Hisao and Kenji: Masterful One Shots! Winter Update!

[griffon8]

I like to do the Daniel Tosh thing, where I proceed to make the reference pool narrower and narrower, because its that much sweeter when someone actually gets it . And it amuses me.

And since someone did, I am happy, and thus I thank you, griffon8.

I think that the differences in our reference pools are much smaller than the similarities. Which obviously means that I'm too much like you.

[Hoitash]

I like to do the Daniel Tosh thing, where I proceed to make the reference pool narrower and narrower, because its that much sweeter when someone actually gets it . And it amuses me.

And since someone did, I am happy, and thus I thank you, griffon8.

I think that the differences in our reference pools are much smaller than the similarities. Which obviously means that I'm too much like you.

Must be runoff from the auto factories or something .

[Hoitash]

Well look at that, today’s the one year anniversary of Hisao and Kenji: Master Detectives! Time to celebrate with a kegger and some red velvet cupcakes.

And a one shot, I guess. Let’s see if I can do that old noire style writing again, for ‘twas so much fun to write. ‘Scuse me while I post this doing a keg stand. For the Emperor!


Hisao and Kenji: Setting Up Shop


“So, what do you think?” Kenji Setou asked me one life changing evening.

I put down the box of books on the floor and stood up to examine my surroundings. The dingy studio apartment was painted a dull green, with an aging fan loosely bolted to the ceiling, along with a few light fixtures that might have been salvaged from the Titanic. Some worn and battered green file cabinets were already in the open space Kenji had claimed as an office, as was an old dark wooden desk and the unopened boxes for assembly required bookshelves.

Examining the dingy room in a dingy building in a dingy part of town, my opinion of the place matched my opinion of most of that ward of the city; burn it to the ground and make it into a parking lot.

I was a bit more diplomatic in my response, however, replying instead with, “it’s a dump.”

Kenji grinned and nodded, his thick round glasses threatening to fly off his face in his exuberance, “I know, it’s perfect! It’s in a shitty part of town, less then five minutes from a bus with a direct line to my apartment, and the rent’s really cheap because half the utilities don’t work!”

“And you’re sure it’s zoned for commercial use?” I asked.

Kenji nodded, “they had to rezone it to avoid demolition.”

“Yes, what a tragedy that would be,” I quipped with an eye roll.

Kenji humphed and sat in the rickety rolling office chair behind the desk, “you could be a little more supportive, partner.”

I blinked dumbly and asked, “Pardon?”

Kenji smirked and glanced at me over his glasses, “remember the money you owe me?”

I sighed and nodded, “the irony does not escape me.”

“Well, how about instead of cash, you just work with me until the debts paid off?”

I raised an eyebrow, “what kind of work?”

If I had known how much trouble working with Kenji was going to be, I probably would’ve told him to shove it right then. Although in hindsight it was worth it, at the time I was more concerned with getting my life sorted out. Less than a year after graduating college and Kenji was already getting his one man private detective agency started. Two man, if he got his way.

Kenji shrugged, “drive me around, help me with surveillance, answer the phone, handle paperwork; clerical stuff.”

“So I’d be your secretary,” I stated.

“Well, technically, in that you don’t have the documents to be a legit PI,” Kenji said, “at least, not right now. If you did get them, I could pay for the fees and deduct them as a business expense, which I could also take out of the debt.”

I sighed and sat down in one of the old rusty folding chairs placed in front of the desk. The offer was a good one, and paying back Kenji in services rendered rather then money was very appealing. Hanako’s writing wasn’t the success it would turn into yet, and my fears of finding work as a high school science teacher being difficult turned out to be justified. Lilly offered to help, of course, as did my parents, but so did Kenji, and getting help from him seemed less like charity and more like karmic justice.

Still, getting involved with Kenji’s work, especially in such a shady neighborhood, seemed like a less then ideal situation, and I said as much.

Kenji sighed and leaned forward. Resting his hands on the desk, interlacing his fingers on the dark wood as his gold and red scarf loosened itself around his slumped shoulders, he said, “You know this isn’t about money. Not really. If you weren’t so damn stubborn I’d just call it a gift and be done with it, but we both know you and Hanako won’t have that.”

I smirked and nodded, imagining Hanako sending Kenji boxed lunches for the next decade as payments. Not a bad deal, really.

“The thing is,” Kenji continued, “for the last six years, you’ve been by my side, no matter how rough things got.”

I nodded, “true.”

“From help with homework to getting Professor Watanabe’s engine to catch fire, no matter how insane the plan I’ve had or done, you’ve been there by my side, helping me through the shit and getting me on to other side of shit creek, with or without a paddle.”

“I coulda done without that mental image,” I remarked.

“My point is, you’ve been by my side since high school,” Kenji stated, “I know you didn’t enjoy most of it, and you don’t share my zeal for rooting out the Secret Societies-”

“Wondered when you’d bring them up,” I muttered; getting the connections and dirt to uncover them was the real reason he studied criminology, after all.

“But believer or not, what you are, and always have been, is my best friend,” Kenji continued, “I can’t fight this battle alone, and there’s no one else I’d want by my side.”

I smirked and raised an eyebrow, “trying to appeal to my sentimental side?”

Kenji smirked and shrugged, “worth a shot.”

I snorted and leaned back in my chair, deciding to properly think over the offer. I sat in contemplative silence for a while, mulling the possible permutations of Kenji’s offer in my mind. A large number of them ended with me bleeding out in a ditch outside of a burned out bar, for some reason.

Which is probably why I decided to say, “I dunno. As much fun as the last few years have been, I think it’s about time I settled down and lived a normal life. Well, as normal as an arrhythmic young man with you as their best friend can manage.”

Kenji nodded, “I understand, man,” grinning lightly, he added, “you gotta admit though, the last four years have been a fuckton of fun.”

“I don’t doubt that,” I stated, smirking lightly myself, “it’s just, I think its time my fun was more… grounded in reality.”

“Fair enough,” Kenji said with a shrug, “but look at it this way; you know what my goals are here- root out the Secret Societies for the world to see, maybe save a few marriages or find a few missing lost loves for fun along the way-”

“A girlfriend might not be a bad idea, either,” I muttered.

“Ha-ha,” Kenji deadpanned. Sighing lightly, he asked, “C’mon, working with me wouldn’t be that bad, would it?”

I sighed and shook my head, “no, but, I can’t help but get a bad feeling…”

Kenji raised an eyebrow, “what, you sense a disturbance in the Force?”

I chuckled and shrugged, “maybe. The last time I agreed to help you, we almost set the poli-sci department on fire.”

“That was Oji’s fault!” Kenji countered, “I told him not to show up stoned, but did he listen?”

Smirking lightly, I mused, “No, he did not.”

Starting to reminisce about the past several years, I sighed and relaxed a bit into the chair. Clerical work would be tedious, but it would also be relaxing, in a way; losing myself in the monotony of it might make for a nice winding down after a day of teaching. Besides, if Kenji was a private investigator, legally speaking, there wasn’t a lot of trouble he could get into, especially without risking his permits.

The reasons to turn down the offer were thinning out, but I was still reluctant to say yes. Pulling out my last good reason to decline, I said, “I’m not sure Hana would like the idea of us working together. We already get into enough trouble as it is.”

Kenji nodded before smirking, “check your phone.”

Raising an eyebrow, I pulled out my cell phone, which had somehow been set to silent despite me having set it to ring. Flipping it open revealed a new text message, and with a sneaking suspicion regarding its contents, I opened it.

(Kenji needs someone to keep him rooted in reality, and I think you’re the best one for that job for now. Just please, stay safe, and don’t let him do anything too crazy. –Hanako.)

I sighed and glared at Kenji, “you magnificent bastard.”

Kenji chuckled and leaned back in his chair, “guilty as charged. So, whadda ya say?”

I sighed and looked up at the ancient ceiling fan. Even Hanako thought it was a good idea, which was either a sign of the apocalypse, or her faith in my ability to ground Kenji in reality. Not that Kenji and reality ever got along well, even with a grounding force. I preferred to think of myself as a regulator, focusing his insanity into its most useful and least destructive endeavors. Or, failing that, into cleaning up the mess when shit hit the fan –which, incidentally, makes a very large mess.

With one last, weary glance at the ceiling fan, I looked back down on the patiently waiting Kenji. His eyebrow was raised in trepidation as he awaited my answer. Heinlein help me, the poor bastard really did need me. He’d probably need the help of a few million spirits, too.

Sighing again, I slowly offered my hand, “you got a deal, partner, on one condition.”

“Name it,” Kenji stated, a grin starting to trace itself on his expression.

My jaw tensing slightly, I said, “whatever happens, you don’t do anything rash, and whatever we do, make sure Hanako doesn’t learn the details; she worries enough as it is.”

Kenji nodded and grabbed my hand. Shaking it firmly and grinning, I sometimes wonder if the mild shake I felt in the earth was hindsight, a minor earthquake, or my bowels spasming in terror. Either way, I should have known how fucked I was when Kenji declared, “don’t worry, we’ll be fine; how bad can things get, when you got the best private investigator in the city and his trusty partner on the case?”

+++

I could have ended with “what could possibly go wrong?” but that would just be insulting, and Kenji’s way too Genre Savvy to Tempt Fate like that.

Hope all y’all enjoyed that, I gotta go practice my southern accent for the next one shot, because apparently a Kansai dialect translates into a southern accent (it doesn’t; it’s just a translation convention.)

Until next time, remember the words of the greatest Russian sergeant ever:

“As long as you live, the heart of this army can never be broken.” –Viktor Reznov

[Helbereth]

I could have ended with “what could possibly go wrong?” but that would just be insulting, and Kenji’s way too Genre Savvy to Tempt Fate like that.

Kenji couldn't get away with it, I agree; he's not one to tempt fate in such a way.

However, Hisao could say it sarcastically, or, in this case, ironically.

[Hoitash]

I could have ended with “what could possibly go wrong?” but that would just be insulting, and Kenji’s way too Genre Savvy to Tempt Fate like that.

Kenji couldn't get away with it, I agree; he's not one to tempt fate in such a way.

However, Hisao could say it sarcastically, or, in this case, ironically.

I'm not sure Hisao would tempt fate either. He might, however, be thinking it real hard .

[CptSalsa]

Your supreme being of choice help me, the poor bastard really did need me.

Broke the fourth wall.

[Hoitash]

Your supreme being of choice help me, the poor bastard really did need me.

Broke the fourth wall.

Well, he is writing for an audience .

Also, since I've written Hisao as a bit of an agnostic, I couldn't decide to put "God help me if he existed," or "Spirits help me if they were paying attention."

So I decided to go for the silly one, which didn't work out too well, it seems. Sorry about that.

[Helbereth]

Your supreme being of choice help me, the poor bastard really did need me.

Broke the fourth wall.

Well, he is writing for an audience .

Also, since I've written Hisao as a bit of an agnostic, I couldn't decide to put "God help me if he existed," or "Spirits help me if they were paying attention."

So I decided to go for the silly one, which didn't work out too well, it seems. Sorry about that.

How about:
"By Einstein's atomically photogenic tongue, the poor bastard really did need me."
Y'know, cast the role of a supreme being as a scientific hero--someone Hisao would admire enough to idolize--like Einstein, Edison, DaVinci, or, more recently, Michio Kaku.

Looking at Kaku's wiki page, he's apparently married to a woman named Shizue... coincidence? I think not...

[Hoitash]

How about:
"By Einstein's atomically photogenic tongue, the poor bastard really did need me."
Y'know, cast the role of a supreme being as a scientific hero--someone Hisao would admire enough to idolize--like Einstein, Edison, DaVinci, or, more recently, Michio Kaku.

Looking at Kaku's wiki page, he's apparently married to a woman named Shizue... coincidence? I think not...

Heck, I coulda had him reference the God-Emperor of Mankind, had I been thinking clearly. Or Frank Herbert, or Isaac Asimov, or even David Sarif. The mind boggles at the possibilities!

I decided for alliterative appeal. I'm weird like that.

[Hoitash]

So, today is special. I just can’t remember why. It was something important, though. Wait… I got it! Today was the day I would lead my army of Orangu-Men to conquer Yukon! To me, sons of Sigmar! For the Empire!

…Oh. Right. Hanachan’s birthday is today. As my birthday present, I present (heh) the following birthday one shot. It comes with a bit of a warning, though:

Anyone who is going to read this and is reading my summer series (pretty much all of you, I’d wager) are strongly encouraged to read this post: http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... 91#p131125

Now, as you can see, my prequel has a bit of a connection to that chapter, or at least a reference made within it. If you feel like you’d rather not expose yourself to possible spoilers from reading this special, you are of course free to wait until the summer series is concluded. Though this will likely affect my readership, I consider the tradeoff of responsible authorship worth it. Now on with the show!

Oh, and this fic takes place the year after Mystery Twelve, so Refia is a little over three or nearly three (I think), Akio would be somewhere around eight, and Satomi around six. Now, onward, to cake and the celebratory beverage of your choosing (tea would be nice, I think)!

Sorry, one more thing: this baby is super duper long, so I’m gonna post it in a ton of parts so it won’t break the forum. Hopefully I will succeed in preventing that, after which I will unleash my army… right. Hanako.


Hisao and Family: When She Smiles


“Are we there yet?” my son Akio asked me.

“We get there when we get there,” I replied.

My son was currently a pace ahead of me and my wife, in front of me and to the right of my oldest daughter, Satomi, who was also ahead slightly ahead of us. Standing next to me was my wife, Hanako, who was holding our younger daughter, Refia –who tended to wander if left to her own devices- as we made our way along the city sidewalk on a particularly noteworthy afternoon.

“Are we there yet?” Satomi asked not three minutes later.

“We get there when we get there,” Hanako chided, smirking lightly.

I rolled my eyes and suppressed a sigh, instead glancing at my wife’s attire. I had insisted the night was going to be informal, but she had still opted for a violet skirted suit and matching flatcap. I was just wearing a blue argyle sweater vest and dark brown pants, with a blue buttoned shirt. Akio was wearing more or less the same thing I was, which matched his light brown hair well. Satomi was wearing a bright purple summer dress that matched her hair, while Refia was wearing a pink floral pattern styled outfit, which I’m pretty sure Misha had bought her as a gift.

“We there yet?” our youngest asked a few minutes later.

“We get there when we get there,” Hanako and I stated.

“We are almost there,” I added.

“Will Aunt Misha and Shicchan be there?” Akio asked.

“Yes,” Hanako replied, “I think everyone we invited was able to make it. Even Emi and Kwan.”

I nodded, “it has been a while for those two. Then again, it was a while before we saw Miki again.”

Hanako sighed and nodded.

“Mimi and Natsu, too?” Refia asked.

“Yep,” I replied, slowing my pace to smile at her. She had Hanako’s eyes, and purple hair that was a shade lighter then her mother’s.

“Will they bring Maki-chan?” Satomi asked.

“They will,” I said, wondering briefly if they would; their daughter was rather shy, oddly enough, “I think.”

“We’ll find out eventually,” Hanako stated, “but a lot of people are coming.”

Hanako glanced at me and smirked. Large crowds did make her a bit uncomfortable, but it was people we knew well, some of whom she hadn’t seen in some time. Speaking of crowds, as we continued along, the sidewalk was started to get crowded as people began leaving work to wander home, or to get a cheap dinner and a cheap drink, or an expensive drink if some of the flamboyant outfits were any indication.

Hanako had positioned Refia against her right side, partially so Refia’s constantly wandering eyes could watch at the various buildings as they passed. Refia’s position combined with the flatcap made it so the only scars you could see were those on her hand, and people were passing by so quickly no one noticed. The energetic trotting of our older children helped too, working as a wedge in the crowd to give us more space and help ease Hanako’s discomfort at being amongst the masses, though not by much.

Despite the apathy of the crowd around us, Hanako was visibly nervous, fidgeting slightly while her eyes darted around her and towards our children. It was completely understandable, of course, and seeing her tense expression and stiff posture reminded me that it had taken quite a lot of time for her to be willing to do something like this. It wasn’t until Akio had been around three, actually, that she was willing to leave the house for this day, and it wasn’t until she was first pregnant she had been willing to leave the bedroom. Some wounds are deep, and take time to heal. Hell, I still didn’t know the whole story of her triggers, and part of me felt I never would.

That was okay, though, because I was there for her, and she was there for me, and we were there for each other, our friends, our family, and all that other sappy cliché stuff I’ve been rambling about forever. My relationships are healthy and mutually beneficial, so sue me. It helps make up for all the insane shenanigans Kenji forces me into.

Just as Satomi and Akio seemed on the verge of asking once again, I pointed half a block away and stated, “There it is.”

Miki’s bar and restaurant looked much like the rest of this section of the city, which had been built in a Meiji style of Western/Asian mix, just before the next block became fully modern construction. The restaurant itself had a large, dark wooden door flanked by two large windows.

“Ready?” I asked Hanako.

Hanako nodded, and I stepped forward to open the door for everyone. Akio and Satomi darted inside, Hanako following close behind. Once she and Refia were through, I followed them, the door closing behind me slowly.

The inside of the restaurant was a weird mix of informal dining and sports bar, with the bar separated on the left side by some double hinged doors and a wall covered in sports schedules and Brazilian paintings. The rest of the establishment was well lit and filled with tables and booths of various sizes and shapes. A row of several dark wooden double doors along the back wall were flanked by more traditional artwork and a few Brazilian-esque sculptures, along with a few other doors, which led to restrooms and employee sections.

In front of us was the hostess’ stand, where a young woman in black pants and matching buttoned shirt with long brown hair smiled and bowed to us in greeting.

“Hey, Mio,” I said.

“Hey, Mr. Nakai!” Mio chirped, then turned to Hanako and declared, “You must be Mrs. Nakai!”

[Hoitash]

Part II:

Hanako smiled and nodded, “Hello.”

Mio smiled at the kids before stating, “the room’s ready, and the Boss is in their chatting with the Setou’s. Right this way, please.”

Mio bounced her way toward one of the back doors, the rest of us following as we navigated the maze of tables to get to the back wall. As we did I noticed the decent sized crowd of patrons, most of whom were at least a decade younger then us, and none of them had kids. Well, this was a family occasion, so it was for the best we got a banquet room; Kenji’s planning at work again, of course.

Once she reached the door, Mio cracked it open and poked her head inside, “Hey Boss, the Nakai’s are here.”

“Send ‘em in!” a familiar boisterous voice commanded.

Mio hefted one of the two doors open and bowed deeply, “welcome, and thank you for patronizing our establishment.”

“You’re very welcome,” I stated. After gesturing for Hanako and the kids to step in, I followed my family into the banquet room.

Once we were inside the room, with Mio close behind, I took a moment to scan the inside of it. Three long tables had been arrayed parallel to the side walls, which were the same dark wooden color as the rest of the building. The only occupied chair was in the far right corner, and was currently in use by Kenji’s wife, Miya. A short woman with brown eyes and long brown hair in a ponytail, she was cradling their infant son Hisato, who seemed asleep.

Kenji wasn’t too far away, standing next to Miki Akiyama nee Miura, one of the restaurant’s owners. Both were conversing adamantly, Kenji’s thick round glasses glinting in the light while Miki’s gray-purple hair reflected it, her tanned skin toned and smooth. Well, most of it. Her left hand was a bit bigger than the right, and caught the light oddly. What the two were discussing I wasn’t sure, but based on some of the snippets I heard, it sounded like Kenji was trying to learn one of the Ryukyuan languages.

“Hey, Miki, Kenji, Miya,” I stated.

Kenji jumped and turned toward us, his gold and red scarf –which clashed horribly with his old brown suit- loosening around his shoulders as he did so.

“Calm down,” Miki said, grinning widely as she strode forward, “hey and welcome. Mio, did you get their drink orders yet?”

“Haven’t had a chance, Boss,” Mio stated. In a flash of movement she produced a pad and a pen, “what can I get you guys?”

After relaying our requests, Mio nodded, bowed, and turned to leave. Before she did, Miki stated, “Don’t forget to let me know when the others show up.”

“Got is, Boss,” Mio said, then disappeared though the door.

“Good kid,” Miki mused.

“Oh, it is you guys,” Kenji stated. Moving forward to greet us, he quickly shook my hand, then Hanako’s.

“Yup,” I said, “hey Miki, everything set?”

Miki nodded, still grinning, “Yep! Hey, Hanako.”

“Hello,” Hanako said, stopping to release Refia to stand on her own.

Miki put her hands on her hips, her white buttoned shirt and black pants of the same cut as Mio’s, her tie jet black and loose around her neck, “so, these must be your children,” pointing to them in turn, she said, “Akio, Satomi, and Refia, right?”

Hanako nodded, “right.”

“Hello,” the three children said, bowing in greeting.

“Hey,” Miki replied, kneeling down to their level. As she did so I noticed Akio eyeing her left hand.

Miki must’ve noticed that as well, because she looked at him and waved it, “see you noticed the augment. Pretty cool, huh?”

Akio nodded; he was starting to pick up my scientific nature, though he tended to prefer the engineering side of things, whereas I was more interested in chemistry and astronomy.

“Wanna see a trick?” she asked.

Akio nodded, as did Satomi, who was still standing next to him, holding Refia’s hand to keep her from wandering off as she stared off into the distance, continuing to feed my concern she some form of attention deficit disorder.

Miki pulled a pencil from her belt and placed it in her left hand, roughly parallel with her thumb. She slowly closed her hand and started squeezing. I raised an eyebrow as she squeezed as hard as she could. I heard the tiny servos in her artificial knuckles whine as she clenched as hard as her augment was capable, and probably a bit harder, too. Her grin formed into a grimace as the very real veins in her arm stuck out from her effort. Hanako gave me a concerned glance and I shook my head; Miki knew what she was doing. Hopefully.

Finally, there was a loud series of cracks that made all of us jump, and Hisato cry lightly. Sighing in relief, Miki opened her hand to reveal the pencil, now split into three pieces.

“Ta-da!” she stated, “here, one for each of you!”

“Cool!” Akio declared.

“I’ll hang onto those,” I stated, “or you’ll just use them to annoy the twins when they get here.”

“Only if they bug us first,” Satomi countered.

Miki, breathing slightly harder then normal from the strain, hefted herself up and handed me the pencil pieces, which I shoved into one of my pant’s pockets.

“Kids,” Hanako said, “go say hi to Aunt Miya and Hisato –quietly, if he falls back asleep.”

The kids nodded and wandered off to Miya, Hanako close behind them. When they had left, Kenji and I turned to Miki, who was wincing and rubbing her artificial joints with her flesh and bone hand.

“You okay?” I asked.

[Hoitash]

Part III:

“Yeah,” Miki said, her grin still more of a grimace as she continued, “I’ll do a diagnostic tonight, but if anything was broken, I’d know.”

“That was awesome,” Kenji declared, “but stupid.”

Miki rolled her eyes, “ah, come on, you saw how much of a kick they got out of it. You gonna tell me you didn’t enjoy that?”

Kenji sighed and glanced at my left ear; I had been declared the Miki handler a while ago.

“They did, and I appreciate that,” I said, “just, remember those things aren’t designed to surpass human capabilities.”

Miki sighed and nodded, “I know. Trust me; after all the work I went through to get this baby, I ain’t about to screw it up.”

“Good to know,” I said, “moving on, then; you said everything was ready?”

Miki nodded, still rubbing her augmetic hand as she stated, “Food’s just about ready; we’ll bring it in when more guests arrive.”

“Which should be soon,” Kenji stated, “I think Akira and Lilly will be here in a bit.”

“Good. Any word on Naomi and Natsume?” I asked.

Kenji nodded, “last word was they had managed to get Maki to come without too much of a fuss. They’ll probably be here in a while.”

“That should be interesting,” Miki stated, “Naomi was the one telling everyone I was gay, right?”

“Clearly she had a crush on you and was projecting her desires into rumor-mongering,” I stated.

“More likely she heard what happened between you and Molly Kapur that one Halloween,” Kenji countered.

Miki jabbed a finger at Kenji, “hey, tequila was involved, so that doesn’t count!”

Kenji nodded, conceding the point, “I’m gonna go check on Hisato,” he said, then left before we could respond.

“Never pictured him as the father type,” Miki mused as she watched Kenji bolt for his son, “then again, back in high school I never woulda pegged him for much of anything but a skitzoid.”

“Well, he has his moments,” I stated.

Miki chuckled and turned to face me. She had stopped rubbing her hand and was now flexing it lightly, wincing slightly as she closed it.

I resisted the urge to ask again if she was okay as one of the doors opened and Mio popped her head into the room.

“Two torpedoes inbound,” she declared, then retreated.

Miki chuckled, “this aughtta be good.”

The door had barely closed when it swung open widely and two blue blurs zoomed into the room. The blurs bolted for Hanako –nearly running over Satomi in the process- and stopped in front of her, making Hanako step back from the table in surprise.

“Everyone,” Miki said, “these are my sons, Haruto and Kichiro, though I generally call them Khaki and Kaki.”

I took a step to the left to examine Miki’s children, who she had spoken of quite often, but I had never met. They were both wearing blue shirts and brown shorts, but the taller of the two had slightly darker skin and cropped black hair. The shorter of the two had Miki’s gray/purple hair color, and it was slightly longer. Even though they had stopped running, as they stood they constantly rocked on the balls of their feet, and I noticed each one was clutching a small collection of books in their hands.

“Hello, Mrs. Nakai!” the taller one chirped.

“Can you sign our books?” the other one asked.

“I take it the taller one is Haruto?” I asked Miki in a low voice.

Miki nodded, her expression somewhere between irritated and mildly amused, “you two better show some manners, or I’ll give the dishwashers the night off!”

The two boys turned to face their mother, “sorry, Mom!” they said, then turned back to face Hanako, who had gone from apprehensive and surprised to apprehensively bemused.

“Mrs. Nakai,” Haruto said, bowing deeply, “would you please sign our copies of your books?”

“It would mean a great deal to us,” Kichiro added, also bowing deep enough to be roughly parallel to the floor.

Miki smirked and snorted, “That’s more like it.”

Hanako blinked blankly a couple times before smiling. She lowered herself onto one knee while reaching for a pen in her suit jacket, “I-I would be delighted to, Mr.’s Akiyama.”

The two boys jolted upright, their wide grins apparent even from the other side of the room.

I glanced at Miki, “You weren’t kidding when you said they were fans.”

Miki turned to me and grinned, “They’re good kids, usually. You know how boys can be.”

“Yes,” I said, glancing at Akio as he and Kenji mock sword fought with some butter knives, “yes I do.”

Deciding to go say hi to Miya, I wandered past Hanako and her impromptu book signing, and around the table to stand next to her, on the opposite end of where Kenji and Akio were goofing around.

“Hey Hisao,” Miya said, gently rocking Hisato as she sat.

“Hey,” I said, “how’s Hisato?”

“He’s just fine,” Miya said, smiling gently to her son before cooing, “aren’t you, Little One?”

[Hoitash]

Part IV:

Hisato opened his eyes to smile at his mother, then yawned and started fussing.

“It’s alright,” Miya cooed. Standing up, she glanced up at me, “he’s probably hungry, so I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Take your time,” I said, stepping aside to let Miya pass.

As Miya wandered out to tend to Hisato, I glanced back at Hanako, who was standing and walking over to me. Miki’s sons were watching Kenji and Akio’s antics, cheering them on quietly, but enthusiastically.

“Her boys seem like a handful,” I observed as Hanako stepped next to me.

Hanako shrugged, “they calmed down a bit when I finished signing the books. I think they appreciated that.”

“Miki told me they were big fans,” I said, “Sorry I didn’t mention it; I wasn’t expecting them.”

“Neither was I,” Miki aid, appearing behind Hanako and startling her slightly.

“Sorry, Hanako,” Miki said, “I thought one of the busboys was watching them, but according to Mio, they tripped him and tied him up to come down here. Since they managed not to break anything, I said they could stick around if they behave.”

“It’s alright,” Hanako said, turning to face Miki, “I’m glad they enjoyed it.”

“Just don’t let them talk to Kenji too much,” I warned, “or he might recruit them into some weird private detective youth club, or something.”

“Dad, duck!” Akio shouted.

I instinctively dropped to the ground just as a butter knife flew past where I had been, slamming into the wall with a thunk and clattering to the floor.

“My bad!” Kenji called.

“Are you okay?” Hanako asked, bending down to look me over.

“I’m fine,” I stated, checking my heart just to be safe. It seemed normal –well, for me at least- so I hefted myself up and dusted myself off.

Miki placed her hands on her hips and her face twitched as she suppressed a smirk to bark, “You two quit clownin’ around before you kill someone!”

“Yes, Mrs. Akiyama!” Akio called, “Sorry, Mrs. Akiyama!”

“Sorry, Miki,” Kenji added.

“That was awesome!” Haruto declared.

“Are you two behaving?” Miki asked.

“Yes, Mom!” Haruto and Kichiro declared.

Miki rolled her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, breathing shallowly through her mouth as the strain of sobriety took its toll on raising two sons, and dealing with a room full of kooks.

“It’s only gonna get worse,” I stated, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

As if to underscore my statement, Mio popped her head back into the room.

“The Hashimoto’s and Williams’ are here,” she said, then opened the door, while someone else opened the second door as well.

Hanako headed for the door almost immediately, and after a second to finish consoling Miki, I followed, with Miki close behind. Already in view thanks to the open doors, Lilly, George, Akira, and Daichi walked into the room, their kids close behind. Lilly didn’t get far before Hanako had tapped her arm to warn her of the impending hug.

“Hello, Hanako,” Lilly said as Hanako hugged her, the embrace somewhat awkward as Lilly still had one arm wrapped around George’s.

While I said hi to George and the pinstriped suited Daichi and Akira, their kids ambled in from behind them, allowing Mio to step in so she could take beverage orders. Akira and Daichi’s twin daughters, Carry and Chise, were first to fully enter the banquet room, their bright pink dresses a stark contrast to pretty much everything else around them. Behind them, Lilly and George’s daughter Hanaye was guiding her blind younger brother Thomas into the room, their outfits somewhat more muted.

“Hi, Uncle Hisao!” the kids greeted.

“Hi,” I returned, smiling and waving at the small group.

“You can stop guiding me now, Sis,” Thomas grumbled.

“Not yet,” Hanaye countered, “soon, okay?”

“Did I see Miya leave to feed Hisato?” Kenji asked, wandering over to my left.

“Yeah,” I replied

“Hey, Uncle Kenji!” the kids greeted.

Kenji jumped in surprise and darted his head down to see who was speaking. After focusing a moment, he grinned and replied, “Hey! Where are your parents?”

“Over here,” Akira replied, waving lightly with the hand not currently shoved into a pocket.

Kenji turned to face Akira while Mio bent down to ask the kids what they wanted to drink. Once he was sure who was speaking, Kenji stepped towards the two to shake their hands. While he did that, I looked back at Hanako, who was only now separating from Lilly.

“My my,” Lilly said, “It hasn’t been that long since we last met.”

Hanako pouted and sighed before muttering, “You know why I’m happy you’re here.”

Lilly frowned and nodded, “of course.”

“Hey,” Miki said, reminding me she had followed me, “and welcome.”

Lilly perked her head, confusion written on her expression. After a moment she smiled, “Miki, is that you?”

“The one and only!” Miki exclaimed, stepping forward to shake Lilly’s hand, “good to see you, Lils.”

[Hoitash]

Part V:

Lilly sighed at the nickname and nodded, “it’s good to meet you again, as well.”

“Hello,” George said, “pleased to meet you.”

Miki smirked, probably amused at George’s accent, then moved to shake his hand, “likewise, George. You’ll have to tell me sometime how you bagged the Amazonian bombshell here.”

George grinned and shrugged, “I just quoted some Miss Marple, and things took off from there.”

Lilly smiled and nodded, “He’s surprisingly knowledgeable about a…wide variety of subjects.”

Akira coughed something that sounded suspiciously like “otaku,” which earned her a pout from Lilly and a rather prideful smirk from George.

As Miki and Hanako greeted the new guests, I noticed Lilly’s blouse was a bit oversized to cover the bump of her latest pregnancy, which was still relatively early on at that point. Her silver cross and Saint Lucy medal were polished and caught the light as usual. George was wearing basically the same thing as Miki, only he had a light blue shirt on instead of white.

“So you’re Miki,” Akira stated, ambling over to shake her hand while Kenji spoke to George, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Same here,” Miki said, taking the proffered hand, “Akira, right?” when Akira nodded, Miki continued, “based on what I’ve heard, I wish I had known you before I hopped on the wagon; we woulda had a ton of fun, and I coulda used a hand in those days.”

Akira glanced at Miki’s augmetic hand, which was still twitching slightly, “well, you got one now, so everything musta worked out fine.”

Miki laughed and nodded, “I knew I’d like you! Mio, you gonna need a hand with all these orders?”

Mio, who had been about to walk out one of the doors, waved a hand in the air and called back, “I got it, Boss! You just chill and have fun.”

“Will do!” Miki replied, then moved to introduce herself to Daichi, who greeted her with his usual reserved nature, though he seemed amused by Akira’s forthrightness. The kids, meanwhile, wandered off to hang out with Akio and Satomi.

“You two behave,” Akira warned the twins.

“We will,” they said together, using their Twin Hive Mind to speak in unison, which also made their accent much more noticeable.

Akira snorted and rolled her eyes, which earned her an amused chuckle from Miki.

“Go on in, I’ll be around if you need anything,” she said, waving lightly and wandering off.

The group by the door dispersed, Hanako going to check on Refia, while George, Akira, Daichi, and Lilly made their way to some seats. Kenji stayed by the door, waiting for Miya to return.

“Big crowd,” he said, staring at the door.

I nodded, “Yeah; I was worried Hanako wouldn’t like the idea, but she did, so you were right.”

“Is she having fun?” he asked, his gaze still fixed strait ahead.

I glanced back at Hanako, who was smiling brightly as she sat to talk with Lilly, one hand holding a glass of wine, another Refia’s arm. The two paused their conversation for a moment as Hanako told off the twins, who were chasing Miki’s sons around the table.

“I’d say so,” I stated.

Kenji nodded, smirking lightly, “good.”

I sighed and joined Kenji in his waiting; his paranoid streak had ramped up a bit since his son was born, and I knew it would take time for it to mellow back down. Miya took it in stride, and I was grateful for her energy and soothing aura. No doubt Kenji was, too.

“We’re back,” Miya declared as she appeared through the door, which Mio had propped open with her foot, her hands full with a tray of drinks, “Little One made quite a racket after he ate, so I had to calm him down.”

Kenji grinned, “No problem; I’m the nut waiting by the door.”

Miya sighed and rolled her eyes, then took a moment to scan the room, “oh, more people showed up?”

Kenji nodded, “Hanako’s friend Lilly and her sister Akira, and their families. Wanna go say hi?”

Miya nodded and the two wandered off –Hisato in tow, of course- to greet Lilly and the rest. As they did so, Mio walked in and placed the tray down, handing out drinks and muttering something to Miki.

“Hey, Hisao,” Miki said, “you’re expecting nine more, right?”

“Yeah,” I replied, “but Emi and Kwan will be a bit late, so when Misha and Shizune get here, you can bring out the food.”

“Got it,” Miki stated.

Having finished handing out drinks, Mio trotted out the door. It hadn’t quite completely swung shut when she grabbed it and poked her head back inside the room.

“The Inoue’s are here,” she stated, just before the door swung open and a light orange clad figure dashed passed her towards Miki.

I debated trying to curtail the scene Naomi was about to make, but reining her in was like trying to fight the tide with a broom. Deciding that trying to stop her would be futile, that I didn’t have time to try in any case, and that she may as well get the matter off her mind, I stood back and watched the show.

Naomi, wearing a light orange dress that matched the dyed streaks she had added to her blond hair, bolted toward a startled Miki and immediately started blathering, “MikiIamsosorryItoldeveryoneatYamakuyouweregayitsjustyouwerealwayshangingoutwithguysandwearingaboysuniformshirtandyouhavethatawesomerackandImayhave fantasizedaboutitafewtimesdon’ttellNatsuIsaidthat-”

“I can hear you, ya know,” Natsume said, her Kansai accent as striking a presence as her fashionable attire.

[Hoitash]

Part VI:

Having walked into the room at a much more sedate pace, it had obviously taken her a moment to catch up with her partner. She glanced over at me and smiled, waving her free hand while leaning casually on an old wooden cane with the other, which was as much a fashion accessory as a movement aide.

Naomi had paused at hearing her partner speak, and Miki took advantage of the fact to clamp her left hand firmly over Naomi’s mouth.

Grinning lightly, Miki said, “Calm down, Chatterbox, before you give yourself an episode.”

Miki lowered her hand slowly. Naomi closed her eyes, inhaled, exhaled, opened her eyes, and, much more calmly, bowed deeply and clapped her hands in front of her, “as I said, sorry, Miki.”

“You’re forgiven; now forget about it,” Miki stated, patting Naomi lightly on the back, “I don’t like it when guests get all stuffy with me. Besides, if I got drunk enough, gender didn’t matter much to me.”

While Miki continued to console Naomi, with Hanako getting up to greet the new guest, I wandered over to Natsume, who was smirking at her partner over the rim of her glasses with her mismatched eyes –one brown, one yellow. Her brown hair was cropped short, and she was wearing a skirt and blouse that matched the stain of the cane very well.

“Hey, Natsu,” I said, stopping a pace or three in front of her, “glad you three could make it.”

“Eep!” someone squealed around Natsume’s knees.

I glanced down and noticed a young girl about Akio’s age with long, black hair and Naomi’s garnet eyes. She was wearing a red dress with a plastic orange flower in her hair, and her eyes were wide with trepidation as she looked up at me.

Kneeling down to her level, I smiled and said, “Hey, Maki, I’m glad you could make it. I know Hana and Satomi were looking forward to seeing you, and you know Misha will, too.”

Maki Inoue, clutching her mother’s legs tightly, mumbled a response that I could barely hear, “Misha’s coming?”

I nodded, “uh-huh. She’ll be here soon, too, I bet.”

Maki looked about ready to leave Natsume’s leg-provided cover, but instead she gripped them tighter and scooted further behind her mother. Sensing a disturbance in the Force –or at least, the movement of air behind me that indicated fast paced motion- without looking behind me I asked, “Carry, Chise?”

“Yes, Uncle Hisao?” the two asked.

“Why don’t you take Maki and find Satomi?” I requested.

“Okay!” they declared.

“That okay, Maki?” I asked.

Maki looked up at her mother, though she couldn’t see her face, “Momma?”

“Go ahead, dear,” Natsume said, grinning at the twins, “just make sure you say hi to Hanako, you hear?”

“Yes, Momma,” Maki replied.

“Great, let’s go!” the twins said, darting for Maki.

Maki yelped as the two charged forward, grabbing Maki and dragging her off. Chuckling, I hefted myself up and watched as Natsume sighed at the three, Maki’s whimpers of anxiety drowned out by the twins jabbering efforts to reassure the older girl.

“She’ll be fine,” I declared.

“I know,” Natsume replied, “I just worry, ‘s all…. Pardon me; I better go say hi to Hana, myself.”

I nodded, and Natsume wandered off, using her cane as little as possible as she moved. Curious what Hanako was up to myself, I decided to watch as she spoke with Naomi, and once she had wandered over, Natsume.

Hanako was sitting while Refia rocked on her knee and lightly giggled. While Naomi blathered on, Natsume approached and took a seat on Hanako’s right side, the left still occupied by Lilly. Every now and then Hanako would glance at me or one of the children, and her beautiful, earnest smile seemed to glimmer each time I caught sight of it.

“Any idea when the rest’ll get here?” Miki asked.

I jumped and turned my head towards her; she had managed to sneak up on me while I was ogling my wife. Miki chuckled and pat my shoulder lightly, “easy there, Deadeye.”

I sighed and relaxed a bit; that was her nickname for me ever since I had dealt with some unruly thugs using a fancy Colt revolver, “sorry, just a bit anxious.”

Miki nodded, “worried about Hanako?”

I nodded, “and the kids, and the yet to arrive guests, and… something from a family friend.”

Miki raised an eyebrow at me, “Something, you say?”

“I tried to dissuade him from sending anything,” I stated, “but I felt like I had to accept in the end.”

“Nothing too garish, I hope,” Miki mused, “not after the pain in the ass finding that 1913 Sears Deluxe motorcycle was.”

I chuckled, “no, she’s still gushing about that thing. She’ll probably spend the whole summer working on it.”

The door creaked in and Mio popped into the room, but it was to refresh drinks, including placing a scotch on the rocks in my hand I didn’t remember ordering.

“On the house,” Mio said, handing Miki a glass of soda, “courtesy of Mr. Akiyama, who sends his regards.”

“Thank you,” I said, inclining my head slightly; Haruki had been detained in the kitchen for the evening, according to a text Kenji had sent me earlier in the day.

Mio grinned, nodded, and trotted off. I sipped my drink and glanced at Miki, “you run a good place.”

Miki nodded, “thanks, we do our best. Excuse me, I better go make sure my sons haven’t hogtied anyone.”

“I think I saw them trying to coax Maki from under a table,” I said, pointing to where I though they were. Miki nodded her thanks and trotted off.