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This took a while to write and fix it up, with school and all.
Hopefully I fixed the problem of making Molly not sound too generic this time around, and give her a personality.
Feedback and criticism are welcome.
Thanks




Act 1, Scene 2: Innervison
Hisao meets a familiar face at the school’s garden.

The bell rings to end Saturday classes and students pack up their belongings. The school’s festival is tomorrow and students have to finish setting up and I linger in my seat for a while. Since I only transferred in during the week of the festival, I don’t know if I should help out or try to settle in at this school. Maybe I can try to study today, so I can catch up. But today looks far more interesting than to spend it cramped up in my room studying.

“Another day,” I whisper to myself.

Staring out of the window, I dig a piece of paper out of my pocket. It’s the diet plan Emi gave me today before classes started this morning. Unfortunately, I had another episode yesterday while running. I put my hand over my chest and think about how I could have ended up in back in the hospital, or even worse.

“What was I thinking, trying to keep up with a track runner?” I ask no one in particular.

Maybe looking after my health is best. My time is already short as it is, and I want to at least make it to graduation. Hopefully I can sneak in some ‘unhealthy’ food tomorrow to say goodbye to it before committing to this diet. Stuffing the paper back in my pocket, I pack my books and leave the empty classroom.

I walk out of the school’s main building and see students setting up for the festival tomorrow. Everyone at this school is working hard setting up, and I’m here feeling useless. I get sad when the thought crosses my mind. It looks like everyone knows how to deal with their disabilities, while I continue to be on the outside looking in. How long will it take me to be on the inside looking out?

After wandering with no direction around campus, I wind up at the school’s garden. The sight is truly remarkable. The light breeze makes the multiple colored roses dance to an inaudible tune, the trees surrounding them as if some ritual is performed. The cicadas join the trees in making the music a symphony that complements the scenery. I am awestruck by the performance. Then I notice I am not the only one seeing this dance. I spot Molly sitting near a tree by the pond and I slowly approach her.

“Hi Molly, what are you doing here?”

“…”

No reply. When I approach her, I notice that her eyes are closed, and she’s wearing a calm expression. She’s sitting with her legs cross and she looks as though she has a serene aura around her. Did she take a break from helping out and end up taking a nap instead by accident? Not wanting to bother her, I turn around and make my way to the boys’ dorm. As I do, a voice calls out to me from behind.

“Hello Hisao,” Molly replies in a relaxed tone.

“Sorry for interrupting you nap, I was about to leave,” I whisper, apologizing with a bow.

Stretching her arms over her head, she turns to face me. “I wasn’t sleeping, I was meditating.”

Cocking my head to one side, I ask, “Meditating? Is that the things monks do?”

“Yes, but a lot of people do it, not just monks,” she says as she leans back, using her hands as support, “It helps me clear my mind.”

“Does it really work?” I ask out of genuine curiosity,

“I think so.”

“Can I give it a try?”

“Of course! Take a seat,” she answers cheerfully, motioning me with her hand to take a seat next to her.

I walk back to Molly and take a seat next to her on the soft grass.

“The first thing you need to do is relax your body,” she instructs.

I try my best to relax my body. I feel my muscles begin to loosen up.

“Next, close your eyes and focus on your breathing,” she continues. “Make sure to inhale and exhale slowly.”

I close my eyes.

“Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.”

I follow her instructions, and take a deep breath and my lungs fill with air. Then, I slowly let the air leave my lungs and repeat the process.

“Keep focusing on your breathing and eventually you should be able to feel it,” she says concluding her instructions.

I continue to focus on my breathing and slowly feel my mind wonder off. But as soon as I think my mind is going blank, birds chirping in the distance distract me from focusing on breathing. On top of that, I hear students from a distance hammering stalls together and barking orders. The sounds are too distracting and I open my eyes shortly after.

“I can’t focus with all the sounds; they’re distracting me,” I complain.

“It’s difficult at first, but give it time, and the sounds will become white noise to help clear your mind. It just takes practice,” Molly says in a formal tone with her eyes closed.

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. You’re free to do anything you like,” Molly peacefully reassures me. “At least you gave it a shot.”

Molly’s tone sounds different than it was the last time we spoke. It’s a gentle and calm tone. It kind of reminds me of when I first encountered Lilly the other day. Is this caused by meditating?

“I think I’ll give it another shot.”

“Wonderful,” she replies, while still holding her meditated posture.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I slowly exhale and repeat the process. As soon as my mind begins to wander off, the sounds grow louder again. I can’t help myself from being distracted by the sounds, so I try my best to focus on one of them. I focus my attention on the cicadas. Eventually the cicadas’ cries silence and my mind begins to fill with thoughts.

“…hey Hisao, that was a good presentation...”

“…thanks! It was nothing…”

“…well you look really handsome in your suit…”

“…really Iwanako? Stop it; you’re making me blush…

“…can’t help it, if my boyfriend looks good in a suit…”

“…my chest feels weird…”

“…HISAO!!!...”

After a while, the sounds return and become too distracting for me. I take a look at my watch; an hour had passed. I turn to Molly, who is hugging her metal legs. She is staring blankly at the pond, as contemplating something.

“Whoa, that was interesting,” I comment.

“What do you think?” she asks, breaking her gaze to face me.

“I think I like it. It felt like I was in another world, where I was normal for a while,” I reply, regretting my choice of words at the end.

“That’s good.”

Molly sounds happy about my experience.

“You’re not offended?”

“Why should I be?” her voice rises in curiosity.

“It’s just; I’m just not used to being at a school where everyone is, well…unique.”

“I don’t see what there is to be sorry about. I accepted my new life when I lost my legs when I was a kid.” She looks down at her metallic legs. “I’m not sure about everyone else, but most of us here are used to our disability and accept it as part of our lives.”

“I don’t think I can accept being here. I like my old life; it wasn’t much but I was okay with it. Now knowing that life can be taken away from me in any second, I don’t see the point of trying anymore,” I begin to whine.

“Not everybody lives, but everybody dies. So, why not shoot for the sky?” shifting her eyes from her legs to the orange tinted sky above us. “Even if you fall out of the sky, at least you did something that most people don’t ever attempt. You’re given this life to try again, so why not make the most out of it?” she finishes as she stretches her arms over her head, before leaning back.

“…”

I’m speechless. Her words cut deep, like blades impaling me. It’s true, I wasn’t really doing much before my heart attack, just kind of did the average school life. But now that I’m thrown into a new world, I can’t curl up in a fetal position and wait for this to end. Life has me given a second chance to live and I should at least give it my all. I continue to stare at Molly, it seem like her words struck a chord with me.

“Thanks, I needed someone to talk to about being new at this school,” feeling a burden lift off my shoulders.

Molly turns her head to face me, “It’s nothing. I know what it’s like to be thrown into a new world. We moved to Japan when I lost my legs.”

“So where did you live before?”

“India,” replying with humble smile. However, Molly’s smile soon fades away when she looks at her prosthetics. “We moved here to get treatment when I lost my legs.”

“Do you ever think about going back?”

Molly closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, as if to think over my question. Her face shows reminiscence of nostalgia with a hint of sadness. She begins to play with her left braided hair, while her face changes to a worry look. After a while, she stops playing with her hair and opens her eyes, like she found the right answer.

“At times, but I don’t think...,” she begins before being cut off by someone yelling at our direction.

“Hey Molly! What are you doing here! It’s time to go!” a voice yells at a distance.

Molly lets out a sigh, dusting herself off as she gets up.

“Sorry Hisao, but I must take my leave now,” she says, giving me a small smile, as she walks towards the direction of the voice. “Catch you some other time, okay?”

I turn my attention to the owner of the voice and spot a slightly older person, possibly in their early 20’s. The man has blonde hair, with some spikes sticking out. He looks to be somewhat taller than me, and he’s wearing stoic expression. Who is this guy? And what is his connection to Molly?

I stared at the mismatched couple as they disappear around the corner of the main building. After some time, I get up and dust myself off. I take another look around the garden, which now static.

“It looks like I have to come by again to see another performance,” I yawn, before heading to my dorm.

~~~~~~~~~~

I open the door to my room and drop my bag next to my desk. Taking a seat in my chair, I stare at the arrangement of bottles on my desk; the drugs that I have to take to stay alive. I grab each bottle and swallow a dose of pills from each one, and continue until I’m done. It hasn’t been a week and I already loathe my daily ritual.

After staring at the bottles, I make my way to my bed and collapse face first into the stiff pillow. The scent of hospital grade detergent begins to intrude into my nostrils, so I turnover to stare at the ceiling. Shadows stretch across it with the setting sun. I try to make out any shapes that form, before becoming entranced by a particular silhouette.

I continue to stare at the orange ceiling, until it changes to a purple tint. The shadows soon take over the light, and soon the darkness swallows me. I slowly drift out of consciousness to meet a beautiful lady named Sleep. She is dressed exceptionally elegantly this time around. In her twilight colored dress, I find it’s hard to ignore her. But before I can embrace her with open arms, I think about what Molly said earlier.

“Not everybody lives, but everybody dies. So, why not shoot for the sky? Even if you fall out of the sky, at least you did something that most people don’t ever attempt. You’re given this life to live, so why not make the most out of it?”

I ponder on that thought for a good while before I join Sleep for our nightly dance.









Last Scene: Covalent Bonding
Next Scene: Strange Terrain

Wonderful! Keep writing, please.

First, praises. I like the characterization of 'sleep,' I think it was very creative and the way it was written was alluring and eye-capturing. The details you use to describe Molly were admirable. I especially liked "Her face shows reminiscence of nostalgia with a hint of sadness." I also think you capture Hisao's listless thoughts rather well... if not in practice, then in theory. You know his usual way of thinking.

If I had to say one thing, it's that you should be more flexible. You seem to be following the rules of dialogue and description, but following them doesn't translate into perfection. There's a personal touch that needs to be added or else it seems stagnant. Yes, there is source material to compare your writing to, and it's tempting to try and maintain the characterization as much as possible, but don't be afraid to add a little flavor. Give Hisao a very un-Hisao thought, make his words a little more sophisticated/simplistic than usual, create a situation in which we see an unexplored side... same goes for Molly, too. Put a little bit of yourself in your writing. I know this is a really early stage in the fanfic, so keep it in mind.

I look forward to reading more! Keep it up!

Hmm... I was expecting the lunch scene here.

Quite an unusual place for a time-skip... Did you post the wrong chapter or didn't anything interesting happen during lunch?

The chapter itself is good - certainly a novel way of portraying Molly.

bubeez wrote:Put a little bit of yourself in your writing.

I'm still trying to do that, since I never written a story before and the essays were the things I written the most. I'm slowly getting into finding a style that I like.

Mirage_GSM wrote: Did you post the wrong chapter or didn't anything interesting happen during lunch?

No and yes. I did wrote a lunch scene and another scene, where Hisao goes for a run with Emi and gets the diet plan and commits to follow it. I dropped the lunch scene because when I wrote it, it sounded generic and I had troubled on description at that time. The running scene was dropped because it was rather short and was kind of filler to me. With this scene though,this was written around the time I written the two dropped scenes, but this one had more going for it than those two. So I incorporating some of the ideas from the lunch scene like the garden location,Molly's reminisces of on why she moved, and made a passing mention to Hisao committing to run. I felt this flowed better than those two chapters I dropped.

Much better than your first chapter.

This relaxed meditating Molly is refreshingly new, a marked change from other Molly routes, (which helps me because I enjoy reading both). As for the dialogue its still a little clunky in places, but that’s okay, it’s something to work on.

The only thing I would say, and its minor, is that I hope we get more explanation as to why Molly moved to Japan, medical reasons alone don’t quite hold up. But don’t worry about explaining things right away, it took me 16 chapters.

Looking forward to more.

Gajzla wrote:Much better than your first chapter.

Thanks,I guess procrastination helped here, cause ideas popped in my head looking at this, especially on being more descriptive on certain parts.

Gajzla wrote:The only thing I would say, and its minor, is that I hope we get more explanation as to why Molly moved to Japan, medical reasons alone don’t quite hold up.

Molly's family were already going to move before her accident. Let's just say losing her legs, influenced why they moved to Japan.

Path wrote:

Gajzla wrote:The only thing I would say, and its minor, is that I hope we get more explanation as to why Molly moved to Japan, medical reasons alone don’t quite hold up.

Molly's family were already going to move before her accident. Let's just say losing her legs, influenced why they moved to Japan.

I think he meant an in-story explanation ^^°
If it doesn't coome up in the story it isn't relevant and you don't have to tell us.

Mirage_GSM wrote:

Path wrote:

Gajzla wrote:The only thing I would say, and its minor, is that I hope we get more explanation as to why Molly moved to Japan, medical reasons alone don’t quite hold up.

Molly's family were already going to move before her accident. Let's just say losing her legs, influenced why they moved to Japan.

I think he meant an in-story explanation ^^°
If it doesn't coome up in the story it isn't relevant and you don't have to tell us.

I know what he meant, just saying Molly losing her legs and moving to Japan to get treatment played a part of it. There's more to it than they were deciding to move anyway. It's going to be explain in the story in time.

Path wrote:It's going to be explain in the story in time.

Yay!

Liking the story so far, the scenes feel a bit short but that could well just be because I want to read more and the story progresses semi-quickly.

Excited for next time!

I'm liking to so far, the second chapter Is a huge Improvement (Not that the first chapter was bad at all)

I look forward to the next part!

This chapter is the longest I wrote so far, at about 4800 words.
There also might be more SPaG problems, as I didn't ask my usual people to proofread. Instead editing myself, so apologies in advance.
Feedback and criticism is always welcome.
Thanks.

Act 1, Scene 3: Strange Terrain
The school’s festival is here, and Hisao contemplates on how to spend it


“…can stay we like this for a little while longer?...”

“…sorry, but you know how this goes…”

“…i know…but I don’t want to go back. Not yet…”

“…don’t worry. You know where to find me…”

“…how will I know you will be here next time?...”

“…trust me. I’m not going anywhere…”


I wake up in a cold sweat. It was one of those dreams I’ve been getting lately. I don’t know if it’s a side effect from the medications, or my mind is trying to tell me something, or maybe it’s both. Whatever the case might be, I should probably tell the nurse about it when I have the chance.

Rubbing out the gift Sleep left me, I sit up on my bed and stretch before glancing at my clock. 12:06 it reads.

“Good thing that there’s no classes today,” thinking out loud. Outside, I hear voices of a large crowd. “Oh yeah, the school’s festival is today.”

I finish up swallowing the last dose of my pills and contemplate on whether I should stay in my room or go to the festival. “I do need to catch up on my studies, but it’ll be hard to focus with all the commotion going outside,” I say to myself. Just then, my stomach begins to growl, “I can at least try some of the food before studying. I hope it beats the food at the cafeteria.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The smell of the food is overbearing for me to comprehend. I should probably start off with some gyozas. I walk my way to the line to get some of that delicious pot sticker. When I get in line, I hear a familiar voice and I flinch at an instant.

“What the hell are doing?” Emi puffs up her cheeks in frustration.

“Aw shit,” I say under my breath, looks like I’ve been busted. “I was umm…getting some lunch to fuel my brain, so when I study.”

Emi frowns at my excuse, as if calling out my lie. “Then why are you line for this junk? You should be eating food that is good for your body, not this fried stuff. And besides, you’re supposed to be eating healthy, you’re on a diet, remember?” Emi reinforces her statement crossing her arms with a stern face.

Damn. I thought I’ll least able to sneak in one meal before going on this diet. My head hangs low. I look back at Emi guilty, “You’re right, I need to start looking out for my health as well.”

Emi breaks her tough act with her usual happy smile, “As you should be, I don’t want you dying on me like the other day.” Emi looks down for a second and I swear I hear her mumble “I messed up.” The twin tail girl looks up and a nervous giggle comes out her mouth. “I mean, glad I found you before you ate that greasy food. I was about to go meet Rin for lunch. Would you like to join us?”

“I would but I need to catch up with school work,” I begin before Emi starts to do her trademark puppy dog stare. “But I guess I can join you two for lunch,” as I change my answer to accept her offer, Emi smiles once again. How does she do that? I need to do a counterattack next time she does her innocent stare.

“Awesome! Let’s get Rin first!” Emi shouts as she grabs my hand and starts to drag me along.

~~~~~~~~~~

Before we make it to the boys’ dorm, I break away from Emi. “Let me catch my breath for a second.”

“We hardly walked for a few minutes,” she turns to me. “You’re out of shape, Hisao. And you wanted to get that fried whatever it was.” A smile approaches her face, “I can’t be the only one looking out for your health, but I’ll kick your ass if I catch you cheating on me.”

My face feels warm all of a sudden. What does she mean cheating on her? Are we dating now?

“On your diet, dummy!” she laughs at my fantasy. Emi winks at me, “You have to at least try to have a chance with me.”

“Can’t blame a guy,” laughing to hide my embarrassment.

We make our way towards the boys’ dorm and we spot Rin sitting on the right side of her mural. She looks tired, maybe she spent all day yesterday painting. It looks complete the last time I saw it, helping her mix paint for it. Rin spots us and she stands up from the wooden box. Her face tells that she is sore.

“You took forever,” Rin says.

“Sorry Rin!” Emi apologizes. “I ran into Hisao.”

Rin shift her eyes, as if she just saw me “Did she knock you down again?”

“How you know that?”

“Emi told me,” Rin smirks. I should have guessed that, considering they’re friends. “Are you buying me lunch for taking so long?”

“Why would I do that? I was kidnapped by her,” pointing at my small companion.

“Aren’t you a little too old to be kidnap? For Emi, it’s okay because she still looks like a kid.”

“Rin, stop it!” Emi shouts at Rin. “Don’t worry I’ll buy you lunch.”

Rin smiles “Good.”

“Come on, let’s go get lunch!” Emi blurts out.

Rin looks at her mural and back to Emi with a concern look. “But I’m supposed to stay here to show my mural.”

“You can at least leave for lunch,” Emi smiles at Rin, trying her best to convince her.

Rin stares blankly at Emi for a few moments, and shakes her head.

Emi grabs Rin’s sleeve and drags her, “Come on, let’s eat lunch by the track field.” She looks at me as to tell me “Let’s go.” I follow her lead.

~~~~~~~~~~

We make our way towards the track field and take a seat on the grass next to the bleachers. Emi hands Rin her food. I’ve seen Rin eat her food a couple of times before, but I’m still in awe by her dexterity of her feet. She makes it look like a walk in the park.

I dig into my plate after Rin catches me staring. For a healthy meal, it tastes really good. Well, any food tastes amazing after eating food from the cafeteria for a week. I swear that the food here is the only thing that has a disability. I finish my food and pat my stomach, “That was actually pretty delicious.”

Emi looks up and swallows her food. She smiles at me, “I told you so. You better get use to this because this is going to be what you’re going to eat from now on.”

“I can’t have a cheat day every now and then?”

“No way! I’m going to kick your ass if you do. Then make you run extra if I find out,’ the twintail cutie threatens with a serious look. It’s hard to take her seriously, knowing I’m being intimidated by a girl who I can see over.

“I like to see you try,” I tease.

“Is that a challenge? If it is, then you’re out of luck,” furrowing her brow as to take my word serious.

Before Emi and I can make the move, Rin drops her fork and stands up. We both stare at Rin by her sudden movements. She makes a worry face and stares intently towards Emi. “Emi I need your help with something.”

Confuse by Rin’s action, Emi stands up and walks towards the red headed girl. The two of them begin to whisper back and forth. Emi faces changes from a confuse one to more relax one. She turns to me. “Sorry Hisao, but it looks like we have to end our lunch. I have to help Rin with something.”

Rin starts talking before I could say anything. “Sorry Hisao but I just had my period. I need to go with Emi to help me change. I would have asked you to join, but since we are not at the level of friendship, I don’t think you could help me. Maybe if we were closer, I might ask you, but since Emi is here, I can trust her more because she has done this before.”

I stare at Rin at a loss of words. This is the first time I hear Rin speak clearly and direct. It’s weird that it has to be about that, but she was clear about it without a doubt. All I can do is nod my head.

“Well see you in the morning Hisao,” Emi says as she throws away her trash.

Rin stares at me with her dark green eyes, “I can’t say the same because I can’t predict the future, so I’ll say goodbye.”

“Bye,” is all I could muster up.

I see the two halves of a full body walk off to the girls’ dorm. Standing up to dust myself off, I begin to my way back to my room to study.

~~~~~~~~~~

As I make my way back to the boys’ dorm, I spot Molly standing in line with a group of classmates. She spots me and waves me down.

“Hisao! Over here!” she shouts but it’s barely audible through the crowd’s chatter.

As I get closer, I see two fellow classmates. One is a guy who wears a weird hat that sits next to Shizune. He looks bored or annoyed when I approach them. Another is a girl with long light brown hair that sits next to the girl missing her left hand. I hate to describe classmates like that, but I haven’t had the time to talk to any other classmates besides a few. The last girl, I have not seen before. She is in a wheelchair and has shoulder length teal hair.

“How are you enjoying the festival?” Molly asks in her calm tone.

“It’s alright. I had some lunch with Emi and Rin before Rin had a problem. I thought I’ll head back to my room to study.”

“You want to join us for a bit? We were about to buy some snacks before playing some games,” she invites.

“I don’t know. I really need to catch up on my homework.”

“Alright, good luck then. See you in class tomorrow.”

“Bye Molly,” I say as I continue my way to the boys’ dorm. As I do, I stop in my tracks and think to myself. Why should I study? There’s a festival today, and I want to stay in my room. The hell is wrong with me? I can at least enjoy today and make some friends. I can at least do that. With my mind made up, I walk back to join Molly and her group of friends.

“I think I can enjoy the festival a little bit longer,” I say when I approach Molly.

“Great! You remember our classmates right?”

“I do but I don’t think I remember their names,” giving a nervous laugh.

“That’s because you haven’t ask us our names,” the boy in the hat exclaims.

I rub the back of my head in embarrassment. I haven’t made much of an effort to know the names of my classmates.

“Anyways, I’m Takashi Maeda.” He says in an annoyed tone.

“And I’m Ikuno Komaki,” the brown hair girl joins in while she removes her headphones.

“I’m Hisao Nakai.”

“We know who you are, new guy,” Takashi says sarcastically.

“Oh, so you’re the new guy,” the wheelchair girl finally speaks up. “How does it feel to be out of Kansas, Dorothy?

“Dorothy?” I question cocking my head to the side in confusion. Did she not hear my name?

“Yeah, Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. It’s a movie classic,” wheelchair girl begins to explain, but it goes over my head. “Anyway, I’m Asuka Kasugano.”

“Ehh, nice to meet you too, Kasugano.”

“So what brought you here?” Asuka asks.

I furrow my brow, “Pardon?”

“What’s your disability is what she is getting at,” Ikuno clarifies, as she turns back to face the line.

I hesitate for a second on whether if I should answer or not. I only told Rin about my arrhythmia and no one else since. I should at least be more open about. I take in a deep breath, “I have arrhythmia. It means I have an irregular heartbeat.”

“Messed up heart? Well I guess I should call you Tin Man,” Asuka giggles.

“Well that’s a shame,” Molly replies. “It’s good that they found out sooner than later,” trying her best to cheer me up.

“I’m a paraplegic, so I’m stuck in this mean machine,” Asuka happily says, while rolling back in forth in her wheelchair.

Takashi shakes in head in disbelief, “We can all see that, you idiot.”

“Shut up, you asshole!” Asuka screams while punching Takashi in the leg.

Molly lets out a soft chuckle and looks at me, as to say that this happens a lot. She stops laughing and looks at Asuka. “Asuka, you don’t have to get so violent with Takashi.”

Asuka pouts as she turns head away from us. “He started it, tell that ass to apologize to me,” whining to Molly.

“I told you many times, it doesn’t matter who started it, you have to be the bigger person.”

She looks down and rolls back in forth in her wheelchair before looking at Takashi, who looks like he wants to leave the line. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs.

“Yea, whatever.”

Molly stares at Takashi with a disapproving look, “Why do you have to act like this?”

Ikuno turns back to us and grabs our attention. “Hey, we’re up next.”

“About time,” Takashi sighs.

“What can I get for you today?” the student running the cashier asks.

“Molls, can you buy me something please.”

Molly turns to face Asuka and rubs her hair, “Sure, what do you want?”

“Thanks Molls, you’re the best!”

We all take turns buying snacks, besides Asuka, who Molly buys her a small bag of cookies. I buy myself popcorn. Sorry Emi, but this counts as a healthy snack. Well it does come from corn and corn is a vegetable. I continue to lie to myself that I’m following Emi’s orders. She won’t know about this anyway, plus I already ate a healthy lunch, so I deserve this.

After everyone buys snacks, we make our way to the game stands and stop at a fishing game. The point of the game is you are given a little fishing rod and you have one chance to catch a fish, but in this case they’re ducks. The ducks have a color on the bottom of them, that coordinate to which prize you’ve won. Most of the ducks have nothing on them, so this game is based on skill and luck. We almost pass the booth until Asuka spots one of the prizes to be a purple stuffed cat.

“Can we play this game? I really want that purple cat. It’s cute!~” Asuka shouts in joy.

“These games are rigged, plus the cat looks like it was bought from a second-hand store,” Takashi teases Asuka.

Asuka turns to Takashi shouting, “Shut up! You’re just saying that because you want it for yourself!”

“Yes, I want this cat for myself. It will look nice next to my stuffed rabbit.”

“I knew it!”

“The cat is pretty cute,” Ikuno chimes in with a small smile.

“I guess we can play this game to start off,” Molly suggests.

“No thanks, but I rather save my money. I think I’m going to hang out with some of the members of the art club,” Takashi says, as he walks away. “Catch you in class tomorrow, Molly. Bye Ikuno. See you New Guy.”

I let out a sigh, “Its Hisao.”

“Well whatever. Bye everyone.” Takashi waves as he leaves.

“Bye Takashi,” Ikuno whispers, hiding her mouth with her hands. She regains her composure, “So shall we play?”

“Come and let’s win that stuffed cat for me!” Asuka shouts.

Molly smiles at Asuka “I’ll try my best.”

“I guess I can give it a shot,” Ikuno joins. “I think it’ll be fun if we all play.”

“Are you going to play too, Dorothy?”

“My name is Hisao. Is it hard to remember?” I whine.

Molly puts her hand on my shoulder, “Don’t worry about it. Friends joke around all time. Didn’t you do the same at your old school?”

It’s been so long since I saw my friends from my old school. I spent four months in the hospital. My friends stopped visiting me after the first week and the mood was different when they visited. They were always quiet and didn’t know what to say most of the time. I tried my best to not look sad, but I guess I wasn’t very good at it. The only person that visited me regularly was Iwanako, but she stopped visiting too. I have a new chance to make friends.

I look at Molly and smile at her. Then I turn to Asuka, gawking at the cat. “What the hell, you can count me in.”

“Aweome!” Asuka exclaims.

We all go to the booth, pay for our plastic fishing rod and position ourselves around the small makeshift pond. The ducks swim around the pond in a clockwise fashion, so it’ll be hard to pick out which one has which color for the prize. Not only that, we are given one chance to fish out the duck. Meaning, even if one of got the right duck, fishing it will also require skills.

We decided we will go at once as to increase our odds in winning the prize. We all look at each other and nod our heads in confidence. “In 3, 2, 1, Fish!” Asuka shouts.

We lower our small fishing rods into the pond and try to fish out a duck. Molly gets the first bite and tries to fish out the duck, but the duck falls off the rod and splashes back into the pond.

“Looks like I lost. Well maybe next time,” she smiles to Asuka.

Ikuno struggles in hooking a duck, but she manages to catch one. “I got one,” she casually says. She flips the duck over to reveal the color. “I got the color blue. I wonder what prize I got.”

“That would be the small prize, miss,” the vendor answers. He pulls out a paper fan and hands it to Ikuno. “Better luck next time.”

“Oh, well, at least this will come in handy,” Ikuno cheers herself up.

Asuka is next to get a bite and she eagerly pulls her fishing rod. The force in which she pulls causes the duck to fly off her fishing rod and lands on the floor.

“Sorry, but I have to disqualify you miss,” the vendor breaks the bad news.

“No Fair! Get better equipment next time, old man!” shouts Asuka in a fit of rage.

“Old? I’m barely in my mid-30s,” he refutes.

“Whatever grandpa.”

The three girls crowd around me and I feel pressure being put on me out of nowhere. They are all relying on me to win the prize. Shit. I don’t know if I can do this now.

“Take it easy when you reel in the duck,” Ikuno advises.

“It’s alright if you don’t win, as long as you had fun,” Molly assures me.

I look towards Asuka, who puts her hands together and pleads “Help me, Dorothy, you’re my only hope. I really want that stuffed cat.”

I look at the duck I want to fish out. I carefully try to hook my reel on it. The girls slowly lean forward, anticipating for the moment of truth. It hooks on to my reel, and now I have to pull it out of the water to claim victory. Asuka cheers as I manage to successfully claim the duck. I grab the duck and turn it over to see what color I got; green.

I turn to the vendor to ask, “What does the green color mean?”

“That’s the first time I’ve seen someone got that color today,” the vendor says. “But it’s the medium-sized prize. Good catch kid,” he says as he throws me a small dog plushy

I catch the gray plushy and stare at it. It’s small dog with jiggly eyes, and it has a dumb expression on its face. I walk towards the group of girls, who are happy to see that I won a prize. Asuka is frustrated a bit, maybe because no one won the stuffed cat. Ikuno looks indifferent but she claps her hands to cheer. Molly is the only who looks happy that I won the dog.

“Congratulations, Hisao,” cheers Molly.

“Good job. It looks rather cute, even with its rather humorous expression,” Ikuno laughs at the dog.

“At least someone won a good prize. Good work,” Asuka adds, she sounds rather annoyed about losing.

“Well it’s not a cat, but I hope you like dogs, Asuka.”

“Sorry but dogs are disgusting. You can keep it. You can name it Toto,” Asuka jokes.

“Ikuno, you want it?” turning towards her.

“No, I’m not really into stuffed animals. Thanks for offering though.”

Looks like I only have one person left to ask now. “Molly, you want this?”

“I would like to, but it wouldn’t feel right for me to accept this gift without giving you a gift in return,” Molly peacefully denies my offering.

“It’s okay. You helped me out a lot yesterday. If anything you can always return the favor another time.”

She stares at me for a few seconds without saying a word. I’m not sure what is going through her head, but eventually she takes the gray dog. “I’ll have to make sure what I give you is something nice,” she smiles, her cheeks turning a slight red.

~~~~~~~~~~

We continue to walk around the game stalls and play some more games. We don’t have much luck on winning but we do manage to win some small prizes, mostly candy. The sun begins to set as we begin to make our way to buy something to drink, when Ikuno’s watch alarm goes off.

“Sorry, but I have to go take my insulin shot now. I’ll see you tomorrow in class Molly. Hisao, it was nice meeting. You are a nice person to hang out with,” she adds the last part with a small bow.

“Can I give you your shot, Iku?” Asuka asks with a bow.

“As long as you’re gentle this time around,”

“I’m sorry, it’s just that it was my first time and I was a little nervous.”

“Well take it easy this time around, please.”

“Don’t worry.”

“Bye Molls. See you around Dorothy, I mean Hisao. You’re not that bad of a person.”

Molly and I wave goodbye to the pair as Asuka begins to talk rapidly to Ikuno, who wears a slightly embarrass expression. I wonder what she is talking about so excitedly.

We walk around the stalls to find something to drink. Unfortunately, the stalls are closing and people are beginning to head towards the track field. I wonder why they are heading there. Is there some sort of performance being held?

I turn to Molly, who looks at peace. She looks to have the same peaceful expression when I saw her at the garden yesterday. I feel bad to interrupt her little bliss, but I hope she doesn’t mind. “Why are people heading to the track field?” I break the silence with a question.

Molly snaps out of her little day dream and focuses her attention to me. “They are going there to see the fireworks. Last year, the school couldn’t afford them, but this year, I guess they had the budget for them,” she answers in her calm tone of hers.

“Wow, a lot of people are sure excited for them,” I comment while the crowd starts to move in a herd like fashion. “Do you want to watch the fireworks?”

“I would love to. Let’s go watch them at the garden. We will get a better view of them than the track field,” Molly insists.

“Sure, sounds good to me. But can we get something to drink along the way? I’m pretty thirsty.”

She nods her head in agreement, and we make our way to the garden. We stop by the vending machine by the main building and I buy two orange sodas. I hand one to Molly and she thanks me with a smile. We continue to make our way to the garden in silence, until Molly finally speaks.

“So did you enjoy the festival?”

“I really did, I’m really glad that I ran into you when I did,” I thank her.

“Why’s that?

“I probably would have been bored in my room, or even worse, spent it on the rooftop with my neighbor. I think he’s a little on the crazy side. He’s talks about how this school is run by feminists.”

“Oh, he sounds like a real fun person to be around with,” she jokes with a small laugh.

“Yeah, he said something about having a picnic on the rooftop. I think it’s a little strange for two guys to have a picnic on the roof alone.”

“The roof is pretty scary. I heard that the fences are loose and someone can fall off if they are not careful.”

We make our way to the garden. The once awe taking sight is now covered in darkness, except the glow reflecting from the moon. It almost has an enchanted and almost unworldly presence to it. It feels like we are intruding a forbidden land, but we continue to walk towards the pond. The pond reflection of the starry night serves to be a mirror to another world on the ground.

I continue to stare of the watery reflection before seeing a red explosion appear in the water. Focusing my gaze upwards, I see more spark trails shoot up into the sky, disappearing briefly before transforming into different colored explosions. They are truly remarkable, as they look like giant fiery snowflakes. Each firework looks different than the next. I turn to Molly, who is taken away by the fireworks. She holds the small stuffed dog close to her, like a little child holding onto their favorite stuffed animal. Molly dark-colored eyes reflect each firework and I am truly lost in her eyes as they serve as my new mirror to see the display.

As quickly as the fireworks appeared, they vanish, leaving a trail of smoke in the dark sky. Molly turns to face me and notice me staring at her. She smiles and laughs a little, “Did you enjoy the fireworks?”

I fidget in my spot and let out a nervous laugh, “I really did. I enjoyed spending today with you…I mean with everyone,” I save myself but the heat in my cheeks tell me another story. “I like your friends. They’re nice.”

Molly grins and fixes her hair, “They like you too, especially Asuka. Ikuno thinks you are nice. She doesn’t express it, but she had a good time, even when Takashi left. She usually puts her headphones on and ignores us,” Molly explains.

“And Takashi? He kept calling me new guy,” I mention while balling my fist. Him calling me new guy got to me. I felt insulted.

Molly looks down, “Well Takashi thinks you’re okay. He’s has a hard time meeting new people. Give him some time and I’m sure he’ll be friendly to you in no time,” she smiles to encourage me. Her smile soon fades as quickly as it appeared. “Do you have the time?”

I look at my watch, “20:04. Why? You got to return to your dorm for something?”

Molly begins to stroke her left braid with her free hand, “No, I have to meet my brother. He said he’ll come by at 20:00. I don’t want to make him wait for too long.”

“Oh, I bet he’ll understand why you might be a few minutes late. You said the school festival didn’t have fireworks last year. Maybe he got distracted watching them like everyone else,” I try my best to cheer Molly up.

My attempt seems to be in vain because Molly hangs her head down and slowly begins to walk away. She picks up her head and sighs, “I hope so, he’s been having it rough lately and I don’t want to add to the problems.”

“Oh Molly,” I call out her. “Is it okay if I join in meditating again some time? I really enjoyed it yesterday and thought it’ll be fun to try it again.”

Molly turns back to me and I see a smile stretch across her face. She nods her head, “Sure any time. It’s nice to have a person join. I’ll let you know next time,” she says as she slowly fades away into the darkness.









Last Scene: Innervision
Next Scene: Daily Routine

Nice chapter, couple of corrections though:

It should be "Kidnapped" not "Kidnap"

Rin doesn't really seem like Rin, it's hard to imagine her getting angry over Emi taking long, even if she remembered. Emi is pretty spot on though.

The period line. Seems a bit forced in there for my tastes. When Hisao was adamant to help in the VN it makes sense that she'd tell him.

"Those games are rigged" not "those games are rig"

“Sorry, but I have to go take my insulin shot now..." I thought those things were portable?

"...I enjoyed spending today with you…I mean with everyone,” Foot in mouth. I like it, makes this Hisao more believable.


I feel bad ripping into somebodies work like this, but overall I still enjoyed it a lot. I'm liking Molly a lot thus far, I haven't read many other fics that have characters matching her personality, so it's refreshing. Keep writing, and I'll keep enjoying!

Nice work, Path! Apart from the obvious SPaG errors you can go back and fix, nothing really struck me as off with the characters. Is Asuka an OC or has she been in another fic?

swampie2 wrote: Rin doesn't really seem like Rin, it's hard to imagine her getting angry over Emi taking long, even if she remembered.

I don't know how you got Rin being angry at Emi for taking long. I didn't imply it, but it seems like it, it wasn't intended.

swampie2 wrote:I feel bad ripping into somebodies work like this,

I don't mind, it helps me a lot

swampie2 wrote:“Sorry, but I have to go take my insulin shot now..." I thought those things were portable?

True, but it's moves the plot to get Hisao and Molly alone.

swampie2 wrote: I'm liking Molly a lot thus far, I haven't read many other fics that have characters matching her personality, so it's refreshing. Keep writing, and I'll keep enjoying!

Thanks

Sharp-O wrote:Nice work, Path! Apart from the obvious SPaG errors you can go back and fix, nothing really struck me as off with the characters. Is Asuka an OC or has she been in another fic?

Thanks Asuka is an OC I made for this route.