(Where's the Walkthrough?)
https://ks.fhs.sh/
I was kind of curious about this one (why twenty?) so I looked it up. Apparently, in Japan the girl must be 16, the boy 18 and they both need parental consent until they are at least 20. How novel...Eurobeatjester wrote: ↑Tue May 26, 2020 3:16 am I bring a hand up to my mouth, my mind whirling. “That would be true, wouldn’t it? But, even if it is true, we wouldn’t be able to until we were twenty, and...and holy shit, am I actually talking about this?”
Yep, same thing with the medical aspect. Age of adulthood in Japan is 20, not 18 like many other countries.
The whole consent thing doesn't make sense from a western perspective, but as long as they have it I can understand keeping it at one parent each. Imagine the drama otherwiseEurobeatjester wrote: ↑Tue May 26, 2020 2:48 pm However, parental consent only requires one parent from each side to approve it and not both parents on each side. That's why it would be a long engagement if it were to happen.
Really looking forward to it!Eurobeatjester wrote: ↑Tue May 26, 2020 2:48 pm The next chapter is going to be very long, probably the longest one yet. It's meant to be the climax of the story, so it might take me a while to write (as if my normal schedule wasn't sporadic enough)
4 chapters left
That's a great point about agency, I hope euro will explore that at least a little bit.Blackmambauk wrote: ↑Wed May 27, 2020 9:06 am At the same time, this doesn't surprise me that japan has this sort of legality to it, since its still very much a patriarchy society along with if and when Saki's condition deteriorates to the point that she may need someone to make medical decisions for her. Then Hisao would be the one she would want to make that decision. But i wonder on if Saki would be comfortable in making that decision, if she maybe would have feelings inside of this might take her agency away from her. Her decision etc. i'm interested to see where this goes and how you handle it mate as it's certainly one that i think will really help the climax of the story.
Realistically, there is no if, only when. All types of spinocerebellar ataxia are degenerative, there is no real treatment and it almost always results in an early deathBlackmambauk wrote: ↑Wed May 27, 2020 9:06 am if and when Saki's condition deteriorates to the point that she may need someone to make medical decisions for her
Eurobeatjester wrote: ↑Thu Sep 27, 2018 5:33 am No matter how bad things get, no matter how many things you lose control over, suicide is the one thing you still have control over.
It's not the idea of killing yourself that you take comfort in, it's the sense of agency the ability to make a choice gives.
Thanks for the patience everyone!
The last few months have bee, well, hard. The COVID situation and lockdown wiped out my streams of income save for one very sporadic one, and I ended up moving to a new place before it happened. I've been dealing with the absolute worst depression of my life the past few months. I'm an extreme extrovert in real life and not being able to go to the events and conventions I usually do, to not being able to go to the makerspaces I spend a few days a week at, to finally not being able to see family and friends because of the situation has, well...it's shattered me. Even when I was homeless the few years before I started writing this story, I was never as depressed as I've been the last few months, and what's worse, I was losing my ability to even care and want to improve my situation.
It finally got to the point where I reached out for help in a hail mary, and I've been on antidepressants and manic-depressive medications for a few months now. The first month and a half were even worse as my body was adjusting to them. I hadn't written anything in months leading up to them except for a paragraph here or there but when the first batch of medication started working, it absolutely killed my creative drive. It stopped the depression from getting worse, but it stayed constant and the loss of creative energy was something I couldn't deal with. My medications were adjusted once they had a baseline to work with, and I'm starting to feel creative again. I still need a lot of work and time and I know I won't be back to normal until the rest of the world is, but I'm hanging in there with the help of my friends. You all know who you are!
Please, if you're struggling, seek help. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I feel like I've been slowly getting my life back because I did.
Okay, time to get off the soapbox and talk about the chapter itself!
This chapter was originally supposed to be shorter, but as I wrote it, it expanded. It was supposed to be the first half of a two-parter but at 10k words, I think it's large enough to warrant its own The next chapter shouldn't take as long and I'm hoping to have it done by Thanksgiving!
The title of this chapter comes from the song "If You Could Only See" by Tonic.
Feedback and comments greatly appreciated as always. I hope you enjoy!
Act 4: Liftoff
Scene 10: If You Could Only See
“You were right. The coffee is good here,” my father says.
“I told you. I’m going to miss it,” I answer.
“Maybe I should see if I can buy a bag or two of it.”
The three of us are seated at a table at Nagina, a few minutes after eleven. My folks had left early this morning to make the drive up to Sendai, and after picking me up from Yamaku had headed down for the city so all three of us could eat breakfast together. I suggested the cafe, and it sure didn’t disappoint.
“What time should we be there for the recital?” my mother asks, checking her watch.
“It starts at five. You’re still sure you want to go, right? You said you wanted to see the city…”
“Of course! We can see everything we need to in the next few hours. We didn’t get a chance the last time we came up.”
Ah, the last time...which would have been the first time. Hardly surprising, considering the entire day was taken up with paperwork, introductions, and me in a foul mood. They’ve never come up to Sendai or Yamaku since then, and why would they? It was always easier for me to go back down to visit the few times I’ve been able to.
Truth be told, it’s kind of helped with the various emotions in my mind as of late, even before the conversation yesterday with Noriko. There’s always been a slight unease I have whenever I go back, but I’m surprised that I feel the same way this morning. I think that living away from my parents has helped me a lot in ways I didn’t think it would. I’m not just doing better than I was before I came to the school, but I’ve also had more independence than I ever would have had if I stayed home - with or without my arrhythmia. It’s been easy to compartmentalize that feeling, and the separation and distance is a huge part of it.
In some ways, my heart attack was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I still find it ironic to think about it that way, but with everything I’ve experienced since that day, it’s a strange kind of truth.
My father continues, taking another sip. “I think we were just going to walk around and check out the downtown area. Besides, we both want to see your friends play, after you’ve told us so much about them.”
“I’ll make sure to save you a few seats near the front.”
“They won’t mind?”
I laugh. “The music teacher already offered. It’s not a problem.”
“Maybe you can introduce us afterwards. The only staff we ever met was the dean, the Nurse, and your homeroom teacher. We’d like to meet Chisato too.”
“Where was the hotel where you were staying?”
“Closer. It’s in the town. We’ll check in on the way to the school tonight.”
“Do you think we might be able to do this again, say, tomorrow afternoon after graduation? Bring your girlfriend along perhaps?” my mother asks.
“I’m, uh, not sure what she’s doing tomorrow after the graduation ceremony,” I answer. “She’s getting lunch with her family right now, so I don’t know if they have plans tomorrow night.”
“It’s just an idea. If she stays another day or two, you don’t have to come back with us tomorrow night.”
I frown. I hadn’t even thought of that, but the second I do I realize it’s probably not going to be happening. Saki’s already packed up almost everything, including her sheets and covers since she’s been staying with me since I got back. They might leave right after graduation, but...
“Maybe tomorrow night, with how long it takes to get to Osaka. They might be spending one more night here, so…”
I sigh, trying not to let it affect me as much as it does, but I fail almost instantly.
“We enjoyed having her over, son.” my mother says, putting a hand on my shoulder. “She’s welcome to come visit any time.”
“I know that. I just wish there was something-”
I cut myself off and shake my head, deep in thought.
“Is everything okay?” she asks, the corners of her mouth pulling down into a concerned frown.
“Sorry. I’m just...thinking of something that might be crazy.”
As soon as those words leave my mouth, I groan internally.
My father raises an eyebrow. “What’s that?”
I sigh again. “You’re going to think it’s stupid.”
“If it’s bugging you so much that you’re like this, then it’s important.”
I nod and bite my lip for a moment. “Dad, you were twenty-two when you married mom, right?”
My parents both look at each other, and it only takes a half second before they understand the meaning of the question. My mother’s brow raises with slight astonishment, while my father leans back in his chair with steepled fingers. He remains deep in thought for a moment, making me nervous.
Eventually though, he gives a small, wry smirk. “Yes. I was.”
“That’s a really big step, don’t you think?” my mother asks, her voice very tentative.
“I told you it sounded crazy, but...there’s more to it than that.”
I try to explain to them as best as I can how Saki’s condition would worsen as she got older. How her brother and father had been at odds because of what was going on. I even tell them about Saki’s day trip to the palliative facility, though I know telling them would probably upset her for more than one reason.
My parents absorb everything I’m throwing at them with looks of attentive concern, but I don’t see surprise on either of their faces until I mention the last part. My mother touches two fingers to her temple, staring at the ground as she remembers something.
“So that’s what was on her mind that morning.”
“I’m sorry?” I ask, confused.
“When I picked her up from the train station that morning, she was very on edge. I thought she was just nervous from meeting me. She relaxed a little when we sat down to eat, and we talked quite a bit.”
“Her ataxia-”
“-yes, she told me. But she didn’t tell me about that.”
I think back to that day, when my mom first told me that they talked. She said Saki didn’t say everything, but she said enough; I never needed or wanted to push that. I give a sigh of self-depreciation.
“She’s scared.”
“How would that work, if you’re coming home or planning to move to Tokyo, and she’s in Osaka?”
I don’t think she’s saying it to be discouraging, but it’s one of a few very large problems that are immediately apparent.
“I don’t know, Mom,” I admit. “I just don’t know.”
My father takes a deep breath. “Well, you’d have a year to figure it out.”
I chuckle before I can stop myself. That’s exactly what Noriko said. “I guess that’s true.”
My mother reaches across the table and places a hand on my arm. “Come back home. If you need to stay for a few months to be able to move to Tokyo and choose a cram school there, then you can. Or maybe there’s some place local. Either way, you’re always welcome. You have enough going on without having to worry about where you live.”
And there it is. My lips pull back into a quick grimace. I resigned myself to this months ago when talking to Saki, but it still leaves a bit of a sour taste. My mother picks up on this.
“What’s wrong?”
(continued...)