Consolidation - A Hanako AU

Alex FRD · Post by **Alex FRD** » Fri Aug 30, 2024 8:46 pm

Author's Introduction
Salve everyone, It's Alex. Some of you might already know me as that guy who pops up everywhere, but I suppose I should leave a proper introduction. Like many of you, reading Katawa Shoujo was an extremely enjoyable experience for me in my younger years. I was immediately captivated by the unforgettable characters, the wonderful story, and the heartbreaking tragedies. I remember that as soon as I finished reading Katawa Shoujo, I turned to the Renai and Fanfiction.net in search of more Katawa content to enjoy. It's here that I discovered incredible stories like Sisterhood, Psu-Psu Suzu, Learning to Fly, and many others. That was back in 2016. 3 years later, I joined the KS Discord server and got to talk to many of you directly, creating fun memories, memes, and sharing in the trauma that was Haniko RP (NOW!! ).

Backstory of the Story
After 8 years of being a passive reader of KS fanfictions, I decided to dive headfirst into writing and created my own little AU story centered around Hanako, my first route and "best girl". The idea came to me one night right as I was about to go to bed and the next morning I cracked open Word and wrote for 5 straight days, only stopping to sleep and eat. What began as just one small scene that I never planned on sharing eventually became a 10K-word, 20 page document with multiple scenes and character perspectives. And now, after a month of fine-tuning it with the help of a few friends and proofreaders, I feel it's ready for publishing.

General info
Why write this?
Other than my being a Hanabro through and through, I always felt that her character deserved better than she got in her route. No disrespect to Cpl_Crud or anyone who worked on her route, and I'm not delusional enough to think I could do better, this is just my crack at an alternate scenario.

What's the meaning of the title?
My version of Hanako in this story is not quite the one we know. I won't give too many details for a number of reasons, but I think you'll understand once you've read enough of it.

Will there be more?
I'm currently writing more chapters than the three I'll be posting here, but if your question is "Are you going to do an entire Hanako AU Route?", the answer is "most likely not".

Well, without further ado, let's get this show on the road.

Consolidation

Table of Contents

Mutual Presents
Painful Histories
You're So Wonderful

Alex FRD · Post by **Alex FRD** » Fri Aug 30, 2024 9:04 pm

Mutual Presents

PoV: Hisao

I begin making my way over to the girls’ dorms, Hanako’s gift in hand. I figured that now’s as good a time as any to give it to her; I can tell that Lilly’s absence has been weighing her down even more than it has me. Lilly and Hanako share a special bond; if they didn’t look so strikingly different, one could easily think Hanako was Lilly’s sister alongside Akira.

While gift hunting in the city with Lilly, a few items caught my attention in the quaint little antique store known as Othello’s Antiques. Although Lilly and I had already found our respective gifts for Hanako, another item in the store caught my attention. It was a beautiful chess set with natural, undyed coral pieces. I feel a bit guilty recalling all the cloak and dagger necessary to obtain this extra gift, but thankfully, Akira and Hideaki were kind enough to be discreet. The only thing that depresses me more is the sizable hole in my funds that it left. Guess I’ll be sustaining myself with water, Lilly’s tea, and Yamaku’s sublime cafeteria food for the next month… or two.

I decided against presenting the chess set to Hanako at her birthday party. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I would somehow be downplaying Lilly’s contribution to the event. I came to find out later that Lilly’s gift was worth nearly twice the amount of both of mine combined. I still can’t decide whether to be flabbergasted at Lilly’s apparent wealth, or somehow dejected at the idea that my gifts are somehow worth less.

That’s just ridiculous. What matters is the thought and intent, not the price. It sounds like something Lilly would say, I think. Or at least, that’s how I’m currently rationalizing it to make myself feel better. Anyway, enough moping. Back to the task at hand.

Making my way down the hall to her room, I arrive at my destination. And now…

…

This is the part where I knock on her door. Any second now, I’ll knock on her door. Knocking; it’s a simple concept, Nakai. Why can’t I knock on this damn door?!

Standing in front of Hanako’s door, the full realization of what I’m doing hits me like a truck at full speed. I’m about to give Hanako a gift, seemingly for no reason. Her birthday party was different; she’s my friend and gifts are to be expected, but this? Guys don’t give presents to girls out of the blue unless…

Suddenly, all of the resolve I had has drained out of me and I’m left standing here, wrapped gift in hand, completely frozen. Why am I doing this? I chose to hold off giving this to her during her birthday party, my excuse being not wanting to upstage Lilly, but how true is that? I know Lilly well enough that she wouldn’t be upset over something so trivial. It just dawned on me that I was using her as an excuse to hide my true intentions…

After collecting my thoughts, it becomes clear to me why I’m really here, as if the maelstrom in my head just vanished and everything made perfect sense. Why did I get Hanako another gift? Because I wanted to make her happy. Why did I wait until now? Because I wanted this moment to be just between us. And why is that? Because I like seeing her happy. I like making her happy. I like her.

…

I move my free hand to my chest, expecting my heart to be two beats from exploding, but I feel nothing. Barring its uncommon pace, it’s functioning entirely as it should be. Looks like my heart is saying yes, but what about the rest of me? Maybe I should start with my hand, just need to move it from my chest to the door…

PoV: Hanako

I can’t seem to focus. Lilly’s sudden departure to Scotland has occupied more of my thoughts than I’m comfortable admitting. Ever since I’ve met her, there has scarcely been a time where we aren’t together. She was always kind to me, never once has she judged my mannerisms or my distaste for social activities.

Naturally, of course, she’s also never judged my appearance. The nagging part of my brain that kept insisting that was only because she physically couldn’t do so was silenced when I met her sister, Akira. For the briefest of moments, I truly felt like an equal among friends for the first time in a decade… but all good things come to an end, they say.

Over time, Lilly’s attitude toward me changed. What was once friendship morphed into something akin to a caretaker-dependent relationship. Her attempts to make me come out of the fortress I had built around myself for all these years became bolder and more frequent. To her, I’m sure it feels like she’s trying to help, yet to me, it feels like my sanctuary is being invaded. With a smile. Always with that damned smile.

I wish I had the courage to tell Lilly how I really feel about it. How infuriating her coddling is, how it makes me feel so worthless. She treats me like a pathetic, broken person in need of constant protection. I hate it, I hate how belittling it is, how powerless it makes me feel. More than anything, I hate myself for my cowardice that prevents me from telling her any of this.

Just as quick as I feel my venom rising, it leaves me. Despite all this, I could never bring myself to hate Lilly. She’s been, until recently, my one and only friend ever since… that night. She cares about me, and I know she’d do anything to help me. That, at least, I know for a fact comes from genuine friendship. I just wish I had a way to show her that I have the strength to do the same, for myself and for her.

I rise from my bed and glance around my room. If Lilly could see, she’d probably describe it as “spartan”. There’s nothing but the simplest of necessities here; no posters of boy bands or pictures of friends and family, just my bed, desk, and a few shelves containing various inconsequential items. However, one shelf in particular catches my attention, with increasing frequency lately.

On it sit three items: a little wooden doll in a blue Victorian-era dress, a light brown teddy bear, and a tattered stuffed rabbit... I close my eyes and take a deep breath to fight off the rising sorrow within me and focus on the former two. Hisao and Lilly, whose idea I’m sure it was, decided to host a small early birthday party for me. Knowing Lilly, I knew she would do something along those lines, but what I never expected were these gifts.

At the time, I tried searching my memory for the last time I received gifts from anyone. Unfortunately, it turned out the answer was sitting on my shelf in the room next door, my Petra¹. How I managed to avoid a breakdown right then and there is a mystery. For a moment, it reminded me of just how… empty my life has been for the past ten years; that the last time I received anything other than pity from anyone was a child's toy from my parents. Enough. Focus on the present, Ikezawa.

Heh. Smooth, Hanako, real smooth.

Despite the bittersweetness of it all, I can’t help but smile at the gesture. Lilly’s bear is about the same size as Petra and addictingly soft, I feel no shame in admitting that despite my age, I cuddled with that bear like a baby. Meanwhile, Hisao’s doll is very beautiful and intricately designed. If it had blonde hair, I’d swear it was a custom-made mini-Lilly.

Hisao. Now there’s an interesting subject. When it was first announced that we’d be getting a new student, I paid no mind. Just another person who would stare, just another person to avoid. I don’t think I’ve ever been so wrong in my life. Ever since meeting him, Hisao has been nothing but kind to me. Even though our introduction was… more than a little awkward, I’m very glad I can call him my friend.

…

How long will it last? How long will it be before he sees me as nothing more than some poor, broken person in need of shielding from the world? How long before he devolves from friend to protector? How long would I be able to take it?

I shake off the idea. I refuse to allow that. Perhaps Lilly’s sojourn to Scotland is exactly what I need to prove to my friends that I can do things on my own. I’ve been considering spending some time in the Newspaper Club, as a matter of fact. Maybe I could-

Knock Knock Knock

The sound of knocking at my door shakes me out of my thoughts. Three gentle knocks, always in rapid succession, yet discreetly quiet. There’s only one person in all of Yamaku who knocks like that and would come see me. I make my way to the door and open it just a bit, and sure enough, the object of my thoughts stands on the other side.

“Hisao?”

“Hey, Hanako. Uh…”

He seems to be… struggling? That’s unexpected. Usually, I’m the one fumbling over my words. It’s very taxing for me to speak calmly to someone, even with Lilly, there are moments where my infernal stuttering rears its head. With Hisao though, I find myself at an ease that I’ve yet to find a proper word to describe. I’m getting off topic…

“Is… something wrong?” I say in a low tone.

“Wrong? Ah, no, things are fine, I guess.”

“Fine.” The word used by teenagers everywhere when things are absolutely not fine. This is very unlike Hisao; he’s always so stubbornly headstrong, even to a fault at times. If there’s something bothering him, I wouldn’t want the nosier of my hallmates to overhear. That just leaves me with one option… one I’m terrified to suggest.

I can do this. It’s Hisao. He’s someone special to me. Very special…

“Would y-you… like to… c-come in?”

It takes an unfathomable amount of mental effort to force that question out of my mouth. The fact I managed it with minimal stuttering is nothing short of a miracle. Hisao’s eyes widen for a moment, then relax again.

“Ah, if you don’t mind…”

I can’t help but smile at this rare display of shyness from Hisao, it’s kind of cute. As I open the door all the way, however, my girlish thoughts subside and are replaced by my usual pessimistic musings. Is he OK? Did something happen? Oh, gods… is Lilly alright?!

Hisao enters my room and closes the door behind him, then turns to face me. Now that he’s inside, I notice the opaque bag in his hands. It takes a few moments for my mind to make the connection to where I’d seen something similar before; it’s the same kind of bag he and Lilly had my birthday presents in. The negative thoughts from before evaporate in an instant, replaced with confusion and curiosity.

“Hanako, I, uh… I have something for you. I hope you like it.”

Hisao quickly presents the gift to me, arms outstretched and all. It takes me a few seconds before I can react, accepting the gift and taking it in my hands. From what I can tell from touch alone, this feels much larger and firmer than the birthday presents I received.
I carefully undo the wrapping, just as I had done with his and Lilly’s other gifts. I nearly come to a full stop as soon as I notice the familiar white-and-black square pattern.

“This is…”

I finish unwrapping what I now know is a chess set, one of high quality, at that. I take a moment to take in every detail; in so doing I accidentally trigger a mechanism that reveals a compartment for storing the pieces. Taking one in my hand, it’s as intricately detailed as the board itself. Though I can’t quite make out whatever material this is, I can tell that they’re hand-carved with an expert level of care and dexterity.
“They’re coral. Natural and undyed, or so I’ve been told.”

Hisao’s words snap me back to reality; I almost forgot he was there! With great care, I place the board and piece on my desk, then turn to face him. He looks less nervous than before, but I think I know exactly what he needs to put him at ease…

“Thank you, Hisao. It’s a very nice gift,” I say with a smile. I mean what I say, but now I find myself with a whole slew of questions. Hisao visibly relaxes at my words, a smile of his own appearing on his face. He has a nice smile…

“I’m glad you like it,” he says while still smiling. Silence looms over us for a few seconds, one that I cannot afford to become awkward. Well, in for a penny…

“Hisao?”

“Yeah?”

…

“Why? Y-You were at my b-birthday…”

DAMN IT! Way to go, Ikezawa! Now he’s going to think I’m ungrateful or that-

“Oh, heh… Well, thing is…”

Hisao’s nerves come back with full force, immediately plucking me out of whatever destination my mind was racing towards. I’ve never seen him like this; Hisao is usually confident, if a bit aloof, or at least that’s what I’ve observed whenever the three of us are together. I don’t know what he’s like when he’s with Lilly. Alone with Lilly…

“Since Lilly had just the one present, I figured… Well, not that it should matter, I think…”

What? I can feel my face contorting into a look of confusion. Hisao is bouncing back and forth as if he’s trying to come up with an excuse for his missing homework and failing spectacularly. Eventually, he runs out of things to say and just sighs heavily.

“Oh, who am I kidding? I barely believed that excuse, myself.”

I have no idea what he’s talking about, and it’s making me anxious. Maybe I should just drop the subject entirely for both our sakes. He was just being a good friend, that’s all. Isn’t that what friends do? What would I know about friendship? Did I really think that I could be more to anyone than just some-

“I just wanted to make you happy,” Hisao finally blurts out. Every thought I had in my head grinds to a screeching halt. I can barely even remember what I was just thinking about. Did I just… did he just… did I hear that right? I think he’s as shocked as I am, because he’s looking off to the side and trying to recompose himself.

“I… like seeing you happy,” his voice has lowered considerably, but I can hear it clear as crystal.

PoV: Hisao

Before I can stop myself, those words escape my mouth as if I were a man possessed.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!

No more than 5 minutes ago, I was struggling to knock on the door, and now I’ve gone and shot myself in the foot by blurting that out! Hanako looks visibly shaken by my words; she’s staring directly at me, mouth slightly ajar. I can only imagine what she’s thinking, and it’s nothing good.

Before I can make an even greater ass out of myself than I already have, I think it’s best I head back to my dorm. Hopefully this will all blow over and she’ll have forgotten all about it by the time Lilly gets back.

“Anyway, uh… I should get going. Curfew soon.”

I turn away and open Hanako’s door, then step out. Putting on the best smile I can right now, I turn around, but right as I’m about to wish her goodnight, she breaks the silence.

“Hisao?”

“Hm?”

Well, so much for my escape plan. I was hoping this conversation could wait until later so I could think of a response, but it seems Hanako has other ideas. After what feels like an eternity, Hanako begins to make her way towards me, hands held close to her chest.

My legs are frozen in place, but my mind is racing at a speed that could put Emi to shame. After a moment, Hanako is standing a couple of steps in front of me, just beyond the frame of her bedroom door.

I hear a quiet yet sharp intake of breath, and before I can fully comprehend what’s happening, I can feel Hanako’s hand on my right cheek and her lips on my left. All the tension in my body melts away in an instant, at the same time, my head suddenly feels a little fuzzy.

It ends as quickly as it started, with Hanako gently pulling away and putting her hands on her door. Hanako… she just… did that just happen?

“’Night, Hisao…”

She’s avoiding eye contact, but I’m pretty sure she’s smiling. If I had to guess, I’m probably grinning like an idiot myself. Just as the door is about to close completely, I manage to find my voice.

“’Night, Hanako…”

Click

By the time I regain my senses, I realize that I’ve been standing in front of Hanako’s door, hand where her lips used to be, for a solid two minutes. Making my way out of the girls’ dorms and to my own, I feel… lighter? Calmer? Whatever this feeling is, I hope to experience more of it in the future, especially with the girl who’s made me feel this way.

*** Bonus: Hanako’s PoV Extended ***

Oh. Oh, gods. Is this really happening?

Nobody, especially not a boy, has ever said something like that to me. As such, I’m completely at a loss for how to proceed. The logical and cautious side of me is saying that he means that in the most platonic way possible. Friends look out for each other, so why wouldn’t he want to make me happy? Yet, the other side of me, the one that dares to hope… I dare not let those thoughts in my head, not yet.

“Anyway, uh… I should get going. Curfew soon.”

Hisao seems to have collected himself, but his smile is gone. He makes his way out of my room and stops outside my doorframe. He’s smiling again, but it’s different than the one from before. I like the one from before. I want the one from before. I need to say something. I need to do something. Wake up, Ikezawa!

“Hisao?”

“Hm?”

He visibly perks up at this, he probably expected to hear a reply from me about as much as I expected to be able to give one.

…

Against every instinct I have, every single protective barrier I’ve built around myself for the past decade, I slowly make my way towards Hisao. Despite the nagging-turned-screaming voice in my head that’s telling me to stop, to just say goodnight and hide away, I keep going. Before I know it, I’m opposite to Hisao; him just outside my room, me just inside.

In all my years of reading, I don’t think I’ve ever found a word that could properly describe how much effort what I’m about to do is going to take. Before I can allow myself to second-guess, I put my left hand to Hisao’s cheek, raise myself just a little, and plant a kiss on his other cheek.

Oh-gods-oh-gods-oh-gods-what-was-I-thinking-what-have-I-done-Lilly-will-never-believe-this-oh-wow

“’Night, Hisao…”

I can’t even bear to look at his face right now I’m so embarrassed and my face is hot I think I’m smiling and I feel like I’m about to pass out I just need to keep calm for a few seconds and close the door to my room very slowly yes just like that OK very good…

“’Night, Hanako…”

No sooner do I close and lock the door than the immensity of what I just did crashes down on me. Holy SHIT! What in the name of every deity known to mankind was I thinking?! How could I do that?! Hisao is one of my closest friends and I feel like I’ve just violated his trust because of my stupid, selfish desires. Yet… I can’t stop repeating Hisao’s words in my head.

“I just wanted to make you happy. I like seeing you happy.”

Could he really think that way about me? Hisao is a good friend, but sometimes he is very hard to understand. Right now, he feels impossible to understand. I hope I haven’t just messed everything up…

I can’t think straight right now, I’m so exhausted. Making my way to my bed, I gingerly grab the teddy bear and Petra, then settle myself into bed with them. I need all the support I can get…

¹ Meet the Nakais by AceLions.

► Show Spoiler

Alex FRD · Post by **Alex FRD** » Fri Aug 30, 2024 9:30 pm

Painful Histories

PoV: Hisao

It’s so peaceful out here. The Satou summer home is a rare sight in Japan these days, an opinion I shared with my companions when we arrived. Currently, I find myself on the front porch of the house, looking outward at the vast wheat field that surrounds us, the setting Sun bathing it all in a stunning orange light. As for my aforementioned company, Lilly is currently in the living room reading the book that she had started on the train ride over. As for Hanako, she’s standing beside me, seemingly mesmerized by the sheer beauty of the scene before us.

Hanako and I haven’t had many opportunities to talk since the… event that took place in her room a few days ago², but I’ve noticed a striking change in Hanako in that short time. Ever since that night, she hasn’t stuttered once when speaking to me or Lilly, and I’ve noticed a subtle change in her tone of voice, at least when it’s just the three of us. All of this pales in comparison to the biggest surprise of the day, though. Once we arrived at the house, she wasted no time removing her jacket and hat. Never in a thousand years did I think I’d ever see Hanako have the confidence to do such a thing, especially around anyone other than Lilly. The sight of Hanako so… exposed, for lack of a better word, was enough to chase away the creeping sleepiness that had gripped me as soon as we walked in the door. I thank the gods I was able to look away before she noticed me staring.

Speaking of staring, I can’t help but continually glance over at the girl standing just to my right. Her eyes are closed, and her head is held high, content to just feel the wind gently caress her face and hair. She looks stunning.

After a few moments of bliss, she opens her eyes and turns toward me, a serious look on her face. Oh… here it comes. This is it, isn’t it? It’s time for the dreaded “so about the other day” conversation…

“Hisao?”

“What’s up?”

She stays silent for a few seconds, her head looking upward. This isn’t like her usual, nervous silences. She’s searching, but for what exactly, I can’t tell.

“What are you like?”

… What? That’s definitely not what I expected to hear from her. I don’t know whether to be relieved at my stay of execution, confused by the strangeness of her question, or disappointed in the further delay of our inevitable talk. Why am I making such a big deal about it?

“I don’t think I understand.”

“I… don’t think we’ve ever actually talked much. I want to…”

She trails off, but I get the message. She wants to know more about me, which makes perfect sense. Despite my interest in Hanako, it occurs to me that I also know relatively little about her, myself. If this is going anywhere, this is as good a place to start as any other.

“Well…”

I proceed to tell Hanako all there is to say: my home life growing up, my old group of friends, how I had to learn to fend for myself due to my parents’ long work hours. Hanako looks and listens wordlessly, the occasional nod signaling that I have her full attention. When I get to the topic of my heart, though…

“… then one day I… I got a note from a girl I liked. She asked me if, well, you know… and that was it. Next thing I know, I’m waking up in the hospital. My classmates made it a point to send their… condolences, I guess. Lots of get-well cards, stuff like that. But, when it was just my three close friends and Iwanako, that’s the girl I mentioned, who would come to visit, I realized it was all for show. Most likely, a class project or something. Then… eventually, my friends stopped coming. Iwanako was the last to see me. We… didn’t say anything to each other, but…”

Hanako’s expression shifts to one of… worry? Pain? Whether it’s out of empathy or because I’ve dug up some long-repressed memory of her own past, I can’t tell. I hope it’s the former. Either way, I should move on.

“The doctor and my parents agreed it would be best if I didn’t return to my old school, so off I went to Yamaku. 24-hour-nursing staff, catered for students with disabilities, it had everything I “needed”, according to them.”

I can feel my mood begin to sour. Despite all my efforts to adjust to this new life, it takes very little for melancholy to catch me in its grasp. Shaking it off, I soldier on.

“But it’s not so bad. I’ll take 34 pills over spending another minute in the hospital any day.”

At this, Hanako’s eyes and mouth widen in shock. Was it something I said?

“Thirty-four?!” she blurts out, and I’m pretty sure Lilly heard her, too. Calming herself, she repeats her question in a lower tone.

“Yeah, 17 in the morning, 17 at night. Which reminds me, gotta be sure to take them before I head to bed. Or futon, rather.”

A small giggle escapes her at the mention of my exile from the bedroom, but her look of concern is quick to return.

“I’m OK, Hanako, I promise. Like I said, it’s better than a hospital stay.”

At this, she visibly relaxes.

“And that’s pretty much the story of Hisao Nakai. Thank you… for listening. I… hadn’t told anyone the whole story, until now.”

“Thank you… for sharing all that with me, Hisao.”

Though she’s smiling, I can tell there’s something… off about her. I can’t place my finger on it, but I can tell there’s something on her mind.

PoV: Hanako

I had no idea. Hisao and I are more alike than I thought; we both lost so much so quickly, forced to adjust in such an impossibly short time, we were discarded by the people we thought were our friends, and we both will carry reminders of it for the rest of our lives. Where do we go from here?

Hisao has borne his soul to me; I feel closer to him than I ever have with anyone else… even Lilly. Can I really do the same? I’ve only ever told Lilly the basics; there was never any need to go beyond that, but after everything Hisao has told me, I feel obligated to return his trust and share my own past. I have to do this. If I want him to truly see me as an equal, I have to tell him everything. Everything. I can do this…

Wordlessly, I move my hand up to the long bangs of hair that cover the right side of my face. No turning back now…

“You’ve told me your past… now I need to show you mine…”

“… Hanako?”

Without hesitation, I move my hair out of the way and tuck it behind my ear.³ He’s never seen this much of me, nobody has. Hisao is looking deep into my eyes; if such a thing were possible, I’d swear he was reading my heart.

“The fire happened when I was eight years old…”

PoV: Hisao

I’m completely transfixed. Though Hanako had told me before about the fire that changed her life, she had only given me vague, surface-level details. Now, though, she’s telling me everything. She’s showing me everything. Images flash in my head as she speaks; of her mother sacrificing herself to protect Hanako from the engulfing inferno, of her father carrying her through the flames, of a scared little girl crawling on the snow, reaching out for her father as he is crushed by their collapsing home. I can feel a tear run down my cheek, the first one in a very long time.⁴

“Now you know me. All of me.”

Hanako’s words sound shaky; the moisture in her eyes tells me that her composure is teetering on the edge of total collapse. I don’t think there’s anything I could say that could reassure her, nor will I try. Nothing I could say can bring her parents back nor undo the ten years of Hell she’s had to endure. There’s only one thing I can think of to do, and I pray it’s the right thing to do.

Steeling my nerves, I move my hand to Hanako’s, which is gripping on the wood of the house’s deck railing and give it a gentle squeeze.

“Thank you, Hanako.”

She lets out a small gasp at my touch but doesn’t recoil. Only now do I realize I’ve grabbed her scarred hand, her left hand currently wiping the tears from her eyes. She says nothing, but the smile on her face says more than words ever could. There’s a new understanding between us, a level of trust that neither I nor her have ever shared with anyone. The orange light of the sky is gone by now, replaced entirely by starlight. Hanako and I share a knowing look and wordlessly agree; it’s probably best to turn in for the night. I let go of her hand and she clasps it with her other, neither of us saying anything as we make our way back inside.

² According to ProfAllister’s calendar of events, Mutual Presents will need to take place on Thursday, July 12 for this thing to be chronologically consistent. In other words, exactly two days before this scene. Decided to make this scene take place about a week later, instead.
³ Not ashamed to admit that I smiled every time Hanako did this in dewelar’s Developments.
⁴ Future by Cpl_Crud.

► Show Spoiler

Alex FRD · Post by **Alex FRD** » Fri Aug 30, 2024 10:11 pm

You're So Wonderful

PoV: Hisao

As Hanako and I make our way back inside, Lilly perks up and sets her book aside, a smile on her face.

“Welcome back.”

“Hey, Lilly,” I say, barely managing to cover my mouth as I yawn. It proves to be contagious, since Hanako follows my lead.

“My my, tired already?” Lilly is masking her amused smile with one hand; I think she actually doesn’t have any clue what time it is. This opportunity is too good to pass up…

“Um, it’s actually dark out already…” Hanako interjects before I have a chance to say anything.

Ah, damn! So much for that idea. Still, the look on Lilly’s face as it morphs from humor to genuine shock is priceless. Ah well, different methods, same result.

“Oh dear. I seem to have gotten a little too engrossed in my reading. I hope you weren’t too bored.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I think we all needed to relax and take in the atmosphere after such a long trip.”

“Well said, Hisao. I believe some rest and relaxation did us all some good.”

I make my way to my bag and fish out my medication. Thankfully, I had pre-arranged my doses already, so this shouldn’t take long. Just as I’m about to head to the kitchen for some water, Hanako appears next to me, full glass in hand.

“Here,” she says as she offers it to me, a smile adorning her face. I really, really like her smile. Smiling back, I accept the glass and thank her, downing my pills with a few gulps. She heads to her and Lilly’s room, presumably to prepare for bed. I take the glass back to the kitchen and give it a quick wash, then go about my own bedtime preparations. By the time I’m back to the living room, I feel completely drained. Sweet, glorious futon, here I come. Just as I’m about to settle in, a nightgown-clad Hanako emerges, standing about halfway between the hallway leading to her room and the living room.

“Hey, Hanako. Everything OK?”

She nods, eyes heavy with sleep. Though she’s standing a bit far, I can make out the faint redness in her cheeks.

“I just wanted to say… goodnight, Hisao.” She raises her hand in a small wave, one I return. My hand feels heavy from fatigue, but I can manage this much.

“Goodnight, Hanako. Sleep well.”

“You, too.” And with that, she retreats into the hallway, and I hear the door to the bedroom close. I switch off the lights and make myself comfortable on the futon; it’s actually pretty cozy. Just before sleep grips me, I find myself thinking of Hanako. She really is an amazing girl…

The next morning passes by uneventfully. I wake up, down my cocktail of medications, and have breakfast with Lilly and Hanako. Today we’ve planned to go into the nearby town to do some shopping and have lunch. In the time between breakfast and the afternoon, I heard on the news that today’s going to be a bit of a scorcher. I make a mental note to take some extra water with me, maybe ditch the sweater vest for the time being. Arrhythmia, heat, and long walks don’t mix well. Heh. All that’s missing is a bar and we can reach the punchline; Hisao-

“Hisao, are you ready?”

Lilly’s question cuts my bad comedy routine short; guess it’s time to head into town. Lilly’s dressed in her usual casual attire, cane in hand.

“Ah yeah, just need to grab some water for the road. By the way, where’s Ha…na…”

The wind is completely knocked from my sails as my eyes land on Hanako. Standing just behind Lilly, she’s wearing a dazzling light-yellow dress, adorned with lilac-colored frills at the straps, around her chest, and at the skirt. As odd as it sounds, I can’t help but think it was made just for her; the light-dark contrast between the dress’s yellow and lilac matches perfectly with Hanako’s fair and burnt skin⁵. She’s gorgeous.

“I’m… here.”

Her gaze is cast downward, and her body is turned slightly away from me. It only takes a second to see why; nothing is covering the scar tissue on her right arm. Upon noticing this, a sudden realization dawns on me. I’ve seen Hanako’s hand before, even held it yesterday, but I’ve never seen beyond her cuff. Even yesterday, the sleeves of her blouse obscured my view of her skin. Now, I can see that her scarring extends far beyond that; all the way up her arm and, I assume, even further.

: Consolidation Hanako Dress No Speech.jpg (241.85 KiB) Viewed 188 times

“Ah, yeah. Hi.”

“Is something wrong, Hisao? You seem distracted,” Lilly says. Only now do I realize I was barely able to piece together that poor excuse of a sentence.

“Yeah sorry, I was just thinking about some-thing.” Nice going, jackass. There’s no way she didn’t notice that slip-up.

“If you insist. We’d best be off, it’s quite a walk.”

The expression on her face tells me that she knows more than she’s letting on, but she thankfully doesn’t press the issue any further. Without further delay, we head off. As we make our way, I notice that Hanako has barely said anything since we left the house, her focus being entirely on the road ahead. I hope nothing’s wrong…

I can honestly say that this was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time. Once we arrived in town, Hanako and Lilly were quick to do some clothes shopping, which thankfully didn’t take too long. At the insistence of my female companions, I got myself a change of clothes. Looks like I’ll be having Yamaku’s cafeteria food for three months…

Afterwards, Lilly treated us to a nice lunch and some ice cream to fight off the increasing summer heat. With our business concluded, we began our trek back to the house. At the rate we’re going, we should arrive there well before sunset. There’s just one thing that’s been bothering me…

Hanako has barely uttered a word after this morning. The more time passes, the more I dread I’m the one responsible for her discomfort. I think Lilly’s noticed this, too; around lunchtime I felt a subtle drop in her mood. When we finally arrive back at the house, Lilly speaks up.

“Hanako, would you mind giving Hisao and I some privacy? There’s something important we need to discuss.”

Lilly’s stern tone startles both Hanako and I, I don’t think I’ve ever heard her talk like this. Hanako is the first to respond.

“S-sure. I’ll just… get some f-fresh air…”

My eyes linger on Hanako as she makes her way out of the house and closes the door behind her. When I turn to face Lilly, I notice she’s sitting at the table, her hands clasped in front of her and a serious look on her face. I know that look; it’s the kind my parents would give me just before a stern lecture due to some lackluster performance on a test. With rising trepidation, I take the seat across from her. Sensing my presence, she speaks.

“Hisao. Normally, I wouldn’t pry into the personal business of my friends like this, but under the present circumstances, I feel I must act.”

“Lilly, what’s going on? I’ll be honest, you’re worrying me.”

That’s the understatement of the century. In all the time I’ve known Lilly, I’ve never heard her talk like this. I think the closest she has ever come was that duel of wits that she and Shizune had so long ago. At my words, Lilly relaxes her stern look, but remains resolute.

“I apologize, Hisao. Please, allow me to explain. I’m sure you’ve realized that Hanako has been acting strange today. From what I gather, you and she have grown quite close over the past few days, and I am hoping you can help me understand what is happening.”

This conversation took an unexpected turn. I feel a considerable amount of tension leave my body, but it’s quickly replaced with concern. So, I wasn’t wrong; Lilly noticed it, too. What I still don’t get is why Lilly is bringing this up now. Does Lilly do this often; just intervene whenever Hanako is feeling down? Was her hands-off approach during Hanako’s birthday an exception? How does that make Hanako feel?

“I noticed it myself, actually. I wish I had an answer for you, but I’m at a loss. Things seemed so great yesterday. Even this morning at breakfast, everything seemed fine.”

“Agreed. Had this begun in town, I would have simply dismissed it as Hanako’s usual fear of crowds. However, her unusual silence on the way there gave me the impression that something else was the cause.”

“Something or someone?” That probably came out way more accusatory than I intended, but right now, I need answers. If Lilly also thinks I’ve upset Hanako somehow, she’d be in a great position to tell me.

As much as I believe I’ve grown close to Hanako over the past month, that pales in comparison to Lilly and Hanako’s longstanding friendship.

“I’m sorry, Hisao. When we were in town, I asked Hanako if something was bothering her. All she said was "Hisao looked at me." I could tell from her tone that she was holding back her emotions.”

I “looked at her?” What the Hell does that mean? My first thought is to yesterday evening when Hanako showed me the hidden side of her face, but that can’t be it, she wanted me to see. I rack my brain for any other explanation; it had to have been at some point today between breakfast and-

Oh. Oh no. Realization hits me at full force, as if everything has fallen into place and then crashed down on my head at terminal velocity. This morning, when I first saw her in her dress. While all I could see was radiant beauty, all she could see was her supposed friend gawking at her. And what was it I said? “Uh, yeah, hi”? Fucking brilliant, Nakai…

“Hisao?”

“I… this morning, just before we left. I saw Hanako and… I think I… may have been staring at her…”

Lilly lets out a deep sigh, her expression changing into one of concerned understanding.

“That’s… unfortunate. You know how she feels about that, Hisao.”

My first instinct is to counter, but I manage to restrain myself. As cruel as it sounds, Lilly could never understand. She has her ways, but I don’t think Lilly can comprehend physical beauty. At least, not in the same way I do. I hate myself for admitting this, but what else can I do? If Lilly could see what I see…

“It’s not like I was looking at her scars or anything, I just… I wish you could see her, Lilly. Hanako is so beautiful, stunning, even. She’s one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, she’s so patient and understanding. Her scars don’t do much to diminish her beauty⁶, and oh God when she smiles… it’s enough to make me forget everything and just…”

Want to be with her, at her side. I stop myself just short of declaring that out loud, realizing how much of my feelings for Hanako I’ve just revealed to her best friend. Lilly’s face has completely transformed; her eyes are wide open and her lips slightly ajar. Quickly though, she recomposes herself, her eyes closing and a half smile on her face.

“Hisao… What do you think of Hanako?”

“I don’t follow.” Yes, I do. I know exactly what she’s asking. I’m just too scared to say it out loud.

“Hisao.”

Her stern tone is back, and her smile has left. Damn, if there was ever any doubt that she could pull off the “stern disciplinarian” look, it’s gone now. If she ever has kids, they will never get away with anything.

“I… I think…” No, I don’t think. In all of this, I realize just how much I care about her. My feelings for Hanako aren’t the same I have for Lilly, they’re not even the same I had for Iwanako. The thought of losing Hanako, especially to something like this, frightens me to my core.

“I love her, Lilly.”

Lilly’s entire body relaxes as soon as the words leave me, her eyes close and her lips form a wide smile. I can’t help but follow her example. Being able to admit my feelings for Hanako makes me feel so good.

“In all honesty, I had suspected it for some time. It’s good to hear you confirm it.”

“You knew? How?”

“Come now, Hisao. Surely, you’ve heard of women’s intuition?”

“Oh, I see. Fine, keep your secrets.”

We both share a brief chuckle at this, but we need to focus. I’ve hurt Hanako, even if by accident. I can’t just leave things the way they are.

“What do I do, Lilly? I have to make this right. I can’t bear the thought of losing Hanako over some stupid misunderstanding.” The thought crosses my mind of how infuriatingly often that cliché occurs in media. Sorry, but I won’t allow my life to become some cheap romance manga.

“I think it’s time for you to be as honest with her as you were with yourself, Hisao. If Hanako is even half the woman you describe her to be, she deserves to know.”

I figured she’d say that. I know it’s what I have to do, it’s what I want to do, but I’m still afraid. Afraid of messing things up, afraid that she doesn’t feel the same way. Afraid of my own damn heart.

“I know you're right, but I'm nervous. What if she says no? I don't want her out of my life.”

“Then you simply remain as friends. I trust you both to have that maturity.”

“Thanks, Lilly.”

“You’re welcome, Hisao. However, if I am correct, you are almost out of time.”

It takes me a second to get what she means; the sky has begun to shift colors, if I don’t get a move on, Hanako will return, and I’ll have missed my chance. With a deep and determined breath, I get up from the table and head for the door.

“Wish me luck!”

PoV: Hanako

Maybe I should head back. The Sun has started setting, I’m sure they’re done talking by now. The only thing stopping me is the idea of facing Hisao. I know he means well, but I’m sure he’ll ask if everything is alright just as soon as I walk in the door. Even Lilly noticed my silence today; it took a great amount of effort to hold back my nerves and give her just the vaguest of answers when she asked if something was amiss. “Hisao looked at me”, not untrue, but not very descriptive, either.

The truth is, I’m not sure how I feel right now. Last night, I showed Hisao more of myself than I ever have to anyone. Despite all my fears and insecurities, he didn’t pity me or look down on me; he accepted me. However, Hisao’s lingering gaze on me just before we left this morning made me question whether I went too far too quickly. Hisao is a hard man to read at times, and his expression this morning was one of those times. His stoic, almost catatonic expression sent my mind into a spiraling mess; was he disgusted at the realization of how badly I’m scarred? Curious about the extent of said scarring? Confused by my choice in attire? Was he pitting me? Does he find me attractive?

Those and many more questions swam in my head for the duration of our trip into town, and I’m no closer to finding the right answer than I was hours ago. Although Hisao and I have grown to trust one another, I don’t even want to imagine having that conversation with him. I don’t think I have a choice.

Just as I’m about to stand and head for home, I hear footsteps approaching from behind.

PoV: Hisao

Making my way out of the house, I scan my surroundings for Hanako. Sure enough, her dark hair is a striking contrast to the yellow of the wheat field, making her easy to spot. She’s sitting just a few meters away from the house, the small hill the house is perched on giving her a great view of the surrounding land. Determined, I get closer until I’m within earshot. Heart, don’t fail me now.

“Hanako?”

She turns around to look at me and brings herself up to her feet, her unobscured eyes making contact with mine. I’m glad she still trusts me enough for that.

“Hi, Hisao. Is everything OK?”

“Hey, yeah, everything’s fine, Lilly just had something important she wanted to talk about.”

“Hm.”

Silence. Alright, then. I close some of the distance between us a little but leave enough room for her to feel comfortable. I’ve got this…

“Hanako, I… What do you think of me?”

“Eh? What… I think? Um…”

Her eyes cast downward for a few seconds, then back up at me. After taking a moment to collect her thoughts, she continues.

“Hisao… when I got to Yamaku, I didn’t have any friends. I was content with being alone, out of sight and mind for everyone. But then, when Lilly moved into the room next to mine, everything changed.”

Hanako is speaking with such clarity and confidence that I can’t help but wonder if this is the same girl I met in the library all that time ago. She tells me about how her and Lilly’s friendship began, how she slowly began to rebuild trust in people… but then, her tone shifts.

“But… It felt like… it feels like she’s just trying to save me from the world. That’s not what I want… I want her to see that I can be strong, that I can do things on my own. I didn’t know how to do that without hurting her…”

Despite the sadness in her voice, I can see just how determined she is to show her strength. My understanding of Hanako as a person has completely changed, yet my feelings for her haven’t diminished. If anything, they’re stronger.

“Then… I met you. You were different. You always treated me like… like I wasn’t different or… broken. You saw me… for who I want to be. You have no idea how much that means to me.”

Her words cause a stirring in my chest that I’ve never felt before. Now more than ever, I want to be by her side, to be her confidant, to stand by her no matter what fate throws at us.

“There was a time when I thought that… if I didn’t do something, you would start to see me different. That if I didn’t prove to you that I was strong, you’d start to see me as someone who needs protection, too.”

Is it possible to be confused and understanding at the same time? Is there a word for such a thing? I get where she’s coming from, and if I’m being honest with myself, there were some moments where I thought and acted more like her shield than her friend. I won’t allow myself to make that mistake again.

“What do you mean, that if you didn’t do something? I’m not sure I understand.”

“When you came to visit me after my birthday and gave me your chess set… I felt different. The fear I had of you eventually looking down on me went away, and I… was so happy that I…”

Her face has turned a noticeable shade of red, and I feel my cheeks burning as I realize what she’s talking about. I bring my fingers up to my cheek where Hanako planted her kiss just a few days ago, recalling the feeling of her soft lips on my skin. The time has come, Nakai…

“I was afraid… that I had crossed a line, I couldn’t bring myself to talk to you about it. I’m… really sorry, Hisao.”

“Don’t be. Truth be told I… really enjoyed it.”

I can’t bear to keep eye contact as I finish that sentence, looking away in embarrassment. Gah, I feel like a giddy middle schooler. Once I’ve regained my composure, I notice that Hanako has completely lost hers; she’s hugging herself and looking slightly downward, her face completely flushed. She looks like a giddy middle schooler. After a moment, her gaze returns to me.

“When Lilly invited us here, I made the decision to prove to you both that I could be strong. Then, when you told me everything yesterday… I knew I could. So, I decided… to wear this…”

And all the pieces finally fall in place. This isn’t how I expected to reach this point of our conversation, but whatever force or deity has led me here, you have my gratitude.⁷ I need to approach this subject very carefully. I know Hanako isn’t happy with my staring at her this morning, I just need to find a way to let her know it’s because I was enthralled, not revolted.

“But… you seemed a bit reserved today.”

“Yes… When I saw that you were… looking at me, a lot of things went through my mind. Some part of me hoped you thought I looked… pretty. But I wasn’t sure, and not knowing scared me. Other parts of me thought that… you’d…”

She runs her left hand along the scarring on her right arm, all the way from her wrist to her shoulder. Lilly and I were completely wrong. She wasn’t retreating into herself, nor was she offended by my looking at her; she was afraid that by showing too much of herself to me, I’d be so repulsed that I’d want to distance myself from her. Alright, Hisao… it’s time.

“I would never do that, Hanako. I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate your trust, not just in letting me know you, but in letting me see you, too. I’d like to put your mind at ease; I think you look stunning.”

Hanako’s mouth opens in surprise, and I can hear her take a shaky breath as tears begin to form in her eyes. It’s now or never.

“But… I’m so…”⁸

“Hanako… I think you’re a wonderful, beautiful girl. I love you, and I want you to be by my side.”

God, I should have rehearsed this, that was so generic… Hanako’s eyes widen in shock, and she says nothing. The tears haven’t stopped, and for the life of me, I can’t get a read on her expression at all. Just as fear starts gripping my mind, Hanako launches herself into my chest, arms wrapping tightly around me. She’s careful to aim her head away from my heart and land gently, thankfully.

“Hisao… for so long… that’s what I’ve wanted to hear…”

I can hear faint sobs from her and feel my chest getting wet, but I don’t worry; I know her tears aren’t of pain or sorrow. I gently wrap my arms around her, holding her in a tight embrace. This feels so right. For however long or short this moment lasts, everything feels so right. When it passes and we separate, she is the first to speak.

“I’m sorry, Hisao… I’ve messed up everything… I hope you still enjoyed today…”

Despite her words, she says them with a smile between small sniffles. I help Hanako to wipe away some of the stray tears on her cheeks; she doesn’t flinch away or protest.

“Hana… today was one of the best days of my life. I’m glad I was able to spend it with you.”

“Oh, Hisao… you shouldn’t say things like that… you might have to carry me back to the house at this rate.”

“Oh well, then I’d better hold back. I’m not sure I have the upper body strength for that.”

Her expression changes to one of concern, but it quickly disappears as she realizes what I mean and lets out a small giggle.

“You're mean... and terrible at teasing.”

“You started it.”

“Meanie.”

The sky over us has begun shifting from orange to violet. I take it as an indicator that we should get back inside.

“We should head back; it’s getting dark and Lilly’s gonna start worrying if we take too long.”

“Oh right, Lilly! I need to help her make dinner, too.”

Without further delay, I offer my hand to Hanako, who happily accepts, and we begin to make our way back to the house. Just as we’re about to reach it, however, she stops and speaks up.

“Hisao?”

“Yeah?”

“Um… earlier you said… about when I… you said you liked when I kissed you?”

“Heh, yeah, it was really nice. I liked it. I liked it a lot.”

She lets out a giggle and gives me one of the sweetest smiles I’ve ever seen. I love this girl so much.

“Then… maybe you’ll like this, too?”

“Hanako…?”

Just like that day in her room, Hanako places her soft hand on my cheek. This time, however, her lips land on mine. The surprise only lasts an instant, and I return her affection in kind, wrapping my arms around her and bringing her closer. No matter what our future holds in store, I’m comforted by the fact I’ll have this wonderful woman by my side for it.

⁵ Maestro, you brilliant fuck.
⁶ Guest Poster, you are an artist.
⁷ You're welcome, now don't fuck it up.
⁸ Yes, this entire scene was inspired by that one sentence in Raita's sketch.

► Show Spoiler

Alex FRD · Post by **Alex FRD** » Fri Aug 30, 2024 10:21 pm

Postface

I am so tired but so satisfied. I began writing this on Sunday, August 4th and today is Friday, August 9th. Apart from a few short interruptions, I’ve done nothing except work on this little fanfic for the past week. I’d been thinking for a few days on how an alternate Hanako route that mixed aspects of her character from other versions of her (mostly from some of Crud's work available on Wordpress) and final release of the game would look like, and this is the result of my experimentation. Whether this works or not, I’ll let the reader decide.

Thank you to EurobeatJester, Grayest, Maestro, Iukyou (Xerge), and Tomas Purifying for their encouragement, helping me with proofreading, and even coming up with a few lines. Y’all are amazing.

Shoutouts to dewelar and Guest Poster for their amazing fanfictions; Developments and Sisterhood, whom I have shamelessly referenced. Your work has inspired many, including myself. Thank you.

Lastly, a heartfelt thank you to you, the reader, for taking the time to read. I hope you find my little thought experiment enjoyable.

Frankyo · Post by **Frankyo** » Sat Aug 31, 2024 9:39 pm

I read your story and really liked it, I love a strong Hanako that goes for Hisao as well since the feeling is mutual. I liked your Hanako pov more than Hisao's, as a criticism I have to give is that I think Hisao's pov could be better as he felt too exasperated in his thoughts, rather than what I would describe as introspective canonically. I realize that it may be your writing style or a stylistic choice, and hope some others chime in as I'm just a fanfic reader and not a writer, so take my words with a grain of salt.

Maybe not the best example but bad end Hisao's inner thoughts sound like this: I feel numb. Without anything else to do, I begin the walk back to my dormitory room, mechanically placing one foot in front of the other while barely registering a thing around me. My mind keeps ticking, questioning everything that I thought I knew about Hanako. But one thing is not questioned; that shutting that door brought a close to more than that single visit.

Alex FRD · Post by **Alex FRD** » Sat Aug 31, 2024 10:04 pm

Frankyo wrote: ↑Sat Aug 31, 2024 9:39 pm
I read your story and really liked it, I love a strong Hanako that goes for Hisao as well since the feeling is mutual.

Assertive Hanako is best Hanako.

Frankyo wrote: ↑Sat Aug 31, 2024 9:39 pm
Critique of Hisao's POVs and how he's written

Yeah, I get what you mean. Hanako wasn't the only character I aimed to change in this project; I wanted to write Hisao to be less... robotic, I guess? I wanted to bring him closer to what an 18-year-old would act like, but not go too far, either. One of the happiest accidents I had while writing this was that a poorly-written Hisao POV made me switch gears to a much better Hanako POV. In fact, I prefer writing from hers than his, but I wanted to strike a balance.

I'm glad you liked the story overall, thanks for giving it a read!

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