We just got Chiyo into my room and got her into my bed. She's still crying.
Akane and I cry all the time. But I've only seen Chiyo cry like this on stage.
Akane and I go to the other corner of the room. Akane whispers “What should we do?”
“I…don't know. Comfort her as best we can.”
Akane frowns and her eyes get wide. Then she touches her right ear, “Shit. I thought things sounded weird. My processor is gone on this side.”
“O-oh. I saw it come off when she hit you. It's outside. Your fair prizes are still out there too. I forgot about it all with everything going on.”
We open the door and Akane immediately sees the little black piece of plastic. She picks it up and clicks her tongue while I pick up her prizes.
When I turn around she's holding two pieces of plastic in her hand. The part that hooks around her right ear is broken off.
She hooks it back up to the piece on the right side of her scalp. But when she goes to put it back on her ear, it won't stay.
She sighs and takes off the part on her scalp too, and puts them in her pocket.
She whispers, “Don't tell her. I can get another transmitter from the nurse in the morning. It's not a big deal.”
I nod and then Chiyo, who seems to have had a lull in her crying says, “A-Akane?”
Her voice sounds raspy and her nose is stuffed.
Akane doesn't move or react. It confuses me at first, but then I realize she must not have heard her. Especially since Chiyo's voice is quieter than usual. And the ear closest to Chiyo is the one that is missing the usual equipment.
I say, “She called you.”
Akane nods and goes over to the bed and kneels next to it.
Chiyo locks eyes with her and tearfully says, “I'm…I'm so sorry. I shouldn’t have hit you. Again. I'm horrible. You're my friend. I…I don’t think you're a bitch… I’m the bitch” Chiyo trails off and starts crying hard again.
Akane laughs softly and takes her hand, “It's okay, Chiyo.” She hands her the tissue box from my desk.
Chiyo uses the tissues to wipe her tears, “No, it isn’t!”
Akane shrugs, “I do crazy stuff when I get really upset too. It’s fine.”
Chiyo sighs, “Ever hit someone?”
Akane smirks, “No. Do you do it a lot?”
Chiyo shakes her head, “I’ve only ever hit you.”
“Aw, it’s our special thing.”
Chiyo laughs wryly, “I…guess it is.” She frowns, “I guess…I just wanted to blame someone. I thought I'd feel better. But it just…made me feel worse.”
“Well…don’t feel too much worse. I probably still deserved it for last time.”
“But I hit you really hard. Your cheek is still red. My hand even kinda hurts. So your face must.” She holds it up and stretches it, “Are you really okay?”
“Yep! I'm tough. I’m just glad you hit me instead of Nagisa. That's why I stepped in front. You'd feel way worse if you hit our little angel.”
Chiyo laughs, “That's true.”
I kneel next to the bed too, “Do you…want to talk about what happened?”
She sighs and rolls on her back and looks at the ceiling, “A little bit. I don't have it in me to talk about more than the broad strokes.”
“Th-that's okay.”
She sighs, “He stopped me when I was confessing.” She sniffles, “A-and said…that he couldn't be around me anymore if I felt that way.”
Akane looks to me expectantly. I don't know whether it's because she didn't hear all of that or she just thinks I should be the one to respond.
“I'm sorry that happened. A-and…sorry we were wrong. We didn't want you to hurt like this. Or lose him as a friend.”
Chiyo takes a deep breath and exhales, “It's fine. It…needed to happen. I couldn't keep going on the way I was. I just…I can't believe he doesn't even want to be friends anymore.”
“Yeah…me neither.”
Chiyo sighs and sits up, “I'll go to my room now. I'm exhausted from the play and…this.” She smiles at each of us, “Thanks for helping. I'm probably gonna be a complete mess for a little bit.” She shamefully looks at Akane, “But…I won't hit anyone again.”
I nod, “Feel free to come by or call if you need.”
She nods thankfully and stands up.
Akane smiles and says, “Hold on.” And scoops her prizes up off of my desk and drops them on the bed, “Do you want a little pick me up? Nagisa and I are rolling in fair prizes.”
Chiyo laughs, “Where did you two get all this?”
I feel my cheeks flush, “My dad. H-he's good at fair games.”
Chiyo chuckles and picks up the plush cat, which is certainly the item in the pile that is the most useful in times like these.
After that she hugs each of us and leaves the room. I look at Akane, who looks confused.
“Did you…hear all of that?”
Akane says, “Mostly. Reading lips and my good implant filled most of it in. I think I missed a few things, though. Because that made no sense to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Did she say that he said he couldn't be around her if she loves him?”
“She did.”
She crosses her arms and thinks, “Why would he say that? Like…why would it be hard for him?”
“I don't know. Maybe because he thinks it would be harder for her?”
She taps her finger on her chin, “Yeah…maybe. She said that he interrupted her too before she finished confessing, right?”
I nod.
“Then that means…he already knew. So why would her confessing make a difference?”
I bow my head and quietly say, “I…don't know.”
She lets out a frustrated sigh, “I didn't hear that. I kind of need to see your lips right now to be sure of stuff. Having only one implant doing its job is like having a really bad radio signal. I can tell you made a sound, but not really what if was.”
I look up at her, “Oh, sorry. I really need to learn sign language. I had gotten so used to your implants but…this must happen sometimes.”
“Yeah, every now and then there's an issue. They are pretty reliable but they don't do their job 100 percent of the time, that's for sure.” She winks at me, “I'm ready to start lessons any time.”
I smile, “I'd like that. But um…all I said earlier was that I didn't know.”
Akane nods and then scrunches up her face while she thinks, “I admittedly don't know much about boys, but I'm so sure he likes her. You think so too, right?”
“Yeah but…I don’t know much about boys either. So maybe we were both just wrong.” I sigh, “I…wish we could talk to him.”
“Well…maybe we can? Does he have a phone?”
I shake my head, “And it’s way past curfew now.”
“Okay. Do you think you could get him to explain?”
“I…think so. I'm not as close to him as Chiyo or Daiki are. But I think he'll talk to me.”
Akane smiles, “Okay then, I have an idea. I can get you past security.”
“Y-you can?”
She winks, “Yep. I've used this trick a few times.”
…
“What do you two think you’re doing? It's well past curfew. Go back to your dorm.”
Akane and I are outside the boys’ dorm. A large and imposing security guard saw us and is shining a flashlight in our faces.
Akane goes into class rep mode, “We know that, sir. But I’m the Class Rep for 3-1, and this is the class secretary.” She gestures to me, “We needed to bring these worksheets to a student who has been out sick.” She brandishes a manila folder.
“And why couldn't you do that before curfew?”
Akane looks at me.
She told me I might have to answer since her hearing is bad right now and she can't see lips in the dark. I don't like lying to this man, but Akane said to treat it like I was acting. And I need to do this.
I bow my head, “We should have sir, w-we made a mistake. We lost track of time with the festival. But this student really needs this assignment or he’ll fall behind a-and…we’ll get into trouble.” I start to sniffle.
It's really not that hard to cry right now. I just have to think about Chiyo.
He sighs and clicks off his flashlight before crossing his arms, “Fine. But only one of you can go. And you're giving me the room number. And if you aren't back here in 10 minutes, I’ll come drag you out of there. I don’t care how much you cry.”
I nod to Akane, who hands me the manila envelope and practically shoves me towards the door.
…
I’m standing in front of a door in the boys’ dorm. I’m 90 percent sure it's Ken’s. I have only been here once before, though.
I don't have much time. 90 percent has to be good enough.
I knock on the door and am very relieved when I hear Ken’s voice, although it sounds gruffer than usual, “Uh…who is it?”
“I-it's Nagisa.”
He sighs loudly, “Come in.”
I open the door and find him sitting at his desk. It looks like he’s reading.
He turns around in his chair and in an exasperated tone says, “How did you even get in the dorm at this hour?”
As I close the door behind me I respond, “U-um…acting, actually.”
He laughs wryly, “Okay, then.” After a moment he says, “Well…I'm guessing you’ve gone to such lengths because Chiyo sent you?”
He doesn't sound like himself. His demeanor right now reminds me of when I forgot to move the futon during rehearsal.
His hostile attitude has me unwilling to go any further in the room, so I stand with my back almost to the door.
I shake my head, “Chiyo doesn't know. But…she is why I’m here.”
His voice gets even harsher, “Alright, get on with it then. I'd like to get this over with. I'm pretty tired.”
He's right. I don't have much time anyway.
“D-do you really not like her?”
“I rejected her, didn't I? Seems like a pretty clear sign.”
“B-but…y-you…”
He hisses at me, “Spit it out, Nagisa.”
I almost take a step back just from how angry he sounds. But I hold my ground, “I-it…seemed like you liked her…you were always with her. And she always makes you smile. A-ad you were always blushing. And always made sure she was touching you. Even when you didn't need her help.”
He takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose, “None of that matters. We can't be together.”
Does he know about her health somehow?
“So…you do like her? You didn't deny that.”
He shrugs, “It doesn't matter how I feel. But it's my call to reject her. You don’t get a say in it just because you know the two of us.”
I narrow my eyes at him and take a step closer to him, “You do like her. I even think…you love her.”
He sarcastically claps his hands and says, “Good for you.”
I take another small step and start to feel more confident, “E-every time you don't deny it, I’m more sure of it. I just don’t understand why you turned her down.”
He scoffs, “And guess what? You don’t have to.”
I sigh, “It's true. I don't. B-but Chiyo deserves to know whatever the truth is, especially since you won't even be her friend.”
Maybe it's playing dirty, but I’m running out of time. And it's the truth.
“She’s heartbroken, you know. She cried in my bed for about an hour.”
I see the first crack in his hostile expression, as his knitted eyebrows start to waver. I take another small step forward.
“You’re her best friend. And I think…the most important person in the world to her. I think she can take the rejection of her feelings…but taking away your friendship, too…”
His voice starts to waver too, “I-it's what's best for both of us.”
I take another step closer to him. I can reach out and touch him now, “Now I know for sure you love her. You’d only say that if you did. Do you really want to hurt the woman you love so badly?”
He clicks his tongue, “I didn't know you could be this ruthless. Or relentless.” He sighs, “I certainly never thought you’d break me during an interrogation.”
“So you’ll explain?”
“Yeah, but partly because once you and she know the truth, you’ll hate me anyway. So the result will be the same. Only…she won't be hurting as much since she'll hate me.”
“Wh-why would she hate you?”
“Because I'm jealous of her. That's why we can't be together.”
I blink several times, not even sure what he means in this situation, “J-jealous?”
He nods, “She's an amazing actress. Has a future as a professional. I…don't. Mr. Fujita came to see her, not me.”
I’m stunned so it takes me a moment to respond, “He…did? But I thought-”
His gruff tone returns, “Well…you thought wrong, didn't you? Mr. Fujita has hinted that my sight will make it hard for me to be an actor. And he's probably right. You know first hand what a mess it is to work with a blind actor.”
“I-it isn’t a mess! You're a good actor.”
He scoffs, “Whatever. Mr. Fujita praised you ten times as much as he praised me. I'm going to be in the troupe, but I think he only wants me because of Chiyo. And I can't live with that.”
I stand in silence for a moment, unsure what I can possibly say.
“I…I think you’re a good actor. And I think you got in on your own. B-but even if we imagine you’re right about all of this…you’re saying you can't be with a girl if she’s more successful than you?!”
He crosses his arms and nods, “If she has the career I wish I had…I don’t think it would work. I would resent her forever. I already do resent her. As you…can probably tell.”
“...oh.”
He sighs, “Yeah. I'm a real asshole, aren't I? I bet you'll both hate me now. Now get out of my room.”
He turns around in his chair so I can only see his back.
“I don't hate you.”
He sighs, “Just…leave, Nagisa.”
“I will soon, but I'm not done.”
He groans and turns back around, “Fine. Say your piece.”
“You can't know how your career will go right now. Or hers. Or how you’ll react if she is more successful. Y-you're assuming the worst.”
He laughs wryly, “You sound like her.”
“Well she's right, you are a pessimist.” I pause for a moment as an idea springs to life in my mind.
“You should come to breakfast tomorrow with me, my parents and Akane.”
His eyebrows shoot up, “Um…huh? That seems random. And they'll definitely think we're dating.”
I laugh, “I'll tell them we aren't. But I really think you should talk to my dad about all this.”
His look of bewilderment intensifies, “Your…dad?”
“Yep! You heard him say he used to be an actor right?”
Ken nods.
“He loved it. And was very good. But um…h-he gave it up because of me and my health.”
Ken’s bewildered face goes away, “Gotcha. So he knows about love and ambition.”
“Yes, I…I think so.”
Ken sighs and then nods.
“Okay. Fine. I’ll go.”
…
“Well…he showed. That's good. Not sure we could get in the boys’ dorm again.”
Akane and I are walking towards Yamaku's front gate, where we’ve just seen that Ken is waiting for us.
I turn my head towards Akane as I reply, “Yes, I was pretty sure he would.”
She still doesn't have all of her equipment on her right side. She’ll get it after breakfast when the nurse’s office is open. So I’m on her left side and making sure to speak loudly and in a way where she can see my lips.
As we get closer Akane says, “Are you sure this is a good idea? Your dad’s nice but…I don't think I would use the word 'wise' to describe that man. He’s not the kind of guy who you go to for advice, you know what I mean?”
I laugh, “I’m sure. Both my parents are pretty good at this.”
Akane doesn't look like she buys it.
When we get to the gate we greet Ken, and then I say, “Do you want to hold on to my arm for the walk?”
As expected, he shakes his head and gets his cane out, “I know this walk pretty well. I’ll walk in front so I know where you are.”
We’re quiet for the first several minutes of the walk. I expected that, between Akane’s hearing and Ken’s mood. I’m surprised when Ken is the first to say something.
“Akane - I’m glad you and Chiyo are friends again.”
I look at Akane who looks towards Ken and then at me. She shakes her head.
She can't see his lips and he’s a ways in front of us.
So I reply, “Did you say you’re happy Akane and Chiyo are friends again?”
Ken is understandably confused, “Um…yes?”
Akane smiles and hurries ahead, “I’m gonna get on your right side. I’m not hearing very well right now. So I need to be closer if we talk.”
Ken replies, “Oh. Okay.”
Akane gets next to him and says, “Is here good?”
Ken nods and says, “Anyway…she’s never told me what happened between you. Said it was…girl stuff. I thought maybe you two fought over a boy or something.”
Akane laughs, “Nope. It definitely wasn't that.”
Ken replies, “Okay then. Well…either way, she was really happy when you two mended fences. So, I’m glad you did.”
“Yeah, me too. We have Nagisa to thank.”
Ken laughs wryly, “It seems we all have something to thank her for at this point.”
…
The three of us just walked into the Shanghai to find my parents waiting at a table. Akane runs ahead and hugs my mom, and then I do too. Akane explains her hearing issue and takes a seat next to my mom that is to the right of everyone else, so she should be able to hear us.
Ken stands around awkwardly while this is going on. I return to him and say, “Mom, dad…this is Ken, who I told you about.”
My parents greet him, and then I pull out a chair for Ken so he can sit down across from my father. I take a seat next to him.
We all order some coffee and pastries and chat about little things while we enjoy them.
But once we’re settled, my dad crosses his arms while glaring at Ken, “Come to ask permission to take my daughter away from me, boy?”
Ken gets a look of panic on his face and turns to me, ‘I told you this was a bad idea.”
My mom sighs and lightly slaps my dad on the arm and then cheerfully says, “Don't listen to him, Ken. He's just being silly. He often is.”
This makes Akane and I crack up while Ken still looks unsure.
I reassure him with my hand on his shoulder, “He knows you want to talk about Chiyo. He’s just joking.”
As I’m saying this my dad studies Ken and when I finish he says, “Listen to me, boy.”
“U-um…I am, sir.”
My mom sighs and shakes her head at my father, “Why don't you tell us what the issue is. We've heard from Nagisa, but I'm curious to hear from you.”
Ken nods, “W-well…I'm in love with Chiyo, my co-star from the play. But I also really resent her because she's a better actor. She…confessed to me yesterday, but I rejected her and told her we can't be friends either.”
My mom frowns and replies, “Oh my. Why do you think you can't even be friends?”
That's a good question. I didn't have time for it last night.
Ken sighs and fiddles with his napkin, “Because we'll end up together if we keep spending time together. Now that I know for sure she has feelings for me…I won't be able to ignore mine.”
My dad scoffs, “So, don't.”
Ken shakes his head, “We'll both just get hurt worse because of my resentment.”
My dad says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, “So, stop resenting her.”
Ken looks beyond confused, “How?”
My mom chimes in, “Well, you resent her because you think she's a better actor than you. Not because she thinks she's better. It's all up to you to solve this problem.”
“But she is better than me.”
My dad scoffs, “You're right, she is.”
“D-dad!”
He waves a hand at me without looking away from Ken, “But who cares if she's better?”
“Well…I do.”
My dad scoffs, “Take it from a man who works every day with his beautiful wife – it's a wonderful thing to work together with the woman you love.”
My mom beams at my dad as he continues.
“We have different strengths. Sanae is better with the accounting and the customers, but I'm better at making the bread. I wouldn’t say either of us is better at running a bakery than the other, would you?”
I'm glad Ken's blind right now. Because my mom’s lip quivering at the mention of my dad's better baking skills would have made his message a little less meaningful.
Ken thinks for a moment while stirring his spoon in his coffee, “No. I wouldn’t. I…am better at voices and dialects than she is. And character analysis. I always help her with that.”
My father smiles, “You see? And I'm sure with time you'll find other strengths. And you two can support each other every step of the way. Making each other better. You can run your bakery together, too.”
My mom nods, “As equals. You must see yourself as her equal, or you're right, it won't work out. And communicate about how you feel, too.”
Ken massages his temples for a moment. And then exhales before saying, “Okay. Y-you’re…right. I just need to look at things more positively.” He chuckles, “Which is what she's always telling me.”
My mom smiles and excitedly asks, “So you’re going to return her feelings?”
He nods, “If…she's willing to have me after all this.”
I smile ear to ear while my mom claps her hands together joyfully, “Wonderful!”
My dad nods, “Good luck, boy.”
Akane who has been watching intently all along is staring at my dad with her mouth hanging open, “My hearing must really be off this morning. Because Mr. Furukawa sounded like he knew what he was talking about. That can't be right, can it?”
…
Akane and I are sitting in the lobby of the performing arts center. Ken and Chiyo are currently talking in our club room.
After talking to my parents, Ken asked Akane and I set up the meeting between them. Ken said he was going to tell her everything. I am fairly confident she will forgive him. But I can't be sure. He did really hurt her.
Akane and I have been anxiously waiting on a bench in the lobby for the last 30 minutes.
I'm so tired. I haven't slept enough several days in a row. The run up to the play and everything with Ken and Chiyo made it hard.
As I close my eyes and lean against the wall, I hear Akane exhale and say, “Oh, thank God.”
I open my eyes and see Chiyo and Ken walking arm in arm. I don't know for sure if that means he decided to return her feelings, but it at least means they are still friends.
When they reach us, the two of them stop. From the redness on Ken's cheeks and the size of Chiyo's smile I feel even more hopeful.
She says, “We talked about everything and apologized…a-and returned my feelings.”
Ken nods, “Thank you. Both of you. I was…really in my head and I don’t think I was going to come out if it weren't for you two. And Nagisa’s parents.”
Chiyo laughs, “It took a village to get me to confess to you too. We were both overthinking things pretty hard.”
Akane laughs, “That's how we know it's true love. Two stubborn, pessimistic people. Good luck, you two.”
We all laugh, but when my laughter ends I see Chiyo looking at me. She gets choked up as she looks at me, “H-he said you snuck into the dorm last night to talk to him?”
I nod, “Yeah. I’m not an angel after all.”
Chiyo laughs and hugs me, “Yes you are.” Then she extends her arms wider and invites Akane to join us in a group hug, “Both of you.”
Akane whispers, “When you say you talked about ‘everything’-”
Chiyo breaks the hug, smiles and loops her arm with Ken again, “I mean everything. He was hiding something from me…so, I told him what I was hiding, too.”
This takes away what little anxiety I was feeling about them. Now I feel absolutely elated.
I take a step towards Ken but then realize I should warn him, “Ken…can I hug you?”
He sighs, but with a smile on his face, “If you have to.”
I walk up to him and hug him gently and say, “Sorry, but I do have to.”
I think I'm finally going to get a good night's sleep.