Katawa Shoujo Forums

First time reading through this entirely.
I can't expresses how much I've enjoyed reading this so far, considering it's overwhelming adorable factor and personification of the other characters, especially Rin. It truly is a pity its taken me so long to come across your work.
I hope you plan to continue with this project, I'm eager to see Lilly's return and kinda, sorta praying Suzu makes a cameo too :3
Anyway, kudos.

Now for the annoying part...
My only issue with the story is the dream sequence, and reading the comments I see its been quite an issue to get it to what it is now.
My issue with the dream sequence is its just too damn long and although most dreams making little sense, I was kinda hoping I would find some insight into Haiso's subconscious mindset concerning his relationship... Then again, I've never read Dune so I may just be the minority who didn't see a context.
Please, please, please, don't fret with the dream sequence though! It's better to learn from it than to change it in my opinion, besides, I'm fairly sure my opinion of it is as solid as rippling water.

Hello good sir!

First of all, thanks for the kind words! These always warm me heart summat fierce, so they do.

The Characterization of Rin, well, it helps that I only do small snippets with her, I honestly don't know how I would fare with a sustained dialogue. Though there may or may not (take it literally, I still have no idea) be some of that down the road.

You'll see the Return of the Lilly, but I have no plan as of yet for a Suzu appearance. Wouldn't rule that out though...Hmmmm...that could actually... hmmmmmmmmmm...we'll see. Not in the next chapter, but we'll see.

I hear your complaints about the dream sequence. To be honest this was the kind of scene I thought was a bad idea halfway through writing it, but simply didn't want to scrap, because I enjoyed writing it and I especially enjoyed writing the scenery of it. Mind you, Dune provides no context except 'It happens in a desert' and 'there are sandworms'.
I thought I did give some insight, however faint, of how Hisao viewed his relationship through the sliding and underground scenes. Precisely, the utter lack of condescension or pedestal-putting, seeing Hanako strictly as an equal, though an equal not as clumsy as he view himself to be.
But uhm, I agree, the whole thing could have used some more work.

Writing Rin is just plain hard.

I've dabbled with it, and I think I did okay, but it's hard to keep any kind of focus when the person you're writing is prone to just start babbling about stuff that's only half-related to the story - it can make you lose track of what you're writing. I imagine Aura spent some late nights trying not to get lost.

What scares me is I have a whole big section coming up to write from Rin's perspective, and I'll have to get inside her head, so to speak. I'm lucky enough to be using a third-person voice for it, but still... reigning in the randomness enough to make it flow without losing the Rin-y-ness will be difficult.

Anyway, I've been supporting this for a while, and I'm hoping to see an update soon.

Oh, yeah, uh, about that

Announcement Time :

Lately I've been encountering two completely unrelated problems that slow down the pace of my writing. First, I'm preparing for oral examinations occuring in July (17-18-19, specifically, so as a side note, I'll be completely unreachable from the 16th to the 19th included) and although I've got a solid grasp of the material I'll be tested on, I can't really afford to slack off.
Second, this past week has proven to be an inspiration dead-zone for me, and I have much trouble with the scene I'm currently writing. Not much progress has been made. Worry not, I'm ramming my feeble narrative talent on it, and I'll get through eventually, but, well, slowly.

So don't expect the update to come Real Soon Now. That ain't happening.

Whether the chapter will be out before the 16th, I know not. But I doubt it. Don't hold your breath. Or do, if you can do that for an unhealthily long time.

One thing I was wondering (and please don't take this as a slam, more like food for thought)...how realistic is Emi as a friend to Hanako? They're kind of an unlikely coupling since:

- Emi and Hanako have no shared interests; Hanako's a slightly nerdish bookworm who probably skips PE all the time if she's not just exempt from it like Hisao is and Emi's...probably not the most studious person in the world who gets upset when not being able to run for even a single day. They do have somewhat of a similar past trauma-wise, but since neither will share that kind of information with anyone who's not sleeping with them, they're unlikely to know that about the other.

- Unless Hisao ends up on her route, Emi still has her massive PTSD-related commitment issues. She admits to Hisao on her route that she doesn't really have any close friends since she won't let other people get close to her. She chatters (A LOT) with other people, but doesn't actually hang out with them. Rin's an exception...since Rin's stuck in her own world most of the time and because of that unable to get truly close to Emi, Rin probably feels safe to her. I realize Hanako needed a foil for your story to work, but taking other girls out on the town isn't something I could easily see Emi doing.

Well I finally sat down to read through this and I'm enjoying it quite a bit so far, with my favorite part so far having been Emi using the phrase "queen of footjobs". I was in tears.

Well. Hi.

@The one the only Guest Poster.
I always felt Emi and Hanako would get along just because they would both go for a 'no questions asked' policy. That and both have a knack for cooking. But other than that, having shared interests isn't a required factor for friendship, although it certainly helps. Hell, many people I call friends are just classmates I happen to get along with.
As for both of them going out for shopping, let us agree to disagree. I feel Emi would still want to go out with friends, and you don't. We just paint the same character in a different light.
Oh, and don't worry, I haven't forgotten Emi's issues.

@Zaknafein
*bows* thank you sir, I truly am glad you were able to enjoy my writings. More to come soon(tm).

Fair enough. It's hard to objectively debate other people's fanon.

Is this still being worked on or no?

Affirmative sir! Although at a slower pace. It's still far from completed, but I'm making progress. From times to times. When I have the motivation.

This fanfic is great! I really enjoyed reading it.
Although the choice of movie (Princess Mononoke) and the word "slaloming" made me wonder... Are you Swedish?
Princess Mononoke was finally showed in Swedish cinemas last autumn, due to it recieving Swedish subtitles. And "slaloming" seems to be a rather unusual word to many of the readers. However, in Sweden (and Norway) it's a very commonly used word (The origin is Norwegian ^^).

Hacksorus wrote:Yes, I know, you were both bullied. The difference is, Hanako had her parents, her only living relatives, killed in a house fire at a young age. Her mother gave her life to protect her, and she blames herself. She has her scars to remind her of this every single day. That tends to eat at someone's self esteem.

Harry Potter, anyone?

Helbereth wrote:As for why she's running through the halls of the dorm in a towel, that ones up in the air. The running makes sense for Emi, but... in a towel? Isn't that asking for trouble?

She'd just showered, and she was in the girls' dormitory.

And "slaloming" seems to be a rather unusual word to many of the readers. However, in Sweden (and Norway) it's a very commonly used word (The origin is Norwegian ^^).

Slalom is a perfectly common word in any country that participates in alpine skiing.

Too bad this fanfic seemed to stop being worked on. After a google search I found it and I got really interested in it- it's a great story! Oh well. *goes off to lurk for more fanfic*

Ascended Flutist wrote:Dune Messiah

[...]
We quickly become immersed in the vast picture of Herbert's universe. We are intrigued by the artful plots of its different powers, confused by humanity of every characters, constantly refusing to fit in the usual "good" and "evil" frames. We are saddened by the fate of Muad'dib, whose sole option to prevent the exctinction of humanity was to commit wholesale genocide, and live with the consequences. We are intrigued by the face-danser Scytale, commissioned to kill Muad'dib but oddly reluctant in doing so.

...and we ask ourselves if Lilly would have accepted Tleilaxu eyes.

Somebody draw her with those!

Anyway. Really liking this fic. And I don't mind the extent to which it's been slice-of-life-y fluff. Not everything has to be drama and conflict to be enjoyable to read. Especially coming to it directly from Hanako's route, which ended rather abruptly and with limited payoff in happiness after all that pain, this is just pleasant to read.

This was great, a few bumps here and there, but I like your creativity with the Elder Scrolls font and I'm sad to see this hasn't been updated for a while; regardless, thanks for the good read.