Arranged Marriage?techk8 wrote:I dunno. I'm expected to marry a hot sexy beautiful rich smart funny kind Korean girl.
I wish I was making this up.
Meeting the Parents...
- imperial.standard
- Posts: 95
- Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2012 11:37 am
Re: Meeting the Parents...
Re: Meeting the Parents...
Man this topic is getting kind of sad
It's really bad that so many open-minded people can have traditional/stubborn/obnoxious parents that wouldn't react well with people with 'disabilities'.
My mom would receive any girl I bring her open-mindedly and be really tactful about it (except accidents like "I see" to a blind person). If she understands that said girl is the one I love and want to be with her, she wouldn't care how is the girl at all.
It's really bad that so many open-minded people can have traditional/stubborn/obnoxious parents that wouldn't react well with people with 'disabilities'.
My mom would receive any girl I bring her open-mindedly and be really tactful about it (except accidents like "I see" to a blind person). If she understands that said girl is the one I love and want to be with her, she wouldn't care how is the girl at all.
Re: Meeting the Parents...
My mom's a nurse and my dad's very open-minded. I doubt they'd so much as bat an eyelash if I told them I was dating a disabled woman. Reaction probably would have been the same back when I was in high school; I'm sure they would have been pretty chill if I introduced them to any of the KS girls.
Hisao's parents might be another story. From their total lack of contact with him after he gets shipped off to Yamaku, I get the feeling they already feel ashamed to have a son with a chronic life-threatening health condition, and wouldn't take too well to him carrying on with a "cripple." Lilly and Shizune might get passes because they're from wealthy families, and maybe Emi because she's the most able to pass as "normal."
Hisao's parents might be another story. From their total lack of contact with him after he gets shipped off to Yamaku, I get the feeling they already feel ashamed to have a son with a chronic life-threatening health condition, and wouldn't take too well to him carrying on with a "cripple." Lilly and Shizune might get passes because they're from wealthy families, and maybe Emi because she's the most able to pass as "normal."
Re: Meeting the Parents...
I actually think that Hisao's parents might take it better than other parents, having a son with a disability too. Maybe sending him to a school like Yamaku might've already made their minds that their son may pick up a girl there, and chances are that she would've a disability of her own.
- imperial.standard
- Posts: 95
- Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2012 11:37 am
Re: Meeting the Parents...
It wasn't as much "bad" as it was "oh well" kind... each generation will always feel the generation above them to be uptight and the one comes after to be more corrupt. It's a social norm evolution thingie.anarki wrote:Man this topic is getting kind of sad
It's really bad that so many open-minded people can have traditional/stubborn/obnoxious parents that wouldn't react well with people with 'disabilities'.
Re: Meeting the Parents...
I'm not really comfortable with this kind of question.
At the same time I just don't understand the whole "let's make it sound better than it is" trend.
At the same time, I wouldn't hesitate to privately call my hipotetical disabled girlfriend "my little cripple" if sure she would apreciate the joke. It's not the word nigga, it's how you use it.
The same thing with talking around disabled person. Why cringe if you use "Can you SEE it now?" while talking to a visually impaired? It's a figure of speech, the person is not really expected to see anything with her eyes, whether she is able or not. How about going for a WALK with a wheelchair user? How about asking for a "helping HAND" from a Rin kind of person? Can't You say to Hanako, that she have to FACE her problems if you think it's what she is supposed to do?
And finally, I don't really get the great deal with Hanako-like girlfriend. Her problem is not her looks, but her personal issues.
Why? Because it tries to distinguish the situation from: "How are you suppose to react when Your son brings home anyone (why think it would be invariably a girl? ), as his significant other.?" I would try to be polite, and would freak out inside for sure, but the whole exceptionality thing just doesn't fit as a problem.boredism wrote:How are you suppose to react when your ,in this case, son brings home a girl with an exceptionality?
At the same time I just don't understand the whole "let's make it sound better than it is" trend.
Sounds very USA (am I right?). I wouldn't feel any better if bound to a wheelchair some time in the future I was expected to call myself an Exceptional person. The word can be use as an insult as well.boredism wrote:Slightly Unrelated Fun Facts from an Exceptionalities Support Worker!Handicapped is actually very politically incorrect, it is actually a taboo word, the Person's With Disabilities
At the same time, I wouldn't hesitate to privately call my hipotetical disabled girlfriend "my little cripple" if sure she would apreciate the joke. It's not the word nigga, it's how you use it.
The same thing with talking around disabled person. Why cringe if you use "Can you SEE it now?" while talking to a visually impaired? It's a figure of speech, the person is not really expected to see anything with her eyes, whether she is able or not. How about going for a WALK with a wheelchair user? How about asking for a "helping HAND" from a Rin kind of person? Can't You say to Hanako, that she have to FACE her problems if you think it's what she is supposed to do?
And finally, I don't really get the great deal with Hanako-like girlfriend. Her problem is not her looks, but her personal issues.
Last edited by NoOne3 on Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:27 am, edited 2 times in total.
Re: Meeting the Parents...
IMO, just like first-name basis, this might be a thing of proximity to the person you're talking to, because, as far as we know, there should be people without arms that do not mind "giving a hand". But don't you think that there may be people who take that as a bad thing coming from a (semi-)stranger?NoOne3 wrote:The same thing with talking around disabled person. Why cringe if you use "Can you SEE it now?" while talking to a visually impaired?
It can be a timing issue too. I for myself would avoid talking about said person giving me a 'hand' if he'd just lost his arms. Everyone know it's a figure of speech, but if there is the possibility (if you don't know for sure) that someone might take it the wrong way or be hurt by it, I only think it's tactless to bring it up. With time, one gets used to his condition and even jokes about it (like Emi).
edit: grammar
Re: Meeting the Parents...
I believe Lilly shrugs it off too, and eventually Hisao can speak freely about his heart problem.anarki wrote:IMO, just like first-name basis, this might be a thing of proximity to the person you're talking to, because, as far as we know, there should be people without arms that do not mind "giving a hand". But don't you think that there may be people who take that as a bad thing coming from a (semi-)stranger?NoOne3 wrote:The same thing with talking around disabled person. Why cringe if you use "Can you SEE it now?" while talking to a visually impaired?
It can be a timing issue too. I for myself would avoid talking about said person giving me a 'hand' if he'd just lost his arms. Everyone know it's a figure of speech, but if there is the possibility (if you don't know for sure) that someone might take it the wrong way or be hurt by it, I only think it's tactless to bring it up. With time, one gets used to his condition and even jokes about it (like Emi).
edit: grammar
Re: Meeting the Parents...
Wow, didn't really expect to get this many replies...
But anyways to the topics at hand, figures of speech and whatnot I think will really depend on situation and tone of voice.
If you said "Do you need a *HAND*?" with a heavy intonation on hand it would obviously be offensive.
While if it was just said casually the person (in this case Rin) will just pass it off.
Even if you said something by mistake to Hanako I think she would just pass it off as well, she isn't that fragile.
I am relatively surprised though about how everyone seems to be so open minded about it. That if they were the parent they would be awkward but not shunning them. There are a lot of old fashion parents it seems, can't really say I blame them, they want their kids to have a good normal life, and having a lover who has some exceptionality is not the most normal thing to do.
I know tons of people who would despise it if their kid brought a lover like this home. They do not mind it if it is the random person on the street, a casual friend, but once it gets to become family they become... overprotective...
I do understand the plight of young siblings being untactful and blunt, never actually thought about it since I only have older siblings who would just snicker and sneer behind my back if I brought anyone home. I know if I brought any one of the girls from KS home everyone will be very distant and talk quite a bit behind our back. It would also be very awkward. I feel bad if I brought Hanako back since a large part of my family care a lot about the look and the social outlook of having someone different. Lily and Shizune might not be dissed as much due to their financial wellbeing (I know, so very wrong) and Lily's general nature. For anyone else I see chaos ahead. The only one that might support is my dad who will say something like "it is okay, just know that when you have kids they will have to deal with having very different parents then most."
If I was the parent I might seriously consider telling them to keep it quite and not really spread the news too much else my entire family will reign down upon them in full fury and dismay. Go to the mother's side of the family... maybe they can take it better...
Edit: grammer
But anyways to the topics at hand, figures of speech and whatnot I think will really depend on situation and tone of voice.
If you said "Do you need a *HAND*?" with a heavy intonation on hand it would obviously be offensive.
While if it was just said casually the person (in this case Rin) will just pass it off.
Even if you said something by mistake to Hanako I think she would just pass it off as well, she isn't that fragile.
I am relatively surprised though about how everyone seems to be so open minded about it. That if they were the parent they would be awkward but not shunning them. There are a lot of old fashion parents it seems, can't really say I blame them, they want their kids to have a good normal life, and having a lover who has some exceptionality is not the most normal thing to do.
I know tons of people who would despise it if their kid brought a lover like this home. They do not mind it if it is the random person on the street, a casual friend, but once it gets to become family they become... overprotective...
I do understand the plight of young siblings being untactful and blunt, never actually thought about it since I only have older siblings who would just snicker and sneer behind my back if I brought anyone home. I know if I brought any one of the girls from KS home everyone will be very distant and talk quite a bit behind our back. It would also be very awkward. I feel bad if I brought Hanako back since a large part of my family care a lot about the look and the social outlook of having someone different. Lily and Shizune might not be dissed as much due to their financial wellbeing (I know, so very wrong) and Lily's general nature. For anyone else I see chaos ahead. The only one that might support is my dad who will say something like "it is okay, just know that when you have kids they will have to deal with having very different parents then most."
If I was the parent I might seriously consider telling them to keep it quite and not really spread the news too much else my entire family will reign down upon them in full fury and dismay. Go to the mother's side of the family... maybe they can take it better...
Edit: grammer