WARNING: This chapter contains "adult" material. Unfortunately, said material isn't something that I felt I could easily separate from the story proper, so I have left the chapter intact. I apologize in advance if this causes any problems for anyone.
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"Well, right now, I guess I just hope that you still consider me your friend."
Hanako doesn't say anything right away, and I start to get a little nervous because I really want her to say yes. "Th-thank you," she finally says, so quiet I can hardly hear her. "I...yes, I do."
I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding and smile. Now that I've got my answer, I don't have anything holding me back from anything today. "Glad to hear it! So...we'll talk again soon, okay?" Even though I've got my walking legs on, I can't help but take off at full speed, leaving her with a quick "Later, Hanako!" as I head back to see Hisao again.
Once I'm inside the boys' dorm, I immediately slow down to a fast walk. I'm starting to get used to doing it, so I barely even have to think about it anymore. Right now, it's even more crucial, because if I went rushing in and pounced on Hisao – much as I'd love to do that right now – that could spell disaster.
Then again, he's probably expecting it, and if I make sure not to hit him in the wrong spot, then...
No, no, no, think, Ibarazaki! Maybe someday, but not today!
I stop when I get to the first floor, realizing that I need some kind of plan or something. I've gotten used to living in the moment, especially when it comes to stuff like this, but this is different. I've got to make sure Hisao makes it through today in one piece.
Responsibility, huh? I just hope I'm ready for this, too.
Okay, so once I see Hisao, the first thing I need to do is make sure he's not already exhausted. We did a lot of walking today on top of the usual morning run, so he might need more rest before exerting himself. I can figure that much out while we're hanging the poster, then take it from there.
I'm more worried about what comes after that. Nurse told me I had to take the lead, and even though it's not like I haven't done that before, Hisao really isn't anything like Hajime. I don't
think he's the type that'll insist on being in charge, but who knows?
His last partner was Lilly, after all, and she's a tough one to read. She gives off that whole traditional vibe, but from what Hisao's told me she may not have been all that traditional in the sex department.
Guess I'd better be ready for anything on that front, then.
That idea sets my hormones off and running, so I'm grinning like crazy as I walk out onto the first floor. There's a couple of second-years in the common room watching TV, but they don't even notice me walking behind them. It's actually a little nostalgic for me; Haji lived on the third floor of this wing, and none of the other guys paid attention to me then, either. I was a little offended the first couple of times, but then I just didn't care. I avoided Setou then, too, but at least it's easy to avoid being seen by him – and even easier now that he's not here. A few steps later, I'm in front of Hisao's door. As I check my bag one last time to make sure I didn't forget anything, something Hanako said pops into my mind.
"He said that you helped him feel alive again."
Don't worry, Hanako. I definitely won't let him die on me.
I finally knock on the door, and Hisao opens it so quickly that he must have been listening for me. Not that I can blame him – it's all I can do to keep myself from jumping him the moment I see him, right? "Hey, Hisao! You ready to do this?" I say, and then immediately have to stifle a laugh. Hisao takes a step backward as well, his face red. "Sorry, sorry," I say with a grin. "Not
all the suggestive things I say are meant to be, you know."
Hisao closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, then chuckles a little. "Yeah, but right now I'm a little more...um...
suggestible." I laugh, too, as he opens the door the rest of the way. "Come on in."
Accepting that invitation, I notice how much cleaner the room looks than it was the other day. It makes me wonder if he had some nervous energy because he had to wait for me to come back. A part of me feels guilty for stopping to talk to Hanako, but only
kind of. I think waiting might've been even
more awkward, and finding out she's not mad at me over Hisao was a relief. Of course, if she had been, I'd be a lot more nervous right now – not to the point of not coming or anything, but definitely more. Seeing the poster sitting on his desk, I reach into the bag I'm carrying and pull out a small package. "I brought some more of those squares so that we can...heh...mount the poster." I wink at him and add, "
That one was intentional."
"I figured that one out myself, thanks," Hisao says with a laugh, and I can hear the tension breaking just a little bit. I put the package down on Hisao's desk as he comments, "So, you're saying things are about to get sticky?"
"Probably," I reply, still grinning, and Hisao rolls his eyes. He might be getting a little bit harder to embarrass lately, but this kind of teasing might even be more fun. I still intend to try my hardest to make him blush later, but for now I'll proceed with caution.
"Okay, then, do we want to do this the same way as last time? I'll attach the things, then you stand on my desk to put it up on the wall?"
"Sounds good! I'll try my best not to get distracted this time."
"Do you need me to stand outside, then?" Hisao says, looking all innocent, and I swear he's just asking for the punch I give him in reply. "Hey!" he says in mock anger, his eyes shining, and now the tension is
totally gone.
He does have a point, though – if there's anything that's going to distract me, it's him. Just watching him as he peels the sticky squares off the backing is sending my temperature upwards, so I need to distract myself from the distraction. I try to get my latch my brain onto something, but all I've got is my conversation with Hanako. I look over at the window...
"Hanako, believe me, if it was a competition, you would have beat me in a landslide."
Not just her. Lilly, too.
It's true. Hisao could have had the most beautiful girl at Yamaku back, or the most intriguing one who's wanted him since he got here, and yet still wound up wanting to be with
me. I can't keep this damn grin off my face just thinking about that. I'm not going to think something like "Do I really deserve this happiness?" or whatever. I mean, this isn't a romance novel or one of those TV dramas that Mom watches, even if it kind of feels like it could be sometimes. The fact is, I'm special to him, maybe even as much as he is to me right now, and now that I know how good that feels there's no way I'm ever giving that up.
I may have told Hanako that it wasn't a competition, but that was only partly true. I wasn't really competing against Hanako, or against Lilly. What I was competing against, was myself – really, against how I thought things were supposed to be. I used to think that the best way to live in the moment was to do it alone. Now, I know there's a better way.
Now that I've found Hisao, I need to make sure there are as many more moments to live in as I can.
"Hey, Emi, I've got the poster ready!"
Those thoughts are still lingering in my head when I look back at Hisao. This is the moment I need to live in now. "Okay, then let's get this thing done!" I clamber up onto Hisao's desk and hold out my left hand for the poster. I can already feel the adrenaline starting to work, wanting to finish this quickly, but I know I can't rush anything. It's like I'm fighting myself, stretching the limits of the patience I've been trying to practice.
And it's only going to get harder...
Shaking ever so slightly, I stand up, facing the wall. Carefully, I position the poster, making sure it's straight and that there aren't any bubbles under it. All the while, I can feel Hisao's eyes on me, and it's hard to keep from glancing over my shoulder at him. Thankfully, I keep my balance the whole time, and when I'm done my mischievous side takes over. "Hey, Hisao, think you can help me down?" I say, not letting him see the grin on my face.
"Sure," he says, extending a hand. I take it, and after stepping down to the floor I do one of those fake stumbles like I see in the movies and lean into Hisao.
"Oh! I guess I lost my balance after all. Good thing you were there to catch me!"
For
just a second, his face goes blank, but then he quickly gets into the spirit of things. "Hmmm...sounds serious. Perhaps you'd better lie down."
"Yeah, you're probably right. Oh! There seems to be a convenient bed nearby! Perhaps we should put it to good use?"
I can't keep a straight face any longer, and as soon as I break out laughing Hisao soon follows. "Um...heh...I think we probably should..."
Before he goes any further than that, I get slightly more serious. A part of me hates the fact that I can't be spontaneous, even if it's only for today, but it's worth it for the next time, and all the times after that. Looking him straight in the eye, I ask, "Are you sure you're ready to do this, Hisao?"
Hisao grins a stupid grin at me. "Isn't that supposed to be my line?"
"Yeah, probably," I say with a wink, "but just think of today as another one of those Opposite Days." Hisao laughs, and it's only a little nervous. "Besides, the nurse told me that I should be taking the lead the first time."
Ahhh, I got him to blush! The world is a brighter place! Rainbows for everyone!
With a happy sigh, I continue, "He also said we should try and take things slowly, just to be safe. I know that sounds kinda weird...but you know I've been working on being patient, so..."
Hisao smiles at me. "I should've known there was another reason for you doing that," he says teasingly. This time, it's my turn to blush a little, and he laughs as he strokes my hair. "Sorry, couldn't resist. But I guess you two have a point. I mean, it wouldn't be good for us to become the Fastest Thing on Four Legs right off the bat, right?"
I sputter out a laugh at that, and his grip on me loosens enough for me to dart downward and dance a couple steps away. "You are
so lucky I'm in a good mood right now." Hisao turns around to face me, and I can see the same lust in his eyes that I've had...well, pretty much all day. Now I just need to make sure he's telling me the truth about how he's feeling. "You know, Hisao, I think maybe what we should do is get you relaxed first."
He looks at me curiously for a bit before saying, "Okay, so how do you suggest we do that?"
"Welllllll...remember when you had that problem with your legs a while back?" I say, holding up the bag I brought with me. "Seems like that worked out pretty well, so I thought today I might try the other half!" With a mischievous grin, I finish, "Soooo...take your shirt off, Hisao."
"What, that same line?" Hisao says with a wink. "You'll have to do better than that."
"Hmmm...I guess I could just take it off
for you," I say seductively, and I'm not sure who I'm turning on more, him or me. Hisao raises an eyebrow, which I can't take as anything but a challenge, so I quickly pounce on him – gently enough...maybe – and immediately set to work on the buttons of his shirt. Unexpectedly, Hisao draws back a little and grabs my wrist. "Is...something wrong?" I ask nervously.
Hisao looks at me, then down at himself. "No," he says, looking back up at me with a smile. "Nothing at all." He puts my hand on the top button, and while I'm not sure what just happened, I'm not about to decline that particular invitation either. I make short work of his shirt, then slowly guide him down until he's lying on his back.
I look down at his chest, and notice how smooth it is. Dealing with the people on the track team, I'm used to seeing bodies that are more muscular, more defined. Hisao looks softer, but still lean. It kind of makes me want to snuggle into it right now, but that part's going to have to wait. As I look closer, my eyes are drawn to the reddish-brown line right down its center.
Of course. That's
why he almost stopped me.
Without thinking, I trace it with my finger, and Hisao flinches slightly. "So...that's..."
Hisao puts a hand on my cheek. "...where they opened me up, yeah. It's...getting easier to deal with people seeing it, but...ah?"
Guess I couldn't resist after all.
I lay my head on Hisao's chest, my ear directly on top of the scar in question. His heartbeat is a little faster than I'd like, which I expected, and for a little while I just listen to its slightly odd rhythm. After a moment, Hisao's hand begins stroking my hair, and I almost feel like I could fall asleep here right now. However, I've got too much energy for that, so I sit up. "Okay, Hisao, now turn over and let me get to work!"
Hisao looks at me with some surprise, then smiles. "It'd help if you got off me first."
I almost start pouting, but then I realize that there's a better path. Feeling mischievous, I get up onto my knees and look him in the eyes. "That enough room for you?"
Hisao raises an eyebrow, then nods. "So that's how it's going to be today?" He rolls over in place, and as planned his hip rubs across me as he does. "I think I'm in trouble," he says teasingly into his pillow.
You're not the only one, Hisao.
Once he's in position, I put my training to work. I start out with his shoulders, and I can already tell that Hisao's pretty tense. However, it's a different kind of tense than last time, so I use a different technique to work out the kinks. I haven't done this since around this same time last year, when Haji was studying for exams.
That was when the trouble really started.
We'd already been dating for a few months, and he was just starting to ask me about what would happen once he went to university. I told him I didn't want to think that far ahead, and at first he shrugged it off. As the second term went on, he got more and more persistent, and so I got more and more stubborn. I didn't want to stop having fun with him, but that was all I wanted. One day, he just snapped, and then it wasn't fun anymore. I told him I didn't want to see him again, and for a while I didn't.
Then came exams, and one night I ran into him in between sessions, sitting on the bleachers, a bunch of beer bottles on the ground already. I told him he needed to stop, and we started to argue. In the middle of it, he blurted out "Don't you know I loved you, you fucking bitch!" Of course I knew, but because he never told me, I could never properly reject him. So, of course, the asshole tried to make that my fault. That's when I tried to take the bottle away from him, but he just wouldn't let go. It wasn't until later that I found out I'd broken his finger. I was a little happy about that, and maybe I still am, but I'm even happier that I found someone that I really
do love.
We never spoke after that, but Misaki told me he wound up becoming a ronin this year. Despite it all, I don't really hate him, I just feel sorry for him, and I hope things work out. Thinking back on it, maybe I really was a little lonely back then, and I might've strung him along a little. I just never felt a real connection with him, and in the end, he was just someone to pass the time with.
I wonder if Hisao thinks of Lilly like that...
My hands have been working Hisao's back on auto-pilot for a while now. The time has come to do the rest of the job. "All right, Hisao," I continue, "let's take care of the legs now." Working my hands around his waist, I quickly find his belt buckle. Sensing what I'm about to do, Hisao lifts himself up on his elbows, letting me make quick work of it. I start to pull his pants down, but there's a
biiiit of an obstacle. I suppress a giggle as I maneuver them past it before yanking them off the rest of the way in one quick motion.
"Eh?" Hisao says in surprise, trying to crane his neck to see me. I hold the pants up victoriously with a grin. "Guess you've had some practice with that, too."
I roll the trousers up and smack him on the butt for that. "Not
that much!" I say, a little louder than necessary. "Just...you know, my impatience showing a little."
"Ah...heh...yeah, I think I can forgive you for that one, then."
Hisao lowers himself back down, giving me a good look at this half of him – a better one than the one I get every day, that is. Although the top half could still use a little work, at least his legs are starting to get some definition thanks to the running. His butt's not bad either, which is a nice bonus. This part of him's a lot less tense, which makes sense, so I don't spend nearly as much time as I did up above. Kind of a shame, but it means I can let my impatience take over for now.
I look down at Hisao's back again. If I were the type to think in clichés I'd probably be thinking something like it's carried me all this way. Instead, all I really want right now is to be closer to it. I stop my hands from going further, and instead I move to my own shirt, which I remove quickly. Finally stirring, Hisao protests, "Hey, why'd you stop? That felt really good."
After removing my bra, too, I lay myself on top of Hisao and wrap my arms under his. "Are you really going to complain about this?" I say, punctuating my teasing with a kiss to the base of his neck.
Hisao shivers slightly, and even though I can't see it I can kinda...
feel him blushing a little. "I...s-suppose not...but wasn't this supposed to be...haa...relaxing?"
Even though
he can't see it, I smile. "I don't want you relaxing
too much, Hisao," I say softly, and breathe on the back of his neck.
"Very...true," he says, a bit hazily.
I continue with my line of attack, planting my lips along the top of his shoulder, then tracing the top of his back and along the other shoulder. Since my hands are strategically placed, I check to make sure I'm not going too far the other way. Apparently, I'm not being all that stimulating just yet, so I move my hands across his chest and brush my fingers against his nipples. Hisao twitches a couple of times, so I keep one hand on his nipple and use the other to trace the scar in the middle. That gets his attention a little more, so I slide myself up enough to rest my chin on his shoulder. "Sooooo, how're you feeling now?"
"I...mmm...think what you're doing is working," he says in a contented voice. "Relaxing...but...not." He starts to shift under me, and I slide off in case I'm making him uncomfortable. He turns toward me, and for a long time his eyes are focused directly on me. It actually takes me a bit to figure out why: it's the first good look he's gotten at me without my top on. "You know," he says, breaking the silence and startling me a little, "I usually only get to stare at you while you're running. I like this view a lot, too."
I try my best to keep from blushing. "Heh, well, I am pretty amazing, right?"
Hisao sighs. "Yes, you are," he says plainly, and I lose the battle. "I thought so from that very first morning. I just wish I'd had the guts to keep running with you after that."
"Eh, it's fine. I know you weren't ready for it yet."
"Yeah, that's probably true," he says, rolling over onto his side. "I was feeling even sorrier for myself then than I was a few weeks ago." He reaches out a hand, running it along the side of my breast, and I start to feel a little tingly. "I guess I'm...ready now, though."
The tingling gets a little stronger. "Now?"
"Like I said," he says, sitting up, "you're not the only one who's a little impatient." The two of us exchange a
look. "So, if we're going to take things slow for my sake, then it might work better if I...took care of you first."
"Took care..." Hisao catches me off guard with that one, and the tingling turns into straight-up heat. I wasn't intending to even ask about that, and to be honest I wasn't expecting him to bring it up. I'm sure as hell not going to deny the offer, either. It actually makes some sense, too, because once I get off, things won't feel quite so
urgent.
Yeah, this could definitely work.
No doubt my grin has gotten ten times goofier in the last few seconds, so despite the risks I get my mouth moving. "Hey, who am I to argue? Just give me a minute to get ready." I shift myself to the foot the bed and take off my shorts. As I reach down to start the process of removing my legs, something pops into my mind. "Hey, um, Hisao? Would you...like to...help me with these?"
Hisao stares at me for a moment, and I think he knows what a big thing I'm asking. The only ones who've ever done this for me are Mom, the Nurse and other medical people. When Nurse talked about this before, it was a joke, but later I realized that I
wanted Hisao to be able to do this. If we're going to be intimate, this is about as intimate as it gets for me. Hisao visibly swallows as he stares at my legs, then stammers out, "A-are you sure?"
I look him dead in the eye and reply, "As sure as I've ever been about anything." When he still hesitates, I know I need to just run right into it. I turn around so I'm facing Hisao and smile. "Don't worry, it's not that complicated. Here," I say, starting to roll down the sock on my right leg, "I'll do this one to show you how, then you can try to do the other. Okay?"
Hisao nods, still looking a little nervous. "Okay. I'll make sure to pay...close attention."
"You'd better," I say with a grin. Once I get the sock down low enough to reveal where the prosthetic is connected, I glance back up at Hisao. As promised, he's watching my hands, and continues to watch and listen intently as I explain the process. I remember the day he first watched me do this very well, how nervous I was that he would think it was too weird. Today, my heart is pounding all over again, but in the end I don't feel like I have to worry at all. When I'm done, I look back up at him. "And that's it! Think you can do the other one?"
"Yeah," Hisao says, sounding at least a little confident. "I think I'm ready to try."
"All right, then, I leave myself in your hands!" I say with a flourish and incline my head in his direction. With a nervous smile, Hisao reaches out to my left leg. Shaking a little, his fingers brush my thigh, and I shiver just like I did when I imagined it. Gently, he rolls the sock down, and I feel my heat starting to rise again.
And I'm getting wet, too...trouble for sure.
Once he's not touching my skin directly any more, my head clears up slightly. I try not to let my nervousness show, but I can't help but bend forward to watch more closely. My head is only a few centimetres from his, and I wonder if I might be crowding him, so I jerk backwards, nearly sliding off the bottom of the bed in the process.
Stupid! Geez, you'd think this place would standardize these things...
When I look back up at Hisao, he's got a strange look on his face, like he's trying to be serious but failing. "Are you
sure you're okay with this?"
"Yeah, yeah," I say, waving him off. "Don't worry about it. You're doing fine, Hisao. I just...never mind." I was going to say that I just needed to calm down, but I knew that wasn't going to help matters any. I kind of wish I
could distract myself now, but I know I shouldn't, so I just settle for watching Hisao finish. It's a little bit of a rougher ride than usual, which is partly my own fault, but he finishes the job without too much hassle.
I let out a breath, and Hisao grins at me. "Looks like you're the one that needs to relax now," he says with a wicked grin. "I think that can be arranged."
"Don't worry, Hisao, you did fiIIIINE!" Hisao chuckles a bit at my reaction to him drawing his finger across my panties. After I catch my breath, I say, "So...hah...that's how it's going to be, huh? You could have at least let me get comfortable first, you...je-he-herk!" I can't keep myself from laughing as I say it, and Hisao smiles triumphantly.
That unleashes the pout. "Is that really how you're going to treat me, Hisao?"
This time, he looks suitably apologetic. "Fine, fine," he says with a sigh, and gets up from the bed. He gestures for me to lie down, and when I do he surprises me by moving to the bottom of the bed and positioning his head between my legs.
Another first in a day full of them...
I've given oral sex a couple of times, but I've never
received it before, since Hajime was always nervous about it for some reason. It's definitely on the list of things I've wanted to try, and not even having to ask is definitely a bonus. Before I can say anything, Hisao raises his head with a smile on his face. "I see you got a head start on me. Mind if I take advantage of it?"
"Didn't you do that already?" I retort with a weak grin. Hisao laughs, then quickly removes the last of my clothing. He returns to his previous position...and...then...
Wh-
Ah?
Oh!
Okay...this is...
...
Once I can form coherent thoughts...
...and why do you want to do that?
Why are you thinking, Ibarazaki?
Although...
It takes a little while, but somewhere in the depths it eventually registers that he's...not quite...
there. "Wh...why don't you try it..." I put my hand on his head and move it
juuuuust a little, "...
here?"
"Getting picky now, are we?" he says, and I don't need to open my eyes to see his smile. I can tell he's breathing a little heavily, but it definitely feels like he's done this before, so I'm willing to let him tell me if he starts having real trouble. He resumes his movements, and now that he's got the right spot what's left of my focus goes away
awfully quickly. Closing my eyes, I enjoy the ride that Hisao is taking me on.
Brain...checking out again...
...
Brain...checking in again...damn, Hisao, that was...
For...um...
time, everything in the world is still pretty much solid white. I don't know if it's because it's the first time I've done this, or if it's because it's Hisao, but the intensity level went up a few notches from my usual orgasm.
Yeah. Officially, better than the runner's high. Not even on the same lap.
When I finally come down, I see Hisao lying next to me, staring at me. "You know, you're pretty good at that," I say between shudders.
"Well," Hisao says, and
damn does that blush look even cuter now, and maybe I could move a little bit after all. I roll onto my side to get a better look at him as he talks, but he turns his face away from me. "Um...I had a good teacher. Lilly...had some very...
specific ideas of what she wanted. She even gave a...well, I guess you'd call it a demonstration."
I rouse enough strength to jam my knee into Hisao's armpit, and he yelps. "Bad form, Hisao!" Still, I can't get too mad, because this gives me an idea. "Soooooo...you like to watch, do you?" I say with an evil grin.
"Actually," Hisao says, swallowing, "that...was the one that nearly set my heart off."
"Oh...ohhhhhhhh, so you
really like to watch," I say, putting a finger on his chin and turning his face to look at me. "We'll just have to save that for another time, then."
...along with some other things I haven't tried yet.
"Maybe I should get her to teach me a few things, too." I say in a sultry voice. "Besides English, I mean."
Hisao jumps back a little, a shocked look in his eyes. "Wait, what? Wouldn't...that be kind of...weird?"
Way to ruin a moment, Hisao.
When I splutter in my attempt not to laugh, he quickly adds, "The English, I meant, not the...um...that is..." His blush deepens, my spluttering increases, until finally Hisao falls over backwards, nearly hitting his head on the shelf. "Ugh, I give up!"
Once I collect myself, I say, "Yeah, sorry, I forgot I hadn't told you about that. Probably not the best time to bring it up, huh?" Finally having regained my composure, I smile at Hisao, and prepare to destroy it again. "Anyway, since it looks like you're pretty good at...um...swabbing the deck, matey. Now we need to see how you handle...um," I totally fail to keep a straight face as I finish the thought, "loading the...hehe...c-cannon?" Now I can't stop giggling, and Hisao starts doing it, too.
"Um...aye aye, captain, but...I think you might need to...er...raise the flag? First?" My eyes go wide as I realize what he means, and I look down to see that he's at half-mast.
Damn it, why did I start this bit?
Following my gaze, Hisao turns very red. "Sorry, that...might be my meds at work."
My eyes widen a little at that, but now's not the time to worry about it. "Maybe, maybe not. After all, I
was saying some weird stuff myself just now. Don't worry about it," I say, kissing him on the forehead and reaching down to take off his boxers. "I'll take care of it." Hisao gasps as I start to do just that, and it doesn't take much before he's standing at attention again. With my other hand, I reach down to where I dropped my shorts earlier and pull out a foil packet from one of the pockets. Hisao looks up and, after seeing it, nods, so I open it up and slip it on.
After silently thanking Nurse for giving me the right size, I look at Hisao's face. I'm surprised that he actually looks a little nervous – but I probably shouldn't be, because I'll bet I do, too. "Well, then," I say.
"Here goes n-" Hisao starts to say, but I put a hand to his mouth to stop him.
"Oh, no," I say with a slight edge to my voice. "'Nothing' is definitely not what this is going to be, Hisao." He looks at me and nods with a gleam in his eye, then wraps his hands around the one I have against his lips and kisses my fingers. After that, I can't wait any more, so I lift my right leg over him and guide myself down. After what happened earlier, he comes all the way in with one push, and it. Feels. Awesome to have him finally, officially inside me.
I close my eyes for a moment just to drink it all in, then open them to make sure he's okay, too. That's when I notice something out of place. "Wait, you're still wearing your socks?"
"Huh," I feel him flex his legs a little, and my needle skips just a bit. "I guess I am. Is that a problem?"
"Well, it's kinda weird to still have them on."
"Um...you're still wearing yours, too, though, aren't you?"
I blink a couple of times before realizing what he means. "Yeah, but I don't have my
legs on, so it doesn't count."
Hisao looks up at me, trying to give me my own pouting expression. "You know, I'm not exactly in a position to take them off right now."
That wasn't bad, either, and I giggle a little. "Good point. I think I can handle it, then." I lean over into a backbend, the top of my head on the mattress, and snatch Hisao's socks off his feet without letting go of any other part of him. Once I have them in hand, I sit back up to face him, and I notice his eyes have widened a bit. I dangle them in front of him, a grin on my face.
"I think I'm outclassed here," he says teasingly.
"Now you see the
true value of stretching," I say with a wink before tossing the socks into a corner. "Actually, I used to be into gymnastics before losing my legs. Comes in handy, don'tcha think?"
"Yeah, definitely," Hisao says, sounding a little awestruck. "I know guys back at my old school who'd kill for a girlfriend who could do things like that."
"Too bad for them there's only one of me, then," I reply, leaning forward to kiss Hisao's neck. I can feel his heart beating a little fast, but not dangerously so, and I can see beads of sweat on his forehead. I stay like that for a little bit, letting him get used to the feeling in there. "Okay, Hisao," I say quietly, "Here's another one of those stereotypical lines guys are supposed to say – I'm going to start moving now." I lift myself up with my arms, and
slooooowly slide my body forward, then
slooooowly push it back again.
"Hey, just don't go so slow that I fall asleep on you," Hisao says with an evil smile. Since I'm the only one allowed to do that, a little payback is in order. I smile deviously, bend down as though I'm going to kiss him again, and then dig my teeth into his shoulder. "Hey!" he shouts with a reasonably satisfying amount of pain. "That's gonna leave a mark, you know!"
"That's the idea, Hisao," I say, still grinning at him. "After everything I've been through, after everything
we've been through, you're finally mine, and now anyone who sees that will know. There's no way I'm ever giving you up now." I lean into Hisao again, and this time, I give him the longest, deepest kiss I've ever shared with anyone.
NOW we're getting started...
After that, I do the same thing I did before, only a little bit faster. Hisao murmurs something like, "I'll let you explain it to Nurse, then." I ignore him and move a little bit faster still, then a little bit faster than that, and a little bitfaster, and a littlebitfaster, and alittlebitfaster, andalittlebitfasterandalittlebit...
Whoa...this isn't a sprint, Ibarazaki! Focus!
When my brain re-engages, I realize I'm starting to glisten a little. Hisao is panting a little himself, and not just from the excitement. There's plenty of that, though, if what I'm feeling inside is any indication. "Sorry, Hisao...I should know you're not ready for my speed yet."
He smiles at me through the haze. "I...can handle more than that," he says with a mixture of confidence and disappointment. I can sympathize
so hard with that. "I guess...maybe...we could meet somewhere in the middle?"
I roll my eyes. "Not fair using a girl's own words against her at a time like this." I squeeze my thighs as a mild punishment then, after another, lighter kiss, I change positions, straightening my back. I slowly lift my butt, then slowly bring it back down again. Inside, I can feel him just as much as before, or maybe a little more than that. I push the feeling of wanting to...well,
push out of my head, working to make my motions
longer instead of
faster. I let Hisao relish the feeling of almost coming all the way out, then going all the way back in, over and over.
It's not bad for me either.
After a little while, I take a look down at Hisao. I see his eyes are closed, and there's a light smile on his face. He looks...
peaceful. Since we can't have that, I decide to tease him again. I lower myself until my face is right next to his ear. "Hey," I say, making sure to breathe gently at the same time. "You'd better not be spacing out on m-eep!"
I suddenly feel Hisao's teeth on my earlobe, and I wince. He gently drags them downwards, his breath in my ear making me shiver slightly. "Payback from earlier," he says softly. "I was beginning to wonder what it was going to take to get you down here."
Well played, Hisao.
"Uh-huh..." Another round of kissing begins, and this time Hisao finally brings his hands into play, running them across my back and onto my butt. Like the rest of his upper body, they're surprisingly soft, and I get an urge to teach him some massage techniques when we're done here. Not wanting to lose this sensation, I change the movement of my hips again so I can stay right here, short and quick over long and slow.
I should have known this couldn't last, though. With things speeding up, Hisao's breathing quickly starts to get ragged. I start to slow my movement again until my own head is clear enough. Rhythm...we need to get into a rhythm here. I can't keep speeding up like that just because it feels good. After a few seconds, I get an idea. I lean down to Hisao's ear again, then whisper, "Okay, Hisao...breathe with me..."
"Breathe...with you?" he asks after his shivering subsides.
"Yeah," I say, trying to keep my voice steady. Both of us need to be thinking less, or this isn't going to work – and if it doesn't work now, it may never. "Like...out on the track. Focus on your...breathing, and...listen to mine."
"Yeah, I...got it. I'll try."
Since I'm pretty much making this up as I go along, I really hope I've got the right idea. I can't say that to Hisao, because I don't need him to be any more nervous. I could just stop things now, but then I wouldn't be true to myself. I don't like it when people just give up, so I can't do it either.
I can feel Hisao's breathing, and his heartbeat, and they're starting to come back down. Without shifting, I grab hold of the shelf above the bed and slowly pull myself up along his sweat-slicked stomach and chest. As I do, I breathe in a long breath, and listen for Hisao's matching one. It's a little off, but I can tell he's trying. Then, I push myself back down, breathing out as I do. Getting the idea quickly, Hisao's hands move to my waist, both caressing and steadying me. I do that a few more times until Hisao's rhythm matches mine.
You tried to go at my speed, and it didn't work out so well...
I start to build up again, but more slowly than I did before. Hisao continues to match my pace, and I'm starting to feel his breathing all through my body.
I figured, just for today, I'd see what going at your speed felt like.
I pick up the pace a little more, and now I think I can feel his heartbeat, too. The out-of-rhythm beats start to assert themselves a little bit in my own motions.
It's not what I'm used to, that's for sure.
Hisao uses his hands to keep those motions steady in return, and I can feel the intensity rising in both of us. In the back of my head, something clicks into place, and I think I understand the old cliché about becoming one like this.
But you know, Hisao, if we can work on you picking up your pace?
From Hisao's movements, I can tell he's near the finish line, so I risk a short burst in the home stretch.
I'm pretty sure I'd be willing to meet you somewhere in the middle.
That's all we needed before I feel him tense up in a familiar way, and then the pulsing inside me: breathing, heartbeat, and...Hisao.
I think we might just be able to do that.
I feel a little disappointed that I can't feel the rest of the sensations that come with it, but that's quickly overtaken when I remember that we'll be doing this a lot more often in the near future. As the throbbing subsides, I can't help but grin at Hisao's blissful face.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure we can.
I ease myself upwards, grabbing a handful of tissues to stem the tide, and deposit the whole package in Hisao's wastebasket. Now that I have a chance to relax again, I find some room between Hisao and the wall to lie down, one arm across his chest and my head on his shoulder. Hisao lazily turns his face to me and smiles, and I sigh contentedly. I feel...nicely tired, and nicely close.
Yeah, not everything needs to be fast, right?
Hisao slips an arm around my shoulders and pulls me in closer. I wriggle my body as close to Hisao as I can, so I can feel as much of his warmth as possible. I almost feel like I'm living a cliché, but I really don't care anymore, because it's such a great feeling that I don't want it to end. I can feel myself starting to drift off, but before I let that happen there's something I have to say. "Hisao?"
"Mmmm...what is it?"
"Um, I just wanted to thank you again."
"Hm? For what?"
I pause for a second, trying to put it into words. "Well...everything, I guess. Never giving up on me, listening to me when I needed it, giving me space when I needed it, letting me say everything I said this morning without it getting weird...just...being exactly what I needed, exactly when I needed it. I'd kinda given up on anyone ever being that, but the universe came through for me somehow, because here you are." I give him a light kiss on the chest. "So...thank you."
Hisao squeezes my shoulders in return. "You know, I could say the exact same thing right back to you. You gave me everything I needed to keep going. You were the one who showed me how to move forward with my own life, so that I wasn't just letting it flow past me. Somehow, at just the right time, when I'd figured out exactly what I was feeling...you figured it out, too. So really, I'm the one that needs to thank you."
Hisao kisses the top of my head, and I relax even more. Before I finally fall asleep, I have one last thing to ask. It's the most important question I've got, and I'm pretty sure I know the answer, but still...I want to hear it. "Hey, can I ask you a favor?"
I can feel Hisao smiling next to me as he says, "Sure. Can't guarantee I'll do it, but..."
I giggle a little, since I can be sure it's a joke, but then I look up at him to see him looking back. I close the few inches between us and kiss him, long and deep. When I finally pull back, I ask him the most selfish thing I ever could. "Stay with me? Please?"
For a long moment, Hisao looks at me, his eyes glittering in the fading sunlight. "Of course," he says, and I've never heard more beautiful words in my life. I sigh, and lay my head back on his shoulder. Hisao wraps his arm around me and holds me softly. It can't be more than a few seconds before sleep embraces me, too.
* * * *
I wake up after the best night's sleep I've had in
ages. It's also the best
morning I've had in ages, because even before opening my eyes I can still feel Hisao lying next to me. I can also feel myself being poked by something...well, not exactly
unwelcome, but...
"Good morning."
"'Morning, Hisao. Mmmmm...how long have you been awake?"
"A while. I didn't want to disturb the beauty of your sleeping face."
With my eyes still closed, I grin at him. "So you were watching me sleep, huh? Rin warned me you like to do that."
"Huh? Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, never mind. Listen, Hisao, I know you're probably ready to go another round," I tap the side of the part of him that's poking me with a finger, "but we should probably get some breakfast." I finally open my eyes and look into his. "I mean, you're going to need some sustenance, right?" I say with a wink, then push myself up to give him what was supposed to be a quick kiss, but winds up...lingering...for a while...
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to...
...no, no, no, FOCUS. You need to be careful about...
...aw, dammit...
This time, we don't talk at all. I do my best to try and keep an eye and ear on Hisao's condition, but I can't. I do make sure we keep things nice and straightforward, and I rely on my own instincts for everything else. I quietly check things out afterwards, and apparently my training is paying off quite well. "That'll work for me as far as sustenance goes," Hisao mutters to me from above my head, which is resting on his chest.
"Mmmm, yeah, but we're still getting breakfast," I murmur without moving. "I think we might be able to count that as enough exercise to skip running, though." Hisao mumbles a tired-sounding assent. "You should probably rest a little after...you know, so I'll go take a shower." I regrettably start to separate myself from Hisao for the first time since yesterday afternoon. Evading his playful attempts to keep me there, I slide my way over to where my legs are, then lift myself onto his chair to put them on.
"Don't be too long," Hisao calls out as I walk past him with my bag in hand.
"Wouldn't dream of it," I say, winking in his direction as I make my way out into the hallway.
Damn, it's summer...I shouldn't feel this cold.
I step in the shower and turn on the hot water full blast until the cold goes away, then I adjust it until it's comfortable. I wasn't
sure I'd still be here this morning, but I brought my own soap and shampoo just in case. My body is still a little tired, but it's a nice tired. If I wanted to, I could probably go out for a run this morning, but I think we both could use a break. I even slept straight through the night – no nightmares at all. Couldn't have asked for a better way of waking up, either.
If only I'd brought some stuff to make breakfast instead of having to deal with the damn cafeteria. Oh, well, guess that'll have to wait, too.
On my way back to Hisao's room, I tread carefully around Setou's door. Even though Hisao insists he's not here, I've learned not to underestimate his ability to hide himself. I knock on Hisao's door a couple times, then try the handle. "I'm coming in, Hisao," I announce, and when I do I see my boyfriend sitting on the bed, still naked, looking at me. I smile at the sight and say, "You know, I was a little disappointed you didn't come join me in there."
"Heh, I thought about it," he says, stretching his arms, "but when I sat up my body felt like lead."
"Well, in that case, not running was the right thing," I wink. "Now, you
are going to take a shower, right?"
"Yeah, I'll go down there now," he says, slowly straightening up. "You sure you're okay with not running this morning?"
"I'm fine," I say with a dismissive wave. It's strange, but I don't actually feel like it's a lie, either. "Maybe we can do something after lunch, like we did the other day?"
"That's not a bad idea," he replies before wrapping an arm around my waist and giving me a light kiss. He picks up his own shower basket and says, "I'll be back shortly."
"You'd better," I say with a wink before Hisao walks out. As the door closes, I get dressed, and I realize that this is the first time I've been here by myself. The room really is pretty clean – the first time I came here, I figured he'd cleaned up because he knew I was coming, but today he couldn't have, so this must just be how he is. I guess I should expect that from someone whose parents weren't around much. He said he could cook for himself in a pinch, so this makes sense, too. Still, being in here makes me feel a little restless, so after I straighten out the bed, I poke around a little in his closet.
This place really is kinda boring. How many of those damn sweater-vests does he have, anyway?
I look around the rest of the room, and while the posters and stuff help, the room still feels kind of gray. There's nothing on his desk but books and some college brochures, nothing on his shelves but his alarm clock and all those pill bottles. There isn't even a picture of his family here. The posters are a start, at least.
But that's it, isn't it? ALL of this is just a start. The start of EVERYTHING. He's started living again, so from now on it needs to be the best life it can be.
The best I can make it.
Just then, I hear the door open, and Hisao walks in wearing nothing but a towel and slippers. It's kind of a shame that he just took a shower, but at the same time it's for the best. "I'm home," Hisao says in a joking tone.
"Welcome back," I say with a wink, stepping over to him for a kiss. "You don't mind if I watch you get dressed, do you?"
Hisao smiles at me as he opens a drawer. "Oh, so you have things
you like to watch, too, eh? I see..."
I grin back at him. "Yep, you caught me!" Even as I watch him, though, my restless feeling doesn't go away, so I get up and walk over to the window. It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day, at least.
After a moment, Hisao comes over and puts his hand on my shoulder. "Something wrong?"
"Maybe," I say quietly, and then I understand what it is. Everything's been going right for me today, but there's still one thing that's wrong. I turn to Hisao and ask, "Hey, remember what I asked you earlier? About coming over to our place this weekend?"
"Yeah, I said I would, right?"
"In that case, why don't I give Mom a call now?" I pick up my bag and start digging around for my cell phone. "We can go tomorrow," I say as I start dialing. "Heh, if I tell her I'm bringing you, she might even go easier on me."
"Yeah, tomorrow should be..." Hisao stops and raises an eyebrow. "Hang on, why the rush all of a sudden? And easier on you for what?"
I smile sickeningly sweetly at him and say, "I'll tell you over breakfast, if you tell me your secret, too."
As Hisao rolls his eyes and mutters something that sounds like an affirmation, Mom picks up the phone. "Hello? Emi?"
"Yeah, hi, Mom, it's me. Look, first off, I want to say I'm sorry about the other day. I was kinda stressed out, and I said some things I shouldn't've, and..."
"Hang on, dear," Mom says, her voice sounding a little tired. "Before you run me completely over, are you sure you want to talk about this on the phone?"
I sigh and look over at Hisao. I'm kind of putting him on the spot, but I know this isn't something he'd bail on me over, and I hope he knows that goes for me, too. "Actually...you're right, I don't. I'm coming home for dinner tomorrow, so I'm hoping we can talk then."
There's a pause on the other end, and when Mom talks again she sounds a little better. "Of course, dear, I'll make sure to make enough for you."
"Ummm...actually, I was wondering if...um...you might...makeenoughforanotherpersontoo?"
Again, Mom doesn't say anything right away. "Another...person? Were you thinking about having Rin over?"
"No, it's someone else." I take a deep breath before saying, "If it's all right, I'd like you to officially meet my boyfriend."
~~~~
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? Heh, that's fine, though. I mean, there's a lot here, so I doubt anyone can say they enjoyed every last part of it.
.
.
I'm not as familiar with the song titles as I am with the scene names, but there have been a few.
. More about Hajime still to come, though.
