Katawa Shoujo Forums

Part Seven
 
Over the next several days, Hisao and I take turns staying at home to keep Lilly company. Neither of us say it, but I get the idea Hisao might be worried Lilly could hurt herself, accidentally or otherwise.
Both he and I contact Shizune and explain the situation to her and Misha. The two of them tell us to take as much time off work as needed.
 
When Lilly is awake, she's silent, sitting up in bed, her bandaged hands folded on her lap. She feeds herself, she drinks tea and she sleeps, but she never talks. Hisao lies in bed with her and the two of them just hold each other. When I watch Lilly I sit in a chair, sometimes with a book. I do very little reading and I usually end up doing nothing more than hold onto it.
I'm not comfortable in their bedroom.
 
On the fifth day I leave to answer the phone, Lilly asleep in the bed. It's Hisao calling from Yamaku. He asks all the same questions he has been the last several days when he heads into work; How is Lilly? Is she eating? Has she said anything?
I give him all the same answers as every time before and none of them are what he wants to hear.
He thanks me and hangs up.
 
I want to scream and slam the phone into the receiver and smash it into little, tiny pieces. Every time I have a chance to talk to him I screw it up. I end up passing by every opportunity and things just keep getting worse and worse.
 
[Friendship]
Going back to the bedroom, I'm surprised to find Lilly standing in front of the open window wearing her clingy night robe, her hair unbound and moving through the breeze.
“L-Lilly?”
She turns towards me and she smiles like she used too.
“Hanako, hello. Tell me, what time is it?”
“It's just after lunch.”
“Hm. I thought I was getting hungry.”
I stand outside the room looking in through the door.
“Are y-you okay?”
Lilly thinks about it for a while before answering.
“I think I am now.”
She waits for me to come closer.
When I don't, she smiles at me and curls her long fingers, beckoning me into the room.
“Hanako, dear, you don't have to stand in the doorway. Come in, please. I just wanted some fresh air in here, that's all. I'm glad your back; I've become terribly bored.“
She holds up her bandaged hands helplessly.
"I'd do some reading, but I guess that would be difficult given the circumstances."
 
It must be hard for her without her sight having to reply on her other senses so much. Losing one of them, like touch, must be very troubling for her, especially knowing it was through her own actions that led to it's loss.
 
I meekly enter but only a few steps inside the door.
Lilly turns away from the window and moves through her bedroom with ease, every piece of furniture and object memorized and kept in it's proper place. When we all first moved in together, it was hard to get into the habit of making sure everything was exactly where it was supposed to be. Even a table a few inches off center could be a dangerous tripping hazard to Lilly. Still, it ended up giving the whole house a very neat and tidy appearance and that was no where more evident than Hisao's and Lilly's bedroom.
 
From her dresser Lilly picks up a long ribbon of black silk with a few stray gold hairs on it. She sits back in bed and lightly tosses the covers back.
She pats the bed next to her.
“Hanako, would you join me?”
 
I do and enter further into the room, sitting meekly on the bed next to Lilly. She carefully gathers her hair up and ties the black ribbon into a distinctive bow. Then she arranges the pillows propped up against the headboard and pats the bed again.
“You can sit here, Hanako.”
 
I already feel uncomfortable enough sitting on Hisao's and Lilly's bed, but I don't want to deny Lilly so I climb in next to her. She wraps the covers around the two us and we lay next to each other.
I have to admit, it feels really nice.
My discomfort slowly vanishes and I rest my head against Lilly, she doing the same.
"Thank you for watching me the last couple days. I really didn't want to be alone and it was nice having the company."
I smile up at Lilly and try my best not to stutter.
"It's o-okay. Hisao and I were worried about you."
 
Her face grows concerned and a frown appears on her lips.
"I'm sorry to have troubled the two of you. I should not have acted that way and I apologize for it."
Her face screws up a little.
"On top of that, I broke our favorite tea set."
 
I shake my head, snuggling closer to Lilly as I do.
"No, it's all right. You just...j-just were upset, that's all."
 
Lilly smiles and puts her arms around me, trailing her fingers up and down my arm, making goosebumps quiver on my skin. She begins humming and the sound, after all the trouble over the last few days, makes me feel drowsy.
Her gentle touch brushes against the bandage on my arm and I can't help but flinch.
"What's this?" she asks concerned.
I hesitate before telling her, not sure what I should say.
"I just...got a little burned from the tea, that's all."
 
Lilly's mouth drops open a little in surprise and alarm and she speaks in a tiny, broken whisper, pulling away from me as if her touch would harm me.
"I...burned you?"
"It's all right. It's all better now, Hisao helped," I try to reassure her.
 
She looks monumentally upset and she takes me by surprise by wrapping me in the tightest hug she's ever given me.
I become aware that she's naked under her silk robe.
Lilly starts crying and I can feel her tears run down my neck.
"I'm so sorry, Hanako! I'm so sorry! I was so upset, I never meant to hurt you!"
 
My face turns red as I feel all of her against me, her warm skin against mine. She gives a little sob as she continues to pour out her emotion.
"I just...I just don't understand what's happening to me! It feels like everything has gone wrong. I thought...I thought it was Hisao! I never imagined the problem was with me. I never even thought it was possible! I didn't notice anything wrong, I thought that it was bad luck or his medication. But it was me! It's all my fault!"
 
She breaks the hug and I'm sad to see her pull away. Tears roll down Lilly's porcelain cheeks and her chin quivers, her hands clutching at her stomach protectively.
"For the first time in my life, I feel like there's something wrong with me! I feel like I'm... ugly and rotted out inside!"
 
I hate the sounds of those words coming out of her mouth. I want to shout and shake her out of it and tell her how wrong she is, how perfect she actually is!
There's nothing wrong with Lilly! The idea is impossible!
 
[Innocence]
"Lilly, you're wrong!" I shout.
 
Lilly stiffens a bit and sniffles a bit. "What?"
 
"Lilly, you're the most wonderful person in the world! When no one else would help me or reach out to me, you did! You showed me I could make friends and do the things I wanted, gave me courage and confidence. Without you and Hisao I don't know where I would be. I'd....I'd be dead, I just know it!"
 
I can feel the tears start rolling down my own cheeks.
 
"You and Hisao are the most important people in my life and I can't imagine living without you! You taught me it doesn't matter how you were born or what you look like or what problems you have. My scars and your scars don't define us as people!"
 
Lilly is very quiet, her eyes open in surprise, tears gently resting on her cheeks as she listens to me talk. I gently touch her face and wipe them away.
 
"You mean so much to me, Lilly, I can't even put it into words. You showed me once how beautiful I could be and hearing you say these things breaks my heart! They're not true, Lilly! They can't be true about someone I love so much!"
 
Lilly keeps that surprised look on her face, as if something were going on in her mind, a long, complicated process slowly winding up into full movement.
 
She seems to come to a realization, smiles at me and wipes her remaining tears away.
The she holds me close and wraps my face in her hands, touching our foreheads together before she kisses me.
Then she kisses me again.
And again.
 
Each time I can't help but gasp in surprise at the intimate feeling of her lips against my skin. My body shakes and again I'm aware that nothing is between me and Lilly except her silk robe.
 
Lilly presses herself against me and we lie in bed together again, our breathing slowly matching one another.
I start to get drowsy, surprised by how comfortable this feeling is, Lilly's arms wrapped around me, my arms around her, slowly drifting off to sleep in each others embrace, slowly melting into one another.
If I wasn't suddenly so tired, I'd change out of my clothes.
The last thing I remember before sleep overtakes me is Lilly's breath against my ear.
"I love you, too, Hanako."
 
----------------------------------------

Part Eight
 
"Can you hear me now?
"I can hear you, but I can't see you! What the hell is wrong with this thing?!"
"I can't see you either, just be patient, it might be buffering. Is it buffering on your end?"
"What the hell does buffering mean? Oh, God, what is this, I'm not good with computers!"
 
I try not to laugh at her expense.
I'm in my room, sitting in front of my computer after getting up particularly early. It's been a couple weeks since the doctor's appointment. Lilly, Hisao and myself are back to work but every day seems more stressed than the last. Our dinners, usually so warm and friendly, have become subdued and quiet affairs. There's no sense of discomfort, but we don't talk much. We just kind of float around the house together doing nothing in particular.
I still haven't talked to Hisao about the kiss yet. Lilly doesn't know either.
I think.
 
The truth is, I don't know anymore how I feel. About Hisao or Lilly or even myself.
I need someone to talk to. Someone I can trust.
 
"Try checking the U.S.B cable in the back, it might be loose."
There's a few shuffling and clicking sounds coming over my speakers. Eventually my screen flashes and I get an image.
My face goes totally red and I avert my eyes.
 
I'm now staring down the shirt of a modestly endowed woman wearing a frilly and expensive looking black bra.
"Um, Akira? Y-you might want to be careful about the camera...."
 
[Red Velvet]
The woman pulls away from the camera, after having leaned over her computer to plug in a cord behind the monitor. Akira looks down at her partially unbuttoned shirt and then smiles at me with all her teeth.
"Sorry about that, Hanako! Didn't mean to give you a free show!"
 
Her eyebrows waggle a bit.
"Although these cameras are a little pervy, when you think about it."
 
It's been a while since Akira visited us in Japan. She hasn't changed much, but I can see just a tiny touch of smile lines beginning to crease her face. If anything it makes her look even more open and friendly than before. She's grown her hair out just a little and she looks as if she just climbed out of bed.
Considering what time it is in Scotland, that seems unlikely.
Then again, Akira was never very predictable.
As usual, she has a glass of something in her hand, amber with a few ice cubes floating around freely, holding it with a carefree and loose grip.
 
Akira peers through the camera at me.
"Damn, Hanako! You've done some growing up! Look at you! You must have to keep the guys off with a stick, huh? I bet you got Hisao watching your back, right?"
 
I blush and thank her. Even with so much distance, Akira's presence can sometimes feel a little suffocating to me.
She chuckles and smiles like the Cheshire cat.
"I hope there's no problems. Pretty girls like you can be a real temptation to a married man!"
 
I wince and try to hide it. I know she's only trying to compliment me, but the jab hits too close to home.
 
Akira doesn't seem to take notice, though.
"So how are things in Scotland?" I ask, changing the subject.
Akira sighs and bobs her head back and forth in a so-so manner. "Head of Legal isn't all that's it's cracked up to be. Sometimes I pine for the luxury of nepotism. Being the Boss' kid here though just means everyone is either afraid of you or watching for any mistake you make."
"How is your family, anyway?"
 
Akira grins mischievously. "As belligerent as ever. Tell Lilly, Mother and Father say 'hello'. If you can, scowl while you say 'hello' for Dad. And tell Hisao not to accept any unmarked packages from Scotland. He still hasn't forgiven him for stealing his daughter away."
 
Her eyes light up for a minute. "Speaking of which, did he get my latest care package?"
I nod and smile. "Yea, Hisao loved it. The Scotch didn't last long after he and Kenji got a hold of it, but he wore the kilt for a few days until both me and Lilly had to make him take it off. He looked ridiculous."
 
Akira looks a little confused.
"Every time he wore it," I explain, "he spoke in a really bad accent. Lilly hated it! Kept calling her 'bonny lass' and singing 'Will you, Go, Lassie, Go'."
Akira throws her arms in the air, nearly losing he drink as she laughs. "Record it and send it to me! It'll drive Father nuts! I'll make it my new ring tone!"
 
We both laugh for a while before we get control of ourselves again.
 
"So what's up?" Akira asks, "When I got the e-mail to set this little video chat up it sounded like you had something pretty serious on your mind. I would have been on sooner, but my boyfriend is the computer literate one here and I banished him from the Internet for downloading naughty things."
 
I wring my hands together for a minute before I decide how to proceed, steeling myself with a long breath.
"Have you...talked to Lilly or Hisao at all lately?"
Akira shakes her head. "No, not really. Is something wrong?"
I sigh.
"Well, yea. A little."
I tell her everything.
Hisao and Lilly trying to have a baby, Lilly's doctor appointment, I even tell her about the kiss.
 
By the time I'm done, I'm holding back my tears. It feels good to confess to someone, but at the same time, it's heartbreaking to admit what happened.
Akira listens silently, patiently letting me talk until I'm done and finished. With a very thoughtful expression, she drains her glass and twirls it in her hand, letting the ice cubes clink against the sides.
 
"First," she says after a long pause, "sorry about the married comment earlier."
 
I nod.
 
"Second...."
Akira stops, looking very unsure. The cameras may bring us face to face, but even all the miles between us isn't enough for us both to be totally comfortable with the situation.
"Second, you're not helping yourself or the two of them by not talking about it. Hanako, this sort of thing can blow up if you don't deal with it right away. It's not going to be easy, but my suggestion is to sit down and have a talk about it with Lilly and Hisao."
 
She looks at me poignantly through the camera's eye. "You need to talk to them, Hanako."
 
I nod again.
 
"I just don't want Lilly to hate me."
 
Akira shakes her head, reaching off camera and pouring more of her sdrink into her glass, replacing a few ice cubes from a small silver bucket.
"That's impossible. Lilly could never hate you, Hanako. Neither could Hisao."
She looks thoughtful for a minute.
"They love you more than I can say."
 
Topping off her drink, Akira holds it mid air between table and lip.
"Still, I'm surprised Lilly didn't say anything about her health to me."
Akira looks sad and disappointed, upset that Lilly either wouldn't open up to her about this sort of thing or that she would be holding back so as not to worry her older sister on her behalf.
 
"Lilly really hasn't had a chance to talk to you since then. I'm sure it only slipped her mind."
 
Akira shakes her head and takes a rather long drag. "No, that's not her style. Even after all this time she won't open up to others and let them worry about her for a change. Always the strong one, always the one who has to take care of others. Did you know once when we were kids that she got lost and didn't call me to help because I was at work and she didn't want to trouble me? How ridiculous is that?"
 
I didn't know that about Lilly, but it sounds like something she would do.
"She's strong, I'll give her that," Akira continues, "but no one should have to keep everything bottled up like that. She's more open with you than she is with me."
 
I shake my head. "That's not true, Akira. You two are very close."
Akira shrugs and drinks more.
"Maybe we used to be. But with work and the distance...me and Lilly aren't as close as we once were. I talk to Hisao over the Internet more than I do with Lilly and that's only partly because she's terrible at computers, worse than I am. Even over the phone, our conversations are pretty short nowadays."
 
Akira shrugs.
"I just guess that's how things are, you know. Lilly and I started down different roads a long time ago. She got a family. She has you and Hisao. I went the professional route, the safe route."
 
Akira looks off camera, her eyes trailing around the office she sits in. "Lot of good it does me these days."
 
Akira fixes me with a steady look and I can see a little bit of the drink getting to her.
"You're more of a sister to Lilly than I've ever been, Hanako. That's why I know you'll do the right thing and talk to them. They need you now more than ever."
 
The entire time Akira talks, I listen to her words, thinking what she says over.
She's right. It's not fair to keep this quite. Lilly deserves to know what happened and I need to make sure she knows it was my fault, not Hisao's.
 
Thinking about it though, he did kiss me back.
How do I explain that?
 
I realize Akira is still talking over the speaker and I snap to attention.
"I'm sorry, Akira, what did you say?"
She looks at me with a little bit of a lazy eye. "I said it would be kind of fun. Thinking about if we had done things differently. You know, Lilly became the professional and I settled down with a family. I don't blame you for kissing Hisao, Hanako, he's gotten a little sexy in his age. First time I met him I didn't think much of him, just another guy chasing Lilly's skirt, but after I got to know him, he kind of grew on me. I'm glad I didn't have to end up scaring him away like all the other guys. All I'm saying is that I wouldn't mind switching places with Lilly for a little while, see what it's like."
 
I think about what Akira says and a thought occurs to me. A smile stars to spread on my face.
"You know what, Akira? You can get pretty smart when you drink."
 
She looks at me through the camera lens a little surprised, then seems to notice her now empty glass for the first time.
She winks at me and clicks her tongue playfully.
"Really? Thanks for saying so. I get a lot of practice in Scotland dealing with the family."
 
----------------------------------------

Part Nine
 
I spend the rest of the day on the computer, getting only a few hours sleep before work. Like it has been the last few weeks, the routine of getting ready for work is spent in silence, the three of us just trying to keep moving. Several times I catch Lilly or Hisao looking at me as if they are about to say something, but they never do.
 
They don't hold each others hands as much as they used too.
I haven't seen them kiss either.
 
I'm scared and frightened, but there just doesn't seem to be anything that I can do to change the course of the events that are taking place. I feel adrift, lost in the current and unable to affect the outcome.
 
Could I possibly fix things on my own? What can I possibly do to help Hisao and Lilly? I'm the cause of most of this.
If I hadn't been so stupid and kissed Hisao....
I think about the kiss more and more as time goes on. I hate that it happened, but how can I hate something that felt so wonderful?
Thinking back, I remember the way Hisao looked at me moments before I ruined everything. He looked at me with so much admiration and love. In that moment he looked up to me and I squandered it all.
 
Knowing that, knowing how strong Hisao thinks I am, how can I let him down? I have to do this, I have to fix things.
Hisao believes in me.
Lilly believes in me.
 
I can do this.
If only for them.
 
I spend the work day in my office, still on the computer, looking up sites and doing research. I pay a visit to the Nurse's office over lunch and we have a very long talk which ends well.
 
By the time school lets out and the students head out of class for the weekend, I'm feeling a lot better than I have in a long time. I still have a pit of apprehension in my stomach, but after talking to Akira, I think I have a handle on the situation.
 
I walk through Yamaku's gates towards the parking lot.
Next to the car, I see Hisao and Lilly facing each other, holding each others hands and talking very quietly.
Hisao sees me approach. How they do it, I'm not sure, but they both stop talking in unison and let each other go.
"All set, Hanako?" Hisao asks.
 
I hesitate for a moment before I speak. "Yes. When we get home though, there's something I'd like to talk to both of you about."
Hisao nods, but I see a little look of alarm pass through his eyes.
Lilly looks worried.
"Of course." Hisao says.
 
----------------------------------------
 
It's much later now. We've had dinner and cleared the table and the three of us sit around a tea set with cups and steaming vanilla filling the air. The steam curls around us, the sweet aroma helping to calm me as Hisao and Lilly wait for me to speak.
 
What I'm about to do could change our family forever. I'm reluctant to start and I hesitate, several times trying to say the words that have been bouncing around my head, but unable to put them to tongue.
Lilly and Hisao wait patiently for me.
 
[Wiosna]
"I know things have been really difficult lately. I know how much you two want a child and now that you can't have one, I see how hard you've been taking it."
 
Lilly shifts uncomfortably and Hisao stares down into his tea.
 
"We've been acting like ghosts in this house since you got the news. Avoiding each other, not looking each other in the eye. We've become too fragile and it's tearing me apart to see us like this."
I collect my thoughts, watching my reflection in the shiny tabletop.
"I want the both of you to know that you are the most important people in my life and I'll never be able to repay you for everything you've done for me."
 
I look up and take Lilly's hand.
"Lilly, you took care of me when I needed it. You protected me and gave me strength by just being there. You were my friend when I didn't have any. If you hadn't been around I would have wasted my entire life in a book, trying to hide from the world until it crushed me. Thanks to you, I've dealt with my issues and now I'm helping other children deal with their own, healing them the same way you healed me. Thank you so much."
 
I take Hisao's hand in my other.
"Hisao, Lilly protected me, but you challenged me. You started hanging out with Lilly, but you were so kind and curious about me. I didn't know what it was at first. I thought you were just interested in Lilly, but I realized that wasn't it at all. You honestly wanted to be my friend. But you didn't try to shield me from the world, you wanted to make me a part of it, help bring me into it. It's because of you that I'm as strong as I am now. Thank you, Hisao."
 
I hold their hands for a while, head down, silently urging myself on.
"I know this has been hard, but I owe you so much. I can't stand to see disappointment on either of your faces. You helped me so I want to help you."
 
I look up and squeeze their hands.
"I-I want to be your s-surrogate. I want to have your child for you."
 
Both Hisao and Lilly are taken aback by my statement.
Hisao is speechless.
 
"Hanako," Lilly says, "even if it's possible, we could never ask you to do something like this for us. It's too much of a responsibility. It's unfair to you to ask you to take on such a burden."
 
I shake my head. "It is possible. I've already looked into it. I even talked to Nurse about it. Besides, you don't have to ask, that's the point. I want to do this for you. You and Hisao deserve a child and I can help give you one. I can finally repay you both for all the love you've given me. Besides, the only unfair thing would be to deny a child such wonderful parents like you."
 
My hands begin to tremble.
 
[Letting My Heart Speak]
"Which is why what I have to say next is the hardest thing I've ever done."
My throat catches and I start to cry.
"After the baby is born...I'm going to be l-leaving Yamaku and m-moving out."
 
If my first statement shook them, this one destroys them. Lilly and Hisao take my hands in both of their own and cling to me desperately.
"No! Hanako!"
"Hanako, why?"
 
"I have to!" I shout, my throat burning, tears running down my cheeks. "I need to l-l-l-leave! I can't be around either of y-you anymore!"
 
I look up and my fingers are like steel traps around Lilly's hand. "L-L-Lilly, I'm so sorry! I screwed up b-bad and I did something I shouldn't have! I betrayed your t-t-trust and I'm sorry for everything!"
 
Hisao look at me with a torn expression in his eyes. "Hanako, you don't have to do this...."
 
I nod hard, shaking my hair loose and over my face, my bangs catching my tears, my whole body shaking uncontrollably, my lungs gasping for air. "Yes, I do! Lilly, it was my f-fault, not Hisao's! I've been so confused about how I feel! I'm so sorry! I k-k-k-kissed Hisao! I kissed him and I liked it and I wanted more and I'm s-sorry!!!"
I can barely breathe at this point and any more words I have left are lost in my uncontrollable sobs.
 
Lilly waits silently for a few moments, not letting my hand go, a steady pressure around my fingers. She sits up and leans across the table, her free hand following my arm and reaching up towards my face, holding my cheek in her soft fingers. "Hanako, I already know."
 
I look up at her and see her smiling at me. "Y-You do?"
 
Hisao squeezes my hand lovingly. "Hanako, when I left that night, I drove to Yamaku right away and picked Lilly up, just like you said to. I told her everything."
 
I'm so confused my words are louder and angrier than I mean for them too be. "But...neither of you s-said anything to me about it!"
 
Lilly smiles sadly, sitting back down and taking Hisao's other hand in her own. "You never gave us a chance. You avoided us for so long and then with the news...we really had no time to sit down and talk to you about this properly."
 
I shake my head. "But you two have been so distant! You haven't been talking, or holding hands! I haven't seen you kiss in days!"
 
The two of them look guilty, avoiding my eyes. "The truth is, Hanako," Hisao finally says, "we've been confused the last few weeks as well. The kiss...it was just a part of it all. Lilly's health, the baby, it's all been piling up for a while now. We appreciate what you're offering to us, we really do. Having a child is something we both wanted so much. But with what's been going on between me and Lilly, it just isn't the right time now. We've been...talking about stuff...about the two of us and where we're going. "
 
Oh, God, I don't want to hear this!
 
"Hanako," Lilly says softly, "our relationship has changed. There's something between Hisao and myself and we both can feel it. An empty space. The kiss was a sign. Something needs to change."
 
"No! No, no, no, no!!!"
 
I throw myself over the table at the two of them, clutching at them, refusing to let them go! Everything in my life depends on the two of them!
"You can't do this! You can't break up, please no! Not because of this! I can't live without you two and I don't want you to be apart! Please! I love you! I love you both so much! I need you!"
 
[Sarabande from BWV1010, Musicbox]
Lilly and Hisao hold me for a minute in shocked silence.
Then they both start crying and holding me tightly.
"Hanako! That's not what we're talking about at all!"
"Hanako, how could you think such a thing!"
 
Lilly is holding my face and she's kissing my tears away. "Never! Never ever, Hanako! Hisao and I would never leave you or each other!"
 
"Hanako," Hisao says, running his fingers through my hair, "Lilly and I aren't growing distant. We've grown...different. The empty space we talked about, it's not between the two of us. It's for you!"
 
I look up at him, clutching to his chest. "F-for me?"
 
Hisoa looks at Lilly helplessly. He stammers and she squeezes his shoulder for support.
"Hanako, we've known for a while how you feel about us. Hisao and I stopped being so intimate because...well, we thought it would be unfair for you to see the two of us like that."
 
Hisao kisses my forehead and he breathes in the scent of my hair. "Hanako, there hasn't been a time in our relationship that you haven't been a part of it. You've been with us since the very beginning! The truth is, Lilly and I can't imagine a life without you. We don't want a life without you!"
 
I remember the words Kenji and Akira told me.
They love you more than I can say.
 
What did they mean by that?
 
"We don't want you to be just a person in our life, Hanako," Lilly says, "We want you to be a part of this relationship. Hanako, we love you!"
 
The words have been said so many times, I started to forget how powerful they can be. When I hear them this time, the meaning is so different it leaves me confused and lightheaded.
"'You love me'? Wh-what do you mean?"
 
Hisao looks up at Lilly. He tries to say something, but his tongue catches in his throat and he holds me tighter than before.
 
"Hanako," Lilly says hesitantly, her blush rising, "we're saying that...well...I guess we're trying to...confess to you...."
 
I can't believe what I'm hearing. My heart is going a thousand miles a minute.
Hisao....
Lilly....
Love me?
 
"Y-you are?" I ask in a little whisper.
 
Hisao looks at Lilly and he smiles at me.
"Yes," they both say.
 
My throat catches and I feel a wracking sob rise up in my chest. I can't hold it back and I bury my face in Hisao's chest and I feel Lilly wrapping her arms around me.
The two most important people in my life say they love me!
I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say.
 
"I love you, too!" I shout and begin crying all over again.
 
We hold each other, no words or sound except our own sobs.
We hold each other for a very long time. Then Hisao lifts up my chin and he kisses me.
It's even better than the first time.
Lilly touches my face and she puts her lips on mine.
It's different, but I like it.
 
"Hanako," Lilly says quietly, "Hisao and I have talked about this for a while now. If it's all right with you, and you don't have to say 'yes'...well, we wouldn't mind if you...wanted to sometime join us upstairs...."
I look at Hisao and see the agreement in his eyes.
 
I sit there, held by the two most wonderful people in the world. The tears in my eyes transform from sadness to joy.
Their room doesn't seem so scary anymore.
 
I hold the people I love close to me, basking in their warmth.
I rest my head on Hisao's chest, my face burning red.
"O-okay...I think I'd like that...."

-END-

Oh wow thanks for sharing this on the forums, I was just reading your pastebins and some of the stories are familiar as I’ve read them, almost a decade ago. I assume this is sorta the start? I read the smut fic (scar tissue extra - first night) and that seems to be afterwards.

What’s the chronological order, if there are more stories in this universe? I assume there are side stories and one shots. I’m reading “the class of 2017” story currently.

Frankyo wrote: ↑Sat Jan 21, 2023 12:44 pm Oh wow thanks for sharing this on the forums, I was just reading your pastebins and some of the stories are familiar as I’ve read them, almost a decade ago. I assume this is sorta the start? I read the smut fic (scar tissue extra - first night) and that seems to be afterwards.

What’s the chronological order, if there are more stories in this universe? I assume there are side stories and one shots. I’m reading “the class of 2017” story currently.

There is a timeline, it's here on my Pastebin;



They weren't written in order so the quality of each is different and I just fit them together as they go along. Some of the stories, like one chapter of 'Class of 2017' has been blocked by Patebin but I cant figure out specifically what content they filtered it for. I'm posting them all here eventually and on a Fanfic . net page I'll make so people can read them all as intended.

The is indeed taking place before the smut, which is a direct sequel to Scar Tissue, which then leads to Class of 2017, but even Conflict and Clarity, stories taking place during and right after Lilly's route are included in this continuity.

Thank you for reading, I'll be posting more over the coming weeks.

Huh... it's been a while since I read your stories. There was a TVTropes reference to your writing that I saw years ago, so I read them on your pastebin. For what it's worth, HisaoxLillyxHanako is a trio that I can see turning from platonic to romantic as they got older and bit more mature/settled in life than they were in Yamaku.

Speaking of your Pastebin, it looks like you're posting one new chapter a year, on either Feb 7th or Feb 8th. Kinda curious if it's designed that way, or if IRL stuff has you too busy to write more frequently. Either way, nice to see that you're still active.

Kier-a wrote: ↑Thu Jan 26, 2023 4:27 am Huh... it's been a while since I read your stories. There was a TVTropes reference to your writing that I saw years ago, so I read them on your pastebin. For what it's worth, HisaoxLillyxHanako is a trio that I can see turning from platonic to romantic as they got older and bit more mature/settled in life than they were in Yamaku.

Speaking of your Pastebin, it looks like you're posting one new chapter a year, on either Feb 7th or Feb 8th. Kinda curious if it's designed that way, or if IRL stuff has you too busy to write more frequently. Either way, nice to see that you're still active.

In the last few years, he's been posting more sporadically but he generally finds the motivation around that time because it's Lilly's birthday. It seems he's missed this year but I sure hope he's alright.