Siphonata's One Stop Shot (Fan-Fics)

[Siphonata]

I figure that its only a good idea to have a singular thread for me to post any standalone fan-fics and shorter ones, because it'd useful to nip any potential problems in the bud in regards to organization lest it become a problem later down the line. Additionally, longer fan-fics will be an exception and will be in their own threads instead of this one unless the mods say otherwise.
As to be expected, my fan-fics tend to be on the crackier side of things, and some may contain +18 content though not everything I write will content smut the likes of which you've never seen.

== List of Fanfics ==

• Transcendence (+18): A Shizune x Kenji crack-fic taking place after a successful date...

• Trial of Fire (+18): Hisao's fateful visit to Shizune's house ends with a trial of fire in this blazing scorcher of a one-shot!

• Kenji goes to the Katawa Shoujo Forums (+16 - SFW): Kenji decides to take a short trip to one of his favourite forums and leaves feeling inspired...

== Fanfic with their own threads ==

• Hisao's No Nut November (+18): After several years of losing No Nut November, Hisao decides that he'll whatever it takes to win the Infinite Nut Pass. However, his rival Kenji Setou intends to make Hisao nut and take the Infinite Nut Pass for himself, but will he win? Find out for yourself!

EDIT (01/11/23): Due to my threads being merged, I decided to delete the post from the original One-Stop Shot thread and merge it with the original Transcendence thread post in order to tidy up the thread so it doesn't look like a visual mess. Also the thread has been renamed in order to better fit with this new change.
EDIT (01/11/23): Added a new cover image for Transcendence, and minor grammar and sentence changes designed to make the story flow better.
EDIT (01/11/24)): Fixed an error in Trial of Fire where a line of dialogue at the end is accidently attributed to Shizune instead of Misha. I also updated this post because I've released the first chapter of Hisao's No Nut November, my first multi chapter fanfic.

Transcendence

(Author's Note: Crack-Fic, Sexual Content, Shizune x Kenji)

After a month long crash course in teaching Kenji sign language, I only hope that Kenji’s date with Shizune wouldn’t go up in smoke. God only knows that my fellow students will never let Shizune hear the end of that particular scandal.
I spend the last few hours after a routine shopping trip finishing whatever homework I have before reading books, and falling asleep. All things considered, it’s actually rather nice to have the time to just relax and let myself have some degree of normalcy.

I awaken from my sleep from the loud banging at my door. I open the peephole at my door and at this point, I’m not surprised to know that it’s Kenji, but I'm also surprised to see him in tow with very happy looking Shizune.
“Hisao, my man. It’s great to see you at this timely hour.”
This hour was anything but timely, but I figure that telling him that wouldn’t be very polite so I simply ask him how his date went.
“Oh well, it actually… wasn’t that bad.” said Kenji. “Shizune even considered asking me to join the Student Council.”
Wait. Hold up. Shizune. Shizune actually wants Kenji, of all people to join the Student Council? Uh.. OK? I notice that Shizune looks straight at me with her piercing eyes, so I sit up straight before she starts signing to me:
[“Considering that he’s in Lily’s class, I’d be a fool not to invite him. He's confident. Charismatic. His bold attitude shall for a great fit to the Student Council, don’t you think?]
I sincerely have to question how Shizune come to this somewhat erroneous conclusion, but alas I sign back:
[“Of course. I’m sure Misha will be relieved to hear that we have more members joining the student council. As long you won’t use this to spite Lilly, this shouldn’t be a problem.”]
Shizune bristles at the idea that she would consider using Kenji solely as a means to get under Lilly’s skin, but she puts the idea aside.

I watch Kenji sign to Shizune about needing to talk to me before he looks in my direction.
“Hisao, we need to talk right now. Privately.” said Kenji, leaning far too close to my ear for comfort.
I would question why Kenji would even need to do this when Shizune can’t hear either of us, but then I remember that this is Kenji we’re talking about. I get off the bed and leave my room, ready to follow Kenji into his own room while Shizune watches.

Once we’re in and Kenji locks the door behind us, he looks straight at me to begin the latest of his inspiring speeches.
“The revolution begins, my friend.” said Kenji, his right hand on my shoulder as he gazes into me with pure, steely determination.
“The leader of the feminists has fallen effortlessly for my seductive charms, much like how a soda can falls from a vending machine. The time is now ripe for battle, and it will be a battle of wills!”
Kenji really gets into it. I notice him now stood on his bed, as if it’s a podium to address his captive audience of one.
“The queen, nay, the goddess empress of the feminist order may dominate my penis, but she shall never dominate my spirit. As a manly man, it is customary to retain my resolve, my integrity and my values as a man against the feminist regime! Shizune may be Shizune, but still. He pauses dramatically and I await to see what he’ll say next.
“BUT STILL." he shouts. "She is a feminist, Hisao! And the feminists want to squeeze out the sperm of every man in the country so that they can build a new generation of women to increase the numbers of their feminist army. I will go in there, Hisao. I will not yield and I will. not. break. Shizune may dominate my penis but she will not succeed in dominating me!”
Kenji jumps off his bed, landing to the floor like a superhero before standing back up. I almost think about doing a mock clap to celebrate Kenji’s passionate, rousing speech, but decide to refrain. With this level of oratory passion, I’d almost consider voting for him to be Prime Minister.

“Just to make sure, Kenji, before you go in,” I move toward him and place my hand on his shoulder in turn, “You intend to go in there and let the Class President interrogate you, right? That’s your plan?”
Kenji, being Kenji, sees nothing wrong with this plan whatsoever.
“Of course!” he says with extreme jubilance. “To be dominated by the Iron Lady of Yamuku, the Queen of the Feminists is but the highest honour that a revolutionary like myself can ask for.”
I’m not even going to ask what he means by this and I turn to leave for the door, hoping that Shizune hasn’t left by now. Kenji notices immediately.
“One last thing, Hisao. I need you to get the camcorder out of the War Archives. You’ll be recording everything that goes on, and I want this revolution televised.”
I take Kenji’s camcorder and follow him out of his room, making sure to hide it under my shirt to prevent Shizune from noticing it. Kenji follows me out, making sure to lock his dorm room so nobody gets in. To my surprise, Shizune is still there, so I suppose she has nothing better to do for this evening, which is good, because it’d be a shame if all of Kenji’s rousing speeches about defeating the feminist regime were for nothing.

Shizune looks in my direction and begins to sign:
[“I see that you’ve finished talking at last. You’ve kept me waiting with anticipation.”]
Shizune is smiling, and with a devilish grin, she beckons Kenji over to her and begins to sign:
[“I’ve been waiting all night to challenge you. I want to see what you’re made of”]
Kenji signs back, his resolve ready for the challenge ahead:
[“Is that so? I am ready for this challenge. Absolutely nothing shall deter me!”]
The tension is palpable. Kenji turns to me and he says it. He actually says it.
“We’re going to be borrowing your room. Don’t come in until we’re done!”
“What the hell, Kenji!?” I reply. “You can’t just kick me out of my own dorm room!”
Shizune stares me down with her fiery gaze, which intimidates me enough to force me to be still. She decides not to take any of my objections tonight, and drags Kenji into my dorm room before she locks my door behind the two of them. I just remembered that I didn't close my peephole and that fortunately for Kenji and I, Shizune also forgot about the open peephole, this crucial error gives me the opportunity I need to begin my mission of televising Kenji’s revolution against the Queen of the Feminists, the leader of the "feminist menace"
When the time was right and I was sure that Shizune was sufficiently distracted by my comrade, I unbutton my shirt and pull out the camcorder, turning it on before I place it into the open peephole. Shizune begins to torture Kenji by unbuttoning her shirt and bowtie, exposing her naked body to my comrade. Kenji, for his part is sat on one of my chairs, and I notice that Shizune tied Kenji's hands with his own scarf, doing so in a way that still allows him to communicate to her with sign language.

The interrogation of my comrade began. Kenji rants about how the feminists will never win, and how he intends to prove victorious over their tyranny. Shizune can’t hear a thing he’s saying but I could see that she’s getting lusty nonetheless. In her sexually aroused state, she briefly grabs and squeezes her breasts in front of him before she signs to him:
[“You better like these, because they’re the best ones in this entire academy. Now if you please, I’d appreciate if you could start sucking on my right nipple.”]
[“Sure thing, Shizune. A man shall always being willing to please his Iron Lady!”]
Kenji… actually goes for it. The mad dog. He begins to suck on Shizune’s right nipple, and she loves it. Oh, she enjoys it indeed, as she moans softly before she signs to Kenji again:
[“This feels wonderful. Now suck on my other nipple, don’t keep it waiting.”]
Kenji didn’t need to say a word and he goes for it, for he is no chicken-hawk, and he has no intention of backing down. Not when the Goddess Queen of the Feminists, the Iron Lady of Yamaku Academy signals for him to please her. Another soft moan from Shizune, and a giggle before she signs to him again:
[“You’re so confident when you talk. I want to you to talk. It will turn me on, sexy boy!”]

At this point, I notice Kenji’s baton rising, ready to conduct the 8th Symphony of Shizune. My attention thankfully diverts from his meat bayonette when Kenji rants up a storm as if he’s being tortured for hours by an army of depraved feminist soldiers, and that he is their prisoner of war ensnared in the wicked wiles of the Iron Lady. This, my friends is war, and war is a cruel affair. Shizune signs to him again:
[“You’re so fucking hot when you talk like that. I like when a man challenges me with such bravado. I suppose I can tempt you further by taking off the rest of my clothes.”]
Shizune takes off her skirt and reveals her lacy black panties to my comrade before taking her panties off as well. She is just about to take off her thigh-highs too before Kenji stops her to sign:
[“You can take off the rest of your clothes except the thigh-highs. Those need to stay on during sex.”]
Shizune signs back:
[“Oh? Well, if keeping them will make things better for us both, then I see no harm in it. As for you, Kenji, take off your clothes!”]
Shizune unties Kenji, the fires of lust and conquest now burning in her eyes. She gazes deep into Kenji's eyes, with his return gaze filled with equal determination and grit. My comrade returns fire and takes off his clothes, and before I knew if they were both as naked as the days they were born. Both of them are furiously touching and groping each other, the intensity of the moment heats up gradually until Shizune and Kenji have crossed the rubicon. There will be no turning back.

Shizune grabs Kenji in a fit of red hot lust and piledrives him into my bed before she pins him down, like a spider to a fly, with raw molten desire in her eyes. Oh this, this is only the beginning. Shizune touches Kenji’s erect, throbbing meat lance and quickly inserts it into her wet, slippery vagina, an event which kickstarts the hedonistic merger of bodies. Shizune and Kenji gaze into each others eyes as Shizune begins to pelvic thrust into him in a reversal of the sexual roles I’m accustomed to.
Kenji was… enjoying this. Kenji… actually enjoys being sexually dominated by a woman.
I won’t lie. This reverse domination is hot. Insanely hot. This is new to me, and I must resist the urge to masturbate, because my loyalty, my loyalty is to the mission. To the recording of this event. This legendary event.
I watch in awe as the Iron Lady continues her sexual conquest on the battlefields of raw, insatiable lust. Shizune’s womanly pelvic thrusts gradually quicken in tandem with Kenji's caresses of Shizune's back and his gradual descent down to her firm buttocks while the two of them kissing each others lips.

With a brief break to sign their desires, Shizune wets her index and middle finger with a combination of her saliva and vaginal fluids, before she slides her fingers into Kenji’s asshole, much to his enthusiastic approval. This is it. This is the clincher. The clincher that convinces them both to let go and enjoy the moment. After the fingering of Kenji’s asshole causes him to moan enthusiastically, Shizune gently slides her fingers out of his anus, and wipes them on my bedsheets before she guides Kenji's own fingers to her clitoris and directs him to rub it several times. I could hear Shizune moan loudly then let out a giggle. Kenji also laughs with her, and then the sexual tension rises once again, this time rising to a white hot lust that none of us could've possibly anticipated.

Shizune reinserts Kenji’s still rock hard meat spear in her mighty pink empress and continues her mighty, queenly thrusts into Kenji's pelvic region. Kenji locks eyes with Shizune and begins to push back against her force, both of them in a sexual battle of will and arousal. Shizune and Kenji’s moans intermingle, having long completed the hedonistic merger of bodies, their two souls become one with an intensity that proves and confirms that love could indeed be found on the battlefield. I wasn’t sure how long my own penis could hold out, because it hurt like crazy as I watch them have sex in my own dorm room while I record it all. Surely, I too can use some relief after all this.

Before I knew it, and before Kenji knew it too, Shizune leans closer and whispers into his right ear what I believe to be chicken in Spanish. When she whispers those hallowed words, I feel it. I feel it in my heart, and also in my pants. Kenji also feels it, as his penis erupts like a magnificent, beautiful volcano of sexual desire and he busts the fattest nut of his life. The nut to end all nuts. The nut that will end all wars. The nut that will end all societal evils. The nut that will irreversibly change the course of history forever. The nut that will be remembered for aeons. The nut that will have songs written about it, the nut that will be told in stories, and the nut, the nut that will go down in history as mythology.

Kenji travels several decades into the future, as he hurtles through time’s abyss at speeds that no man can ever hope to handle. Images of the future rush into his vision and overwhelm him at an alarming rate. The future is hopeful. It’s so beautiful. Kenji and Shizune fell in love and they re-hauled the Student Council. Only a decade later did they expand their reach to the rest of Japan, and become King and Queen of the New Kingdom of Yamaku. Legions of feminist men and women march in lockstep to the ode of a new, better world of equal opportunities for all. Yes, this is it. This is the dream that both Kenji and Shizune longed for.

“Huh, it seems like Shizune is really torturing him in there.” I remark to myself as I notice that Kenji’s screaming gradually grows quieter before it stops completely. I never knew that Kenji could scream so loudly that the entirety of the boys dormitory can hear him, though I hope that none of them will question the source of the screaming. At this point, I can see through the still open peephole that both him and Shizune are now exhausted. Shizune turns around, and I quickly hide myself and then the camcorder behind my back before she comes out of my dorm room and signs to me:
[“It seems that Kenji just passed out from our sexual tryst. If he wakes up and asks where I’m gone, tell him that I’m on Student Council business.”]
I sign back:
[“I’ll be sure to do that. Be sure to tell Misha, I said hi.”]
She then concludes our hand to hand conversation:
[“Will do.”]
After this, she goes back into my dorm room, quickly kisses the unconscious Kenji on the cheek, picks up all of her clothes (except her thigh-highs) off the floor and hastily dresses herself before leaving my dorm room and leaving as quickly as she can before anyone can see her in the boys dormitory. I finally return to my own dorm room which now smells of carnal carnage.

I notice that Kenji’s own clothes and scarf are lain about on the floor, so I do the honourable thing and lay out out his clothes and scarf near him so he doesn't have to pick them up in his weakened state. I decide that Kenji can dress himself, and prop him up against the wall before I wait for my comrade to regain consciousness.
“Ugh, where the hell am I?”, said Kenji, feeling disoriented and weak.
“Kenji, you’re conscious again.” I reply. “You do remember what happened right?”
“Oh yeah, I remember now. Shizune and I were getting it on and then I went Super Saiyan at the very end, Hisao! I can’t believe it. I actually banged the Student Council President! Like holy fuck man, that. was. amazing! I will have to ask her to do that again with me sometime!”
“Huh. Well, in any case, your clothes and scarf are on the bed.” I reply.
Kenji looks around my room and notices that his clothes and scarf are now suddenly beside him instead of on the floor where he left them. At this point, I’ve had sex with him twice and am used to him being naked in front of me, so Kenji getting changed right in front of me wasn’t that big of a deal anymore. After Kenji finished getting dressed, I made sure that he got his camcorder back, because good god, it would be embarrassing if I have to explain to any of the teachers why I have video footage of Kenji and the Student Council President having sex.

Kenji looks me in the eye with gratitude. It’s… actually rather touching.
“Thanks man, that was really something. This is definitely going in the War Archives.”
“It’s been an honour serving with you, Comrade”, I reply.
Kenji leaves my room to return to his own heavily guarded fortress. I realize that I will have to clean up my bedsheets because they smell funky as hell and also relieve myself of the throbbing pain in my member. I’m amazed. To think that my friend Kenji could go from a paranoid loner to someone who could be a real upstanding person if he wants to be. The way he conducts himself with Shizune now would seem unthinkable when I first met him, back when he was mostly a paranoid raving lunatic. Well, okay, he’s still somewhat of a raving lunatic, but he’s getting better. At the end of the day, at the end of it all, he and Shizune’s love shall transcend time itself, and to think, to think that all it happened in my own dorm room.

THE END

[hdkv]

Okay.

First: wha?

Second: am I imagining things or Shizune really got out of Hisao room and talked to him naked?

[Siphonata]

Okay.

First: wha?

Second: am I imagining things or Shizune really got out of Hisao room and talked to him naked?

Considering that Hisao watched his comrade get "tortured" by the Iron Lady of Yamaku Academy, I'm sure that Shizune leaving Hisao's room to talk to him in sign language while buck naked is the least of Hisao's problems.

(However re-reading it did cause me to notice a plot hole where Hisao is somehow able to communicate to Shizune while hiding the camcorder behind his back. Unless of course Misha taught him to use one handed sign language, though such a thing might be unlikely even if Yamaku Academy's sign language courses were designed with this possiblity in mind.)

[hdkv]

Considering that Hisao watched his comrade get "tortured" by the Iron Lady of Yamaku Academy, I'm sure that Shizune leaving Hisao's room to talk to him in sign language while buck naked is the least of Hisao's problems.

(However re-reading it did cause me to notice a plot hole where Hisao is somehow able to communicate to Shizune while hiding the camcorder behind his back. Unless of course Misha taught him to use one handed sign language, though such a thing might be unlikely even if Yamaku Academy's sign language courses were designed with this possiblity in mind.)

Not only witnessed the "torture", but also recorded on a tape!

But... hell with Hisao and his preferences, does Shizune lost any self-awareness at this point? Or, if she is okay with Hisao looking at her naked (and speaking with him in sign, which actually requires to stare on the chest region of speaking person!), how high is the possibility that she knows all the deal, camcoder and stuff, and it turns her on?

Also, Hisao may as well just drop camcoder behind him to talk. And considering my previous statement, Shizune is okay with that.

So, the question is: how fucked up is this trio relationship?

PS: with all that "Iron Lady" stuff my mind is struck with the notion that this writing make me want to unironically worship her. Every day we learn something new about oneself, heh.

[Peorth]

I have... Literally all the questions...

[Hanako Fancopter]

Well done sir (or madam). You have my seal of approval.

[Siphonata]

Considering that Hisao watched his comrade get "tortured" by the Iron Lady of Yamaku Academy, I'm sure that Shizune leaving Hisao's room to talk to him in sign language while buck naked is the least of Hisao's problems.

(However re-reading it did cause me to notice a plot hole where Hisao is somehow able to communicate to Shizune while hiding the camcorder behind his back. Unless of course Misha taught him to use one handed sign language, though such a thing might be unlikely even if Yamaku Academy's sign language courses were designed with this possiblity in mind.)

Not only witnessed the "torture", but also recorded on a tape!

But... hell with Hisao and his preferences, does Shizune lost any self-awareness at this point? Or, if she is okay with Hisao looking at her naked (and speaking with him in sign, which actually requires to stare on the chest region of speaking person!), how high is the possibility that she knows all the deal, camcoder and stuff, and it turns her on?

Also, Hisao may as well just drop camcoder behind him to talk. And considering my previous statement, Shizune is okay with that.

So, the question is: how fucked up is this trio relationship?

PS: with all that "Iron Lady" stuff my mind is struck with the notion that this writing make me want to unironically worship her. Every day we learn something new about oneself, heh.

When I wrote this, I was doing so under the notion that Shizune was so busy pounding Kenji into Hisao's bedsheets that she wouldn't have noticed Hisao recording her sexual tryst with Kenji. I figured that Shizune is so confident in herself that she wouldn't have any problem informing Hisao of Kenji's passed out state while she's buck naked (and if Hisao didn't like it, there'd be little he can do about it).

For what it's worth, I do think the idea of Shizune knowing about Hisao recording her round of sexual congress with Kenji and being turned on could make for another crack fic if anybody else wants to take a crack at it for themselves. In regards to the relationship, Kenji and Hisao are like a fucked up version of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, and that the events of this one-shot happened thanks to Hisao helping Kenji to land a date with Shizune.

And yes, all the references to the "Iron Lady" are a reference to former UK Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. It could always be worse, this could've been a one-shot where Shizune is LARPing as Margaret Thatcher while pegging Kenji with a miniature replica of Big Ben. All while Rule Britannia is playing in the background.

I have... Literally all the questions...

Where would you like to begin?

[hdkv]

pegging Kenji with a miniature replica of Big Ben

I think I have enough internet for today.

[Siphonata]

Well done sir (or madam). You have my seal of approval.

Thank you for the kind words, and I hope that you continue your success in writing fan-fiction.

[Siphonata]

Trial of F I R E
(Author’s Note: AU, Crack Fic, Disturbing Content (e.g cannibalism), Halloween, Hisao x Jigoro, Katawa Shoujo Yami, Sexual Content)
Today is the day. Shizune invites me to meet her family, and while I’m able to accept that Lily and Akira are related to her, it annoys me that I’m expected to deal with Hideaki every time I meet the rest of her family. Worse than Hideaki is Shizune’s father, Mr. Hakamichi. Good god, I though Kenji was bad, but this guy. This guy is a fucking asshole.

Today, he’s dressed in a golden shirt with flower patterns, made with what I can only assume is the dyed flesh of Satan’s generals, his trousers ash-black and his hair the same, and he’s also wearing a black watch with a burning flaming hexagram inside. His skin is burning red, like a demon. Wait what? Was Shizune’s father always like this?

After sizing me up, Mr. Hakamichi takes me into the basement. Wait, Shizune didn’t mention a basement in her family’s house. Despite this, he walks me down the steps, the air around us gradually warming up until he finally opens the door and pushes me in. Upon being pushed in the room, I look around to adjust to the murky darkness only to be met with a facsimile of Hell.
The room is burning hot, smoking roiling around the room like a badly ventilated sauna room, and the floor is made up of boiling, burning coals with only a thin layer of metal mesh to protect our feet.

Mr. Hakamichi strides past me, taking slow, giant, thunderous steps towards a rack filled with cheap looking iron swords that wouldn’t look out of place in a martial arts movie. Upon reaching the sword rack, Shizune’s father turns to me and looks me straight in the eyes with his burning, piercing gaze.
“You. Boy. You will pick any one of the swords on this rack. Then we shall engage in the art of swordsmanship.” says Jigoro, his voice booming magnificently.
“M-Mr. Hakamichi.” I stammer. “I-I don’t know how to fight with a sword.”
“Ha Ha Ha Ha. Foolish boy.” laughs Jigoro. “Did my daughter not teach you the traditions of our family, or were you too stupid to pay attention and forgot everything she told you?”

I feel rather slighted. Alright then, if he wants a fight, he’ll be getting one. I can feel the sweat building as I gaze upon the rack, observing all the identical swords, all 6 of them the same dull grey. I pick the middle right one, as if it makes any significant difference. Mr Hakamichi notices my decision and suddenly pulls out his own katana out of a faded ornate golden scabbard.
“LET IT BEGIN! THE TRIAL OF FIRE STARTS NOW!”, roars Jigoro, his voice dark and demonic as he lunges at me and swings his blade. I swing back, my weak strikes betraying the panic deep inside. Oh shit, he’s going to kill me isn’t he?

I panic as Mr. Hakamichi slashes at me with a crimson blade made out of the menstrual blood of a thousand succubus queens. I scream in fear before I realize that if I want his blessing, I must win this duel, or die trying.
Shizune’s father slashes upward at me from the left, I retaliate from the right. He swings low from the right, I parry from the left. Many attacks come from all directions, and I try to counter them all, trying in vain, but I make no progress, much to my despair.
“Allow me to let you in on something, boy! My daughter’s ex-boyfriends all had to endure the Trial of Fire, and only one has ever managed to defeat me in combat. The rest had to be hardened with FIRE!”
As Mr. Hakamichi’s roar echoes across the basement, I can feel my confidence shrivelling at the might of this demon king, as his bloodsoaked blade slashes in every direction I can think of. The smoke surrounds me and he briefly disappears from my vision, only for the smoke and flame to coalesce in front of me, reforming into the nightmarish swordmaster known as Mr, Hakamichi. Before I can properly comprehend what I see, he descends upon me, his demonic katana ready to stab me straight into my pathetic little heart. In my futility, I try to block his flurry of strikes from his katana, only for my sword to shatter upon impact.
“HA HA HA HA! Is that it?” Jigoro asks mockingly. “Another one of her ex-boyfriends to be hardened with F I R E.” I can hear his voice deepen to an unnaturally echoing low pitch once the word fire exits his lips, and it does not make this situation any better.
Oh dear god. Oh god. Oh fuck. This isn’t going to end well. This isn’t going to end well at all. I can feel the panic overwhelm me as I can only anticipate in fear which Mr. Hakamichi could possibly mean by “hardening me with fire”.

“You, Nakai. Strip off all your clothes and get naked for me.”
“. . . Wait, what?” I splutter in disbelief, barely able to comprehend what I’ve just been told to do.
“ARE YOU DEAF, BOY? GET NAKED, YOUR ASS SHALL BE HARDENED WITH FIRE” roars Jigoro, his mighty roar echoes around in the basement. I strip off naked, ready to accept my fate. Kenji always told me that I must face my issues like a man, so that I may come out stronger.
“Good. Now get on your hands and knees” said Jigoro, pleased with my compliance.
At this point, I’m done questioning this man’s insane demands. He’s probably going to execute me then cut up my body, and feed it to Shizune, Hideaki and Misha in the form of a delicious, filling stew.

Mr. Hakimichi unsheathes his blood red katana, putting it back into his ornate gold scabbard before unbuttoning his trousers and unsheathes his other sword. Oh dear god, this is worse. Strangely, I feel like I’ve been through this before but it doesn’t change my unflinching terror at the present situation. I know what he’s going to do, he’s going to tenderize me with his dick, then kill me and make a delicious soup out of my remains. Fine. Hideaki can eat my fucking ass anyway. Amongst the smoke and flames, the smell of hot sauce joins the list of things I can smell in this godforsaken room.

“Let it be known, Nakai, that this will hurt me far more than it will you.” says Jigoro, his voice now grave and solemn.
I turn my head and notice him taking out a bottle of extremely spicy hot sauce from a deep purple bottle with its middle covered with a horizonal black label decorated with orange flames. Mr. Hakamichi unscrews the metal black bottle cap and greases his thick pork sword with the extremely spicy hot sauce, briefly wincing in pain as he rubs it over his satanic sausage several times. Once he finishes lubing up his pork sword, he speaks again and I listen in anticipation.
“A real man must be able to give pain, and also receive it. For a man who can do both is worthy of any woman he chooses!” yells Jigoro, his voice echoes in the deep, dark, circle of Hell that I’m currently reside in.

I hoped that my last moments would be spent doing anything else such as being bitten in the neck by Shizune or helping her to kidnap unruly students, but no. It had to end like this. The time has come, at long last. Suddenly, Shizune’s father impales my bunghole with his pork sword and I scream in agonizing pain.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Meanwhile on the surface, Shizune and Hideaki await their father’s final judgement alongside Misha, who is simply along for the ride. They can hear the screams coming from the basement. Hideaki bursts into fat, buttery tears and runs to his sister for comfort.
“Why does this happen every time you bring a boy home?” Hideaki cries, his eyes watering and his nosy runny as Shizune holds him in her bosom, while occasionally licking her little brother’s tears. As she licks the tears running down his face, Shizune strongly believes that Hideaki’s tears taste better as he grows older, and before she knows it, her memories of previous trials start flooding back. To her horror and despair, Shizune remembers it all.

The flashbacks in her mind rush at her like brutes as the faces of her five ex-boyfriends and their screams mingle together in the darkness. She tries to remember the names of her ex-boyfriends, Akio Hayashi, Takashi Maeda, that guy who happens to be the track team captain, Haruhiko Suzumiya, and Lezard Valeth. She remembered the day that Lezard managed to defeat her father in their sword duel, and when Shizune and Lezard chose to end their relationship over an argument over the taste of human flesh, Mr. Hakamichi was deeply disappointed.

While Hideaki continues to cry and Shizune comforts him despite her inner pain, Misha stood there. Just stood there. Pensive. Stoic. Not at all like her usual self. She doesn’t envy the hardship Hisao has to endure as Shizune’s new boyfriend, and wonders to herself if she would suffer the same fate if Shiichan liked other women instead. Shizune notices Misha’s current state and is relieved that she isn’t a lesbian, for she fears for Misha’s safety at the hands of her father if Shizune herself had been a lesbian.
It wasn’t easy being the daughter of a satanic cult leader after all, as most of her boyfriends aside from Lezard had to be hardened with fire, and it scarred them deeply. She couldn’t remember his name, aside from him being captain of the track team. but she did know that he was the only ex-boyfriend she had who asked her father for a second round of ass burning rumpy-pumpy. Her father simply told him to get out and never come back.

Meanwhile, back in Hells basement, it feels like aeons. I can feel the gradual immolation of my chocolate starfish, and my throat is sore from all of my screaming. I can taste the blood in my mouth as Mr Hakamichi continues his hellish thrusting.
“I have to say, Nakai, your ass is very tight. Even tighter than my dead wife’s pussy. And with no blood too. I see that Shizune has taught you well, boy!” roared Jigoro, his voice deep with dark demonic energy.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” I scream. “What does your wife’s pussy have to do with this?” I ask, my voice strangled from all the screaming.
“FOOL!” Mr Hakamichi roars. “My beloved wife died to give birth to my daughter. Her noble sacrifice is what allowed Shizune to emerge into the world, baptised in blood and flame.”

Fucking hell. I’m not sure what's worse, the burning in my asshole, the revelation that Shizune’s mother died in childbirth or that I’m sweating like a pig for what feels like all eternity. Oh well, I’m not surprised that Hideaki is a little bastard, considering how annoying he is. Mr. Hakamichi then violently slaps my asscheeks as he continues to harden my ass in the surrounding hellfire.
I only remember too late that Shizune had shown interest in pegging me with a strap-on, a black metallic one that she bought from a shady merchant in the city. I’m almost grateful that Shizune spent all night pounding my ass the night before I met her father, even if it did hurt the first few times.

The memory departs as quickly as it came, only be followed up by Mr. Hakamichi leaning close to my head, ready to deliver what I assume to be the next an earth shattering revelation.
“Remember that foolish boy? The one that apparently has feelings for my daughter?” Jigoro asks.
“M-me?” I stammer weakly.
“NO, YOU FOOL!” Jigoro roared, slapping my booty cheeks like a bongo drum before aggressively groping them as he continues pounding my ass with his demon cock.
“I have seen through his eyes, as I can see through all who are linked to me, boy! You may know him as Kenji Satou!” Jigoro yells, his demonic voice echoes across the room once again.
Oh no. This can only get worse. What could Shizune’s father possibly know about Kenji, or even myself?
“You see Nakai, we Hakamichis have existed for generations, and we continue to live on this wretched Earth as a satanic cult, dedicated to summoning the strongest of demons. Before you transferred here, my daughter convinced that foolish boy to summon a demon, only to summon me instead by accident. That boy, Satou, he thirsted for knowledge. He would not be deterred and he wished to know the arcane secrets of a woman’s true nature. His stupid wish amused me enough that I agreed to tell him everything, and so I whispered to him the secrets that he longed for. When I was done, my daughter watched him run from the room screaming.”

Holy shit. I can feel my world shatter beneath my feet as my soul tries in vain to ascend to the heavens. All of this syncing up with the rhythmic, infernal pounding that I feel in my ass. It burns, burns, burns. I feel in my ass. I despair at the knowledge that all this time, Shizune’s father had known of my existence, having seen everything through the eyes of Shizune, Kenji, Misha and sigh yes, even Hideaki.
I can feel my eyes tearing up, and tiny dribbles of cum dribbling from my flaccid penis as I try to process everything. I’m not even sure if this man is even human. I can only ask myself, is he Mr. Hakamichi, the Devil or both? Before I can even draw my own conclusion to this question, I can feel the fires of hell incinerate the insides of my asshole, as Mr. Hakamichi’s man magma emerges from the volcanic ejaculation from his godless cock. I scream once more but it makes no difference.
The realization hits me like a bullet train. Hakamichi. I should’ve known. A name befitting of a demon. I can’t believe I didn’t suspect a thing when Shizune and Misha were so nonchalant about having me perform a Satanic ritual with them in the Student Council Room, or that when she told me that the only reason that Nomiya wasn’t crucified for complaining to the Student Council was simply that he was too fat to crucify, or that when Lily insulted Shizune’s family traditions, Shizune’s first response was to suggest that we use Hanako as a human sacrifice, appeasing the Dark Lord as repentance for Lily’s grave insult to family tradition.

The fires of Hell surround me as I await for the cold embrace of death. I feel Mr. Hakamichi’s penis finally withdraw from my burnt anus, the pain from the double whammy of extremely spicy hot sauce and his penetration causing it to twitch instinctively as he stands up to his full height, patting me on the back.
“You have done well, boy. I see that you have hardened immensely since we first got in here. You are a real man now, and have therefore passed the Trial of Fire.”
The pain I feel is immense and I can barely stand, and yet I struggle to put my clothes back on as I notice Shizune’s father sheathing his pork sword at long last, before he buttons up his own trousers. He then unlocks the door and once he notices me struggling, helps me back up and walks me up the basement stairs.

Jigoro looks at me now, his golden shirt seeming far more radiant than before.
“You have performed admirably, and if you’re able to endure the Trial of Fire, then I am confident that you will be worthy of being Shizune’s boyfriend.”
I’m so tired, and yet I feel so validated. I cannot wait to see Shizune again. When we finally return to the surface, I’m hugged by Shizune, Misha and Hideaki, who are overjoyed to see me safe. Mr Hakamichi’s last words to me before I went back to Yamaku Academy were to order me to drink the large 1 litre bottle of water in the fridge to combat my dehydration from the Trial of Fire.
After my return, I finally return to my dorm room, going straight to bed, and I go to sleep. A deep, deep, deep sleep…

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” I scream, but Shizune cannot hear me. I awaken in a cold sweat in the Student Council room in front of Misha and Shizune, my pants damp from a nocturnal emission.
“Oh. It’s Hiichan. You’re finally awake.” said Misha, her cheerful demeanour cutting through my dark anxiety like a knife.
Shizune watches me intently. I notice that she’s brought in what appears to be a set of scented candles, rope and a black metallic strap-on. I start sweating, for I just remembered that Misha, Shizune and I were planning to have a three-way in the Student Council room.
Shizune looks at me and signs:
[“I see you had that dream again. Please try not to fall asleep while we’re conducting Student Council business. And don’t worry about it, we’ll be gentle.”]
After she finishes signing, Shizune lifts up her skirt before she puts on the black strap-on. I can now notice the strap-on poking out of her skirt, an image that no doubt would make Kenji froth at the mouth in pure incomprehensible rage. I look back towards the two prettiest ladies in all of Yamaku Academy and hope that my heart can handle this much excitement...

THE END.

[Siphonata]

Kenji goes to the Katawa Shoujo Forums (16+)

(Author’s Note: April Fools, AU, Black Comedy, Edgy Humor, Katawa Shoujo Yami, Non-Canon)

The young man stews and sulks in his room. His name is Kenji Satou, a young man with short black messy hair who wears glasses, a white shirt with black tie and a dark purple school uniform with white trim. Furious with his recent loss, he frantically looks around his room (a chaotic mess of graphs, paper, homework, various types of puppets, and tools plus various things he bought for his fight against the feminist uprising) and finds his laptop underneath his bed. Kenji decides that he will feel better if he returns to one of his favourite internet forums. He rushes through the password screen and creates a simply melody of computer keys clacking as he types in his password before he scrambles around his cluttered desktop filled with files that varied from the anodyne to the arcane. After a minute or so of this, he finally makes it to the internet.

Ah, the internet! A wondrous show of man’s potential, and a place where Kenji Satou can find what he needs to combat the feminist menace! Kenji’s attempts to find new websites can be annoying due to how well hidden they are and because of that, he is forever grateful that Yamuku Academy has great internet connection, which greatly reduces the amount of time he waits for the internet to load up. Kenji scurries into his folders on the favourites bar, once again a chaotic cluster of folders with names from the obvious to the obscure, and eventually finds it. The Katawa Shoujo Forums!

From his years of accumulated knowledge, Katawa Shoujo is a visual novel starring his frenemy Hisao Nakai whose story involves his personal journey after starting a new life at Yamaku Academy. It irks Kenji every time he thinks about it. Why the hell wasn’t he the main character instead of Hisao? Hisao is boring! Well he would be, if he wasn’t fooling around with the Student Council by having dirty, raunchy, kinky sex and getting up to all sorts of treacherous deeds that are sworn to secrecy! Kenji prowls around the Katawa Shoujo Forums, the inoffensive beige colours contrast starkly with the wicked and wild history of fan expectations and hype, personal battles over who the best girl was (spoiler alert: IT’S NOT SHIZUNE!!!!), updates on the game’s development, concept art, ideas for potential story lines in future updates and of course, NSFW content for all the girls that Hisao (Kenji feels that it should’ve been him!) gets to romance throughout the game!

Despite the weird and wonderful world that 4 Leaf Studios made, Kenji still feels that its strange and surreal that they could create a game so true to life and yet still get so much wrong. He resists the urge to rant about how they whitewash Shizune’s character in addition to her various crimes while vilifying him and not giving him his own route! Because of this, the fans dare to insinuate that he tried to murder Hisao by pushing him off the roof! Because of this strangeness, Kenji was sure that the developers have their spies pretend to be various students in order to get the relevant info for their game, but he decided to push aside his theories about 4 Leaf Studios upon seeing a new topic. Kenji looks at the name. Hisaostrips.

He remembers the good old days where he claimed that Lily was objectively superior, and caused a flame war which he stoked by his construction of elaborate arguments on why Lily was the best girl, and that Shizune was a devil worshipper trying to convert new fans to Satanism. Kenji was unceremoniously banned a page later after he claimed that Shizune’s route was Student Council propaganda, and that it needed to be removed post-haste before depicting her as Hitler in his passionate defence of Lily and her esteemed virtues.
Even now, Kenji’s mind is still is a chaotic organism of spaghetti, conspiracy theories of varying degrees of quality, knowledge accumulated from countless hours of fictional and non-fictional books he read and paranoia for all things feminist. It is difficult for him to stay on topic at the best of times, but today had been a stressful day for Kenji, which only exacerbates his existing issues. After a few tangential trains of thought, Kenji finally enters the topic and his eyes scan the images.

According to the thread OP who calls themselves “iwanakoxhisao”, the mods had banned fanfiction, and the forum members retaliated by posting memes. “Iwanakoxhisao” decided to throw their hat into the ring by with their creation of the Hisaostrips which consists of various images from Katawa Shoujo with a caption underneath. The Hisaostrips consists of all sorts of jokes that vary from amusing, to strange, to offensive and downright depraved in addition to some surprisingly philosophical and existential musings; stories about the nature of humanity, and the eternal debate over the possibility that God is dead and that humanity were the ones to kill him, or that he’s still alive and watching his creations suffer for his cruel amusement. It pleases Kenji to know that someone is out there documenting his mad quest to kill God, and after he finishes reading, immediately saves the Hisaostrip, placing it into an image gallery in his favourites folder filled with various different memes he took from a small variety of websites.

Kenji takes notice of one user named “kenjiisevil”, and remembers that one time where some radical feminist though it would be funny to create a site called kenjiisevil.com. He still seethes over this 2 year old website that depicts him in league with various infamous dictators, hate groups and terrorists, and tried as he might, he couldn’t get the website down and had no choice but to live with it. No point in getting into fights over his reputation, Kenji thinks to himself. He already lost an old account called “kenjisthefuckingman” after he posted an inflammatory rant about how he should have been the main character, and that Hisao is completely and utterly overrated. Kenji of course, still believes that his rant is completely accurate even after he met Hisao, and if he hadn’t been banned, he would’ve updated his rant to contain all of his the at-the-time new information he has about him.

Kenji redirects his thoughts from old stories and decides that the user “kenjiisevil” is no longer important, returning to his quest of reading several more Hisaostrips. It bothers him that Shizune is depicted with blue hair in this game despite her hair being black as coal, or that Shizune isn’t portrayed as the bloodthirsty Satanist that he knew she was. It pleases Kenji that several of these Hisaostrips depict Shizune as the fascist she-dog that she really is, and it’s good to know that someone is out there to bring truth to power. Kenji continues on and finds a Hisaostrip from a user called “hisaomasterofromance” and reads it. He looks at the caption. Hard. It reads:
“Sick of not getting any sex, Kenji masturbates to the sounds of Hisao having sex next door while he is trying to sleep at 3AM, and decides that he will shoot up the school tomorrow morning to get even with Hisao.”

Yes. Yes. It’s about time that Hisao lost. And if all goes well, Kenji thinks to himself, he might be able to kill 2 birds with one stone and kill that black haired bitch and her scarlet haired puppet, destroying the Student Council once and for all! In his excitement over this idea, Kenji grabs his machine gun from underneath the bed, and carefully makes sure it is fully loaded. He is absolutely confident that he won’t need to reload after his on-the-spot plan to shoot up the school cafeteria. He smiles to himself before leaving his room and locking the door.

He smiles as he thinks to himself: Hisao Nakai and the Student Council must die.

THE END

[Mirage_GSM]

He remembers the good old days where he claimed that Lily was objectively superior,...

It's funny he is such a Lilly fanboy that he apparently married her and took her last name:

The young man stews and sulks in his room. His name is Kenji Satou...

[Siphonata]

He remembers the good old days where he claimed that Lily was objectively superior,...

It's funny he is such a Lilly fanboy that he apparently married her and took her last name:

The young man stews and sulks in his room. His name is Kenji Satou...

It wasn't my intent to have Kenji take Lily's last name (it's clear that I must've gotten Kenji's surname confused with Lily's), though to be honest, I found your observation amusing. I suppose in the end, that fanfic is probably funnier because of this slight error.