Katawa Shoujo Forums

"Poor Unfortunate Souls" Misha and Hanako (Is it just me or is this song painfully lengthy?)

(Hanako is reading in the library when Misha appears.)

Misha: Hiya, Hanako!
Hanako: (as always, is scared like a cornered rabbit) h...hi...
Misha: I hear you and Hisao are getting along nicely.
Hanako: Y-y-....yeah....but.....(she hovers her hand over her scars) I...I...
Misha: Say no more! I can help!
Hanako: (she looks at her in disbelief) really?
Misha: of course!
Hanako: H-how?

(cue music)

Misha: I admit that in the past I've been a nasty.
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch.
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch.
“True?” Yes.

And fortunately I know a little magic.
It's a talent I always have possessed.
And dear lady, please don't laugh
I use it on behalf of the miserable, lonely, and depressed.
(pathetic)

Poor unfortunate souls, in pain, in need.
This one longing to be thinner, that one wants to the girl.
And do I help them?
Yes indeed.
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true.
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying “spells, Misha, please!”
And I help them.
Yes I do.

Now it's happened once or twice.
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals.
Yes, I've had the odd complaint, but on the whole I've been a saint
to those poor unfortunate souls.

Misha: So, do we have a deal?
Hanako: If you fix this, they'll send me to a different school, won't they? Away from him.
Misha: But he'll still be yours, and it's only for the rest of this year. Life's full of tough choices, isn't it?

Misha: One other thing, we haven't discussed the subject of payment.
Hanako: But I don't have any-
Misha: I'm not asking much, just a token, really, a trifle! What I want from you is, your voice.
Hankao: But without my voice, how can I-
Misha: You'll have your looks! A pretty face! And there's always sign language, WHAHAHAHAHA!

The men out there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yes it's much preferred for girls ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?
Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn on a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who holds her tongue who gets her man.

Come on you poor unfortunate soul.
Go ahead, make your choice
I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day
It won't cost much! Just your voice!

You poor unfortunate soul
It's sad, but true.
If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet
You've got to pay the toll
Take a gulp, take a breath,
go ahead and sign the scroll!

(Now I've got her)

The boss is on a roll!
This poor unfortunate sooooouul!

Why would Misha want to steal Hanako's voice? ...make everyone at the school a mute, I guess, I dunno.

Dammit, stop making me laugh so much XD

...

Keep 'em coming :3

Sometimes inspiration strikes like lightning.
I heard that song, and the first thing that passed through my mind (right after "holy shit this is all so beautiful how could I miss it as a five years old") was that John Smith must have tried some kind of native american hallucinogen Pocahontas gave him.

So naturally, I immediately went and wrote a song about Rin, the real meaning of art, and love for all that is abstract and surreal and wonderful.
Endure.

You may think that I am just a foolish weirdo
Perhaps you are right, perhaps I am just mad
But even, as I see, if the stragner one is me
There is just so much you'll never understand

You think your logic is the one that matters
The universe works only by your laws
But I have seen your numbers and your symbols and your letters
And I think you are just ignoring all the flaws

You think that sanity is based upon your standards
That my art must be a mirror to the real
But if you close your eyes and let your mind wander
You may realize just how foolish you are still

Have you wondered what the blind see, with milk-white eyes?
Why a smile is cold but tears are always warm?
Can you speak with all the voices of the silence?
Can you paint in all the colors of the storm?

Imagine for a moment that you are nothing
Just paint and let shine all the things within
Release yourself of all your earthly bindings
Don't ask your paintings for a second what they mean

My dreams and my emotions are like clouds
My thoughts and feelings like the sky above
A painting's like a question or a riddle
All it's magic goes away once it is solved

Does the artist need it's fingers to create things?
Does the singer need it's voice and words to sing?
Can you close your eyes and never see the darkness?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

How many years it takes a man to grow old?
What do the heavens dream of when they sleep?
Does life end when we die or when we're born?
Can you break the chains that pull you towards tomorrow?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

You can still say that I am mad
But such thoughts would just be sad
Because you can't see all the colors of the wind.

Long song is long. Also, not very good. I can only blame my English for so much in this case. Mostly, it's because I am not a very good songwriter. But hey, at least the rhythm is mostly right.

Minister of Gloom wrote:Also, not very good.

LIES.

Anywho, here's another Kenji villain song:

[Kenji:]
I know that your powers of retention
Are as wet as Mikado's backside
But thick as you are, pay attention
My words are a matter of pride
It's clear from your vacant expressions
The lights are not all on upstairs
But we're teaching feminists lessons
Even you can't be caught unawares
So prepare for a chance of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news
A shining new era
Is tiptoeing nearer
[Lezard:]
And where do we feature?
[Kenji:]
Just listen to teacher
I know it sounds sordid
But you'll be rewarded
When at last I am given my dues
And injustice deliciously squared
Be prepared!
[Spoken]
[Haruhiko:] Yeah, Be prepared.
Yeah-heh... we'll be prepared, heh.
...For what?
[Kenji:] For the death of Shizune.
[Haruhiko:] Why? Is she sick?
[Kenji:] No, fool-- we're going to kill her. And Misha too.
[Lezard:] Great idea! Who needs a council?
[Lezard (and then Haruhiko):]
No council! No council! la--la-la--la-laa-laa!
[Kenji:] Idiots! There will be a council!
[Haruhiko:] Hey, but you said, uh...
[Kenji:] We will be council! ...Stick with me, and
you'll never be strongarmed again!
[Lezard and Haruhiko:] Yaay! All right! Long live Kenji!
[All footsoldiers of manliness:] Long live Kenji! Long live Kenji!
[Full song again]
[Footsoldiers: {In tight, crisp phrasing and diction}]
It's great that we'll soon be connected.
With Kenji, who'll be all-time adored.
[Kenji:] Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected
To take certain duties on board
The future is littered with prizes
And though I'm the main addressee
The point that I must emphasize is
You won't get a sniff without me!
So prepare for the coup of the century
(Oooh!)
Be prepared for the murkiest scam
(Oooh... La! La! La!)
Meticulous planning
(We'll have rest!)
Tenacity spanning
(Lots of rest)
Decades of denial
(We repeat)
Is simply why I'm
(Endless sleep)
Manliness undisputed
(Aaaaaaah...)
Respected, saluted
(...aaaaaaah...)
And seen for the wonder I am
(...aaaaaaah!)
Yes, my knives and ambitions are bared
(Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo)
Be prepared!
[All:]
Yes, our knives and ambitions are bared
Be prepared!


I love this thread so much.

Made. Of. Fucking. Win

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltcMueAFEl0
Thought I'd give it a go, so I did Prince Ali with Hisao and...wait for it...Mutou (you know it works)

Make way for Prince Nakai
Say hey! It's Prince Nakai

Hey! Clear the way in class 3-3
Hey you!
Let us through!
He can't get to his seat!
Oh Come!
Be the first on your class to meet his eye!

Make way!
Here he comes!
Ring bells! Bang the drums!
Your all gonna love this guy!

Prince Nakai! Brilliant Guy!
Nakai Hisao
Heart defect, show some respect
He may fall to his knees!
Come on and don't be shy
He's actually a pretty nice guy
So come see him before he gets some tea

Prince Nakai!
He likes cherry pie
Nakai Hisao
When the moons in the sky, he goes out to exercise!
His attack hurt him to the core
But the problems a mystery no more
And who bounced back to come to your door?
Why, Prince Nakai

Misha's laughter, causes irritation
Student Council
The number of members, there only are 3
When it comes to his Katawa relations
Has he got a few?
I'm telling you, there's four more than there needs to be

Prince Nakai! He wears a black tie, Nakai Hisao
That physique! c'est magnifique
Not kenji, the other guy
Well, he's waiting out on the track
Hope you don't hurry back
While you go of and have fun with Prince Nakai!

Rins paintings, he thinks they are funky
(She painted a monkey, of course its funky)
And to view them he charges no fee
(Their not his, that's obvious)
The nurse makes sure his heart doesn't go clunky
(Has to work with him)
He bows to his whim as the parents pay him
So he looks after that guy! Prince Nakai!

Prince Nakai!
He can't yet speak sign! Nakai Hisao
That CG, said that the girls, were waiting for he
And that, good people, is why he got dolled up and dropped by
With Hanako who's shy, and Lilly who's blind
Shizune and Misha
Who talk mainly through sign
With Rin who's a painter, although here arms are not there
And Emi who has poplar green eyes
Make way for prince Nakai!

See here. The singer is of course Rin.


Some people settle for the typical thing
Paintin' all straight lines n never tryin' rings
It ain't a question of "if", just a matter of time
Before I move to the front of the line

Once you're watching every piece that I make
You gotta believe my art's got what it takes
To stand out, above the crowd
Looks like nothin' else you've ever found
'Til mine is the only mural you'll see
It's gotta stand out ...

To show it's by me

If I could make you stop and take a look at it
instead of just, walkin' on
There's nothin that
I wouldn't do if it was gettin' you to notice
My shit's fly
All I need is half a chance,
a new canvas, a second glance
To prove, I'll do whatever it takes

It's the art I make

To stand out, above the crowd
Looks like nothin' else you've ever found
'Til mine is the only mural you'll see
It's gotta, stand out, staaaand out

'Til mine is the only mural you'll see
It's gotta stand out ...

'To show it's by me

Great, now i'm watching old Disney movies. Thanks.

I tried and I tried and I was about to give up when it came to me that perhaps it would be far easier to tailor this song to another girl.
So, here's the Shizune Hakamichi version of "I'll Make a Man out of You", as she sings it to Hisao (or any other boy, really). This girl has some fucking standards, and she ain't gonna fall for no puny loser guy.




SHIZUNE
Let me tell you boy, before we begin
My devotion's something you will have to win
Better get yourself ready for some work
If you love me as you say you do
Mister, I'll make a winner of you

You will cross the desert
For a glance or a look
For a kiss I'll make you jump through fiery hoops
You are a pathetic, weak-will, loser but
I know you'll make it through
Somehow I'll make a winner of you

RIN
Oh, this is gonna be hilarious

EMI
Do you think he'll really do this?

LILLY
What exactly does he even see in that witch?

MISHA
Wait until she gets the cuffs.

NURSE
I just hope she doesn't kill him.

HISAO
I wonder if she's even worth this whole ordeal...

(WAHAHAHA)
You must be strong like a raging river
(WAHAHAHA)
With the might of a great typhoon
(WAHAHAHA)
With a passion like burning fire
(WAHAHAHA)
As glorious as the sun high in it's noon!

In a war, my boy, nothing is for free
Love is like a contest and your prize is me
Though you are just a hopeful loser now
Trust me, by the time we're through
I vow I'll make a winner of you

(WAHAHAHA)
You must be strong like a raging river
(WAHAHAHA)
With the might of a great typhoon
(WAHAHAHA)
With a passion like burning fire
(WAHAHAHA)
As glorious as the sun high in it's noon!


Oich, I got the rhythm pretty messed up this time. Plus, I didn't really deliver the proper message. I think the idea is funny, though. I can totally see Shizune making Hisao cross some misty Chinese mountain with a pair of buckets on his back to prove his worth to her. The problem is that the song isn't really long enough (sans the chorus) to say much about this.

Not only do I have to deal with so many people using Disney music for parodies in the anime world on youtube (myself included), now you guys have taken it to a whole new level on here. Give me two days.

Minister of Gloom wrote:So, here's the Shizune Hakamichi version of "I'll Make a Man out of You", as she sings it to Hisao (or any other boy, really). This girl has some fucking standards, and she ain't gonna fall for no puny loser guy.

This is AWESOME. I can definitely see Shizune singing this to Hisao.

I must say that I am wholeheartedly enjoying this entire thread. I suppose it helps that I know practically every Disney song by heart and that I enjoy them as well.

Proving once again that it's always the quiet ones, I give you Hanako Ikezawa, the world's greatest criminal mind.

[Hanako:]
My friends, we are about to embark on the most odious, the most evil, the most diabolical scheme of my illustrious career. A crime to top all crimes, a crime that will live in infamy! Tomorrow evening, our beloved president celebrates her diamond jubilee. And, with the enthusiastic help of our good friend Ms. Tezuka, it promises to be a night she will never forget. Her last night, and my first, as supreme ruler of all Yamaku!

From the brain that brought you the Shanghai Caper
The head that made headlines in every newspaper
And wondrous things like the Yuukoplant Job
That cunning display that made Yamaku sob

Now comes the real tour de force
Tricky and wicked, of course
My earlier crimes were fine for their times
But now that I'm at it again
An even grimmer plot has been simmering
In my great criminal brain

[Chorus:]
Even meaner? You mean it?
Worse than the widows and orphans you drowned?
You're the best of the worst around
Oh, Hanako
Oh, Hanako
The rest fall behind
To Hanako
To Hanako
The world's greatest criminal mind

[Hanako:]
Thank you, thank you. But it hasn't all been tea and caviar. I've had my share of adversity, thanks to that miserable second-rate guerrilla, Kenji Setou. For years, that insufferable misogynist has interfered with my plans. I haven't had a moment's peace of mind. But, all that's in the past! This time, nothing, not even Kenji, can stand in my way! All will bow before me!
[Chorus:]
Oh, Hanako
Oh, Hanako
You're tops and that's it
To Hanako
To Hanako
[Molly:]
To Hanako, the world's greatest crip

[Hanako:]
What was that? What did you call me?
[Naomi:]
Oh, oh, she didn't mean it.
[Natsumi:]
I-it was just a slip of the tongue.
[Hanako:]
I am NOT A CRIP!
[Miki:]
'Course you're not. You're normal!
[Suzu:]
Yeah, that's right. Right! Normal.
[Ritsu:]
With a lovely birthmark!
[Hanako:]
SILENCE! Oh, my dear Molly, I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me.

[Molly:]
Oh, Hanako
Oh, Hanako
You're the tops and that's it
(Oh dear.)
To Hanako
To Hanako
To Hanako, the world's greatest -
[Niji:]
Woof.
[Hanako:] Oh, Niji, my precious, my baby. Did Mommy's little honey bun enjoy her tasty __?
[Niji:]
Urp.
[Hanako:]
I trust there will be no further interruptions? And now, as you were singing?

[Chorus:]
Even louder
We'll shout it!
No one can doubt what we know you can do
You're more evil than even you
Oh, Hanako
Oh, Hanako
You're one of a kind
To Hanako
To Hanako
The world's greatest criminal mind!


And that, children, is the story of how Molly lost her hand.

You thought I wouldn't notice the song sung in "The Great Mouse Detective" by Ratigan did you.
Now I'm wondering who you intened to play the part of Major Dr. David Q. Dawson; I'm guessing Hisao perhaps.