Charged Particles and Chaos Theory
It feels like the ride to town is taking forever. I am not feeling particularly excited about this field trip compared to how I felt a few days ago. The events of my argument with Miki still play clear in my mind's eye. I sigh as I look outside, watching the raindrops blur the town into a canvass of grey. Actually, it feels more like grey curtains are closing down, covering everything around me.
I'm in a van with three other people. In front of me are Mr. Mutou and a thin mousy girl whose attention was spent on her laptop. She seems pretty nondescript to me. Maybe it's because she's facing away from me. The fact that she's on her computer makes that plenty obvious. Beside me is a guy who I almost mistook for Kenji. Obviously our meager turnout for this symposium wasn't enough to warrant a bus, so the school had to rent something smaller to accommodate us. We've been riding for three hours in a four-hour trip.
Though I'm staring out the window, I can feel the guy beside me staring right at me. The back of my neck feels itchy. Despite my lack of enthusiasm for this particular day, I give in to curiosity and turn toward him, and the weird feeling boring at the back of my head immediately disappears.
"Can I help you with something?" He really
does like a Kenji clone. Their faces are quite similar, except for the fact that he wears a bowl cut instead of a mat of messy hair, and that his round-framed glasses are significantly thinner than Kenji's. But the major difference between them is height and muscle mass. It looks like this guy was built like a forklift.
"Y-y-you're H-Hisao Nakai aren't y-you?" he stammers. For a buff Kenji, he sure does seem jittery.
"I'm not a celebrity. There's no need to get nervous around me, you know." I cock an eyebrow up.
"W-well, you k-kinda a-are," he mutters. "Mister M-Mutou talks a l-lot ab-bout you. He s-says y-you're his b-b-best student."
"Really now?"
"Y-yeah..." He smiles at me, but then quickly looks apologetic. "Oh j-jeez, I f-forgot to int-troduce m-myself. I'm Kento N-Nobuo f-from 3-4." He offers his hand and I take it. His handshake is firm but friendly. I almost didn't believe that he didn't crush my fingers. "I'm n-not actually n-nervous. I just s-stammer a l-lot because I h-have T-T-Tourettes."
That explains a lot.
"Hisao Nakai. But you already knew that." We both let go and I don't really smile back, but at least talking to this guy is cheering me up a bit.
Kento looks at me curiously. "Something b-bothering y-you?"
I shake my head. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."
He still looks concerned, but I think he's thinking better of pressing the matter. "If y-you say s-so. Anyway, are y-you excited f-for later's s-science symposium?"
I shrug. "We're going there anyway. I'm not really expecting anything much from the field trip." I look back out the window and delve deep into my thoughts. I'm glad Kento is respecting my space. He grows quiet.
I think back to my argument with Miki. Obviously, I regret ever fighting with her. Maybe things would've gone better if I took a different approach with her. I should've talked with her with a level head. Then again, I was a
bit pissed with her when she did her little social experiment involving alcohol and my poor gullible brain. Does me being angry with her make me petty? Maybe. I'm not so sure anymore...
The next thing I notice is that a hand is shaking me from the darkness. I don't remember falling asleep in the van.
"We're here," Kento tells me. I massage my stiff neck and look around. We're practically in the middle of nowhere. Yamaku was situated on a hill surrounded by a small town, but this place makes the town look like a city. I think this place used to be a mine before the people who ran it turned their sights on science.
"Welcome to Kamioka Observatory," Mutou turns to the three of us. I think he's expecting some excited faces. Judging from his reaction, only Kento is stoked. It's not that I'm apathetic to the whole event. I'm just tepid at the moment. I can't say the same for the girl beside Mutou. She's still busy with her laptop. Mutou coughs to himself and slides the door open to let us all out. He gets off first, Kento clambering out after him. The girl closes her laptop and shuffles herself outside. I might as well follow them. I might piss off the rental van driver.
Our transport vanishes in a cloud of dust as I follow our little group into a building. I think I'm walking into a power plant instead of a science observatory. Behind glass double doors, I can see a man eagerly waiting for someone. Once he spotted Mutou, his face explodes into a smile. Mutou sees him and as soon as he gets inside the building, both of them are exchanging hugs.
"Akio!" the man greets. "Haven't seen you in years. Welcome to Kamioka."
"Thanks for having us, Konosuke." Mister Mutou gestures towards us. "These are my students from Yamaku, you know, the ones I told you about? Kids, this is Konosuke Nishida, my old colleague." Kento and I bow respectfully to the man while the girl simply nods in recognition.
"Please, Akio," Nishida cringes. "You're making me feel old." Mutou just smiles awkwardly. I bet he's thinking about how talking about his friend's age will backfire on him.
"So these are the high school students that you decided to mix in with the college ones touring the facility?" Nishida asks. My eyebrow cocks up curiously. I didn't know we were the only high school students attending the symposium. I didn't even know there were
others attending the symposium. It feels weird knowing that you're going to be in a uniform while the rest of the people are either wearing casual attire or lab coats. I peek at Kento and the girl, but they don't seem surprised. I'm sure they've been briefed while I wasn't paying attention.
"These are the ones," Mutou confirms. "I know it might be a bit too early for them to be here, but they've got great potential." For a guy who barely ever smiles, the grin he's wearing makes it look like he's practically beaming. I think he's really excited for us three to be here.
"I'm glad you three could make it," Nishida confides. "This will be a major learning experience for you. Who knows, maybe your future careers will have something to do with particle physics."
"That's a stretch," I quip to myself, "but I guess it wouldn't hurt to learn."
I think Kento overheard me. He nods in agreement while paying close attention to Nishida. "Follow me, kids," the man says, motioning to us.
The girl follows Nishida, followed by Mutou, then Kento, while I tail along slowly. I start wondering why I never got the girl's name.
"Hey," I whisper to Kento after jogging after him, and point at our third student with a thumb. "Who's she?"
"Oh h-her?" he stammers. "She's M-Mei Kawanami, my classmate. She's a w-wizard with computers a-and Mutou's s-second top Physics s-student in the s-school." She probably heard her name being called, since her head slightly faces towards us, out of instinct maybe. She's pretty; long mahogany hair, pale skin, small frame, and in the Yamaku uniform with some nice dark stockings to complement her smooth legs. I'm a bit bewildered as to why I never noticed how she looked in the first place. With looks like that, and brains now that Kento's mentioned it, I could've sworn I'd take note of her straight away.
I scratch my head. "Second? Who's the first?"
"Y-you mean you didn't know?" Kento stares at me like I've been hiding under a rock for years. "You a-are!"
I'm usually not the type to brag. Despite that, I'm was a bit surprised by the news and I couldn't help but smile. I nod slightly, then shrug as I attempt to hide my enthusiasm.
We are led by Mutou's friend into a small lecture hall. The room is crowded, probably with the university students that Nishida was talking about earlier. I think we're a few minutes late for the actual chalk talk. Though from the looks of things, the lecturer probably still isn't around.
Nishida motions us to sit in the second row where we could clearly see the podium. Mutou lets us sit in the middle of the row while he sits by the aisle. Maybe it's his way of making sure that all three of us would stay put and pay attention, but I don't see the point. I'm willing to bet we're all interested in the upcoming lecture anyway. As I sit and wait for the lecturer, I blink away my surprise when I see that Nishida is, in fact, the lecturer.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," he begins. "Welcome to Kamioka Observatory. It isn't everyday that we open our doors to progeny, to those who hunger for knowledge in a world filled with questions. In here, we lead Japan's studies in particle physics, especially the studies on neutrino astronomy and neutrino oscillation. A kilometer below us is a Cerenkov detector, from which stemmed our first experiment on proton decay. We even have particle accelerators underground! But let's skip the flowery introductions and the technical speak as we get to the nitty gritty, shall we?" He rubs his hands together and smiles at the crowd.
"Before we start, does anyone have any questions about Kamioka, particle physics, or anything related at all?" No one from the crowd presents a show of hands. "Anyone?" Nishida repeated.
A reluctant arm slowly climbed above the sea of people. "Yes! You, with the vest."
The guy stood up and rubbed his shoulder. "Umm. Will we actually get to see the particle accelerator in action?"
Nishida grins apologetically. "I'm sorry, but that won't be possible. We'd have to get radiation-protective gear for all of you, and we just don't have enough to go around. Besides, we have an ongoing project that needs the utmost respect if we want it to be completed in time." The questioner shrugs, bows in thanks, then sits back down.
Stemming from the bravery of the first asker, more hands start rising from the crowd. "Ah, more curiosity needs sating? You!" Nishida points to someone over at the back who I can't actually see.
"What notable achievements has this facility done? To be honest I've never actually heard of it until a week ago."
"That's good!" Nishida declares, pointing at the man asking. "I appreciate your honesty. We've recently found out that bosonic particles don't make up the entirety of dark matter. That's one step closer to understanding what composes the mysterious invisible mass that occurs in the deep reaches of space." He claps his hands together. "One more question for the road before we move on to the lecture."
I'm a bit torn between acting impassive and getting the final question for myself and it looks like Kento is contemplating that decision as well, but we both stop as Kawanami raises her slender hand. Even more hands raise up, most already in the air before she even attempted to, but Nishida sets his eyes on her.
"Ah, one of our more special guests wants to ask us a question." The lecturer smiles. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have here among us students from Yamaku Academy, a high school specialized for students who have special needs. These three happen to be the best of the best in the field of science among those who study there. A round of applause for them, please." The crowd claps and a wave of embarrassment floods me. I'm not used to this kind of attention. Apparently, Kento isn't, either. It looks like he's trying to shrink in his seat while attempting a gratifying smile. Our female companion, however, is unfazed; she looks pensive.
"Now, young lady, what is it that you wanted to ask us."
She fishes around the backpack between her knees for a while before pulling out a laptop, the same one that's been on her since the van ride. Flipping it open, she starts tapping in characters on the keyboard. Is she not paying attention to Nishida? Is she trying to waste her question?
A moment later, she looks up at Nishida and sound starts emanating from her computer. It's a robotic female voice, one that sounds similar to those electronic pop stars that are all the rage in Tokyo. "Can you tell us how our lecture for today can apply to everyday life?" The lecturer's eyebrow shoots up, surprised by her question. Without looking at the crowd behind me, I'm sure they're in the same shock as I am judging from how quiet they all are.
It takes a few moments before Nishida actually reacts. Surprisingly, he laughs. "Practical and to the point, eh? I did say a while ago that I appreciated honesty." He claps a few times. "Very good, very good. Well, miss, it just so happens that our lecture for today is about chaos theory. Now, everyone, level with me here." He starts turning his attention to the entire lecture hall for them to listen. "We're going to take up part of our lecture right now, so listen closely."
"Chaos theory is all about taking note of initial conditions and, from those, predicting future conditions that could stem from these. From a theoretical standpoint, if you know the specific details on how something started, whether it's an event or an organic growth, particle physics, magnetics, or anything that is seemingly random, we can anticipate what happens to a certain degree if you're exceptionally good at determining them. Even if future events seem to point to negative outcomes, one will never know how something reaches its finality unless you stick around for it. If it sounds familiar and if it helps you grasp the idea, the layman's term for 'chaos theory' is 'the butterfly effect'.
"In short," he says, smiling, "I guess what I'm trying to say is, stick it out before you make any hasty conclusions about anything in your lives." He shrugs. "I can't believe I'm giving life advice to kids. And I
especially can't believe I used chaos theory to help you." He chuckles. "Was my answer satisfying enough for you, miss?"
Kawanami nods once and gets herself comfortable on her seat.
It's weird how his little lecture intro hits home with how I was feeling about dealing with Miki. I wanted to give up on ever talking to her again. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't trying to break contact with her just because I was angry at her, or because she was angry at me. To be honest, I was scared that she was never going to give me another chance in the first place. Sometimes fear gets you when you don't know what's going to happen if you attempt something.
"For those who didn't get the chance to ask me anything, worry not! I'll give you all a fair chance at the end of today's lecture. So without further ado, let us begin..."
"I n-never knew th-that light acts b-both like a particle and a w-wave," Kento exclaims as we walk back to our van in the cool evening sky. The observatory looks even more deserted in the purple dimness.
"I'm more curious about whether or not the Higgs Boson is real," I reply, sharing his enthusiasm. Despite my original apathy for today's field trip, I managed to at least enjoy the day. It went better than I hoped it would. And I managed to make a friend along the way, too. Kawanami, in the meantime, took down notes on her laptop. I guess that's fine, too.
After some small talk with Kento during the trip back to Yamaku, I reverted to being quiet and staring out at the window admiring the night sky, thinking about the countless neutrinos and other subatomic particles that Kamioka could be observing right now, but I couldn't help but ponder on what Nishida said about chaos theory. I'm actually still a bit torn between patching things up between me and Miki or shying away from her indefinitely. Mutou in front of me is already asleep, and Mei is back to staring at her laptop. I'm starting to think she's a bit antisocial.
I look to my left and I see Kento just staring at the horizon in front of us. I tap his shoulder, and he looks at me bewildered. "You n-needed something H-Hisao?"
"Not really," I reply. "Actually yes, but it's nothing too big of a deal." I shrug.
"Wh-what is it?" he asks as he leans his elbow against an armrest.
"You're pretty good looking," I say bluntly, but I immediately realized that it didn't come out the way I wanted it to sound. Kento flinches and backs away from me. "I didn't mean it like that, I swear! What I meant to say was you looked like the kind of like a guy who's experienced in relationships."
The guy chuckles at me and shrugs. "G-go on. I'll l-let you f-finish."
Things are starting to sound really weird right now. I steer the conversation back to its proper rails.
"Well... Let's say I know a guy who's had this quarrel with the girl he likes. And I mean she's someone that he
really likes. But he isn't sure if she'd want to talk to her again. What should he do?"
He stares at me with the most skeptical look. Suddenly, he's laughing like a maniac, almost rivaling Misha in terms of chuckle volume. I cringe and clean out my ears with my pinkies just in case any ringing starts developing. I worry that Mutou is awake, but apparently he wasn't roused, and we managed to get a dirty look from Mei.
"Oh man," he chortled, wiping a tear off his eye. "I never thought the Scientist would ask m-me for advice. And on love, t-too!" He exhaled.
I frown at him. "The Scientist?"
"Just a nickname," he smiles. "You're the physics g-genius Mutou's always raving about, so it's only f-fitting."
I roll my eyes at him. "Fine, you caught me."
"Don't worry, you're secret's safe with me. And i-if Mei overheard, I'm positive she'll keep her mouth shut. W-won't you Mei?"
A soda can sails through the air and lands squarely on Kento's head. An impressive feat, considering Kawanami wasn't looking at us when she chucked the can. He laughs again and rubs his head.
"Anyway, the thing is, I'm not really b-big on girls." He frowns. "You're pouring your soul out to me, so I m-might as w-well do the c-courtesy of letting s-some baggage out, t-too.
"There's this girl that I like. She's in another c-classroom, and I rarely e-ever g-get to see her, but I ch-cherish the moments that I d-do. You s-see, she reminds m-me of what I u-used to be: someone w-who couldn't stand up f-for himself. I wish I could l-let her s-see what I s-see in her, instead of having her see how sh-she thinks everyone else sees her..."
Kento looks at me intently. "Hisao, h-have you ever thought of s-someone you c-care about r-regularly in the c-course of a day? And y-you stay... uhh... I guess th-the word I'm l-looking for is 'f-faithful' to th-them, even th-though you probably don't h-have any a-actual attachment or obligation t-to them whatsoever?"
I nod. I guess I'm in that situation. I could've fallen for Mei's flooring beauty as soon as I saw her, but I think my subconscious tied itself to someone else. Someone that mattered to me. Miki.
"W-well, if I were you, I wouldn't l-let them go. Y-you should consider yourself lucky. You a-already talked to the one you like, p-probably, and I-I've never even m-managed to do th-the same, much l-less go near h-her. Sh-shameful, r-really." He smiles mournfully.
I let his words sink in, finalizing my decision about my little squabble situation before patting Kento reassuringly on the back. "Thank you. And just so you know, I think you could totally pull off talking to that girl you were talking about."
He stares at his knees. "You r-really think s-so?"
"For a guy who stammers a lot, you're really charismatic and funny. I'm sure you'll get her to like you." I smile encouragingly at him.
Kento looks at me and slowly smiles back. "Thanks H-Hisao."
"No, Kento, thank
you for your advice." I pat him once on the shoulder again. "Now there's something I have to do first thing when we reach Yamaku."
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