I actually had the idea for this somewhere around valentine's day, and the original plan I'd had was slightly different, but hey, whatever works, right? 
Yes, it really did take me 3 months to finish this... ">_>
Thanks goes out to Mirage for proofreading this extensively, and to Neuman for approving both the original idea and the final version you see below!
===============================
“They of Sorrow, They of Joy”
Something just didn’t feel right any more. It hadn’t since we’d broken up, back in August. I hadn’t ended it because of the kind of guy he was. Really, he’d been a gentleman the entire month and a half we’d been going out together, even if he was a little clumsy. I just couldn’t help but feel that his feelings for me weren’t as true as either of us would’ve liked. I’d tried to talk to him about this, but either my vocal chords would stop working, or he’d rush past the subject with this look in his eyes that just screamed his fears at me. Fears that mirrored my own. So I ended it, for both our sakes. I still believe I made the right decision.
It got worse when he started going out with my best friend in November, though, but I guess it taking them three more months before they figured out their feelings for each other counts for something. Or at least it should have. Being around them just... hurts, I guess. Whenever I’m alone with my friend, I can at least pretend things have stayed the same. That’s impossible around him because of how quickly our relationship changed, several times, and I feel restless when it’s the three of us. I’m used to hiding myself, though, so they never notice. They’re used to my habit of sneaking off to be on my own for a while, too, something I can make use of whenever I can’t stand being around them any more.
I don’t think I can be their friend much longer if this keeps up. But they’re the only friends I’ve had since...
=====
When that Nakai guy moved in the room across from mine, I had dared hope to finally have found an ally for my struggles. Someone to watch my back, as it were. A comrade in the battle against the Feminist forces, something I was in dire need of. But of course it didn’t work out like that. He started hanging out with a couple of broads within days, under the guise of going undercover, he claimed. Pah! Damn him for having pulled the wool over my eyes! That of my own scarf, no less! Really, he once tied my own scarf around my head while I was in the middle of one of my explanations. Anyway, it took me months to figure out he didn’t believe any of the things I’d told him, but that event made me especially suspicious of him. And it turned out he never had believed, the bastard. So I was once again left to fight this battle on my own.
However, in the past three months, one of the two broads he hangs out with has begun to behave erratically. I think. Weirder than before, anyway. She thinks no one notices, but my records of her show that she’s hidden away in her little hidey-hole more and more often during times she’d usually be around her friend and my.. neighbour. Suspicious behaviour indeed. I should investigate this, gather proof to support my theories, and uncover this one for what she truly is. Even though he betrayed me, and I don’t owe him a thing, it’s what we men have to do.
Because if we don’t stick together in the face of this threat, everything we’ve come to know will disappear.
=====
I decided to at least have lunch with them a little more often. Lilly told me yesterday that she was starting to get a little worried about me. That made me realize I’ve secluded myself a little too much lately.
It’s hard, finding a good way to avoid them while making it look like I’m not. Almost as hard as being around them. But I can’t have them worrying about me, not while they’re together like this. He’s happier with her than he was with me, anyway, and being with him does a lot of good for Lilly, too. I’ve never seen her this relaxed, or hear her giggle this often. I’m glad for them, I really am. So I’m doing everything I can to not get in their way. I know it’s my insecurity and anxiety that ruined my chances with him.
I still want to be their friend. I really do. But right now, it’s impossible to even share a table with them for more than thirty minutes. That’s why I tell them I’m fine, that they don’t have to worry about me. Today, when classes are over, I’ll go to the store with Lilly.
I’ll let them have the weekend to themselves.
=====
Something is strange about my notes. There are lines in here that have very little to do with the activities of my current investigatory subject. Instead, there are... peculiar descriptions amongst my observations. Observations made in close proximity are affected the most, perhaps simply because of being on just the other side of a bookshelf... There’s especially a lot about her hair. Her long, fluidly dark hair, which seems to glisten in the light of the morning sun, like the ripples on a pond after tossing in a pebble... Or something like that. The descriptions vary in length and in how elaborate they are. Sometimes it almost reads like a third-rate novel. Which probably means I shouldn’t try my hand at becoming a professional writer. Maybe I could dabble with some fanfiction or something...
Anyway. I seem to have little control left over my writing hand. I may have to switch hands to prevent further straying. By the way, hasn’t anyone ever noticed just how marvellously delicately she holds the books she reads? Like right now! My word, that’s beautiful. Oh, right, have to switch hands.
Somehow, this
dose does not seem to
impov improve my ob-ser-va-tions, nor my notes on them. I fear my
mn mind may have become
cotai contani infected with something I cannot
exli explain. For that matter, I
tik think she’s caught wind of my
pes presence several times already. For
that matter, that eye of hers is simply
brilai brilliant.
Back to my writing hand. Using my other hand only made my notes harder to read. I’ll have to rewrite them later. Maybe I can weed out some of those peculiar descriptions that way...
=====
I.. I think someone’s been following me around this past week. I don’t have anything to prove it, but whenever I think I’m alone, it feels like someone is watching me! Other times, I can hear someone scuffling about behind me. I never hear this person when I feel their eyes, and I never feel their eyes when I hear them, which is really, really weird. It’s like they can focus on only one thing at a time, like whether to be quiet or keep their presence hidden.
I don’t know what to do about this. Telling Lilly would only make her worry about me more than necessary, and Hisao would probably follow me around to try and catch this... stalker, I suppose is the right word, red-handed. Their weekend together has been great, by the way. I can tell they’ve gotten closer to each other. There’s no way I can just go and disturb them with this now.
No, I’ll have to find a way to catch this person myself. I’ll have to find the courage to confront them. To ask them why they’ve been following me around.
But I... I have to admit, that... a part of me is... enjoying this a lot more than I should...
=====
Yet again, I’ve observed changes in her behavior. It seems my suspicions were correct - she’s on to me. Or at least she knows someone’s watching her. Watching her every move, whenever I’m not in class, or touching up on my notes, or keeping an eye on other Feminists, or having dreams about her serene beauty, or wondering why all of my notes have become contaminated with strange entries unrelated to the subject of the notes... Seriously, there are several mentions of long dark hair mixed in my notes on Hakamichi and Mikado! I fear I may be losing my mind.
Or perhaps it’s something else, a trick I thought myself immune to, that I could thwart within milliseconds of its inception. I recently questioned Hisao about his interactions with that blonde broad of the past few months. At least, I think it’s months, could be just weeks. Anyway, when I demanded to know the reasons for his erratic behaviour, he gave me the strangest answer I’ve ever heard.
“It’s love, man.”
I tuned out the rest of what he said, and probably didn’t take my leave properly as I then rushed back into my room. My fortress of solitude, where many Feminist ploys were discovered and foiled before even they could think of them. The bastion of the last sane man in an insane world.
But perhaps no more. For Hisao’s three short words have set in motion a line of thought which I cannot deny. One that has burrowed its way into my very being, into my very core, yet I, who can see farther than any man, never saw it coming. That I could be lured into such trickery on this scale is unthinkable, but it’s been done nonetheless - I have fallen for the feminine wiles of Hanako Ikezawa.
Man-kind is doomed.
=====
I’m beginning to feel very disturbed with myself. It’s been two weeks since I first noticed that I was being watched, and already am I not only used to this presence, I miss it when it’s not there. I can’t explain this, no matter how I try. This guy - at least I hope it’s a guy - has begun to feel like a distant companion somehow, there to witness my actions when I’m by myself.
I don’t understand this one bit. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. So why? Why do I feel this way when I don’t even know who it is that’s watching me? It should be scaring me to death, instead of exciting me, shouldn’t it? Oh! I can hear him come closer again... I wonder what he would do if I just walked up to him. I wonder what
I would do, as well. Would I have the courage to call out to him? Maybe even do something as daring as hug him?
I have no idea. But I think it’s time to find out...
=====
Strange. Very strange. I am once again observing her actions from the other side of this bookshelf, and I can very clearly see her smiling. Binoculars are such wonderful things when used right. On one occasion, I had held them the wrong way, and ended up getting clobbered for spying on the Feminists. That sure had been-
Wait, she’s moving. Peculiar behaviour indeed. Perhaps she’s on her way to a secret Feminist meeting. If so, I can finally uncover them for what they are! Ha! The manliest of men shall prevail after all! I wonder who their ringleader could be... Heh, no I don’t, I’ve long since known it is Hakamichi, and her-
“S-Setou? I-it was y-y-you?!?”
Crap.
=====
It was him? It was Kenji Setou who’s been watching me all this time? No... No, this has got to be a mistake, right? … Right? It can’t have been him... No, it can’t have been, his eyes are almost as bad as Lilly’s. Wait, who’s laughing like that in here? I look around, but there’s no one behind me, just Setou in front of me. And he’s not laughing, he’s standing there as if he’s ready to punch me... Oh God, why did I even
want to know who it was?
I come to my senses just a bit, and notice I’ve been slowly backing away from him. Yes, good. I probably should just leave. Leave and forget this ever happened... “I-I’m s-sorry, I m-m-must’ve had you c-confused for s-someone e-else...” My usual stutter is getting worse. “I-I’ll just.. l-l-leave n-now...” But as I turn away and start to walk, something touches my arm. “NO!” I yell, and swing my arm wide.
“Wha-- Ow!” Setou lets out, and when I turn to look, his back is against one of the shelves, and he’s rubbing his head. Looking again, there’s a few books at his feet, and a few gaps between the books on the shelves. “Will you listen for a few seconds, woman!” he shouts at me, and I shrink back again. He doesn’t seem to notice that he keeps shouting, making me wonder why Yuuko hasn’t approached us yet. “I’m
trying to tell you I’m not gonna do anything to you, you damn Feminist! I just want you to tell me what you did to me!”
… “Huh?” What I... did to him? I’ve never done anything to him... have I? No, I’ve never really done anything to anyone, not since... Not since then. What happened between me and Hisao wasn’t anyone's doing, either. It just... happened... Oh God, why did it have to happen like that...
=====
Oh, great. Now the damn woman is breaking down in tears. Maybe raising my voice wasn’t the best of ideas in this particular one’s presence, my files say she’s prone to be more shy than a rabbit. The parts of my files that still make sense, anyway. Which none of them do now any more. Dammit, what did this one
do to me?
Now what did Hisao tell me about handling a crying woman during one of our picnics... Ah, right, you’re supposed to be gentle with them. Hug them and other crap like that. Well, best get this over with...
I walk over to her and grab her shoulders firmly, and I can feel her flinch in my grip. Wait, no, I shouldn’t do that this firm, that’ll just scare her more... I think, anyway. What else did he suggest... Oh, right, talking to her in a low voice. “Ikezawa,” I say, but it sounds a little off, and she flinches again. I’m not sure why she’s not running yet, though. She seemed rather desperate to get away from me earlier (and why does that cause my chest to hurt more than the back of my head did after being hit by half a dozen books?), but I try to pay it no heed.
“Ikezawa,” I try again. “What did you
do to me?”
=====
No... No, he’s too close! Why did he come so close! And why aren’t I resisting more? He’s touching me, why is he touching me... “Why does he keep asking me that question? I didn’t do anything to him! He’s the one who’s been watching me all this time! Oh God, his hands...”
Suddenly I realize I’ve been rambling out loud, and I snap my mouth shut while my eyes open up wide, staring straight at him. How.. How did that just happen? Why does he smell so much of garlic, of all things? And.. why is he looking so surprised?
Even better... Why are his thumbs rubbing my shoulders?
I go rigid, slowly moving my head to look down the length of his arm, to my shoulder. He notices this, and I think he calls out my name, too, but I can’t hear him. His hand... is... on... my... shoulder...
“GET AWAY!” I yell, and violently push him back. But the following thud and clattering of books keep me from running away. Even more so because the only voice I hear as a result of it is Yuuko, frantically shouting and apologizing as she comes running this way. “S-Setou?” I hesitantly call out. I then open my eyes. To see him lying under a pile of books.
Oh God, no! What have I done to him??
“Kenji!!"
=====
Damn, waking up is hard today... I mean, it’s pretty bad when I’ve had a few drinks, but this is way worse. And why are there people in my room, anyway? Wait, this doesn’t feel like my bed at all... They’ve gotten to me! I have to get out of here! Dammit, body, wake up!
“You’ll never keep me here alive!”
“Kenji! C-calm down!”
“Where have you taken me, woman!?”
“Y-you’re in the Nurse’s office! You h-had an... an accident...”
“Ha! One caused by you, huh?” That shuts her up for practically a minute.
Then I have to strain my ears to hear her reply. “Y-yes...”
Now, some may accuse me of being a cold-hearted bastard, and there may be a little truth to that... But that bastard Hisao would’ve gotten three separate heart attacks if he’d heard her guilt-laden voice just now. At least, it managed to shut me up pretty good. It also got me to stop thrashing around, which is probably a good thing, cause this bed doesn’t seem very firmly built.
“Ikezawa?” I call out, looking in the direction I heard her voice come from just now. I didn’t hear her move, so I’m assuming she’s still there, which usually works, except that some people can be so damn sneaky they’ve managed to run away in the half-second it takes me to pin-point their location... Argh! Focus, man, focus!
Right, I can see her now. She’s sitting.. right next to my bed? That’s unexpected behaviour for her. Then again, none of her behaviour lately made any sense at all, so it’s probably nothing to worry about. Wait, what am I saying? She’s within perfect striking distance! And yet...
I can feel no threat emanating from her. I even find myself wishing to touch her again. Even with my limited eyes, her posture looks fragile. I try my best to sound non-threatening, kind even, when I call out to her again.
“Dammit, woman, you can stop looking like you just lost the war. I’m still alive, aren’t I?” Though, why that should improve on her mood-
“Oh God, Kenji, I’m so sorry for pushing you like that! B-but you were standing s-so close, I didn’t know what t-to do...” Well, at least she’s looking in my direction again instead of at the floor. Hang on, why am I smiling?
=====
He’s.. smiling at me. I just apologized to him, and now he’s smiling. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do that... It’s making me feel warm inside, too, in a good way. As if nothing he’d ask of me would be too much to do. It’s confusing me so much, but I can’t help smiling back. Even if it’s just a little.
The way he smiles at me looks familiar, though. That shouldn’t be possible, should it? Not when I’ve never seen it from him before. These past weeks have been so strange...
“Don’t tell me one of those books hit your head, too?” Kenji’s sudden question pulls me back to reality. I just shake my head in response. I’m not sure why I don’t just talk again. He’s frowning now, though, and the usual paranoid expression he walks around with is starting to creep back.
“It hit you in the throat? Wait, no, you wouldn’t even have apologized earlier if that had happened.” I can’t help but snort now, and I give him a smile that would always calm Hisao down. I don’t expect it to work now, of course, not with Kenji’s eyes being as bad as they are. But, strangely enough, he looks relieved. The next second he’s looking confused again, and the next again he looks like he’s deep in thought.
“Say, Ikezawa...” he begins suddenly.
“Y-yes, Kenji?”
“Come here for a second.”
I feel confused by his sudden question, but I do as he asks. He keeps motioning me closer, until our faces are only inches apart. It’s probably so he can see me better, but a small part of me is silently hoping he wanted something.. else.
That’s when he puts his hands on my cheeks and kisses me.
=====
Interesting.
Already a full minute has passed since I.. ‘broke that kiss’, is what they call it, right? Anyway, half of that minute was spent regaining my thoughts, and the next half was for convincing my eyes to open. Now that I can see again, I see that she hasn’t moved an inch, nor has she opened her eyes.
Interestingly, a girl’s lips have a softer feel to them than one would expect if they were coated in several layers of poison. I’m beginning to suspect this one might not be after my life, despite the earlier incident. Of course, I’ll have to investigate further. So far, she does not seem to object to any further inquiries.
I decide to use a different approach in addressing her. She probably won’t mind now.
“Hanako?”
“Mmmm...” She still seems to be in a trance of sorts. I wonder how to shake her out of this. Short of actually shaking her, that would just be rude.
“Hanako, I have a very important question to ask of you.”
“Mm?” Finally she opens her eyes.
I was not prepared for what I saw in them. No man can possibly be prepared for eyes filled with such pure emotions. It will captivate them, leave them unable to speak, unable to think, unable to even
move. So naturally, I do the only thing I can in such a situation.
I kiss her again.
=====
One month later
Somewhere, in an unused classroom, sits a girl awaiting someone. She quietly sips from her tea, then checks her watch with her fingertips. He’s late, and she wonders what could’ve kept him. One wayward thought tries to imply that this is how his relationship with her best friend started going downhill, but she squashes it with a mere mental flick. He’d long ago admitted to her that, despite the fact that he really did like her friend, there just was no spark between them.
The door opens, and with an expectant voice, she calls out, “Hisao? Are you here?”
“Ah.. um... Yeah, I think,” the boy replies hesitantly. His expression is dumbfounded, which the girl cannot witness, but his tone of voice speaks volumes.
“Hisao? Did something happen on your way here?” she gently prods.
“You can say that, yeah...” He ruffles his own hair in an attempt to come to his senses, with little apparent success. The girl gives another light verbal prod.
“Do you plan on telling me?” she teases lightly, which wins her a slight snicker.
“I think I actually had a normal conversation with Kenji,” he finally states. Looking at the girl sitting across from him, his gaze is almost met with one just as dumbfounded as his own only moments ago. Then the girl bursts out laughing, and the boy can’t help but follow.
It takes the both of them a few minutes to recover, but as soon as Hisao’s recovered his breath, he continues. “I’m serious, though. Not one mention of feminist conspiracies or any crap like that.”
“Then it seems your neighbour may be turning over a new leaf,” Lilly says as she smiles encouragingly.
“Either that, or he got knocked on the head hard enough to get his brain unscrambled...” her boyfriend mutters. More loudly, he adds, “He suggested we go on a double date. You, me, him and Hanako.”
Blinking, Lilly takes a few moments to ponder this, then smiles. “That sounds quite lovely, don’t you think?”
“I’m still not over the shock that Hanako started dating Kenji, of all people. So I told him I’d talk to you about it, and then I’d get back to him...”
“Well, I think it would be a wonderful idea,” Lilly replies with a broad smile. “When would he like to hold this ‘double date’?”
“This Friday, actually,” Hisao states, rubbing the back of his neck. “So I guess I’ll tell him it’s a date?”
Grinning, Lilly nods graciously, saying, “That, you may. Would you like some tea?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
THE END
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