Oddball wrote: ↑Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:01 pmThis last update in this topic was July so I'm taking over now. Consider this a mutiny.
Consider my timbers shivered.
Mirage_GSM wrote: ↑Mon Jan 15, 2018 11:53 amOh and it seems Aura did kill off Niji somewhere in the meantime :-)
He may be dead, but somewhere, to the disdain of many, the Nijiposting lives on...
Oddball wrote: ↑Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:01 pmSome Lilly Scene by Lulz a very VERY early story back from the days when there wasn't so much "fanfic" as there was "story pitches."
It's been almost a
decade since this was posted... which is striking to me because I'm not much more than two decades old myself. It's strange to think that this is all so old - my time on the internet has been characterized by near-constant change, so to see this project (and many others) stretch back so far is strange. "Everything stays, but it still changes."
First thing that struck me about the story was the honorifics. They never made much of an appearance in the final game (which I think was the correct decision given that English has no analogue, and therefore translation should technically remove or significantly alter them, but I don't feel strongly enough to argue about it), but moreover, the one chosen for Hisao felt kind of weird. Lilly's final route had this little power dynamic where Hisao struggles with her being more proper and refined, which makes him worry that he's not living up to the standard she's setting. There are times where their dynamic is more mentor/student (or even mother/child) than peer-to-peer. Including honorifics sort of dampens that impact - you always know where you stand relative to someone else - but also sort of enhances it, making the power play tangible rather than implicit.
Regarding PE: on one hand, it doesn't make sense to have Hisao change and sit around the whole time doing nothing, so I think not including it as a plot point (on the assumption that he's excused and has a study hall) is the correct choice (though I can't remember what, if anything, was explicitly stated about it in the final game). On the other hand, I remember PE in high school, where everyone changed and did nothing for 40 minutes, then changed back and went about their day. Obviously my school was very different, but there is a precedent for 'if you can't join in, you can just do nothing'. It does allow for the scene to happen, but probably would've been less exciting in the other girls' routes.
Kenji's role in all of this felt fluid, but obviously doesn't fit with his characterization in the final game. I think, were this to be 'modernized', I'd keep that line, but make it come from someone else, though I'm not sure whom.
Mirage_GSM wrote: ↑Mon Jan 15, 2018 11:53 amHisao is apparently versed enough in the topic to fill a lengthy conversation yet does not know more than one piece of one of the most famous composers.
All in all, to me it felt as if the author just wanted to talk about his own hobby and used Hisao as a prop to do that.
To be fair, I'm not that big into classical, but based on the few pieces I know by ear, I can hold a decent conversation. I can comment on what a piece sounds like, whether it fits my preferences, how it compares to songs I know, etc; it won't be very insightful, but it doesn't have to be - it's just small talk, which is what this entire scene is about.
Hard to give an overall opinion on this piece, because the characterizations are different from, yet similar to, the ones we know ("What a scary woman."). Personally, I tend to find standalone slice-of-life stuff a bit boring, so this doesn't make my personal favorites list, but I can recognize that it's well-written and probably contributes to the overall story - even though that story is one I've never really read.