Consolidation - A Hanako AU

[Alex FRD]

Author's Introduction
Salve everyone, It's Alex. Some of you might already know me as that guy who pops up everywhere, but I suppose I should leave a proper introduction. Like many of you, reading Katawa Shoujo was an extremely enjoyable experience for me in my younger years. I was immediately captivated by the unforgettable characters, the wonderful story, and the heartbreaking tragedies. I remember that as soon as I finished reading Katawa Shoujo, I turned to the Renai and Fanfiction.net in search of more Katawa content to enjoy. It's here that I discovered incredible stories like Sisterhood, Psu-Psu Suzu, Learning to Fly, and many others. That was back in 2016. 3 years later, I joined the KS Discord server and got to talk to many of you directly, creating fun memories, memes, and sharing in the trauma that was Haniko RP (NOW!! ).

Backstory of the Story
After 8 years of being a passive reader of KS fanfictions, I decided to dive headfirst into writing and created my own little AU story centered around Hanako, my first route and "best girl". The idea came to me one night right as I was about to go to bed and the next morning I cracked open Word and wrote for 5 straight days, only stopping to sleep and eat. What began as just one small scene that I never planned on sharing eventually became a 10K-word, 20 page document with multiple scenes and character perspectives. And now, after a month of fine-tuning it with the help of a few friends and proofreaders, I feel it's ready for publishing.

General info
Why write this?
Other than my being a Hanabro through and through, I always felt that her character deserved better than she got in her route. No disrespect to Cpl_Crud or anyone who worked on her route, and I'm not delusional enough to think I could do better, this is just my crack at an alternate scenario.

What's the meaning of the title?
My version of Hanako in this story is not quite the one we know. I won't give too many details for a number of reasons, but I think you'll understand once you've read enough of it.

Will there be more?
I'm currently writing more chapters than the three I'll be posting here, but if your question is "Are you going to do an entire Hanako AU Route?", the answer is "most likely not".

Well, without further ado, let's get this show on the road.

Consolidation

Table of Contents

Mutual Presents
Painful Histories
You're So Wonderful
Like Family
Coffee Deficiency Disorder
Reassurances
Exposure (About 50% complete)
Veracium (About 2% complete)
Clarity (About 3% complete)
House Satou (In the abstract phase)
Evening of the Stars (In the abstract phase)
Behind These Purple Eyes (In the abstract phase)
Way Back Home (Whatever is before abstract)
One Last Game (About 5% complete)
We're Here (In the abstract phase)
Future Perfect (In the abstract phase)

[Alex FRD]

Mutual Presents

PoV: Hisao

I begin making my way over to the girls’ dorms, Hanako’s gift in hand. I figured that now’s as good a time as any to give it to her; I can tell that Lilly’s absence has been weighing her down even more than it has me. Lilly and Hanako share a special bond; if they didn’t look so strikingly different, one could easily think Hanako was Lilly’s sister alongside Akira.

While gift hunting in the city with Lilly, a few items caught my attention in the quaint little antique store known as Othello’s Antiques. Although Lilly and I had already found our respective gifts for Hanako, another item in the store caught my attention. It was a beautiful chess set with natural, undyed coral pieces. I feel a bit guilty recalling all the cloak and dagger necessary to obtain this extra gift, but thankfully, Akira and Hideaki were kind enough to be discreet. The only thing that depresses me more is the sizable hole in my funds that it left. Guess I’ll be sustaining myself with water, Lilly’s tea, and Yamaku’s sublime cafeteria food for the next month… or two.

I decided against presenting the chess set to Hanako at her birthday party. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I would somehow be downplaying Lilly’s contribution to the event. I came to find out later that Lilly’s gift was worth nearly twice the amount of both of mine combined. I still can’t decide whether to be flabbergasted at Lilly’s apparent wealth, or somehow dejected at the idea that my gifts are somehow worth less.

That’s just ridiculous. What matters is the thought and intent, not the price. It sounds like something Lilly would say, I think. Or at least, that’s how I’m currently rationalizing it to make myself feel better. Anyway, enough moping. Back to the task at hand.

Making my way down the hall to her room, I arrive at my destination. And now…

…

This is the part where I knock on her door. Any second now, I’ll knock on her door. Knocking; it’s a simple concept, Nakai. Why can’t I knock on this damn door?!

Standing in front of Hanako’s door, the full realization of what I’m doing hits me like a truck at full speed. I’m about to give Hanako a gift, seemingly for no reason. Her birthday party was different; she’s my friend and gifts are to be expected, but this? Guys don’t give presents to girls out of the blue unless…

Suddenly, all of the resolve I had has drained out of me and I’m left standing here, wrapped gift in hand, completely frozen. Why am I doing this? I chose to hold off giving this to her during her birthday party, my excuse being not wanting to upstage Lilly, but how true is that? I know Lilly well enough that she wouldn’t be upset over something so trivial. It just dawned on me that I was using her as an excuse to hide my true intentions…

After collecting my thoughts, it becomes clear to me why I’m really here, as if the maelstrom in my head just vanished and everything made perfect sense. Why did I get Hanako another gift? Because I wanted to make her happy. Why did I wait until now? Because I wanted this moment to be just between us. And why is that? Because I like seeing her happy. I like making her happy. I like her.

…

I move my free hand to my chest, expecting my heart to be two beats from exploding, but I feel nothing. Barring its uncommon pace, it’s functioning entirely as it should be. Looks like my heart is saying yes, but what about the rest of me? Maybe I should start with my hand, just need to move it from my chest to the door…

---

PoV: Hanako

I can’t seem to focus. Lilly’s sudden departure to Scotland has occupied more of my thoughts than I’m comfortable admitting. Ever since I’ve met her, there has scarcely been a time where we aren’t together. She was always kind to me, never once has she judged my mannerisms or my distaste for social activities.

Naturally, of course, she’s also never judged my appearance. The nagging part of my brain that kept insisting that was only because she physically couldn’t do so was silenced when I met her sister, Akira. For the briefest of moments, I truly felt like an equal among friends for the first time in a decade… but all good things come to an end, they say.

Over time, Lilly’s attitude toward me changed. What was once friendship morphed into something akin to a caretaker-dependent relationship. Her attempts to make me come out of the fortress I had built around myself for all these years became bolder and more frequent. To her, I’m sure it feels like she’s trying to help, yet to me, it feels like my sanctuary is being invaded. With a smile. Always with that damned smile.

I wish I had the courage to tell Lilly how I really feel about it. How infuriating her coddling is, how it makes me feel so worthless. She treats me like a pathetic, broken person in need of constant protection. I hate it, I hate how belittling it is, how powerless it makes me feel. More than anything, I hate myself for my cowardice that prevents me from telling her any of this.

Just as quick as I feel my venom rising, it leaves me. Despite all this, I could never bring myself to hate Lilly. She’s been, until recently, my one and only friend ever since… that night. She cares about me, and I know she’d do anything to help me. That, at least, I know for a fact comes from genuine friendship. I just wish I had a way to show her that I have the strength to do the same, for myself and for her.

I rise from my bed and glance around my room. If Lilly could see, she’d probably describe it as “spartan”. There’s nothing but the simplest of necessities here; no posters of boy bands or pictures of friends and family, just my bed, desk, and a few shelves containing various inconsequential items. However, one shelf in particular catches my attention, with increasing frequency lately.

On it sit three items: a little wooden doll in a blue Victorian-era dress, a light brown teddy bear, and a tattered stuffed rabbit... I close my eyes and take a deep breath to fight off the rising sorrow within me and focus on the former two. Hisao and Lilly, whose idea I’m sure it was, decided to host a small early birthday party for me. Knowing Lilly, I knew she would do something along those lines, but what I never expected were these gifts.

At the time, I tried searching my memory for the last time I received gifts from anyone. Unfortunately, it turned out the answer was sitting on my shelf in the room next door, my Petra¹. How I managed to avoid a breakdown right then and there is a mystery. For a moment, it reminded me of just how… empty my life has been for the past ten years; that the last time I received anything other than pity from anyone was a child's toy from my parents. Enough. Focus on the present, Ikezawa.

Heh. Smooth, Hanako, real smooth.

Despite the bittersweetness of it all, I can’t help but smile at the gesture. Lilly’s bear is about the same size as Petra and addictingly soft, I feel no shame in admitting that despite my age, I cuddled with that bear like a baby. Meanwhile, Hisao’s doll is very beautiful and intricately designed. If it had blonde hair, I’d swear it was a custom-made mini-Lilly.

Hisao. Now there’s an interesting subject. When it was first announced that we’d be getting a new student, I paid no mind. Just another person who would stare, just another person to avoid. I don’t think I’ve ever been so wrong in my life. Ever since meeting him, Hisao has been nothing but kind to me. Even though our introduction was… more than a little awkward, I’m very glad I can call him my friend.

…

How long will it last? How long will it be before he sees me as nothing more than some poor, broken person in need of shielding from the world? How long before he devolves from friend to protector? How long would I be able to take it?

I shake off the idea. I refuse to allow that. Perhaps Lilly’s sojourn to Scotland is exactly what I need to prove to my friends that I can do things on my own. I’ve been considering spending some time in the Newspaper Club, as a matter of fact. Maybe I could-

Knock Knock Knock

The sound of knocking at my door shakes me out of my thoughts. Three gentle knocks, always in rapid succession, yet discreetly quiet. There’s only one person in all of Yamaku who knocks like that and would come see me. I make my way to the door and open it just a bit, and sure enough, the object of my thoughts stands on the other side.

“Hisao?”

“Hey, Hanako. Uh…”

He seems to be… struggling? That’s unexpected. Usually, I’m the one fumbling over my words. It’s very taxing for me to speak calmly to someone, even with Lilly, there are moments where my infernal stuttering rears its head. With Hisao though, I find myself at an ease that I’ve yet to find a proper word to describe. I’m getting off topic…

“Is… something wrong?” I say in a low tone.

“Wrong? Ah, no, things are fine, I guess.”

'Fine.' The word used by teenagers everywhere when things are absolutely not fine. This is very unlike Hisao; he’s always so stubbornly headstrong, even to a fault at times. If there’s something bothering him, I wouldn’t want the nosier of my hallmates to overhear. That just leaves me with one option… one I’m terrified to suggest.

I can do this. It’s Hisao. He’s someone special to me. Very special…

“Would y-you… like to… c-come in?”

It takes an unfathomable amount of mental effort to force that question out of my mouth. The fact I managed it with minimal stuttering is nothing short of a miracle. Hisao’s eyes widen for a moment, then relax again.

“Ah, if you don’t mind…”

I can’t help but smile at this rare display of shyness from Hisao, it’s kind of cute. As I open the door all the way, however, my girlish thoughts subside and are replaced by my usual pessimistic musings. Is he OK? Did something happen? Oh, gods… is Lilly alright?!

Hisao enters my room and closes the door behind him, then turns to face me. Now that he’s inside, I notice the opaque bag in his hands. It takes a few moments for my mind to make the connection to where I’d seen something similar before; it’s the same kind of bag he and Lilly had my birthday presents in. The negative thoughts from before evaporate in an instant, replaced with confusion and curiosity.

“Hanako, I, uh… I have something for you. I hope you like it.”

Hisao quickly presents the gift to me, arms outstretched and all. It takes me a few seconds before I can react, accepting the gift and taking it in my hands. From what I can tell from touch alone, this feels much larger and firmer than the birthday presents I received.
I carefully undo the wrapping, just as I had done with his and Lilly’s other gifts. I nearly come to a full stop as soon as I notice the familiar white-and-black square pattern.

“This is…”

I finish unwrapping what I now know is a chess set, one of high quality, at that. I take a moment to take in every detail; in so doing I accidentally trigger a mechanism that reveals a compartment for storing the pieces. Taking one in my hand, it’s as intricately detailed as the board itself. Though I can’t quite make out whatever material this is, I can tell that they’re hand-carved with an expert level of care and dexterity.
“They’re coral. Natural and undyed, or so I’ve been told.”

Hisao’s words snap me back to reality; I almost forgot he was there! With great care, I place the board and piece on my desk, then turn to face him. He looks less nervous than before, but I think I know exactly what he needs to put him at ease…

“Thank you, Hisao. It’s a very nice gift,” I say with a smile. I mean what I say, but now I find myself with a whole slew of questions. Hisao visibly relaxes at my words, a smile of his own appearing on his face. He has a nice smile…

“I’m glad you like it,” he says while still smiling. Silence looms over us for a few seconds, one that I cannot afford to become awkward. Well, in for a penny…

“Hisao?”

“Yeah?”

…

“Why? Y-You were at my b-birthday…”

DAMN IT! Way to go, Ikezawa! Now he’s going to think I’m ungrateful or that-

“Oh, heh… Well, thing is…”

Hisao’s nerves come back with full force, immediately plucking me out of whatever destination my mind was racing towards. I’ve never seen him like this; Hisao is usually confident, if a bit aloof, or at least that’s what I’ve observed whenever the three of us are together. I don’t know what he’s like when he’s with Lilly. Alone with Lilly…

“Since Lilly had just the one present, I figured… Well, not that it should matter, I think…”

What? I can feel my face contorting into a look of confusion. Hisao is bouncing back and forth as if he’s trying to come up with an excuse for his missing homework and failing spectacularly. Eventually, he runs out of things to say and just sighs heavily.

“Oh, who am I kidding? I barely believed that excuse, myself.”

I have no idea what he’s talking about, and it’s making me anxious. Maybe I should just drop the subject entirely for both our sakes. He was just being a good friend, that’s all. Isn’t that what friends do? What would I know about friendship? Did I really think that I could be more to anyone than just some-

“I just wanted to make you happy,” Hisao finally blurts out. Every thought I had in my head grinds to a screeching halt. I can barely even remember what I was just thinking about. Did I just… did he just… did I hear that right? I think he’s as shocked as I am, because he’s looking off to the side and trying to recompose himself.

“I… like seeing you happy,” his voice has lowered considerably, but I can hear it clear as crystal.

---

PoV: Hisao

Before I can stop myself, those words escape my mouth as if I were a man possessed.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!

No more than 5 minutes ago, I was struggling to knock on the door, and now I’ve gone and shot myself in the foot by blurting that out! Hanako looks visibly shaken by my words; she’s staring directly at me, mouth slightly ajar. I can only imagine what she’s thinking, and it’s nothing good.

Before I can make an even greater ass out of myself than I already have, I think it’s best I head back to my dorm. Hopefully this will all blow over and she’ll have forgotten all about it by the time Lilly gets back.

“Anyway, uh… I should get going. Curfew soon.”

I turn away and open Hanako’s door, then step out. Putting on the best smile I can right now, I turn around, but right as I’m about to wish her goodnight, she breaks the silence.

“Hisao?”

“Hm?”

Well, so much for my escape plan. I was hoping this conversation could wait until later so I could think of a response, but it seems Hanako has other ideas. After what feels like an eternity, Hanako begins to make her way towards me, hands held close to her chest.

My legs are frozen in place, but my mind is racing at a speed that could put Emi to shame. After a moment, Hanako is standing a couple of steps in front of me, just beyond the frame of her bedroom door.

I hear a quiet yet sharp intake of breath, and before I can fully comprehend what’s happening, I can feel Hanako’s hand on my right cheek and her lips on my left. All the tension in my body melts away in an instant, at the same time, my head suddenly feels a little fuzzy.

It ends as quickly as it started, with Hanako gently pulling away and putting her hands on her door. Hanako… she just… did that just happen?

“’Night, Hisao…”

She’s avoiding eye contact, but I’m pretty sure she’s smiling. If I had to guess, I’m probably grinning like an idiot myself. Just as the door is about to close completely, I manage to find my voice.

“’Night, Hanako…”

Click

By the time I regain my senses, I realize that I’ve been standing in front of Hanako’s door, hand where her lips used to be, for a solid two minutes. Making my way out of the girls’ dorms and to my own, I feel… lighter? Calmer? Whatever this feeling is, I hope to experience more of it in the future, especially with the girl who’s made me feel this way.

---

*** Bonus: Hanako’s PoV Extended ***

Oh. Oh, gods. Is this really happening?

Nobody, especially not a boy, has ever said something like that to me. As such, I’m completely at a loss for how to proceed. The logical and cautious side of me is saying that he means that in the most platonic way possible. Friends look out for each other, so why wouldn’t he want to make me happy? Yet, the other side of me, the one that dares to hope… I dare not let those thoughts in my head, not yet.

“Anyway, uh… I should get going. Curfew soon.”

Hisao seems to have collected himself, but his smile is gone. He makes his way out of my room and stops outside my doorframe. He’s smiling again, but it’s different than the one from before. I like the one from before. I want the one from before. I need to say something. I need to do something. Wake up, Ikezawa!

“Hisao?”

“Hm?”

He visibly perks up at this, he probably expected to hear a reply from me about as much as I expected to be able to give one.

…

Against every instinct I have, every single protective barrier I’ve built around myself for the past decade, I slowly make my way towards Hisao. Despite the nagging-turned-screaming voice in my head that’s telling me to stop, to just say goodnight and hide away, I keep going. Before I know it, I’m opposite to Hisao; him just outside my room, me just inside.

In all my years of reading, I don’t think I’ve ever found a word that could properly describe how much effort what I’m about to do is going to take. Before I can allow myself to second-guess, I put my left hand to Hisao’s cheek, raise myself just a little, and plant a kiss on his other cheek.

Oh-gods-oh-gods-oh-gods-what-was-I-thinking-what-have-I-done-Lilly-will-never-believe-this-oh-wow

“’Night, Hisao…”

I can’t even bear to look at his face right now I’m so embarrassed and my face is hot I think I’m smiling and I feel like I’m about to pass out I just need to keep calm for a few seconds and close the door to my room very slowly yes just like that OK very good…

“’Night, Hanako…”

No sooner do I close and lock the door than the immensity of what I just did crashes down on me. Holy SHIT! What in the name of every deity known to mankind was I thinking?! How could I do that?! Hisao is one of my closest friends and I feel like I’ve just violated his trust because of my stupid, selfish desires. Yet… I can’t stop repeating Hisao’s words in my head.

“I just wanted to make you happy. I like seeing you happy.”

Could he really think that way about me? Hisao is a good friend, but sometimes he is very hard to understand. Right now, he feels impossible to understand. I hope I haven’t just messed everything up…

I can’t think straight right now, I’m so exhausted. Making my way to my bed, I gingerly grab the teddy bear and Petra, then settle myself into bed with them. I need all the support I can get…

---

¹ Meet the Nakais by AceLions.

► Show Spoiler

Author's notes: I did not intend for there to be a parallel between Lilly and Hanako kissing Hisao’s cheek for receiving their respective presents. Chronologically, this scene should take place at around the same time Hanako returns to class after being absent for a few days. Ideally, this scene replaces Hisao’s second phone call with Lilly in A World Away (Act 3).

[Alex FRD]

Painful Histories

PoV: Hisao

It’s so peaceful out here. The Satou summer home is a rare sight in Japan these days, an opinion I shared with my companions when we arrived. Currently, I find myself on the front porch of the house, looking outward at the vast wheat field that surrounds us, the setting Sun bathing it all in a stunning orange light. As for my aforementioned company, Lilly is currently in the living room reading the book that she had started on the train ride over. As for Hanako, she’s standing beside me, seemingly mesmerized by the sheer beauty of the scene before us.

Hanako and I haven’t had many opportunities to talk since the… event that took place in her room a few days ago², but I’ve noticed a striking change in Hanako in that short time. Ever since that night, she hasn’t stuttered once when speaking to me or Lilly, and I’ve noticed a subtle change in her tone of voice, at least when it’s just the three of us. All of this pales in comparison to the biggest surprise of the day, though. Once we arrived at the house, she wasted no time removing her jacket and hat. Never in a thousand years did I think I’d ever see Hanako have the confidence to do such a thing, especially around anyone other than Lilly. The sight of Hanako so… exposed, for lack of a better word, was enough to chase away the creeping sleepiness that had gripped me as soon as we walked in the door. Thank God I was able to look away before she noticed me staring.

Speaking of staring, I can’t help but continually glance over at the girl standing just to my right. Her eyes are closed, and her head is held high, content to just feel the wind gently caress her face and hair. She looks stunning.

After a few moments of bliss, she opens her eyes and turns toward me, a serious look on her face. Oh… here it comes. This is it, isn’t it? It’s time for the dreaded “so about the other day” conversation…

“Hisao?”

“What’s up?”

She stays silent for a few seconds, her head looking upward. This isn’t like her usual, nervous silences. She’s searching, but for what exactly, I can’t tell.

“What are you like?”

… What? That’s definitely not what I expected to hear from her. I don’t know whether to be relieved at my stay of execution, confused by the strangeness of her question, or disappointed in the further delay of our inevitable talk. Why am I making such a big deal about it?

“I don’t think I understand.”

“I… don’t think we’ve ever actually talked much. I want to…”

She trails off, but I get the message. She wants to know more about me, which makes perfect sense. Despite my interest in Hanako, it occurs to me that I also know relatively little about her, myself. If this is going anywhere, this is as good a place to start as any other.

“Well…”

I proceed to tell Hanako all there is to say: my home life growing up, my old group of friends, how I had to learn to fend for myself due to my parents’ long work hours. Hanako looks and listens wordlessly, the occasional nod signaling that I have her full attention. When I get to the topic of my heart, though…

“… then one day I… I got a note from a girl I liked. She asked me if, well, you know… and that was it. Next thing I know, I’m waking up in the hospital. My classmates made it a point to send their… condolences, I guess. Lots of get-well cards, stuff like that. But, when it was just my three close friends and Iwanako, that’s the girl I mentioned, who would come to visit, I realized it was all for show. Most likely, a class project or something. Then… eventually, my friends stopped coming. Iwanako was the last to see me. We… didn’t say anything to each other, but…”

Hanako’s expression shifts to one of… worry? Pain? Whether it’s out of empathy or because I’ve dug up some long-repressed memory of her own past, I can’t tell. I hope it’s the former. Either way, I should move on.

“The doctor and my parents agreed it would be best if I didn’t return to my old school, so off I went to Yamaku. 24-hour-nursing staff, catered for students with disabilities, it had everything I “needed”, according to them.”

I can feel my mood begin to sour. Despite all my efforts to adjust to this new life, it takes very little for melancholy to catch me in its grasp. Shaking it off, I soldier on.

“But it’s not so bad. I’ll take 34 pills over spending another minute in the hospital any day.”

At this, Hanako’s eyes and mouth widen in shock. Was it something I said?

“Thirty-four?!” she blurts out, and I’m pretty sure Lilly heard her, too. Calming herself, she repeats her question in a lower tone.

“Yeah, 17 in the morning, 17 at night. Which reminds me, gotta be sure to take them before I head to bed. Or futon, rather.”

A small giggle escapes her at the mention of my exile from the bedroom, but her look of concern is quick to return.

“I’m OK, Hanako, I promise. Like I said, it’s better than a hospital stay.”

At this, she visibly relaxes.

“And that’s pretty much the story of Hisao Nakai. Thank you… for listening. I… hadn’t told anyone the whole story, until now.”

“Thank you… for sharing all that with me, Hisao.”

Though she’s smiling, I can tell there’s something… off about her. I can’t place my finger on it, but I can tell there’s something on her mind.

---

PoV: Hanako

I had no idea. Hisao and I are more alike than I thought; we both lost so much so quickly, forced to adjust in such an impossibly short time, we were discarded by the people we thought were our friends, and we both will carry reminders of it for the rest of our lives. Where do we go from here?

Hisao has borne his soul to me; I feel closer to him than I ever have with anyone else… even Lilly. Can I really do the same? I’ve only ever told Lilly the basics; there was never any need to go beyond that, but after everything Hisao has told me, I feel obligated to return his trust and share my own past. I have to do this. If I want him to truly see me as an equal, I have to tell him everything. Everything. I can do this…

Wordlessly, I move my hand up to the long bangs of hair that cover the right side of my face. No turning back now…

“You’ve told me your past… now I need to show you mine…”

“… Hanako?”

Without hesitation, I move my hair out of the way and tuck it behind my ear.³ He’s never seen this much of me, nobody has. Hisao is looking deep into my eyes; if such a thing were possible, I’d swear he was reading my heart.

“The fire happened when I was eight years old…”

---

PoV: Hisao

I’m completely transfixed. Though Hanako had told me before about the fire that changed her life, she had only given me vague, surface-level details. Now, though, she’s telling me everything. She’s showing me everything. Images flash in my head as she speaks; of her mother sacrificing herself to protect Hanako from the engulfing inferno, of her father carrying her through the flames, of a scared little girl crawling on the snow, reaching out for her father as he is crushed by their collapsing home. I can feel a tear run down my cheek, the first one in a very long time.⁴

“Now you know me. All of me.”

Hanako’s words sound shaky; the moisture in her eyes tells me that her composure is teetering on the edge of total collapse. I don’t think there’s anything I could say that could reassure her, nor will I try. Nothing I could say can bring her parents back nor undo the ten years of Hell she’s had to endure. There’s only one thing I can think of to do, and I pray it’s the right thing to do.

Steeling my nerves, I move my hand to Hanako’s, which is gripping on the wood of the house’s deck railing and give it a gentle squeeze.

“Thank you, Hanako.”

She lets out a small gasp at my touch but doesn’t recoil. Only now do I realize I’ve grabbed her scarred hand, her left hand currently wiping the tears from her eyes. She says nothing, but the smile on her face says more than words ever could. There’s a new understanding between us, a level of trust that neither I nor her have ever shared with anyone. The orange light of the sky is gone by now, replaced entirely by starlight. Hanako and I share a knowing look and wordlessly agree; it’s probably best to turn in for the night. I let go of her hand and she clasps it with her other, neither of us saying anything as we make our way back inside.

---

² According to ProfAllister’s calendar of events, Mutual Presents will need to take place on Thursday, July 12 for this thing to be chronologically consistent. In other words, exactly two days before this scene. Decided to make this scene take place about a week later, instead.
³ Not ashamed to admit that I smiled every time Hanako did this in dewelar’s Developments.
⁴ Future by Cpl_Crud.

► Show Spoiler

*** Bonus 1: Extended (depreciated) Hanako PoV ***
(I think it’s better to have Hisao hint at the script changes than Have Hanako state them directly. Plus, sad Hanako dialogue is hard to write, and I feel like there’s too many gaps in her speech. At least my inability to do this right forced me to write a much better Hisao PoV.)

Arduous. That’s the only word I can think of that describes how difficult this is for me, and yet, I endure and continue. Hisao hasn’t said a word nor looked away, the only interruption to our eye contact being my occasional pauses to collect myself.

“My father… was carrying me, but we got separated. The fire, it…”

I rub my left hand along my right arm. Hisao seems to understand, nodding slowly and quietly. After wiping away the growing moisture in my eyes, I continue.

“My mother… shielded me as best she could. I survived, but she…”

…

“My father found me and pried me away from her. With what little strength he had left, he threw me out into the snow… right as the house… and everything…”

► Show Spoiler

*** Bonus 2: Alternate (depreciated) talk scene ***
(Keeping this for future reference, this completely broke the flow of the conversation I was going for.)

I can feel my mood begin to sour. Despite all my efforts to adjust to this new life, it takes very little for melancholy to catch me in its grasp. The next words come out with more venom than I intended, and I immediately regret them.

“Now, too much exertion or even a stray elbow to the chest can be dangerous. On top of that, I need to be sure I take a whole cocktail of medication twice a day, or else…

I catch and silence myself, but it’s too late. Hanako is visibly distraught at my words, and the look on her face breaks my heart. She lowers her gaze, eyes filled with regret. Damn it… fix this, Nakai, now.

“Hanako, I… I’m sorry. I’m still adjusting to… everything.”

Nothing, not even the tiniest of nods. There’s only one thing I can think of to say to brighten the mood, and it’s nothing but the pure truth, one I’ve come to accept.

“You know, in spite of everything, I am thankful for one thing. My time with you and Lilly has made me the happiest I’ve been since my heart attack.

(Nope, this isn’t working. Back to the drawing board. Bad end, choo choo!)

► Show Spoiler

Author’s notes: This took me 7 hours to write, good God. I feel that the biggest criticism I’ll get for this scene is “Hanako has grown too much too quickly”, to which the only reply I can think of is “Yeah, like in Lilly’s route.” It’s odd; as best I can tell, Hanako metamorphizes into a confident young woman about a week (2 days if we use Prof’s calendar) after being at her lowest point in the entire story. Ah well, this is meant to be an AU, so I won’t be too anal about the timeline and character personalities (see how easy it is to have creative freedom when you make your own timeline, Emil Pagliarulo?)

[Alex FRD]

You're So Wonderful

PoV: Hisao

As Hanako and I make our way back inside, Lilly perks up and sets her book aside, a smile on her face.

“Welcome back.”

“Hey, Lilly,” I say, barely managing to cover my mouth as I yawn. It proves to be contagious, since Hanako follows my lead.

“My my, tired already?” Lilly is masking her amused smile with one hand; I think she actually doesn’t have any clue what time it is. This opportunity is too good to pass up…

“Um, it’s actually dark out already…” Hanako interjects before I have a chance to say anything.

Ah, damn! So much for that idea. Still, the look on Lilly’s face as it morphs from humor to genuine shock is priceless. Ah well, different methods, same result.

“Oh dear. I seem to have gotten a little too engrossed in my reading. I hope you weren’t too bored.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I think we all needed to relax and take in the atmosphere after such a long trip.”

“Well said, Hisao. I believe some rest and relaxation did us all some good.”

I make my way to my bag and fish out my medication. Thankfully, I had pre-arranged my doses already, so this shouldn’t take long. Just as I’m about to head to the kitchen for some water, Hanako appears next to me, full glass in hand.

“Here,” she says as she offers it to me, a smile adorning her face. I really, really like her smile. Smiling back, I accept the glass and thank her, downing my pills with a few gulps. She heads to her and Lilly’s room, presumably to prepare for bed. I take the glass back to the kitchen and give it a quick wash, then go about my own bedtime preparations. By the time I’m back to the living room, I feel completely drained. Sweet, glorious futon, here I come. Just as I’m about to settle in, a nightgown-clad Hanako emerges, standing about halfway between the hallway leading to her room and the living room.

“Hey, Hanako. Everything OK?”

She nods, eyes heavy with sleep. Though she’s standing a bit far, I can make out the faint redness in her cheeks.

“I just wanted to say… goodnight, Hisao.” She raises her hand in a small wave, one I return. My hand feels heavy from fatigue, but I can manage this much.

“Goodnight, Hanako. Sleep well.”

“You, too.” And with that, she retreats into the hallway, and I hear the door to the bedroom close. I switch off the lights and make myself comfortable on the futon; it’s actually pretty cozy. Just before sleep grips me, I find myself thinking of Hanako. She really is an amazing girl…

---

The next morning passes by uneventfully. I wake up, down my cocktail of medications, and have breakfast with Lilly and Hanako. Today we’ve planned to go into the nearby town to do some shopping and have lunch. In the time between breakfast and the afternoon, I heard on the news that today’s going to be a bit of a scorcher. I make a mental note to take some extra water with me, maybe ditch the sweater vest for the time being. Arrhythmia, heat, and long walks don’t mix well. Heh. All that’s missing is a bar and we can reach the punchline; Hisao-

“Hisao, are you ready?”

Lilly’s question cuts my bad comedy routine short; guess it’s time to head into town. Lilly’s dressed in her usual casual attire, cane in hand.

“Ah yeah, just need to grab some water for the road. By the way, where’s Ha…na…”

The wind is completely knocked from my sails as my eyes land on Hanako. Standing just behind Lilly, she’s wearing a dazzling light-yellow dress, adorned with lilac-colored frills at the straps, around her chest, and at the skirt. As odd as it sounds, I can’t help but think it was made just for her; the light-dark contrast between the dress’s yellow and lilac matches perfectly with Hanako’s fair and burnt skin⁵. She’s gorgeous.

“I’m… here.”

Her gaze is cast downward, and her body is turned slightly away from me. It only takes a second to see why; nothing is covering the scar tissue on her right arm. Upon noticing this, a sudden realization dawns on me. I’ve seen Hanako’s hand before, even held it yesterday, but I’ve never seen beyond her cuff. Even yesterday, the sleeves of her blouse obscured my view of her skin. Now, I can see that her scarring extends far beyond that; all the way up her arm and, I assume, even further.

Consolidation Hanako Dress No Speech Upscaled.jpg (1006.36 KiB) Viewed 143 times

“Ah, yeah. Hi.”

“Is something wrong, Hisao? You seem distracted,” Lilly says. Only now do I realize I was barely able to piece together that poor excuse of a sentence.

“Yeah sorry, I was just thinking about some-thing.” Nice going, jackass. There’s no way she didn’t notice that slip-up.

“If you insist. We’d best be off, it’s quite a walk.”

The expression on her face tells me that she knows more than she’s letting on, but she thankfully doesn’t press the issue any further. Without further delay, we head off. As we make our way, I notice that Hanako has barely said anything since we left the house, her focus being entirely on the road ahead. I hope nothing’s wrong…

---

I can honestly say that this was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time. Once we arrived in town, Hanako and Lilly were quick to do some clothes shopping, which thankfully didn’t take too long. At the insistence of my female companions, I got myself a change of clothes. Looks like I’ll be having Yamaku’s cafeteria food for three months…

Afterwards, Lilly treated us to a nice lunch and some ice cream to fight off the increasing summer heat. With our business concluded, we began our trek back to the house. At the rate we’re going, we should arrive there well before sunset. There’s just one thing that’s been bothering me…

Hanako has barely uttered a word after this morning. The more time passes, the more I dread I’m the one responsible for her discomfort. I think Lilly’s noticed this, too; around lunchtime I felt a subtle drop in her mood. When we finally arrive back at the house, Lilly speaks up.

“Hanako, would you mind giving Hisao and I some privacy? There’s something important we need to discuss.”

Lilly’s stern tone startles both Hanako and I, I don’t think I’ve ever heard her talk like this. Hanako is the first to respond.

“S-sure. I’ll just… get some f-fresh air…”

My eyes linger on Hanako as she makes her way out of the house and closes the door behind her. When I turn to face Lilly, I notice she’s sitting at the table, her hands clasped in front of her and a serious look on her face. I know that look; it’s the kind my parents would give me just before a stern lecture due to some lackluster performance on a test. With rising trepidation, I take the seat across from her. Sensing my presence, she speaks.

“Hisao. Normally, I wouldn’t pry into the personal business of my friends like this, but under the present circumstances, I feel I must act.”

“Lilly, what’s going on? I’ll be honest, you’re worrying me.”

That’s the understatement of the century. In all the time I’ve known Lilly, I’ve never heard her talk like this. I think the closest she has ever come was that duel of wits that she and Shizune had so long ago. At my words, Lilly relaxes her stern look, but remains resolute.

“I apologize, Hisao. Please, allow me to explain. I’m sure you’ve realized that Hanako has been acting strange today. From what I gather, you and she have grown quite close over the past few days, and I am hoping you can help me understand what is happening.”

This conversation took an unexpected turn. I feel a considerable amount of tension leave my body, but it’s quickly replaced with concern. So, I wasn’t wrong; Lilly noticed it, too. What I still don’t get is why Lilly is bringing this up now. Does Lilly do this often; just intervene whenever Hanako is feeling down? Was her hands-off approach during Hanako’s birthday an exception? How does that make Hanako feel?

“I noticed it myself, actually. I wish I had an answer for you, but I’m at a loss. Things seemed so great yesterday. Even this morning at breakfast, everything seemed fine.”

“Agreed. Had this begun in town, I would have simply dismissed it as Hanako’s usual fear of crowds. However, her unusual silence on the way there gave me the impression that something else was the cause.”

“Something or someone?” That probably came out way more accusatory than I intended, but right now, I need answers. If Lilly also thinks I’ve upset Hanako somehow, she’d be in a great position to tell me.

As much as I believe I’ve grown close to Hanako over the past month, that pales in comparison to Lilly and Hanako’s longstanding friendship.

“I’m sorry, Hisao. When we were in town, I asked Hanako if something was bothering her. All she said was "Hisao looked at me." I could tell from her tone that she was holding back her emotions.”

I “looked at her?” What the Hell does that mean? My first thought is to yesterday evening when Hanako showed me the hidden side of her face, but that can’t be it, she wanted me to see. I rack my brain for any other explanation; it had to have been at some point today between breakfast and-

Oh. Oh no. Realization hits me at full force, as if everything has fallen into place and then crashed down on my head at terminal velocity. This morning, when I first saw her in her dress. While all I could see was radiant beauty, all she could see was her supposed friend gawking at her. And what was it I said? “Uh, yeah, hi”? Fucking brilliant, Nakai…

“Hisao?”

“I… this morning, just before we left. I saw Hanako and… I think I… may have been staring at her…”

Lilly lets out a deep sigh, her expression changing into one of concerned understanding.

“That’s… unfortunate. You know how she feels about that, Hisao.”

My first instinct is to counter, but I manage to restrain myself. As cruel as it sounds, Lilly could never understand. She has her ways, but I don’t think Lilly can comprehend physical beauty. At least, not in the same way I do. I hate myself for admitting this, but what else can I do? If Lilly could see what I see…

“It’s not like I was looking at her scars or anything, I just… I wish you could see her, Lilly. Hanako is so beautiful, stunning, even. She’s one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, she’s so patient and understanding. Her scars don’t do much to diminish her beauty⁶, and oh God when she smiles… it’s enough to make me forget everything and just…”

Want to be with her, at her side. I stop myself just short of declaring that out loud, realizing how much of my feelings for Hanako I’ve just revealed to her best friend. Lilly’s face has completely transformed; her eyes are wide open and her lips slightly ajar. Quickly though, she recomposes herself, her eyes closing and a half smile on her face.

“Hisao… What do you think of Hanako?”

“I don’t follow.” Yes, I do. I know exactly what she’s asking. I’m just too scared to say it out loud.

“Hisao.”

Her stern tone is back, and her smile has left. Damn, if there was ever any doubt that she could pull off the “stern disciplinarian” look, it’s gone now. If she ever has kids, they will never get away with anything.

“I… I think…” No, I don’t think. In all of this, I realize just how much I care about her. My feelings for Hanako aren’t the same I have for Lilly, they’re not even the same I had for Iwanako. The thought of losing Hanako, especially to something like this, frightens me to my core.

“I love her, Lilly.”

Lilly’s entire body relaxes as soon as the words leave me, her eyes close and her lips form a wide smile. I can’t help but follow her example. Being able to admit my feelings for Hanako makes me feel so good.

“In all honesty, I had suspected it for some time. It’s good to hear you confirm it.”

“You knew? How?”

“Come now, Hisao. Surely, you’ve heard of women’s intuition?”

“Oh, I see. Fine, keep your secrets.”

We both share a brief chuckle at this, but we need to focus. I’ve hurt Hanako, even if by accident. I can’t just leave things the way they are.

“What do I do, Lilly? I have to make this right. I can’t bear the thought of losing Hanako over some stupid misunderstanding.” The thought crosses my mind of how infuriatingly often that cliché occurs in media. Sorry, but I won’t allow my life to become some cheap romance manga.

“I think it’s time for you to be as honest with her as you were with yourself, Hisao. If Hanako is even half the woman you describe her to be, she deserves to know.”

I figured she’d say that. I know it’s what I have to do, it’s what I want to do, but I’m still afraid. Afraid of messing things up, afraid that she doesn’t feel the same way. Afraid of my own damn heart.

“I know you're right, but I'm nervous. What if she says no? I don't want her out of my life.”

“Then you simply remain as friends. I trust you both to have that maturity.”

“Thanks, Lilly.”

“You’re welcome, Hisao. However, if I am correct, you are almost out of time.”

It takes me a second to get what she means; the sky has begun to shift colors, if I don’t get a move on, Hanako will return, and I’ll have missed my chance. With a deep and determined breath, I get up from the table and head for the door.

“Wish me luck!”

---

PoV: Hanako

Maybe I should head back. The Sun has started setting, I’m sure they’re done talking by now. The only thing stopping me is the idea of facing Hisao. I know he means well, but I’m sure he’ll ask if everything is alright just as soon as I walk in the door. Even Lilly noticed my silence today; it took a great amount of effort to hold back my nerves and give her just the vaguest of answers when she asked if something was amiss. “Hisao looked at me”, not untrue, but not very descriptive, either.

The truth is, I’m not sure how I feel right now. Last night, I showed Hisao more of myself than I ever have to anyone. Despite all my fears and insecurities, he didn’t pity me or look down on me; he accepted me. However, Hisao’s lingering gaze on me just before we left this morning made me question whether I went too far too quickly. Hisao is a hard man to read at times, and his expression this morning was one of those times. His stoic, almost catatonic expression sent my mind into a spiraling mess; was he disgusted at the realization of how badly I’m scarred? Curious about the extent of said scarring? Confused by my choice in attire? Was he pitting me? Does he find me attractive?

Those and many more questions swam in my head for the duration of our trip into town, and I’m no closer to finding the right answer than I was hours ago. Although Hisao and I have grown to trust one another, I don’t even want to imagine having that conversation with him. I don’t think I have a choice.

Just as I’m about to stand and head for home, I hear footsteps approaching from behind.

---

PoV: Hisao

Making my way out of the house, I scan my surroundings for Hanako. Sure enough, her dark hair is a striking contrast to the yellow of the wheat field, making her easy to spot. She’s sitting just a few meters away from the house, the small hill the house is perched on giving her a great view of the surrounding land. Determined, I get closer until I’m within earshot. Heart, don’t fail me now.

“Hanako?”

She turns around to look at me and brings herself up to her feet, her unobscured eyes making contact with mine. I’m glad she still trusts me enough for that.

“Hi, Hisao. Is everything OK?”

“Hey, yeah, everything’s fine, Lilly just had something important she wanted to talk about.”

“Hm.”

Silence. Alright, then. I close some of the distance between us a little but leave enough room for her to feel comfortable. I’ve got this…

“Hanako, I… What do you think of me?”

“Eh? What… I think? Um…”

Her eyes cast downward for a few seconds, then back up at me. After taking a moment to collect her thoughts, she continues.

“Hisao… when I got to Yamaku, I didn’t have any friends. I was content with being alone, out of sight and mind for everyone. But then, when Lilly moved into the room next to mine, everything changed.”

Hanako is speaking with such clarity and confidence that I can’t help but wonder if this is the same girl I met in the library all that time ago. She tells me about how her and Lilly’s friendship began, how she slowly began to rebuild trust in people… but then, her tone shifts.

“But… It felt like… it feels like she’s just trying to save me from the world. That’s not what I want… I want her to see that I can be strong, that I can do things on my own. I didn’t know how to do that without hurting her…”

Despite the sadness in her voice, I can see just how determined she is to show her strength. My understanding of Hanako as a person has completely changed, yet my feelings for her haven’t diminished. If anything, they’re stronger.

“Then… I met you. You were different. You always treated me like… like I wasn’t different or… broken. You saw me… for who I want to be. You have no idea how much that means to me.”

Her words cause a stirring in my chest that I’ve never felt before. Now more than ever, I want to be by her side, to be her confidant, to stand by her no matter what fate throws at us.

“There was a time when I thought that… if I didn’t do something, you would start to see me different. That if I didn’t prove to you that I was strong, you’d start to see me as someone who needs protection, too.”

Is it possible to be confused and understanding at the same time? Is there a word for such a thing? I get where she’s coming from, and if I’m being honest with myself, there were some moments where I thought and acted more like her shield than her friend. I won’t allow myself to make that mistake again.

“What do you mean, that if you didn’t do something? I’m not sure I understand.”

“When you came to visit me after my birthday and gave me your chess set… I felt different. The fear I had of you eventually looking down on me went away, and I… was so happy that I…”

Her face has turned a noticeable shade of red, and I feel my cheeks burning as I realize what she’s talking about. I bring my fingers up to my cheek where Hanako planted her kiss just a few days ago, recalling the feeling of her soft lips on my skin. The time has come, Nakai…

“I was afraid… that I had crossed a line, I couldn’t bring myself to talk to you about it. I’m… really sorry, Hisao.”

“Don’t be. Truth be told I… really enjoyed it.”

I can’t bear to keep eye contact as I finish that sentence, looking away in embarrassment. Gah, I feel like a giddy middle schooler. Once I’ve regained my composure, I notice that Hanako has completely lost hers; she’s hugging herself and looking slightly downward, her face completely flushed. She looks like a giddy middle schooler. After a moment, her gaze returns to me.

“When Lilly invited us here, I made the decision to prove to you both that I could be strong. Then, when you told me everything yesterday… I knew I could. So, I decided… to wear this…”

And all the pieces finally fall in place. This isn’t how I expected to reach this point of our conversation, but whatever force or deity has led me here, you have my gratitude.⁷ I need to approach this subject very carefully. I know Hanako isn’t happy with my staring at her this morning, I just need to find a way to let her know it’s because I was enthralled, not revolted.

“But… you seemed a bit reserved today.”

“Yes… When I saw that you were… looking at me, a lot of things went through my mind. Some part of me hoped you thought I looked… pretty. But I wasn’t sure, and not knowing scared me. Other parts of me thought that… you’d…”

She runs her left hand along the scarring on her right arm, all the way from her wrist to her shoulder. Lilly and I were completely wrong. She wasn’t retreating into herself, nor was she offended by my looking at her; she was afraid that by showing too much of herself to me, I’d be so repulsed that I’d want to distance myself from her. Alright, Hisao… it’s time.

“I would never do that, Hanako. I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate your trust, not just in letting me know you, but in letting me see you, too. I’d like to put your mind at ease; I think you look stunning.”

Hanako’s mouth opens in surprise, and I can hear her take a shaky breath as tears begin to form in her eyes. It’s now or never.

“But… I’m so…”⁸

“Hanako… I think you’re a wonderful, beautiful girl. I love you, and I want you to be by my side.”

God, I should have rehearsed this, that was so generic… Hanako’s eyes widen in shock, and she says nothing. The tears haven’t stopped, and for the life of me, I can’t get a read on her expression at all. Just as fear starts gripping my mind, Hanako launches herself into my chest, arms wrapping tightly around me. She’s careful to aim her head away from my heart and land gently, thankfully.

“Hisao… for so long… that’s what I’ve wanted to hear…”

I can hear faint sobs from her and feel my chest getting wet, but I don’t worry; I know her tears aren’t of pain or sorrow. I gently wrap my arms around her, holding her in a tight embrace. This feels so right. For however long or short this moment lasts, everything feels so right. When it passes and we separate, she is the first to speak.

“I’m sorry, Hisao… I’ve messed up everything… I hope you still enjoyed today…”

Despite her words, she says them with a smile between small sniffles. I help Hanako to wipe away some of the stray tears on her cheeks; she doesn’t flinch away or protest.

“Hana… today was one of the best days of my life. I’m glad I was able to spend it with you.”

“Oh, Hisao… you shouldn’t say things like that… you might have to carry me back to the house at this rate.”

“Oh well, then I’d better hold back. I’m not sure I have the upper body strength for that.”

Her expression changes to one of concern, but it quickly disappears as she realizes what I mean and lets out a small giggle.

“You're mean... and terrible at teasing.”

“You started it.”

“Meanie.”

The sky over us has begun shifting from orange to violet. I take it as an indicator that we should get back inside.

“We should head back; it’s getting dark and Lilly’s gonna start worrying if we take too long.”

“Oh right, Lilly! I need to help her make dinner, too.”

Without further delay, I offer my hand to Hanako, who happily accepts, and we begin to make our way back to the house. Just as we’re about to reach it, however, she stops and speaks up.

“Hisao?”

“Yeah?”

“Um… earlier you said… about when I… you said you liked when I kissed you?”

“Heh, yeah, it was really nice. I liked it. I liked it a lot.”

She lets out a giggle and gives me one of the sweetest smiles I’ve ever seen. I love this girl so much.

“Then… maybe you’ll like this, too?”

“Hanako…?”

Just like that day in her room, Hanako places her soft hand on my cheek. This time, however, her lips land on mine. The surprise only lasts an instant, and I return her affection in kind, wrapping my arms around her and bringing her closer. No matter what our future holds in store, I’m comforted by the fact I’ll have this wonderful woman by my side for it.

---

⁵ Maestro, you brilliant fuck.
⁶ Guest Poster, you are an artist.
⁷ You're welcome, now don't fuck it up.
⁸ Yes, this entire scene was inspired by that one sentence in Raita's sketch.

► Show Spoiler

*** “Bonus”: Original script of Hanako’s musings. ***

I can’t get his face out of my head. I thought he was different. I trusted him. What a fool I am.

I thought that after everything we shared yesterday, I could show more of myself to him; that I could be myself with him. I was wrong.

I’ll never be able to forget how his expression changed when he saw me. The look of shock on his face is one I’ve seen countless times before
“I was just thinking about something.”

How ugly I am. How revolting the idea of being with me is. How pathetic you must be.

This was a mistake. I was a fool. A goddamned fool. Nobody could ever see me that way, care for me that way… love me that way.

(Oh my God, what am I writing? Blah blah blah, Hanako having images in her head of Lilly and Hisao fucking, etc. Bad end 2, trainwreck boogaloo.)

► Show Spoiler

Author’s notes: I fucking hate writing for Lilly, I fucking hate writing for Lilly, I FUCKING HATE WRITING FOR LILLY! That stupid Lilly scolding session took like 5 fucking hours to write, I hate how half of it turned out; don’t hold back criticism, I know it’s bad. Sisterhood shoutout, don’t sue me, GP. I also know that Hanako going into full “worst case scenario” mode so quickly after the previous scene makes little sense. In my defense, Hisao isn’t the best at facial expressions; the dude barely ever smiles and when he does, they range from “dumbass” to “trying too hard to look sexy”. Blegh, maybe I should rework this later. (Hey, this is 5-minutes-into-the-future Alex here reminding myself and informing the reader that I’m reworking this scene RIGHT FUCKING NOW.) Originally, Hanako assumed the absolute worst and was relapsing hard. This reminded me too much of a fanfic where Hisao gets the bad ending, says like 2 sentences, and 10 minutes later he and Hanako are fucking. Nope, not happening. Instead, we shall stick to the tried and true tradition of “Lilly assumes too much and overdoes it while Hisao is an idiot.” This entire scene took me two entire days to write and re-write. The bonus scene I included isn’t even half of what ended up deleted or reworked. There’s an air of finality to this chapter, that’s because this is all I had planned to write originally before posting it on the Renai. If at some point I decide to write more chapters (like I’m about to do right now) and it seems strange, that’s why.
“Who can understand the bourgeoisie? My goodness that word is hard to write. Like Lilly ” - Tomas

[Alex FRD]

Postface

I am so tired but so satisfied. I began writing this on Sunday, August 4th and today is Friday, August 9th. Apart from a few short interruptions, I’ve done nothing except work on this little fanfic for the past week. I’d been thinking for a few days on how an alternate Hanako route that mixed aspects of her character from other versions of her (mostly from some of Crud's work available on Wordpress) and final release of the game would look like, and this is the result of my experimentation. Whether this works or not, I’ll let the reader decide.

Thank you to EurobeatJester, Grayest, Maestro, Iukyou (Xerge), and Tomas Purifying for their encouragement, helping me with proofreading, and even coming up with a few lines. Y’all are amazing.

Shoutouts to dewelar and Guest Poster for their amazing fanfictions; Developments and Sisterhood, whom I have shamelessly referenced. Your work has inspired many, including myself. Thank you.

Lastly, a heartfelt thank you to you, the reader, for taking the time to read. I hope you find my little thought experiment enjoyable.

[Frankyo]

I read your story and really liked it, I love a strong Hanako that goes for Hisao as well since the feeling is mutual. I liked your Hanako pov more than Hisao's, as a criticism I have to give is that I think Hisao's pov could be better as he felt too exasperated in his thoughts, rather than what I would describe as introspective canonically. I realize that it may be your writing style or a stylistic choice, and hope some others chime in as I'm just a fanfic reader and not a writer, so take my words with a grain of salt.

Maybe not the best example but bad end Hisao's inner thoughts sound like this: I feel numb. Without anything else to do, I begin the walk back to my dormitory room, mechanically placing one foot in front of the other while barely registering a thing around me. My mind keeps ticking, questioning everything that I thought I knew about Hanako. But one thing is not questioned; that shutting that door brought a close to more than that single visit.

[Alex FRD]

I read your story and really liked it, I love a strong Hanako that goes for Hisao as well since the feeling is mutual.

Assertive Hanako is best Hanako.

Critique of Hisao's POVs and how he's written

Yeah, I get what you mean. Hanako wasn't the only character I aimed to change in this project; I wanted to write Hisao to be less... robotic, I guess? I wanted to bring him closer to what an 18-year-old would act like, but not go too far, either. One of the happiest accidents I had while writing this was that a poorly-written Hisao POV made me switch gears to a much better Hanako POV. In fact, I prefer writing from hers than his, but I wanted to strike a balance.

I'm glad you liked the story overall, thanks for giving it a read!

[Alex FRD]

Like Family

PoV: Lilly

I hear the faint sound of the door opening and closing shortly after, indicating the return of my guests.

“We’re back, Lilly,” Hisao calls. Ah, that means that Hanako is with him, a good sign, I presume.

I can hear the sound of their voices; it seems they’re talking. Though I can’t make out what their saying, nor do I intend to, I can tell they’re speaking in a calm matter to one another. It appears that Hisao has succeeded, and I feel a smile forming on my face.

As their conversation ends, I can hear footsteps approaching the kitchen. There is only one set of them; I doubt most men would wear women’s shoes, so it must be…

“Is that Hanako?”

“Hi, Lilly! I’m so sorry, I’ll start preparing things!”

“It’s quite alright, I just got here, myself.” She seems a bit jittery, but not in her usual manner; her tone of voice lets me know that her nerves are being caused by something else entirely. A certain male friend of ours, perhaps? Speaking of whom, I can hear the sound of the television, meaning that Hanako and I will have some measure of privacy for conversation.

As we go about preparing dinner together, a system in place that we’ve perfected over the past year, I can hear the faintest of humming coming from her. Unable to contain my curiosity, I decide to ask the billion-yen question.

“You’re in quite a good mood, Hanako. Has something happened?”

“Ah, well… um… Hisao and I…”

She’s positively beaming. Any doubt I had about the events that have transpired in the past hour are now quashed entirely. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she finally concludes:

“We’re… together now.”

At this, I turn in her direction, the smile on my face widening into a full grin. Although I already knew this, it feels delightful to hear her confirm it.

“That’s wonderful, Hanako. I’m very happy to hear that you and Hisao have grown so close.” I move my hand up to my cheek, now it’s time for a little friendly teasing.

“You simply must give me all the details!”

“Uegh?! Um… w-well, O-OK… but later!”

I didn’t expect a reaction like that. I feel a small pang of guilt; I must remember that this is all new to her, and Hanako isn’t one for sharing the intimate details of her life. After a mental chastising to myself, I return to my conversation with Hanako.

“Of course. “Private girl talk, no boys allowed”, yes?” I hope that my joke helps to ease any discomfort I may have caused her.

A small giggle escapes her lips as she answers: “Right.”

---

PoV: Hisao

I could get used to this. Lilly, Hanako, and I are currently enjoying dinner; the second to last one we’ll have at the summer house. It’s strange; though we’ve only been here for two days, it feels like so much longer. I guess part of that is because of everything that’s happened recently, chief among those being Hanako and mine’s transition from friends to… lovers? Wait, to be considered lovers, don’t we need to… well, I’m not opposed to it, but-

“Well, Hisao. I understand that there has been a recent development between you and Hanako?”

Lilly’s question saves me from my own thoughts. Perfect timing; any longer and standing up would have been a little awkward. Be still my raging hormones… I glance over at Hanako, the guilty look in her eyes contrasting with her blush and smile.

“Aw, I thought we were gonna tell her together?”

“S-sorry, Hisao… I kind of let it slip out.”

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Hisao, but I knew the moment you walked in the door together. I suppose you could chalk it up to that ‘female intuition’ you know so little about.”

Lilly lets out a small giggle at my mock indignation. She just loves to tease, doesn’t she?

“Hmph, well, feminine mind-reading powers or not, what matters is that Hanako and I are together.” I reach over and take Hanako’s hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. She returns the gesture in kind, interlocking some of our fingers.

“And I am very happy for the both of you, I’m sure you’ll make a lovely couple.”

“A lovely couple who are enjoying a delicious dinner and will stay up late watching movies ‘till we fall asleep in the beautiful Hokkaido countryside. I really outdid myself with this first date, huh?”

We all share a laugh, and I just relish a wonderful idea, one that I’ve come to embrace with open arms. The three of us, we’re more than just high school friends, more than mutual support. We’re a family.

“You… still need to sleep on the futon, though.”

“Ouch. Not even an hour dating, and you’re already putting me in the doghouse?”

Hanako playfully sticks her tongue out at me in response, causing me to let out a small chuckle and Lilly to stifle her laughter. Yeah, I could definitely get used to this.

---

The quiet hum of the TV and the cicadas outside are the only things making noise at this hour. Lilly turned in for the night a few hours ago while Hanako and I made ourselves comfortable on the futon for our promised movie marathon. Neither of us are movie buffs, but given our limited options, it was all I could come up with. Thankfully, Hanako thought it would be a fun idea, and here we are. Well… maybe it’s more appropriate to say here I am, since my girlfriend is currently halfway to dreamland.

Consolidation Movie Night.jpg (514.81 KiB) Viewed 124 times

“Hey, should we turn in?”

Hanako says nothing, just gently nods her head while still maintaining it on my shoulder. I switch off the TV and place the remote on the side table, while Hanako readjusts herself on the futon.

“Have fun?”

Hanako nods again as she lets out a yawn, barely opening her eyes afterward.

“I… think I liked the book better, though,” she says as she gets up and stretches a bit.

“You can tell me all about it in the morning, you should get some sleep.”

“You, too, OK?”

“Don’t worry, there’s just one last thing I gotta do before going to bed,” I say while getting up and turning to face her.

“Hm? What?”

“Kiss my girlfriend goodnight, of course. Can I?”

“Y-yes, please.”

Hanako’s surprise only lasts a second before she lets out a small giggle, a tinge of red on her cheeks. With a tender kiss, we say our goodnights and she heads for the bedroom while I lay down on the futon. It doesn’t take very long for sleep to take me.

---

The sound of pounding rain is the first thing I hear as I make my way back to the land of the conscious. Slowly pulling myself up, I can immediately feel my body lamenting the lack of enough sleep. Still, given all that occurred yesterday, I’d say it’s more than worth it. Leaning over and grabbing my bag, I take my morning assortment of pills and get to dry-swallowing them one by one. About halfway done, I notice Hanako walking, well, more like stumbling, into the living room. I guess she’s about as sleep deprived as I am.

“Good morning, Hi…” Her greeting is interrupted by a yawn that, try as she might, she’s unable to stifle. It’s actually pretty cute. “…saaaaao. Sorry.”

“Good morning. Let me guess; the rain got you up?”

She just nods in response, eyes closed as she rubs the sleep from them. When she opens them, she notices me taking a few more of my pills.

“Y-you’re not drinking any water?”

“Nah, didn’t have the energy to stand up. Besides, I’ve gotten used to taking them dry.”

She seems unsure at my words, casting her gaze down a little. I appreciate her concern, but there’s really no need for her to worry so much.

“I’m OK, Hanako, really. I can handle this much.”

She looks up at me again, and after a few seconds, a small smile appears on her lips.

“OK. I trust you.”

Returning her smile, I go back to my medication. Just as I finish the last couple of pills, our host makes her way into the living room, clearly having slept a lot better.

“Good morning, Hanako, Hisao. I trust you enjoyed your evening?”

“It was fun, yeah. We, uh… may have stayed up a bit longer than intended, though. I’m still really tired.”

“To be fair, Hisao, I believe it was your idea to stay up so late. ‘’Till we fall asleep’, was it?”

“Um, actually… that part was… my idea…” Hanako interjects before I can reply.

Lilly’s eyes widen for just a moment, then return to normal. Truth be told, I was just as surprised at Hanako’s suggestion last night as Lilly was just now. I still don’t understand Hanako’s reasoning.¹

“Ah, and Hisao, like the gentleman that he is, agreed to his lady’s suggestion. It seems that my worries about you were misplaced, Hisao.”

“And what, exactly, was there to worry about?”

“My my, what indeed,” she says with that teasing smile of hers. Alright, Satou, you’re on.

“You know, Lilly… ahem Those whomst’d’ve like to tease are usually the ones who harbor secret feelings of their own. Who’s the Prince Charming awaiting the return of Princess Lilly to Castle Yamaku?”

“Hisao~!”

My joke earns a hearty laugh from both of them. I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen Hanako laugh like this, and it’s amazing to see. There’s this indescribable feeling of contentedness I feel whenever she’s happy… so this is what true love feels like. In that case, I’ll do everything in my power to make her happy.

Finally standing, I make my way towards my girlfriend who wastes no time in leaning into me. Kissing her gently on the head, I turn in the direction of the kitchen.

“Well, today’s my turn to make breakfast. I’ll get started on that.”

---

The morning came and went quickly. Thankfully, the rain stopped shortly after we finished breakfast, so the three of us decided to walk about and explore the surprisingly large plot of land that the Satous’ summer home rests on. I can’t help but wonder how extravagant their main home in Inverness must be compared to this one. Midday and the early afternoon were spent lounging about, watching TV, and playing games together. It’s honestly a bit saddening that our little vacation is ending so quickly, more so is the fact that exams are coming up soon and I’ve got next to no clue what it is I want to do after Yamaku.

On top of all that, now I’ve got my relationship with Hanako to think about. She mentioned an interest in joining the Newspaper Club, as an editor, no less. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Hanako loves reading, and a job as editor wouldn’t require much in the form of social interaction from her. I’ve seen Hana come out of her shell more in the past couple of days than in the last month, but I’m not sure if she’s at the point where she can do field reporter work yet. Then again, after everything that’s happened, I shouldn’t underestimate her. I promised myself I’d be her partner, not her caretaker, after all. Whatever the case, I’ll support her no matter what.

Getting up from the bath and drying off, I put on the shirt I bought in town yesterday. It’s a green-and-black polo with a stripe pattern in the middle, adorned with some English lettering I can’t make out. Hanako was the one to point it out and, after describing it to Lilly, I was heavily encouraged to purchase it. I should make it a point to find out whatever this phrase means when I get the chance.

Dressed and ready to go, I turn back to make sure I didn’t leave anything behind. I’d never hear the end of it if halfway through our train ride back to Sendai, I’d have to say “Oh, Madame Lillian, I left my one-of-a-kind sweater vest back at Hokkaido, can we go back for it?”²

Hanako pauses her reading and gives me a quick look-over once I’m back in the living room, a strange look of… satisfaction, I guess, on her face.

“So? Do I wear it well?”

“You look great, Hisao.” She nods confidently as she compliments me; it’s a strange feeling, one I’m not used to quite yet, but definitely enjoy. Hmm… well… she is my girlfriend now, so maybe I should…
“Not half as great as you do. Bath’s free, if you want your turn now.”
Her cheeks turn red at my comment, which she feebly attempts to hide with her book. I am the king of suave.

“I-I’ll go in a s-second.”

As much as I enjoy hearing Hanako speak without a stutter, I can’t help but feel proud of myself whenever I fluster her enough for it to return. Still, I’d best not overdo it. Time to wind things down, and thankfully, I have just the topic in mind to steer the conversation elsewhere.

“By the way, why did you like the book better?”

She looks at me with a look of slight confusion, a couple of seconds of silence pass before she speaks.

“Huh?”

“Last night, you said you liked the book better, remember?” I point at the TV with my thumb, and once she sees this, realization dawns on her.

“Oh, right! Um, I’ll tell you on the train, it’s… a lot.”

“Heh, alright. Looking forward to it.”

She gives me a small smile before returning to her reading, it’s pretty clear she wants to finish up before we head off. In the meantime, I should double-check that I have everything ready. Pills, check, clothes, check…

---

Consolidation Trainride Upscaled 6.jpg (313.44 KiB) Viewed 504 times

---

¹ It’s because she wants to spend more time with you, idiot.
² Fallout: New Vegas – Honest Hearts (This reference fucking sucks, but I’m keeping it.)

► Show Spoiler

*** Bonus: Deleted scenes ***
(I like I Am Legend, but I can’t fit it into the canon. I sure as Hell tried, though.)

“Whatcha reading?” I ask as I move to organize my things and double-check that nothing’s missing.

“Oh, it’s… it’s an old Matheson novel. They’re turning it into a movie, so…”

“You wanna compare them?” She nods, and I continue. “Sounds good. That reminds me, you still owe me your thoughts on last night.”

---

(Funny, yes. Conversation to have on a public train late at night? No.)

“She’s knocked out. Hana could sleep through a typhoon.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Remember her birthday party? No force on Earth or Heaven could wake us up.”

“Hisao, we were drunk,” Lilly recalls with a look of amusement mixed with embarrassment.

“Even so, we slept through an entire day, and we practically had to carry Hanako back to her room.”

► Show Spoiler

Author’s notes: Want to see me break my brain writing for Lilly? WANNA SEE ME DO IT AGAIN?! I like to think that I did this Lilly a little better than in You’re So Wonderful, but I dunno. I don’t feel confident in my ability to write internal monologue for high-class Scottish hāfus with hot sisters and maternity complexes.
Were you expecting a bathtub sex scene already? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Sorry, we’re taking it slow with this relationship.
OK, so I’ve been writing this for like a month now, not because I got a sudden case of writer’s block, but because work is in full force, and I don’t have nearly as much free time as before. Despite that, I’m still pretty determined to continue this little writing project of mine, at least until I get all the concept scenes I have finished. Right now, that number is at about 9 additional scenes, so yeah, plenty more is coming if all goes well. I would best describe this scene as “filler”, I suppose. More “meaty” chapters are on the way, and all that it implies ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°). (Yes, double use of Lenny Face, fuck you.)
Special thanks to Tomas Purifying for proofreading this chapter, it really needed it.

[Alex FRD]

Coffee Deficiency Disorder

PoV: Hisao

BEEP-BEEP BEEP-BEEP BEEP-BEEP BEEP-BEEP

“Uuuuuugh.”

The infernal sound of my alarm clock drags me kicking and screaming from the wonderous land of subconscious into the realm of sleepless reality. Is it morning already? I need coffee.

I reluctantly pull myself up and rub the sleep from my eyes, them slowly adjusting to the morning light. Yeah, it’s definitely morning. Though, in fairness, it’s been morning since we got back to Sendai. We got back around… 4:00, I think? The only reason I’m even awake at the moment is because we managed to get a little sleep on the train. Apparently, my shoulder makes for a very comfortable pillow, at least, according to Hanako. Once we boarded, she made it a stunning 3 minutes before passing out. I vaguely remember having a conversation about something or another with Lilly while Hana slept. I swear, that girl could sleep through a typhoon. I need coffee.

Well, no use in delaying the inevitable any longer. I’d better get going before I’m late, or worse, I bump into Kenji in the bathroom and have to suffer a lecture on the feminist plot to paint the Moon pink or something as utterly ridiculous. God, I’m so tired… I need coffee.

---

Looks like all that rush was for nothing. Half of the class isn’t even here yet, and the other half is only here in the physical sense. This is all despite the fact that the bell rang over 5 minutes ago, though that’s pretty inconsequential right now, since Mutou is among those who are absent. Hanako was barely able to muster the energy to wave at me when I entered the room, which unfortunately, did not go unnoticed by the ever-diligent Student Council President and her human bullhorn who is currently grinning at me. Oh, no, of all days, not today… maybe I’ll be lucky and they’ll just-

“Well, well, well! Isn’t this interesting~!”

Uuuuuuuuugh.

“Welcome back, Hicchan~! Fun-filled weekend, I presume?” says Misha with a level of energy that, if I’m being honest, I’m envious of at the moment. Of course, I know the question is coming from Shizune, and that means it’s designed to squeeze as much information out of me as humanly possible.

“Hi, Misha, Shizune. How was your vacation?” I don’t have the energy to sustain a full-frontal assault from the dynamic duo right now, but maybe, I can stall them long enough until Mutou gets here.

“Perfectly a-de-qu-ate, Hicchan, but that’s not what we’re here to discuss~!”

Or not…

“I have it on good authority that you, Satou, and Ikezawa over there arrived pre-pos-ter-ously late this morning! That’s right, a little birdie told us, Hicchan~! Aaaand~! What’s even more interesting is what she saw you doing!”

I can’t catch a glimpse of Hanako from where I’m sitting, but I can imagine she’d rather be anywhere but here after hearing that. I’m so sorry, Hana. Well, the secret’s out then, not even… five hours since we got back, and people know about us. Honestly, I’m more impressed than upset; who’s up at four in the morning, on a school night no less, spying on people kissing goodnight? Not only that, to then have the time and energy to inform the Student Council just, what, three hours later afterward takes… something. I’m not quite sure what word to use right now. Still need that coffee.

“And who, pray tell, is this ‘birdie’ of yours whom has provided you this information?” She said ‘she’ so it must have been a girl, one who knows us well enough at least to recognize us, even in the dark.

“Ah-ah-ah! The Student Council never reveals its sources, Hicchan~! Besides, Rin isn’t really a bird, she- ooop!” Misha’s eyes practically pop out of her head as she covers her mouth in shock, meanwhile, Shizune pinches the bridge of her nose and exhales deeply. Well, that was easy. I doubt Rin is the kind to spread rumors for the sake of it, no doubt that Shizune somehow coerced it out of her (which is a miracle considering Rin is… well, Rin). Well, no sense in denying it. Besides, it’s not like we wanted it to be a secret or anything like that.

“Fascinating. To answer your question, yes; Hanako and I are dating.”

Before Misha or Shizune can respond, our attention is drawn to the surprisingly energetic Miki Miura, who’s just entered the classroom with the not-surprisingly unenergetic Suzu Suzuki.

“Haha, yes! You hear that, Suzu? You owe me five!”

“Superheroes don’t shake their sidekicks down for cash,” responds her teal-haired companion. Huh?

“I’m off duty! Pay up!”

“Later. Too tired.”

“Spoilsport.”¹

Err, OK? So, anyway… What was I talking about? Oh right, Misha and Shizune.

“Whaha~! Well, good for you two, Hicchan! However, I must remind you that such public displays of affection are usually frowned upon. Awww, c’mon, Shicchan! It’s not like anyone saw!”

“OK ALRIGHT! Jeez!” That probably came out a bit louder than I intended, but I had to stop her before the whole damn floor heard her and got the wrong idea. I’m really happy that Naomi and Natsume aren’t here yet, I can’t imagine Hanako would even consider asking to join the Newspaper Club if they heard all of… that.

“Look, we’re not looking to become the center of attention or anything, OK? We’re just a normal couple. Could you just… try to keep it down?”

Shizune gives me an analytical look before adjusting her glasses and nodding, then signing something to Misha, who gives me a thumbs up. That’s a good thing, I think. I hope.

“You know, Hicchan~ I always thought that if things didn’t work out with Lilly, you’d go after Emi! Rumor has it she had a bit of a crush on you, and she’s a great kisser~!”

“That’s… flattering, Misha, but-”

Wait, WHAT?!

“Um… how do you…?”

“Heheee, use your imagination, Hisao~.”

Well, this has been an… interesting morning. First, my relationship gets outed, then I overhear that Miura and Suzuki placed bets on my love life, and now I find out that Emi and Misha… well, it doesn’t matter. They’re my friends, I think, and I’m not the type to break friendships over that. However, I cannot allow her to get away with teasing me without due retribution.

“I’ll take your word for it, Shiina. Anyway, whatever the case, I’m happy with Hanako. Guess- oh.”

My thought is interrupted as Mutou enters the room, looking more disheveled than usual. Damn! I had a really good comeback, too. He somehow appears to be even more exhausted than we are, as impossible as that may seem, yet still manages to engage into full lecture mode as soon as he drops his belongings on the desk.

“Ah… now everyone… exams. Get ready for them. Now, onto today’s lesson…”

How enlightening. My riveting conversation with Misha cut short, I steel myself for what I can just feel is going to be a very long day…

---

The chimes of the bell are probably the most soothing sound I’ve heard all day. Thank God, it’s over. With classes done for today, I wonder if Hanako would like to go somewhere or perhaps study together for the exams? I’d ask, but she’s currently talking to Naomi and Natsume about, presumably, joining the Newspaper Club. In that case, I’ll-

“HI-SA-O~!”

And there goes that idea.

“That’s unusual. What’s up, Shiina?”

“Aw, c’mon, don’t be like that! Fine, fine, Hicchan. I forgot to ask you earlier, tell me about the trip!”

That’s really unusual. Since when is Misha interested in… oh. I see what’s going on here. I have to admit, that was clever; a true disciple of Shizune, this one.

“Nice try, but you’re not getting a detailed play-by-play of how Hanako and I got together.”

“Awwww~! You’re no fun, Hicchan. Not even a little bit?”

She’s never going to stop, is she? Maybe I’ll throw her a bone just to get her off my back for a while.

“Later, OK? I’ll tell you all about it some other time, but right now, I want to focus on the exams and enjoy the little time I have left before them.”

Misha’s… everything drops considerably at my mention of the exams, I guess she’s not as prepared as she’d like. Then again, who is? Just as quickly as it left, her energy returns.

“Fine, fine! You better keep your promise, Hicchan~!

“Promise? I didn’t-”

“Wahahahaha~!”

I feel an overwhelming sense of dread, as if I’ve just stepped into the mother of all traps. Suddenly, the exams don’t seem so worrisome.

“Hisao?”

The soothing sound of my girlfriend’s voice brings me back to reality. When I turn to look at her, I notice the beaming smile on her face. I don’t need words to confirm it, so I just offer her a hug, which she accepts.

“Congrats, Hana. I knew they’d let you in.”

“W-well, almost. I still have some forms to fill out and some other things… but it’s a start.”

“And that’s worthy of celebration! Wanna head to the Shanghai for a bite?”

“Um, Hisao… aren’t you… broke?”

… Fuck. Hanako picks up at my forlorn side-glance, but rather than the usual stammering apology, she lets out a small giggle.

“I’ll cover it, don’t worry.”

“Hana, I can’t-”

“Shhh…” She silences me with a finger to my lips. After making sure I won’t protest, she removes it. Alright, I guess it’s OK, this time…

“Then… meet me at the gates in 15 minutes? I want to get changed.”

She nods, gives me a quick peck on the cheek, and heads off. That was… new. Hanako is blossoming more and more every day, which I’m very happy to see, but also a bit nervous about. I hope I can keep up.

---

PoV: Hanako

Phew! I’m glad he took that well. I was afraid I’d been a bit too forward, but thankfully, he accepted my proposition without much protest. Hisao is very kind to offer, and even though we’re celebrating my almost joining of the Newspaper Club, I’d like to treat him to something, for once. True to his word, he arrives just in time and dressed in his new shirt.

I can’t help but wonder how long it’ll take him to find out what it says. I’m fairly decent at English, but having Lilly there to confirm it was all the reassurance I needed. Truth be told, it’s a miracle neither of us burst out laughing at the time. Hehehe.

“What’s so funny?”

“N-nothing! J-just, ah… remembering something.”

“Uh, OK, then? Shall we?”

“Let’s.”

We make our way down the hill and into town, chatting all the way. Most of our conversation is in regard to the Newspaper Club and what my responsibilities will be, at least, preliminarily. Naomi and Natsume were very nice and open to the idea of me joining, which was honestly a surprise. No doubt they must have heard all the rumors and gossip that has been spread about me over the years; the fact they were willing to overlook it all and accept me into their circle is very reassuring. It… feels nice, meeting people. First Lilly, then Hisao, now Naomi and Natsume. I never thought I’d think that way again, but… I’m so glad that, perhaps, I was wrong.

Before I realize it, we’re standing in front of the Shanghai. Hisao makes an exaggerated ‘ladies first’ gesture and beckons me inside. Oh, gods, this man…

As we enter, we spot Yuuko at the front counter, but something isn’t right. She looks terrible. Yuuko has always been a little… scatterbrained, but she always finds a way to brighten up eventually. Right now, though? I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone, other than myself on a few occasions, look this dejected and tired. She hasn’t even noticed that we’re here, despite clearly being in her line of sight.

“Y-Yuuko?”

“Huh?! Oh, hi, Hanako, Hisao. Welcome to the Shanghai. Yes, we’re open. Please do not stand on the tables.”

Um… what? What on Earth was that about? Yuuko seems completely lost, I don’t think even she knows what she just said. How should I approach this? I remember something my therapist once said about-

“Is everything OK, Yuuko? You look… really tired.”

… Never mind, then. Ever the diplomat, Hisao addresses the issue directly. While I prefer him to be direct and honest with me, I have to recognize that not everyone will… appreciate it the same way I do. He does look to be genuinely concerned though, so I can’t fault him too much.

“Oh! Yeah, I’m sorry! I did it again, didn’t I? My boss told me to keep it together but it was just such a sudden rush and so chaotic and they just kept piling on orders and screaming and-”

“Whoa, whoa! OK, how about you start from the beginning. Slowly.”

“Sorry, sorry! It’s just that a couple of days ago, there was a sudden downpour, and a ton of kids showed up out of nowhere. It was such a disaster, they just kept shouting and jumping around and catcalling some poor girls from the school…”

That sounds absolutely horrid. I thank every deity I know that I was on the other side of the country when this transpired; I don’t even want to imagine what would have happened if we had been here.

“This place was a warzone by the time they left. It’s been days and I still haven’t recovered…”

“Damn. Sorry you had to go through all that, Yuuko.”

“It’s OK, I’ve survived worse.² Oh! I’m sorry! Let me get you a table!”

Just like that, Yuuko leads us to an empty booth near the back. Once we’ve settled in, we place our orders and Yuuko heads to the back. Hisao and I make brief small talk before she returns with our meals, which she’s barely managing to balance in her hands before-

SLAM!

… she slams them on the table. By some miracle, nothing breaks. I’m not exactly the prime example of grace and poise, but I find it surprising that Yuuko can hold this job down, what with her… ah… klutziness. Based on the admittedly limited information she’s let slip out, the manager of the Shanghai doesn’t seem like the most patient of individuals. Then again, doesn’t everyone complain about their boss?

“Say, Lilly’s not with you guys today? Or did you come up with an excuse to be alone together?”

Oh, that’s right; Yuuko doesn’t know that Hisao and I have started dating. Well, there’s no need to keep it from her.

“Actually, Hisao and I are… I’m his… h-he’s my b-boyfriend.”

“Oh yeah, I knew that already!”

“Wait, what? How?” asks Hisao. Admittedly, I’m curious, too. Lilly hasn’t been here, and the only other people who know are… oh.

“Guess who~!” says the all-too-familiar voice of Misha, whose head has just popped out from the booth behind ours. I knew it. So much for peace and quiet…

“Hi, Hicchan, Hanachan~!”

‘Hanachan’? Oh, gods… I suppose it could be worse. Hisao turns towards her with an expression that just screams ‘what have I done to deserve this?’

“Say, Hicchan, I like your new… wai… BWHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHAHA~!”

Hisao slowly turns to me, then to Yuuko, but neither of us has any idea what’s got Misha so riled up. This is the loudest I’ve heard her laugh in… ever, actually. What could be so funny that-

Oh. Oh, no. Nonononono. Suddenly, I remember that Misha had mentioned her plans to study in America and that she’d even practiced English with Lilly before her and Shizune had their falling out. She knows. She knows and she’s going to tell Hisao and I’m completely screwed-

“Jeez, Misha, what is up with you?” says Hisao between Misha’s loud bursts of glass-shattering laughter.

Consolidation Shanghai Misha Shirt.jpg (744.43 KiB) Viewed 121 times

“Yyyyhhhahahahaha, your shshshshahahahahaha!” She can’t get a word out, but gestures at the left side of her chest; the equivalent of where the offending text is located on Hisao’s shirt. Don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it-

“Oookay, then…” Hisao slowly turns his attention away from her and begins to eat his meal. Misha slinks back into her booth as her laughter dies down, presumably to relay what just happened to Shizune, who I’m assuming is there with her and has no idea what just happened.

I can’t bear to look at him right now, not because I’m ashamed or embarrassed… well, maybe a bit of the latter, but because I just know that he’ll read my expression, and the truth will come out. I’m starting to think this was a seriously bad idea. Damn you for convincing me otherwise, Lilly…

---

We finish our meals, I pay, we get the hell out of the Shanghai before Misha has a chance to corner us. Rather than returning to school, we decide to head to the park in town for a breather. I suddenly feel very tired. We find a vacant bench near some shade, my head immediately landing on Hisao’s shoulder as we sit.

“I’m glad to be out of there.”

“Yeah, sorry, Hana. Didn’t think our dinner would come with a side of punctured eardrums.”

I let out a tired but genuine laugh. Hisao is a pretty funny person when he wants to be. This is quite reassuring, it’s just what I need to decompress after that whirlwind of unpleasant thoughts from earlier.

“It’s… OK. It was still a fun time.” I mean that, I truly do. Spending time with Hisao, just the two of us, is new and refreshing. Of course, there was the occasional chess game or silent reading session in the library, but they’re not the same as this. I wonder, is this what ‘dating’ is like? I like it. Very much.

We stay in the park and enjoy the afternoon air for a while, Hisao eventually checking his watch and gently tapping me on the side.

“Ready to head back up?”

“Mhm.”

Hands clasped together, we make our way back up the hill and past the gates of Yamaku. Along the way, the realization dawned on me that exams are just around the corner. This means that Hisao and I will be preoccupied for a while, so this is probably one of, if not the last social outing we’ll have together until they’re over and done with. It only slightly dampens my mood, though; I know that we’ll have plenty of time for a proper ‘first date’ afterward.

Reaching the entrance to the female dorms, we kiss and part ways for the night, Hisao keeping an eye on me until I’m safely inside. I love that man, more than I’ll ever be able to express with words. In that case, I hope my actions can do my feelings justice.

---

PoV: Hisao

And there she goes. God, I love that woman. Looking up at the sky, I notice the slightest change in its color. That means I better get a move on if I want to make it on time. Time for some detective work.

If I remember correctly, the Newspaper Club is right around… here! I recall that Hanako had mentioned they had computers here, which is exactly what I need. I’m sure there’s probably a computer lab or something I could have checked, but one, I don’t know where that is, and two, I don’t know anyone who does. I kind of stopped exploring the school after the festival.

Luckily, Naomi is still here, though she looks like she’s just about to wrap up and head to the dorms. I hope I’m not intruding too much. Truth be told, I’m starting to have second thoughts about this. I don’t really know her nor Natsume, but I’m at a loss for options. Right now, this is the only hope for completing my quest: I need to find out what it says on this shirt.

Steeling myself, I make my presence known.

“Oh, hello, Hisao!”

“Ah, hi, Naomi. Good to see you,” I manage… and I’m all out of things to say. Crap.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re planning on joining the Newspaper Club, too? We’re on a roll!”

“Aha, no, sorry. Actually, I was hoping to ask you a favor.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, see, I don’t really know who or where else to ask about this, but… I’m hoping one of your computers has some sort of translation software or something I can use.”

“Heh, ah… you do know there’s a website for that now, right? You didn’t have to come all this way for that.”

“I was hoping for something a bit more… sophisticated.”

“Oooh, listen to you! You sure you don’t wanna join? We could use someone who uses the big words.”

“I appreciate your offer but must humbly decline your proposition.”

“Gods, I hope you don’t talk like that to your girlfriend. Speaking of which…”

Her expression morphs into a mischievous look, one I’m all too familiar with at this point. Oh no, not another one…

“What are your intentions with my prospect editor, Mr. Nakai?”

I am so not in the mood for this… calm down, Hisao, she’s just being friendly. No need to burn bridges needlessly, just play along. Besides, if Hanako is going to ‘work’ here, I should make the effort to get along with her new friends.

“You have my sincerest assurances that my intentions with Ms. Ikezawa are pure of heart and noble in execution. Now, may I please use your computer?”

And just like that, the Shizune-like interrogation persona shatters and she bursts into laughter.

“Hahahaha! Sure man, knock yourself out. There’s a translation software that should get you sorted out in no time. It’s easy enough to figure out, you don’t even need an English keyboard.”

How convenient, and incidentally, exactly what I need. Naomi gestures with her thumb at one of the computers and I get to work. Alright, let’s see here… English to Japanese, and…

<<M… a…>>

…

Seriously?

The text that appears on screen is causing two clashing reactions in my brain. On the one hand, I want to laugh like a madman. On the other, I feel so embarrassed that I want to just disappear for a few days. ‘マスターオブロマンス’.

I utter the words out loud in a mix of resigned admission and genuine enjoyment. Naomi turns to look at me with a raised eyebrow, then comes closer to read the screen. Once she does, she turns to look at me with a mix of amusement and worry.

“That’s all you needed to translate? Three words?”

“Um… yes?”

“But that’s super easy! I thought it was, I dunno, like a big paper or something! Jeez man, the exams are in a couple of days! There’s an English one in there, you know!”

Thanks for that grim reminder… right now, though, I have something far more important I need to deal with.

“Yeeaaah. Listen, I gotta go. Thanks for the help, Naomi. I’ll see you in class.”

I stand up and head out, Naomi barely having the time to react and say goodbye before I’m out the door. Alright, Hanako Ikezawa…

I make my way back out to the courtyard and then to the girls’ dorm building, where I run into Misha.

“Hicchan? What are you-”

I raise my finger and keep walking towards my destination, with Misha now in tow. Surprisingly, though, she’s being uncharacteristically quiet with her speech.

“Hisao, wait, hold on! Don’t be mad at Hanachan, it was just a joke…”

Once I reach the hallway that houses Hanako’s room, Misha stops following me and just watches from behind the corner. Good, this will make things easier.

Knock Knock Knock

After a few seconds, Hanako answers the door, clad in her nightgown and looking a bit worried. It’s taking me every bit of energy to keep my composure, but this’ll be worth it.

“Hisao? What’s wrong?”

Without a word, I gently cup her cheek and kiss her deeply. I can hear a faint cry of surprise from her, but she quickly reciprocates my affections and eases into things. After a small while, we part.

“W-wow… w-what was that for?”

“Can’t I kiss my girlfriend?”

“Of course you can!” She blurts out, her cheeks flashing crimson at the sudden outburst. Once she calms herself, she continues.

“It was just… so sudden and… unexpected.”

“Eh, it suits me. After all, I am the ‘Master of Romance’, right?”

And there it is, the moment I’ve been waiting for. Hanako doesn’t utter a single sound, but her facial expression speaks volumes. Shock, embarrassment, fear, relief; they all flash through her face within seconds, eventually settling on a look similar to the one I felt when I first read those words on the computer screen. Mission accomplished.

“G’night, Hisao…” she says as she slowly closes the door to her room.

Hanako’s face is as red as tomatoes, but she’s smiling from ear to ear. This all-too-familiar scene playing out again brings a smile to my face, as well. All is right with the world.

Click

“Love you, Hana!”

I can hear the muffled and exaggerated groans coming from inside her room. Good, she heard me… and probably so did the rest of the floor. Ooops. Eh, oh, well.

Satisfied, I turn on my heels and head down the same hall I came. Misha is still here, dumbfounded and, amazingly, lost for words at the scene she just witnessed. Before she can say anything, I look at her and utter just a single word:

“Justice.”

---

¹Pseud-Pseudo Suzu Route by ScissorLips (Psu-Psu Suzu is best Suzu)
² Like fucking Kenji.

► Show Spoiler

Bonus 1: Mini Rin PoV

It’s late. I’m tired. There’s no yellow or blue or orange or red in the sky at this hour. Why is that? Why is black the absence of light but if you mix all paints you get black? If all light makes white then why isn’t the sky-

Oh hey it’s Hisao. And Lilly. And Hanako the library girl. It’s late. How come they aren’t tired? I’m tired. Why is Hisao coming to the girls’ dorms? I like his new green, it’s very Hisao. Hisao green. There’s no guards around. That’s weird. Usually there’s guards and I can see them from my window but I can’t right now because they’re not there.

Oh. Hisao and Hanako are kissing. And they stopped. Lilly and Hanako are coming up the steps but Hisao is going to the boys’ dorms. Bye Hisao. You need sleep. Me too.

Tomorrow I have to talk to the Student Council about Nomiya’s gallery thing. I don’t know if I want to. Maybe I should do it before class so that I can say I did it. Yes. Yes. I should sleep now.

► Show Spoiler

Bonus 2: Hanako’s Non-Canon Thoughts
(Never really intended to have a Hana PoV here, I just thought this was funny.)

“I have it on good authority that you, Satou, and Ikezawa over there arrived pre-pos-ter-ously late this morning! That’s right, a little birdie told us, Hicchan!~ Aaaand!~ What’s even more interesting is what she saw you doing!”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-

“Haha, yes! You hear that, Suzu? You owe me five!”

Oh, thank the gods, something else. Phew, good, maybe their conversation will be enough to steer Misha away from-

“Whaha!~ Well, good for you two, Hicchan! However, I must remind you that such public displays of affection are usually frowned upon. Awww, c’mon, Shicchan! It’s not like anyone saw!”

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK-

► Show Spoiler

Bonus 3: Alternate (Depreciated) Misha Convo
(Yeeeaaah, no. They’re not at the point for this level of friendly jabbery quite yet, even with Hisao as mentally exhausted as he is. Also, does Misha even know what quippy means?)

“I’ll take your word for it, Shiina. Anyway, whatever the case, I’m happy with Hana. Guess that means you’ll get Emi’s kisses all for yourself.”

…

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY?! Misha looks completely stunned at my words, but her open mouth slowly forms into a wide grin. Thank God, she took it well.

“Ohoho-ho!~ When did you get so quippy, Hicchan? You’ve been hanging around Lilly too much, I think! Wahahahaha!_”

---

► Show Spoiler

Author’s notes: Hey Alex, this is your author notes speaking! You know what’s a fan-fuckin’-tastic idea? Knowing how hard it is for you to write for Lilly and deciding to write for RIN TEZUKA! BRILLIANT! Now I can say that I’ve challenged myself and written for the hardest character in all of KS. I’ll get around to treating myself and writing a Kenji scene eventually because I deserve easy writing.

Anyways, this scene was originally called “Back to School” but that’s so dumb and generic that I decided to name it after a condition that does not exist, and you can’t convince me otherwise. Halfway through I realized I’d need to somehow explain how Rin of all people somehow “spread the rumor” that Hisao and Hanako are dating, so I cooked up that mini Rin PoV in like 20 minutes. I’m going to declare that it’s ambiguous enough for it to work and make sense.

So this is Hanasao’s technical first date since they became official. Neither them nor I will count it as a “true” first date though, saving that for later, wink wink. Truly a master of romance moment to have her pay for you, Hisao I juggled ideas like going to the park or the woods behind the school (get your mind out of the gutter), but settled for the Shanghai plus the park so I could fit in more stuff without it getting too bloated. Up next is the “scar” scene, hoo boy. Big one.

Also, I went back and forth between “Hanachan” and “Hacchan” before settling on the former. I think it sounds nice and, like Sharp-O said, “if you exclusively use the first two letters of a name for nicknames, you're gonna overlap eventually.”

“My headcanon is she’d call her bacon irl” - Tomas

[Alex FRD]

Reassurances

PoV: Hisao

We’re about 15 seconds from the final bell. Despite their normally uplifting tune, I can’t bring myself to consider them anything other than the Devil’s ballad. Why? Because as soon as they ring, we’re in for a world of misery and endless sorrow, the exams.

“So ends this trimester’s lessons. From now until the end of your exams is study time. Myself and the other teachers will be available to help you… But, I suppose if you have made it this far and haven’t absorbed the material, there’s very little we can do for you.”

What a lovely and uplifting thought our homeroom teacher has left us with! The bells ring the instant he finishes that sentence and if I weren’t a man of science, I’d swear the sky turned several shades darker to signal our descent into the pit.

Despite my musings, I really am not that worried about the upcoming exams. I’ve made plenty of time in the afternoons for studying… well, cramming, really, but I have managed to at least retain a good portion of the information we’ll be covering in the upcoming days. The downside is I’ve barely been able to spend any time with Hanako or Lilly, but they understand. After all, they’re in the same boat.

Well, with nothing better to do, I guess I’ll head back to my room for some more torture. I turn to wave at Hana, who’s chatting with Naomi and Natsume about something. She returns my gesture, and as an added bonus, subtly kisses the tips of her fingers. I can feel a flutter in my chest, a good one, and smile earnestly at her before ‘kissing’ her back.

---

I set my bag down next to my desk before fishing out my study materials for the day. Just as I’m about to open one of the books, something steals all of my attention; Iwanako’s letter. With a deep sigh, I take hold of the paper and… not read it, but rather, stare at it. Deep down, I knew that Iwanako and mine’s relationship ended that day at the hospital. This letter both broke and reinforced that view, as contradictory as that is. I still haven’t fully decided how to interpret it. Is she expecting me to write her back or is this her subtle way of saying she’d rather never see me again?

“Perhaps it's for the best if we don't?”

I no longer have romantic feelings for Iwanako, but to just leave things as they ended seems… wrong, somehow. She was an acquaintance, if nothing else, at one point. Plus, recent events have taught me that expressing certain emotions can be very… taxing. If this letter was her way of granting me closure, then she at least deserves the same.

Setting the letter down, I grab a blank sheet and a nearby pen.

Dear Iwanako…

I spend the next half hour or so drafting, writing, and re-writing my response. I don’t want to come off as too cold nor too friendly, too aloof nor too approachable. Perfectly neutral, as was her letter. Closure for a relationship that never was. In some other reality, perhaps, but not this one. That last part, I keep to myself; there is no need to express it, nor do I wish it to be a possibility. My reality, my future, already has someone else in it.

… Sincerely, Hisao

I read and re-read the letter before folding it and setting it down at my desk. I’ll have to procure an envelope to send it, but that can wait. I let out a heavy sigh and lean back in my desk chair, then look out the window and see the leaves move in the gentle embrace of summer’s breeze. We’re still plenty of hours away from curfew, leaving me with more than enough time for studying later. Right now, I need to think.

---

PoV: Hanako

Knock Knock Knock

“Come in, Hisao,” I call out from my desk. I’m glad he’s here, I could use his company. Tomorrow is the start of what can best be described as Hell Week; the period of our exams. However, ‘Week’ is disingenuous, considering that it’s actually two weeks. Couple this with my recent joining of the Newspaper Club, I’ve been left with little time to unwind. Knowing this, it’s likely that tonight is the last time Hisao and I will get to do anything together before we have to focus all our time and energy on the exams. Even if it’s just for a little while, having Hisao here with me is a more-than-welcome distraction. A very good-looking distraction…

“How’d you know it was me?” The look on his face is priceless; it’s a mix of shock and amusement, as if I’d never be able to guess it was him at my door. Time to take a page out of Lilly’s book…

“I have my ways,” I say, trying my best at an impression of Lilly’s poised way of speech. Oh, this is so dumb…

“Oh no, not you, too…” Hisao makes an exaggerated gesture as he speaks, and I can’t help but giggle at his faux melodrama. He then turns towards my shelf with an accusatory look and points directly at… my toys? That reminds me, I still need to come up with a name for that Victorian doll.

“I blame you for this! You have infected my fair lady with the snares of feminine intuition!” He proclaims that in the most exaggerated way possible, complete with the most ridiculous pose I’ve ever seen. I have to bring my hand up to my mouth to stifle my laughter. “Return her to her former state at once, foul agent of Lillian!”

“Hahahahaha!” I can’t resist any longer and lose all my composure, the laugh that escapes me is one of the sincerest (and loudest!) bouts I’ve had in a long, long time. How does he do this to me? What else could he do to me?

“Heh, it’s good to hear you laugh, Hana. Honestly, seeing you happy helps.” My boyfriend’s mood dips considerably at this, and I can’t help but feel a bit worried. This is more than just test stress; something’s going on. I get up from my desk and close the distance between us. Whatever it is, I’m here for you, Hisao.

“Is everything OK?”

“I guess. I’ve just been thinking about some stuff. Exams, break, university, and…” He takes a moment before continuing, I can detect a bit of apprehension from him.

“You remember that letter I got some time ago?”

I search my memory, and sure enough, I recall that after my birthday party, Misha and Shizune had given him a letter from…

“Iwanako’s?”

“Huh? How did you…?” Did he forget? To be fair, we were both still a bit… hungover.

“You… mentioned her name when they handed it to you.”

“Oh, yeah, right,” he says, clearly trying to keep his composure. It only now dawns on me that this must be the same Iwanako Hisao was talking about in Hokkaido. That means…

“She… wrote to you? Oh…” It takes an indescribable amount of restraint to stop myself from asking what she wrote to him about. Hisao is my boyfriend; I trust he’d never do anything to hurt me, but I can’t help but wonder what his sort-of ex-girlfriend would want after all this time.

“Yeah, she… hey, are you alright?” His tone shifts to one of concern as he glances toward me. Only now do I realize that my hands are fidgeting… hard. I quickly separate them, ball them into fists, and place them on my sides, an old trick I learned to help control stress. It doesn’t reassure Hisao, though.

“I’m… I…”

“Hana… whatever there was between Iwanako and me ended a long time ago.” He puts a hand on my shoulder and looks deep into my eyes before continuing. “Even if she wanted to reconnect, which she doesn’t, I don’t want to. You’re the one I want to be with, her letter doesn’t change that. I love you, Hanako Ikezawa.”

Oh, Hisao… Oh, Hisao… My previously rigid hands relax as the stress drains out of my body, replaced with an overwhelming sense of security and trust that I’ve never felt for anyone before. I love him so much…

“I… I know, Hisao. I trust you. I know you’d never… you know. I… I love you, too.”

He seems a bit relieved at my words, but I can read from his facial expression that he’s not entirely convinced. On top of this, it appears he’s in deep contemplation; as if he’s having an argument with himself and one side has yet to claim victory. What could he be thinking?

“Hana… I want to show you something. Let me just make sure the door’s locked, though.”

“Eeh?!” Hisao doesn’t respond to… whatever that was. He just heads to my door and makes sure that it’s closed entirely and then turns the lock. It’s locked. I’m locked in my room. With my boyfriend.

Oh-gods-oh-gods-oh-gods-oh-gods-oh-gods-oh-gods-oh-gods-oh-gods

This isn’t where I thought this was going is this really happening I knew this would happen eventually and it’s not like I didn’t want it to I mean I was thinking about it but this is so sudden but that’s OK he’s my boyfriend but I’m not sure if I’m ready and we only started dating a little while ago and he says he wants to show me something and his hand is moving to his collar is he really about to-

“I’m not going to strip naked or anything weird, I'm just going to take off my shirt.”

OH-GODS-OH-GODS-OH-GODS-OH-GODS-OH-GODS-OH-GODS-OH-GODS-OH-GODS

Just focus on his hands just focus on his chest just focus… on… his… … oh… oh.

Hisao finishes undoing his shirt and tie; all of those thoughts in my head are pushed to the side as my eyes land on the large scar on his chest. I look up at Hisao’s eyes and he nods; he’s given me permission, but dare I continue? If I do this, would he expect me to do the same? Could I do the same? His past and mine were one thing, but this is a much, much larger step, and I think he knows it. Hisao has taken the lead again, just like before. For me to catch up and be on equal ground with him…

hisao_scar_large.png (2.41 MiB) Viewed 67 times

“This is…” I say as my fingers make contact with his skin. I can immediately feel it in my palm; the texture of his scar isn’t quite the same as mine, but it contrasts heavily with his undamaged skin much in the same way mine does.

“The scar from the surgery that followed my heart attack. The surgeons had to cut open my chest to operate on my heart."

I very carefully trace along his scar with my fingertips and palm. I can’t deny that there’s a strange feeling of comfort in being able to touch him, one I hope that he feels when he touches me. This, however, goes far beyond comfort and into the territory of something else, something much greater. I’m one step away from the precipice.

“I never knew…” Of course, I knew he had surgery and underwent an agonizing period of recovery. What I mean is that, until this moment, I could never imagine how horrid his heart attack really must have been. The fear, the pain, the unbearable reminder that you are forever changed and can never go back; this scar that he’ll be forced to see every day for the rest of his life will always bring him back to that moment. I know exactly what that’s like; I wouldn’t wish that hell on my worst enemy. The fact that the man I love has to go through it is heartbreaking.

“You’re the first person to see this since I left the hospital.”

I can’t begin to describe how comforting that is to know; that of all the people in his life, Hisao chose me to be vulnerable with, to share in his pain, to seek my comfort and offer his in return. I understand, Hisao, I know what you’re trying to tell me.

He puts his hand to my cheek, my ruined cheek, and gently strokes my skin with his thumb. I can feel a small tear leave my eye, which he carefully wipes away. Was I crying? It’s still such an alien concept to me; how someone could not only look past my scars but also feel comfortable enough to touch them. I never thought the touch of another person could feel so good, especially when it’s someone I love. I want him to touch me more… but not now. I’m not ready for that, not yet.

“Thank you, Hisao. I understand.” Slowly, and a bit reluctantly, I pull my hand away from his chest and he begins to redo the buttons on his shirt. When he finishes, he looks me in the eyes and offers me a smile. Sincere and earnest, but slightly tired. That’s all he can do, but that’s OK. We’ve done more than words could ever say. He turns his gaze towards my desk and notices my collection of notes, a tired sigh leaving him.

“Well, I better let you get back to it. I should get some last-minute cramming in, too.”

I giggle a bit, the expression of faux misery on his face is priceless.

“OK, but don’t stay up too late.”

“Hehe, yes, dear.” He leans in and kisses me tenderly, which I reciprocate in kind. ‘Dear’, eh? I think I could get used to that.

As he walks out of my room and places his hand on the door, he stops and turns back to me.

“Hey, Hana?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. Very much.”

The smile he gives me is enough to melt my heart. With a wave, he closes the door to my room, leaving me alone with my thoughts and… something else. I’m not ready to take that step with him just yet, but in the meantime…

Studying can wait, I’ve… got to go do something.¹

---

¹I got this idea from Hanako's Story by Trivun.

► Show Spoiler

*** Bonus: Alternate Ending ***
(This was gonna be the original ending of the scene, but I wasn’t feeling it. Then I thought about adding it somewhere else but couldn’t find a good spot. Into the bonuses it goes!)

“Actually… would you like to study together?” For once, the pragmatic and emotional sides of me are in sync. Yes, I do want to spend more time with Hisao, but at the same time, I could really use his help with science. Hisao’s guided me through a fair share of complicated problems before; I swear, I can almost see him giving the class in Mutou’s place with how naturally it comes to him.

He turns his gaze back to me, a small bit of shock on his face.

“Oh! Well… yeah, that sounds good! I do need to get my notes, though. I’ll be right back, OK?” He gives me a quick kiss on the forehead before leaving my room.”

---

► Show Spoiler

Author’s notes: Ahh yes, sexual tension! A clear sign that we are approaching the obligatory katawa sex scene! Kudos to Hana and Hisao for exercising some level of restraint (why am I speaking as if they’re real people, I fucking wrote the script…). Anyways, this relatively short scene ended up complete before the previous one (Back to School) was even out of the ideas phase. Right now, Back to School, which should release before this one for chronological purposes, sits at a whopping 5 lines. In other words, I’m writing backwards. Actually, there’s another 8 scenes in the same state, so there’s still plenty more to go. Oct. 28: This is no longer the reality, obviously.

As for this scene in particular, we’ve reached that famous scene everyone loves. For those who don’t know, what got me to finally read KS was a YouTube video where the background was the CG from His Past and the music playing was Painful History. So yeah, this scene is pretty special to me. Though I did some changes in order to bring this scene into the fold of Consolidation, I aimed to keep it mostly intact. The idea of Hisao also feeling Hana’s face scars was purely accidental; I had some extra lines I’d written lying around and realized how perfectly they fit, especially considering that in this version of the story, they’re already dating and are way more comfortable with each other.

Welp, the next scene to do is my version of Whispered Touch; a leadup/date scene and a proper h-scene. God help me, this will probably be the hardest thing I’ve ever written.