When the alarm goes off the next day, I find myself waking up without much complaint. I guess my body's learning to anticipate this new schedule. I also fell asleep rather early last night. I never really had any sort of routine before. It’s kind of nice. I’m halfway through taking my pills before I even realize I started. That’s convenient. I’m not likely to forget about taking them if it’s already a habit. I grab my things and make my way toward the auxiliary building.
It's a little odd being up and about before the sun has actually risen. It's no longer dark out, as the first rays of sunlight have already appeared, but the sun itself is nowhere to be seen. Needless to say, the grounds are more or less abandoned, with the occasional glimpse of a security guard or one of the few other early risers. I almost think I could get used to these peaceful early mornings.
As I enter the auxiliary building, it occurs to me that the lighting never changes here. It gives the building a sense of timelessness, probably for the sake of the nursing staff working around the clock.
The changing room is rather well-appointed. It would have to be, to cater to the various needs of the students. There are lockers and benches, a large communal shower and several smaller shower stalls and the same toilets that would be expected in any public bathroom.
I enter the pool area to find Shizune and Misha waiting for me. Today, however, they're both wearing simple one-piece racerbacks, colored green with a broad white stripe running down either side. A little old-fashioned, but they both seem to wear them well. Misha is also wearing a green swim cap, having managed to tuck all her hair under it by arcane methods known only to women.
“Good morning, you two. Why the matching suits?”
Misha waves enthusiastically as usual. “Good morning, Hicchan~!”
I never thought about it before, but her smiles are rather infectious. Even when I'm feeling lousy, seeing her cheer makes me want to smile too.
“Shicchan says that the whole Student Council is doing this, so it should be a student council event! That means we should be representing Yamaku, by wearing our uniform swimsuits.” Misha pauses, glancing at me. “Where's yours, Hicchan?”
I have an easy answer for the moment. It won't last long, but it should buy me enough time to think up a better excuse, “I was never told about this new uniform requirement.”
“Hahaha, I guess you weren't, Hicchan!” she laughs, then puts on her “serious” face. “But you'd better be ready for tomorrow, okay~?”
I sigh. They'll figure it out sooner or later, so I may as well give them an explanation, “I don't have any gym clothes...”
“Oh,” Misha replies, looking a little deflated, then she becomes alarmed as it sinks in. There's only one reason I wouldn't have gym clothes. “Oh! I'm so sorry!”
At first I feel insulted that she's started thinking of me as a cripple. Then I notice that she seems to be blushing, as if ashamed of some sort of mistake. I guess this is how it feels to be on the receiving end of thoughtless comments. I've made enough myself, so I can hardly blame her.
“It's okay,” I reply, brushing it off, “there's no reason you would have known.” There really isn't. The gym classes are segregated, so they wouldn't notice my absence anyway. “I was excused from gym class because of my... condition.”
Misha's eyes start to wander as she attempts to formulate a response, as if she were looking for inspiration. Even with my dismissal, it's hard to dispel the awkwardness. After what feels like an eternity, a loud snap brings us back to reality. As we turn toward Shizune, she starts signing, clearly annoyed by the distraction.
“Stretch?” Misha responds, forgetting to translate. “Oh, right! We're supposed to be swimming~.” She smiles, as if the uncomfortable moment had never happened. “Are you ready, Hicchan?”
This time, Shizune joins us for the stretching, a look of determination written on her face. Removing her glasses, she approaches the pool and makes a passable dive. Then things go sour.
She takes to the water not like a fish, but rather a housecat. A housecat that has been woken from a nap by being thrown into a pool. After a moment of flailing, she rights herself, sets her face once again, and makes an acceptable attempt at swimming toward the far end of her lane. I feel bad for her. No wonder she doesn't like swimming. With a shrug, I dive in to start my laps, and I hear the splash of Misha joining soon after.
I start strong, but after a few laps I'm starting to feel my muscles complain. I’m still not used to this level of exercise, but my heart seems okay, so I press on. By my final lap, my arms and legs feel like they're on fire, but I manage to make it to the end.
As I pull myself out of the pool, I notice that Shizune is already out and is wrapped in a towel. Her hair is uncharacteristically disheveled, but she seems to have tried fixing it. Unsuccessfully. She seems upset. She must be rather self-conscious about her performance. Our eyes meet, and she just looks straight into mine. I break contact to grab my own towel and begin drying off, but her eyes follow me. I don't know near enough sign language to communicate, so we just end up looking at each other.
Misha is done not too long after me, and Shizune begins signing at her the moment she's out of the pool. “I need to take care of something. I'll see you in class.” Seeming to understand the words only after she repeats them, Misha begins to look distressed. “You're going, Shicchan?”
Shizune nods and is about to turn around when I manage to signal for her attention. Making use of my basic understanding of sign language, I manage to construct a rudimentary sentence, [You. O. K.]
Unsure of how to convey that it's a question, I resort to drawing a question mark in the air. She gives a weak smile, probably at my poor attempt, then signs back to me. “Shicchan says 'I'm fine.'”
Not sure what to do, we watch Shizune vanish into the changing room. After she's gone, Misha turns to me. “I think Shicchan needs some space, so I'll do some more swimming. I haven't even dried, after all~! Hahaha!” Her laughter turns to a gentle but stern lecture in an instant. “You need to go see the nurse before he gets mad at both of us.” Then she’s back to a cheerful smile. “I'll meet you after you're done so we can have breakfast, okay? Okay~!”
My orders given, I dutifully make my way to the changing room.
*
I see Emi leaving the nurse's office as I approach again. It seems like this will be a regular occurrence. She flashes me a smile and gives a mocking “Hi, Hicchan!” before she runs off.
“May as well skip the knock and come in, Nakai,” comes the familiar voice from the office. He smirks as I walk in. “Hicchan, eh?”
I grimace. “Don't you even start.”
His grin widens, showing off his teeth. “Relax, Nakai, I'm not interested,” he teases, then gives me an uncomfortably suggestive glance, “unless, of course, you're interested?”
I can't even begin to process, much less respond, before he switches to full professional mode, “For future reference, it would probably be better for you to come here right after you're done swimming. Just quickly dry yourself off and come in your swim clothes. You can change afterward. It kind of defeats the purpose if you've taken enough time to fully cool down before I can take a look, after all.”
The checkup seems to be rather routine, and he seems satisfied, dismissing me with an exhortation to keep up the good work.
The hall outside the office is unexpectedly empty. Didn't Misha say she'd meet me here? I don't see any sign of her, so it's possible she's still playing with her hair or something. I walk over to the entrance of the girls' changing room and am about to knock when Misha bursts out. Of course. She manages to call out, “Hicchan, are you still there? Wait up for me~!” right before running headlong into me.
I'm okay, since the impact was... well, “cushioned,” and she seems no worse for wear.
“There you are, Hicchan. What a relief~!” She visibly relaxes. Was she afraid that I'd leave without her? Her eyes narrow. “Wait a minute... Why were you standing outside the girls' changing room? Were you planning something naughty?”
Of course my tongue fails me, and I'm unable to respond. On the other hand, it's not like I could think of something to say, even if I could say anything.
“That won't do at all, Hicchan,” she clucks disapprovingly. “You shouldn't be doing naughty things on an empty stomach~. Let's go to the cafeteria for breakfast!”
…Wait, what?
*
Another meal, another strange concoction for Misha to eat. This time it appears to be watermelon mixed with some white bits of something. It looks too solid and textured to be tofu, so I'm going to guess cheese. I wonder if I'll ever get used to her unusual tastes in food.
“So, Misha,” I begin.
“Hmm?” she asks, clearly more interested in her breakfast.
“Last night-”
“Could you just forget about anything I did last night?” That uncomfortable expression again. “I get silly and say weird things when I'm sleepy like that.”
I don't remember her doing anything unusual. “No, that's not what I was talking about. You said you were the Student Council vice president.”
“Wahahaha! That's because I am~, Hicchan!”
“So even when it was the two of you, you were president and vice president?”
With a dramatic flourish, Misha imitates Shizune, adjusting her non-existent glasses arrogantly. “A proper Student Council needs officers, with important-sounding titles.”
It's a solid impression of a deaf-mute, all things considered. Even the signing looks like Shizune's.
“That's pretty good,” I chuckle, “but doesn't that mean that I should have a title, too?”
“Wahahaha~! You think so?” Without waiting for an answer, she continues, “Of course you have a title, Hicchan~. You're the Student Council deputy!”
“Student Council deputy? You mean like a sheriff?”
“Hahahaha, no~, Hicchan, that would be silly. The deputy takes care of the day-to-day operations while the president and vice president handle the leadership roles~.”
I see where this is going.
“In other words,” I respond, unimpressed, “I do all the work while you two 'manage?'”
“Wahahahaha! Yup~!” she laughs boisterously, then notices that I'm significantly less amused. “Cheer up, Hicchan! The deputy's the third most powerful position in the Student Council~.”
Third most powerful. Out of a Student Council of three. What an honor.
The instant the conversation slows down, Misha focuses on eating. I guess she needs to eat when she can, since talking uses her hands.
I still can't get over the idea that she's eating watermelon and cheese. “I can't help but wonder,” I begin, “what gave you the idea to eat that for breakfast?”
She glances down at her food as if I could have been referring to something else. “This? It's Mediterranean~.”
That rules out her just randomly throwing food together.
“Fair enough, I guess. But why are you eating it? How did you even learn something like that?”
“Hahahaha, good question, Hicchan~!” she flashes one of her winning smiles, “It's because I want to eat all the delicious foods! I can't do that if I don't know about it, right~? Right!”
That's all well and good, but something seems a little off...
“But don't you always order the same thing for takeout? And at the Shanghai?”
Her smile falters a little, and she lowers her eyes toward her breakfast. “Shicchan says it's childish to keep trying new things. She thinks you should just find something you like and stick to that. So I usually eat the same stuff when she's around...”
That doesn't make much sense, and I doubt Shizune cares, but Misha seems to think it's a pretty big deal. “Don't worry,” I reassure her, “we can keep it our little secret.”
Upon hearing this, she cheers up considerably. “Really, Hicchan? Thanks~! I knew I could trust you!”
It's amazing how much value she places on those little things. I must admit, my curiosity is getting the better of me, “You said you like to eat delicious foods. Is that delicious?” I ask, gesturing toward her food.
Her eyes widen as her spoon sits in her mouth. She somehow manages to chew around it then swallow. Removing the spoon, she replies, “Most people aren't interested in my food. They think it's gross, and won't even taste it... I wouldn't eat it if I didn't love it...”
There she goes looking depressed again. And, surprisingly enough, she's gotten rather quiet. If it weren't Misha, I'd imagine she was fishing for a response. The more time I spend with her, the more I get the sense that she just thinks out loud.
Either way, it feels like I have no choice. “I think it looks good,” I lie.
As Misha's smile returns, I start to wonder if I'm putting her through some sort of emotional roller-coaster. She's not mentally unstable or anything, is she? I'm pretty sure she mentioned something about Yamaku not taking students with mental disabilities, so that's not likely. Besides, she said herself that there's nothing wrong with her.
“You think so? You can try some, if you want.”
As soon as she stops signing, she fills her spoon and holds it out toward me. It takes every effort for me to not cringe. Cheese is usually disgusting, and the watermelon probably makes it soggy and gross. Too late to turn back now, though. If I refuse, she'll know I lied, and I'd feel terrible.
Cautiously, I take the utensil from her and bring the food to my mouth. I've had foul-tasting medicine before, so how bad could it be? Steeling myself, I take a bite...
…And am surprised that it's actually not too bad. The texture's a little weird, and I still think cheese is one of the craziest ideas for food ever, but I don't feel like gagging or anything.
Finishing the bite, I hand the spoon back to her. She watches me expectantly.
“It's... actually pretty good,” I admit, stretching the truth far less than I feared.
“Yay!” she celebrates, perhaps a bit too loudly, “Hicchan likes it~!”
Somehow the cafeteria crowd hasn't learned to tune Misha out, and her outburst seems to be attracting some attention. I realize I ate off the same spoon as her. Isn't that considered some sort of indirect kiss or something? That's the kind of thing that starts rumors. And Misha and Shizune would blame it on me, of course...
“Do you want some more?” she offers, perhaps a bit too eagerly.
“No, thanks,” I respond, “you worked harder than me this morning. You need it more. I'd feel terrible if you went hungry because I ate all your food.”
It's technically true. The fact that it allows me to avoid eating more cheese is simply a bonus.
Misha seems to think about this for a little bit, then nods. “You're right, I have been working harder than you. If I go too easy on you, the nurse will be disappointed... Okay! Okay, okay~! Starting tomorrow, we'll be pushing harder! I'm going to make sure you're hungry enough to eat all the food we get! Wahahahaha!”
It's official. I can't win, no matter what I do.
*
Even after breakfast, we arrive in the classroom early. As promised, Shizune is already there, waiting for us. Misha and Shizune start talking immediately once we get to our seats. Their conversation continues as the rest of the students filter in, followed by the teacher. By the end of the discussion, Misha looks quite downcast. Unfortunately, class starts before I can ask her about it. She stays remarkably quiet through the lesson, which is a little unnerving. I was starting to get used to her distracting me with her chatter.
Shortly before class ends, Misha discreetly passes me a hastily scrawled note. While the teacher is distracted, I sneak a glance.
“Lunch in student council room. Emergency meeting.”
I wish I could get out of this, but I did join the Student Council. It's only fair that I participate. Besides, our workload has been surprisingly light this week.
*
I'm in no rush to get to this “emergency meeting,” so I wave Misha and Shizune to go ahead while I pack up my books. Surprisingly, they don't protest. I guess they're starting to trust me. I immediately betray that trust by thinking I should sneak away but decide that would be a bad idea. My head still hurts a little from Misha's last rebuke.
I enter the student council room to find the two of them casually sitting on two of the desks lined up along the walls, a collection of convenience store food piled on the table in the middle of the room. Before I get a chance to approach the food, Shizune begins signing, with Misha dutifully translating.
“Due to ex-ten-u-at-ing cir-cum-stan-ces, we're going to have your sign language lesson now. Sign language~? I thought you said this was about Student Council, Shicchan?”
Shizune rolls her eyes, then begins signing an explanation.
“It's related to Student Council because I have a presentation for the Board today? I don't think that really counts, Shicchan...”
A few curt gestures indicate that this isn't a matter for discussion. Resigned, Misha turns to me to start whatever lesson she had planned, or, more likely, whatever she manages to think up on the fly. Before she can even begin to speak, Shizune slaps her hand on the desk next to her and begins lecturing at a rapid pace. It's all Misha can do to keep up with her, barely able to process the words before she repeats them.
The lecture is about tone and the fact that sign language uses your whole body, not just your hands. Body language and facial expressions are important as well. My incompetence this morning must have left an impression on her.
I try to position myself so that I can look at both Shizune and Misha at the same time. Shizune wants me to look at her while she “speaks,” but it's hard to hear what's being said if I'm not looking at Misha. As the lesson goes on, beads of sweat form on Misha's brow, the strain of relaying Shizune's rapid stream of words wearing her down. Her voice also becomes increasingly taut as she continues speaking at Shizune's pace. Finally, she throws her arms up, signalling Shizune to stop, at the same time yelling, “Slow down, Shicchan!”
Stunned, Shizune pauses, a look of concern crossing her face. Misha has placed her head in her hands, gently massaging her temples. Occasionally, she takes a sip from her nearby drink. I glance at the clock. Shizune's been signing non-stop for twenty minutes, with Misha translating the whole time. It's impressive that Misha was able to last that long, barely able to take a breath the whole time. I guess Shizune doesn't think about voice strain when she “talks.” Even at that, she's rolling her wrists and cracking her knuckles. I guess it wasn't easy on her either.
The momentary reprieve is enough for me to remember that I'm hungry and that it's lunch time. I take advantage of the pause in the lesson to grab some food from the table. I would check on Misha, but she looks like she wants us to back off and give her some space. I hope she's okay.
I don't really care what I get, and end up with a melon roll.
I hear a heavy thud on the desk next to me, and see that Shizune placed a thick hardbound book on the table, its title covered by a sheet of notebook paper. By the time I react, she's already headed out the door. I notice that the sheet of paper has a note written on it. Shizune's neat, precise script bears an equally professional message:
“The presentation is at 2:00. I will not be in class this afternoon. Make sure Misha eats and goes to class. The book is due back to the library on Tuesday.”
Those last two lines seem odd. I can't imagine Misha not eating. I can imagine her skipping class, but that's usually on Shizune's encouragement. And why would it be so important that we take care of her library book that isn't due for a week?
I scan the food on the table to see if there's anything unusual in the pile. Misha did say she likes trying new foods. It's all pretty ordinary, so I just grab a pork bun for her. She still has her head in her hands. I can see her mouth moving slightly, as if she's mumbling something to herself. Suddenly, she hops to her feet, shouting cheerfully.
“Okay~! Okay, okay, okay~. I'm ready to continue~!”
She pauses, then looks around, somewhat confused. “Where's Shicchan?”
I shrug and hand her the pork bun and the note. “She left.”
Misha thanks me as she accepts the food and begins to puzzle over the note, taking bites as she reads. She's taking quite a bit of time to read it. Is she looking for coded messages? “What book is Shicchan talking about?”
“This one, I guess,” I respond, reaching for the book. I notice that it's about sign language.
“That's a good one~,” Misha comments. “It's one of the books I used to learn back when I first... started to learn sign language~. Shicchan must want you to read it.”
That solves that mystery. Even with that one down, though, there's still plenty to go around.
“How can Shizune give a presentation without you?” I ask, somewhat perplexed by the omission. “Aren't you her interpreter?”
“Hahaha, I'm not really~ her interpreter. You have to be specially certified to be an official interpreter. So~! I can't translate for Shicchan in an official capacity. She has her brother record her presentations, and the board has a certified interpreter in case they have any questions for her. So no need for Misha~.”
This is the first I've heard of Shizune's brother. I was under the impression that she was an only child. If Shizune's brother is anything like she is, he must have an impressive commanding voice, and a stature to match. I wonder if I'll ever get the chance to meet him.
I'm about to ask Misha what was bothering her earlier today when the warning bell rings. I guess it'll have to wait until after classes.
“Shizune says I need to make sure you go to class, whether you like it or not,” I joke, secretly hoping that Shizune's concerns were unfounded and it actually is just a joke.
“Wahahaha~! Don't worry, Hicchan, I'll come quietly~!”
I wince at her volume. Somehow, I doubt she can do anything quietly.
*
After classes, I manage to catch Misha before she walks out. “Hey, Misha, do you have a minute?”
She pauses and bites her lip, her eyes drifting toward the ceiling as she thinks. “I guess I have a few minutes, Hicchan. I have some important student council paperwork, and I need to study for that history test, but I always have time for a friend~!”
Ugh, history test. Don't remind me. “You seemed a little down this morning after talking to Shizune. Is something the matter?”
“Oh, that…” She grimaces. “Shicchan said she won't be able to join us for our swimming in the morning anymore...”
That seems a silly reason to get upset, but I figure I shouldn't push the issue.
“Since you're here, Hicchan, I guess I can get your opinion~. Our swimming isn't a student council event anymore, so I don't need~ to wear my uniform. But it is rather nice~... What do you think, Hicchan?”
I hesitate. What kind of a question is that? Girls don't just ask guys what they should wear... do they? Is this some kind of a test? I guess I do have an opinion on the subject, but it's safer to be noncommittal.
“I don't know. It's just a swimsuit, right? Wear whatever you want, I guess.”
Misha puffs her cheeks out in annoyance. Wrong answer. “You should have an opinion on these kinds of things, Hicchan. Shicchan says that you're at your best when you have an opinion and stick to it.”
Her expression shifts to what I could only guess is mild disappointment. “No one knows what you're thinking unless you have the courage to say it, Hicchan. I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't want your opinion.”
I guess I did take the coward's way out. Shizune has a point, and she would know. No wonder she comes off as forceful. She has trouble telling people what she thinks, whether or not she wants to.
I notice that no one else is left in the classroom. Everyone must have been in a hurry to get out of here. Not that I blame them.
Just the two of us. In a classroom. Alone. And I already blew it.
Misha plops herself on top of a nearby desk with all the elegance of a drunken elephant. “While we're here, Hicchan, I wanted to apologize~. For this morning.”
I open my mouth to dismiss the matter, but she holds up a finger, arresting me with a steely-eyed gaze. Her gold eyes are surprisingly commanding.
“There are lots of students here who can't hide what's wrong with them, so they're really casual about it. There's no use pretending otherwise, so they have no shame about it.”
Her eyes fall to her hands, translating what she's saying as she speaks. “And then there are the people who can hide their disabilities. Some of them are comfortable about it, and just as casual. But the others... It's so easy to pretend there's nothing wrong. But they can't lie to themselves. And it hurts all the more because they're so ashamed of it...”
She looks up at me again, her eyes meeting my own. I don't see any tears, but her eyes do look a little red. “I know I can't really understand what you go through, Hicchan. I don't know what brought you to Yamaku, and I don't care. But it's not you – you're not your disability, Hicchan. You'll always be Hicchan, no matter what happens to you.”
I really don't know how to respond to that, so I just stand there, transfixed by her piercing gaze. I never would have expected this from Misha. Given her position, she must think about this a lot.
Misha hops down from the desk, breaking eye contact. “I should be going now.”
I finally find my voice and speak up. “Misha?” She stops and turns around, waiting for me to continue. “What is it like? To be here without a disability?”
Now it's Misha's turn to hesitate. After a moment, she gives a resigned chuckle. “Haha, I guess it's only fair~. I can't answer your question. I don't know the answer.” She pauses for a moment, then turns to leave. “I'll see you tomorrow morning, okay, Hicchan?”
I nod absentmindedly. Satisfied, Misha skips out of the room, appearing to all the world as if this conversation never happened. With no reason left to stay, I leave shortly afterward.
Act 2 Scene 2 Part 2 |
Act 2 Scene 4
