“Get the fuck out of my way, you fat fuck!” I barge past Taro, making a real show of squeezing past him. Taro’s face is indignant and dismissive as he follows, slamming the sliding door.
“How about you pay attention to something other than yourself, you spoilt bitch!” He said he’d have to channel some dark thoughts when he shot any insults my way and even if it is pretend; it stings.
“Just stay downwind from me.” I wave my hand in front of my face, and walk to the opposite side of the room to him. I can already see Nomiya in my periphery, the faintest sneering smile on his disgusting face as he stalks my way. I throw my bag onto the bench and take out a sketchbook. I need to keep up the veneer of wanting to be here for now.
“It’s so nice to see you back, Saki! I was worried when you started to scour your previous works but I see that you’ve now scoured yourself of any… bad influences.” His hands-on-hips pose fills my field of view. It’s almost as oppressive as his aftershave.
“Thanks, Mr Nomiya. My parents convinced me that my pursuit of the arts was more important than distractions.” I try to make my like it always does when I interact with him but having to actually think about my inflections makes it way harder to do. I hope he’s buying it…
“I’m happy to have any distractions removed if it means you can resume producing-”
“Th-That’s not necessary. I can ignore him and he’s not going to try to cause trouble for me.” I interrupt awkwardly. I definitely don’t want Taro kicked out of the art club. “He wouldn’t dare. I’d like to work on some sketches for my next piece in the meantime.”
Nomiya nods approvingly at my excuse and moves onto talking with Kintsugi about the clay sculpture he’s working on. I make sure that Nomiya isn’t looking before looking over to Taro, who is talking to a confused-looking Rin. Shit, I didn’t think about her.
We made sure to tell Miki about the plan so that my ass could remain unkicked but I completely forgot that Rin has been hovering around me and Taro recently and god knows she might be confused about why we’re ‘fighting’. I don’t envy having to explain things to her.
For now, I should just try to act normal and get through the next hour before Nomiya gets bored and makes his excuses to leave. The man can’t wait to get to the nearest bar…
I drag my pencil around the corner of the page in idle spirals while trying to do my best not to look at Taro. Given the amount of unspoken angst and turmoil in my life; I feel like I should have lots to draw on for my art but I can’t quite find it in me to commit anything to the page right now. Maybe it’s because I’m not keeping all that shit inside anymore; that I’m talking about it with other people…
It’s only when I feel pressure on my back that I tear my eyes away from the messy page. I peek over my shoulder, expecting Nomiya to be creepily showing support but I’m surprised to see a shock of red hair. The weight of a Rin Tezuka isn’t much but it’s definitely noticeable; for its sheer uncanniness if nothing else.
“R-Rin? Wh-What’re you doing?” I whisper in surprise.
“Taro told me what happened and you looked sad.”
“S-so you thought you’d lean on me?”
“This is a hug.”
“O-Oh…” For fuck’s sake, Saki, she doesn’t have arms… A hiccup of emotion builds up in my throat but I manage to clear it before turning on my stool. Her expression is as blank as usual but she clearly wanted to check up on me. It’s weird, but good-weird.
“Sit down, Rin.” I point to the stool next to mine and she hops up without ever taking her eyes off me. I glance around the room and catch Nomiya trying, and failing, to not look at us. The idea of his two prizes collaborating must have him drooling… I focus back on Rin and lower my voice. “What did Taro say?”
“He said you two didn’t work out.” Rin looks over at Taro and then back at me. “He’s lying, though.”
“Wh-What makes you say that?”
“The way he looks. Not how he looks. He looks how he always looks. I mean how he looks at you. He’s frowny.”
The simplest solution to convince my father’s informants that I’m back on the leash is to out-and-out lie; something I’ve been trying do a lot less recently. The next is to give him what he wants; which I refuse to do. So now I’m somewhere in the middle…
It’s tough, but I have the benefit of new friends and a new boyfriend who are way more helpful and patient with my particular brand of trouble than I really deserve given my past behaviour.
“He’s frowny because…” I feel bad for thinking that explaining this elaborate ruse to Rin would be like teaching chess to a Golden Retriever but purposely lying to her feels even worse. “Can you keep a secret, Rin?”
“Emi says ‘secret secrets are no fun’.”
“I don’t know what that means.” I shake my head at Rin. Never heard that one before.
“Neither do I. Is the problem in his pants?” Rin asks with a curious tilt of her head and I feel blood rush to my face. Why would she ask something like that!?
“N-N-No! Definitely not that! That’s great!” Why am I telling her it’s great?
“That’s good to know.” Why is she smiling? Is she messing with me?
“No, Rin, it’s not-look, me and Taro have a secret and I think it would be… Easier to tell you the truth than to lie.” I lower my voice and lean forward, placing my hand on her leg. “Because you’re our friend and I don’t want to lie to my friends.”
Rin’s eyes become uncommonly animated as they dart between my hand on her knee and my face, her own cheeks becoming flush.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have touched you without asking.” I recoil and Rin’s eyes drift over to Taro and then back to me again.
“I knew I was Taro’s friend. I didn’t know I was yours too.”
“I’d like to think we are. You did hug me after all.”
“Should I apologise for touching you?” Rin raises her eyebrows and I laugh at her question, shaking my head with a smile.
“No, that was a very kind thing to do. Thank you, Rin.”
“Then yes; I’d like to be a secret friend.” Rin’s eyes sparkle and I debate whether I should explain that’s not what I meant but I think I’ll stick to telling her the simplest version of our plan.
Hours pass and the clubs activities wind down. Nomiya didn’t leave, which is surprising… Maybe he’s on special orders from Father or something… I was asked about why I’m back by Chihiro and Maeda so they got sold the lie too. As icky as this is making me feel, it’s probably going to be even worse when I have to go to music club…
Taro left five minutes ago with Rin so I wait until Maeda gets Nomiya’s attention before slipping out. I hurry along as best I can, the end of the day taking its toll on my legs.
I eventually find Taro where we agreed to meet; outside of the arts wing, waiting on the bench where he first kissed me. It’s quiet and away from prying eyes. I ask where Rin is and he explains that Emi was waiting to take her down to the track. Or for food. Or one then the other. She was speaking very fast and that tracks with how impatient she can be.
“So. That sucked.” I sigh heavily as I watch Taro rise from the bench and reach out his left hand to me.
“Bloody awful; as Molly would say.” Taro agrees, as I take his hand in mine and we kiss gently. “Sorry for calling you a bitch.”
“Sorry for calling you a fat fuck.” I say back as we press our foreheads together, slowly squeezing each other’s hand. For the time being, this is how we can be together. Out of the way, in the quiet, in each other’s hands.
“Oh, what the fuck is she doing back here?!”
There’s a chorus of murmurs and side-eyes after Ritsu’s outburst but Yuki is quick to quiet the discontent in lieu of Mrs Sakamoto. I feel so anxious that I could throw up but I’m putting on a brave face. Well, a bitchy face at the very least.
“Alright, calm down, everyone! Mrs Sakamoto told us Saki was coming back-”
“I didn’t think she’d be stupid enough to do it, though!” Ritsu spits again, staring daggers at me from her perch on top of her chair back at the back of the room.
“Knock it off, Tainaka! We get to decide who is or isn’t welcome here; not you.” Kaz pipes up in my defence, causing Ritsu to sneer at him instead.
“She’s probably fucking him!” Someone I don’t recognise laughs but given his proximity to Ritsu, I can guess who put that thought in his head.
“Shut the fuck up, Kintaro!” Yuki gets very defensive but I don’t think it’s on my behalf… The room devolves into a shouting match from there and I’m still standing at the doorway, watching everyone’s responses and how the club is divided.
Ritsu clearly has a new little clique, others are people I know I’ve upset in the past, and the rest seem to be either just against the others or don’t care about me being here at all. It’s weird but I think the only one who genuinely doesn’t want me here is Ritsu; the rest is just side-picking and the chaos of teenagers with opinions.
I really thought Yuki and Kaz could handle this but their voices are drowned out by everyone else’s. I still think they’re good for the club but they’re not cut-throat enough to rein in this mob at this moment.
The argument continues to escalate as more insults are thrown around and with Sakamoto on one of her extended cigarette breaks, which I wish I was doing, there’s no one who can rein this rabble in… Certainly no one keeping an eye on me as I take back control of this ridiculous situation.
The room’s shouting match turns to a collective groan of pain as the screech of audio feedback drowns out any argument and brings their entire focus onto me. I pull a microphone away from the nearby speaker and up to my face. Time for a little Old Saki.
“Pipe down, fuck-sticks! I’m only going to say this once and then we’re all going to play nice! Got it!?” I snarl at the room and wait for someone, anyone, to chime in but they don’t. “I’m not here fuck anyone’s boyfriend, I’m not here to steal someone’s spotlight, and I’m definitely not going to fucking baby-sit you through your fucking feelings about me because guess what?”
“I don’t want to be here! Just as much as you don’t want me here; hell, maybe even more.” I purposely lock eyes with Ritsu at that point. “So I’m going to show up from time-to-time and it’s up to you how painless this is. This is a punishment for me but it doesn’t have to be for the rest of you losers unless you want it to! You can either ignore me or you can just shut the fuck up about it; those are your options.”
Ritsu glowers at me silently so I turn my gaze onto the others. I raise an eyebrow waiting for any kind of pushback but there’s none, surprisingly. They either avoid eye contact or are like Yuki, looking mildly impressed.
“Good; glad we understand each other.” I sneer-smirk and toss the microphone over to Kaz. I still feel sick to my stomach but part of me really enjoyed that. I know I shouldn’t have…
But I did.
Rika paces back-and-forth, spilling her guts out about stuff to do with Hisao and I have no idea what to say to her. I’m no authority on this stuff, she’d be better off asking Fuuka. Going back to square one seems like a good way to build themselves back up to me but her frustration is plain as day; it’s not going the way she wants.
“So now we’re going on our second-third date and I’m running out of things to talk about that isn’t our conditions, or stuff we’ve talked about before, or-or how much I want to have sex!” Her arms flail uselessly to her sides as she stops and turns to me. “So I really need some input here, Saki!”
Yeah, she deeeeefinitely should be talking to Fuuka.
“Well, have you tried actually talking to him about having sex?”
“Well, no… But only because I know it’s just going to cause another argument! He’s too scared that what happened last time will happen again or that something worse will happen and it’s just…” Rika reaches for one of my pillows and screams into it. One deep breath and she screams again before shuffling forward, planting face-first onto my bed.
“Feel better?”
“Yes! Also light-headed!” The annoyed, muffled response is cute and funny but I genuinely feel for her. I can’t imagine what it’d be like dating someone like her or Hisao; with their conditions. Shura’s epilepsy was never an issue; though I suppose he never lasted long enough for it to become one.
And Taro is… Solid. Robust. Big and firm and… Stop it, Saki! I haven’t had to worry about killing the guy I’m sleeping with is my point, I guess.
“I don’t know what to do, Saki. I don’t want to lose him but I’m also tired of trying to make it work.” Rika pulls the pillow under her chin and rests there, her pathetic expression looking up at me at the head of the bed. What do I even say to that? What could I, with my limited experience, tell her is the right thing to do?
“Maybe… Maybe stop over-thinking it?” I offer weakly. “Like, you’re both thinking about it so much beforehand that you’re just psyching yourselves out and that’s probably not good for either of your hearts.”
“So I should what? Just go for it? Force the issue?”
“I dunno; I’m just throwing out ideas here, girl. I’m not saying sex is going to save your relationship but I meeeean…” Can’t exactly hurt it either… Maybe finally getting your fuck on will get you both to chill the fuck out.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea…” Rika frowns grumpily at me as I paraphrase Taro’s words to me.
“Oh, it’s not! It’s a stupid one!” I chuckle and sigh in the same bitter breath. “But stupid ideas are all I’ve got at the moment.”
“Believe me… I’ve heard stupider.” Rika sighs and plants her face into the pillow once again.
“Thank you, Yuuko.” Mother smiles at our waitress and I can only think back to a month or so ago when she was bitchy and dismissive. God help me; it’s almost like she’s a person. I need to shake that shit out of my head right now because despite the progress I’ve made with her; she’s still on Father’s side.
“Biznesh in the city shtill keeping you bissee?” Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, she showed up at one of my weaker moments. She can see for herself how bad I can get when my body rebels against me.
“Yes but I won’t bore you with that. Tell me how you’ve been. Are things better in your clubs?” She tries to paint on a smile but she knows better. I’ve made it clear how unhappy I am with how and why Father has dictated things recently.
“They’re what you eckshpect. The teachuurs are happy to see me, the shtudents either don’t curr or want me gone, and I have no deshire to contribute.” I state as plainly as I can despite the slurring. “It shucks and iz a wayshte of time.”
Everything sucks! Keeping a relationship secret, walking a tight-rope of keeping my bastard Father happy and keeping my own sanity, and then there’s the anxiety of just being in the club rooms… The last couple months have dragged.
My club-mates give me a wide enough berth, thankfully, so all I have to do is potter around for an hour-or-so, just enough to be seen to be ‘taking part’ by the teachers and I can leave.
“I know it’s difficult to understand now but your Father is only trying to do what’s best for you. To take care of you, to secure a future for you.” She knows that’s bullshit, I’ve been nothing but transparent with her about what he’s doing to get me under thumb and she’s still trying to defend him.
“Threatening my fr-frends doesn’t help me and yoo know it!” I hiss to the best of my current ability.
“That’s… Not what he’s doing… He just wants you to make… the right… choices.” She mutters quietly and I can just tell that even she doesn’t believe that. It’s extortion.
“Reekah and Tahro don’t desherve to have their family’s durrty laundry aired out any more than ours, sho tell me how exactly Father saying he’ll do jusht that isn’t a threat? Rika’s mom is a doctor for fuck’s sake, how can you justify that?” My voice finds it’s strength again, just in time to hit with the desired effect.
“I know, Saki, I know! But your F-Father… He… He’s just…” Mother’s voice quakes but not quite as much as her right hand does. I narrow my eyes and she quickly suppresses it with her left hand. We share a look and an unspoken acknowledgement of who I inherited my condition from. Her eyebrows furrow in sadness, or guilt, and she looks away.
The sad truth is that we have more in common than we can ever really admit to each other and that maybe she defends Father for the same reason I’m pretending to go along with his plans; a desperate survival instinct.
“The kids here are amazing.” Mother says idly, my eyes following hers to one of the booths, filled with a trio of students. A tall, dark-skinned girl in a string top with a huge surgical scar across her chest, a plain-looking boy with a medical eye patch and burn scarring on the same side of his head coming up from his collar, and a pretty cute guy with a noticeable prosthetic arm and leg.
“Do you know any of them?”
“No… Come to think of it; I don’t think I’ve evur sheen… them before…” Damn it, there I go again. Mother’s gaze fixes on me when she notices my speech slur again.
“All the time I’ve been coming here; I don’t think I’ve seen the same students in here. There’s… There’s just so many. And they’re all so different! But they’re still just kids. Still so young. Like you.” Mother finds the quaking in her hand gone and reaches for her mug of coffee.
“Shure are. But trusht me…” I wince, trying to will my voice into being normal. “Trust. Me. They’re stronger. Than you think. Even the… Terminals.”
“The terminals?” She knows what it means but she asks anyway.
“Like me. The ones who know…” A half-amused snort escapes my nose. “The end of the line is nearer than you think.”
“You shouldn’t have to think like that… No child should…” No, but I do. We do. I’m not alone in facing my mortality…
“My friend Rika once told me - screamed at me, actually - that I’m on borrowed time and I’d been wasting it.” I explain as Mother’s eyes grow curious.
“She was right. She’s had to live with death her entire life because of a bad heart but she is so strong, and full of life and, honestly, I’m so jealous of her.” I smile, gather my courage, and tell Mother exactly how I feel.
“That’s why I don’t want to be a bitch to my peers any more! Or waste my time in clubs that I don’t enjoy. Or do stupid performances. Or get married off to randos!” That one made Mother flinch.
“I want to hang out with my amazing friends! I want to show off my sweet boyfriend! I want things that are just mine. Not Father’s! Mine.”
A strange, uncomfortable smile spreads across Mother’s face. I’d like to think it might be pride in how strong I’m trying to be but it could just be sheer awkwardness. She reaches across the table with her right hand, gripping my left tightly. There’s still a slight tremor in it.
“I’m s-sorry, Saki. I d-didn’t know…” She whispers. I don’t quite believe that but I think she’s sincere in her apology… I want to hope so, anyway.
“Now you do.” I squeeze her hand back. Supportive silence follows before she releases my grasp to wipe her eyes, sniffs loudly, and paints on a smile once again.
“So! Boyfriend? I assume it’s that Taro boy you keep talking about?”
Damn, cat’s out of the bag…
“E, G, Aaaaa… Who can shaaaaa-Fuck it!” I slam my fingers against a bunch of keys at once, blaring discordant notes and a few more curses under my breath. I shake my hands and reposition them on the correct keys. Knowing the song by heart and replicating it on piano are two very different skills and I’ll admit; I’ve never been good at playing things by ear. “Who can say… G, E, C, F, if I’ve been changed…”
“I doubt it.” A voice calls out behind me, followed by the slam of a heavy book bag on a desk. “But stranger things have happened.”
“Hey, Ritsu… G, E, C, F…”
“I can’t believe you’re actually doing this; taking part, I mean.” Ritsu circles me like a predator. Or like I would if I was trying to mess with someone. “I thought clubs were a punishment for you?”
“Punishments are known to be cruel and unusual… F, E, D-C… I was told to take part so… F, E, D-C… if I’m being forced to, I’ll at least do it on my terms.”
“Ohhhh, so this is martyrdom! You’re still making things about you, huh? That makes way more sense…”
“If you say so.” I sigh, trying to focus on my hand placement. They’re just not playing nice today…
“Come on, Saki! This placid little woe-is-me schtick is getting old.”
“Why would I be feeling sorry for myself, Ritsu?”
“You’re not; that’s my point! This whole ‘punishment’ thing is bullshit! No one could force you to do something you didn’t want to do.” She folds her arms petulantly. “So you’re doing this for attention. A comeback gig at the Winter Recital.”
I start to laugh at the idea. That might have been something I’d think up, yeah… God knows my current plan is just as stupid but, in fairness, it wasn’t all mine…
“That… Heh, I can’t even deny it’s for attention.” I chuckle. “But not in the way you’re thinking, anyway.”
She stares at me like I’ve gone mad. Maybe I have. Over-thinking my public persona has really been taking it’s toll lately. Taro can only relieve so much stress, y’know? I’ll call him over once I’m done here… I realise I’m smiling like an idiot when Ritsu pipes up again.
“You’re so full of shit!”
“Yeah, I am. Always have been.” I admit, almost proudly. My former best friend seems to glitch as she can’t compute why I’m not rising to her bait or even denying her insults. She’s not wrong and I certainly don’t want to get into another fight with her after last time so I give her what she wants. It pisses her off. She throws her hands up and lets out a flustered grunt as she slinks back to her stuff.
I continue to tickle the ivories with a little smirk on my face, sounding out the notes so I can get the timing down. “C, G, C, E… I have been cha-”
The door into the arts wing corridor slides open meekly and a timid girl shuffles in, cane outstretched to guide her. Dark brown hair tied into a ponytail, and wearing scruffy casual clothes; she’s one of the blind clique of the music club. Her head moves around, clearly taking notice of the noise in the room.
“Hello? Is Mrs Sakamoto h-here?” Her voice cracks as her eyebrows rise up her forehead from behind a chunky pair of black sunglasses. Ritsu looks to me and I simply shrug back. “Who’s h-here, please?”
“Just Tainaka, Enomoto is here too; it’s not a club day so Mrs Sakamoto’s probably in the faculty office if she’s not here.” Ritsu politely explains. As much shit as we’d talk behind people’s backs when we were friends, we’d never mess with our blind or deaf club-mates. Bullying with a code of honour seems ridiculous but this is a ridiculous place, filled with ridiculous people.
“O-oh…” The girl’s shoulders shiver and she braces her herself against the door frame. “D-damn it…”
“Hey. Is everything alright?” I ask from the piano and she slumps down, her legs buckling underneath her as she shakes her head rapidly. I get up as quick as I can but Ritsu is already moving towards her.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Ritsu takes a running slide next to get to the girl first. “What’s your name?”
“Ch-Chid-d-d-dori… Ki-Kimiko Chid-d-”
“That’s Ritsu, I’m Saki.” I interrupt, studying the light bruises I can now see under her glasses and the scrapes on her hands. I shoot Ritsu a look to see if she’s noticed too. She has. “You’re safe here, Kimiko. What’s the matter?”
The girl struggles to choke out her explanation as tears streak down her bruised face. She’d been in the town when she got mugged, five minutes away from the bus stop. They knocked her down, stole her violin, and gave her a kicking for good measure. My nose scrunches up and twitches in anger. What do I do? What would Taro do?
“Have you been to the nurse yet?” Ritsu asks but Kimiko shakes her head. Yeah, the nurse, that’s totally the right call. Probably the teachers or security as well…
“N-No… I n-n-needed to tuh-tell Mrs Sakamo-ho-to that I cuh-couldn’t buh-be in thuh…” She just got mugged and she was more worried about the Winter Recital? I bite my tongue as I’m about to ask her what the guys looked like but she does confirm that it sounded like two boys, not men. Better than nothing.
“Okay… Ritsu should get you to the nurse first, and I’ll let Mrs Sakamoto and security know; right?” Ritsu looks slightly put out but focuses back on Chidori when the blind girl whimpers, nodding as rapidly as she shivers.
“She’s right.” Ritsu groans, rolling her eyes at me. “Come on, Kimiko, we’ll get this sorted out.” Ritsu uses a softer tone as she helps Kimiko to her feet. I rub the girl’s shoulder and watch them leave before I retrieve my phone from my bag; scrolling through my sparse contacts list until I hit dial on the name I thought of immediately. What would Taro do?
“Kiki! What’s happenin’?!” Miki answers and I breathe a calming sigh. He’d call Miki.
“God, you’re really laying on this goody two-shoes bit, aren’t you?” Ritsu interrupts me with a snide little comment but is immediately challenged by Miki from the doorway of Kimiko Chidori’s room.
“Hey; how about shut the fuck up?”
“So? What do you think?” I ask as Kimiko gently runs her hands over my violin. Well, her violin now. Even with Miki’s help; the cops didn’t find the guys and couldn’t recover Kimiko’s violin. I mean, it was technically the school’s but she’s been using it for the better part of three years; it might as well be hers.
Apparently the police will keep investigating but that’s not helping her right now, with the recital less than a month away. So I helped in the only way I could.
“Y-you’re sure?” Kimiko tilts her head up but she’s ‘looking’ more at my chest than my face. She cradles the violin case in her lap like it’s a beloved pet. It reminds me of when I received it.
“More than sure. My Grandfather loved to play and I’m sure he’d love to know that it’s going to someone who’ll cherish it and use it every day.” It wasn’t one of his fancy ones; the ones he’d use for performances. Pretty sure Father sold all of those… But it was a well-loved practice violin that he made sure I got before he passed. Perfect for a young prodigy, he said. I hope that stays true for her.
“Barf.” Ritsu whispers behind me. She came to Kimiko’s room to check on her but now Ritsu’s just adding colour commentary and little else. I turn my head and join Miki in shooting her a look that practically screams ‘shut the fuck up’.
“I don’t know what to say, Enomoto… This is too much. I can’t acc-”
“You can and you will. Don’t argue with me.” I wheel back on Kimiko before realising I aimed my annoyance at the wrong person. “Sorry, that was… Look; it’s yours if you want it. Try it out and if you’re not vibing with it then…”
“O-Okay… Thank you, Enomoto.” She still looks thankful but that flash of Old Saki was really bad timing. I wanted to do a good thing and now it feels… Bad.
I don’t need to glance toward Ritsu as I turn away from Kimiko; I can just feel her wearing a shit-eating grin… I say my goodbye and step out of Kimiko’s room, turning to the left as Miki follows me out and keeps pace.
“For what it’s worth; I don’t like it when people don’t accept help either. It’s why me and Taro get along so well.” Miki says, shaking her head.
“Because he knows the value of asking for help?”
“Nah, because he can take a punch when he argues with me. He’s the worst at asking for help.” She laughs. I suppose it would be hard for someone who is so used to helping others to actually accept help, even if they need it.
“Well, thank you for helping me. And Kimiko.” I offer sincerely.
“No problem but you saved the day here, not me!” Miki grins and bops my shoulder lightly. “Feels good, don’t it?”
“What?”
“Doing good.” She looks at me expectantly. I look at her confused for a second before blushing. It did feel good, despite being a little snappy at the end there.
“Yeah… ”
“Remember though; good is a thing you do, not a thing you are.” She raises her finger with a smug face like the student council president. Then she bumps into my shoulder with hers. “Or somethin’ like that. All I know is that you can be a bad bitch and do good at the same time.”
I knock lightly on Taro’s door, half expecting him not to answer, especially at this late hour. I look up and down the hall, just in case anyone sees me but I’d definitely hear them coming before then; I can hear the muffled sound of someone’s TV four doors away.
There’s a shuffling behind the door, a lock being undone, then cracked open slightly. A bleary eye peers out at me before the door slides open, revealing a slightly grumpy-behind-the-smile Taro, clad in little more than his boxer briefs. I bite my lip as he ushers me in.
“I thought you’d be asleep… Or maybe doing some last minute rehearsing.” He yawns, turning off the room light just after I turn on his desk lamp.
“I’m as good as I’m going to get, I think… Short of an ataxia episode, I’m good to go. And I tried sleeping, I really did, but I’m just…” I wring my hands together, nervously.
“Anxious?” Taro wraps his arm around my shoulders from behind, kissing the back of my head.
“No. Yes. A whole bunch of things, really…” I sigh, holding his arm against me like a firm-yet-comforting pillow. “Mrs Sakamoto’s putting me on last, basically making me out to be the headliner, and then there’s my parents and one of my Father’s business partners being there…”
“I’ll be there too. Me, Rika, Miki. We’ve got your back.” He reassures me with a squeeze but it’s nowhere near as tight as usual. There’s a slight grumble in his throat, like he’s struggling to do it.
“I know. Thanks.” I begin and I know I have to be careful how I word this. Whenever I used to get anxious before a performance, I’d call Shura… And I guess that’s what I’m doing now but with Taro.
“I’m sorry, I know you’ve had a long day too. Hope our club didn’t work you too hard…” I turn in his arm to properly hug him. I didn’t see too much of him today because he was helping the music club set up the Winter Recital decorations alongside the theatre club.
“You know me; I don’t mind - yawwwwwh - helping out.” He yawns while painting on an aloof smirk. He’s obviously drained and here I am expecting more out of him…
“I’d believe you if you weren’t volunteered for it by Nomiya.” I grumble into his chest. “Like you’ve got nothing better to do than be a golem.”
“Yeah well…” He shrugs, lop-sidedly as always. “Those two club captains of yours were pretty apologetic about it and Fuuka’s club helped out. Some of the stuff they wanted to use was way too heavy for them to move so it’s a good thing I was there…”
“Still…” I squeeze him tightly and he reciprocates as best he can.
“Did you want to sleep here tonight?” Taro asks with such a low tone that it vibrates through his chest into my head.
“I… Don’t think that’s a good idea…” Not now anyway… I can’t ask it of him… I push myself away from him but I can’t help but leave my hands on his chest. His soft-yet-firm chest…
“Why not?”
“Because I came over here to… Whenever I got anxious about a performance before, I used to… Comfort myself. With someone.” I admit, guiltily. “And I came here… Looking for that again.”
“I see.”
“And now I’m here; waking you up and just expecting you to do what I want… God damn it, I’m fucking terrible, aren’t I?” He seems so much bigger in this moment. Like, imposingly big. But as I look up to his face, expecting judgement, all I find is mild surprise.
“Why?” He chuckles. “You need help relaxing and, as your boyfriend, I think that’s one of my main jobs. You think being tired would stop me?”
His tired eyes belie his attempt at a debonair smirk, and the twitching in the only piece of clothing he’s wearing… He’s trying, bless him. This feels like the night I confessed to him. I’m all demanding-trauma and he’s all tired-positivity. It’s almost annoying how we often end up back here but it’s the playful banter that gets me to stay.
“Ohhh, I don’t think you’re in any shape to handle me, Taro.” I give him an unimpressed look, despite the little smirk on my lips as my eyes flitter down to his underwear. “Not in your weakened state and all.”
“Maybe you’re right… I could be taken advantage of.” He thinks he’s being cute, and he is.
“You could.” My hands plant themselves on his chest once more and I force him towards the bed. We share a snickering kiss as he bows down to the will of a dead girl walking.
“You gave me real tongue-lashing last time so I just wanted to level with you; this was your Dad’s idea.” Taishi says to me with a quiet, apologetic tone, his words lingering in the chilly air while his grandfather and my Father speak several cars away. “Your Mom tried to talk him out of it too but apparently us getting along is really important.”
“That’s good to know.” I sigh, barely hiding my annoyance. “But, as ever, he’s ignored what I want in favour of his own…”
“I’m sorry… For what it’s worth. I know this isn’t what you want so I’m not going to hit on you.” He looks like a scolded puppy but at least he knows better than last time.
“Good, because I’m not sure if my boyfriend is the jealous type or not.” I snicker.
“Let’s not find out, eh?” He laughs in return and maybe if he was a few years younger, and disabled, we’d have been friends. I’ll take another ally for now though. “How do you want to play this?”
“Keep it friendly but not too friendly, enjoy the show, and I’m sure we’ll all go home happy.” I say, running through the plan in my mind for the sixth or seventh time. The first thing I’m doing once I get backstage is changing out of this ridiculously frilly dress, that’s for damn sure.
“It’s good to see you getting along so well!” My Father chimes in with the most obnoxiously fake enthusiasm I’ve ever heard. Mother’s fake smile is in full beam and the elderly Endo Kasoura shuffles forward on his cane, smiling at me like my grandfather used to. Time to turn on the charm, I suppose.
“Oh hey, we match!” I open with a joke that old people love when they see that I have a cane too and, sure enough, he hacks and heaves out a laugh.
“Exactly what I expect from Jiro’s granddaughter! He always made the worst jokes! It’s good to see you again, Saki.”
“You too, sir. Thank you for coming to the recital; it’s a good cause I assure you.”
“If these children are as talented as you; I don’t doubt it.” He smiles warmly at me and it stirs feelings I haven’t had in a long time. The Kasouras are old family friends in the sense that Endo Kasoura was friends with my grandfather. Not just business partners like my Father’s ‘friends’, but genuine friends.
“Not as talented as Saki but they do their best.” Father callously speaks up. I feel my eye twitch in anger before Mother speaks.
“It’s wonderful that so many talented kids get a chance to showcase themselves. It's the same with the art shows. Who was that surrealist girl, Saki?” Mother says with an encouraging smile.
“Rin Tezuka. She paints with her feet. No arms.” I say, fighting the urge to waggle my arms in the same way she does. “She painted the mural for the last spring festival. It was pretty amazing.”
“Is she? Is that mural still up?” Mr Kasoura’s eyebrows go up with keen interest.
“Unfortunately, no. I think it was sold…” I know it was. By Nomiya. Purportedly for supplies for the art room but I doubt it all went there.
“Saki is also in the art club and has featured prominently in lots of showcases.” Father puffs up his chest proudly and I just can’t help myself.
“I’m nowhere near the best artist in there though.” I explain to Mr Kasoura. “They showcase the flashiest pieces but in terms of raw, technical talent? There’s a few who are leagues ahead of me.”
“You’re just being modest.” Father narrows his eyes at me. Our walk-and-talk brings us to the exterior of the arts wing where lots of other parents are fussing over their kids.
“Wow, there’s lots of you in this thing, huh?” Taishi comments. “Students, I mean.”
“Some are solo acts and others are dueting or have bands. There’s a program floating around… You’ll probably get one as you go in.” I shrug.
“And what are you doing?”
“She’s the headliner, of course! Performing The Lark Ascending, my Father’s favourite piece!” Father speaks again, so sure that that’s what’s happening today. I stay quiet as Mr Kasoura and Father excitedly talk amongst themselves.
“I’m not the headliner, I’m just on last.” I whisper to Taishi and he nods.
“Yeeeeeah, my Mom always talks like that too. Like I’m God’s gift.” He grumbles, rolling his eyes as Mother sidles up to us.
“How are you feeling, darling?” She asks and I simply shrug back. This façade is old hat for me but knowing Mother is more mindful helps.
“A little nervous… But I’ll be okay.”
“Well if you need anything; come find me, okay?” She rubs my left arm so softly I barely feel it but my Father’s hand planting itself on my right bicep? I definitely feel the grip tighten.
“Now why would she need anything? She’s going to do great.” He smiles, flexing his fingers around me. “Isn’t that right, Saki?”
“Yes, Father.” I’m trying not to grit my teeth at his touch but he’s making it very difficult.
“Good. I want the Kasouras to see you shine for who you really are: Saki Enomoto!”
In between performances, the stage is a mad rush as the entire club puts in work to make the next performance ready to go for whoever is next. I changed into my PE sweatpants and a plain black t-shirt as soon as I was out of sight of my parents and their guests. It made it easier to support my club-mates with technical stuff or even helping with make-up.
“Umm, Enomoto?” A quiet voice asks halfway through Kaz’s band’s set. Kimiko stands there, in a pretty spiffy, yet still feminine, suit. She nervously clutches the violin I gifted to her and her eyes drift from side-to-side.
“You can call me Saki, Kimiko. Did you need help with anything? You’re up next.” Her eyes snap in the vague direction of my voice but still don’t meet my gaze.
“My, um, my parents are here today and they should be in the second row, near the aisle. Can you… Can you watch them during my performance?”
“Umm, sure, let me have a quick look. Stay here.” I place a supportive hand on her bicep and then hobble over to the edge of the curtain, where there’s a gap. In between the band on stage - absolutely killing it, I might add - I scan the crowd and pick out a couple with the same hair colour as Kimiko, who I’d seen talking to her outside. They look like nice, average parents.
My eyes naturally drift a few rows back to my parents and their guests, only to find my Father talking incessantly to Mr Kasoura. I grit my teeth and seethe quietly as I go back to Kimiko.
“I’ve found them. So you just want me to watch their reactions?”
“Please? I can’t talk to them until we’re all done so I’d like to know if they liked it.” She gives an embarrassed little smile and I place my hand on her bicep again.
“Of course.”
Kaz’s band finish up and there’s a pretty good applause for such a relatively small crowd. The auditorium can hold around a hundred bodies so between parents, other students, and a few people from the town; it’s about half full.
“Good work, everyone!” Mrs Sakamoto calls out as the outer curtains are closed and the inner ones opened so the band can shift their gear. I help as best I can, wheeling an amp away after unplugging the leads. Mrs Sakamoto makes sure Kimiko has everything she needs as Yuki sets up the microphone on the designated mark.
“Okay everyone, I’m going to announce Kimiko. If you’re helping set-up Ritsu’s piano set, you can stay, otherwise I need the rest of you all to head into the music room!”
“Knock ‘em dead, Kimiko.” I beam at the blind girl but the enthusiasm of my voice does better to inspire her as I guide her to her mark. Mrs Sakamoto’s introduction ends and the curtains shift to hide us from the crowd.
I post myself back in the corner where I can watch Kimiko perform Sonata No. 1 in G Minor. Can’t beat the classics. Watching her parents’ faces though? That just makes it more beautiful. The pride, the joy, it’s painted on their faces so brightly I can see it all the way from back here. I wish she could see how proud they look but I’ll do my best to describe it.
I can’t help but let my attention drift to my family again and my Father is still yammering away! That asshole! Thankfully, Mr Kasoura holds up his hand to tell him to stop as he seems focused on the performance. Makes sense given his relationship with my Grandfather. Mother and Taishi seem to be enjoying it well enough too.
Kimiko finishes up with a flourish and I join the applause. Her parents jump to their feet, the loudest of anyone. I hope she can here them in particular as she bows graciously and the curtains close on her.
She steps back once the inner curtains open and wipes her eyes, a huge smile on her face. The other clubmates who are helping backstage congratulate her in turn before hurrying to help Ritsu set-up and I join Kimiko off to the side.
“That was beautiful, Kimiko.”
“Th-Thanks…” She places her violin down and wipes her eyes some more. “Did you, uh, see…?”
“I did and they loved it! They were cheering the loudest at the end too!” I say with a proud smile of my own as she splutters a laugh before emotion overwhelms her. She reaches for me and hangs on tightly as she weeps tears of joy. It takes me a second to react but I eventually wrap my arms around her.
“Th-Thank you, S-Saki.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to check the piano microphone? It should still be good from Ritsu’s performance.” Yuki asks, clipping a radio transmitter to the elasticated band of my track suit pants. I finish feeding the microphone wire down my t-shirt, holding the plug back to Yuki.
“Nope, I just need this mic sound to be spot-on. You know the piano’s just for show anyway, I already recorded a backing track on the off-chance my ataxia flared up.” I feel the plug be inserted and the dial tested.
“I know, just thought you’d like to have the crispest sound… Okaaaay, signal seems strong. Lemme just…” She goes to the broadcast console we borrowed from the theatre club and picks up a set of headphones. Fuuka was actually really helpful showing us how to use it, despite our history. “Go ahead.”
“Testing, testing, one, two, three.” I speak normally then harmonise a few notes. Yuki gives me the okay symbol and I lean my head down toward the mic to whisper. “Can you still hear this?”
She nods.
“Cool. Can you hear yourself?”
“I don’t know but-oh, there it is. Wow, that’s a good mic, it’s only a little lower than your regular speaking voice.”
“That should be okay then. Thanks, Yuki.” That’ll be fine for what I need. I hope so anyway.
“Final audio checks all do-wait, why aren’t you dressed?” Mrs Sakamoto comes over, looking flustered after an hour of emceeing and making sure everyone is prepared. I’m certainly not helping, I’m sure.
“I’m all set. All good, Yuki?” I look back at Yuki and she gives me a thumbs-up. Mrs Sakamoto looks around confused.
“Where’s your violin?!” Mrs Sakamoto looks panicked but I simply shrug.
“Sorry, don’t have it, doing something else.”
“Ohhh, I wish you’d have told me…” Yeah, but then you would have told Father and I can’t have that…
“Don’t worry, Mrs Sakamoto, I’ll smooth things over with the crowd! I mean, seems only right I take the heat for changing the program.” I smirk while Mrs Sakamoto is clearly weighing up her options.
“Are you comfortable going out there and telling them that?” She looks at me warily and I know she’s thinking about my Father’s response. I’m sure he pressed upon her the importance of my appearance in the show, hence me being the headliner.
“Of course! Yuki, the music track is queued up, just let me sit at the piano before you start it.”
I nod to them both before standing on the mark we’ve been using between the curtains and allow them to open, revealing myself to the world. Plain black t-shirt, PE tracksuit bottoms, cane, slightly frazzled hair, and a charming smile.
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! I hope you’ve all been enjoying the performances so far and would ask that you all give another round of applause to the amazing members of the music club!” I make big sweeping gestures with my arms toward the back and allow the audience to clap.
My eyes scan the crowd and find my friends in the back row of the room, clapping with gusto. Then I check on my family and Father has finally stopped talking. Begrudgingly, he’s clapping. I lock eyes with him as the applause dies down.
“My name is Saki Enomoto and I am here to inform you that there is a change in the program. I was set to play violin but, for many reasons, I’m not going to follow Kimiko Chidori’s amazing performance. Please, another round of applause for her, she did great!”
While they clap for Kimiko, I smile and take my place next to the piano.
“For my performance, I would like to dedicate it to some extra special people in the audience.” I linger on my family before tilting my head up to telegraph me looking elsewhere. “To my friends; Rika and Miki, and to my boyfriend, Taro.”
“You’ve all made the last six months a time of introspection and epiphany. Before, I felt like a fraud; constantly lying to everyone around me and, worse still, being a bully to my peers. I lashed out. I never really felt any control over my life since my spinocerebellar ataxia diagnosis, and the fact that I would deteriorate and die at a very young age.”
I give the audience a moment for that to sink in. Pensive faces stare back at me as I take a breath.
“You showed me I could live a better way, be a better person. That I could live my life how I wanted to; in spite of my terminal prognosis and in defiance of the forces that seek to control me.” My chest puffs up as I gaze fondly at the three people who’ve shown me a better way to be.
“That’s why the last song of this recital, and my last public performance ever…” I pause to let that sink in, especially for my Father. “Goes out to you guys. I… I love you.”
I blow a kiss in their direction then go take my seat at the piano, glancing at my Father’s barely contained fury. I breathe a heavy sigh and position my hands so I can mime the recording I made while I put everything into my vocals.
As I begin to sing, I’m reminded of why this duet was the perfect choice. Sung from two points of view, the duality of it matches two of the facets of my existence so far but, more importantly, allows me to share a small glimpse of my experiences and my love for my friends because, after all…
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better? But because I know you - all of you - I have been changed…
Maybe… Just maybe…
For Good.
As the other club members mingle with their parents, I linger in the backstage area and make sure the the levels on the broadcast console when I’m snatched out of the darkness and dragged further back and into the music room.
“I can’t believe you! You think you’re so clever! You lied to my face, in front of the Kasouras no less! You made me look like a damn fool! I can’t believe this… All of that shit you were saying just jeopardised months of careful planning and smooth-talking!” Father releases his vice-like grip of my arm as he all but tosses me into the music room, away from prying ears. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”
“I did exactly what you said to; I showed them who Saki Enomoto is!” I stumble back from the force but find my footing and stand my ground. I’ve thought of a thousand things to say because I fully expected he’d react this way. I hold my head up indignantly. “Who I am; not what you want me to be.”
“What? A nobody? A loser? All of the time and money put into moulding you into the perfect… And, and you just… Do you know what you’ve done? What you’ve jeopardised?”
“I have an idea but then again, I don’t really give a damn! You don’t get to decide what I do! I don’t want to be a prodigy anymore! I don’t think I ever did…”
“I never had any of my father’s talent but you do! Why waste all of that doing… Nothing? And what about Taishi? Think about all the Kasouras can offer! You’re throwing your future away, you stupid girl!”
“If you want to align with the Kasouras so badly? You fucking marry into them!” I spit back. “Why should I waste what little time I have chasing your stupid dreams? Or being a trophy wife?”
“Don’t talk to me like that you ungrateful little-! You are your grandfather’s legacy, our family’s legacy! You have so much talent-”
“You realise music and art takes more than raw talent, right?” I interrupt, cutting off his tirade. “I have a friend who paints with her feet; do you think that shit is in any way innate?”
“Have you paid any attention while I’ve been here? Do you have any clue how hard it is for an artist or musician who can only use one arm? Or is blind? Do you know what that takes?” He looks almost confused, like the very idea that anyone else here mattered was completely foreign to him. That just makes me angrier.
“It takes passion! Practice! It’s dedication!” My voice is raw and weak from performing but my anger carries me through; building to a crescendo.
“But then… The only thing you’ve ever dedicated your life to is making everyone else’s worse.”
The smugness I feel in finally telling off my Father is soon replaced with the red hot shock of an open-palmed slap across my face. I spill onto the floor and my cane clatters to the ground a few feet away from me as Father looms over me. His breathing is laboured, his face red with anger mixed with shock; like he never expected he’d do that.
“Y-you h-hit me!” I stammer as the sting of my cheek fades quickly, fear and adrenaline rush my system. Holding my face, I scramble for my cane, I can’t believe he actually did that. “You f-fucking psycho! You hit me!”
“You-You deserved it! I am your Father and you will respect me!” He growls, his mask of control fully slipped, revealing the maliciousness that was always there. “You might think you’re clever but you’re still just a stupid, broken child!”
There’s the sound of heavy, rapid footfalls approaching the door to the backstage and a scuffle as the door is wrenched open violently and my heroes arrive.
“Get away from her!” Taro angrily screams but doesn’t get a foot through the door before dark-skinned arms wrap around his torso and his knees buckle from the full weight of Miki pressing on the back of them. She wrestles him to the ground like a cowgirl with a bull, slowing him enough to let other people flow in.
Mother, Rika, Nurse, Mrs Sakamoto, and a couple security guards; gasping and murmuring. Mother and Nurse storm towards me but security are quicker and grab hold of my Father by his arms, demanding he come with them.
“What do you think you’re doing?! Do you know who I-” Father’s indignant protests are silenced as Mother slaps him across the face. She snarls furiously but as she goes to swing again, security pulls Father away and escorts him out of the room.
Rika and Nurse help me up and place me on a nearby desk to examine me. Mrs Sakamoto hovers just behind them and they all bombard me with questions. I feel a little woozy, honestly.
All the while, I never take my eyes off Mother. Her anger turns to horror as she turns to look at me, mouthing the words ‘I’m sorry’ as Mrs Sakamoto goes to comfort her. I wince as Nurse prods at my cheek, probably to get my attention.
“Yeah, it hurts, geez!” I hiss. Rika’s eyes flicker across body and settle on my lower half and I realise that the shock did have another effect besides my face.
“Do you need me to fetch you another…?” She asks with a loaded tone.
“Spares are in my backpack over there.” I nod towards my backpack. Rika dutifully trots over and retrieves it as Miki and Taro get up from the floor. His face is a mix of concern and conflict as his shoulders heave with frustration. He looks back and forth at me and then at the door where my Father was taken.
“Take a walk! She’s got enough folk lookin’ out for her.” Miki orders, before catching Taro’s arm and directing him the opposite direction to where security took my Father. “That way, dumbass.”
Taro snorts through his nose, flexing his fingers as he stomps into the corridor of the arts wing. Miki looks over and I give her an approving nod. She pensively smirks and gives a curt nod in response before calling out again, wrangling Taro vocally.
“Is she going to be alright, Doc?” Rika asks as Mother sidles up just behind her.
“I think we should take her to my office, to get you an ice pack.” He advises to my Mother and then to me. We both agree and he eases me onto my feet, Rika handing me my cane. Mother moves to the other side of me to help me along as my legs shake.
“Rika; is the hallway clear?” Nurse asks, causing her to jog over to the door Taro and Miki left through. She turns to give a cheeky salute.
“Route secured.” We make a move toward her but I slow when I remember that Mrs Sakamoto is still hovering around me, my Mother, and Nurse.
“Hang on, I just need to…” I unclip the radio transmitter from my tracksuit bottoms and check it for damage. I switch it off, finally, and begin feeding the wire to my lapel mic back out of my t-shirt before handing both to a shocked Mrs Sakamoto.
“Forgot I was even wearing it.” I lie.
“I know they say everyone’s got a plan until you’re smacked in the face but the plan shouldn’t be to be smacked in the face.” Miki’s flabbergasted expression makes me laugh, which I immediately regret and have to adjust the ice pack on my face.
After making sure I was okay and giving my statement to the police, Mother urged me to leave things to her and check-in with my friends. I called Miki and Taro back to the auditorium, Rika and I meeting them there. We mostly sit on the stage, surrounded by silence - Rika on my right, Taro with his left arm cradled around my waist, and Miki standing in front of us.
“I didn’t think he’d actually do it! Who knew he was such a thin-skinned pussy…” I say, mostly to get a laugh out of Miki.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me…” Taro mutters. “I could have been there to protect you…”
“I’m sorry for lying. I didn’t want you to get in trouble.”
“He’s not going to be looking for revenge, right?” Rika looks worried, gesturing to herself and Taro.
“I doubt it.” I shake my head. “He just publicly assaulted me in front of a business associate and a couple dozen witnesses, not to mention the absolute hell Mother is going to put him through… He made quite the spectacle of himself.”
“Saki… Are you going to be okay?” Taro asks and I hear in his voice how terrible he’s feeling. He’s angry at himself for not protecting me and not getting hold of my Father. As fun as that might have been, I don’t want my Father to have more to use against him.
“Probably not.” I sigh as I nuzzle into Taro’s shoulder. “But that can be tomorrow’s problem. I’m just happy to be here with you guys.”
“Speaking of tomorrow’s problem; that’s Hisao. I’ll be back in a minute.” Rika clambers to her feet, chuckling as she pulls her chiming phone from her pocket and steps away.
I watch her step to the side of the stage and a smile creep across her face. I’m glad they eventually managed to figure out how to be friends. Even if they didn’t work out, they’re still there for each other.
“How long do you think this can last?” I pull away from Taro, turning to face him.
“Is this about Hisao and Rika?” Taro asks, as empathic as ever.
“A bit, but it’s also because, well, me. We both know about the ticking clock I’m on and aaaall this shit to do with my family…”
“And you’re wondering if I’ll stick around?” Is it big-headed of me to think that he would; even if I didn’t ask him to? He’s always been the helpful sort of guy but expecting him to stay with me while I slowly deteriorate is asking too much of anyone.
“I suppose I am. I have an expiration date, after all.”
“I thought only the good died young.” He smirks knowingly at me and it sends us both into giggling fits.
“Just…” I grab hold of his face, “Let me…” and press my lips against his. “Finish!”
His pudgy face smirks in my hands and he huffs a contented sigh through my nose. I never would have thought he’d be my type and now I actually care about this big goofball.
“There’s going to be even rougher times ahead, if you can believe it, and I don’t want to burden you as it gets worse. So… I’m officially giving you an out. If my condition gets too much - or even if I get too much - then just pull the cord.”
His smirk fades, his eyes become sad, and his hand reaches up to take hold of mine.
“Understood.” He brings my arms down and leans forward, kissing my forehead. “But I hope, by now, you know how much of a hopeless optimist I am.”
“I’ve heard.” I smile demurely back at him.
“Good, and you’ve met Miki, right?” I giggle as he gestures to our stray-catching friend. “So you should know that even if you’re a massive pain in my ass; I’ll always be there with a helping hand.”
“Love you too, tons-of-fun.” Miki laughs sarcastically.
“Not as much as I do.” I beam before kissing Taro deeply.
