Too Close for Comfort - A Post-Yamaku Misha x OC Story (Chapter 5 - 4/29/2025)

guthrum06 · Post by **guthrum06** » Mon Mar 31, 2025 8:53 am

Hi everyone, I'm back with another story! Here's the description for this one:

22-year old Reina Kato is a quiet, gloomy, and introverted university student who recently lost her ability to understand speech as a result of a Traumatic Brain Injury. Now she needs to learn sign language – and fast. However, her teacher – Shiina Mikado – isn’t exactly what she hoped for. She’s perky, loud, and incredibly extroverted, and she’s getting on Reina’s last nerve.

Will Reina get fed up with her new teacher? Or do opposites really attract?

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 (This Post)
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

I just woke up. I feel groggy. And out of it.

I can hear a strange beeping noise. Is that my alarm?

Have to turn it off.

I reach my hand out in an attempt to find it, but I just find bed sheets.

As I become more awake, I realize I have the worst headache I’ve ever had. It's a pounding feeling that starts at the base of my skull and goes all the way to my scalp. My body also feels very heavy.

I slowly open my eyes in my search for the offending device. When I do, I see a white ceiling made up of square panels.

Confused by the strange sight, which definitely isn't my home, I turn my head to get more information. When I do, I feel an even more painful pounding at the base of my skull.

It makes me wince, but I have to figure out what's happening. And turn off that damn alarm. It doesn't help that everything's blurry.

Eventually, I can make out a long pole next to my bed that is connected to a beeping machine. I also identify a large window that is letting lots of sunlight into the room.

Just as I start putting things together, someone comes into the room, and they say…something.

“Bzbz bzzbj bzbzj!”

“Wh-what?”

“Bzbz bzbzjz bzjzb!”

The person speaking this unintelligible language approaches the bed. They squeeze my hand and put something on my face, over my eyes. Suddenly, things are no longer blurry.

Oh. I didn't have my glasses on.

With my vision restored, I see someone I know better than anyone - my mother. She looks exhausted. Her brown eyes have bags under them and her normally very stylish shoulder-length hair is in a messy bun. She's also not wearing any makeup, which is unusual.

She's smiling at me and crying. I squeeze her hand back.

My restored eyesight also helps me identify the room I’m in, and it's as I was beginning to suspect - I'm in a hospital.

“M-mom…what’s going on?”

She holds my hand and kisses it before saying, “Bzbzbz zbzjzb zbzjzbz.”

I squint as if that will help me decipher my mom's strange new language, “Why are you talking like that? I don't understand anything. Talk normally.”

My mom frowns and puts her hand on my head and says, “Bzbz bzjzbz bzjzbz.” She gives my hand a squeeze and heads out into the hall.

After that, a nurse comes to the room. She smiles at me and checks my vitals. She tries to talk to me too, but I don't understand anything. Then she leaves.

Not long after that, another hospital worker of some sort comes into the room all smiles. She gives my mom a hug and they have what must be a conversation, but none of it sounds like words to me.

Everyone is speaking in the exact same strange way. I start to feel disoriented and confused. Like I woke up in an alternate dimension where almost everything is the same. Except humans now speak much differently. It doesn't even sound like a language. It's more like static. Or buzzing.

I can tell that people are speaking. And everyone but me can understand one another. And based on their reactions I think people understand me . But I can't make any sense of anything anyone says. Not a single word.

An alternate dimension isn't very likely. But maybe I lost my mind? I am in a hospital after all.

The woman who hugged my mom smiles at me and waves before leaving the room. I wave back, awkwardly.

Then my mother stands at the foot of the bed, looking increasingly worried and occasionally saying something unintelligible. It doesn't make me feel any better.

Luckily we aren't alone for too long, as a doctor enters the room with the nurse from before.

The doctor, after listening to my lungs and heart with a thoughtful look on his face, sits down next to my bed and pulls out a notepad. He's a tall, thin man, probably in his 50s. His receding hairline gives him a severe widow's peak. He has very kind eyes that make me feel comfortable.

He writes something on his notepad and shows it to me.

Can you read this?

I look at my mom, who plasters a fake smile on her face when I look at her. Then I turn back to the doctor, “O-of course I can.”

He nods, gives me a thumbs up, and flips to the next page of his notepad and starts writing again.

Can you write your name for me?

He hands me the notepad and pen, and I write, “Reina Kato.” My movements felt a little sluggish, but my handwriting looks the same as it usually does. He must be satisfied too, because he nods and takes back the notepad.

Then he asks me two dozen more questions. He writes them down and I respond verbally. He asks my age, who my mother is, what year it is, what university I go to, and so on. He’s clearly trying to make sure I have it together. I feel kind of relieved that I’m able to answer all of his questions, as it makes me feel less crazy. But by the time we’re on the 20th question, I’m starting to get frustrated and impatient. I’d really like to know what the hell is going on.

Finally, he writes a question related to what I’m most confused about.

Do you remember what happened? To put you in the hospital?

I close my eyes and think for a moment, “The last thing I remember is…I was riding my bike home from university. I think.”

He nods and writes:

A car swerved into the bike lane and clipped your bicycle. You had only minor bruises and abrasions on your body. But you hit your head very hard. You were unconscious when the ambulance got there. Once you were here, it was clear you had suffered a significant Traumatic Brain Injury. You've been in a shallow coma for 10 days.

I frown and look at my mom for confirmation. She nods.

That explains the pounding headache. I’m pretty mad this happened even though I wear a helmet. But I guess I would probably be dead if I wasn’t wearing it.

“But…I'm okay now?”

The doctor nods and writes his next note.

There is nothing life threatening. And now that you’re awake, it’s clear you’ve retained your cognitive function. We will do some more tests and a brain scan, but the prognosis is very good.

That’s a relief, but…

“Then…what’s going on? Why do you all sound so strange?”

He frowns and clicks his pen a few times. He takes a second to write his next message.

Can you hear the tapping of my pen?

He taps the pen on the wall. I can definitely hear it.

I point to the heart monitor, “Yeah. And the beeping of this really annoying machine.”

My mom chuckles so I add, “And I just heard my mom's laugh.”

The doctor laughs too and writes his next message.

What does it sound like when we speak?

Just as I finish reading his message, he says, “Bzbz bzbz jbzbzj.”

He points to my mother with his pen. She says, “Bzbz bzj.”

I sigh in frustration, and think over how to respond, “It's like…sound with no meaning. Kind of like…cicadas buzzing, almost.”

The doctor nods and writes the lengthiest message so far. I get impatient watching him write. The longer he takes, the more worried I get.

When he finally finishes he hands me his notepad so that I can read his long message. My mom comes and reads over my shoulder.

Sometimes Traumatic Brain Injuries can damage the brain and affect our senses. Based on your injury and what you have described, it is likely that the part of your brain for understanding speech was damaged. You can hear, and you can speak and compose language yourself, but you can't process the meaning of incoming speech. This is called auditory verbal agnosia.

My heart sinks as I read these words.

I look at him, “So…I won't ever understand people again? Is there any way to fix that part of my brain? Is there a surgery or something?”

My mom hands him back the notepad and looks as eager to hear his answer as I am. It doesn’t take him very long to write his response.

No. I'm sorry.

My mom clings to my shoulder and starts to cry. I do my best to hug her while hooked up to everything. I want to cry too, but I'm so overwhelmed I can't. This almost doesn't seem real to me.

The doctor takes in our reaction and starts writing something.

You can still lead a full life.

I find myself converting my would-be tears into anger.

I cross my arms and shoot him my best glare, “Easy for you to say. It isn't happening to you. You can still understand people! I have to spend the rest of my life having people write things down for me. So don't tell me it's ‘fine.’” I aggressively use air quotes for the last word before recrossing my arms aggressively.

He nods and gives me a contrite expression before writing something new.

You're right. I'm sorry. What I should have said is that this SUCKS. And it's going to be very hard. But I will do everything I can to help find a path for you to have the fullest life possible.

I uncross my arms, “That's better. So you've seen this before?”

He nods.

“So what's the next step?”

Well, you will be here for a while so we can manage your pain, monitor you, and you can recover a little more.

I nod, “I get that. I mean, what's the first step on my path to this full life you keep talking about?”

Learning sign language. And how to read lips.

I look down at my hands, “Oh. That sounds…tough. But I guess I don't have much of a choice.”

My mom asks for the note pad and writes.

I'll learn sign language too, sweetie. I want to still be able to talk to you.

I smile at her, “Thanks. That would be nice.”

I get discharged tomorrow. Counting the week and a half I was unconscious, I've been here for 20 days. I'm more than ready to go home.

Right now my mom is on the phone with my university.

I was halfway through my last semester when this happened. My mom is trying to find out what accommodations they can give me.

My professors were all willing to give me ‘incompletes’ so that I can finish up their classes at some point in the future. But I asked my mom if she could find out the specifics of how I can finish up my degree. I'm getting anxious about the details.

After all, I'm never going to understand another lecture.

I'm flipping through the most recent issue of Comic Yuri Hime which I've already read five times over the last week. At this point I'm mostly just looking at the cute pictures. Pictures of cute girls holding hands and kissing always raises my spirits a little bit.

I'm trying to tune out my mom's phone conversation. It's not like I can understand what she's saying, and trying to figure it out drives me a little bit crazy.

I suppose I should be glad that I can still speak, write, and read. It could have been worse.

I was never one who talked to others a whole lot anyway. In school, I was that weird quiet girl in the corner who never talked to anyone. I always felt different and out of place. I just sat at my desk and read during breaks and lunch, barely saying a word to anyone.

I've always been a mousy little tomboy. I don't like wearing girly clothes. I don't wear makeup. I keep my hair really short. That's what has always felt right to me. But this had the unfortunate effect of getting me bullied by the boys and girls. So keeping to myself was the best option.

I've maybe gotten a little more social since then, but I still like spending time alone in my room wrapped in a blanket and reading more than I like spending time with anyone. I like the quiet peace of solitude.

I'm going to university for creative writing. Because I want to write stories like the ones I like to read. In fact, I've already written a few short stories that have won some inter-university awards.

There isn't very much I like about myself. But I'm very proud of my writing and what I have accomplished. Writing is my favorite thing in the whole world.

So, as challenging as it is that I can't understand speech anymore, I think I would be even more upset if I couldn't read or write. I'm glad those parts of my brain made it through unscathed.

But…not being able to speak to my mom normally is tough. She is by far the person I spend the most time with. It's just been me and her against the world my whole life. She had me when she was only 19. And she had very little support. The guy didn't take responsibility and her family disowned her.

There were some tough years when I was little. My mom had to work multiple jobs to support us, mostly as a waitress. But after about 10 years she worked her way up to manager and co-owner at a cafe that she helped make super popular. She put me through university and everything.

She's everything I'm not. Beautiful, feminine, a social butterfly, proactive, and strong. I wouldn't blame her for being disappointed that I turned out the way I did.

But I know she doesn't. She's an amazing mom who is always there for me. Like right now.

Luckily we'll be able to communicate more effectively soon. Even though she is here with me, I kind of miss her at the same time, since actually having a two-way conversation takes extra steps now.

The hospital gave us the number of an agency that helps people like me, who suddenly lose their ability to communicate. They offer intensive sign language courses and will even come to your home. This is ideal for me, the shut-in that I am.

We picked the most intensive course - 4 hours a day, 6 days a week. My mom is only working half days for the next couple of months so she can learn. It starts the day after tomorrow.

It all sounds intense, but it's what we need if we want to be able to communicate in the near future. And what I need to be able to communicate at all.

My mom pats me on the shoulder, pulling me out of my head, and shows me a note she wrote,

I spoke with disability services. They said they would set things up for you to finish your courses when you're ready. They said it would be no problem. They will have helpers transcribe lectures for you and make sure you can have the course material in a way you can understand it.

Huh. I'm ‘disabled’ now. I hadn't really thought about it in those terms. Like…I'm not DEAF, so I didn't think of it as a disability. But I guess not being able to understand speech is a pretty massive limitation.

“Thank you. That's good to hear.” I chuckle wryly, “I guess I should say ‘good to read’ but that doesn't seem right.”

My mom laughs and sits down on my bed and writes another message. Then she shows it to me and takes my hand.

We'll get through this, you and me. Just like we always have.

I nod, “Yeah, we will. Hopefully soon you won't have to write so much. I’m pretty anxious to start learning.”

I just took a bath. Now I'm going downstairs to the kitchen. I took a bath last night too, my first night back home. It was amazing being able to take a real bath after all that time in the hospital. That’s why I decided to take another one this morning. I almost didn’t want to get out, but I should get something to eat before the teacher shows up.

As I'm pondering what might be for breakfast, I'm surprised by what I hear as I head down the stairs.

My mom is talking to someone. I don't know what they are saying of course, but I think I recognize mom's voice. Or at least…the sound I hear when she speaks.

“BZBZ BZBZBZJ BZBZ. Wahaha_”

I can’t tell much about the other person, other than that the buzzing sound they make is louder than anyone else I have heard so far. And they have a silly laugh. My mom is laughing along with them, too.

I double check the time on my phone.

It's only 8 a.m., the instructor shouldn't be here for an hour. Is it someone else? Maybe someone from the cafe dropped by. But I doubt it. We never have people over. My mom knows I'm bad with people in general, and now that I can't talk to people it's even worse.

When I reach the kitchen, I see that my mom is eating breakfast and chatting with a young woman who is probably about my age. She has short, shaggy light brown hair that frames her face, and light brown eyes that are almost golden.

My first thought about her appearance is that she's beautiful. This makes me very anxious.

They both notice that I've entered the room, and the woman I don't know stands up and gives me an excited wave. An overly excited one, really. She's smiling ear to ear and moving her hand like crazy.

Art by Lucio Neru

What is she so HAPPY about?

Rather than return the strange but very attractive woman's wave, I look at my mother quizzically. She gestures towards the woman, who has pulled a small white board out of a briefcase. She gets out a marker that squeaks a little as she writes a message. Then she turns it toward me.

I'm Ms. Mikado, your instructor! It's very nice to meet you! I'm excited to work with you and your mom!

I feel very surprised by the message’s contents.

“Um…I'm Reina. A-aren't you…a l-little young?” Ugh, my voice just cracked.

Miss Mikado gives me an annoyingly playful wink and erases her first message before writing a new one.

Reina, it's not nice to ask a woman her age!

But if you have to know, I'm 25! I've been teaching full time for 3 years, and I got some experience teaching in high school and university, too!

She even comes off as unnecessarily excited in her writing. It's like she thinks the exclamation point is the only way to end a sentence.

I scratch my head in confusion, “Okay, then. But…a-aren't you really early?” Ugh, my voice cracked again! And I was trying really hard that time.

She puts her hands on her hips and lets out a “Wahahaha_” before writing another message.

I sure am! I wrote it down wrong in my planner! Woops!

Feel free to eat breakfast and enjoy your morning! We'll get started around 9! Don't mind me!

This woman who only knows one form of punctuation and can't even schedule things correctly is supposed to teach me something? Something crucial for me to have anything resembling a normal life?

Color me skeptical.

I look at my mom who gives me a big smile.

My mom likes her I guess. But I can already tell that our personalities clash. I'm a reserved, gloomy, quiet person and Miss Mikado is an over-the-top, bubbly, loud person.

Throw in the fact that my already terrible social anxiety gets worse around people my own age - especially girls I'm attracted to - and this intensive sign language class is now looking pretty awful.

Couldn't they have sent a relaxed old man or something?

seannie4 · Post by **seannie4** » Mon Mar 31, 2025 12:34 pm

Looks pretty interesting! Haven’t seen a Misha centred fic in a while, so curious to see where it goes.

I’m assuming this Misha is the good end Misha… right?

SilentM · Post by **SilentM** » Mon Mar 31, 2025 9:14 pm

I can already tell this premise is going to be a lot of fun.

guthrum06 · Post by **guthrum06** » Wed Apr 02, 2025 11:38 pm

seannie4 wrote: Mon Mar 31, 2025 12:34 pm
I’m assuming this Misha is the good end Misha… right?

I wonder...

violethatestime · Post by **violethatestime** » Fri Apr 04, 2025 11:24 pm

Loving this so far and I'm excited to see where it goes from here! Best of luck!

piroska · Post by **piroska** » Sat Apr 05, 2025 6:23 pm

This is a very unique concept I have never seen done before, and a very promising start. I am looking forward to more!

On a side note, you might be overtaking Sharp-O for the title of "sentient typewriter."

guthrum06 · Post by **guthrum06** » Mon Apr 07, 2025 9:10 am

It's time for my first sign language lesson.

I'm going into this with lots of negative feelings both about myself and my teacher.

I don't think she is experienced enough or sharp enough to do this. I mean, she didn't even get here at the right time.

I am also very annoyed by her ‘genki girl’ personality. It’s like she thinks she’s some kind of cutesy manga character. I mean, she’s even wearing a matching hair pin and bracelet with little hearts on them! The only thing she’s missing is hair that is a completely unrealistic color. I like manga, but a lot of those stock character archetypes would be super annoying if you ever met them in real life, and Ms. Mikado is living proof of that.

On top of all of that, I'm very anxious. I am already pretty bad at warming up to strangers. But I'm even worse with her. I really don't want her to know I think she's cute for a whole host of reasons.

Basically, my mind is a complete mess.

Seems like a good environment for learning something that is crucial for me to have anything resembling a remotely normal existence in society, right?

My mom and I are sitting on the couch in our living room, while Ms. Mikado has connected her laptop to a portable projector she brought with her. She is projecting her screen onto a bare wall. She's standing by her laptop to our right and appears to be getting things set up. Her big smile still hasn't left her face at any point in the hour since I met her.

No one can be that happy all the time. I wish she'd just relax. She doesn't have to smile constantly.

She opens a Word document and types,

“Reina, before we start - I want to make sure the information I have about your hearing is right.”

At least she doesn't use so many exclamation points when she types.

I turn towards her with a nod and gesture for her to continue.

“You can't understand speech at all, right?”

I reply, “R-right. I can speak. And hear. B-but I can't understand speech.” Is my voice ever going to stop cracking around her?!

Ms. Mikado looks pensive for a moment. As pensive as one can look while smiling like an idiot, anyway. She's tapping her finger on her chin. That moment stretches into several.

No surprise there. She's too young and inexperienced. She's in over her head already. Maybe this will allow me to get someone else to teach us. Someone more relaxed. And old. And male.

Seizing the opportunity, I channel as much courage as I can into my voice, “I-is there a problem? If my condition isn't something you've dealt with before, maybe we should get someone else.” Ugh, it still wasn’t great, but I at least didn’t sound like a scared kitten.

My mother clicks her tongue and glares daggers at me, but I do my best to ignore her.

Ms. Mikado's smile never falters as she types.

“I haven't taught someone with your specific condition before.”

She gives me a playful wink before continuing to type.

“But don't worry, I'm gonna do great! I spent the weekend thinking about how I would approach this and talked it over with some of my colleagues too.”

I continue pretending to be confident as I say, “Wouldn't one of those colleagues just be better if you haven't taught someone like me?”

My mom clicks her tongue again. This time she lightly taps me on the leg and gives me an even more intense look than before. Her jaw is clenched and her eyes are narrowed. My mom’s never hit me before. Or even looked like she was about to. But right now I think she’s pretty damn close.

Ms. Mikado starts to type. She's still smiling, but her eyes are less playful, and more serious.

I wanted her to stop smiling so much, but now I feel like a jerk for causing her to look a little less happy. I…probably went too far.

“I think I will do a very good job. But if you disagree once we get started, we can talk about that.”

She makes eye contact with me, but I frantically look away, feeling embarrassed for my behavior.

She's annoying, sure. And she makes me very nervous. The first and only other time I was immediately attracted to a girl that I met, it did not end well. So it's tempting to just…get someone else where that's not a problem.

But I should give her a chance at least. Besides, she’s so annoying that it’s not like I’m going to fall for her or anything.

I'm brought out of my head when my mom claps me on the shoulder and looks at me with raised eyebrows. She subtly tilts her head in Ms. Mikado’s direction. I know what she wants me to do. I do my best to give her a look that says, ‘I was gonna do it anyway!’

I quietly say, “I-I'm sorry. I shouldn’t h-have started questioning you before we’ve even started. I'm just…um…nervous.”

Ms. Mikado smiles at me, her eyes become playful again, and she waves her hand dismissively before typing,

“It's okay. I know that this is all very stressful for you. It makes sense that you’re worried about my experience and stuff.”

She gives me what must be the fourth playful wink of the last hour and a half and then types,

“This probably won’t be the last time you get frustrated with me. It’s part of learning. But I promise I’m really really good! And that you’ll pick up sign language really well with my help!”

I nod and bow my head a little.

She's more mature than she seems at first. And I'm more of a child than I think I am.

I look back up when I hear typing again.

“Anyway, I was just taking one last minute to think about how the lesson plan might be a little different in your situation.”

“B-but isn't sign language the same for everyone?”

She nods and types,

“It is, yes. But how I teach it depends on you. There are lots of different kinds of hearing impairment. I was just taking a sec to confirm whether what I was planning was best for you!”

I nod, “N-now I’m curious – what makes my situation different than most?”

“You can speak perfectly. That means you will have no problem being understood by others, only understanding others. So we need to focus the most on helping you understand others. And that’s where lipreading comes in.”

“D-does that mean we'll spend more time on lipreading than sign language?”

Ms. Mikado shakes her head without hesitation and types a new message.

“Problem is, lip reading isn’t perfect! It's a useful tool to use to help you understand things better, but not one that will let you understand everything. Or even close to it. We’ll talk about it more later today. Point is, normally lipreading is something I wait a little while to do, but I think we should get started with it sooner.”

"Oh. Okay then. You're the expert.”

She really is. Clearly. Just because she's a goofy airhead doesn't mean she doesn't know what she's doing.

She gives me another wink and then her smile gets even wider, which I didn't think was possible. Her smile now is so warm and bright that it makes it look like her face was only neutral before.

She might always smile, but I'm already picking up on there being a range of DIFFERENT smiles.

She types,

“This first week, we'll do 3 hours of sign language, and then 1 hour of lip reading. We'll have a 10 minute break every hour, and a 30 minute break for lunch. Does that work for both of you?”

After my mom and I both agree she types,

“This week, we will learn how to sign all 46 Kana. Once you know them all, you can sign almost anything by spelling it out! We're going to start with our names.”

Ms. Mikado opens up PowerPoint and springs up from her chair looking very excited. A sideshow starts, and we make our way through the kana slowly, but surely.

The whole time, I feel strange looking at her so much. Like I'm leering at her or something. And I worry she can tell I think she's pretty just from how I'm looking at her. But I repeatedly tell myself I have to so that I can learn how to sign each kana. I can’t very well learn sign language if I’m not looking at my teacher when she is showing us how to do the signs.

A few times when we make eye contact I quickly look away. I'm bad at eye contact in general, but with her it's really hard.

…

It's time for our lunch break.

After practicing the kana, my mom and I learned how to spell out our names. And how to ask someone what their name is. There's going to be a lot of rote memorization for me to get this down all the way. But this intensive class will certainly help. I'm going to constantly go through the kana until I get them right. It isn't exactly efficient, but Ms. Mikado is right, once you know those, you can spell out almost anything.

It's also good that this intensive course will let me reinforce everything on an almost daily basis.

I'm looking forward to giving my mind a break, though. I'm tired from learning, but also tired of Ms. Mikado. She seems to have limitless energy, and it makes me feel like I constantly have to be ‘on.’ Throw in the fact that I'm constantly anxious around her for other reasons, and it's exhausting for me.

I might spend lunch up in my room wrapped in my blanket to recharge my batteries. I bet my cat, Haru, is up there. Normally she’d be downstairs with us, but she's been hiding since Ms. Mikado got here.

She has the right idea. I'd hide from her too if I could. Don't worry Haru, I'll be there soon.

Just as I'm about to announce my plans, I notice my mom and Ms. Mikado are talking about something.

They are both smiling and nodding a lot. Times like these make it clear how badly I need to learn sign language.

They give each other one last smile and nod and then my mom approaches me. She makes like she is holding chopsticks and moving them to her mouth, and points to each of us. Ms. Mikado is wearing a huge smile and nodding enthusiastically.

So much for recharging my batteries. Sorry, Haru.

When I follow the two to the kitchen, I'm surprised when my mom gets some containers of food out of the fridge. I hadn't realized she planned for this. She must have gotten up early. I shouldn’t be surprised though, that’s pretty typical of my mom.

My mouth starts to water at the sight. She makes some amazing lunches, and I haven't enjoyed them since I got hurt.

I mentally cross my fingers hoping for one dish in particular. We all sit down to eat. I make sure to sit far from Ms. Mikado so I don't have to look at her too much.

When I open my lunch, I am very happy to find the pork cutlet I was craving. Her breading has this amazing crunchy consistency and just enough of a soy sauce taste.

There's also a rice ball and some pickled vegetables.

But I’m a brat and I kind of wish this thing was just stuffed full of pork cutlets.

I really, really love meat. Like, probably a little too much. It can definitely improve my mood significantly.

My mom and Ms. Mikado start chatting. I find that I'm relieved that I don't have to take part in the conversation. I pull the hood up on the ratty old hoodie I always wear, and dig into the pork cutlet and tune the two of them out.

Well, my hoodie is kind of like a blanket. I can recharge this way I guess. It would still be nicer to be in my bed with Haru, though.

I close my eyes and let my mind go blank and just enjoy my meal.

I’m brought out of my reverie by a tap on my shoulder. I turn to see a smiling Ms. Mikado right next to me.

I let out a high-pitched “Eep!” and drop my chopsticks.

I feel my cheeks flush, embarrassed that I made such a ridiculous noise and that I was startled in the first place. But I really didn't expect her to be so close to me.

She smells good. Like…some sweet subtle floral scent. I don't know enough about flowers to identify it though.

She apologizes with her eyes and then her gaze lingers on me for a moment. She holds up a finger before pulling out her laptop. She types,

“I have some voice recognition software. I haven't tried it, but it might help right now!”

I'm tempted to tell her I was happy not being a part of things and she shouldn't waste her time. But before I can she opens up a program.

It mostly looks like a blank word document, but then Ms. Mikado says something, and words appear on the screen about a second later.

“Test, test, test.”

She pats me on the shoulder and goes back to talking with my mom.

“Dish it work?”

“I think sew.”

Well, it's better than nothing, I guess. I'd rather be staring into space and eating, though.

I look over at my mom and the smiling Ms. Mikado, who gives me a questioning thumbs up. I respond with an affirmative one.

Ugh, it was nice of her to set this up. A normal person would have felt left out. I'm just…not normal. But that's not her fault, I guess. She is trying to help.

“Thank you. I can um…follow along a little better now.”

My mom says something so I look at the screen,

“That's grape! May bee we should git that pro gram two."

I chuckle, “Yeah, maybe.”

…

We're back in the living room after lunch. It's time for an hour of lip reading.

Ms. Mikado types,

“Today, we're just going to talk about the basics of lip reading.”

She looks at my mom and continues to type,

“And, how you can speak so that you can make it easier on Reina.”

My mom nods with a smile.

So, just the theory today. I suppose that makes sense. I was a little worried that my mom would be wasting time for this, since she doesn't actually need to know how to lip read. She's only learning sign language to communicate with me, and she can understand speech. So she doesn't need to read lips.

But I also really, really, really, really don't want to be alone with Ms. Mikado, so I didn't say anything.

Now I don't feel bad about that.

Ms. Mikado opens up another slide show that says,

“Reading Lips in Japanese “

The first slide says,

“Lipreading is less useful in Japanese than in most languages. “

Leave it to her to use an emoticon.

“Wh-why is that?”

Ms. Mikado gives me a wink and moves to the next slide.

“We use very few consonants that use the lips.”

She points at her own lips, which makes me extra embarrassed so I look away. But then I hear a loud popping sound. Almost like someone was using a fly swatter. I look back up at her, and realize that she must have snapped her fingers.

How does anyone snap that loudly?

She points at her lips again. My instinct is once again to look away, but clearly she wants me to watch. So I grit my teeth and look at her very soft-looking, full lips.

Then she says, “Bzbzbzbzbzbjzbzb bzbzbzbzbzbjzbzbz bzbzbzbzbzj.”

Even though I have no idea what she said, I'm very surprised that she spoke as long as she did and her lips only moved maybe two times. I can already see what she means.

“Wh-what did you say?”

She walks back over to the computer and types,

“It has been very nice to meet you, Reina. I can tell you will be a good student. ” (Kyo wa aete yokatta Reina-san. Kitto ii seito ni naru desho.)

She winks at me when she finishes typing.

You used an emoticon AND you winked!? Just like…pick one.

I ignore her wink and move my own lips to the words she typed.

‘Wa' is the only word that really use the lips in two sentences using lots of common words.

My discouragement must show on my face.

Ms. Mikado waves her hands and gives me an encouraging smile before moving on to the next slide.

“On the bright side, we only have four consonant sounds to learn to recognize! ”

Well. I guess that's true. But how useful can this really be?

After that, Ms. Mikado spends the first lesson telling my mom what she can do to make things easier for me. Like speaking slowly, moving her lips when signing, making sure she is in good lighting, and avoiding growing any facial hair (the two of them shared a laugh about that last one while I was rolling my eyes).

…

I breathe a sigh of relief as I hear the door close. Ms. Mikado just left and I'm utterly exhausted. My mom and I just sat down around the table and I'm eating an extra pork cutlet she set aside for me as a snack.

It tastes way too good for me to feel too embarrassed that my mom makes my lunches and snacks even though I am well into adulthood. And no, this isn't just something she is doing because I got hurt. It's the norm. I've never learned how to cook myself. My mom is always throwing delicious food my way, so there isn't much motivation.

My mom writes on the notepad she now always carries around, and holds it up to me.

So, what did you think?

I sigh, “She's alright. Super annoying though. It's going to be tough being around her so much.”

Of course, half the reason is because she's so freaking pretty I have a hard time looking at her.

But my mom doesn't need to know that.

My mom knows I'm gay, mind you. Ever since middle school. And she's very supportive.

But that doesn't make it any less embarrassing to tell her about this little crush of mine.

My mom clicks her tongue, frowns at me and shakes her head and starts writing.

She didn't used to click her tongue so much. I think she's adapted a new way to express frustration with me now that I can't understand her words. It's…kind of sweet, in an annoying way.

I sigh, “You don't have to write anything. I heard your tongue click. I know you're mad I'm being so negative about her and want to scold me for being a jerk at the start.”

My mom looks back up at me and nods.

I sigh and close my eyes while I massage my temples. I have a headache. I pretty much always have one ever since I woke up in the hospital, although it's usually very minor. Just kind of an annoyance in the background. But I probably over did things a little bit today. It was certainly the hardest I have worked since I got hurt.

I open my eyes and see my mom studying me with concern.

“I should…probably lay down.”

She nods, still looking a little annoyed with me, although it has softened.

“Don't worry…I'll give her a fair shake. She is annoying. I wish she'd just…chill out, instead of being all bouncy and happy all the time. It makes me feel uncomfortable. But…I will say, she also really seems to know what she's doing.”

My mom nods and gives me a soft smile, before I head up to my room for a nap. When I get there, Haru meows and pokes her head out from under my bed.

She's a small calico that is mostly white, but she has lots of little splashes of black and orange that almost make it look like someone spilled paint on her. Only her tail is solidly black and orange. She's a very vocal, needy little thing who doesn't like strangers.

I wonder sometimes whether my social anxiety rubbed off on her, or if she'd be like this anyway. It definitely makes me feel some kinship with her, either way.

I laugh and say, “Come on,” before getting in my bed and wrapping myself with my blanket.

As expected, I hear a meow as Haru jumps on the bed. I extend my arm to let her under the covers, and she sidles up next to me and starts purring.

If I purred, I'd probably be purring too.

This is my happy place. It feels good to be here after such a long, challenging day.

But I have to do all of that again tomorrow. And almost every day after that. God help me.

Author's Note: Thanks to SilentM for making the Japanese in this chapter actually correct!

SilentM · Post by **SilentM** » Mon Apr 07, 2025 3:05 pm

guthrum06 wrote: Mon Apr 07, 2025 9:10 am
The only thing she’s missing is hair that is a completely unrealistic color. I like manga, but a lot of those stock character archetypes would be super annoying if you ever met them in real life, and Ms. Mikado is living proof of that.

Oh you...

guthrum06 wrote: Mon Apr 07, 2025 9:10 am
“It has been very nice to meet you, Reina. I can tell you will be a good student. ” (Kyo wa aete yokatta Reina-san. Kimi wa kitto yo gakusei ni naru desho.)

Is yo here supposed to be yoku - which should then actually just be ii in the present tense? I'm not sure if 'gakusei' is quite right either, it specifically means university student... which isn't technically wrong, but since this tutoring is separate from her college studies I think 'seito' makes more sense?

guthrum06 wrote: Mon Apr 07, 2025 9:10 am
‘Kimi’ and ‘wa’ are the only words that really use the lips in two sentences using lots of common words.

Disclaimer that I'm not a native speaker and I know this is a bit more complicated that I'm about to try to explain it, but it was drilled into me early on that 'kimi' is not used nearly as commonly as we use 'you' in English. Mostly* just because if the subject of a sentence is either 'I' or 'you' you could often drop the subject and leave it implied. And then when you do use an explicit subject, you usually* use the person's name or title. I am oversimplifying, but this jumps out at me because I don't think 'kimi' would be common enough to be the example used for "sentences using lots of common words."

For the above sentences, it sounds more natural to me to either drop 'Kimi wa' entirely, or move the explicit 'Reina-san' to be the subject of the second sentence, letting the first sentence be implicit. Though again, full disclosure, not a native speaker, slap me if my understanding is actually wrong.

guthrum06 · Post by **guthrum06** » Mon Apr 07, 2025 5:20 pm

For the above sentences, it sounds more natural to me to either drop 'Kimi wa' entirely, or move the explicit 'Reina-san' to be the subject of the second sentence, letting the first sentence be implicit. Though again, full disclosure, not a native speaker, slap me if my understanding is actually wrong.

Your knowledge of Japanese is far better than mine - I have rudimentary understanding at best. Most of my knowledge relates to researching Japanese sign language and lip reading -- and it sounds like your sentence is definitely the better one. As long as it's a sentence of her complimenting Reina that involves very few labial consonants, it suits my purposes! I'll change it as you suggest when I get a chance. Thanks!

guthrum06 · Post by **guthrum06** » Tue Apr 15, 2025 9:35 am

It's been about two weeks since my sign language lessons started. Things are going pretty well. Ms. Mikado is annoying and wears a stupid forced smile all the time, but it turns out she’s also a very good teacher. Plus, my mom and I work hard even outside of class to pick things up as quickly as we can. At this point we can very slowly fingerspell using the kana, and we know several common phrases and words. So, my mom uses her notebook only for more complicated stuff.

It's breakfast. I'm just waking up as I eat some grilled salmon, rice, and miso soup my mom made. Well, I'm mostly eating the salmon. I haven’t had any of the race and my miso soup sits untouched apart from a single spoonful that I ate when my mom made me.

Why would I waste time on those things when there's salmon? It's got such a fresh, smokey taste. Perfect for the morning.

It has me in a pretty good mood. But then, my mom holds out her notepad to me with a message on it. I groggily read it and the panic I start to feel suddenly makes me feel more awake.

I think I'll go to work after lunch from now on. It doesn't seem I need to be there for lip reading anymore.

I must have made a face, because my mom frowns and signs one of the handful of common phrases we have learned alongside the kana. It doesn't fit perfectly, but I know what she means.

I reply, <I'm okay.> Then I consider fingerspelling the rest, before realizing I’m not awake enough for that yet. Plus my mom can understand speech, so it’s hard to be motivated to work that hard. So I say, “You know I'm just…socially challenged. But…I think I'm old enough to be okay without my mommy.”

I am definitely way more reliant on my mom than someone my age should be. It's probably healthy (albeit frightening) for me to be on my own today.

My mom laughs and then signs, <Good,> before slowly but methodically spelling things out with the kana, <It…can…be…a…test.>

Apparently it’s not too early for HER. I guess I should step it up with the fingerspelling too.

…

After a morning of sign language lessons and yet another delicious lunch prepared by my mother, it’s time for my lipreading lesson. My mom just left, as planned. She asked me twice whether I was sure it was okay. I was tempted to ask her to stay the second time she asked me, but I was a big girl and told her she could go.

I feel alone and scared but…I'm keeping it under control. I'm not good with strangers, but I'm kind of used to Ms. Mikado at this point. It'll be fine.

I can do this.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath and then I get ready to stand up and head to the living room. But I'm surprised to see Ms. Mikado getting something out of her briefcase while still seated at the table.

It's her white board. She starts writing on it and then turns it towards me when she's finished.

Okay, since it's just the two of us today, why don't we stay here? We'll just work on getting you to recognize the four consonants and you can see my lips up close!

Shit. Shit. SHIT!

I spent a lot of time visualizing being alone with her to make me less anxious for this. But I was just picturing things going on as normal, just without my mom sitting next to me. This is very, very different.

But I can't really object. Up close and in person will probably help. Mostly we've looked at images and watched videos so far. Lots of still photos or short animations showing what each of the consonants looks like on people’s lips. But seeing someone right in front of me move their lips in real time as they would in a normal conversation is probably better.

Even though my heart is in my throat as a result of this unforeseen situation I manage to squeeze out a squeaky, “O-okay.”

Ms. Mikado smiles, and then she pulls up the slideshow on her computer that she’s shown me before, for each of the four regularly used consonants that use both lips in Japanese. We move through each of them as a review, and I do a good job identifying them when they are on the computer screen. Then she sets the laptop aside, before signing, <Ready?>

I nod, and then she moves to the chair next to me and turns it sideways so she’s facing me before taking a seat. I move my seat so I'm more squarely facing her too.

She signs again, <Ready?>

I nod again, feeling even more anxious than I already did because she’s so close to me now. My heart is thumping hard. Maybe a small part of that is because I think Ms. Mikado is so pretty, but I mostly feel scared. I don’t normally let anyone but my mom get this close to me. If she were here I could probably look at her, and she gives me an encouraging smile and I’d be okay. But she’s not here and I’m not okay. My brain is telling me to give up on this lesson and run away.

As I’m doing everything I can to hide how overwhelmed and worried I am about the situation, Ms. Mikado says, “Bz.”

Then she signs a phrase that we learned just for lipreading lessons - <What consonant was that?>

I was looking at her lips. And I saw them move. But my head feels so…swirly and full of fog that I can’t even remember the four consonants I have to choose from. Or what they look like.

She repeats herself saying, “Bz,” and signing, <What consonant was that?> all over again.

The same thing happens. I feel completely overwhelmed. Like I’m experiencing some kind of sensory overload that keeps me from being capable of doing anything.

“U-um….I….”

I can't do this. Not alone. I need my mom or I can't even keep my mind clear enough to process things. Plus it doesn't help that I'm supposed to focus on her freaking lips. I’m sure that’s partly why I’m freaking out. Why does it have to be lips? Why can't looking at a less sensual part of her help me understand what she's saying? Like…her elbow. Why don’t we talk with our elbows?

She narrows her eyes and signs, <Are you okay?>

I weigh how to answer for a moment, but while I do she looks at me with concern and grabs her laptop before typing,

You're very pale and shaky. We can take a break.

I guess I didn’t even hide how anxious I am. I thought I was at least pulling that off, even if I can’t read lips right now. But I’m 0 for 2.

Feeling ashamed, I look away from her and nod. Then she signs, <Can I help? Want a drink?>

I shake my head and then she studies me for a moment before typing,

Are you having a hard time without-,

She stops typing and signs <Your mom?>

I clench my eyes shut and grit my teeth to keep from getting more upset. It doesn't work. I start to feel tight in my chest as my panic grows.

God. She sees right through me. So embarrassing. I guess she can tell I'm a socially awkward shut-in. Pretty freaking pathetic, isn't it? I bet she’s never taught an adult who fell to absolute pieces just because their mommy left. I’m such a fucking loser.

I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.

I hear her start to type again, but I don't dare open my eyes. I don't want to see what she thinks of me.

But then I feel her gently put her hand on mine. It surprises me, and I jerk my hand away. But I realize she is trying to comfort me and get my attention. I count to three and open my eyes.

The first thing I see is her smile. And for the first time, I'm happy to see it. I thought for sure I'd see some cracks in her stupid smiley mask as she silently judged me for being such a loser. Or at best, some pity, with her looking down on the poor girl in front of her. But her smile is still there, and if anything it feels even more genuine than it usually does. I find it hard not to smile back and little.

She points at her screen,

Don't worry! You've really thrown yourself into learning even though what you're going through is super duper hard! It's crazy impressive!

I find myself a little moved by what she typed. Even with the overuse of exclamation points and an asinine emoticon at the end.

She's right. It IS hard. I've been so focused on learning I don't think I've really acknowledged that to myself in a while. It really hasn't been that long since I got hit by a freaking car. I was in a damn coma. I have brain damage.

And here I am working my ass off to learn a new freaking language just so I can live a normal life. Throw in my social anxiety and depression and… it's kind of amazing this is my first break down.

I manage to gather myself enough to sign the first part of my response. <Thank you for saying that.> Then I speak the rest while I look down at the floor, “Still a little embarrassing that my mom not being here makes it s-so much…harder.”

She replies, <We all need our mom sometimes.> And then types,

Especially one as cool as yours!

I laugh, “Y-yeah. She is cool, huh?”

She nods energetically,

Anyway, if you aren't in the right headspace for learning today, we won't do it. We haven't wasted any time so far.

Oh thank God.

“A break is a good idea.” <Thank you for coming.> “I'll do better next time.”

She smiles mischievously and signs, <It’s not time to go,> she points to the clock, which clearly says it is only 1:20, 40 minutes before our lessons usually end.

Ugh. I thought she said we would take a break.

“W-well…what should we do?”

She signs, <Talk! I love to talk.>

I laugh wryly, “You don't say.”

She grins before typing,

I just figure we can chat! And mix in sign language when it's stuff we have covered.

She stops typing and signs, <Is that okay?>

That doesn't really sound like a break…but it is more relaxed I guess. I feel more confident with sign than with lipreading. And I've calmed down anyway. Thanks to her.

<Okay.>

You've got a really good thing going here--

I'm a little confused by the last part of her statement, so I ask her to sign it again. But it confirms what I thought she said before.

“Haven't you seen that before?”

She types,

Not never. But it isn't common, either.

I slowly piece my sentence together as I sign, <Wouldn’t...any mom...learn to sign?>

She shakes her head and types,

You'd be surprised. My best friend in high school was born deaf and--

She continues with sign, <Her family doesn't know sign language.>

I'm so stunned that I just blurt out, “That's crazy. Sounds like a crappy family.”

Ms. Mikado laughs awkwardly, <A little bit.>

I'm about to respond with speech, but then I realize I can actually sign what I wanted to ask.

She shakes her head and types,

I wanted to learn before I met her. I specifically went to a school for the disabled because they had a program for sign language.

She pauses for a few seconds and furrows her brow while her fingers stroke the keyboard lightly.

I've never seen her think so long before communicating something.

She continues with sign, <But I did want to be able to talk to her.> She smiles proudly as she types,

It gave me extra motivation. By my last year I was her interpreter!

“That’s actually…really impressive that you improved so fast.”

She crosses her arms and gives me an offended look that would be a lot more effective if she wasn’t also smiling. Then she signs, <Surprised?>

Shit. Well…I kind of am. But given that she does this for a living I really shouldn’t be. Obviously she's good at sign language.

She lets me feel guilty and weigh how to respond for a moment before letting out a loud, “Wahahaha_” and then typing,

I probably wouldn’t have gotten good so fast on my own--

She switches to sign, <But I had a good teacher.>

She goes back to typing,

And I had a very good tutor my first two years! An upperclassman. Someone whose native language was sign who helped out with the class. I did lots of extra lessons with her.

As I process what she said, I find myself marveling at her ability to rapidly switch between typing and sign, while somehow remembering what is part of my vocabulary and what isn't. She didn't sign anything I wasn't able to understand, despite the fact that there are so many things I still don't know.

Just as I'm about to tell her as much, and that her old teacher tutor would be proud of her, she signs, <Okay. Time is up!”>

I surprise myself when I feel a little disappointment that we're done talking.

…

I’m sitting at the dining table and reviewing everything we went over today. I just heard the front door open, so I look up and see my mom who gives me a wave and signs, <How are you?>

<Good. Studying.>

She nods and gives me a smile, before slowly but surely signing, <How was class?>

I sigh and slowly fingerspell, <I…freaked…out.>

My mom frowns and sits down next to me. She gives my shoulder a squeeze and grabs her notebook off the table and writes,

I can stay if it helps you. One hour at work won’t make a big difference.

I take a deep breath and sign, <Thank you,> before continuing with speech, “But I think I’ll be okay. She was…way more understanding than I expected. So…I’m less anxious about freaking out in front of her now, at least.”

My mom smiles and starts to write. I expect her to be finished pretty quickly. She usually is. But it takes a while, so I go back to studying until she hands me her notebook.

It doesn’t surprise me she was good with it. She’s a very sweet person, you know. It isn’t an act, like you seem to think. She isn't ‘making’ herself smile. She loves what she does and cares about her students. And I’m sure you’re not her first student to get upset. She teaches people in challenging situations for a living, you know? She couldn’t do that if she weren’t the caring person that she is.

I sigh as I read her message, realizing that my mom is right that I've been unfair about Ms. Mikado. My first impression about her was wrong, at least in part.

“You’re right. I finally saw all that today.” I smile mischievously at my mom, “It doesn’t make her less annoying, though.”

My mom clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes at me in exasperation. It was the reaction I wanted so I laugh.

“But…it does make me feel more comfortable around her. Knowing that she is so understanding…a-and stuff. So I will be okay on my own with her for an hour each day.”

…

It's close to midnight. Haru and I are lying in bed. Her warm, purring little body is pretty soothing. Despite feeling comfortable and sleepy, I'm staring up at the ceiling fan. My head is swimming with thoughts, but in a good way. I don't feel anxious or scared. But I'm still feeling emotions so intensely that I can't sleep. But they are positive emotions.

Today was such a good day. Which sounds crazy because I had a panic attack. But Ms. Mikado was so cool about it that I feel less stressed than ever about my lessons with her.

She might be super annoying and all…unnecessarily bubbly all the time, but I think I saw the benefit of that today. Her positive energy and smiles are…kind of infectious. They were what I really needed today when all I had was negative feelings about myself.

It means so much to me that she didn't look down at me at all for being a complete mess without my mom. She even helped me put things in perspective and made me feel better about myself.

No one but my own mother has ever been as accepting of what a mess I am between the ears.

She even gave me a break when I needed it. And even though I was annoyed she didn't just leave, I realize now that she used all that time to encourage me and make me more comfortable. I think if she just let me escape, I would have so much anxiety about our lesson tomorrow. But since we talked things over, I'm not anxious at all.

She even shared some stuff about herself that definitely made me feel better. And it was nice learning a little more about her, too.

Beneath the loud laughter, annoying winks, and cutesy matching accessories, she really is a good person. And a good teacher too. I thought she was going to be a really bad fit for me, but it turns out she might be the perfect person for me to learn from.

Author's Note: My fanfics all take place in the same universe, so you may have actually seen this Misha before, although only in a few cameos. If you've read Yamaku: The Place Where Dreams Come True, Misha's sign language tutor should sound familiar, because it's Akane -- the girl who becomes Nagisa's best friend in that story. Misha makes a few appearances in that story, but you don't really need to read it to understand this one. Although it wouldn't hurt either!

guthrum06 · Post by **guthrum06** » Tue Apr 22, 2025 10:13 am

t’s been about four weeks since the start of Ms. Mikado’s lessons, and things continue to progress for both me and my mom. Every day we can communicate a little more effectively, and I’m really happy about that. Losing the ability to understand her has been the hardest thing about all of this, and I’m thankful that Ms. Mikado’s lessons have made that less of a problem.

I’m sitting at the kitchen table, going over everything from class today.

At this point it's part of my routine. Typically, after Ms. Mikado leaves, I eat a snack and then go upstairs and take a nap for an hour, before coming back down to the kitchen and reviewing the day's lessons until my mom gets home. Once my mom gets home, we have dinner, and then study together for about an hour before bath time.

Just as I’m thinking about this routine which I have found I really like, I hear the front door open, signaling that my mom is home from work for the evening. When she arrives in the kitchen with a smile, I sign, <Welcome home.>

My mom rolls her eyes, <Yes. But you have to eat some vegetables too.>

I think she's been letting me eat what I want because I got hit by a car and stuff. But that leeway seems to have run out. Dammit.

With a look that says, ‘sure you will,’ my mom starts making dinner, while I return to studying. Today we went over the words for all kinds of professions. I finally know how to sign ‘writer’ without fingerspelling, which is pretty nice.

After 20 minutes or so I hear a chime notifying me that I've got a new email.

When I open my email I'm surprised to see that I have an email from yoshimura@kodamsha.com titled,

Re: Your Upcoming Yuri Literary Anthology.

I blink several times, as if what I'm seeing is an illusion.

I totally forgot I ever sent the email they are responding to. I sent it the day I got hurt and I only sort of remember a bunch of that day. But seeing this email jogs my memory.

I was on campus that day meeting with my adviser, Professor Yoshitaka. She told me that since I'm graduating soon, I should look for upcoming literary anthologies and magazines that I would like to write for, and send them emails with my CV and a cover letter. I sent several out before I left campus and rode my bike home, and that’s when I got hurt.

My palms start to sweat as I consider what this email might say.

It's been a long time. Almost two months. Surely they wouldn't respond now only to reject me. Right?

Of course the fact I haven’t heard back at all from all of the others probably doesn’t bode well. Maybe they are just being more courteous than the rest, who ignored me.

Only one way to find out.

I take a deep breath and open the email.

Dear Ms. Kato,

Congratulations on your awards and your imminent graduation. We are very impressed with your writing! We would love to hear your pitch for a 20,000-word story that would appear in the anthology, which will be published next year. It will be focused on period romance, so you seem like a perfect fit. Send us a pitch within the next couple of months, and we'll move on from there.

We look forward to hearing from you.

As I read the email, I feel myself smile.

My mom comes over and taps me on the shoulder, <Why so happy?>

I turn my laptop towards her and show her the email. As she reads it a smile grows on her face and then she hugs me and says, “Bzbzbz!”

I can't understand what she said, but I know she's happy for me. Sometimes words don't matter.

There's only one problem…

“I don't have any ideas, mom. I haven't written a word since I got hurt. I'm worried more of my brain got hurt than we thought. The creative part.”

My mom breaks the hug with a frown and asks me to pass over the laptop. I don't know why at first, and then she opens up Word and starts to type slowly, with one finger, while she looks down at the keys.

Is she trying to be like Ms. Mikado? That woman can type really fast. I imagine she talks really fast too, though I can't really verify that.

I laugh, “Mom, you're terrible at typing. Just write it. It would be faster. Heck, fingerspelling might be faster.”

She waves a hand at me dismissively and keeps typing. If we can call it that. I cross my arms and wait patiently as she hunts-and-pecks each individual key. Then she finally shows me her message.

You'll think of something, sweetie. For now, just enjoy the recognition. You're a very gifted writer. This is even more proof of that. They want you to write for them! This is amazing!

I smile at my mom's message, <You're right. Thank you.>

My mom nods and then takes the laptop back and starts hunt-and-pecking again.

I scoff, “If you're going to insist on this, we need to get you some typing lessons on top of the sign language. Maybe Ms. Mikado can come an hour earlier.”

She glares playfully at me as she continues composing her message at a snail’s pace. Eventually, she reveals it to me.

And it's even yuri, so you'll really get to express yourself. No more only having the women in your stories just be really close friends!

I feel a little emotional when I read her message. It almost makes waiting so long for her to type it worth it.

She's right. My short stories so far have all been period dramas about intense friendships between women. I always stop short of making them openly romantic, because I've been writing for various university competitions and publications that would frown upon it at best. I also didn't love the idea of using my real name and screaming ‘I'M A LESBIAN!’ at the entire world.

Other gay people would understand the subtext in the stories I've written so far, but most people don't pick up on it. This time, I'm writing for an audience that expects there to be romance for women. That's really exciting.

Now I just need to think of a story. Let's hope it turns out that part of my brain made it through my accident unscathed.

…

Once again, I'm in bed with Haru and I can't sleep. But for good reasons.

I think I feel…giddy. It's not an emotion I know very well, so I can't be sure. I tried to think of ideas for a story for a couple of hours and didn't get anywhere. Normally I would let that weigh me down, but just the fact a major publisher is asking me to pitch a story idea is just…amazing.

It's all I've ever wanted - to write stories about women falling in love with one another. Even if I don't think it's something I'll ever get to experience myself.

I mean, I've been in love with a girl before. But I don't think one will ever love me back. I accepted that a long time ago. But I can live vicariously through my characters. I'm happy to, even.

All that matters is that I get to write some lesbian romance. And get paid for it! Not a lot, but getting paid at all makes me a professional right?

I'm a professional writer!

At least, I will be as long as I can come up with a pitch and they like it. I have time. I'll think of something.

<Ms. Mikado is bringing lunch today. Be nice.>

It's breakfast, and while I'm trying to enjoy my current meal my mom hits me with some news about our next meal that has me very worried. I'm a creature of habit. I have eaten a lunch my mom made me almost every single day of my life. And she's such a good cook.

Who knows what that silly woman will bring? Can she even cook? She doesn't exactly seem the type.

Of course, I've never even TRIED to cook. But that's not the point…

I shake my head to throw away my childish feelings, <I'm not a kid.>

My mom smiles wryly, <You eat like one.>

Hard to argue with that…

<Good. She feels->, she pauses and slowly fingerspells a word we haven't learned the sign for yet, <...guilty…always eating our food. It's nice of her to bring lunch.>

Fed up with signing for the moment, I say, “How do you know she's bringing lunch anyway? She didn't say she would yesterday.”

My mom holds up her phone and shows me the text conversation with Ms. Mikado. It makes me feel a little jealous. Of both of them. I didn't know they were talking outside of our class.

I bet my mom wishes she had a daughter more like her.

…

It's time for lunch. We learned a lot of food and other meal-related terms for our lesson, so I think she is somehow making lunch a learning experience today. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It doesn't sound very relaxing.

Right now Ms. Mikado is reheating the food she brought. My mom is looking at me pointedly. She doesn't need sign language to say ‘Do you remember what we talked about earlier?’ She's doing it with her eyes.

But it makes me want to be even more defiant. It bugs me that these two are talking outside of class and didn't even invite me into the group text. They probably talk about me and how difficult I always am. My mom is always on Ms. Mikado's side about things too. It’s getting old.

Ms. Mikado comes over to the table and serves each of us rice before placing a large plate in the middle of the table. I don't recognize the dish at all. The good news is, it looks like little thumb-sized rolls of meat. The bad news is, at the center of those rolls is something green and leafy that looks suspiciously like a vegetable.

With a proud smile, Ms. Mikado signs one of the words we learned today, <Negimaki.>

I was embarrassed that I didn't know what it was when we learned and was going to ask my mom later, so I didn't say anything.

I reply, <What's in it?>

She replies with two more words we learned today, <Beef and scallions.>

You had to go and ruin some perfectly good beef, didn't you?

My mom gives me another pointed look, and it's the last straw for me. Knowing she thinks I'm such a child only makes me want to be more of one. If I don’t like this, I shouldn't have to pretend. And shoot, I can use some of what we learned today to communicate my feelings. Isn't that the point?

Ms. Mikado grimaces and her smile almost disappears. It's still there. Faintly. But it's the smallest I've ever seen. And it's because of me.

I immediately regret being so defiant.

When I get up the nerve and turn to look at my mom, she looks furious. Her eyebrows are knit and her jaw is clenched. She crosses her arms and says something. Her buzzing sounds more aggressive than usual.

I look at the screen on Ms. Mikado’s computer, which is always set up with voice recognition software at lunchtime so I can sort of stay in the loop if they are using speech. It says,

Win was the last thyme you tied them?

Even with the garbled translation, I know what my mom is trying to say. And she’s right.

I look down at the table, ashamed for being the child my mom told me not to be. And for clearly hurting Ms. Mikado's feelings when she didn't do anything wrong.

I make eye contact with Ms. Mikado, something very hard for me normally, and doubly so because she's so freaking pretty. But, I owe her this for being so childish all the time.

“I-it's been a long time since I tried scallions. I don't actually know if I like them. But I'm going to try them now. A-and…I can eat around them even if I don’t! The meat looks delicious. I…should have just said…thank you for making us lunch today.”

Ms. Mikado's smile rebounds, making me feel relieved. But there is definitely some worry in her eyes. She quickly plates me some of the food and thrusts it in front of me. She gets my mom a plate too. I look down at the meat-wrapped scallions on my plate and try to psych myself up. But then I feel eyes burning into me.

I look up and see Ms. Mikado watching me closely with a furrowed brow and her hands anxiously folded together.

Well…no getting around really trying this now. Apparently she's going to watch.

I pick up one of the negimaki with my chopsticks. I hesitate a little, and then put the whole thing into my mouth, hoping I can just taste the meat and swallow without the scallion ever touching my tongue.

I start to chew.

Oh. My. God.

This might be the best meat I've ever tasted.

The meat is in lots of little strips and it’s really well-cooked and tender with a perfect teriyaki glaze.

And…there's this subtle peppery, herby taste too that goes so well with the meat. Is that in the sauce?

As I continue to chew, I feel the crunchiness of the scallions. As the peppery taste intensifies, I realize that's where that subtle taste I'm enjoying so much is coming from. I start to feel even more embarrassed for my behavior earlier.

Well…guess my mom was right. I wonder if there is any other food that I haven't tried since childhood that I would like now.

When I open my eyes, I see Ms. Mikado still looking on anxiously. She looks a little more confident, probably because she could tell I was savoring it.

But she still looks worried when she signs, <Do you like it?>

I put another meat-rolled scallion in my mouth for emphasis.

Ms. Mikado's face lights up and it gives me a twinge in my chest. I guess the upside of making her smile go so dim is that I get to see it return to its normal, bright configuration.

After that, lunch is less tense. My mom and Ms. Mikado discuss the dish, which is apparently Japanese-American. Ms. Mikado has a Japanese-American friend who gave her the recipe.

I have a hard time really focusing on the conversation though. Partly because the food is so good. But mostly because all I can think about is how nice it was to make Ms. Mikado really smile.

Now we’ve finished cleaning up after the meal, and we’re having a bit of tea before my mom leaves and Ms. Mikado and I begin our lip reading lesson for the day.

Suddenly, an unexpected visitor arrives. With a chirp-like meow, Haru jumps on the table and inquisitively walks towards Ms. Mikado, before stopping a good distance away from her.

We’ve told Ms. Mikado about Haru, and in the past she’s been disappointed that she hasn’t gotten to see her. Now that Haru is making an appearance, I can see in her golden eyes that she wants nothing more than to pick up the cute little calico and squeeze it to her ample chest. But she restrains herself and looks to me as if asking what she should do.

I sign, <Be calm. She will come to you.>

Ms. Mikado hesitantly reaches out her hand a few centimeters away from Haru. She examines her hand, and I feel like I can see the gears turning in her head. Then she steps forward a few steps, and rubs the top of her head on Ms. Mikado’s hand. Then, she lets Ms. Mikado pet her a few times, before running off.

Ms. Mikado beams with pride. It's pretty cute that she's that happy about Haru's apparent acceptance of her.

I guess I’m not the only one warming up to her.

guthrum06 · Post by **guthrum06** » Tue Apr 29, 2025 10:31 am

There are two more months left in our intensive course with Ms. Mikado. And she just made a bombshell announcement.

Ugh.

<Why?>

<It’s better to learn all in sign and you two have the vocabulary now to do it.>

That doesn’t make any sense to me. We know a lot, sure – but gaps have to be filled in somehow. But whatever. We'll see how it goes.

As class begins, we start with some basic conversation.

Ms. Mikado signs, <What did you do last night?>

“How do I sign-”

Ms. Mikado narrows her eyes and puffs out her cheeks while she signs aggressively, <Stop! Sign language only!>

I sigh in frustration and ask my question by fingerspelling the word ‘manga.’ Ms. Mikado's cheeks unpuff and she shows me how to sign the word.

…

Later in the class, we start learning terms relating to travel. After we have practiced them a bit, Ms. Mikado asks me, <What's the best vacation you ever had?>

It's not that hard of a question. We haven't been on that many.

“How do I sign ‘in a cabin’?”

Her cheeks puff out again and she puts her hands on her hips before signing, <Reina! Sign only!>

I roll my eyes at her and cross my arms, “There’s too much we don’t know for that. How am I supposed to put sentences together when I’m missing half the words I want to use. We barely know half the particles!”

My mom clicks her tongue at me and shakes her head like I'm the most disappointing daughter in the world.

She's such a freaking teacher's pet.

Any time the two of them gang up on me it just makes me want to be a complete asshole to both of them. But…I hurt Ms. Mikado’s feelings last time I gave into that urge. Plus her puffed out cheeks are way too cute for me to stay mad.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath and calm myself down.

<Sorry. It’s just hard for me. I'll do better.>

She smirks at me, <You're such a writer.>

I narrow my eyes at her, <What do you mean?>

<You're just so worried about grammar and vocabulary!>

I roll my eyes at her, <How stupid of I. Me forget we not need those.>

She gives me a smile that is equal parts bemused and exasperated, <Reina, I get that you want to be perfect. But you aren’t writing. You have the words to say what you need to.> She gives me a big smile before signing,

<Sure. A few hundred words is plenty for me to never speak again.>

Ms. Mikado lets out a frustrated sigh and furrows her brow for a moment. Then she signs, <Tomorrow, you and I are going on a…> She pauses and finger spells <...field…trip…>.

I start to feel dizzy at the thought of heading out into the world and leaving the protective cocoon that is my home. I hope I misunderstood.

<Field…trip?>

Ms. Mikado nods, <Yes. There is someone I want you to talk to.>

I start to feel very stressed and anxious, so I abandon signing and blurting out, “I-I don't want to go anywhere!”

Ms. Mikado looks at me with concern and thankfully doesn't berate me for speaking this time.

My mom steps in and deftly signs, <Ms. Mikado, can the field trip be to my cafe?>

I feel some of my anxiety dissipate at this suggestion. If there is somewhere I have to go, at least it's a place I'm familiar with.

Ms. Mikado studies me for a moment and then looks back at my mom with a smile, <Yes. Let's go there.>

…

When my mom gets home later that evening and finds me studying at the dining table, she immediately thrusts a lengthy note at me with a gruff expression on her face.

I know you and Ms. Mikado clash sometimes, but you need to show her respect. You didn't listen to her rules today and you were very rude to her. She would never tell you this, but I know that it hurt her feelings. I don't want to see that from you again.

I slam her stupid note on the table, “I swear, you like her more than you like me. You two are always ganging up on me and talking behind my back. It’s like middle school all over again. I’m even getting bullied by the pretty popular girls. It's getting really freaking old.”

In a huff, I go back to looking at my computer. But I notice my mom hasn't moved from where she was standing. I sigh and look at her, expecting her to be seething, but that's not what I see at all.

Her lip is trembling and she's wringing her hands together while looking at them. I can tell she's on the verge of tears.

That's when I realize what I just said.

Aw, shit. I went way over the line.

I stand up and hug her, “I don't really feel that way. You're not like those girls at all. Neither of you. I shouldn’t have said that. I'm sorry.”

My mom pulls back and sniffles while she signs, <But are you mad at us?>

I shrug, “Not really. I deserve to be scolded every time it happens. I'm a brat.”

I expect my mom to laugh, but she is still looking at me with seriousness in her eyes. <Are you sure there's nothing else?>

I sigh, embarrassed at the feelings I’m about to express, “I guess…I’m…a little jealous of both of you. It feels like…you both like one another more than you like me. And I'm just like…this annoying little girl you have to put up with.”

My mom looks shocked, <Why would you say that?>

<You two text all the time,> “I feel left out…I guess.”

My mom smiles, <We thought you'd hate it. We talk about silly things.>

I shrug, <Maybe I WILL hate it,> "--but let me decide."

My mom nods, <I'm sorry. We should have invited you.>

…

Once again, I’m staring up at the ceiling because I can’t sleep. The last couple of times this happened it was because I was so happy. But not this time. I’m very anxious about the field trip tomorrow.

I got added to the text conversation with my mom and Ms. Mikado tonight. And they were both chatting about the field trip. And a lot of it IS pretty dumb - like Ms. Mikado basically going through the entire menu and exclaiming, ‘Ooo, this sounds good!’ about every item on it.

But it is nice to be included. Even when she's annoying.

But it also made it harder for me to keep my mind off of having to leave the house tomorrow.

I'm glad that at least Ms. Mikado's field trip isn't somewhere completely alien to me. But I'm still very anxious. I haven't left my home since returning from the hospital, and I've gotten very comfortable. I've kind of reverted to who I was before university. At best, I was one step above hikikomori. I know it's not good for me. But at the same time it's uncomfortable.

I'm already bad with other people when I'm at my best. My disability is going to make it even worse.

But…I'm going to have to leave my house at some point. And if I keep just staying home, it's only going to get harder to go out. So, I need to do this. I have a feeling Ms. Mikado knows I need to do this for mental health reasons. She knows what a mess I am.

I sigh.

The cafe is somewhere I'm familiar with, and going there means that my mom will be close by. But it's not exactly my favorite place in the world.

Some cafes are sleepy little places where you can go and relax while enjoying a snack. But that's not true of this cafe. It's super popular and always pretty crowded with loud people.

My mom started working there about 15 years ago. It was not doing well at the time. In fact, she was hired out of desperation, because the owner didn't know what to do because his kissaten that had been there for years was suddenly failing. So my mom's job was mostly to stand outside in a cute uniform and flirt to get peoples’ attention. I didn't really get that at the time even though I went to work with her a lot. I was 7, so I just thought her uniform was cute. It makes me a little bit mad, now, that she was being used like that.

But even my mom's good looks and charisma couldn’t save the place. So the owner asked if she had any other ideas. He must really have been desperate, since he was a very traditional older man and he was asking for help from an uneducated single mother in her 20s who had no experience doing anything but waitressing.

But it turned out my mom did have an idea. A good one. She pointed out that this part of the city was becoming younger. A new Tohoku University campus opened nearby, and so did a train station. The train station shopping area was frequented mostly by university students, and they were moving into the neighborhood more and more.

So, she suggested moving away from a more traditional kissaten toward a very modern coffee shop with a massive drink menu and all kinds of offerings that would appeal to younger clientele - like sugary frappuccinos and caffeine-infused espressos. Basically, she suggested modeling the place after western coffee chains, but without the sterile, corporate feel those places have. She even suggested they rename the place “University Cafe.”

With nothing left to lose, the owner followed her suggestions, and the place became popular almost over night. And it's been a favorite of young people in Sendai ever since. The owner was so happy that he made her co-owner a year later. I don't quite want to say it was rags to riches for us. We weren't quite in rags, and we certainly aren't rich. But things were pretty bad. And they are much better now.

It's really amazing that she accomplished so much. If it wasn't for that, we wouldn't have our nice apartment and I wouldn't be going to university. We probably wouldn't even be able to afford Ms. Mikado or medical care, and I would be pretty much screwed.

But as proud as I am of her success and as happy I am that she provides for us so well…deep down I wish it was a little less successful so it wasn’t always so freaking busy. It's simply not a relaxing place for me.

But she’ll be there when we go on our ‘field trip.’ And that makes me feel a bit better. I hate to admit it, but I think Ms. Mikado being there will help me too.

When we enter the cafe, it's as busy as I feared. There is one open table among the three dozen, and lots of people waiting in line too.

Ms. Mikado looks around, and sees the waving hand of another woman. She excitedly waves back and gestures for me to follow her.

But I find myself utterly overtaken by the buzzing sound all around me. It’s like I'm surrounded by a swarm of angry bees. I start to hyperventilate, so I close my eyes and put my hand on my chest to try to steady my breathing. But it's not working well. My heart is pounding in my ears.

Why are we even doing this? Just so she can meet some friends? Can't she be a social butterfly on her own time, and not put me in a panic attack-inducing situation? She probably isn't even aware that this is happening to me.

Just as I'm about to turn around and leave the cafe, I feel something soft and warm on my hand. I open my eyes and see Ms. Mikado wearing a warm smile. I notice she's holding my hand. My heart starts thumping hard for an entirely different reason.

This is the first time I've held hands with anyone but my mom.

She lets go of my hand and signs, <Are you okay?>

I'm definitely still in a heightened state, but I think the panic attack danger has passed thanks to her. I can try to tough this out.

<It’s loud. But I'm okay.>

She nods, <You look dizzy. Hold on to me and I'll get you to where you can sit.> She outstretches her hand, and I take it. My heart starts thumping again.

She leads me to a table where two women are sitting and she lets go of my hand as I sit down.

One of the women gets up and hugs Ms. Mikado. She has long dark hair, glasses, and brown eyes. She also has on some sort of hearing aid. I briefly wonder whether this is the friend from high school she was the interpreter for. As those two are sharing the hug, the other woman, who is seated across from me, smiles and waves. I awkwardly wave back.

She looks foreign, or at least half-foreign. She has shoulder length blonde hair, light-green eyes, and very fair skin.

They are both very pretty. I'm a little surprised I don't feel more nervous around them. But I'm around Ms. Mikado all the time these days and she's even prettier. It must have helped build up my tolerance for pretty girls.

Ms. Mikado says something to both of them, and they say something back. Then she taps on my shoulder and she starts signing.

<This is my student.> Then she looks at me, <These are my friends. No speaking, okay?>

At first I think she's only talking to me, but the blond woman nods too.

Then Ms. Mikado and the dark-haired woman abruptly go off and sit at another table in the cafe.

I am beyond confused about what's happening and seething a little about the fact that Ms. Mikado just abandoned me without explaining what was happening. I look behind the counter hoping to see my mom to steady myself. Luckily I see her, smiling and laughing with a male customer as she takes his order. It calms me down.

Then, the blond woman signs one of the first things I ever learned.

<What's your name?>

I spell it out, <Reina. What's yours?>

She slowly signs each of the kana in her name, <Ma> <Do> <Ka>.

Oh. She's slower than me. She must be learning too.

She smiles, <You too.>

Then, she signs only two words, <Why?> <Sign language.>

Not how I would have signed that. She left so many words out. But I know what she means.

I think about how to say what I need. There's no way I can sign all the details about my situation, but like she just did, I can sign enough to be understood.

<Got hurt. I'm deaf now.> I point at my ear and shake my head for emphasis.

That's not exactly accurate. And being that imprecise bothers me. But I think I'm starting to get why Ms. Mikado wanted me to do this.

Madoka frowns, <Sorry.>

She taps her finger on her chin and thinks for a moment. She points to the tall, dark-haired woman that Ms. Mikado is talking to and then signs a word I don't recognize.

Now she signs two words I do know.

<Girl.> <Friend.>

I can't help but smile when I put it together.

She's gay! And open about it. That's awesome! It's nice to know Ms. Mikado has gay friends.

Or…maybe I'm interpreting it wrong. I should be careful just in case. Not like I'm fluent in sign language.

<Oh. Is she deaf?>

She nods, <Can hear because…> She taps on her own ear, and I know what she means. She is talking about her hearing aid.

I nod, to tell her I understand.

I find myself smiling.

Okay. She's definitely gay.

She's learning sign language to talk to her girlfriend's family. I don't think she would do that for a friend.

<That’s cool. What's her name?>

She slowly spells it out again, one syllable at a time, <A><Ka><Ne>, then she signs <How is…M___>

I only catch the first letter of what she's trying to spell, because the word is so strange.

She nods and does it again, more slowly. I tilt my head to the side, <Misha? I don't know that word.>

Madoka laughs, <Your teacher's name.>

Oh. That's her first name? That's an unusual one. Maybe she's half foreign. She doesn't really look it, though.

<She's good.> I pause for a moment, <Lots of energy.>

Madoka smiles, <Yes. Definitely.>

<Sometimes. Akane is my teacher.>

I nod, <How long have you known Ms. Mikado?>

She chuckles. I don't know why at first, but I guess hearing your good friend called ‘Ms.’ sounds funny.

So maybe Akane IS the girl she was the interpreter for.

No wait…if her family is deaf, that means Akane was actually the older girl who was her tutor. Probably. Maybe.

<Wow! That's cool.>

My mom surprises me by coming over to our table with a breakfast sandwich with prosciutto and a chai latte for me. I avoid the more caffeinated stuff because of my anxiety. I realize that she's checking in on me. It's a little embarrassing, but I probably need it.

I introduce my mom and Madoka, and my mom refills Madoka’s coffee.

After my mom leaves, Madoka signs, <This cafe.> <Your mom's?>

I nod, <She owns some of it.>

Again…super imprecise. But I don't have to be exact, as this conversation has taught me.

I'm tempted to brag about my mom, but definitely don't have the vocabulary to do it justice. But again…that's probably okay.

She nods and checks the time, <Need to go soon.>

I feel a little let down.

Then she signs, <Talk again?> She pauses for a moment as she formulates her next statement, <Nice to sign with you. Same level.>

She seems nice. And she's also gay…I don't know anyone else who is. So even though I'm not normally very social, I've really enjoyed this. So…

<Yes. I'd like that too.>

…

Madoka and Akane just left. The place has emptied out some. It's only about 75% full now. It's still a little stressful because of all the people, but I think I'm learning to tune out the buzzing. In a setting like this it kind of becomes white noise. Still, I'd much rather be at home.

Ms. Mikado has just joined me at the same table. She is smiling broadly at the drink she just ordered. It's some super sugary frappuccino, with whipped cream spilling out of the top and chocolate drizzle. If I was going to guess what drink she gets at a place like this, that would be it. She looks like a little kid who is about to eat their birthday cake.

She takes a long drink and then sighs happily before signing, <How was it?>

<Good. I know why you wanted me to talk to her. Thank you.>

She smirks, She narrows her eyes, < Too smart, sometimes. So, you'll follow the rules now?>

I nod,

She shrugs and then smiles, <It’s fine. Everyone learns differently. Most students follow the rule. You just needed to be shown why because you're so smart.>

<'Smart' or ‘difficult’?>

She lets out a “Wahahaha_” and then signs <Maybe both!> with a wink.

But then her face gets serious. Well, as serious as it ever does. Her smile is less playful as she locks eyes with me. <Good job today. I know this was hard.>

I look down at the plate that once held my breakfast sandwich, embarrassed that she saw through my neurosis again. But,I guess I shouldn't be. She doesn't look down on me for it. And she comforted me earlier when I was about to lose it.

She even held my hand. She definitely didn't have to do that. She goes above and beyond for me.

I look back up at her, <It was. But I'm glad I did it. Thank you for helping me.>

Author's note: Akane and Madoka are OCs who appeared originally in Yamaku: The Place Where Dreams Come True. You don't have to read that story to follow what's going on here, but if you'd like to know more about those two, there is another story out there!

Lap · Post by **Lap** » Wed Apr 30, 2025 7:45 am

I confess I never read Where Dreams Come True because I know nothing about Clannad. (I tend to avoid cross-overs, just personal taste.) Can it be read fandom-blind?

Thanks for the chapter! I’m enjoying this quite a bit.

guthrum06 · Post by **guthrum06** » Wed Apr 30, 2025 7:03 pm

Lap wrote: Wed Apr 30, 2025 7:45 am
I confess I never read Where Dreams Come True because I know nothing about Clannad. (I tend to avoid cross-overs, just personal taste.) Can it be read fandom-blind?

Thanks for the chapter! I’m enjoying this quite a bit.

I'm glad you're enjoying this! I always enjoy your work (especially Scarred Muse).

Others have told me they read Where Dreams Come True without knowing anything about Clannad and still enjoyed it. To them the MC (Nagisa) is basically an OC. There are some references and jokes (especially when it comes to her parents) that you won't get, but Nagisa does adequately enough describe her past for you to know what's going on.

SilentM · Post by **SilentM** » Wed Apr 30, 2025 10:25 pm

I feel for Reina, taking that first step into actually using your target language is always terrifying. No amount of flashcard drills will ever make you feel ready. But you have to bite the bullet knowing you'll never feel ready and do it anyway.

I'd remark on how fast Reina and Mom both seem to have gotten remarkably proficient, but then again, so did Hisao. Perhaps language learning is just canonically easier in the KS universe.

I'm the guy that read The Place Where Dreams Come True without having seen Clannad. Given it's fairly simple slice-of-life, I felt like there wasn't much lore to have missed out on or anything. I then did watch it last month though.

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Too Close for Comfort - A Post-Yamaku Misha x OC Story (Chapter 5 - 4/29/2025)

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Chapter 2

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Chapter 3

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Chapter 5

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