Hello, I recently started playing days ago thinking it was another hentai game..When I started to realize it wasn't hentai I still had this strange feeling inside of me to keep continuing- like it was important in some form.. After a couple hours I begun to feel completely attached to the game as I was going through Hanakao's storyline. I must first admit, I am not a very social person even though I appear outgoing and cheerful- there's something about it that feels so awkward. Playing this game brought those feelings to my attention. Hanako reminds me a little of myself - she is a extreme case of it- but deep inside and beyond the way I act I still feel like a cornered shriveled rat. I would like to thank the creators of this game for helping me find my feelings inside... The writing, the story and the entire atmosphere just feels right. I just feel a little guilty of what I originally thought this game would be, its completely different and caught me by surprise. Its been four hours and I have been in deep thought the entire time but im still not exactly sure what my thought process is, I am still figuring this out as I write this.. I haven't cried this hard for 5 years, and I know this game is just a story but when I cry it feels like im crying for myself. In high school I could of had many friends, even though I appeared outgoing I always push everyone away from me--In my mind everyone was out to get me.. Its what my dad always said to me "Never trust anyone, the world is evil and corrupt" its engraved deep inside my mind. That thought processes was engraved inside me so much I pushed my own feelings aside thinking it somehow related to this "evil" or maybe I just didnt like the idea of people seeing me weak. Even though I knew people I only hung out with myself, I used to eat lunch in a isolated place by the power generators. If anyone caught me I would say the most stupid thing just to be left alone... Sometimes I would feel this great depression in my heart and I would just cry privately- playing this game made me realize that Hanakao is the same way in some form. I hated the fact that I had seperated myself so many times during High School, I wish I can go back in time and change everything but it is too late.... Fastfoward to today, I am in college right now and I feel completley empty and alone. I had many chances during High School to prevent this and im hating myself right now.
I am posting here because I don't know where else to jot these ideas, maybe im looking for symphathy or just someone to talk to... I dont know but I am trying to be open and straightforward. Its still hard to come in contact with what I am feeling now and it feels painful, but I know its something now I cannot escape.. If you read this far, thank you.. My writing isn't that great and it may come as hard to understand
edit---- 1/14/2012
Its kinda weird now, I feel like I am alot more quiet now in general--- almost like I finally removed a mask I had been wearing for so long. I hang out with people more but they notice that something has changed within me.. Not sure what they think of me but I somewhat dont care. Not sure what to make of it.
Is this normal?
Is this normal?
Last edited by MrZeval on Sat Jan 14, 2012 8:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Re: Is this normal?
Okay I lol'd at this part a little... That aside, it's hard to say what's to be considered normal and what's not. It depends on too many things and nobody can give the correct answer. I think most everyone here is feeling some great emotions from this VN, I'd say we're all pathetic to joke it off, but more realistically I think... it just fills some void in life and brings about something that we can really feel. The hell if I know what I'm talking about though. For three nights in a row I barely slept, staying up until the early hours of morning engrossed in the story as well as myself... It really hits hard... I'm not sure what to make of it.MrZeval wrote:When I started to realize it wasn't hentai I still had this strange feeling inside of me to keep continuing-
You know before writing this I figured I'd have something insightful to say... now it looks like I just babbled stuff I'm sure everyone already knew or would have if they had just thought about it. WAHAHA!
Re: Is this normal?
Well, as odd as this sounds I'd say it is pretty normal.
I've been seeing a lot of stories such as yours on the internet that this game sparked. I wrote a very long post on this forum about what the game did for me as well.
In my opinion (keeping in mind I don't know you) you need to realize that you are not alone at all. You can talk to people, it's really okay to open up sometimes. Be it on these forums or in real life. You can PM me personally if you want, I don't mind
The second thing I want you to consider is that it, is in fact, not too late at all.
It is too late to change what could have been in high school, but you cannot live your life in vain of what could have been. Believe me when I tell you I very much doubt there is a single person alive who does not harbour some form of regret towards the past. Using the game as an example, Hisao was originally bitter about his new school, was he not? He thought it was all over for him and that he would never get back the life he had.
He was right, he didn't get his old life back; but he forged himself a new life that he enjoyed. It may not have been the same, but it was one he liked. Maybe even more so than his past one.
YOU can do the same, my friend. If nothing else, this game should inspire you at the awesome potential that a person can reach. You are a person and you can be whatever you want and, regardless of what happened in the past, you can defeat your own demons. It may take time, but it's never too late to change.
You've started right now by opening up, even just a bit; haven't you?
I've been seeing a lot of stories such as yours on the internet that this game sparked. I wrote a very long post on this forum about what the game did for me as well.
In my opinion (keeping in mind I don't know you) you need to realize that you are not alone at all. You can talk to people, it's really okay to open up sometimes. Be it on these forums or in real life. You can PM me personally if you want, I don't mind
The second thing I want you to consider is that it, is in fact, not too late at all.
It is too late to change what could have been in high school, but you cannot live your life in vain of what could have been. Believe me when I tell you I very much doubt there is a single person alive who does not harbour some form of regret towards the past. Using the game as an example, Hisao was originally bitter about his new school, was he not? He thought it was all over for him and that he would never get back the life he had.
He was right, he didn't get his old life back; but he forged himself a new life that he enjoyed. It may not have been the same, but it was one he liked. Maybe even more so than his past one.
YOU can do the same, my friend. If nothing else, this game should inspire you at the awesome potential that a person can reach. You are a person and you can be whatever you want and, regardless of what happened in the past, you can defeat your own demons. It may take time, but it's never too late to change.
You've started right now by opening up, even just a bit; haven't you?
Last edited by Weaver on Sat Jan 14, 2012 1:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Is this normal?
This phrase really struck me. You are entirely right, I felt like I had done alot the last few days even though I spent most of the time on the computer. Thank you for reading through my story, it really means alot... and im not just saying that but I really mean it-- thank you.Weaver wrote: He was right, he didn't get his old life back; but he forged himself a new life that he enjoyed. It may not have been the same, but is was one he liked. Maybe even more so than his past one.
YOU can do the same, my friend. If nothing else, this game should inspire you at the awesome potential that a person can reach. You are a person and you can be whatever you want and, regardless of what happened in the past, you can defeat your own demons. It may take time, but it's never too late to change.
Re: Is this normal?
Wow, I just wanted to say that I think I can empathize with you, at least a little. As I played through Hanako's route I noticed myself getting more engrossed and emotional as it went on.
I dropped out of high school a few years ago because of overwhelming anxiety and depression. I could cope because I had a few online friends that I was really close to, but over the last couple years we've mostly stopped talking and I'm basically alone now. After finishing this it really started to hit me that it was all my fault and I did it to myself. I started wishing that I had been more social, more outgoing, made more friends. I had a girlfriend when I left, but it didn't last long after that as I withdrew more and more. Hanako reminded me of her.. We struggled through anxiety together.
The last few days I've been crying a lot when I'm at home, and I'm having significant trouble sleeping. I try to read something or play a game to take my mind off of it, but it's just such a deep, permeating depression that I've never felt before. On the other hand, that depression also drove me to go out and start trying to change things.. I've decided to start university in the fall, I must have applied for a dozen different jobs, and I'm running again(thanks Emi!)
It sounds so ridiculous to me, getting depressed at a visual novel. I've read some depressing, awful things and went largely unaffected. But this story just hit me on such a personal level, made me reflect, and I couldn't write it off no matter how hard I tried. So like you I wanted to thank the KS devs a lot.. Not for "making" me feel this way, but for opening my eyes to it by giving us such a beautiful, elegant story with so much depth and emotion. Also, your post made me feel a lot better too, Weaver. Thank you for that. Reading your response, the OP's feelings, and jotting mine down here too has really cheered me up. And OP, if you want to talk more, feel free to contact me either through PM on here or my email in my profile. It helps knowing that there are others that feel the same.
Needless to say I probably won't be picking this game up again until I've got my life back in order, but when I do I plan to finish the other routes. =p
I dropped out of high school a few years ago because of overwhelming anxiety and depression. I could cope because I had a few online friends that I was really close to, but over the last couple years we've mostly stopped talking and I'm basically alone now. After finishing this it really started to hit me that it was all my fault and I did it to myself. I started wishing that I had been more social, more outgoing, made more friends. I had a girlfriend when I left, but it didn't last long after that as I withdrew more and more. Hanako reminded me of her.. We struggled through anxiety together.
The last few days I've been crying a lot when I'm at home, and I'm having significant trouble sleeping. I try to read something or play a game to take my mind off of it, but it's just such a deep, permeating depression that I've never felt before. On the other hand, that depression also drove me to go out and start trying to change things.. I've decided to start university in the fall, I must have applied for a dozen different jobs, and I'm running again(thanks Emi!)
It sounds so ridiculous to me, getting depressed at a visual novel. I've read some depressing, awful things and went largely unaffected. But this story just hit me on such a personal level, made me reflect, and I couldn't write it off no matter how hard I tried. So like you I wanted to thank the KS devs a lot.. Not for "making" me feel this way, but for opening my eyes to it by giving us such a beautiful, elegant story with so much depth and emotion. Also, your post made me feel a lot better too, Weaver. Thank you for that. Reading your response, the OP's feelings, and jotting mine down here too has really cheered me up. And OP, if you want to talk more, feel free to contact me either through PM on here or my email in my profile. It helps knowing that there are others that feel the same.
Needless to say I probably won't be picking this game up again until I've got my life back in order, but when I do I plan to finish the other routes. =p
-
encrypted12345
- Posts: 425
- Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2011 11:26 pm
Re: Is this normal?
Haha, don't worry guys. It's perfectly normal. Anything that can make 4chan feel would bring normal people down to tears.http://i.imgur.com/by4JK.jpg
http://i41.tinypic.com/5owp3a.jpg
http://i41.tinypic.com/5owp3a.jpg
-
youwereamouse
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:46 am
Re: Is this normal?
We should be happy that there can be such love in life, even if it's made up.
Me, I just want to be miserable now.
Me, I just want to be miserable now.
-
Gravy Boat Gary
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2012 4:24 am
- Location: Australia
Re: Is this normal?
I here that, I've been down for the past couple of days, how can a game make me feel like this it truly is amazing =)youwereamouse wrote:We should be happy that there can be such love in life, even if it's made up.
Me, I just want to be miserable now.
Re: Is this normal?
I mentioned this somewhere else, but this game is helping me turn my life around,
I was originally aiming to be a teacher, Now I wanna teach at a school like this.
I was originally aiming to be a teacher, Now I wanna teach at a school like this.
**Library 99% complete.**
1. Emi *Done*
2. Rin *Done*
3. Shizune *Done*
4. Hanako *Done*
5. Lilly *Done*
1. Emi *Done*
2. Rin *Done*
3. Shizune *Done*
4. Hanako *Done*
5. Lilly *Done*
Re: Is this normal?
No problem Lanyx, I'm glad my post had an effectLanyx wrote:Also, your post made me feel a lot better too, Weaver. Thank you for that. Reading your response, the OP's feelings, and jotting mine down here too has really cheered me up.
It's a very rare thing in life to be broken down and to fully reflect upon yourself.
I would just hate to see people squander the opportunity to build themselves back up into a stronger form they can be more proud of.
It's far from easy, but I can tell you already know that.
Good luck!
Re: Is this normal?
I had to read this trough twice to believe it, just wow. This is like totally my life "story"... Kinda comforting that i'm not alone with this. I really hope you'll get your life back in order. Cheers.Lanyx wrote:Wow, I just wanted to say that I think I can empathize with you, at least a little. As I played through Hanako's route I noticed myself getting more engrossed and emotional as it went on.
I dropped out of high school a few years ago because of overwhelming anxiety and depression. I could cope because I had a few online friends that I was really close to, but over the last couple years we've mostly stopped talking and I'm basically alone now. After finishing this it really started to hit me that it was all my fault and I did it to myself. I started wishing that I had been more social, more outgoing, made more friends. I had a girlfriend when I left, but it didn't last long after that as I withdrew more and more. Hanako reminded me of her.. We struggled through anxiety together.
The last few days I've been crying a lot when I'm at home, and I'm having significant trouble sleeping. I try to read something or play a game to take my mind off of it, but it's just such a deep, permeating depression that I've never felt before. On the other hand, that depression also drove me to go out and start trying to change things.. I've decided to start university in the fall, I must have applied for a dozen different jobs, and I'm running again(thanks Emi!)
It sounds so ridiculous to me, getting depressed at a visual novel. I've read some depressing, awful things and went largely unaffected. But this story just hit me on such a personal level, made me reflect, and I couldn't write it off no matter how hard I tried. So like you I wanted to thank the KS devs a lot.. Not for "making" me feel this way, but for opening my eyes to it by giving us such a beautiful, elegant story with so much depth and emotion. Also, your post made me feel a lot better too, Weaver. Thank you for that. Reading your response, the OP's feelings, and jotting mine down here too has really cheered me up. And OP, if you want to talk more, feel free to contact me either through PM on here or my email in my profile. It helps knowing that there are others that feel the same.
Needless to say I probably won't be picking this game up again until I've got my life back in order, but when I do I plan to finish the other routes. =p
It sits in silence
Eats away at me
It feeds like cancer
Eats away at me
It feeds like cancer
Re: Is this normal?
Well, I'm glad I could lend someone at least a little comfort, then. Brightened up my day. =) Thank you, and take care.Valtameri wrote: I had to read this trough twice to believe it, just wow. This is like totally my life "story"... Kinda comforting that i'm not alone with this. I really hope you'll get your life back in order. Cheers.
-
Nekken
Re: Is this normal?
I don't know if I'd call your reaction normal -I'm not sure what "normal" is in this context- but there have been many reports of reactions very similar to your own. This game is exceedingly well-written in terms of characterizations, and that affects people.
That said, there seem to be two common types of what, for lack of a better term, I'll call "deep reactions." I can't think of good names for them: the best I've been able to come up with are "advance" and "retreat." You appear to have the advance-type reaction, which is the more common and ultimately the more positive: in these characters, you recognize the problems you see in your own life, and it makes you want to do something about it. This is good, but you need to follow through on it. You said you're in college: they likely have a counseling department. Talk with them. You don't have to bring up the game -in fact, it may be best if you don't- but it sounds like there are things you need to sort out. Once you've done that, then you can start work on expanding your social circle, but it would be best to first talk to someone who is both neutral and trained to do this sort of thing. This is what counselors are good for.
You can find an extreme example of what I call a retreat-type reaction at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grP6Z0tMmYM. These are the ones who, as the guy in this video says, try to fill the void with a fictional character. It's not just a crush; that sort of thing is an entirely normal reaction to fiction. This is different, and it isn't healthy: it's a retreat into yourself (thus the name), and worse, it happens in a way that's tough to recognize in oneself. But that isn't you: it's something to worry about, but you aren't there.
As stated above, I wouldn't dive right into an expanded social circle: talk to a counselor first, and to start sorting things out in your head. That will make the next step easier, and make it far less likely for things to go wrong (which is exactly what you don't want to happen right now). But you recognize that there's a problem, and you aren't just glomming onto something to fill the void: you're facing it head-on. As long as that continues, you'll be all right. Hold on, and move forward, and things will get better.
That said, there seem to be two common types of what, for lack of a better term, I'll call "deep reactions." I can't think of good names for them: the best I've been able to come up with are "advance" and "retreat." You appear to have the advance-type reaction, which is the more common and ultimately the more positive: in these characters, you recognize the problems you see in your own life, and it makes you want to do something about it. This is good, but you need to follow through on it. You said you're in college: they likely have a counseling department. Talk with them. You don't have to bring up the game -in fact, it may be best if you don't- but it sounds like there are things you need to sort out. Once you've done that, then you can start work on expanding your social circle, but it would be best to first talk to someone who is both neutral and trained to do this sort of thing. This is what counselors are good for.
You can find an extreme example of what I call a retreat-type reaction at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grP6Z0tMmYM. These are the ones who, as the guy in this video says, try to fill the void with a fictional character. It's not just a crush; that sort of thing is an entirely normal reaction to fiction. This is different, and it isn't healthy: it's a retreat into yourself (thus the name), and worse, it happens in a way that's tough to recognize in oneself. But that isn't you: it's something to worry about, but you aren't there.
As stated above, I wouldn't dive right into an expanded social circle: talk to a counselor first, and to start sorting things out in your head. That will make the next step easier, and make it far less likely for things to go wrong (which is exactly what you don't want to happen right now). But you recognize that there's a problem, and you aren't just glomming onto something to fill the void: you're facing it head-on. As long as that continues, you'll be all right. Hold on, and move forward, and things will get better.
-
Drake
Re: Is this normal?
I saw that video, I was wondering what does it mean if I'm wishing I could find someone like Rin for real? Not as a crush or anything of that sorts but cause I feel that not only would I learn a lot, but that it would be good for me too.
Re: Is this normal?
Man, I have to admit. I felt a little sick in the head/stomache after watching that video. I felt sorry for him, of course but it just puts me off a little disgust =/Nekken wrote: You can find an extreme example of what I call a retreat-type reaction at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grP6Z0tMmYM. These are the ones who, as the guy in this video says, try to fill the void with a fictional character. It's not just a crush; that sort of thing is an entirely normal reaction to fiction. This is different, and it isn't healthy: it's a retreat into yourself (thus the name), and worse, it happens in a way that's tough to recognize in oneself. But that isn't you: it's something to worry about, but you aren't there.