Katawa Shoujo Forums

Posted: **Sat Jul 07, 2012 3:19 pm**

mysterycycle wrote:But isn't cynicism essentially always expecting the worst? Doesn't that make it just as unrealistic as unfettered optimism?

Not when i'm right 90% of the time. And like i said, the times you're wrong aren't unpleasant. I was wrong about Katawa Shoujo, when it was advertised i thought it was just a bad hentai game about fucking cripples made as a desperate grab for attention, but i was wrong. It was very well written and had who quickly became one of my favorite fictional characters. And i was also wrong about it being a game, but that's a minor detail.

Posted: **Sat Jul 07, 2012 6:18 pm**

Pyramid Head wrote:And lastly i knew a Kenji. Or several Kenji's. Charmless lunatics to whom logic and reason have no meaning. I knew a man who preached of how he would remove a great cancer from the world but knew very little about the rammifications, knew quite a few people who blamed many of the worlds problems on something that had nothing to do with the problem, and my sister had quite the ego and at a couple of points when my dad and i were discussing politics she'd make it clear she thought we were doing it just to spite her. The many Kenji's i've known have kind of ruined my ability to find entertainment in the idiots of life, and have left me with a strong level of disgust in most of humanity. I can like individuals fine but for the most part people to me seem like a toxin when you look at things from the world's perspective. And i'd like to detox. But then again, that's why i avoid YouTube and stick to forums like these, so i can avoid the toxins for the time being and find interesting individuals instead of a swarm of countless barely literate wastes of carbon.

...maybe i shouldn't save the worst for last like that.

Jesus, buddy. There was a hole here. It's GONE now.

You do what ya gotta do, I guess.

... Hang on a minute. You shacked up with a Kenji IRL? How was THAT? Nothing fuels hawt sexin' like paranoia and bad eyesight. Mmm-mmm.

But yer prolly serious. Dammit.

Posted: **Sat Jul 07, 2012 6:50 pm**

This started marginally dissimilar to the Hanako's broken hearts thread, but quickly devolved into that. So I'm merging the two.

Posted: **Sat Jul 07, 2012 6:52 pm**

Myshina wrote:
Tununias wrote:I had a crush on a girl in the 8th grade. I was too shy so I never said anything. That year, I had been asked out by 5 different girls. All of which I had turned down since I was overweight and assumed they were just making fun of me. I was even sexually harassed by one. Then, after my 8th grade year, I moved.

All these experiences have made me extremely shy and awkward for me to talk to people. Years later (I'm 20 now) I'm still really shy but it's not near as bad as it was.
I guess there really isn't any similarities to KS other than that I could relate with Hanako in some ways. I guess you could say I got the Kenji route.
This is the first (and probably only) time I've mentioned this.
I almost didn't post this so please be nice.
Do not worry dear, no body is here to judge you.

We all are broken souls; some of us already patched themselves, some of us are looking for glue, and some have just started to gather the pieces.

I couldn't have said it better myself

Posted: **Sat Jul 07, 2012 7:13 pm**

When I was very young, in elementary school, I never had friends. In third grade, I started becoming friends with this kid. He then started bullying me, for no apparent reason I can see. Nobody would do anything about it, I having gone to the school and my parents on multiple occasions. When I tried to fight him, he brought in some older kids to the fray. I had to switch schools. After that, I got really depressed and stopped doing my school work. I delved myself into video games to forget what a piece of shit I thought I was. Never have made friends since. Still spend most of my time in video games. Still haven't dealt with my depression. I'm going into my senior year of high school now. Life's a beach, ain't it?

Posted: **Sat Jul 07, 2012 7:51 pm**

Yatzi wrote:When I was very young, in elementary school, I never had friends. In third grade, I started becoming friends with this kid. He then started bullying me, for no apparent reason I can see. Nobody would do anything about it, I having gone to the school and my parents on multiple occasions. When I tried to fight him, he brought in some older kids to the fray. I had to switch schools. After that, I got really depressed and stopped doing my school work. I delved myself into video games to forget what a piece of shit I thought I was. Never have made friends since. Still spend most of my time in video games. Still haven't dealt with my depression. I'm going into my senior year of high school now. Life's a beach, ain't it?

Hmm, sounds rough, I know where you're coming from though. I was also bullied in school and I became an introvert because of it. Don't worry about it, after you finish your senior year it'll all get better, no more douche bags to deal with, a fresh start!

Also, on a side-note, my thread seems to have been abducted by this one.

Posted: **Sat Jul 07, 2012 8:27 pm**

Posted: **Sat Jul 07, 2012 8:45 pm**

Yatzi wrote:When I was very young, in elementary school, I never had friends. In third grade, I started becoming friends with this kid. He then started bullying me, for no apparent reason I can see. Nobody would do anything about it, I having gone to the school and my parents on multiple occasions. When I tried to fight him, he brought in some older kids to the fray. I had to switch schools. After that, I got really depressed and stopped doing my school work. I delved myself into video games to forget what a piece of shit I thought I was. Never have made friends since. Still spend most of my time in video games. Still haven't dealt with my depression. I'm going into my senior year of high school now. Life's a beach, ain't it?

Yeah, but what can ya do? Sometimes people can turn to bastards on a dime, and you find it hard to associate with the pricks. People are best handled in short bursts, and with a touch of skepticism. And it's best not to reflect to hard on yourself or try to evaluate yourself, people never have accurate opinions on themselves, it's either way too high or full of self loathing and i rarely find an in between.

Oh, one more thing, if you haven't tried it already, Valve's game Portal is one of the best things you will ever play. You can download it or pick it up in a five game collection called The Orange Box which also comes with some good shooters, but the humor and unique mechanics of Portal are something everyone should experience. Or if you're more in the mood for shadenfreude, BioShock is a good console game where you bludgeon people with a pipe wrench and set them on fire with your bare hands. Just some things to consider.
Oh, and before i forget, welcome to the Broken Heart Club.

Posted: **Sat Jul 07, 2012 9:06 pm**

kindspy wrote:I've been lingering around the forums for some time, mostly just reading about the music composed for the game. And I came upon this thread, and I'm having trouble trying to tell my own story on here. Every time I try to put pen to paper to write an objective view of my life, I keep deleting and rewriting what I want to say. The way that I have always been able to express myself fully has been through music. However, when filled with emotion, I can write poetry and I can write letters. The letters sometimes have a specific addressee, but other times don't have a specific addressee. Here is such a letter.

To Whom It May Concern,

Thank you. Thank you very much. You don’t know how much I appreciate the amount of torment that I have endured in the past thee… five… thirteen years… I have wavered between being happy and being on the verge of suicide, all while trying to put on a big show for everyone to cover up my frustrations, my depression, and at times even my happiness. I have also taken the blame for a lot of things, when I shouldn’t have. I can’t trust anyone of you people any more. I will not let you control me…

It was you who decided helping me was less important than keeping the class average up… It was you who decided to just stick to old ways without trying to help me with my speech delay… It was you who decided to push me against the wall in front of all of your students and my classmates, just because I wanted to be in a group with my friend and not a student from your class…

It was you who misunderstood my puppy love for you as the advances of some monster… or in your words… a stalker… It was you who decided that being in a relationship with a delusional girl was more important than our friendship… It was you who made me feel like an idiot whenever I’d come to you for help, after class, especially when I was almost failing your class… It was you who handed me my diploma, while looking at me with a guilty look…

It was you who lived in my room, and decided to hog my refrigerator… hog my printer… my television… my computer… my space… It was you who I heard… in the middle of the night… with your girlfriend… It was you who thought that I was somehow into your girlfriend and decided to not trust me… It was you who I found crying when you and your girlfriend broke up… you who I hugged and listened to… who I cried along with… who I loved… It was you who decided to just give me a pat on the shoulder when the girl I liked decided that she wasn’t interested in me any more…

It was you… You who I met in the college dining hall, after you so elegantly chose to sit down across from me… you who shared all my interests… all my beliefs… my political ideologies… my unconditional love and understanding of all people… it was you who stole my heart… it was you who kissed me… it was you who was in a relationship with someone else… It was you who made me feel guilty, but said it was okay, because your boyfriend was okay with it… it was you who almost voided my V-Card membership… It was I who accepted you for who you are… a free spirited, barefoot, affectionate, bi-polar, abused, hippie… It was you who decided I wasn’t interesting enough for you… It was you who was on a whole nother planet, and I who barely left the atmosphere… It is you who I see whenever I’m in my room… alone… It is you who I’ve tried to get over for the past year and one day…

It was you who I met in Band… you who I fell for next… you who decided… lets wait… You who decided not to talk to me for a whole… four months… But then it was you who decided that we couldn’t be friends any more…

It is not you but me that is left with the burden… I can’t believe I trusted you… I trusted you to help me when I was down… when I was struggling… when I was confused… when I was lonely… when I was in love… Yet you didn’t… You just decided to hit me while I was down… Guess what… I’m standing back up… and Sooner or later, you’ll be the one who is down, and you’ll be looking for my help… And guess what... I wouldn’t even piss on you if you were on fire, unless I could piss gasoline…

It seems the only people I can trust are myself… my family… and the few people who have been there when I was at my lowest point… To you people, I thank you… and I love you…

Interesting. A lot more seasoned than what i would be able to write, and while dark sometimes just being able to commit what is going through your mind as flames of old love flicker and die takes a lot more backbone than people realize.
Still though, writing is a good way to vent though, isn't it? Sometimes if you just let your fingers dance without paying too much attention you'll learn some things about yourself you didn't know, a deep feeling you never consciously acknowledged maybe, or maybe you'll realize you aren't as sore about something as you thought you were. But, in the end, sometimes the pounding of the keyboard or the scratching of pen and paper is cathartic and you just feel a need to write. Or is that just one madman's musings?

Posted: **Sat Jul 07, 2012 9:19 pm**

Yatzi wrote:When I was very young, in elementary school, I never had friends. In third grade, I started becoming friends with this kid. He then started bullying me, for no apparent reason I can see. Nobody would do anything about it, I having gone to the school and my parents on multiple occasions. When I tried to fight him, he brought in some older kids to the fray. I had to switch schools. After that, I got really depressed and stopped doing my school work. I delved myself into video games to forget what a piece of shit I thought I was. Never have made friends since. Still spend most of my time in video games. Still haven't dealt with my depression. I'm going into my senior year of high school now. Life's a beach, ain't it?

That kind of depression can take a while to work through. And a whole lot of people come out of high school with a lot of damage, so at the very least, you're not alone in that.

As much as I hope things turn around for you in your senior year - and they certainly can - bear in mind that life does get better after high school. It gets harder in some areas, but for the vast majority of people I've known or talked to online, it gets better. You'll still be you when you get out, and you'll feel more and more freedom to be who you really are, and to become the person you want to be. It's more likely - especially if you're going to college - that you'll find more people like yourself. And, believe it or not, a lot of the people who were jerks in school come to realize what jerks they were, and actively try to change for the better. I've reconnected with a couple of them in my own life, and invariably they feel pretty foolish about how they behaved back then.

Having said these things, I hope you don't let the people who hurt you keep you from opening up to others, or from achieving things for yourself. One of my biggest regrets was that I never did any homework in high school (out of pure laziness more than anything else), and because of that I missed out on things like scholarships which would have allowed me to avoid the heavy school loan debts I'm struggling to pay off now. But even more importantly, while you know well how easily you make yourself vulnerable to being hurt, is the alternative worth it? You might miss out on what could become an enduring friendship with someone out there, or something more.

I'm not trying to paint sunshine and rainbows, but one of the things KS reminded me of was that shutting your emotions down and isolating yourself - something I was doing - is no way to live. It would seem to me that cutting yourself off from other people and letting your grades sink would be to allow that kid who betrayed you to control your life...even though he isn't even there any more.

Posted: **Sat Jul 07, 2012 10:22 pm**

Pyramid Head wrote: Interesting. A lot more seasoned than what i would be able to write, and while dark sometimes just being able to commit what is going through your mind as flames of old love flicker and die takes a lot more backbone than people realize.
Still though, writing is a good way to vent though, isn't it? Sometimes if you just let your fingers dance without paying too much attention you'll learn some things about yourself you didn't know, a deep feeling you never consciously acknowledged maybe, or maybe you'll realize you aren't as sore about something as you thought you were. But, in the end, sometimes the pounding of the keyboard or the scratching of pen and paper is cathartic and you just feel a need to write. Or is that just one madman's musings?

Far from it. Being the wishful writer I am, I'm more than tempted to just let loose and spray a bit of bad prose onto the digital pages every now and then. But then I tell myself I'm being pretentious. I'm not good enough. I'm some wannabe idiot with no talent for writing. So I restrain myself, for the most part. This is a healing place though, so feel free to forgive me if you see me crooning every now and then.

Posted: **Sat Jul 07, 2012 11:33 pm**

I m coming back from a wedding. During the cocktail party, I reminded myself of Hanako.

Damn. Knew I had social anxiety but didn't know it was that bad...

Posted: **Sat Jul 07, 2012 11:36 pm**

yummines wrote:I m coming back from a wedding. During the cocktail party, I reminded myself of Hanako.

Damn. Knew I had social anxiety but didn't know it was that bad...

Did you drink too much? Or did you not drink enough?

Posted: **Sat Jul 07, 2012 11:42 pm**

Yummines wrote:I m coming back from a wedding. During the cocktail party, I reminded myself of Hanako.

Damn. Knew I had social anxiety but didn't know it was that bad...

I know it feels like that when you hyperfocus on it, but it's probably not as bad as you think. I know from experience.

For me, it's helped to accept my social mistakes. Maybe I stumble a bit over words, but now I take it in stride where before I would've beaten myself up for it. Everybody has little spoonerisms or moments where a well-formed sentence becomes a trainwreck when it's spoken aloud. It helps SO much to care less about what you're doing wrong, accept the fact, and move on. Maybe it's better for me, since I've been improving steadily over the years, but I'm the same way at parties, especially when there's nobody there I know for me to gravitate to. Just relax, put on a contemplative look instead of a nervous one, and take in what you can get. It's hard to fight a fear when there's nothing tangible to attack.

Posted: **Sun Jul 08, 2012 12:41 am**

Hullo everyone. I have returned for a brief moment...

I'd like to welcome all new HBHC members.

I've read everyone's stories, but whatever was needed to be said has already been said. So, I can only add one word. Momentai.

My own situation is stable. I've found a good place to stay with pretty good rent, 300$CD a month. Although the company could be better.

I find myself longing to do something with my life now that I've regained control, but I don't know what to do. I'm completely lost, and as such, for the past few weeks I've just been reading through the Visual Novels I have.

I know it's a little off topic, but I've been feeling a mixture of emotions since I've finished reading Princess Waltz, Deardrops, and completed watching the F/SN anime and movie. Recently I started YMK, and generally I just feel the entire tone of the VN is depressing. The only endings that have left me satisfied are Princess Waltz, Deardrops(All endings are good enough for me) and F/SN UBW movie/path. The Fate path ending for both VN/anime is generally not my kind of ending, and I didn't appreciate it that much. It left me mad at F/SN, and I almost deleted it in anger before giving UBW a try.

Also, in all the depressive days that's come over me, I seem to have lost my waifu. I just don't seem to have any feelings for any character right now, my heart just feels locked up and I long for someone to save me from the dark prison I'm in.

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