Chapter 4 ~ Disapproval (Part 2)
My alarm clock blares. I hit the snooze button without a second thought. I literally do not have the energy to get up right now.
~~~~~
15 minutes later, it intrudes upon my rest once again. An uncoordinated flop of my arm later, it gives me another few minutes of glorious sleep.
~~~~~
A beam of light rests squarely on my eyes. I grimace, eyelids shut tightly, before slowly opening them and glancing at my clock.
9:15
Shit. My covers are thrown aside as I jump out of bed and throw on the closest clothes I can find. My socks end up mismatched, and my tie looks like it was tied by a fellow student with Tourette's, but I should be presentable. Without a second thought, I down my medications while I sling my backpack over my shoulder. Normally the act would put me in a bad mood, but right now I'm too busy stuffing homework into my backpack with one hand and trying to straighten out my uniform with the other. An hour and twenty minutes late to class already, I dart out the front doors of the dorms, moving just slow enough that my heart doesn't act up.
I stayed up with Nakata and Eiichi playing video games, drinking soda and eating snack food, until I took a look at the time and saw it was already past 3:00. I was having fun just hanging out, and I lost track of time. I didn't get to sleep until around 4:00, and I guess my body didn't agree with less than four hours of sleep.
I arrive in the middle of science lecture, and if last time my entrance was given a spotlight and a fanfare of trumpets, this time I have an announcer and confetti to go with it. Every pair of eyes in the classroom focuses on me as I step into the classroom, mildly out of breath from my light jog across the grounds.
Mutou pauses in the middle of his lecture and turns to face me. "Mr. Nakai."
I remain silent. I'm more than an hour and a half late, nothing I can say will help this situation.
"Please take your seat. Stay a moment after class, I would like to have a quick word."
I just know that the rest of the class is enjoying the drama. I guess I'm this morning's entertainment.
"Yes sir," I say. I feel like some formality may go a way to help my case, if only a little.
Shizune gives me a disappointed look as I sit down, after which she shakes her head and looks back to the teacher. I guess Mutou's not the only one I've let down.
~~~~~
Time flies when you're on the chopping block. Class lets out less than two hours after I arrive, though it feels like half that, and I remain seated as the rest of the class files out. A few students cast me uneasy glances of pity. Surprisingly, neither Misha nor Shizune say a word to me the whole class. I think back and find myself wishing I had figured out a better way to leave the Student Council. I hope I'm reading the situation wrong, but both members of the duo didn't so much as acknowledge my presence after Shizune expressed her disappointment.
Mutou courteously waits until everyone has left the room, seemingly checking e-mails and organizing his desk, until the door closes behind the last student and he addresses me. He grabs a chair and places it on the other side of his desk. "Please feel free to take a seat here." I stand from my desk and sit down across from my teacher.
He places his elbows on the desk and clasps his hands together, placing his chin on his hands, looking at me intently.
"How are you adjusting to life here at Yamaku, Mr. Nakai?"
I'm a little surprised by the question. I expected him to dive right into my tardiness, rather than question me about my integration with Yamaku life. Come to think of it, I'm not sure if I prefer the former or the latter.
"I'm... coming along. I don't know, I guess the atmosphere is so different from anything I'm used to."
"Of course. This school is certainly unique. Is there anything in particular you're having trouble with?"
There's that word again. One of many euphemisms used to make hide the purpose of this school. To the Yamaku faculty, it's "unique". It's "different". Try as they might, the true purpose of this school is too obvious for a mere change in vocabulary to obscure.
"Well sir, it's..." Screw it, there's no way to put this delicately. "It's the disabilities. I don't know how to react to them. I almost feel like I'm bringing more attention to it by ignoring them. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either I ignore them, even when they're so obvious that it's ridiculous they could be overlooked, or I awkwardly bring it up. Sometimes, I just don't know what to do."
Mutou looks thoughtful. "I think you would do well to remember your own reason that you're here." No, I don't think that would do me well. "Every student of Yamaku is in attendance for a reason, and I'm certain that they felt similar to how you do now when they first arrived."
"Honestly sir... I think that remembering why I'm here is exactly what I don't want."
A sad smile overcomes his face. Stop that, don't pity me. It's condescending. I can feel myself getting bitter.
"We do have people here you can talk to."
The statement gets to me much more than I thought it would. "I don't need a therapist," I say dryly. God dammit. Not only am I physically disabled, but now they think I need a shrink as well.
"Hisao," suppose we're on first name terms now, "I just want to make sure your transition to Yamaku is as smooth as possible. This is not a normal school, and you're transferring in a few weeks into the school year."
I love how every time he talks he manages to make things worse. I know this is not a normal school, and I hate it. I know I'm physically broken, and I hate it. Apparently, people think my mind is broken too, and I hate that even more. How much worse can this get?
"I understand you've been associating with some students from other classes, Mr. Matsuroko and Ms. Enomoto correct?"
Caught off guard by the sudden change in topic, it takes me a second to respond.
"Yeah, I ran into them a few days ago. They seemed nice."
"Perhaps, but I must caution you as to that particular groups reputation." It seems the teachers are more in tune with the student body than Misha thought. "Your student records from your old school show that you're bright young man, and I hope that you continue your academic excellence here. Being late to class twice in the first week, especially by more than an hour and a half today, isn't the best way to start out at a new school."
"I thought a teacher would be happy that a new student is branching out and making friends?"
Mutou leans back. "Don't get me wrong, I am. I'm glad that you're meeting new people, I just want to give a friendly reminder to find the right crowd. Adjusting to a new school is hard under the best of circumstances, and due to the nature of this academy, most students do not transfer here under the best of circumstances. It's impor-"
"Why do you keep bringing that up?"
"Bringing what up, Mr. N-"
"That this isn't a regular school. I know that, I don't see how it applies."
"If you know that, Mr. Nakai, then you must know that our job is to make sure our students get the best education possible while understanding their limits. We make accommodations to those that need it, and I am simply making sure your transfer here is as easy as possible."
"Do you know why I'm here, sir?"
Mutou pauses, unsure of what to say. He responds slowly, thinking each and every word through before he says it. "...Yes. In the interest of our students safety, teachers do know the basics of their student's conditions, what we can expect and any reasonable accommodations that can be made."
"Then you know I don't need any accommodations. I don't seize, I'm not at risk of fainting, I'm not constantly in pain or anything like that. You don't need to worry about me."
A small sigh escapes his lips. "Then think of this as just a teacher talking to a new student at any other High School. I know you're smart, Hisao. Your grades are excellent coming into Yamaku, and I hope that you surround yourself with people who prize academic excellence as much as you do."
"That was before. Maybe I want different things now sir."
Mutou says nothing, he just waits patiently, like he knows that I have more to say. Screw it. I throw my hands up indifferently.
"I just want to get back to the way things were, before all this... stuff, happened. I can't do that if I need a translator to understand my friends."
A look of sad understanding comes over Mutou's face. He succeeds only in irritating me further, my chest feels like a pit. He sighs. "Our student's right to privacy restricts what I can say here, but I am allowed to say this. Mr. Nakai, you will find out sooner or later that your new friends are not as normal as they seem."
I'm still tired from the night before, and I don't want to talk anymore. I can't believe I said what I have already. "Can I leave now sir?"
There's a short pause before Mutou nods. I guess he doesn't see any help in continuing this conversation further either.
"Yes, Mr. Nakai. I'll see you Monday."
"See you Monday sir," I say, standing and picking up my things.
~~~~~
I leave the classroom with my mind churning and in a daze, only half aware of my surroundings. The exhaustion from last night has caught up to me, and the mild annoyance from my conversation with Mutou is doing little to help. I feel trapped here, locked in a box with reminders of my condition on every wall and in every cellmate.
I know Mutou means well, he's only trying to help a new student integrate into a new environment, but everything he said was almost perfectly tailored to push on topics I'd rather not address or even acknowledge. My frustration builds, the mild annoyance I felt leaving the classroom isn't so mild anymore. How did I end up like this?
"DAMMIT!" I growl.
My hand balls itself into a fist and slams into the wall beside me. A dull thud echoes through the hallway, and Hanako jumps at my sudden aggression, sinking into her escorts shoulder. I didn't even notice her or her partner in front of me, and that turned out louder than I thought it would be...
Thankfully, the hallway is virtually empty, save only for the two people nearby. Hanako is still shrinking away, but the tall blonde haired foreigner next to her stands frozen, looking alert.
"Hello? Is everything okay?"
"It's fine," I say under my breath. I walk past them, embarrassed at my outburst, but I stop as my mind goes back to the first time I met Nakata. Didn't he say something about Hanako and her friend?
"Excuse me," I say turning, "you... wouldn't happen to be Lilly would you?"
"I am," she nods. "Lilly Satou. Have we met before?" She turns to me as well, but she says it looking at nothing in particular, a thousand-yard stare into the distance behind me. She must be blind, at least partially.
"No, I actually just transferred here a few days ago. I met someone in your class who mentioned your name, do you know Nakata Matsuroko by any chance?"
Lilly lets out a small giggle, "I think everyone in this school knows Mr. Matsuroko, he certainly has quite an... outgoing personality."
I chuckle in agreement. "I noticed. I'm Hisao Nakai, I'm in class with your friend. What's your name?" I say looking at Hanako. Of course I already know her name, but I don't want to come off as creepy. Besides, introductions work better this way.
She casts a worried glance to Lilly, but eventually looks back to me. "I... I'm H-Hanako." The hallway is silent, and I can still barely hear her.
"Nice to meet you," says Lilly. "Is there anything we can help you with?"
"Well, I was actually looking for the library a few days ago. Nakata and his friends talked me out of that pretty quickly, but that's how you came up. They said you were in the room next door, and you'd know where to find it."
"My my, you've come at a good time, we're going there right now actually. Care to join us?" she asks, waving ahead. Hanako looks hesitant, but Lilly doesn't seem to notice.
"That'd be great, thanks."
~~~~~
The library is unusually large for a school this size. Come to think of it, everything at this school is exceptionally lavish. The classroom building is admittedly rather normal, if well decorated, but the dorms are more spacious than usual and the facilities of Yamaku are very well equipped. While doing the student council's chores, I was surprised to see how well stocked the school is too. Even the more esoteric items they requested were to be found in one storage location or another. Add to that a pool, physical therapy equipment, a large gymnasium, this place must have some very wealthy benefactors.
Sunlight brightens the otherwise musty room, and Hanako quickly disappears amidst the rows of bookshelves. So much for getting to know my classmate.
"Is she always this shy?" I ask when Hanako disappears from sight and presumably from earshot.
Lilly puts on a face somewhere between being deep in thought and pouting. A thoughtful pout, if you will. "Unfortunately so. She keeps to herself, for better or for worse."
"I see..."
"Was there anything in particular you we're looking for? If you need help, you can ask the librarian Yuuko at the front desk."
"Right, thanks." Lilly sits at the front of the library and pulls out a book of her own while I go in search of something to read. I end up asking the librarian for a recommendation, who turns out to be the waitress from the cafe the student council and I visited a few days ago. I take the first book she offers, the cover featuring a small red man dancing on a blue background. I'm not really here for a book though. Honestly... I'd like to know more about Nakata, Saki, and why their group has such a reputation around campus. No better person to talk to than his classmate.
I approach the table where Lilly is seated. She isn't reading her book, and sits back relaxing instead. She turns her head towards me as I approach. "Mind if I join you here?"
"Of course not Hisao," she says with a smile.
"What are you reading?" I ask as I sit.
"Just a school textbook, I'm catching up on some reading for class. Did you find a book?"
"Yeah, Yuuko recommended me one."
A brief silence falls before Lilly speaks again. "So you said you were in Hanako's class correct?"
"Right, class 3-3, with Mutou."
Lilly giggles. "He's quite an eccentric one. He tends to grow on you though, I'm sure you'll come to like him in due time."
"So if you're in Nakata's class, that means you're in 3-2 right?"
"I am, as the class representative. It's taught by Mr. Miyagi, and it's specifically for blind and partially blind students."
I'm a little surprised, I didn't think Nakata's eyesight was that bad. I originally thought he was here due to his albinism. Maybe they're connected? Who knows, I'm certainly not an expert in these things.
I start reading, trying to think of how to bring up the topic of my new friends. As I do, I realize that this is the first time I've had a chance to settle down and breathe since I got here. Even my free time has kept me busy since my arrival. The first night I went out to karaoke, then I ran around with the student council for a few days, then I escaped and stayed up half the night with Nakata and Eiichi playing video games. The chance to unwind is welcome, and Lilly has a similarly welcoming and comforting aura to Saki, though Lilly's is laced with a sense of high class and formality, while Saki's is more carefree. Either way, it's helping my mood lighten a fair bit.
I put my book dawn, stretching backwards and enjoying the quiet surroundings. "Thanks for inviting me to come along. I've been so busy since I got here, I almost forgot what it was like to sit down with a good book."
"My pleasure. It's always nice to help someone settle in to a new environment."
I laugh at the irony. "I haven't been settling in so much as plopped right into the middle of things."
Lilly nods. "You definitely transferred in at a busy time. With the school festival tomorrow and a round of exams coming soon, it must be quite a shock."
"I didn't expect to contribute as much as I did for the festival, that's for sure. The Student Council jumped on the prospect of a new member pretty quickly."
Lilly frowns. "So you've met Shizune then. My cousin... lacks a sense of boundaries. Once she sets her mind to something, little will slow her down, even if it could benefit those around her."
That's right, I forgot they were cousins. It seems like they're not on the best of terms either. "I noticed. Shizune was hell-bent on getting me to join the council, and she doesn't like to take no for an answer. It's okay though, Nakata and his friends managed rescue me from their clutches."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah. They seem really cool, even though it sounds like they have a reputation around campus."
"Where did you hear that?" Lilly asks.
"Well... Shizune didn't seem to approve, she even called them 'delinquents', and Mutou actually kept me after class today. Said I need to 'find the right crowd.'" I chuckle, "makes me wonder what they did to deserve it."
She nods steadily, looking thoughtful. "No single event that I'm aware of... but they do have a habit of disappearing some days. Some of them aren't exactly at the top of their class either, and among the students here, they do have a reputation of being rather... tactless." Lilly closes her book and puts her elbows on the table. "Most of the student body doesn't have a problem with that, but some..." I notice her turn her head in the direction of the heart of the library, in the direction Hanako ran off too. "...are more sensitive."
"I can see that. Still though... I kinda like them."
Lilly smiles. "Don't let the opinions of others color your own. You should find the people you feel the most comfortable with, and their supposed delinquency is certainly overblown."
I'm glad she says that. I definitely wasn't going to avoid them just because Shizune and Mutou told me too, but it's still nice to hear someone else echo my own thoughts. Lilly seems much less biased than my other sources. Shizune's determined personality seems to make her butt heads with anyone who isn't just as determined as she is, making her a poor source of advice, but Lilly seems much more live-and-let-live. I'm glad I ran into these two, or Lilly, at least.
"Thanks. They invited me to join them to the festival tomorrow, I'm looking forward to that."
"I'm glad," says Lilly. "You should visit Nakata and me at our class's stand tomorrow, it's probably the best food you'll find at the festival," she says with a giggle.
I laugh. "I'll be sure to find my way over there." It sounds like Lilly isn't aware of Nakata's plans for tomorrow. If what he said yesterday is anything to go by, it doesn't sound like he intends to work a stall.
Silence falls again, and I return to my book.
~~~~~
Some time later, Yuuko walks over to our desk, Hanako in tow.
"Sorry, but I have to start closing up soon."
"My my, is it 1:00 already?" Lilly asks, turning her head in Yuuko's direction.
"Yes, sorry," she says timidly. Yuuko seems quite the nervous person.
"Does the library close early on weekends?" I ask.
"Yes," Yuuko replies. "Six-thirty on weekdays, and one o'clock on weekends."
"Well I wouldn't want to keep you," replies Lilly. "I'll go find Hanako and we can be on our way."
"I-I'm here... Lilly." I've noticed Lilly has rather exceptional hearing, but I guess Hanako is still quiet enough to slip under her radar.
"Ah, okay then. Thank you, Yuuko."
"Thanks for the recommendation," I say, waving my book towards the librarian.
"Of course!" she says, legitimately excited. Even though she's jumpy, she does really seem to enjoy her job.
We make small talk on the way back to the dorms, and I even manage to get Hanako to say a few words. She's only slightly more comfortable in the presence of Lilly though, so we didn't exactly have a heart to heart.
I bid goodbye at the split to the boys and girls dormitories.
"Thanks for showing me the library, good luck with the stand," I say.
"Nice meeting you Hisao, have fun tomorrow," she calls back.
"Nice meeting you too, bye!"
I turn around and head for my room. I'm still tired from last night, and I'm honestly pretty surprised I didn't fall asleep in the library. Time to get some rest, maybe read a little, and get ready for tomorrow. A school festival with good company sounds fun, and while I'm hesitant... I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to it.
Next Chapter ~ At Once Jaunty and Circumspect
. I'm gonna try to keep up and reply with comments, it's the least I can do to show my gratitude.
. Anyways, I'll edit that to Marksman Rifles, SWAT style.
