comfort...and that attraction will suddenly start turning into anxiety or worse.

Usually, the gender roles are reversed here. Guys seem to be slightly more prone to a dependent pattern and girls more prone to a codependent pattern, but there are plenty of examples where the caretakee is female.

Do examples of scenario 1 exist? Probably. But scenarios of type 2 are quite common as well, possibly a lot more common than examples of the first one.

Special note: unless the guy you brought up in your example was really you, this isn't an attempt at psycho-analyzing you as a person. All I'm saying is that attraction based on "save the damsel" can and (more often than not) do end badly.

Re: Hanako's presents

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 5:02 pm
by Jobriq
White knights suck. Black knights are legit.

Re: Hanako's presents

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 5:03 pm
by Xanatos
Jobriq wrote:White knights suck. Black knights are legit.
You win the forum. Congrats. :lol:

Re: Hanako's presents

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 5:05 pm
by Steinherz
Jobriq wrote:White knights suck. Black knights are legit.
Image
True that

Re: Hanako's presents

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 5:10 pm
by KeiichiO
Jobriq wrote:White knights suck. Black knights are legit.
I always made that connection in my mind, but never saw an actual image of this. Now that you have shared it, I can die in peace.

Thank you, Jobriq-sama. I am forever in your debt.

Re: Hanako's presents

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 5:13 pm
by Xanatos
KeiichiO wrote:
Jobriq wrote:White knights suck. Black knights are legit.
I always made that connection in my mind, but never saw an actual image of this. Now that you have shared it, I can die in peace.

Thank you, Jobriq-sama. I am forever in your dept.
Dept is shorthand for "department"...What? XD

Re: Hanako's presents

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 5:16 pm
by Steinherz
Xanatos wrote:
KeiichiO wrote:
Jobriq wrote:White knights suck. Black knights are legit.
I always made that connection in my mind, but never saw an actual image of this. Now that you have shared it, I can die in peace.

Thank you, Jobriq-sama. I am forever in your dept.
Dept is shorthand for "department"...What? XD
KeiichiO said the "b" upside down obviously :lol:

Re: Hanako's presents

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 5:19 pm
by Xanatos
Steinherz wrote:KeiichiO said the "b" upside down obviously :lol:
Oh, okay then. :lol:

I wonder how/if Hanako would react to getting a Rin-in-a-bin for Christmas. She just tears the wrapping paper off and Rin peeks out going "Sup?"

Re: Hanako's presents

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 5:24 pm
by KeiichiO
Mistakes: We all make 'em. We're only human. Mishaps are inevitable. And those who point out others mistakes are either one of two things; helpful critics just looking out for fellow companions, or pretentious assholes who try to make others look bad by blatantly making the mistakes obvious.

Yes, I meant "debt". I have no idea why I used "p" instead of "b". Maybe P just wanted to have fun and be a rebel by being in words of which he does not belong. Just let him live his own life, and don't judge, okay? He's dealing with enough hardships and really doesn't need others criticizing him.

This isn't really worth it, though, I find it amusing.

Re: Hanako's presents

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 5:29 pm
by Xanatos
^ Seen above in its natural habit is someone being overly defensive about their mistakes. If left untreated, the shock of being exposed as anything other than a flawless entity may cause the organism to degenerate into a talking llama and learn valuable life lessons during misadventures with a fat peasant..

:P

Re: Hanako's presents

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 5:34 pm
by KeiichiO
Xanatos wrote:^ Seen above in its natural habit is someone being overly defensive about their mistakes. If left untreated, the shock of being exposed as anything other than a flawless entity may cause the organism to degenerate into a talking llama and learn valuable life lessons during misadventures with a fat peasant..

:P
BRIGHT, RED AND AWESOME, EVEN WORN BY OPOSSUM, NOBODY WANTS THEIR PANTS TO FALL DOWN.

Ahem, I'm good now.

Also, I like llamas. And The Emperor's New Groove. I win twice.

Oh, and I would NEVER consider myself a flawless entity. That's simply barbaric. It's a complete impossibility. Now, if I was a talking llama, I'd be pretty damn perfect.

Re: Hanako's presents

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 5:37 pm
by Steinherz
Xanatos wrote:I wonder how/if Hanako would react to getting a Rin-in-a-bin for Christmas. She just tears the wrapping paper off and Rin peeks out going "Sup?"
And I think she'd probably have a small panic attack and fall over backwards :lol:

Re: Hanako's presents

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 5:38 pm
by Xanatos
Steinherz wrote:
Xanatos wrote:I wonder how/if Hanako would react to getting a Rin-in-a-bin for Christmas. She just tears the wrapping paper off and Rin peeks out going "Sup?"
And I think she'd probably have a small panic attack and fall over backwards :lol:
:mrgreen: Adorable! Bonus if the backward fall results in a panty shot (cue odd one-liner about it from Rin) and she gets embarrassed.