Flutter Bonus Levels (One-Shots) - Tilted [07/10/24]

[hdkv]

Three rooms. Three couples.

Next Bonus Level will be fun.

[hdkv]

You’re Dad’s a real piece of shit.

I think there must be "Your" instead of "You're", isn't it?

[Sharp-O]

Next Bonus Level will be fun.

It's a whole lot of porn and puns, as is my brand

I think there must be "Your" instead of "You're", isn't it?

Good shout, Vlad! Fixed now!

[Sharp-O]

~Hisao~

I think if we weren’t in borrowed clothes, we’d have torn them off each other by now but the frenzy of buttons and clasps and the rustle of fabric being undone or removed is only broken by grunting and the smacking of lips.

I pull the top half of Rika’s dress off her arms, revealing a strapless black bra, before I’m pushed down onto the edge of her bed. My slacks are dragged down as Rika drops to her knees. She forces my legs apart and then looks up at me with a seductive look.

“Someone looks happy to see me.” She purrs. From my vantage point, I’m having a hard time thinking of a witty comeback but seeing both our scars on display as we’re about to sleep together does make me think of how far I’ve come.

Pressure on the damp spot of my boxers sends a shiver up my spine and brings me out of my reverie. Rika pokes at the pre-cum soaked patch on my boxers with an amused look, watching me breathe a little harder.

She smirks, reaching for the hem of my boxers and pulling the elastic, tugging it away until I’m my full erection is in view. I don’t think she realises she licks her lips as she looks up and down the length of it but I honestly don’t care, I’m more focused on her breath on the underside of it.

She leans in, tilting her head to admire my penis as her fingers curl around it. Her eyes flutter up to my face before a smile and a long, slow, lick of the underside. The hand stuff and dry-humping didn’t prepare me for the feeling of her tongue. I gasp and then groan, making her giggle.

“Now you know what it’s like when you lick my neck.”

“And you don’t want me to do that to you?” I sigh happily, knowing full-well that she loves it when I do. She lets out an amused snort before licking me again. As her tongue slides along my shaft once again, I grip her sheets, sucking in air in long gasps.

Her mouth and hand work in concert so well that I end up on my back; letting the feelings in my lower half override all other thoughts. The warmth of her mouth around me, the laps of her tongue… This is bliss.

“How am I doing, Hisao?” Rika asks, taking me out of her mouth but stroking me as she does.

“Very good… So, so good.” I compliment, reaching to stroke her arm supportively. She giggles and continues to suck my dick, with a little more gusto than before. I haven’t got any experience to compare to but this is the best blowjob I’ve ever had. Rika would probably laugh if I said it out loud and I’d rather she keep doing what she’s doing.

“Rika, I’m…” I warn my girlfriend that I’m close and that seems to only make her go harder and faster. I try to resist but I lose all the strength in my body as I reach orgasm. Rika takes her mouth off me but continues to stroke as a strong shudder accompanies each surge of ejaculation. A strong first shot hits her chest and then pumps more out with every stroke over her hand, until I have to insist that she stop.

“Uhhhhh, I can’t believe you let me finish.” I groan despite how great that felt. I lean against my knees and focus on my breathing as she retrieves some tissues from her drawer.

“I heard that this was a good way to build up your endurance.” Rika comments with a sly smile, wiping errant cum from her chest and hand. “Y’know; the fun way.”

“And where’d you hear that hypothesis?” I throw her a curious eyebrow but it’s clear that she’s not going to tell me as she rises from her knees and throws the tissue into the trash.

“How about you grab the condoms and we test that theory a little more… Thoroughly.”

I stand to reach over into her drawer, kicking off my trousers as Rika slips out of her dress then trots across the room to close the curtains. I grab the non-descript box that she showed me before. As the room darkens, something curious catches my attention before the contents of the drawer disappear into darkness. A folded piece of paper that looked like it had my name on it.

I’m about to ask about it when Rika turns to face me; arms behind her back, wearing nothing at all. She smiles shyly as she looks at my body and I do the same. Any curiosity or fatigue I might have fades into the back of my mind. I’m very ready and I think she is too.

---

~Saki~

Taro’s hand strokes my face as he plants attentive kisses on my clavicle, trailing more kisses down my chest to my boobs as I undo my blouse button-by-button. Taro’s so different to Shura. He was only ever interested in getting his dick wet and, for my sins, I encouraged that.

This is better. Taro’s showing my whole body more attention than Shura ever did and he’s doing it one-handed! His giant hand slides across my skin with a softness I’d never expect. It’s tender, gentle, soft. His hand disappears under my back as he kisses me passionately but a sudden ease of pressure around my chest makes me moan a question into his mouth. He leans up as I look at him in surprise, a cocky look on his face.

“How the hell did you unhook my bra one-handed? Without even looking!” I stare at him with a mix of shock and lust while he looks away in embarrassment.

“I’m working with a bunch of handicaps so I had to learn to compensate.” Taro looks back with a bashful smirk when he notices my quizzical look. “Being my size, being one-handed, being a nerd…”

“I think you’re doing good so far.” I huff, mildly impressed while shuffling out of my blouse and bra. He pulls his limp arm through his sleeve and pulls his t-shirt over his head, revealing his torso to me for the second time. Broad shoulders with a hint of muscle in his upper arms and chest leading to his soft belly. I bite my lip to stop myself smiling so much at the sight.

“Then I guess I better step up my game a little.” His cute smile shifting to a more debonair smirk. “I’m not aiming for just good.”

His confidence sends tingles through me as his mouth meets my breasts for the first time. I gasp and giggle, almost feeling the smile on his face as his teases my nipples. If there’s one thing I know about this boy, it’s that he’s true to his word and that thought is very exciting. His hand massages my free left boob while his tongue swirls around my right nipple.

I drag my nails along his shoulders gently, up his neck and into his hair. He plants his hand into the mattress, moving his whole body down the bed, kissing my stomach all the way down to my…

“W-w-wait!” I thrust my hands out, trying to grab hold of his broad shoulders but only succeeding in planting them firmly either side of Taro’s head. His face snaps towards mine but I can’t quite meet his gaze. I didn’t think this through…

“I’m… I’m still… wearing my…” My eyes flutter between his face and the waistband of my jeans, almost guiltily. I’d gotten so used to wearing my incontinence underwear that I’d forgotten I’d worn them today like I did when I last met Mother. Good thing I did because seeing my Father was pretty surprising but I managed to hold myself together, thankfully.

Taro follows my eyeline then looks back with some understanding. “Ah. Do you want to…?” I nod, embarrassed. He sits back on his knees, thoughtfully allowing me space.

“Would you prefer if I looked away?” Taro asks, giving me pause as I unbutton my jeans. I know Taro doesn’t judge me for wearing them, he’s already seen far worse, but I don’t think I’m quite ready for him to actually see me wearing them; no matter how discreet they are.

“Y-Yes… Please…” I mutter and Taro turns his head, closing his eyes for good measure. Such a sweetheart. I pull my jeans down, followed by my actual underwear and then the diaper. I bunch them all in my fingers and remove them all at once, twisting my body so I can throw them onto the floor; my jeans, socks, and underwear purposely obscuring the incontinence underwear at the bottom of the pile.

“I’m, uh, finished, Taro…” I whisper, laying back and covering my nudity with my hands. I’ve never been fully nude with another person and I’m feeling very vulnerable after that embarrassing interlude. Taro peaks at me with one eye before turn his attention to me fully. He smiles down at me, leaning over my nude form to kiss me gently on the lips.

“You’re beautiful, Saki.” He says softly, the sincerity of his words filling me with confidence again. “Do you want me to keep going?”

I taste him on my lips before nodding, blushing like crazy. He nods in response and kisses down my body again, a little quicker now there’s no barrier. I watch his head venture further and further south until he reaches my hips. His face slips between my opening legs and I see his eyes just past my pubic hair.

He looks directly at me, silently asking permission as he breathes against my privates. I gulp and nod. His eyes close and his lips meet mine in an all-new way. I gasp and quiver all over at this foreign sensation. No one’s ever done for me before and I suddenly remember my incontinence.

“W-wait! Doaaaaah~!” I cry out as I feel his wet tongue slide against my even wetter pussy. Whatever concerns I had about the smell or taste fall away as Taro begins licking and sucking at my pussy, his mouth and tongue exploring places only my fingers have before.

God damn… Shura definitely never did this for me. I gasp and moan while my limbs try to find something to do, unable to settle in any position before a fresh wave of pleasure sends them into spasm. My breath becomes more ragged as my body grinds against his face involuntarily. Not that I think Taro minds one bit. I bet he’s smiling down there…

I hold onto one of my boobs while my other hand runs through Taro’s thick black hair, gripping it when a new shock of delight erupts through me. Every successive wave feels more-and-more amazing but when I feel a finger slide inside me and do a curl over my g-spot… It feels like fireworks.

The repeated stroking of my insides and the licking of my clitoris; attacking my most sensitive spots simultaneously… I squeal with delight as my whole body convulses; a wave of euphoria crashing over me like a bucket of hot water, warmth spreading through every inch of my shaking body while my mind drowns in a whirlpool of dopamine.

A hearty chuckle emits from between my legs. I manage to get my eyes to focus enough to see Taro emerge, wiping his mouth and damp lower jaw. “I’m gonna guess you enjoyed that.”

My arms are shaky as I sit up on my elbows. I nod, breathing heavy, and probably wearing the dopiest, most astonished smile. “Bwuh-huh!”

“Oh god, I broke you.” Taro snorts as I paw at his shoulders, trying to draw him closer. He gets the hint, crawling up the bed and allowing me to wrap myself around him with my arms and legs, dragging him back as I smother his slightly damp face with kisses.

“Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” I hold him tight against me, nestling into his shoulder as I bask in the afterglow. Wow.

“You’re welcome.” He says quietly, wrapping his arm under me. That was… Words. So many good words. Wow.

---

~Fuuka~

I can’t hide my excitement as Jiro positions himself between my legs; his whole hog all dressed up with someplace to go.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” I purr, feeling the whole length of his dick rub against my clit. Jiro smirks and grinds against me a little slower. “But you’re a fucking tease!”

“We’re really gonna have to do something about that mouth of yours.”

“You weren’t complaining five minutes ago.” I press my tongue into my cheek as I grin; knowing he loved our pre-game sixty-nine. “Now are you gonna kneel there looking pretty all night or you gonnaaaaahhh~!”

My challenge is cut-off with a long, slow insertion. I peek down to see the slender dick disappear inside me and I squirm with joy. I’ve been dying to get him inside me for weeks and now I finally get what I want.

“Look who’s suddenly a little more civil.” Jiro playfully teases as he withdraws and reinserts with the same long, slow stroke. “Is this all it took to keep you quiet?”

“Keep going like that - mmmf - and I’m not going to stay quiet - hahhh - for long.” I breathe huskily at him.

He leans all the way over me as he continues his slow, methodical thrusts. Our eyes lock, his smug face watching my reactions, every gasp and moan. Our hot, breath-y grunts increase with his pace. His grip on my thighs tightens.

I grab the back of Jiro’s neck and wrench it forward so I can French him deep, our tongues wrestling awkwardly as he tries to focus on his rhythm. His next thrust reaches further than before and hits just the right spot for me to release him and cry out loudly.

I clamp my hand over my mouth and there’s a beat of silence where we both realise how loud that was, our fucking halted for the moment as an uncontrollable fit of giggles overtake us.

“Geez, Fuuka!” Jiro whisper-laughs as I snicker. My neighbours are going to give me some dirty looks tomorrow but it wouldn’t be the first time. Jiro’s laughter dies down and he closes his eyes, moaning slightly.

“Man, I never thought being inside a girl while she’s laughing would actually feel good…” His voice shudders slightly.

“Nothing gets my motor running like a tight five.” I smirk, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him back slightly. “Help me turn over…”

He slides back a little, laying my limp legs straight before straddling them. He guides my hips as I twist my torso, rolling me over so I’m laying on my front, my hips raised slightly thanks to one of my plumper pillows.

I reach back and separate my ass cheeks, revealing my pussy for him. He takes the hint and slides himself back inside as I suppress a loud moan with another pillow.

“Oh shit, that’s the spot!” My muffled encouragement doesn’t fall on deaf ears and he soon builds back up to his previous pace. The shape of him is hitting aaaall the right spots in this position!

I scream into the pillow, feeling the weight of him against me as he grabs my waist tight. The wet slap of flesh meeting flesh, Jiro’s low growls synced with his rapid jack-hammering and my own muffled screams of ecstasy fill the room.

“Yougettingclose?” Jiro lets out a horny, frustrated grunt and I’m too busy moaning through a second orgasm to say anything but holding two fingers up seems to give him the idea. With a chuckle under his breath, he rapid-fires a few more thrusts into me before slamming against my backside with a definitive final thrust.

I feel a warm pressure inside me, along with a couple more juddering thrusts that tips me over into a third. I arch my back and let my euphoria be known to the whole world before collapsing forward onto the bed.

I feel a shiver run up Jiro’s spine through our connection before he pulls out, falling onto this side next to me. We’re hot, sweaty, and breathing hard but as I turn my head to watch him remove the condom, he flashes me a smile.

“You good?” He asks and I nod, my lips curling into a smile.

“Not as good as you…”

He lets out a little snort of amusement, finishes tying a knot and flings the used condom into my bedside trash bin. He opens his arms and I nestle into them, cosy and content.

---

~Hisao~

“I think that’s right. Does it look right to you?” Rika asks, tilting her head back and forth as she sits on her knees, straddling my legs. She critically analyses her handiwork; my now condom-wrapped penis as it points up my body.

“I think so… It feels pretty snug.” I observe, rolling my fingers down my shaft and testing the tightness of the hem. It hasn’t rolled back up and doesn’t feel loose so I think it’s fine.

“Good! Then we can…” She grins, crawling up my body on all fours.

“Are you sure you want to be on top?” I ask Rika, who is moving one of her legs up while taking hold of me.

“I mean, if you’d rather…” She stops and looks at me, a little twinge of debate on her face.

“No, no, I… Go ahead when you’re ready.” I give up trying to be cool in any way and Rika giggles, placing a hand on my chest. Right over my scar.

“Okay, Hisao, brace yourself.” Rika nods, shifting her weight a little and allowing the tip of my penis into her entrance. Her eyebrows rise slightly as she adjusts a little. I hold out my hands, which she grips daintily, before slowly lowering herself.

We both gasp at the sensations we’re feeling. Her enveloping me, me entering her, new sensations on both ends and we look at each other as we take in the feelings. It’s odd, like nothing I’ve ever felt. Our handhold remains intact as Rika rotates her hips, grinding against me as she savours the feeling, her lips pursed with a curious expression.

“Okay, that’s… That feels good.” Rika huffs, a smile spreading across her face. “Weird ‘cause it’s like a thicker, longer finger but really good!”

“You feel amazing.” I say, unsure what else I can say to describe what I’m feeling.

Rika takes the compliment and uses my connected hands as leverage to rock back and forth. Our reactions are immediate as new waves of pleasure hit us. No more words cross our lips as our hips find a rhythm that suits us both and our hands find other places to grab and grope.

My hands hold her hips and she holds my arms in turn, riding in a slow but purposeful motion, like she’s trying to wear me down. Grind me into dust beneath her but some primal part of me matches her movements, fights back against it. Grinds against her, trying to wear her down.

A battle to wear each other down into ecstatic submission. One versus one. Her moans are slight, as they usually are. More in her throat than coming out of her mouth. My hands wander to her chest and an excited gasp escapes her lips. Her hips go wild as I massage her breasts, her nipples jamming into my palms.

“You okay, mmm, down there?” Rika opens her eyes again and the lustful, piercing gaze is something to behold.

“Feeling good, yeah. You?” I nod before throwing the question back at her. Rika smirks and leans forward, her body pressing down on my as she pins my arms down. Our noses touch for the briefest second before she kisses me deeply, a passionate dance of tongues and moans. Her lustful breath hits my face as she breaks away.

“That answer your question?”

I feel my heart skip a beat at the gorgeous girl on top of me. Her hands plant themselves along my torso and she really starts to ride me. She closes her eyes as each grind becomes quicker and harder. Our breathing is almost in sync as we let animalistic lust takeover, savouring the feelings that are overwriting all rational thought.

And then my heart skips another beat followed by a chilling twinge in my chest. No, no, no, no. Please, not now!

“R-Rika!” I murmur as the edges of my vision quickly darken. “Wai-”

---

~Saki~

I take hold of Taro’s sweaty face, his eyes locked onto mine as I grind against his thick cock. God, he’s so big. Convincing him to let me stick it in raw took more convincing than I thought it would but it was worth it. I don’t think this would feel nearly as good with a barrier between us.

Our physical and emotional states laid bare and naked to each other. In this moment; it’s the most open and honest I have ever been with another person and I’m so, so happy it’s him. This is so much better than anything before. It’s real.

“Look at me, Taro.” I whimper as every nerve ending inside me is excited by him, still tingling from his earlier deeds. “Tell me this is real.”

“What?” He’s taken aback at my question but I only hold his face tighter. “Saki, are you crying?”

“Just tell me this is real.” I beg, moaning as I approach my climax. “Pleeease.”

“It’s real, Saki. You and me. Really, really real.” He grunts his answer and I wrap my arms around his shoulders, fingernails digging into his soft flesh. It’s real. It’s-

“Ohhhh fuck!” I scream into his shoulder. His strong hand holds my lower back in place while my body convulses and spasms wildly. He tilts forward to lay me on my back once more and continues thrusting into me as my pussy hungrily pulses for more pleasure.

When I feel his thumb on my clit again - holy fuck I love when he does that - I realise I’ve lost count on how many times I’ve came. All I know is that we’ve made a real mess of my sheets.

“I’m close, Saki. Where do-” Taro doesn’t get to finish his thought before I answer, wrapping my legs around him as best I can. Between the numbness in my legs and his size, I can’t lock him in place but I tell him what I want in no uncertain terms.

“Cum in me, Taro!” I demand in a growl, gripping his forearms in a vice grip as I feel another orgasm quickly build at the thought.

“Saki!” I can feel the bass in his growling my name reverberate all through his body and into mine, accompanied by a flood of warmth. I throw my head back to scream, only to find broken squeaks of joy emitting as I quiver and shake, and then collapse fully into my bed.

Taro thrusts a couple more times, twinges of his own orgasm subsiding as he shrinks out of me. The absence I feel is immediate and sad in a way but the pressure of his large body pressing me into the mattress is a nice alternative. There is a cold damp patch from earlier right between my shoulder blades but I could give less of a fuck about that right now as I’m enveloped in Taro’s warm embrace.

“That was… That was great, Saki, damn…” Taro huskily breathes into my ear as he wraps his arm around me. I cling to him, to the truest, realest expression of… of anything… I’ve had in a long time. “Are you okay? You were crying.”

“If I made you cum as many times as you made me; you’d be crying too, okay?” I half-joke, kissing his cheek appreciatively.

“I’m sorry, I guess?” He laughs a little nervously, squeezing me tighter.

“You better not be, mister!” I pinch his side playfully, sending his whole body jerking sideways.

“Ah! Ah! I’m ticklish!” He protests in a girlishly high pitch. Okay, I’ll have to remember that because that’s just too cute. I breathe a heavy sigh and pull his face into view. I give him a quick, thankful kiss on the lips with a genuine smile.

“Seriously, Taro; thank you. That was… More than I could have imagined.” I admit with a flustered exhale. “I… I honestly didn’t think it’d be…”

“I may have gone a little overboard trying to impress you…” Taro sheepishly replies, his flush skin not really changing much.

“You didn’t need to… But consider me very impressed.” I yawn unintentionally as I stretch out. Taro sits back on his knees, wiping his brow and stretching his own back out.

“I think we ought to clean up a bit before you fall asleep. Probably need to get some fluids in you too.”

“I already diiiid~!” I tease in a sing-song voice, spreading my legs for effect, but Taro bats them closed again with a chuckle.

“Water, you idiot. You’re probably super-dehydrated.”

“Oh, definitely, but it’s your fault so you need to go downstairs to the vending machine.”

“With great power, etc, etc…” He rolls his eyes, sliding to the edge of the bed to find his clothes. I lean across his broad back and plant another thankful kiss on his cheek.

---

~Rika~

Pulse is normal, breathing stable, but still out for the count. Textbook syncope. I made sure Hisao was okay as soon as I realised what was happening, it’s just a waiting game now. With the immediate concern subsiding, I’m starting to feel more than a little disappointed. I know its a little rich coming from me but I was hoping he’d be able to go the distance.

I sigh, shaking the thought from my head. Sure it wasn’t the best way to end a night and certainly not what I wanted but at least he’s okay. We both are. That’s what counts, right?

I undo my hairclips and shake out the matted mess before taking a brush to it. It’s only when I start to put my hair into a messy ponytail that I see Hisao stir in the corner of my eye.

“Rika?” Hisao mumbles, eyes flickering open and adjusting to the dimmer light than when he passed out. “Rika, are you there?”

“I’m here, senpai.” I finish tying up my hair and then lie next to him, draping an arm across his chest. “You passed out but you’re alright now.”

Hisao frowns, frantically glancing at me, down my body, and then to his own naked body. I removed the condom and threw it away; it just looked sad, all shrunken and wrinkled around his floppy dick.

“O-oh…” The realisation hits him and I nuzzle his shoulder. He’s going to take this personal if I don’t reassure him.

“It’s okay, Hisao. We had a big evening. The odds were even that it could have been me.” I try to reassure him but I know his guilty expression all too well. He’s already blaming himself.

“Yeah, I guess… Still, I’m sorry.” He slides up a little and puts his arm around me while I reach over and pull the duvet across us both. I yawn, the fatigue of the day and evening catching up to me, giving me an excuse to cuddle up with Hisao.

“Don’t worry so much, Hisao. There’s always next time.”

[hdkv]

Oh. Oooh. Ooooooooooh.

With the birth of the Horny persona…

As someone who was recently converted into Persona fans, I was really pleased with the title and YA announce image.

50% of raw hotness, 40% of laughter, 10% of Hisao ticker giving up in the most unwelcome moment. Success rate is 66% kek.

Also:

I see his eyes just past my pubic hair

…and then no pubic hair in the image xD

Now, that we've got our yearly dose of the pron, time to wait for serious story again xD Thanks!

[Sharp-O]

50% of raw hotness, 40% of laughter, 10% of Hisao ticker giving up in the most unwelcome moment. Success rate is 66% kek.

Porn, puns, and being unfair to Hisao is my whole brand

I see his eyes just past my pubic hair

…and then no pubic hair in the image xD

It's there; Saki is blonde so it's quite light.

[hdkv]

It's there; Saki is blonde so it's quite light.

Ah, it's just me being blind, sorry xD Yep, now noticed it when you pointed it out.

[Sharp-O]

I don’t sleep. Not well, anyway. Not in any way that you could consider restful. I should be on cloud nine, lying in bed with my girlfriend after a wonderful date and a night of love-making.

But that’s not what happened, is it?

Even now things feel off. I can’t tell if it’s the guilt of fainting during sex or the anxiety of it repeating if I tried again. Even Rika clinging to my torso, snoozing contently, feels off. Her core, her naked torso, is toasty and warm but her hands and feet are cold. The kind of cold wear you can’t quite tell if something is damp or not.

She says she feels fine whenever I bring it up but that can’t be good. I never had that with my arrhythmia… Though I suppose we’re about as different as we can get so why wouldn’t our conditions - while the same - be different too?

I sleep in fits and starts for a few more hours until it dawns on me that I never took my medication last night. I peek through the darkness toward Rika’s bookcase, where she keeps her medication. No, our doses are different and after last night, I don’t want to risk any more problems.

I carefully fold my half of her duvet across hers and gently lift her arm off of me. Free of her grip, I slip down the length of her bed to sit at the foot of her bed. I roll my neck and shoulders then rub my face. I push against my knees and rise, turning to fold the duvet back over the rest of the bed.

I don’t know how long I just stand there watching Rika sleep but I know that it’s long enough that if she woke up, it’d be awkward. I study her content face, her natural breathing, how comfortable she looks and how that contrasts to me, standing in the dark, unable to be any of those things.

I shake my head a little, trying to clear those thoughts while I skulk around in the dim light of approaching dawn. My underwear and socks are the first things to be put on, and then I go about retrieving the clothes I borrowed from Akio. I try to keep the noise to a minimum but as I buckle my belt up, I realise I didn’t do a good enough job.

“Hisao? Where are you going?” The sudden voice in the dark shocks me. I breathe a quick sigh when I see Rika peering through the darkness at me.

“S-sorry! I didn’t mean to wake you!” I feel guilty about sneaking around but I think I’d feel worse for waking her, even though I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what I did.

“It’s okay. What are you doing?”

I make my excuses but Rika simply silences me as I ramble on like I was caught doing something I shouldn’t. The feeling of her finger on my lips is weirdly reassuring…

“I get it, I get it. I just wish I could cuddle some more before you had to go.” Now I feel really guilty… I gently stroke her hair and ease her down onto her back.

“Me too but I’ll catch you later, okay?” I whisper as she yawns. She nods and pulls the duvet tight around her.

“Okay, senpai… Love you…”

I gaze down at the wonderful girl for a few more seconds before turning my attention to my phone on the night stand. As I reach for it, I notice the open drawer. The non-descript white box of condoms lies in plain sight with its flap open, a torn open foil wrapper stuffed back into it. Fresh shame washes over me.

I reach in to close the box when something else catches my attention; a slip of paper with my name on it that I’d filed away in the back of my mind. In fairness; I had more important priorities at the time but now… I pull the paper free of the drawer, noticing two more just like it underneath. I look at the folded, lined paper that bears my name curiously.

I open my mouth, instinctively wanting to ask Rika what this is but a soft snort and a moan as she turns to face the wall stops me. I look between Rika and the paper before slipping it into my pocket, my curiosity overwhelming any other instinct.

Making my exit quickly after, I take care not to disturb Rika or any of her floor-mates as I creep through the halls. At the bottom of the stairs, I hear the front doors open and close. Someone else sneaking out at the break of dawn? Reaching the same exit, I peek through the glass windows, looking for any sign of life - specifically the night guards. If I’m lucky; they might already be occupied with whoever left before me so I take my chances and head out.

I get back into my dorm room with no issue and take my medication the moment I do. I feel a little less anxious about that now but then there’s this… Letter? My fingers slide under the first fold, teasing it open as my morning alarm begins to blare, scaring me enough to let it go from my grasp.

I huff with annoyance and retrieve the letter from the floor before silencing the alarm. I place the letter on my desk and rub my eyes. The lack of sleep isn’t helping my general unease but hopefully a shower and a talk with the Doctor will… Yesterday’s clothes are thrown aside while I organise my thoughts and my bathroom things.

I shower and change into my uniform in record time because the last thing I need is to deal with Kenji this morning… I get my clothes ready to be laundered after class before I lock my door and head over to the medical wing.

---

How am I going to talk to the Doctor about this? Last time we had anything approaching a frank conversation about sex, I thought I’d invert myself with cringe. Plus there’s the whole thing about him knowing Rika’s mom… No, he can’t talk to Rui about it, there’s a whole oath that says he can’t. I’m pretty confident that’d fall under ‘first do no harm’, at the very least.

Won’t stop him from razzing me about it though…

I wave to Emi, clocking her on her way back from her morning run. Maybe if I’d continued with that routine, I’d have gone the distance last night… Kind of weird to think that another girl would be the solution to my current girl problems.

“Come in!” The Doctor’s voice beckons me to enter his office after a few knocks. The man stands at his desk, sipping coffee and typing one-handed. He peeks over the mug at me before gulping hard.

“Good morning, Nakai! I don’t think I’ve seen you here this early since your first week. How’re things?” His warm and friendly attitude is actually welcome this morning as I scratch the back of my head.

“If they were good, I don’t think I’d be bothering you…” I mutter, sheepishly.

“Ah, no one ever comes here just to say hello…” Doc closes his eyes, pouting, before opening one eye with a smirk. “Kidding, Nakai, and you’re never a bother. How can I help?”

He gestures toward a familiar-looking stool and I take my spot as he pulls the stethoscope from around his neck.

“I had a syncope episode last night and thought it’d be best to talk to you as soon as possible.” I explain as the Doc listens to my chest for his opening act.

“Hm, at least you are taking things seriously.” I hear him mutter under his breath, like he was quietly cursing another student. I follow his instructions of when to breathe in-and-out while he interrogates me further.

“And what were you were doing when this happened?”

“I, um… I was…” I blush and avert my eyes out of embarrassment. “I was having sex.”

“I see…” The Doc says flatly but in that slow, knowing way your parents do when you admit you did something you shouldn’t have. He slings the stethoscope around his neck while pulling his rolling stool towards him with his foot. “And the person you were with; are they okay?”

I fully expected that follow-up, especially the vagueness. It must be hard to listen to this kind of thing when you’re a family friend. At the very least, he’s keeping it professional.

“She actually took care of me. Made sure I was okay and basically did what you’re doing now.” I can’t help but chuckle and the Doc, mercifully, finds the humour in it too. “But I figured I ought to get your opinion.”

“Well, your pulse and heart rate seem to be normal. Was there any other complications from this… exercise?” He chooses his words carefully but intent is clear.

“I didn’t want to risk passing out again… Or worse so… I went to sleep. Tried to at the very least.”

“Restless sleep?”

“Yes, sir. I think I got maybe four or five hours but it was intermittent.” The Doctor nods with understanding, taking another sip of coffee while I sit there awkwardly.

“I can imagine you had a certain amount of anxiety after an event like that… If you feel you need a couple more hours rest; you’re more than welcome to take a bed.” He offers his hand towards one of the curtained off beds and I consider it before shaking my head.

“Tempting but I think I’ll be fine once I get some caffeine.”

“Coffee is a band-aid compared to a few good hours sleep. If you feel weak or like you’re going to pass out, come here immediately. I’ll make sure you have a good excuse.”

“Thanks…”

“In any case, it’s not unusual for this sort of thing to happen and there’s no shame in that. You’re still relatively new to your condition so any new activity can be a roll of the dice on how your body will react. I think this is something that you will have to discuss with your partner if you intend to try again.” The Doctor continues as he pulls out my medical folder and begins to make notes.

“I know… It was just… It’s kinda lame that it happened at all.” I grumble.

“I understand your feelings but if you communicate and take things slow, I think that this will end up just being another funny little anecdote for your relationship.” He smirks but it’s in that way that supposed to be comforting and warm. “Is there anything else you’re worried about?”

I shake my head initially before I think back to Rika and begin to weave an elaborate tale of noticing how my hands can get colder sometimes. The Doctor tilts his head up, as if being pulled by his elevating eyebrow. He’d handled my arms while checking my pulse so I’m pretty sure he knows I’m not talking about myself.

“It might be a circulation problem as a result of your medication. Has it been going on for long?”

“N-Not really. A-And it’s not all the t-time. Just when I haven’t really done anything with my hands in a while.” I lie to the best of my ability. The Doctor nods then slides over to his desk, retrieving a pamphlet from the myriad in his drawer.

“Here. These are some wrist exercises I recommend to students with chronic issues with their hands. They generally help with circulation and tension so they should help.”

I take the pamphlet and nod in thanks. I guess this could be useful… I thank the Doctor for his time and he reiterates that I’m welcome to rest in the nurse’s office for a couple hours if I need it. I leave, squeezing my eyes tight then blinking them open a couple times when I enter the morning sun. That’s certainly not helping the tired burning sensation in my eyes and the dull ache in the back of my head…

I head back up to my room, each step getting progressively more sluggish. If the lack of sleep wasn’t bad enough, the anxiety comedown is making my tiredness worse. I fall forward with a huff, satisfied to lie on my own bed again, even if it’s just for half-an-hour before classes really start.

I just need a couple minutes… And I’ll be good to go…

---

The crumpling sound and scratching edge of folded paper wakes me… Much later than I expected. God damn it! I bolt upright, scrambling to reach my phone and check the time. I’ve missed most of the morning’s lessons! Mutou’s going to give me detention, I just know it… And I have a couple messages from my friends…

[Yo, dude! Rika didn’t drain you like a sink, did she? Where are you? Let me know if you need an alibi!] Akio is the latest and the most direct. I dread to think what he came up with without any input… The next latest is Molly.

[Hope you’re okay, mate! Rika’s been looking for you. Message her, yeah?]

And then one from Rika, from just before classes would have started…

[Hey Senpai, hope Doc didn’t give you a hard time this morning! Let me know if you’re free for lunch!]

Where do I even start? Can’t exactly tell her that I slept through the morning’s lessons because then she’ll ask why and then I’ll have to tell her because I couldn’t sleep and she’ll ask why and it’ll be a whole thing that I really don’t want to deal with right now…

I toss my phone onto my bed and rub my face. The sleep barely helped and now I’ve just got more problems to deal with. I would say it’s amazing how quickly things can spiral into disaster but having a heart attack after being confessed to tends to put most things into perspective.

My eyes drift to the item that brought me back to reality. I pull the paper towards me as my mind begins to race with every possibility. A confession, a break-up letter, the guide to Pokémon IVs and EVs she said she was going to explain to me? I slowly unfold the three parts and take a deep breath as I begin to read.

Dear Hisao,

I’ve written four or five versions of this stupid letter, trying to find the right words to make what I’m about to say easier, but there’s probably nothing easy about reading this from where you’re sitting so let’s just start with the obvious; I’m dead.

Oh… My blood runs cold as I realise what I’m holding in my hand. I shouldn’t read any further… I shouldn’t.

But I do.

Out of all the bad outcomes, I think this is probably the best. I certainly don't want to be a vegetable in a coma or to somehow end up with a worse condition. Quick and clean, relatively speaking. That's probably hard to hear right now but you know me; ever the pragmatist.

I’m gonna write one of these for Mom and Fuuka too so they know how much I loved them as well but I wanted to write yours first because it’s the hardest and because I know how you get hung-up on things and make a whole big thing about stuff that’s out of your control.

Is that how she sees me? At the end of the day, at the end of her life - that’s what she thinks?

I hope you’re okay. As okay as you can be all things considered. I wanted to write this down before I went in for the procedure so you had some sense of closure if the worst happened. Really make sure there’s no doubt in your mind what I want for you now that I’m gone.

I started this journey with you because I saw someone who was struggling with his condition. I never thought I'd end up falling in love with you, let alone having to write this letter. Is it weird to say I'm glad of both? A chance to fall in love and a chance to help you one last time.

I feel a sinking in my gut, like a heavy stone is pulling my insides down. Like when I first read Iwanako’s letter… All those old feelings stir inside me. The sadness, the confusion, the anger…

You’re valid in your grief, make no mistake about that, but what I want most for you right now is to move on. I don’t expect that to be easy for you to accept but don’t mourn me forever… That totally feels like something you’d do if I didn’t explicitly tell you not to. I’m giving you permission - hell, I’m outright telling you - to live your life without me.

Move on…? Telling me… To move on…?

We don’t get to choose when we go so make sure you enjoy what you get. I know I have and you were a big part of that. So do me a favour and live unafraid and with all your heart. Every day, for however long it lasts, be the Hisao Nakai I know you can be.

Be brilliant, be loved, and be present, senpai.

Love, Rika.

I sit with the letter in my hand for a long time, just staring at it, trying to form a cogent thought while my mind swirls with a hundred questions at a hundred miles an hour.

What the hell? Why did I read this? What is the point of this? Why did I keep reading? How come Rika never told me about this? What am I supposed to say to her? Why… Just why?

I fold the letter back up and put it on my night stand, wringing my hands as if to rid myself of the feeling of holding it and, maybe, the feelings I now have. I stare at it, laying there on my bedside table, like it will answer any of my questions.

The weight of my own maudlin thoughts and questions seem to make the room shrink, the quiet, stale air become a vacuum, and it all becomes too much to bear as I rush for the door.

I need to get out of here. I need space.

---

With classes in session, it’s not a brilliant idea for me to go wandering too much and it’s so close to lunch that there’s no point in me actually going to class. Not that I’d have a good excuse or be able to concentrate.

So I end up in the one place I know will be empty and where I can breathe a little easier; the library. A quiet sanctuary for introspection where I can try to organise my thoughts. Hopefully.

I should be surprised when I see a familiar figure sitting in the quietest back corner of the library but I’m not. If anything, it’s strangely reassuring to see Hanako Ikezawa sitting on her preferred bean bag, reading quietly to herself. The shuffling of my shoes make her eyes flitter up toward me. A look of surprise and then a small smile greets me.

“H-hello, Hisao.” Hanako quietly says, nodding. “H-How are you?”

“I’m… Okay, Hanako. Just looking for some peace and quiet.” I offer, taking a spot I have before.

“I c-can g-”

“No, don’t go on my account.” I hold my hand out but quickly retract it. “I just want to sit in the quiet if that’s alright with you?”

Hanako considers my words for a moment before nodding in understanding and returning to her book. I loll my head back and close my eyes, focusing on the quiet hum of the air conditioner and the gentle shuffle of pages being turned.

I find Hanako’s presence… Nice. Weirdly comforting. Like when we talked in Rika’s room.

“What are you reading, Hanako?” I ask into the air, mostly to be polite.

“It’s, um, a light n-novel called Book Girl. It’s ab-about a y-yokai in a l-literature club.” She answers and I’m sort of intrigued.

“Sounds interesting. Is it yours or the schools?”

“It’s m-mine.”

“You’ll have to let me know how much you like it when you finish it.” I say, nestling further into the beanbag.

“Why aren’t y-you in cl-class, Hisao?”

“My own stupidity, honestly. What about you; why aren’t you in class?”

“I h-had a p-panic attack. Akio w-was helping me and I k-kinda freaked out over nothing… I’m g-gonna apologise l-later.”

“Sorry to hear that but I’m sure Akio won’t hold it against you.”

“N-No, he w-won’t… B-But I sh-shouldn’t m-make my fr-friends worry about me.” She says quietly and I hope the beanbag will swallow me whole. We go back to our respective activities; Hanako reading silently while my mind screams every bone-headed decision I’ve ever made.

Hanako’s right. I should know better than to be acting this way. If I’ve learned anything from my time here; it’s that there is no shortage of people who will forgive my mistakes and I should be willing to do the same. I’m sure Rika will have had a good reason not to tell me about that letter and I guess I understand why she wrote it.

I do get stuck in my own head. Today is a prime example of that! Because I didn’t talk about what happened last night; I lost sleep. Because I lost sleep; I missed classes. Because I’m an idiot; I’m sitting here next to a friend, not talking about my problems.

I open my eyes and go to speak only to find Hanako slipping on her backpack. She turns to look at me and finds me staring at her. She flinches but manages to paint on a smile and point to the clock.

“Lunch is almost o-over, Hisao. I n-need to g-grab something t-to eat.”

Not a lot of time to get into it with Hanako, after all… “No worries. I’ll catch you later.”

She nods and skips off while I crawl out of the comfort of my seat. I stretch my back and look around the empty library. Seems like Yuuko is out to lunch too.

So what now, Hisao? Gonna wallow some more or are you gonna grab some food and then head to class? I nod to myself, determined to face the consequences for this self-indulgent malaise. I stride out of the library and toward the nearest vending machine so I can scarf down something quick.

There’s a small group from the track team around the vending machines as I hurry to pick out a protein bar and an energy drink and it’s only after I turn around with my goods that I realise Jiro is amongst them. His eyes look surprised to see me and he launches himself to a standing position using his blade leg.

“Hisao! Dude! Where ya been?” He greets with a smile and a slap on the shoulder. “I had to listen to the girls in stereo this morning, I was hoping you’d be my bro back-up!”

“Sorry, I had to go to the nurse’s office this morning for a quick check-up so I missed out on breakfast.” I admit. Jiro’s eyebrows furl slightly in concern.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, it’s kind of embarrassing but… I had a syncope attack last night. The Doctor gave me the all-clear this morning so I just have to watch what I’m doing.”

“Syncope? Is that like a whiteout? Like what Rika has?” Jiro asks and I nod.

“Yeah… Luckily she hasn’t had one since her surgery.”

“Really? I swear Fuuka said she had…” Jiro strokes his chin in thought as I stare at him. His expression shifts dramatically when he notices mine. “Ehhh, y’know what? I must be thinking of before the surgery.”

Jiro and Fuuka weren’t dating back then so why would she talk about that? I lean into Jiro’s space and he leans back instinctively.

“When did Fuuka say Rika’s whiteout happened?”

“I c-can’t r-really remember…” Jiro scratches his cheek nervously while avoiding eye contact with me.

“Jiro… Back-up your bro. When did Rika have a whiteout?”

“I don’t know, man, honest! I just know Fuuka told me about it the same day she started classes again!” Jiro holds his hands up defensively and I frown in confusion. That was the day after Rika came back… I step back as Jiro sighs.

“Hey, I might be getting stuff mixed up. I’m sure Rika would’ve told you if something happened, right?” He tries to be reassuring but it just leaves me with more questions… She would tell me; wouldn’t she?

“Yeah, she would.” I say, flatly as I turn away.

“Uh, good seeing you, Hisao! Catch you later?” He calls out to me but I’m already heading away from the school building and back to the dorms. “Shit….”

---

My chest heaves as I close my door and I pace back-and-forth. One lingering question consuming my mind as I think back on every time I asked how she was over the past couple weeks; she would tell me, wouldn’t she?

Every time she snapped back at me for being mindful, for being considerate, was she lying? Has she been struggling this entire time and refusing to acknowledge it? Or was it to protect her pride? Because she’s always acted like the authority when it comes to our heart conditions.

Questions upon questions swirl in my mind as I reach for my phone that I left on the bed. One new message from Rika. [Going to lunch alone because I can’t find you (ಥ﹏ಥ)] Damn it… I’m making her worried.

What am I thinking? I should be worried! She’s hiding things from me and I was right! She’s been struggling and lying about it! I toss my phone and open up her letter again, staring a hole through it. And then there’s this! She didn’t tell me about this before she went into the hospital!

I feel a twinge in my chest and drop the letter, sitting down just as quickly. Okay, calm it down. I’m getting worked up and that’s not helping. No matter how right I am. Just breathe. Breathe, Hisao.

I lie on my back, close my eyes, and focus on my breathing exercises to calm my anxious heart while my head aches.

Too many thoughts, too many emotions. In my own head. Just like she said.

---

I wake, for the second time today, unsure of the time. My rumbling gut tells me I’ve missed the rest of the day and I’m relatively right. Feeling groggy and ashamed, I rise and look at my phone. School day is almost over… Well done, Hisao.

I devour the protein bar I bought earlier and crack open the now-warm energy drink. What the hell am I going to do? I know what I should do but I don’t know if I’m in the right mind to even begin to talk to Rika. Then there’s explaining to Mutou why I’ve missed a whole day of classes without anything approaching a good reason.

Oh, you’re having an emotional crisis? Of course, it’s fine! Not. Can’t wait for that conversation… But I’d rather deal with that than Rika and she’s my biggest concern. How do I accuse her of hiding things when I’ve basically been hiding away in my room all day?

Well, there’s no new messages from her… Do I take that as her being angry? Did she just get too busy?

Nope, no more questions! I can’t sit here in my room asking asinine questions I can’t answer; that’s how I ended up right here in the first place. The only one with answers is Rika and, like it or not, the only way I’m going to get them…

Is to ask her.

[hdkv]

Keeping secrets from your partner is the best way to ruin relationship. And both Hisao and Rika are veeeeery proficient in that.

Looking forward to the next chapter, thank you!

[Alex FRD]

Because I’m an idiot

That right there is the cause of 99% of Hisao's problems. We love you, Nakai, but goddamn.