Rin : Dreamy Encounters (UPDATE 10/30)

[AntonSlavik020]

I liked it. It wasn't my favorite, but it was well done. I can see a conversation between these two going like that, so you and Silver did a good job there. I think my favorite line was the one about Emi at 7 AM, though there were a lot of good ones.

[Mirage_GSM]

Interesting combination of characters, though that meeting would be hard canonically, since by the time Rin starts painting at Sae's Akira has already left for Scotland.
There are two or three lines where your Rin is a bit too...normal. She's asking about stuff Rin wouldn't usually be interested in etc. Also:

"You're of age right? I need a drink and I hate drinking alone, care to join me?"

She can't be of age if she attends Yamaku, and Akira should know that - not that she'd probably care, just saying.

Apart from these minor nitpicks it's a nice story. Thanks for sharing.

[Ben KSTF]

Interesting combination of characters, though that meeting would be hard canonically, since by the time Rin starts painting at Sae's Akira has already left for Scotland.
There are two or three lines where your Rin is a bit too...normal. She's asking about stuff Rin wouldn't usually be interested in etc. Also:

"You're of age right? I need a drink and I hate drinking alone, care to join me?"

She can't be of age if she attends Yamaku, and Akira should know that - not that she'd probably care, just saying.

Apart from these minor nitpicks it's a nice story. Thanks for sharing.

Yeah sometimes Rin is maybe too normal, although in the VN she isn't always random either. But I see your point.

For the departure to Scotland, you mean the definitive one? Since it doesn't happen in Shizune's route (for Lilly at least), we don't really know. I admit that I didn't consider it though ^^

[Mirage_GSM]

Lilly's appearance in Shizune's route was a continuity error.
Both Lilly and Akira are suposed to have left in all routes but Lilly's.