Katawa Shoujo Forums

Drabbles are, as I understand, not just short, but `precisely 100 words in length` - my references could be wrong, however. My intent isn't to meet a word limit so much as to illustrate scenes, so word count isn't something I am paying a lot of attention to.

Why not just post it all as one long doc? I wanted to be able to post a table of contents with links to the specific scenes, and each post has it's own URL, which makes creating a table of contents possible. Maybe there's another way to do that, with links to points inside of a single monolithic post - if there is, it's my lack of facility with this software that inhibits my doing so.

I also wanted to let people sit with what each scene was trying to say, vs skipping over awkward parts to get to the end. This probably says more about how I read than anything. Perhaps best to simply file it under `artistic license`.

Reading between the lines, although you haven't said so directly, this format seems to be a problem - text is a poor medium for communicating nuance, but I didn't read your post as praise. It's probably best if I just post the rest of the story as a blob.

That said, as I understood board norms, short stories go in one folder, longer stories go in folders on their own. This is a longer story, albeit broken up into individual posts. If formatting, as it stands, is a violation of people's expectations, I'm happy to delete the individual posts and re-post as a single block of text.

--

Hisao

Hisao slept in on graduation day; to be honest, he spent a lot of time sleeping - not because it felt good, but because it didn’t feel bad. The graduation ceremony was probably about half over by the time he’d finished showering - he’d already packed his few possessions; he just needed to take his pills then pack them too, then he was off.

Leaving, he passed by the wall where the marks were posted; it looked like he’d graduated after all - barely. “Well, they’ll mail my records home I guess,” and he moved on.

Walking to the bus stop he saw familiar faces from the year - people he never really got to know, all on their way to their respective futures - faces bright with the thrill and the uncertainty of the challenge. The girl with pink hair - her deaf friend - girlfriend? They spent a lot of time together; he realized he didn’t know. A couple of girls from his class who he’d seen but never spoken to walked by. In junior high he’d just watch people, never approaching them - a habit he’d mostly kept well into senior high, with the almost sole exception of Rin. In the end, no one said goodbye - and there was no one to say goodbye to. Hisao’s face was blank as he waited for the bus to take him on the first leg of his trip to his parents’ home.

..

“What of your future? What plans have you made?” His father was careful not to push Hisao too hard on the subject; since his accident his parents tried to be gentle, but his father was firm.

“I thought I’d take a break year - the accident .. I still feel I’m getting over it.”

“Didn’t Yamaku prepare you for University? That’s what it was supposed to do.”

“I guess it was .. but it wasn’t very challenging.”

“The state of your marks make it look challenging enough.”

Hisao shrugged. “I could be a NEET,” he thought; he liked the idea of never seeing anyone ever again, but the idea of being cooped up inside his room reminded him too much of being in the hospital - a fate that repulsed him.

His mother was more sympathetic.

“Well, with these marks you’re not getting into University anyhow - maybe a break year would be a good idea; you could go to a cram school.”

“Great,” he thought - “.. more school.” More of the same pointless waste of time.

“I thought maybe a gap year spent working ..” At anything - anything to keep his mind occupied.

..

The next day Hisao dropped off his resume at several konbinis near his parents’ house. He had graduated and retail jobs didn’t really care about marks - a GPA only mattered if you were planning on moving on in the world. Unconsciously, he supposed, he’d already made up his mind about that path.

--

They are not a problem, but while hyperlinking allows for instant skipping to specific lines or words in a sizable work, in a way which is unavailable in traditional media... the whole work so far fits into a single forum page, and the projected rest would perhaps barely break two.

You are right that I did not mean my comment to sound as praise, since this appears more like "look at ME writing" than "look at MY writing" to me, if this makes sense to you.

That said, as I understood board norms, short stories go in one folder, longer stories go in folders on their own.

There's not really a "norm" on this. Different people do different things. Some people give each of their short stories a different topic. Some include their short work in the same topic as their long. Some have indexes. Some don't.

Do what works for you. Don't feel you HAVE to do it one particular way.

As long as you're not breaking different chapter into different posts you should be okay.

NB - Because I believe text to be a poor medium for communicating nuance (otherwise, why would we have emojiis?) please take all of the following as a serious attempt to understand forum norms; there should be no assumption of any other intent (eg. sarcasm, duplicity, or other ill-intent). If any of the following is documented elsewhere (FAQ / EULA / AUP) and I've missed it, please accept my sincere apologies.
-

You are right that I did not mean my comment to sound as praise, since this appears more like "look at ME writing" than "look at MY writing" to me, if this makes sense to you.

re: "Look at ME writing" - that doesn't resonate with me, which doesn't mean some people might not use this format of posting for that purpose, or that I'm trying to argue the point - just that I don't see it as a method of self-aggrandizement; you have a privileged vantage point where you might have seen that sort of behaviour and I don't - I accept that.

That said, I'm glad I perceived your intent (re: praise, or the lack thereof) correctly. However, it was a guess (see above comment re: text being poor at communicating nuance).

What I'm taking from your comments are the following - please let me know if I'm interpreting your comments correctly; if I'm not, any specific guidance you can offer will be observed and applied to the best of my ability:


Complete posts of prose ..

1 .. should be appreciably more than 100 words, unless specified as a Drabble, in which case they should be exactly 100 words.

2 .. less than 100 words should be avoided (if not outright prohibited). Complete posts of prose that are not drabbles should, ideally, be closer to 200 or more words.

3 .. less than one forum page [Which appears to be a difficult metric to define - forum pages' length appear to variable in terms of wordcount before they roll over; I've just poured 6000+ words into a folder and I'm still on page one. Many other pages, chosen at random, appear to roll over at 22 posts - food for thought as to whether this is a useful metric] should be posted in a 'short' or 'one shots' folder, otherwise being posted in their own folder is fine.

4 .. should be appreciably longer than one forum page - presumably closer to two forum pages to comfortably fit within this rubric.

--

(Sorry Oddball - responding to Silentcook here)

Asoko_Desu wrote: ↑Mon Jan 09, 2023 10:11 am
Why not just post it all as one long doc? I wanted to be able to post a table of contents with links to the specific scenes, and each post has it's own URL, which makes creating a table of contents possible. Maybe there's another way to do that, with links to points inside of a single monolithic post - if there is, it's my lack of facility with this software that inhibits my doing so.

FWIW, I found a reference to [anchor] and [goto] tags (https://www.phpbb.com/community/viewtop ... p=13318924), but they don't seem to work on our instance of phpBB .. or I'm doing this wrong

--

NB - You Should Have Seen the Other Guy and Epilogue are not found in the table of contents - if the story had been posted in instalments as originally intended, they would have appeared as easter eggs, answering a couple of unanswered questions - one question from this story; and one for the next.

--

Emi

Emi surveyed her new digs - more spacious than her Yamaku dorm, but not by much - not that it mattered; the track was where she wanted to be. The athletic facilities were busier here than she was used to, but there were always plenty of track lanes open for free running.

Books and clothes sorted and stored, Emi headed off to her first class of University.

..

Thinking briefly of Kenji, she surveyed the hard bodies in her kinesiology class; “Fun while it lasted, but time to trade up girl.” Besides, she hadn’t heard from Kenji in a while; he didn’t trust email and hadn’t attended graduation - she didn’t know if he’d even graduated, much less where he may be now.

With an athletic scholarship and her natural talent, who knows what the future might hold? Emi looked forward to settling into a daily rhythm of running, lectures, and more running. A boy with tousled hair turned to smile at her and made room for her to sit down beside him as the lecture started. “Ok, maybe room for more than just running and lectures,” she thought to herself.

--

Homecoming

Rin’s parent’s house was much as Rin remembered it - they didn’t live in Osaka proper, but in a small rural town so far on its outskirts it may as well be part of the next major city over. It was beautiful, as it had been when Rin was small - forests and trees and brush surrounded it as far as the eye could see.

“Sana - ” Rin’s mother called, opening the front door “- We’re home .. Rin’s with us.”

Rin’s older sister Sana emerged from her room - she was visiting on a break from University and hadn’t expected her parents to return from their `day trip` with Rin.

“Oh?” She said, listlessly - until she took a look at Rin.

“What the hell? What has Rin been up to .. no, wait, forget I asked that. It’s obvious.”

“Rin’s come home to stay - that school .. wasn’t right for her. She’ll be where she’ll get the support she needs - at home.”

Sana was outraged - “So she’s home now - for good? It disgusts me how you’ve fawned over her since the day she was born. And now this - she’s nothing but an embarrassment to the family! Does she even know the father? I was right when I said she should have been put in an institution and you told me I was wrong but I was right!” Tears of rage streamed down Sana’s face. Rin stood impassively by.

The girls’ mother tried to defend Rin - “Sana, how can you say that? She’s your family; your own flesh and blood.”



“So you keep reminding me. She’s disgraced us all; I want nothing to do with her - nothing! She’s no more use than a broken doll!” And with that, Sana grabbed her jacket and stormed out, slamming the front door behind her. There was the sound of her car’s tires spinning on the gravel shoulder outside, and then she was gone.

--

March 13, 2008

Rin’s 19th birthday came and went without fanfare. Rin’s mother may have kissed her on the forehead that morning before leaving for work, but then that’s what she usually did.

--

Happy Birthday

“Mom - it hurts.”

“It’s ok dear - that means the baby is coming. Let’s get you to the hospital; they’re expecting you.”

Rin’s mother carried an overnight bag for Rin and helped her to the car; easing the passenger seat as far back as it would go to make room; Rin’s mother sat in the seat behind Rin’s father. Awkwardly arranging the seatbelt around Rin’s distended abdomen, Rin’s father drove as quickly as he could to the hospital.

Less than a month after her 19th birthday, Rin’s water broke just as she was being checked in to the hospital. The contractions coming faster and faster, they hurried her into a gown and off to a delivery room. Partly sedated under the effects of an epidural, Rin heard the doctor’s instructions to push as if through thick wool.

Where her conscious mind had checked out under the effects of the sedation, her body stepped up to perfectly execute what was required of it to bring a new life into the world. Rin looked up at the sound of a baby crying - sweat pouring off her brow and into her eyes made it hard to see the red squalling thing before her.

“It’s a girl - what will her name be?” Asked the nurse holding the baby.

“Aiko” answered Rin, feeling as if she was speaking from the bottom of a pile of soaking wet blankets. “Her name is Aiko.”

“Fine” her father said “Let it be Aiko. It doesn’t matter; that’s what Rin will call her anyhow.”

Aiko’s birth certificate read: “Tezuka, Aiko - female. Born April 4, 2008”

..

Going home, Rin sat up front, slouched down in her seat watching the sky and trees go by. Rin’s mother sat in the back with the baby while her husband drove.

Over the days, Rin paid almost no attention to Aiko - Rin’s mother would hold Aiko to Rin to feed, but Rin paid no attention to the baby at her chest, shifting briefly as her mother took the baby away to nap or be changed.

“Do you want to help change Aiko’s diaper?” Rin’s mother would ask, but Rin would just reply that Hisao could take care of it - “He’s the handy one.”

At the mention of Hisao, her mother’s mouth would draw into a thin line, but knowing it would just go in one ear and out the other, she said nothing.

--

Later Days

Rin sat under a worry tree - one of several she’d adopted. “I suppose I don’t need to paint much now, anymore, especially if no one will understand me when I do. Why did Hisao say that?” She shut her eyes tightly - “Why even bother?”

Rin lay back in the grass, presently looking through the branches at the sky - “A whole forest of worry trees. I didn’t know there could be so many ..”

Rin spoke aloud, to no one in particular - “I've changed again - into what - I don’t know. Is this what I was meant to become?” Rin shrugged, dismissing the thought, got up and resumed wandering through the forest.

--

Six Metres Farther from Heaven

Emi turned her car into the gravel driveway in front of the old house. Her headlamps showed the number to be correct and the porch light was on, offering a semblance of welcome.

Rin’s mother answered Emi’s knock at the door -

“Thank you so much for coming on such short notice - we never know when she’ll be home, but she seems to have hurt her foot and we were able to convince her to stay put until it heals at least.”

“I got your message - Rin’s not well?”

“Rin’s .. well, you know Rin. Maybe you should meet her and talk to her for yourself. Now’s a good time - Aiko’s asleep upstairs.”

“Aiko” - Rin’s mother’s message had mentioned her. “Years; it has been years,” Emi thought - Rin’s baby must be a child by now Emi realized.

Rin had always been very `Rin`; she’d been happy once - she had her whole future in front of her, but quirks that seemed charming in high school might seem less so in adulthood. Emi’s experience with the adult world and how things could turn out gave her a sense of foreboding.

..

“You were one of her only friends,” Rin’s mother said, jarring Emi out of her introspection.


“Was,” Emi thought - but that suddenly seemed a very long time ago.

“There was another ..”

“We don’t talk about him - ever; not after what he did to her.”

“Does Rin have any siblings - she never mentioned any.”

“One - an older sister; Sana. Sana’s at university now doing graduate work - she seldom comes home. They never really got along, unfortunately.”

Rin’s mother continued - “Rin; she stays home for a bit, but then she gets bored and starts wandering again. Sometimes she lines up her paint brushes and talks to them, but that never entertains her for long, and then she’s off.”

“I’m not sure exactly what you want me to say to her.”

“We just want her to be safe is all.”

..

Emi walked down the corridor to Rin’s room - not entirely sure what she should say - or how. She knocked gently -

“Rin? It’s me - Emi.”

Emi opened the door and saw a Rin she barely recognized - the essential Rin was still there, but her face, never conventionally pretty, now looked haggard - drawn, almost sculpted by the elements. Her hair was unkempt - it showed some recent inexpert effort at hacking tangles out of it - probably her parent’s doing. Rin appeared to have given up wearing sandals and taken to walking barefoot - her feet red and raw, her overalls ragged at the cuff and threadbare at the knees.

“Emi?”

Emi recoiled inwardly, almost failing to hide her dismay and was instantly ashamed for her reaction. Familiar with seeing people in crisis in the bigger cities, Emi was unprepared to find it here in this almost idyllic rural landscape - certainly she hadn’t expected it to assault her memory of someone she’d once been very close to. Emi felt as if she’d been expecting to bite into a ripe, sweet persimmon, only to find it had rotted in the drawer.

Outwardly - she hoped - she had kept a bright and professional face. She hadn’t used her puppy-dog eyes in years, but was prepared to wield them here if need be.

“Is Hisao with you?”

“No, Rin - I’m sorry - Hisao’s not with me. How have you been?” asked Emi, tentatively.

Rin’s attention, briefly focussed on Emi’s answer, faded. She didn’t appear disappointed - just disinterested.

“You hurt your foot?”

“You should have seen the other guy.”

At least Rin could still be counted on to be enigmatic. Still, Emi felt herself lost in that space where two old friends who once had much in common, meeting after years, find that they no longer do.

“Rin .. they, your parents, told me you had a baby ..”

Rin’s mother’s message had briefly brought Emi up to speed on Rin’s life post-Yamaku, but hadn’t gone into detail - not mentioning how Rin had failed to bond with the baby, almost entirely failing to acknowledge it; only asking where Hisao was, and how Rin had gradually drifted away into a world entirely of her own making.

Rin turned away from Emi - looking out the window, her eyes unfocussed; there was a dreaminess to her response -

“Did I? I think there was one - but that was another Rin - the Rin that was with Hisao. Does this Rin have one? I don’t know - this Rin doesn’t have a Hisao either.”

Her eyes focus on Emi in a moment of sharp lucidity -

“Why didn’t he come after me?”

Rin shakes her head to dismiss the thought - her eyes unfocus again as she returns to staring out the window.

Emi pauses - unsure whether to continue down that track. It was clear from how Rin’s parents spoke that they absolutely did not want Rin to have anything to do with Hisao. She decided to change tack -

“What do you eat?”

“Whatever. Eggs don’t run away - they’re like little round parts of the sky come to earth you know.”

Emi was plainly disturbed by Rin’s response - her mask of composure slipping, but Rin took no notice.

“Do you want to stay for dinner? We could go up on the roof to eat like we used to.”

“I’m sorry Rin - I, it’s .. a bit late for that; it’s dark out - it wouldn’t be safe.”

..

“I’ve talked to her, but I don’t know if it’ll do any good .. I think she needs a professional’s help. She seems to want to see Hisao.. It’s been years - would there be any harm in, perhaps ..”

“Thank you Ms. Ibarazaki, but no - we’re not going to let that that selfish, wicked boy hurt Rin again - we don’t want to get her hopes up. We had so hoped that she would meet a boy who valued her - cherished her - but .. ”

Emi faintly remembered Hisao - she struggled to remember what he looked like - he wasn’t so much wicked or selfish as lost, unable to find himself; he and Rin had just stumbled into each other’s orbit and stuck there.

If Emi had known how close they were, she could have done something to intervene - anything, but Rin had resolutely kept the intimacies of her relationship with Hisao to herself. And anyway, after their blowup over the disaster at the art gallery, Rin had pretty much shut Emi out entirely.

Mrs. Tezuka abruptly re-composed herself -

“We appreciate your effort - we really do, but we don’t believe in psychologists or other ‘ists’; we believe that with enough love, our Rin will come back to us - we can’t keep her in a cage after all.”

Emi and Rin’s parents said polite goodbyes; Emi raced back to her car, perhaps faster than the minor spattering of rain called for. Emi closed the driver’s door hard, trying and failing to keep from crying in frustration and helplessness. She beat the heels of her hands against the steering wheel - how do you deal with the feeling that you should have been there for someone when they needed you, but that time was a decade ago and you’re only coming to realize the fact now.

Emi’s breath ragged, she composed herself to drive. She set a packet of tissues on her car’s dashboard as she knew she’d need them again before she reached home.

--

Leaving View

“Rin? Are you there?”


Rin’s mother pressed back the wild grasses; her husband held her hand to steady her along the thin path.

They found Rin in a small clearing of flattened brush. Ratty, matted hair, dirty face; her overalls ragged at the cuff and worn through at the knees - no expression on her face.

“Come, Rin, we’re going to clean you up.” Without resistance, but also without inclination, Rin held her arm out to be taken by her mother’s hand, allowing herself to be led out of the tall grasses.

“We’re getting too old for this.” Rin’s father commented to no one in particular.

“I know dear, but if we don’t come for Rin, who will?” Still leading Rin, her mother spoke as if Rin wasn’t there. No matter - Rin rarely acknowledged their presence even if directly addressed.

“Who’ll beat the brakes to find where she’s hidden herself? Sana’s left long ago and Aiko is too young to do it.”

“Then, when we’re gone, we’ll have to trust Rin to come home on her own - we’ll show Aiko how to put food out where animals and insects can’t get at it. If Rin’s hungry, well, she’ll come to where the food is.”

Cleaned up and with burrs cut out of her hair, the morning would eventually come when Rin would be gone again - then Rin’s parents would go looking for her until the day when they no longer could.

Seasons ended and returned. In the natural progression of things, Rin’s parents passed away and Aiko inherited the house - Rin’s mother taught Aiko how to make food that wouldn’t spoil quickly and to put it out in a latched metal box that neither animals nor insects could get at; true to her promise to do so, Aiko did as she was taught.

For a time, Rin would come and get her provisions, but the intervals between her coming home grew longer and longer; days becoming weeks becoming seasons, eventually becoming years becoming never. Aiko stayed at the house as long as the bank account her parents left her allowed her to do so, but ultimately, not having seen Rin in terribly long, she sold the house and moved away to the city.

Aiko wondered whatever became of Rin, but, after all, Rin wasn’t a bird - it would have been wrong to cage her, as her parents had said.

--

Tezuka Aiko

Aiko had inherited the fiery red of her hair from her mother, and the unruliness of it from her father.

She had kept the old house for years after her grandparent’s passing, and had set up cameras to see if Rin ever came by, but she hadn’t. Rin had stopped picking up the food her parents had put out for her a year before they’d passed. For a time, Aiko, more out of curiosity than hope, but still hope, put out food on the chance her mother would one day reappear.

Her grandparents had left the house to Aiko so that Rin would have a place to come home to, but after years of fruitless waiting Aiko decided to just sell the house rather than watch it collapse in disrepair - there was no point in waiting for something that was never going to happen.

Aiko kept in distant touch with her aunt Sana, who hadn’t really been around while Aiko was growing up. Sana never successfully hid the fact that she regarded Aiko’s existence as an extension of the `special treatment` and `coddling` Rin got, and resented Aiko accordingly.

--