[[Tell Hanako we're sorry we couldn't help.] Hicchan is asking if there's anything we'd like him to do for us.]
[No, let him be. He's better off keeping Hanako calm if she's that concerned.]
Of course, we're ahead of things thanks to Hisao's recent help. I should thank him for giving me the chance to sleep in this morning.
[[That's okay, Hicchan. You enjoy your time with Hanako, and we'll give you a rain check on helping.]]
Misha's still pushing them together, I see. Since it's what my cousin wants, there's no need for me to judge further. |Misha picks the phone up off the table and puts it back in her bag.| [So they're still looking for Lilly, too? That's interesting. Have you seen anything in the inbox about her leaving Yamaku?]
[No, I haven't. Where do you think she is, Shicchan?]
If I knew that, I wouldn't be asking you. [I have a few ideas, but there's no sense in speculating now. Since our work has been interrupted anyway, what would you like to do for lunch?]
[Why don't we just go to the cafeteria?]
|My shoulders slump at the thought.|
I appreciate what you're trying to do, Misha, staying on campus to keep tabs on things. Akira's call must have disturbed you more than it did me. After all, Lilly's quite capable of taking care of herself. Still, we have been going to The Shanghai quite a bit more than we should recently, so staying here couldn't hurt. [If that's what you want, that's fine with me.]
[Okay, then! Let's go!]
|Misha and I leave the dormitory.|
I expect Misha is also hoping to run into Hanako. It wouldn't be a bad idea to compare notes on the situation, so perhaps slowing down a bit is in order. There's no real rush to eat cafeteria food right now, anyway. |We arrive at the cafeteria. Nothing out of the ordinary among the students.|
The usual assortment of mediocrity today. There's never any of the better offerings during the break, and certainly nothing worth competing for. I'll just grab something that doesn't look too inedible.
|As we're getting our lunch, Kamisaka walks in.|
I need to find out how far he's gotten on that paperwork, especially if Lilly's going to take the class representative job back. If luck is with me, then he won't even have started on it. |Misha waves to Kamisaka in her usual manner.|
Hm, that's odd. He didn't even flinch when Misha greeted him. I doubt that roller of his makes THAT much noise.
|Misha turns back to me and puts her tray down. I put mine down as well.| ['Hi.' That's all he said. Actually, it was more like a grunt than a word. He looks really sad; should we invite him to join us?]
Unlike Hisao or Lilly, Kamisaka isn't at all motivated by appealing to his sense of responsibility. Even if my cousin doesn't step in, I can take solace in the fact that I'll only have to deal with him for half a year. [If I believed at all that he would, maybe. Given his obvious distaste for my company, he'd likely be happier by himself.]
[I don't think so, Shicchan...]
[If you'd like to join him yourself, go ahead. I'm going back to the council room.]
|I pick my tray up. Misha glances back at Kamisaka with a troubled look.| [No, that's fine. I'll come with you.] |She picks up her tray and follows me as I turn around and start walking.|
Misha, if you want to talk to him, talk to him. He honestly probably could use the company -- just not mine. I wish you would trust your instincts with people more. They're certainly better than mine. |We arrive at the Student Council office. I open the door, and lunch commences.|
As expected, the food is moderately edible. |Misha gets up and goes over to the door. She opens it, and it's Hanako.|
Didn't we already tell her there's nothing else we can do?
[Hanako wants to know if we could make sure Lilly's not in her room. Shouldn't we, Shicchan? Just to make sure nothing happened to her in there?]
Hm, I do still have the key to her room, which I was intending to turn in to the administration this afternoon. It's highly irregular to use it for this purpose, but so is my cousin not returning to her room overnight. If it would help put my classmate's mind at ease, perhaps I can bend things this time. Besides, if there is something wrong with Lilly, I'd bear some responsibility for it, wouldn't I? If pushing her to reconcile with Hisao led anywhere...
[All right, Misha. We'll go around to Lilly's room, just to be sure. If there's no answer, I have the key to the room, so we can have a look.]
[Okay!] |Misha turns to face Hanako.| [Shicchan says she'll do it. [Thank you.]]
|I smile benevolently at Hanako.|
I think she looks relieved, although it's hard to get a good look at her face. |I leave the council room, Misha and Hanako trailing behind, and set off back to the dormitory.|
I should have offered to do this myself when Hisao called earlier. As always, my trip home has put my thoughts out of order, and I've been slacking in my responsibilities to the 3-3s. It won't be long before the next wave of council work is upon us, and my ability to check in on them will be limited.
Then again, not many of them stuck around for the break, so it shouldn't be too hard. This place always feels so empty this time of year...there I go, getting sentimental again. I suppose I'm entitled, though, since this is the last summer break I'll spend here. This is the last year I'll be the big fish in this small pond, so I'll be working that much harder to devour the competition next year.
We're past the halfway point of the break now, too. Students will start coming back in a few days, and my own days as the Student Council president will be ending not too long after that. I only wish more people were interested in being our successors, although at least Kobayakawa and her friend seem like they'll be running.
|On the way up the stairs, we pass an underclassman – I believe her name is Yoshimura – who exchanges some pleasantries with Hanako.|
She's so much different than the girl who could barely talk to us when she came looking for a replacement ID card a few weeks ago. |We reach the door to Lilly's room.|
Right now, though, I wish she would calm down, as I can feel
her fretting next to me. [You should probably try knocking again before we do this.]
|Hanako nods in response, and hesitantly knocks on the door. A moment later, Misha impatiently steps up next to her and knocks more vigorously, causing Hanako to cringe.| [I don't hear anything in there, Shicchan. I guess you'd better open the door.]
Fine, if that's the way it has to be. [Let's get this over with so we can get back to work.] |I produce the key and open the door. The room is nearly empty except for the standard furniture.|
Hm, there's barely any sign that she was here at all. |I look into the closet.|
Uniforms are still there. I hope I didn't bring them up here for nothing. Is that a yukata? |I turn around to see Hanako picking up a wooden box from the nightstand.|
['Hisao gave this to Lilly, before they started dating.'] |I can see Hanako faltering, and Misha's doing her best as usual.| ['She used to fall asleep to it every night before she left for Scotland. If she left this behind, she must want to forget Hisao. Maybe she wants to forget me, too.' I don't think so, Hanako.]
[Tell Hanako that I agree with you. She means far too much to my cousin.]
So that's the music box Akira mentioned. It looks so ordinary from the outside, but she said it was very special to Lilly. Just like her, too – I'd want my first gift from a boyfriend to be something more practical. Admittedly, though, something to help oneself get to sleep is
practical, so not so poorly thought-out after all.
I'm getting off track, though. What Hanako says makes sense: if she did
want to forget Hisao, she would
have left that behind. That, combined with the fact that all her clothes and her luggage are gone, means she definitely intended to stay away for a while. Since she apparently didn't tell anyone
she was leaving, including the administration, she likely hasn't left permanently
. She might be procrastinating – that would be just like her to do – but I doubt it.
The question, then, is: where would she have gone? She's likely staying with someone close to her, since she's not the type to impose for any length of time. She can't have gone to Father's house, or I'd have heard about it. The same is true of Uncle Hiro's parents' home. Hideaki said they sold the house in Hokkaido, so that rules that out as well. She's not particularly close to anyone here other than Hanako and Hisao, and I don't think she keeps in touch with anyone from junior high. You made this quite the challenge for me, didn't you, cousin?
Wait...or did you?
There's only one place she could be, isn't there? It just makes too much sense not to be right, no matter how much I might wish it was wrong. It's strange that Akira didn't think of it, but it was well past midnight when she called me, so perhaps she wasn't thinking clearly. I can't ask anyone else to go, so if everyone's minds are to be put at ease, I'll have to go myself. |I snap my fingers to get Misha's attention.|
[What is it, Shicchan? You look pale all of a sudden. Are you all right?]
[Not particularly. I'm fairly sure I know where Lilly is, but it's somewhere I'd rather not go.]
[Do you want me to come with you?]
[I'm not sure that would be wise. Given that Lilly's not in the best frame of mind right now, she may not even wish to see me. Having both of us there might be too much. Besides, I'll need you here in case I need anything once I'm there.]
[It must be somewhere close by, then?] |Misha thinks, then her face quickly brightens.| [Oh! I'll bet I know where Lilly is!]
|I smile at her.| [I'll bet you do, too. Now you know why I'd rather go by myself. Having you along would be a distraction for everybody.]
[Aw...you're right, Shicchan. It's too bad, because I'd like to visit her again. Maybe soon?]
[Maybe.]
It would be against my better judgment, though. [Hanako seems pretty upset, so you might want to keep an eye on her. Just don't tell her where I've gone until we know for sure Lilly's there.]
[Okay!] |Misha turns to Hanako and tells her I'm going to check on something, then turns back to me.|
[Misha, could you call a taxi for me? I don't think the bus runs out that far, and this would be faster anyway.]
[Of course! I have the address in my book and everything!]
|I smile at her.| [I should have known. I'm going to go down to the front gate and wait. See you later.]
[Right right, see you later, then! Say hello to both of them for me!]
[I will.] |Misha dashes off, and I walk down to the front gate.|
At least I have some time to prepare myself for this, but I'm not sure any amount would be enough. I'd almost prefer Lilly had gone to Saitama. |I sit down on one of the benches.|
I can't even meditate, because I'd miss the taxi. Oh, never mind, there it is already. So much for preparing myself.
|I hand the driver the address, and he pulls away.|
There isn't much traffic, at least, so it shouldn't take more than twenty minutes, unless...no, don't make THAT turn! Ugh, okay, so now half an hour. Through the city. Someone was paying attention when I thought about wanting more time to prepare. I was kidding! Really!
|The cab wends its way through the streets of Sendai for the remainder of the unnecessary time before we arrive at our destination.|
At least he brought me to the right place without any other wrong turns. |I hand the driver a 5000-yen note.|
That's a bigger tip than you deserve. You're lucky I'm not inclined to haggle right now.
|I get out of the car and walk to the front door. I press the intercom button, and it lights up.|
Well, now I just need to wait for her to realize it's me. |The door opens, and the face I expected to see is behind it, already smiling broadly.|
She still looks like she hasn't aged a day, either. Damn her anyway.
[Good evening, mother.]
[Hello, Shicchan.]
Must she? [It's good to see you. As always, it has been too long.]
|I do my best to refrain from rolling my eyes.| [May I come in?]
[Of course, my apologies.] |Mother steps aside to allow me into the house.| [Did you come from school? Why didn't you just text me? I could have come and picked you up. The traffic isn't too bad at this time of day.]
[It wasn't necessary, mother.]
[I know, you don't like using your phone. I wish you would, or at least send me an e-mail once in a while. I hardly ever hear from you.]
I swear, I'm watching a recording of the same conversation we had three months ago. [My studies and club work keep me very busy.]
[I see your brother all the time, and he has to come here by train.]
[Of course you did. He could follow Akira around like a lost puppy here. Now that she's in Scotland, he's got nobody upon whom to bestow his favor here in Sendai, so you probably won't see him again until the spring.]
|Mother shakes her head, then stops and looks up at me. Suddenly she lunges at me and wraps her arms around me.|
I don't know why I'm surprised by this, but then that's why I hate not being prepared. I kick myself for not telling Misha to wait an hour before calling the cab, but I was too impatient and wanted this to be over sooner. |Just as I'm about to awkwardly return the gesture, she lets go. This leads even more heat to rise to my cheeks.|
[Well, at least you're here now, and I'm glad to see you.] |Mother sighs visibly.| [Sadly, I know you're not here to see me. I've been expecting you since the moment your cousin arrived here yesterday.]
[So Lilly is here?]
[Yes, she is. I don't think she was expecting you quite so soon, but I knew otherwise.]
[I see.]
I don't mention that, since I wasn't looking for Lilly, it probably would
have been some time before I came here without the prodding of our mutual friends. It's best to humor her for the moment.
[Where's your friend who translates for you? You two seemed quite close the last time you were here.]
That phrasing gives me the shivers. She's bound and determined not to let my blush fade, isn't she? I don't doubt that mother picked up on Misha's feelings for me, but having her thinking that I return them would be awkward. Congratulations to me for having the foresight to tell her to stay behind. [Misha's at school, and she asked me to greet you for her. I didn't need her today, and I monopolize enough of her time as it is.]
[I think I may have missed a word or two there. I don't get enough practice, you know.] |This time I don't hold back, rolling my eyes at my mother's chiding.| [Tell me, does she still wear that shirt she borrowed from me?]
[All the time, mother. I know it was supposed to be a joke of some kind, but it escapes me.]
Mother's laughing, so apparently the joke was on
me somehow. If I don't think about it, then, I can't be embarrassed further. |Mother walks into the kitchen. I look around the house as I follow her.|
Everything is so...Western, but that's nothing new. Even the television is turned to an English-language news channel – although at least it's the BBC, so I suppose that might be for Lilly's benefit. Then, there's the overwhelming smell of coffee. Well, the house still suits her, even if I don't recognize a single piece of furniture and décor that was here in April. It never fails to give me an intense feeling of not belonging. That could still just be Mother, though.
|Mother pours herself a cup from the coffee pot.| [Before I tell your cousin that you're here, would you like something to eat?]
[No, thank you, mother. I just finished lunch.]
[Then maybe you can at least sit down and humor this old lady with some small talk.]
Now
she decides to be formal? [What would you have me say?]
[Anything! What's going on in your life? I hear more about you from your brother than I do from you. Of course, I hear more about Akira than I do about you, too.]
That doesn't surprise me a bit. The pest needs to find someone his own age rather than chase one who's nearly twice that. [Nothing's changed since the last time we talked, especially my brother. I presume you know he's still wearing the clothes you meant for me.]
|Mother laughs.| [Yes, I know. He was here to see Lilly off for her permanent return to Scotland that turned out not to be so permanent, and he was wearing them then. So, if nothing else has changed, that means you still don't have a boyfriend. What a shame.]
That one's universal, at least. [I don't have time for that. With only two people on the Student Council, there's a lot of work to be done. Studying for college exams takes up any other time I might have.]
[I know. I'm proud of what you've done, even if I'm not as proud of how you got there.]
I don't need to be reminded of that. I know of one easy way to change the subject, though. [So how's your girlfriend?]
|Mother smiles broadly.| [Thank you for asking. Juliane's doing quite well. She left for Montreal yesterday to promote her designs. She'll be disappointed that she missed you again.]
[Are you still thinking about moving there?]
|Mother's smile slips slightly.| [We're still discussing it.] |She gets up and brings her coffee mug to the sink and rinses it out.| [Despite everything that's happened, I still have a hard time with the idea of leaving Japan. I barely see you as it is, and I don't know when I'd see you or your brother if we left.]
[Mother...]
She's getting herself worked up about this already. This always happens, and it's not that I don't sympathize with it, but I have a different goal today.
[It was bad enough when your father was the obstacle in our path, but even now...] |Mother looks over at me, sadness in her eyes.| [Is it still that much of an embarrassment?]
I remain still, not even knowing how to answer that without starting another fight. My mother's eyes are locked on mine, and I can feel the pleading from them. I just wish I could think about something other than the rage welling up over her departure, and the sense of her challenging me not to look away. [I'm embarrassed, mother, but not by that. I'm embarrassed that I brought up this topic, because I'm not ready to discuss it.]
|For a time that feels stretched out too thin to be real, my mother continues to hold my gaze. Then, even more maddeningly, she smiles.| [You're right, Shicchan. This should be a joyful occasion. Despite your insistence otherwise, something has changed: you're actually here to talk to your cousin. She said you'd even had some civil conversations recently.]
I feel like I can finally breathe now. [Is that so unusual?]
Well, of course it is. I just won't admit that to her
.
[It shouldn't be, and maybe now it won't be.] |Mother comes out from behind the kitchen island and gestures down the hallway. [She's in the guest bedroom. Last time I checked, she was listening to a book.]
[Thank you.] |I walk down the hall, checking back once to make sure my mother isn't following. Lilly is sitting on the bed, her back against the headboard and ear buds firmly in place. I place one of my hands on hers, startling her slightly.|
I wonder if she dozed off. <Good afternoon, cousin.>
|Lilly slowly draws herself to a sitting position, removing the ear buds. She then reaches out to me, and I sit down next to her, taking her hands.| <Good afternoon, Shizune. I must admit, I didn't expect to meet with you so soon.>
<So my mother said. Exactly how long did you intend to be here?>
|Lilly sighs.| <I hadn't given it much thought, but possibly until the beginning of classes.>
<Do you think that will help? Do you think you'll have forgotten about Hisao by then? Or that he'll have forgotten about you?>
I hadn't intended to get confrontational so quickly, but my mother still has my fires stoked. Contrarily, it seems to have the exact opposite effect on Lilly.
<Cousin...he's already forgotten about me. Please, just give up on the idea that we'll ever get back together. It doesn't matter anymore.>
<If it didn't matter, then why are you hiding out here? Why did you run away from him?>
<This isn't just about Hisao. I'm also trying to sort out some things about Hanako.>
<So you're running from both of them. That's no better. They're both looking for you, you know. They're both concerned about you, especially Hanako. You could have at least told them you were leaving. You're usually better at thinking of others than that.>
|Lilly frowns, furrowing her brow.| <Was that sarcasm?>
<Maybe a little. It was also the truth. It may be a sign of weakness, and a poor quality for a leader, but it is who you are, and what you do.> |I feel Lilly shaking gently, and I hope it's from laughter. I don't see any tears, at least.| <So what's thrown you far enough off-balance to make you forget that?>
<I haven't forgotten!>
That must have gotten under her skin, since she nearly broke mine with those strokes. |Lilly backs away for a moment before gently taking my hand again.| <I'm sorry, cousin.>
Don't be sorry. I'm glad to see you haven't given up entirely. <The main reason I left is because I needed time to myself, to think about my situation, about everything that's happened recently.>
<I expected as much. If you don't want to talk about it, I understand.>
<No, I think it might help, actually. I don't really have anyone else here in Japan, and I can't keep depending on my sister at times like this.>
That makes me wince a bit. I wonder what happened to cause her to think like that. Before I can ask, Lilly starts signing again. <Since you seem most interested in it, I'll start with Hisao. The day after you came to my room, he and I went to The Shanghai to talk. After we spoke, I had allowed myself to wonder what might happen, but it only served to confirm what I already knew. Even so, having it confirmed face-to-face still hurt.>
|I wait to see if she's going to say any more, but she doesn't.| <So you lost, didn't you?>
<Cousin, I'd already lost even before I came back, and I have no one to blame for that but myself.>
<That's so like you, willing to take everyone else's share of the blame on top of your own. I'm willing to bet that your parents share in that blame. So does Hisao.> |I pause for a moment.| <Perhaps I do, too.>
<No, it's much simpler than that. The root of it all was the decisions I made: not to tell Hisao of the summons, to leave for Scotland in response to it, to...> |Lilly withdraws her hands from mine again, and I see her taking several deep breaths before taking them back.| <...to believe that Hisao had given up on us, when in the end the one who gave up was me. By the time I realized the mistakes I made, the prophecy had fulfilled itself.>
<I don't understand. You...chose...to respond to the summons?>
|Lilly takes another deep breath, and the look on her face grows even darker.| <Of course you wouldn't know.>
Lilly's become still all of a sudden. What is she thinking? <How much do you know about what happened?>
<Only what your sister shared with my brother. My father wasn't inclined to explain things, although he made it abundantly clear that he approved of you leaving.> |Lilly's brow furrows in thought.|
She's considering how much she can allow herself to confide in me. That she even needs to think about it shows how much has changed since we started high school. Before that, even when nobody understood either of us, we understood each other, but somehow that got lost along the way. This isn't about being class representative and Student Council president anymore. No matter how she felt about our quarrels, I hope she remembers that none of it was personal
. This is about family. This is as personal as it gets.
<Yes, I could have refused, because unlike here in Japan, I would be an adult in Scotland. That was what my parents hoped for, that I would refuse to come back. They wanted me to remain here all along.>
My cousin's face is barren of emotion, and her strokes are the same. Just when I thought I couldn't understand her parents any less, this is what I'm told. Frustration with one's parents...this is an emotion I understand all too well. I never expected to feel it from Lilly, and my own ire starts to rise again.
<Didn't want you to come? Ridiculous! What was the point of it all if that was the case?>
<My parents, my mother in particular, thought I would remain here, because of my life here.>
<Because of Hisao?> |Lilly doesn't move her hands, but simply nods.| <I can't say I've ever truly understood the Satou side of our family. Not even my own mother, when it comes down to it.>
Even if they were more accepting of me than the Hakamichis. <Aunt Sorcha is even more of an enigma to me.>
<I don't think I understand them anymore, either. Maybe I never did, but I always wanted to, because I was supposed to. I'd hoped that by going back and reconciling with my family, that we might all understand each other again. I thought it was what they would want, too. Isn't that how it's supposed to be?>
<It is, isn't it? That explains why my father approved. You really are the daughter he wished he'd had.>
|Through the pained expression on her face, Lilly begins to laugh.| <And you wonder why our parents don't get along?> |She shakes her head, and she looks very tired now.| <I've been a fool, cousin. Nothing I've done these past few weeks has turned out as it should. I left because I thought Hisao had given up on me, and because I thought it was the right thing to do for my family, but I was wrong about both. Then, coming back here seems like it's only made things worse. I thought that there were people here that needed me, but...maybe nobody needs me anymore.>
Oh, that tears it. <Needs you?
Needs you? Cousin,
everyone needs you. You're one of the most intelligent, capable people I know. You could be doing so much for your school, and for society. You...>
Damn it, that line of argument isn't going to work on Lilly, is it? I need to appeal to her in another way...
|Before I can begin again, Lilly starts talking. She's smiling, but she still looks sad.| <Cousin, do you remember when I became class representative last year? It wasn't because I wanted the job, but because nobody else would take it I accepted the responsibility. Once I did, I enjoyed the job, even if I didn't do it the way you wanted me to do it.> |I smile myself at that. She's starting to sound a little like her old self.| <Thinking of others is who I am, and what I do – you said so yourself. That was part of what drew me to Hisao, too. He just seemed so lost when he first arrived at Yamaku, and I could help someone who didn't
expect me to help. I thought it would also help Hanako, because just spending time with me wasn't doing much to draw her out.>
<His arrival did have that effect on people. It was like he was just crying out for someone to take him in. Ibarazaki was awfully keen on getting him to run with her, too. I suppose even I wasn't immune to it, trying to bring him on board the Student Council as I was.>
<You tried that with everyone, though. It might have worked, too, had you not been so aggressive in your pursuit.>
<Maybe, but it was fairly obvious even before the festival that he preferred to spend time with you and Hanako. At least he's been helping us out more recently, so you mustn't have poisoned his mind against me too badly.> |My cousin laughs, and it feels lighter than the last one.|
I hope that's a good sign.
<Well, I suppose I shouldn't complain too much, either. After all, what I'd hoped for Hanako has begun to happen, hasn't it?>
<If you mean being drawn out, then I think it has. A few weeks ago, she could barely talk to me. This morning, she came to us to ask for help in finding out where you were. That's the reason I came. She really does seem desperate to find you and talk to you. I presume that has something to do with whatever it is you need to sort out.>
|Lilly's frown returns.| <So do I, unfortunately. It was the other reason I left, after all. I came here to see if I could find it within myself to fulfill a certain request she made of me. The last time we spoke, Hanako implied that until I could, she didn't want to talk to me.>
I didn't think Hanako had it in her to be so harsh, but then I don't really know Hanako, do I? <Is that why you didn't tell her you were leaving?> |Lilly nods.| <I doubt she meant that, and even if she did I think her feelings must have changed if she's seeking you out now.>
|Lilly shifts uncomfortably.| <How can you be so sure of that?>
|I shake my head and give Lilly's hand a squeeze before continuing.| <You're as stubborn as ever, cousin. I think it's a family curse. Trust me, whatever happened between you and Hanako, she wants to make things right again. Why are you so resistant to the idea?>
|Lilly is still for a moment.| <If you'd been there, and felt the emotions coming from her, you'd understand.> |She takes a deep breath, as though preparing herself for something.| <It also goes back to the other part of what I'd wanted for Hanako.>
<Ah. This is also about Hisao, isn't it?>
<It is indeed. What you said the last time we talked has been bothering me.>
<I may have been wrong about that, too. Hisao and Hanako have been spending a good deal of time together lately. If you've really surrendered in that fight, then I'd much rather see them together than see him with Ibarazaki.>
<Does Emi really concern you that much?>
Why does she keep questioning me about this? <Of course she does. Part of my job as Student Council President is to watch over the students. You should understand that, even if the number of students in your care was smaller. If I approved of Hisao dating Ibarazaki, it would be like you letting Setou walk into a minefield without his glasses or a cane.>
|Lilly laughs, and to my chagrin I find the thought a bit amusing myself.| <I don't think I would go quite that far, cousin. However, I will try my best to share your optimism on the matter.>
<Good. Unfortunately, I should be getting back to Yamaku soon. Will you come back with me?>
<I don't think so, at least not yet.>
<Cousin, whether or not Hanako and Hisao
need you, they certainly
want to have you back. Besides, I'm not going to be able to get those two together by myself, even with Misha's help.>
<I appreciate your efforts, cousin. However, I think I still need a bit more time to myself.>
<Stubborn to the last. You will be coming back soon, though?>
<Before classes begin, certainly.>
<That's a relief. I wouldn't want to have done all that work to prepare for your return for nothing.> |I release Lilly's hands and stand up, then walk out into the hallway. As I expected, mother is hovering quite close to the door.| [I need to get going, mother.]
[Are you sure, Shicchan? If you and Lilly have more to discuss, you're welcome to stay as long as you like.]
I know my mother would enjoy that. Perhaps I would, too. Of course, knowing my mother, there isn't a decent game in the house, but we could improvise...no. I should give Lilly her space. The sooner she can come to terms with things, the sooner we'll have her back. [That's not necessary. Could you call me a cab to take me back to school?]
[Now, Shicchan, you can at least let me give you a ride there.]
Gah, we wouldn't even be able to talk, then! Still, it won't hurt to humor my mother just this once. [All right, then, I accept. Thank you.] |I turn to Lilly and take her hands again.| <Mother is going to drive me back to Yamaku. Are you sure you won't come back with us?>
<Yes, I'm sure.> |Lilly hesitates before continuing.| <However, if you would, please tell Hanako that if she wishes to come here and talk to me, I would welcome it. Just...not today. Perhaps tomorrow afternoon?>
That is the best news of the day, and if my hands weren't entwined with Lilly's, I would be pumping my fist. <I will. What about Hisao?>
Lilly needs to think about that one, it seems. <No, I don't think I'm ready to face him again. Not yet.>
<Do you have a message for him, then?>
<Tell him I'm fine, and not to worry about me. On second thought, never mind the second part. That's one piece of advice I know he'll never follow.>
<All right. One last thing before I go: I really do hope you take up the mantle of class representative when you come back. Frankly, your replacement is worthless, to the point that even you would be an improvement.>
It's meant as a joke this time, and I think Lilly recognizes that, because she smiles <I think Misha misses working with you, too. I'll see you soon, cousin.>
<Yes, you will.>
It's a simple exchange, but it's been a long time since we've done it without feeling a sting. It feels a bit nostalgic. Maybe the rest of this year won't be so bad after all. <Take care.>
|Lilly lets go, and I turn to my mother.| [I'm ready.]
|Mother leads me out to the garage.| [It's good to see you and your cousin getting along again. After what happened last year, I was worried.]
[There are some things on which we'll never agree, though. I just hope Lilly can learn not to take them personally.]
[Perhaps. Also, perhaps you will someday learn not to get defensive every time someone mentions such things.]
|In lieu of answering, I open the door and get in the car, and my mother does the same.|
Maybe my mother not being able to talk to me might be a good thing after all. |I pointedly look away from her as the car pulls out of the garage.|
At least this will be a short trip, and I'm not stuck in the back seat like I always am in Father's car.
|Unlike the cab,|
The cab was a Fuga, too, wasn't it? That's why it felt so uncomfortably familiar. |my mother avoids going through the city.|
At least I have something to look at that isn't the same thing I see every time I take the bus. |I can feel Mother's eyes on me every time we stop.|
It's both annoying and annoyingly comforting at the same time. |Suddenly, we're driving through the town at the base of Aoba, and then Yamaku's already in sight.|
Strange that I feel like I wanted the trip to be longer this time.
|The car pulls up to the front gate, and Mother turns to me.| [You know, I still haven't seen your school.]
[Sorry, but I really need to let people know about Lilly.]
|Mother sighs.| [Another time, I suppose. Can I ask one more question, then?]
[I...]
|Mother grins.| [Rock-paper-scissors?]
I should have expected that. I've never been able to predict what Mother will throw, so my chances are even. [That depends. What do I get if I win?]
[A promise from me never to give your friend another silly shirt.]
Hm, those stakes might actually be worth the risk. [All right, on three, then.] |I throw paper, and of course Mother throws scissors. I give my mother the satisfaction of a look of disappointment at my defeat.| [Ask away.]
[Has your father learned sign language yet?]
She probably already knows the answer to that, but a loss is a loss. [No, he hasn't.]
|Mother closes her eyes in resignation.| [I don't even need to ask if you're communicating with him directly, then, do I?] |She sighs again.| [You really are your father's daughter. Both stubborn to the end.]
Just like everyone else in this family – not that he'd ever admit that, probably not even on his deathbed. [Goodbye, mother. Drive safely.] |I turn around and stride quickly through the gates.|
I refuse to get drawn in any further.
|Once I get a short distance away, I risk a glance backwards. The car is already gone. I feel a small twinge of sadness, but I quickly bury it under my sense of purpose. I turn around again and set off to find Misha.|
~~~~
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