Winter writing (xmas story end pg8)

[kosherbacon]

Wow, Hisao is an ass. How dare he slap mai garfrendo(not quite waifu). Well, she was getting annoying by that point but yeah, wow.

Anyways, a couple things occurred to me when reading this...

She's been locked out of her room, so what'd Lilly change into? Did Hanako give her a change of clothes or did she have a set of pajamas in the tea room or somewhere elsewhere?

As cute as bedsharing is, Hanako locking herself in Lilly's room seemed a little alarming. Even if it meant getting the dorm mom involved, it probably would've been wise to at least make sure Hanako hadn't defenestrated out Lilly's window.

And finally... Hisao was going to make Lilly use a sleeping bag instead of sleeping on the floor and giving her the bed? What a gentleman...

[chaix]

Hisao might not know the truth in this case. he left those two for hours so anything could've happened. It might be Lilly lying, Hanako's plan to force them closer together quickly, or it could be something they thought of together. There's no actual proof in any case is there?

[kosherbacon]

Either way, I can't wait to see the Hanako end now.

[chaix]

last part: Hanako end. if it sounds kinda Fateish, that's what you get after doing a full run between writing these last two.

I slowly walk up the stairs to the third floor and turn to head down the hall.

Hi: “Room 305, room 305...”

It dawns on me that no one actually took the time to show me around the school, so I have no idea where the hell the room is. Eventually I fight my male instincts and head to the library. Yuuko is a staff member after all, or at least she should have a map. The desk turns out to be empty, which could mean she's out or just-

Hi: “Uh, Yuuko?”

*Thunk*

-searching for something again.

Yu: “Ahhhhh- who? Oh Hisao what can I do for you?”

She’s shaking out her hand; I guess she dropped something on it.

Hi: “Do you know where room 305 is, or have a map of the school?”

Yu: “Room 305? I think if you go outside and take a left; it should be down that hall.”

Hi: “Thanks.”

I follow her directions and check the room numbers as I pass by: 302, 303, 304, 305. As I put my hand on the doorknob I take a deep breath, preparing myself for whatever happens.

Hi: “Hanako?”

Ha: “HI-Hisao?!”

I hear the rustling of clothes as a figure races toward the door and begins an assault on my ribcage.

Hi: “Hanako... hurting-”

She doesn’t give a response, though her grip hurts a little less now.

Hi: “Um Hanako?”

I wriggle my arms free when she stays silent again. I move my arms in order to return her embrace, but as my hand brushes her shoulder I feel her grip tighten again.

Hi: “Are you alright?”

Ha: “It-it’s warmer.”

The odd comment stops my thought process. While my mind is trying to uncover the meaning, her hands move up and come to rest on my shoulders. Then I feel her weight transfer from her feet to her hands, pulling my unprepared body to the floor. I think the back of my head hit the door on the way down. My vision’s kinda fuzzy but it doesn’t seem like there’s any pain in my chest area. Her body pushes me into the door, followed by something heavy being placed on my shoulder.

Ha: “This is much better than the last one. Hisao feels like Hisao this time.”

Her breathing has become shallow by the time my vision clears up. Her body has wrapped itself around mine without any regard for restraint or how I might react. I decide to simply examine the figure on top of me since any major movement would probably wake her up. As I focus on each sense, I immediately find myself trying to focus on something else. My sense of smell is the first to be stolen; shampoo soap and what is probably perfume all mix, it’s all so strong I can taste it in my mouth. I block out a flood of thoughts from my mind only to have them resurge as her body moves in her sleep, moving her mouth and the sound of her breath closer to my ear. I look up for guidance only to see the blinding school lights forcing my eyes back down to her clothes. Her hair and shirt give the image of shadows on new snow. Her face looks far too pure to be the girl who tried to forcefully take me just a week ago. In fact it’s trying to give me the same idea. I find myself retreating inward, trying to block out the outside world like some kind of monk. It doesn’t work near as well as I’d hoped; the barrage is just too strong to be ignored.

DAMMIT, HOW THE HELL CAN ANYONE EXPECT ME TO STAY SANE LIKE THIS?!

I regain control of my body and shake her shoulder. I need her to wake up, to move away and bring me out of this world of temptation.

Ha: “Who...”

I restrain myself from any action except another shake of her shoulder. I’m afraid I’ll either push her so hard I’ll hurt her, or I won’t be able to control myself. Either way I can’t see it ending well.

Hi: “Hanako could you please wake up?”

Ha: “Hi...sa...OH?!”

I’m released without a second thought as she backs up across the floor.

Ha: “But wait wasn’t-no but before- and then...”

Her mind must be running two or three different trains right now, each one trying to straighten out her current position.

Ha: “I-I’m awake now?”

I nod.

Ha: “Did you- no that’s wrong. You –we never did... anything d-did we?”

Hi: “Uh... I don’t think so apart from that thing. You are awake right?”

Ha: “M-maybe, But I’ve been- n-no maybe I’m still...”

Hi: “You’re not sure if you’re asleep?”

She nods. In response I begin unbuttoning my shirt.

Ha: “W-w-wait! What are you-?”

Her gaze begins shooting around the room.

Hi: “You know I have a scar right? That’s my proof.”

She looks at the wound with a strange look in her eye. Maybe she’s disappointed that I’m not perfect? Is she happy that we share something? Maybe she’s curious as to what caused it? After awhile she abruptly looks away.

Ha: “I’m sorry for doing that. Y-you probably don’t like people looking at it.”

Hi: “No one notices really. I think my parents are the only other people who have seen it. It’s not the most visible spot is it?”

I close the viewing session. I don’t mind her looking at it so much or rather it’s not the fact that she staring at it that makes me uncomfortable. It’s that her staring at it makes me more conscious of its existence; I even avoid looking at it in the mirror because it causes a noticeable drop in my mood.

Ha: “I-I suppose not.”

Hi: “A-anyway, why did you pick a room I’ve never been to before? Couldn’t you choose the classroom or the library?”

Ha: “I wasn’t sure... I might’ve cried a lot.”

She says this with a grin on her face; I suppose that nap must’ve given her brain time to process without her usual overwhelming emotion.

Ha: “D-did you find Lilly before-”

Hi: “No, I came straight here. I thought that was the deal?”

Ha: “Oh, I thought th-that you might have met her on the way. She... she left before you came here. ”

Hi: “Did she say anything?”

Ha: “N-no. Just that she was sure that you would come here. And that she would meet us for lunch tomorrow.”

Hi: “I guess that’s fine. I was hoping to see her today though, and uh...”

Ha: “I... She p-probably doesn’t want to hear an apology. We asked you to choose and...”

Hi: “Yeah, I know that, but I won’t feel right unless I do it.”

She looks down for a second before slowly reaching out and taking my hand.

Ha: “If that... is what you want.”

She guides me down through the school, across the courtyard and up the floors of the girl’s dorm. She stops in front of a door and releases my hand.

Ha: “Go ahead.”

*Knock knock*

Li: “Yes?”

Hi: “It’s me. I just wanted to come and... uh, say that I’m sorry.”

Li: “Don’t be sorry Hisao. It happened just as I thought it would so there’s no problem. If that’s all then?”

Hi: “Yeah I know.”

I turn and begin walking down the hall. I can just hear the door I left open and close behind me. I walk back to my room with a blank mind.

The next thought is a question: Who? There’s a knock at my door. Without thinking I walk over and open it and find the answer.

Hi: “Hanako?”

She grabs me by the shoulders and pushes, my mind isn’t in a resisting state; I can’t tell how long it’s been since I left the other dorm. My knees buckle as they hit something behind me and I fall backwards onto the bed. The rattling of my brain causes my mind to finally catch up.

Hi: “What are you doing? What happened with-?”

The last word is cut off by her hand on my mouth.

Ha: “D-don’t say it. I-I can’t be her friend and do this.”

The question ringing through my head is answered as she takes my hand and moves it under her shirt and onto something soft. On the back of my hand I can feel a spot where the shirt is damp.

Ha: “It...feels different when it’s really Hisao.”

She forces her best smile as she says it and looks at me. I don’t think that’s something she would wear if this was what she actually wanted. I slide my hand out of the shirt and place both hands on her back and pull.

Ha: “You still don’t...then why-?”

Hi: “I didn’t choose you because you were going to sleep with me. And I don’t think it’ll happen for awhile anyways.”

She asks why again, to which I don’t give an answer. I simply pull her in as close as possible and let her become comfortable enough to slip into dreams. Her rare natural smile is fixed on her face. I can’t let that expression waiver or cause a situation where she has to force it. This is what the price will be for causing tears to fall.

[kosherbacon]

Cute ending, though I confess, I got a little lost in your narrative at a couple points. Mostly when Hisao gets hug-attacked in 305, then gets ...knocked over? And then they sleep? You do a good job with the sensory descriptions but I'm still not 100% sure what exactly happened there.

[chaix]

first she grabs him, then she moves her arms and then she put all of her weight on Hisao's shoulders. he can't fully support it and his legs buckle, on the way down his head comes into contact with the wall, blurring his vision. she then uses him as a giant pillow.

since It's not mentioned explicitly in story i'll state it here because Hanako's dialog doesn't make as much sense without it:
Hanako has been sleeping alot since she saw him last. her dreams have been mostly realistic (to the extent of her knowledge) leading to a slight confusion in her mind. she cannot tell without proof or a significant enough stimulus that she is 100% awake.

[chaix]

new Lilly story, hope you guys/girls enjoy it.

-A Demon's Visit-

*knock knock* Ah, the knock I've been waiting for. “Come in Lilly!” the door opens and she walks in, sitting down on the closest chair. She ‘looks’ at me before starting to speak.

“Did you have plans for today?”

“Yes, but I thought I’d run them by you first. I was thinking of going into town and walking around a bit before dinner.”

“Where?”

“The place about 3 blocks down from the park.”

“Ah, that sounds...”

“I know it’s not that different from the last time...”

“I don’t need to be taken to a different place every time. I don’t mind staying here and eating-”

“Please don’t say that. You might end up in the infirmary if I cook.”

“I’m sure you can if you try.” she moves onto the bed so she can sit beside me. “Even if you -” she moves a little closer-“- make something that horrible we can always-” BZZZZZTT. A sound interrupts her slow advance.

“Just my phone, give me a second.“ It’s strange that someone is calling me, there aren’t that many people who know the number: Hanako doesn’t use it often, Lilly is
right here, and my old friends ... haven’t... called... in...

No. I check the call display; it’s a number I recognize. But it can’t, not now, fate can’t be that cruel. I open the phone and answer.

“Hello?”

“Hello Hicchan!” the scream in my mind must reach the moon, or god, or at least every psychic within school grounds. This person, it’s not fair! “Hello mom, how are you?”

“Fine Hicchan, just fine. I’ve actually got a surprise for you!”

Whatever it is can’t be worse than what you have already done you moment wrecker.

“Look out your window!” My mind rejects the possibility. That possibility can’t exist. So there’s no harm in confirming that-

It’s real, a nightmare made physical. Reality itself has warped itself to spite me. My mother is standing outside, waving at me like she hasn’t done anything wrong.
I turn to my girlfriend and harden my voice while covering the phone. “Lilly, I need you to leave quickly and quietly. If a woman tries to speak to you on your way back to your room; you do not know who Hisao Nakai is.”

“Is something wrong with your mother?”

“Wrong? No, she’s probably a perfect being... well if she was an Oni or some other kind of demon.” It’s not an exaggeration, last time my mother came to school I regretted it for a very long time. “Wait where-?” I bolt back to the window; the figure of my mother is gone. When I put the phone back to my ear, I find she’s hung up. This nightmare just seems to get worse and worse.

“Lilly any chance you have your bag with you?”

“Yes, why?” her speech is only calm because she doesn’t know what’s going to happen.

“Good, you still have math homework right?” I grab my own book from the table and sit down on the bed.

“Yes, but why?”

“You don’t want to know what’ll happen if she get the, uh correct idea.”

“Alright then, but I won’t lie if she asks.”

We manage to get a few questions done before the storm appears

“I’m coming in Hicchan, don’t do anything embarrassing!” Only an idiot would after you called first.

She walks in... For a second I think she doesn't notice Lilly, a brief hope-“And you are?”-crushed within seconds.

“My name is Lilly Satou. We were just doing our homework together.” Lilly extend her hand out in a friendly gesture. If she had turned a few centimetres to the right, it would have been perfect.

“I’m Hicchan's mother, thank you for taking care of him.” she moves to shake Lilly’s hand. This would seem normal if my mother wasn’t using this time to analyse Lilly.

“If you will excuse me, I’m sure you two would like to talk to each other.” she politely excuses herself from the room and walks out with grace that I didn’t think a blind person could have until I came here.

“I don’t like her.” Whoever said my mother didn’t make decisions quickly obviously has their head encased in cement.

“Why not?” I ask a forbidden question, but I guess it would be more suspicious if I didn’t.

“First off, she too high class, second: she deliberately aimed her hand-”

“Er- I’ll have to stop you there. Though I’m really not sure I should say this, Lilly’s blind, she’s pretty good at telling where people are just by hearing them.”

“Really? It doesn’t matter, a girl like that is probably high maintenance. She can’t do anything by herself.”

“So why are you saying all this?”I throw out a typical single guy response. On the other hand, even if she doesn’t like someone she usually just says ‘because I don’t’.

“Because I interrupted her, I’m one-hundred-per-cent certain she was about to try something with you.”

I stop my jaw before it falls and gives me away, how the hell-? “W-why would you think that?”

“My women’s intuition told me so.” Worst reason EVER, not that she`s wrong, but it`s really annoying that her statement is entirely based on a hunch. Either way there’s something I want to know.

“Mom not that I don’t appreciate you visiting but, why are you here?”

“Hmm? I wanted to see you, I used to be able to see you every day and now I can’t.”

“And you decided to do this without telling me because...?”

“Because it’s more fun to surprise someone!”

My brain just shut down for a second. Considering that she would’ve had to decide this at least yesterday, the timing just seems like a prank from god.

“So, want to do anything? Movie, dinner-”

“The homework that you interrupted?”

“But how often does your mother come to visit? The teacher will understand.”

“Maybe, but I doubt it. The person beside me however, has no restraint in the matter of scolding me until I go deaf.”

“I guess it can’t be helped then, I’ll just head over to my room. Make sure your schedule’s open tomorrow!”

The last sentence is spoken as she heads out the door, a whirlwind leaving to cause chaos somewhere else. Even worse is that she’ll say “I’m Hisao’s mother” every time she does it, so this will all come back to me. Ugh I can`t deal with this, maybe I`ll take a nap to clear my head...

(time skip)

The alarm clock wakes me, pulling me into a world I really don’t want to be in right now. I perform the daily routine on reflex, my mind still shutting out reality. It’s not until I sit down in my classroom that I’m forced to accept recent events.

“G-good morning Hisao.”

“Morning Hanako, kinda odd for you to be here this early isn’t it?”

“Um I thought you might need somebody to... listen to you.”

“About?”

“Lilly told me that you were... that your mother had come and-”

“Do you really want to listen to me rant about my mother?”

“She- she did raise you right? You should be happy to see her.”

“Normally I suppose I might. If circumstances were different or if she decided to act more normal for once.”

“What don’t you like about her?”

“She’s pushy and overzealous for starters. Never had an argument she didn’t win through force, no matter how wrong she was.”

“How often was she wrong?”

“I fought for half an hour with her stubbornness. We were arguing over the colour of a shirt. It was dark blue, she said it was black. It was the shirt I wore last Sunday.”

“Oh... isn’t- she can’t be all bad.”

“If you think I turned out well, it’s because I try to do the opposite of her.”

“Oh. You don’t... hate her do you?”

“Not really. It’s kind of helpful to have that kind of person around sometimes. Very... motivating... occasionally. Why the interest in my mother?”

“N-no reason.” I doubt it, but I probably won’t get an answer even if I push for one.

At lunch I notice Hanako whispering to Lilly every time she thinks I’m not looking. Guess that was why she was asking before. I don’t see why she couldn’t just ask herself though. Maybe I overreacted a bit yesterday but my mother isn’t- *bzzzzt*- I pull out the phone and look at the screen. Apparently you don’t even need to speak of the devil anymore.

“Hello Mom.”

“Hello Hicchan, free for lunch?”

“Uh, not really.”

“Didn't I tell you to make sure you didn’t have anything planned today?”

“I didn't plan this, I normally eat with my friends and I think they would find it very rude if I was to leave in the middle of lunch.”

“Tell them it was your mother. They’ll understand right?”

“There isn’t time to go anywhere with you anyways. I tried once and I had to eat so fast my stomach felt funny the rest of the day.”

“Then skip a class, it won’t kill you.” What kind of parent are you?! I mean really, I don’t think that’s normal to tell your kid to skip class just because you want to have lunch.

“I’m not going to skip class to play hooky with my mother.”

“Then you’d do it with someone else?” Technically I did, Kenji was pretty nuts that day and I ended up getting stuck in my room for the morning. Not fun trying to explain that to Muto.

“Can you at least wait until I get off school then? I’m pretty sure I don’t have anything planned or otherwise.” I look up to confirm with the two girls. Double nodding head means I’m in the clear.

“All right then, don’t try to wriggle out of it or I’ll tie you up and drag you along with me.” I don’t doubt that she would so I reassure her and wait for her to hang up first before I hide the phone away again.

“So dinner with your mother...”

“You’re not coming Lilly.”

“Why not? It is normal for a person to introduce his girlfriend to his parents is it not?”

“I will, just you know, after she can’t object or do something really weird to drive me insane.”

“I’m sure I could get along just fine with her.”

“According to her first impression, you’re a rich girl who probably has servants do everything.” Her eyebrows pop up but she still appears to be keeping her calm

“Oh, I wonder what gave her that idea.”

“I’ll try and straighten it out tonight.”

“Thank you Hisao. I look forward to meeting her.”

“I uh... look forward to it as well. I hope you get along well with her.”

(Time skip)

“HI-SA-O!” I really wish she wouldn’t do that. Everyone here is looking at me funny.

“Hi mom, I assume we’re going into town today?”

“Yep, some good old-fashioned mother-son time.” She says it with a smile on her face. She really seems into it though, like a girl on a date...

“Okay then, where are you dragging me?”

“Oh, I’m not dragging you anywhere. You are going to be showing me around town.” I groan and comply by starting down the hill with her following behind.

“So, where is my cute little son taking me first?”

“I don’t think cute and little apply to me anymore.”

“Remember what I told you about making a girl cry?”

“Yeah, if I make a girl cry then I’ll be a failure as a man and I’ll be looked down on by every girl I know”

“If you make your mother cry, it’s even worse.” That’s an evil look on your face mom, and I’m pretty sure that last statement was bordering on blackmail.

(Time skip)

“It’s been awhile since we’ve had dinner like this hasn’t it?”

“I guess, maybe... half a year?”

My mother selected the Shanghai for dinner. Yuuko looked even more nervous than usual”

“So, how long are you up here for?”

“Three or four more days. I want to see how you’re doing.”

“Three or four... Where are you staying?”

“I found an inn a few minutes’ walk from here.”

“How’s dad doing?”

“Same as always, same as always.” She closes her eyes and nods several times. I suppose he’s pretty used to my mother’s weirdness.

“So... out of curiosity, why did you say that stuff about Lilly?”

“Hmm? Oh the rich girl. Well she’s polite, she’s formal, she isn’t Japanese-”

“Uh she went to an all-girls school, one of those real formal ones.”

“Is she in your class?”

“Er...no.”

“Friend of a friend?”

“Uh... kind of?”

“Kind of... How does that work?”

“Well Hanako is my friend, and Lilly is her friend. Though if I didn’t meet Lilly first, I doubt Hanako would be talking to me.”

“Did you do something to her?”

“No, she’s just really... shy I guess.”

“So... about Lilly?”

“Why are you this concerned about what I think of her? I mean she’s just a friend right?” I can see it on her face: the recognition of the answer before she even hears it.

“Well we’re uh... kinda...going...out...”

She snaps. Not a huge snap, but anyone who knows her would notice the small twitch as her brain stumbles over the confirmation. Her head shakes as if to clear away a bad dream.

“Where to?” Nice misinterpretation mom.

“Going out as in going out.”

“I don’t think I understand...”

“Ugh... I mean going out, as in dating, as in she’s my girlfriend.”

“G-girl... that girl?!”

“Yeah, so could you please keep the opinions to yourself?”

“I-I don’t see why. I haven’t approved of her and you are still MY son.” She digs in and begins her defence against the unknown intruder.

“Well she ,for some reason, wants to meet you and try to get along.”

“Well then, I’ll meet her-” Well at least she’s being reasonable.”- and stop her from corrupting my son!”

And so it begins. A battle for my heart waged between my girlfriend and my mother.

Somehow, I don’t think having a girlfriend is supposed to be this strange.

(Time skip)

[Mirage_GSM]

I think if I had a mother like that, I'd apply for adoption

[chaix]

goody, sounds like I got her nature across pretty well (and I am trying to write her the same way as xmas)


“Hey Lilly, I think I did something bad.”

She calmly puts down her tea. “What is it Hisao? Did your mother not want to meet me?”

“Oh she doesn't just want to meet you; she wants full scale war with me as the prize.”

“I don’t think she actually wants to fight over you. She probably just wants the best for you.”

“She said something about stopping you from corrupting me.”

Lilly’s good nature must be getting strained. ”I-I can’t imagine what would... I suppose it is natural for your mother to be protective of you.”

“You can find out for yourself. She agreed to have dinner with you tonight.”

“When am I meeting her?”

“Seven, I’d suggest that we get there on time so she doesn’t have extra ammunition.”

“I don’t think I need help to talk to another person.”

“Lilly, if I don’t go, she’ll use it against you. Probably something about me not caring enough to go with you.”

“If you believe it will help."

(Time skip)

We walk down the hill as calmly as possible, my hand firmly grasping hers for support, not for her support though. My hand was presumably shaking audibly until she finally slid her hand into my trembling grip.

“Hi mom.” Her eyes are drawn to our hands and I notice another twitch. Looks like this will be a long night.

“Hello Mrs. Nakai, My name is Lilly Satou.”

“Hello Miss Satou. I assume that my son was not exaggerating your-”

“We are dating each other, yes.”

First line of defense down, good work Lilly!

“Then you know why I wanted to meet you properly.”

“I assume you wish to see if I am suitable for your son.”

“Actually I’m here to protect my son from a dangerous situation.”

With that declaration, we step inside the restaurant. I sit beside Lilly, partially to show I’m on her side, mostly because I don’t want to be near my mother in this situation. Lilly and I talk in between ourselves deciding what to order while my mother glares at us. Besides that, we’re pretty silent until after we order.

“So, Miss Nakai I would like to hear your objections to our relationship.” She opens up the can and I brace myself for the onslaught.

“Well, first off: do you even know what he looks like?”

“I am told by Hanako that he has brown hair, blue eyes, and that although he is slightly shorter than I am, I believe him to be quite handsome from what I can feel. To answer your question however, I am unable to see his face myself. On the other hand, it also means that I am drawn to him for his kindness and good nature, not for anything superficial.” The speech manages to cause my mother to retreat, something that I haven’t seen in awhile. I resist the urge to do anything, knowing that provoking my mother could prove even more dangerous.

“So, you think you know my son?”

“Not entirely, but I do try to learn and remember as much as someone in my position should.”

Any further comments are cut off by the food arriving, providing a brief armistice while the two combatants ready themselves.

“So Miss Satou...?”

“What would you like to know?”

“How do you know my son actually likes you? I happen to know for a fact that he didn’t confess.”

“I cannot point to one thing in particular but-” Lilly stumbles on the question, it’s understandable. There was no confession of love, nothing definitive like that, just two people who were attracted to each other ending up together.

“Hisao is a kind person, I know because I raised him to be one. I wouldn't be surprised if he just didn’t want to break your heart.” Lilly looks at me for support, I look back at my mother who I’m now imagining in a pointed hat and black robes.

“Yes he is a kind person, but leading me on would be a cruel thing that I do not think Hisao is capable of.”

“Kindness and cruelty go along with each other don’t they?”

“I do not believe he could stand causing that much pain to another person.” Depends on the person actually, I don’t mind causing Kenji a little-

“And what about you? as I recall the last little show of kindness-”

“So you’re going to use that? Using something from half a year ago is pretty underhanded.”

“I’m just making sure your...condition doesn’t end up killing you.”

“I told Lilly about my heart awhile ago. No need to try and hide it.”

“Oh so you told her about what happened too?”

“She respected my privacy enough not to pry into my life. Could I ask you not to bring it up again?”

“Okay then, if you want me to leave you two alone then just say it right now. Look at her and say it.” the smirk is pretty telling about her motivation. She knows that it won’t happen. I turn to Lilly and tap on her shoulder to get her to turn to me.

“L-Lilly I...I-” I feel my heart start beating harder. Eventually I turn away and place my hand on my chest. For a second I actually felt a small bit of pain, an indicator of what might happen if I continue. As much as I’d like to, I stop myself from going any further. I’m sure Lilly would prefer me to not have a heart attack just to comply with that witch’s demands.

“Hisao is it impossible for you to do so? I thought you only had problems with physical exertion”

“Uh- no it’s uh...”

“Last time some little witch tried to date my son, it nearly killed him.” Way to blurt out one of my ‘take it with me to the grave’ secrets.

“Ah, so it is caused by emotional stress as well?”

“Exactly, which is why-”

“It is why you are protective of him, yes? We have been together for a few weeks and the only time he has had trouble with his heart is walking up the hill from town.”

“Well there was that one time when I tripped on your cane, but I’m still pretty sure that was my fault.”

“So I can assume you two haven’t even kissed yet.” Well there was the one she sprang on me, but my heart was kinda going nuts afterwards-

“Actually, Hisao kisses me after every outing together. Right after he walks me back to my room.” E-eh? Lilly’s lying? To my mother?! This cannot end well, this cannot end well, this cannot end well...

“w-what?” m-my mother is speechless?! Lilly has defeated her? LILLY IS THE BEST GIRLFRIEND EVER! “–c-can’t... Hisao is...”

“A young man who cannot rely on his mother forever, and I’m sure you would like to have __________.” I see the words form on her lips, but my mind doesn’t hear them. I can feel steam shooting from my ears as the blood rushes to my head and my vision goes black.



My eyes open to a blinding hell. Everything is white and reflective, forcing my eyes shut. There are voices on the other side of the wall, but I can’t tell what they’re saying. I lay there for a few minutes, slowly letting my eyes adjust to the light. At some point I realize my arm has gone stiff. After a few minutes I finally get off the bed and stand up, despite the momentary dizziness and my arm, I feel pretty good. I take a quick look around and confirm my surroundings: it’s a medical room, not unlike the one that I was stuck in not too long ago. I open the door and pray I don’t find a hospital on the other side.

“Oh you’re awake?” it’s the nurse, I’ve never been so happy to see him... okay it’s not saying much but I’m still pretty relieved.

“I’m at school?”

“Yep, can you go back and sit on the bed for a second?”

“Uh, sure.” I comply with his request and he begins running his tests. Making sure my heart is working, that my limbs still function, and that my brain is still up to par.

“So... now that you’ve got a clean bill of health, any questions?”

“What happened at the restaurant, how did I get here and why do I have a giant mark on my arm?”

“Well, I can’t answer the first one, but you were brought here after you lost consciousness. Miss Satou and your mother were pretty worried you had a heart attack.”

“I guess it wasn’t because my heart feels fine.”

“Nope, just fainted.”

“From what?”

“Most of your blood rushed toward your head. Any chance you went through some emotional trauma?”

“Uh...nothing I can remember.”

“I suppose you must’ve blocked it out.”

“That’s probably for the best, what about my arm?”

“That was Miss Satou’s doing, she fell asleep next to you. She woke up this morning and headed to class... oh that reminds me, she asked to be told when you woke up.” He walks over to the phone and punches in a few numbers.

“Hello Miyagi, could you tell Satou that Nakai is up and about? Thanks” he hangs up momentarily before picking the receiver up again and punching in a few more numbers.

“Hello, Mrs. Nakai. Your son is fine, he just got up and is back to normal.” he hangs up and sits in his chair and a smirk appears on his face. “So Hisao-” just when did he start using my first name? ”-want to bet on who gets here first? I’m willing to put 500¥ on your mother. “

“Pretty sure you’re not allowed to do that.”

“Eh, it’s something that usually gets rid of the gloomy atmosphere around here.”

“How bored are you?”

“Pretty bad actually, you’re the only one who’s been in here in the past couple days.”

“Then I’ll put my money on Lilly then.”

“You don’t have a gambling problem do you?”

“Nope, you?”

“Nope, I wonder about Nomiya though.” I put my cash on the table and the nurse does the same.

“So, is Satou your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, you have one?”

“I wish. Mutou actually tried to set me up once.”

“You poor man. I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like.”

“Not as bad as you think, his sister’s pretty good looking. Back to you though, how far are you with her?”

“We kissed the once...”

“Need the safe sex lecture?”

“Please no.” I can feel the blood start running to my face.

“If you get to that point, come here first. I might need to change your medication.”

“Uh, got it. Why can’t we change it now?”

“I’d need to have the new stuff come in first. But I’m guessing you won’t need it yet. If you’re turning that red then you’re not sleeping with anyone for a while.”

*Knock knock*

“Come in!”

“Hello, is Hisao-?”

“Right here Lilly.” She speed walks over and begins hugging me.

“Uh Miss Satou? Not to be a kill joy but you shouldn’t squeeze his chest too hard.”

“I-I sorry, I forgot about your heart for a moment.”

“N-no problem, thanks for being worried.”

“Looks like I lose Hisao, romantic love apparently moves people faster than parental.” He pushes his money towards me.

“Hisao?!” She glares at Lilly before she walks through the door.

Sorry mom, you’re a little late.

“Are you fine? Your heart is...”

“Perfectly fine according to the nurse here, I only fainted.” She shoots another glance at Lilly.

“So as long as he can get used to... whatever caused him to faint, it shouldn’t happen again. Out of curiosity, what did cause him to faint?”

“That would be her fault.” She jabs her thumb at Lilly.

“What exactly was it?”

“I mentioned that if Mrs. Nakai continued to be over-protective, the possibility of her having grandchildren would decrease.” I can feel my face go red again while the nurse suppresses his laughter.

“Well I guess we don’t have to worry about what we talked about earlier Nakai. And Lilly, I suggest not mentioning anything-”he leans in and whispers into her ear for a few seconds “-but that’s just my opinion.”

“I will take that into consideration.”

“You are not getting your little hands on-” something in me snaps. Maybe it’s a reaction to Lilly being attacked; maybe it’s a rebellion against my mother’s attempt at protecting me, whatever it is my mind can only think of how to crush my mother. This idea seems good, enough to shut her up for a little while at least. I’m sorry Lilly, I should really ask before I do this kind of thing. And on the off chance my heart can’t handle it, I’m sure the nurse can handle it.

I quickly move over to Lilly, grab her by the shoulders, and forcefully plant my lips on hers. Lilly takes a few seconds to assess the situation before she gets into it, wrapping her arms around me and slowly opening my lips. I can vaguely feel my heart start beating faster, but I can’t bring myself to stop. “Eventually, Lilly lightly pushes me away and looks in my mother’s general direction.

“Was that enough to convince you?” I bring myself to look at my mother. Her body is tense, eyes wrenched open, and she might even be shaking a bit. It’s either a massive build up of anger or- *Fwump*- she’s in shock.

“M-mom?” the nurse pops up from behind his desk and takes her pulse and other vitals.

“She’s fine, just unconscious. Fainting as a response to shock must run in your family Nakai.”

“Uh... I guess.”

“Do you know where she’s staying?”

“I can’t remember, sorry.”

“Alright then, I’ll just ask around. It’s not like this is the first time this has happened. You two go back to your rooms.”

“Uh, thanks.” Lilly and I both turn and begin to leave the room.

”One other thing Nakai-” He throws a box into my hands.”-take those in case you and Satou have another moment. I’ll look into getting your new medication.” I look at the box and nearly faint again before I slam it into my pocket and try to catch up with Lilly.

“Hisao? What did the nurse need?”

“L-Lilly, could you never ask about that again?”

“Hmmm? If that’s what you want.”

(Time Skip)

[Keita]

I really love this story. Mostly because I like Lilly so much but also ´cause you did a really good job with the annoying character of his mother. It´s nice seeing them fight over Hisao and seeing Lilly win. You´re pretty good!

[chaix]

"Unlike in sports, the game of war has no set time limit and no points are awarded. so how do you determine the winners and the losers?"-Andrew Waltfeld.
It's probably not over, i'm having some fun writing their little war. I'm currently debating whether to stick Lilly, Akira and Hisao's family in a cabin for xmas and seeing how long I can go without destroying the place.

something I wanted to ask though: is anyone getting confused mid-conversation without the tags?

end-
I’m woken up by a loud ringing in my ears. I reach to kill the sound of my alarm but it doesn’t stop the god awful noise.

“What the...?”

I finally locate the source, my phone.

“Who is it?”

“Hicchan?”

“Mom? Why are you calling this early?”

“Early? It’s nearly noon, this is actually the third time I’ve called.”

“Well I was asleep. Are you feeling... better?”

“My memory’s a bit foggy around when I fainted, but nothing worse than what I’m used to.” the follow up question goes unasked, I’ve already heard enough stories about my mother to know I don’t want to hear another.

“So uh... about me and Lilly-”

“Can we talk about that later?”

“How much later?”

“Maybe dinner, maybe tomorrow, maybe never.” Teasing your son like a high school girl, dad must’ve been driven insane when he went through her actual high school years.

“Then what do you want to do? I’m free until six.”

“And then?”

“Want a lie or the truth?”

“Question answered, I’ll try not to keep you from your... uh, date.” Maybe when she fainted it triggered some kind of pent up chemical release that caused her to become more of an adult. ”I mean, we wouldn’t want people to say you dumped a girl for your mother.” Okay, maybe I was a bit hasty to say she was an adult now.

“Give me an hour and a half and I’ll meet you in town.”

“How about I give you forty-five minutes to meet me at your dorm?”

“Why here?”

“Well I’d like to see your school.” What a... reasonable request. Damn it, stop switching between a high school girl and someone I can actually consider my mother!

“Alright then, since you’re being reasonable I’ll be down soon.”

I skip several unnecessary steps in my routine and meet my mother downstairs.

“So... you don’t go out like that normally do you?”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“The colours are off, I don’t like your hair and your shirt isn’t tucked in.”

“My favourite colours, I’ve always had my hair like this and I don’t have a uniform check today.”

“So where are you showing me first?”

“I assume you don’t need to see the nurse’s office so how about my classroom?”

I walk up the now familiar stairs without pause. I must be going faster than I thought because she seems to have a problem keeping up.

“Well here it is.” I open the door and she walks inside.

“Your desk is...?”

“Right side, second from the back.”

“This one?” she moves next to Shizune’s desk.

“Far right. If the student council president catches you messing with her desk you’ll be dead.”

“Hmmm this is Satou-”

“Shicchan, there’s no one- oh... Hisao and?”

“My mother. Mom, this is Shizune, the student council president and her interpreter Misha.”

“Awww for a second I thought you might be cheating on Satou.” Shizune signs something to add.” Oh yeah, what are you doing here? It’s Sunday.”

“Showing my mom around school, as far as I know there’s no rule against it.”

“Just be quick Hicchan, this is a school not a park.”

“Yeah yeah, you’re done looking at my classroom right?”

“I guess so.”

We leave the room and continue on. Our next stop is the library. It goes as I expect: Yuuko looked about as uncomfortable as when I first met her, my mother does nothing to help her nervousness, and I get my mother out before Yuuko has a small breakdown. Then I decide to take her to our personal refuge, the tea room. I slowly open the door, expecting to find an empty room...

“Hmm? Is that you Hisao?”

“Hi-Hisao?”

Reminds me of the first time I met Lilly... except for the person behind me.

“Oh, you two are here?”

“Yes, we both woke up a bit later than usual so we chose to have lunch now. My I assume...?”

“Hello... Satou.”

“Good afternoon Mrs. Nakai.”

“M-Mrs. Nakai?”

“Oh right, Hanako this is my mother, mom this is Hanako Ikezawa.”

“H-hello m-Mrs. Nakai.”

“Hicchan, are all your friends girls?” there’s one out of nowhere. Though when I think about it-

“Uh... I guess so. The only guy I talk with regularly makes me want to hit him.”

“Oh so you’ve got a little harem going don’t you?” I resist several urges, mostly because hitting your mother is of course wrong, but a little voice in my head reminds me that she can probably beat the hell out of me.

“I have no such aspirations, and you shouldn’t be encouraging your son to do something that stupid.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“For one, I’d like to avoid making my life hell. Plus I don’t think that someone who has only dated one person should talk about that” I calmly sit down beside Lilly after taking my shots. My mother takes the seat beside Hanako. The four of us sit in silence until Hanako apparently can’t take it anymore.

“W-would you like some tea?”

“Hmm? Yes please.”

“Could I have a cup of tea too Hanako?”

“S-sure.” She quickly hurries around making two cups of tea.

“Thank you Hanako.”

“Thank you. Your hair is quite beautiful by the way.” The complement causes Hanako to freeze. I guess she’s more kind to any girl I’m not dating.

“... W-what?”

“Your hair, I’ve wanted long hair like that since I was younger than you.”

“Th-thank... you?”

“H-hang on, Lilly’s hair is just as long. Why are you complementing Hanako and not-?”

“Because I like injured puppies.”

“Ah, you’re a person who cares for those who you believe to be less ... capable or fortunate than yourself?”

“Hurt animals, crying kids in the park, stray cats, the list goes on and on.”

“So I assume that you consider anyone who you consider in a more advantageous position to be an enemy?”

“People who are capable don’t need my help, if they’re already happy where they are, they don’t need anything else.”

“Then I can assume this is why you are-”

“Uh, I can answer that Lilly; she just doesn’t want anyone taking her stuff. Every last one of those hurt animals she considered her pet, same with the cats.”

“Done being a little smart mouth?”

“Just speaking the truth, Last time someone tried to claim a lost pet from you, you nearly started tearing them apart.” The strike hits hard enough that it quiets her down.

“S-so why did you bring your mother here?”

“She wanted to see the school.”

“Are you planning on going anywhere else?”

“We’ve been to our class, the library and now here. Do I go anywhere else?”

“The indoor gymnasium?”

“Never been there, I don’t take gym remember?”

“The p-pool?”

“Again, never been there.”

“Where do you go?”

“Usually either the library... or here. Occasionally I go to town but that’s about it. I don’t really have a reason to go anywhere else.”

“So what you’re saying is: my son... is a failure?”

“Most of the other male students are not very sociable. We are a very accepting group of people, but we tend to keep to ourselves.”

“What about you two, did you just pick him up?”

“As I recall he got lost trying to find the library, he met Hanako shortly after. So... yes I suppose I did pick him up.” she says it with a smile on her face. I understand that it might be a good memory for her or whatever but still, it that kinda hurts. I mean couldn’t you let me preserve my dignity a little here?

“So my son... is an idiot who can’t even pick up his own girlfriend.” Can you please stop it? I still have some dignity left you know.

“I do not believe that Hisao is incapable, just that it isn’t a priority for him.” thank you for the- “But I will admit that he wasn’t the most... gathered person at times.” And down goes my pride again. Is it really necessary that Hanako and my mother hear about this?

“Well then... I suppose its better you picked him up. At least you haven’t managed to kill him yet.” I think that’s probably the most complementary thing she’s said to Lilly all week. ”My son is an idiot and I am sorry for my behaviour earlier.” an apology? The firsts just keep on coming today. ”I would rather him be with you than... well a great many things.”

“Thank you Mrs. Nakai, May I assume that this would constitute a blessing from your husband as well? “

“... He’ll just be happy his son has a girlfriend.” She says this with disapproval in her voice. I’m sure he does care who I date, he just isn’t as vibrant about it. “I won’t say you’re my first choice though, or my hundredth, in fact I’d prefer this little girl over you.” Hanako pretty much shuts down and I’m trying to sort this out in my mind.

“Skipping the last comment, you’re actually going to stop driving me insane?”

“If you call more often, I won’t need to come back; unless I really get another urge to see you again that is.”

“Heh doesn’t sound that much different from now.”

“If he was to call you once a week, would that be sufficient? I am sure I can remind him to call you.” Lilly seems to be in a hurry to finish this. I subtly check my watch; it’s only two so she’s not worried about our date. “Hisao, would you be able to call her on Saturday?”

“I guess so, Sunday’s already uh- booked and I’ll have homework every other day.”

“Good, now Mrs. Nakai, is that fine with you?”

“I guess so.”

“then I think I should inform you that the train going to your city only comes through our town once every six hours and If I am able to recall the schedule correctly the next one leaves in a few hours.”

“Don’t worry, if I miss it I can just stay another day.” I look at her with a ‘please don’t’ painted on my face.

“Muto‘s going to hammer us with homework tomorrow so I really won’t have much time this week.” Read between the lines mom: please leave before you harm this relative peace we now have.

“Alright then, I guess your father’s probably bored and reading the paper by now. He must be miserable.”

“Want me to head down to town with you?”

“Nope, I’m good. You need to get ready right?”

“Well yeah, but I can at least see you off right? We can stop at the train station right?”

“We do usually stop there after the park.”

“Alright then. Anything you want to see before you leave?”

“I’m good, though now I kinda want to see Hicchan on his date.”

“Not happening, we’ll be down before the train leaves okay?”

She reluctantly agrees to let me walk her down to the gate where we parted so I can go do my homework and get ready.

(Time skip)

“Over here!” my mother begins waving to us from the other side of the station. It breaks the usual calm of the station. I gently pull Lilly along through the crowd toward the raised hand.

“Hicchan, you’re lucky your girlfriend is blind. That is not what you should look like on a date.”

“I didn’t choose it for colour, Lilly-“

“I told him I preferred the feel of this.”

“Oh I guess that makes sense. I assume your friend picked the dress?”

“Yes she did.”

“It’s odd, it looks very good on you but I can still tell she chose it.”

“Got all your stuff?”

“Yep, didn’t come with much more than my clothes anyways.”

“Alright then, I’ll call next week. If I see you again before Christmas I’ll be ignoring you completely.”

“Heh, I might just try to test that.” please don’t, I don’t want to know what you’d do.

*Bing pong* “that’s my cue, I love you Hicchan” she proceeds to hug me, it’s not as mortifying as I thought... well until I feel her hand slip into my back pocket. My weird meter just hit a whole new level.

“And miss Satou... if my Hicchan ever says that you caused him pain. You’ll be hearing from me.” the last part is said with a smile on her face. Since it’s not for Lilly’s benefit, I can only assume that she’s taking some kind of dark pleasure in thinking of punishment and revenge. From experience, I can only assume that it is both effective and creative.

She grabs her bag and gets on the train. I scan the windows to check for her, she must be on the other side.

“Shall we go?”

“I want to stay here until the train leaves. Is that’s alright with you?”

“Of course, we came to see her off.”

“I want to make sure it leaves with her on it.”

“If that’s what you want.”

I watch the train leave, and once I’m reasonably sure it’s gone I turn back to Lilly.

“Shall we get going?”

We head out of the station and begin our usual path around the park, though it’s an hour and a half earlier than usual. I use my free hand to check my back pocket and pull out the piece of paper that my mother slipped in. Turns out to be a list of suggestions for me to try, I dismiss the ones that I can’t do, whether that be because the town lacks the facilities, or that I don’t have the nerve to go through with them. Most of them are... more reasonable than I expected, coming from someone who doesn’t like the thought of me dating.

“Argh, guess I’ll have to thank her later”

“For?”

“Just some ideas she gave me.”

[Mirage_GSM]

Nope, it's fine without tags, thank you.
I like the story, but still some nitpicks:
“Sicchan, there’s no one- oh... Hisao and?” - missing an "h"
“Uh... I guess so. The only guy I talk with regularly makes me what to hit him.” - ...

Also regarding fainting:
When people faint due to stress or excitement, it's because their blood-vessels expand and the blood falls down into their legs so their brain doesn't receive enough oxygen. Lying on the floor is usually enough to allow the blood to reach the brain again and make them come around.
So when they don't come around after a few minutes it's usually something more serious than a fainting spell...
However this fainting spell is needed by the plot, so never mind.

[kosherbacon]

No major confusion, since you're just about breaking up the dialog often enough with narrative. Just to tighten things up in the future, consider incorporating speech into narration like:

Hanako squeaked, quietly disrobed, and said "Well, maybe just this once. I really need the money."

or

"I'd like three beer-battered fried Twinkies, a funnel cake, some chocolate covered bacon, cheesecake nuggets, and a diet soda," requested Emi.

[chaix]

i'm missing a... why has no one corrected me on that before?!
oh well could've been worse if i wrote more shizune stuff. Advice noted though, thanks guys.

btw kosher does that stuff just come to you naturally?

[Mirage_GSM]

You're not missing a "..."
I just thought the typo would be obvious without comment...
“Uh... I guess so. The only guy I talk with regularly makes me what to hit him.” - "what" -> "want"