Katawa Haha

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G3n0c1de
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Re: Katawa Haha

Post by G3n0c1de »

Ozymil wrote: Unless you plan on placing all these storylines within a universe as Duane described it, or if it drastically affects something you had planned, I really would like to see Hisao as the husband. He is, after all, the protagonist, hehe, and I've grown attached to the cynical bastard.
I actually see these as oneshots, though Duane's idea seems interesting.
It's a good thing Shizune is deaf, she is the only one who can stand (not) hearing "Wahaha~!" over and over.
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Re: Katawa Haha

Post by DuaneMoody »

G3n0c1de wrote: I actually see these as oneshots, though Duane's idea seems interesting.
By making all of them Mrs. Nakai, you create a premise which the reader has to get past to pay attention to the heroines. Then at the unmasking, we see what Hisao meant to them individually; whether they remember him fondly as a first high school love, whether there's seething yandere under the surface of a happy marriage, or regret ever having been involved with him.
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Re: Katawa Haha

Post by Loki »

You could, but they'd also stand well as oneshots.
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Re: Katawa Haha

Post by Hydra »

this looks like it could be interesting if someone decides to take it up.

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Goldilurks
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Re: Katawa Haha

Post by Goldilurks »

I only had a bunch of oneshots planned, with no interconnecting plot. I won't deny that Duane's idea is interesting and has potential, but it's a bit more complicated than what I planned to tackle. That said, no one has to wait on my initiative; I don't hold any claim to the idea "write/draw fanfiction/fancomics about the KS cast as parents". Go wild. See what you can come up with on your own.

As regards the Emi chapter, it's coming along a little slower than planned. Expect to have it on the boards Sunday.

Regarding Hisao, it's a moot point for my stories in particular because a husband doesn't figure into anything else I was planning to write - with the sole exception of the Yuuko omake. If people really want I'll paste Hisao in there.
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Re: Katawa Haha

Post by Icerain~ »

Are you done with Emi Chapter yet? *waits for Hanako one*
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Re: Katawa Haha

Post by Darkmoon »

Ozymil wrote: I've grown attached to the cynical bastard.
Agreed! I think we all have in some way or another, whether you love him loathe him or hate him he is the lead after all. You have to feel attached in some way.
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Re: Katawa Haha

Post by Goldilurks »

Emi’s Chapter
  • Page One
    First Panel: Close-up on the face of Shiroma, Emi’s 13-year old son. He wears his dark hair in a bowl cut and is currently in short-sleeved dress shirt and jeans, though we can only see his collar. You can see the resemblance to his mother in his forehead and upper cheekbones; there’s that same roundness of the facial structure, although his chin is more angular. (He’s got his mother’s eye color too, if we’re coloring this.) In the background we can see the set of stairs he’s running down. He’s currently yelling to his friends (off-panel) with a facial expression that belies urgency.
    Shiroma: “I’ll be right there!”
    Fuyuko: “Hurry up already!”
    Second Panel: We see Fuyuko, Kouji, and Sae, the friends who have been waiting for him. They’re standing in the receiving area (you know, the part of the Japanese home before you have to take your shoes off). They’re all around 13 years old. Fuyuko is a perky-looking young girl with pigtails similar to Molly’s but a lighter hair color. She’s in an ankle-length white sundress with sneakers. Her boyfriend, Kouji, has dark red hair and is wearing a t-shirt under a plaid collared shirt (the grunge look) with that shorts and pants combination I’ve only ever seen worn in Japan. Sae is Kouji’s sister and has the same color hair, cut short. She’s wearing glasses, a white summer top, and a knee-length skirt. Kouji and Fuyuko are standing in the center of the panel; she’s waving and yelling at Shiroma to hurry up while Kouji just looks amused, hands in his pockets. Sae is off to the side, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed and a deadpan expression on her face. Depending on the manga style of this panel, we might want to give them each little labeling captions.
    Third Panel: We see the four leaving the house. Shiroma’s catching up to them; he had to run off to grab his bike from the side of the house. It's kind of a shitty bike. The others’ bikes are parked at the end of the driveway. There’s one bike for Fuyuko and Kouji; she’s riding on the back.
    Kouji: “Dude, you knew we were coming. The hell?”
    Shiroma: “I’ve been disorganized as hell lately. My bad. Thought I lost the application paperwork, and I spent all morning tearing my room apart to find it.”
    Fuyuko: “Those papers determine your high school, Shiroma! You’re really hopeless sometimes.”
    Fourth Panel: Very small panel, we see a hand on the doorframe that Shiroma and company just exited through. The kids’ heads turn at the sound of a voice.
    Off-panel Voice: “Oh come now, Shiroma –“
  • Page Two
    First Panel: And we see the voice is Emi’s. However the page layout is done, this needs to be one of those larger vertical panels that shows off the character from top to toe. Her hair is about the same length, but she doesn’t tie it back into the twintails anymore. She’s probably not much taller than her 13-year-old son, and a few wrinkles make it clear she’s aged quite a bit since we saw her last, but she’s still got a pretty face with big eyes and a naturally happy expression. She’s wearing a one-piece green dress with short sleeves, and we can see the tips of her prosthetics poking out from the bottom. They’re indoor prosthetics, with what looks like pads to prevent the scuffing of wooden floors. I don’t know how the etiquette for Japanese households works for people with artificial feet, but one could imagine that if she ever wore these outside, she’d wipe them off before coming in.
    Emi: “- it’s rude to leave without saying goodbye! Would you please remember to pick up some eggs on the way back?”
    Second Panel: We get a bird’s eye view of the four kids in the driveway having a conversation with Emi.
    Sae: “Hey, Bachan.” (yes, that informal Japanese term for aunt. If the weaboo is too strong we can use ‘Auntie’ here.)
    Fuyuko: “Good afternoon! Sorry we’re leaving in such a hurry.”
    Emi: “It’s okay. I don’t mean to keep you waiting. I know you’ve wanted to go to this concert for a long time.”
    Kouji: “No prob, wasn’t your fault we’re still here instead of on the road half an hour ago.” *jerks thumb at Shiroma*
    Shiroma: “Shut it, Kouji. The eggs, mom? You forgot them again?”
    Third Panel: Emi does that whack-myself-on-the-head gesture with an apologetic look on her face. Shiroma still looks annoyed. The perspective should cut to behind Shiroma, so we see his face from an angle and get a good look at Emi’s face in the background.
    Emi: “I’m sorry. I’d go and get them myself, but I have to finish this project by tomorrow. You’ve got school tomorrow, too – come straight home after the concert, okay?”
    Shiroma: “Come ON, Mom. I’m not a little kid anymore.”
    Fourth Panel: Shiroma has made a mistake. This panel is relatively small, and zooms in very close on Emi’s lip, which begins to quiver.
    Emi: “Well…”
  • Page Three
    First Panel: This panel covers Emi from crown to shoulders, so that her expression and gestures are all visible. She’s looking slightly away and has a hand to the side of her face. It’s clear that her puppy dog eyes have not weakened with age, but rather than go with the sad cute look from her high school years she has instead chosen to combine them with an expression of apologetic concern. The Maternal Guilt Factor has been turned up to eleven, and the result could probably pierce a Kevlar vest. That look she gave Hisao in Act I pales in comparison.
    Emi: “I know you’re growing older, and I can be such a bother to you sometimes. I’m so sorry for getting in the way; this is an important night with your friends, and I’m being thoughtless after all…”
    Second Panel: We have a close-up on Shiroma’s reaction. It’s total deer-in-the-headlights-oh-god-is-she-starting-to-cry shock. In the background we see his friends and their reactions. Sae is pure deadpan (use Kyouya from Ouran High School Host Club as a model for the deadpan behind glasses here). Fuyuko is wincing. Kouji is actually clutching his chest in pain and leaning against the wall. Yes, Emi can guilt trip her son so hard his friends develop heart problems. In the background behind them we see bystanders watching the scene with disapproving looks for Shiroma.
    Bystanders: “Is he making his mother cry?” “What a despicable ingrate of a son.”
    Kouji: “…my chest…”
    Third Panel: Shiroma has gone all apologetic, and is bowing and apologizing profusely before Emi, who has returned to a much cheerier disposition. She knows she’s won.
    Shiroma: “Aww man, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply I mean you’renotabotheratallandI’llremembertheeggsandpleasedon’tcry-”
    Emi: “I’ll see you home at 10, then! You won’t miss any part of the concert, I hope? You’ve been very keen on this one for some reason.”
    Fourth Panel: Shiroma’s friends are smirking at something, in their own way: Fuyuko has the cat-smile (: 3), Kouji has the smirk-sneer (; D), and meganekko Sae has a little smile on an otherwise expressionless face (8 >). Shiroma is red-faced and screaming at them, while Emi has a faux-innocent curious look that implies that something is relevant to her interests.
    Fuyuko: “That reason is Shiragawa-senpai, and she’ll be waiting for us at the concert. Shiroma’s been looking for the chance to walk her home for years.”
    Emi: “Oho?”
    Shiroma: “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE SHUT UP!”
  • Page Four
    First Panel: We get a distant birds-eye view of the three bikes going down a suburban Japanese road; Shiroma in front, Sae in the middle, Kouji and Fuyuko in the rear.
    Shiroma: “Geez, Fuyuko-chan, did you have to tell my mom? She’s the second-to-last person I wanted to know.”
    Sae: “She’s your mother. Doubtless she would have found out eventually.”
    Second Panel: Close up on Kouji and Fuyuko. She’s responding with a cheery smile, while Kouji grins. He’s obviously amused by everyone busting Shiroma’s balls lately.
    Fuyuko: “Sae’s right! You couldn’t hide your crush from your mother forever.”
    Kouji: “Especially your mom. That woman fights dirty. You really need to act like more of a man in front of her, dude. Why does that puppy-eyes look still work on you?”
    Third Panel: Close-up on Shiroma from the front, with Sae on her bike in the background.
    Shiroma: “Easy for you to say! I’ve been asking myself that for years and years now. Mom uses it ‘cuz she knows it works.”
    Sae: “You’ll never win that fight. At least try to act like a man around Shiragawa.”
  • Page Five
    First Panel: They’ve started going down a hill with a soft incline. The kids stop pedaling and let gravity carry them forward. A blushing Shiroma uses this opportunity to sit back on his bike and turn around to look at who he’s conversing with. Which means giving Sae an embarrassed death glare, which fails to faze her in the least.
    Shiroma: “Die in a fire.”
    Fuyuko: “At the very least you should call her to let her know we’re on our way! We might be late.”
    Second Panel: Close up on Fuyuko’s face. She’s cheering Shiroma on.
    Shiroma: “We don’t need to call her for that…” (put a blush on this speech bubble, to show Shiroma’s reaction)
    Fuyuko: “Go on, do it!”
    Third Panel: Return to Shiroma, full body shot. He’s embarrassed and annoyed, but is reaching into his pocket in defeat.
    Kouji: “Forget it, he doesn’t have the balls.”
    Shiroma: “Screw you, Kouji. All right, I’ll –”
    Fourth Panel: Identical to the previous, except Shiroma’s hand is in his pocket and he’s got his unpleasant surprise face on. He’s hit the brakes on his bike with the other hand.
    Shiroma: “- ah crap.”
    Distant sound effect: “tip tip tip
    Fifth Panel: Sae and Kouji stop on either side of Shiroma. Fuyuko stays on the back of Kouji’s bike but looks worried. Shiroma is hurriedly patting himself down like he’s the policeman and terrorist suspect all in one.
    Fuyuko: “What’s wrong?”
    Shiroma: “I don’t believe it. I forgot my cellphone! I am so out of it today.”
    Distant sound effect, growing stronger: “tip tip tip
    Sixth Panel: Same perspective as before. Shiroma has turned around to start biking in the other direction, but he’s facing Kouji. Sae and Kouji are looking at him, but Fuyuko is looking at something in the direction from which they came with a confused look on her face.
    Kouji: “Are you kidding me?”
    Shiroma: “I’ll just go back and get it now. Go on without me; I’ll catch up.”
    Fuyuko: “?”
    Sound effect not so distant now: “Tip Tip Tip
  • Page Six
    First Panel: It’s Emi! We have a perspective from behind Shiroma that puts all the kids in view as she races down the hill towards them. Dust is rising from the road as she runs, and she’s got her dress hiked up with her left hand while holding Shiroma’s cellphone in her right. Sae is expressionless, Fuyuko and Kouji are quite surprised to say the least, and Shiroma is doing a double take that would not look out of place in a classic Warner Brothers cartoon.
    Emi: “Shiromaaa! You forgot your cellphone!”
    Emi’s Prosthetics: “Tip Tip Tip Tip Tip
    Shiroma: “HOW THE HELL DID YOU CATCH UP WE’RE ON BIKES!?!?!?”
    Second Panel: Close-up on Emi’s right prosthetic, with her hands pulling the dress out of the way. It’s a fancy, aerodynamic piece that looks like it belongs at the Paralympic Games – she ain’t wearing her indoor legs. (I approve of any artist who does a bit of research into what the cutting-edge racing prosthetics would look like.)
    Emi: “Check it out! Latest model.”
    Third Panel: Zoom out, we see that Emi is indeed showing her prosthetics off to Shiroma’s friends. Shiroma is sweatdropping like mad.
    Kouji: “Those are pretty tight.”
    Emi: “It was so worth the cost!”
    Shiroma: “Mom…racing stripes? Seriously?”
    Fourth Panel: Bad idea, Shiroma. She’s turned The Look on him again. The perspective should be from behind Shiroma to get a better look at Emi; we can tell his reaction from the copious sweating.
    Emi: “Are you saying I'm t-too old to run like that?”
    Shiroma: “GAH NO I DIDN’T MEAN –”
  • Page Seven
    First Panel: Small panel, close up on Emi’s face as she waves them goodbye.
    Emi: “Have a good time, okay?”
    Second Panel: Equally small panel, close up on Shiroma as he looks over his shoulder at his mother’s farewell. Mostly embarrassment, but there is affection on that face.
    Third Panel: Takes up the rest of the page. From a ground level perspective behind them, we see the kids riding off down the street. Their faces aren’t visible.
    Shiroma: “Well, I guess she can’t humiliate me any more today.”
    Kouji: “Don’t stress it, man. Your mom’s actually pretty cool.”
    Fuyuko: “Yeah!”
    Sae: “Quite.”
    Shiroma: “…well…sure, I guess.” (place at the bottom of the page; this line concludes the chapter)
  • Omake Yonkoma
    First Panel: We see Shiroma biking down the street from the side. He’s sweating, breathing heavily, and pedaling hard – it’s clear he’s racing someone.
    Sound Effect: “Tip Tip Tip
    Second Panel: As above, but we see Emi pull ahead of Shiroma. She’s changed into a jogging suit, and is running full out. Shiroma’s face gawks in surprise.
    Sound Effect: “Tip Tip Tip
    Third Panel: We see Emi cross a finish line, a winning smile on her face and her hands flung up in victory Usain Bolt style. Fuyuko and Kouji cheer her victory while Sae claps in deadpan applause. In the background, a good distance away, is Shiroma with an expression of total shock on his face. Emi didn’t just beat her son, she fucking dusted him.
    Fourth Panel: A devastated Shiroma is huddling in the corner, hugging his knees and trying not to cry.
    Shiroma’s Thoughts: “My own legless mother can outrun me on a bike? Do I still qualify as a man?”


Author's Notes: This chapter continually took longer than I expected it to. Shortcuts I could pull for the Shizune chapter as far as description goes just didn't work here. This and Shicchan's chapter cover the full range of ages (from under a year to 13 years) that I planned to cover in this series; all other children will fall between those ages. They also cover the full range of atmosphere; Shicchan's was the most serious chapter by far I had planned, and Emi's the most lighthearted.
Next up is likely Rin's. Something I noticed so far: all of my planned stories are one-on-one with a single child (that's part of why I've avoided Hisao; in Katawa Haha as I've envisioned it the relationship between mother and child > the relationship between mother and father, although others are welcome to take the project in different directions). I've realized it would not be inappropriate to make any of the remaining ladies pregnant; there's no reason to force them all into-single child families, and it wouldn't have any effect on the remaining stories I have planned (for Emi it's a no go as she needs to run, and for Shizune's chapter she COULD be pregnant, but they'd be following pretty fast on the heels of their first).
Request time: Is there any of the remaining characters that you, the fanbase, should be portrayed as expecting another child in their Katawa Haha chapter? (Or to put it simply, do any of you horndogs have a pregnancy fetish for one of the girls? ...Wait, why not just put a request in on the Fanart forum then?)
Last edited by Goldilurks on Mon Aug 17, 2009 12:19 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Katawa Haha: Disability Mothers
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Re: Katawa Haha

Post by U.T. Raptor »

Goldilurks wrote:Request time: Is there any of the remaining characters that you, the fanbase, should be portrayed as expecting another child in their Katawa Haha chapter? (Or to put it simply, do any of you horndogs have a pregnancy fetish for one of the girls? ...Wait, why not just put a request in on the Fanart forum then?)
Hanako, no question.
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El Jay
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Re: Katawa Haha

Post by El Jay »

I REALLY like how these stories are turning out. If my tablet pen hadn't borked on me last night, I'd actually sketch some stuff up myself, but... well.. It borked. :< On top of that, I'd LIKE to actually sit my ass down and draw these things out. The only option I'd have right now until I got a decent tablet instead of some 40 dollar thing would be to sketch the hell out of this stuff in a note book and take pictures of the results.
GOD DAMNIT, KENJI. -written sometime around 09-10-

Years later I now can't help but laugh my ass off around that blind sap.
Goldilurks
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Re: Katawa Haha

Post by Goldilurks »

U.T. Raptor wrote:
Goldilurks wrote:Request time: Is there any of the remaining characters that you, the fanbase, should be portrayed as expecting another child in their Katawa Haha chapter? (Or to put it simply, do any of you horndogs have a pregnancy fetish for one of the girls? ...Wait, why not just put a request in on the Fanart forum then?)
Hanako, no question.
I'd imagine this is a favorite pic of yours.

El Jay - Go for it, dude. Whatever works for you. BTW: Speaking as an artist, how useful do you find my scripts?
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Katawa Haha: Disability Mothers
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Re: Katawa Haha

Post by El Jay »

Goldilurks wrote: El Jay - Go for it, dude. Whatever works for you. BTW: Speaking as an artist, how useful do you find my scripts?
Well I've never really done comic pages, but that's out of a lack of practice and problems compiling things in my brain, but the detail you put into these things, like panel placement and viewpoints for example, its quite helpful. I'm good for visualizing things, and the more detail someone puts into the writing, the easier it is to put that onto paper. You put just enough detail into this stuff, not too much and not too little. Enough wiggle room for artistic license, and enough meat to the writing to have it known how you'd like things to turn out.
GOD DAMNIT, KENJI. -written sometime around 09-10-

Years later I now can't help but laugh my ass off around that blind sap.
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Ozymil
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Re: Katawa Haha

Post by Ozymil »

Love the new format, definitely makes things easier to peruse through; same could be said for your writing style, which is much more fluid and enables me to paint a better mental picture of what's happening. That said, while scripts and concepts are all well and good, I just can't fully appreciate the idea without any visual aid. Nothing against you, I'm just being a brat and pleading for someone to actually draw this up.

Now now, request time! I think we can all safely agree th-FUUUUUUUU YOU MUST DO HANAKO NEXT.

Lookin' forward to the next installment.

Also, for future reference, yes, PLEASE switch to English when using titles and formalities. KS is already weeaboo as it is, and having to read through "chan" and "san" every other line would be more Wapanese than I could handle.
Donnes-moi le chocolat, Hisao! Gib mir die Schokolade, Hisao! Dame el chocolate, Hisao! Dammi il cioccolato, Hisao! Ge mig choklad, Hisao! Giv mig chokolade, Hisao! 私にチョコレートを与える, 久夫! Daj mi czekoladę, Hisao! Geef me de chocola, Hisao! (Thanks for the Dutch ver. Leotrak) Bigyan mo ako ng chocolate, Hisao! Geef mij de chocolade, Hisao! Дайте мне шоколад, Хисао! Dá-me o chocolate, Hisao!
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Re: Katawa Haha

Post by Bara »

Most excellent. Brings up images of Emi and child that get away from the "Daaawwww" trap I can see us fans so easily fall into, and brings in touches of humor. :D

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Re: Katawa Haha

Post by G3n0c1de »

As far as I can tell, these are what Emi's 'normal' prosthetics look like. They are at the least, shaped to look like normal legs, and Emi wears stockings to mask that they are artificial. Whenever she isn't running, she wears these. These would only show up when she first appears. When she comes to deliver her son's cell phone, she'd have switched to her legblades. I wonder what these would look like without her stockings and shoes on. I don't know how they work, so perhaps they were designed to work with shoes, or are they advanced enough so that she can wear them with shoes or be 'barefoot'? I'm not saying you did anything wrong, it's more of a visual reference for any artists, I guess. Anyway, Nice chapter for Emi. I can't wait to read the other ones.
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It's a good thing Shizune is deaf, she is the only one who can stand (not) hearing "Wahaha~!" over and over.
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