ITT: wacky and zany KS comparisons

[Caesius]

We've all seen these threads, many of us have participated in them, and hell I've even "contributed" a couple in the interest of stimulating conversation (not to imply that conversation is stimulating). So here, I've decided to give this generic thread type a little twist:

Come up with the most nonsensical, yet abstractly accurate, KS comparisons.

Now this doesn't mean it's a thread where you just dump your stupid comparisons which otherwise aren't worthy of their own thread, though I imagine that's exactly what it'll become. Not that I care :B

No; here you gotta put 100% of that rinky-dink imagination of yours to work. Or not, doesn't matter. You'll see when you read the next sentence.


The KS girls as non-sinusoidal waveforms


Lilly: Sine wave. "But wait, you said non-sinusoidal waveforms!" Well, you know what, I don't think I really need to explain why Lilly gets the sine wave. (Hint: It's because she's boring and simple.)

Hanako: Triangle wave, 'cause it's the closest non-sinusoidal relative to the sine wave (compare these three GIFs). Not that Hanako and Lilly are cousins, or that they engage in incest... but that would be hot, wouldn't it?

Misha: Square wave, 'cause that's what you get when you amplify any given waveform to infinity and then apply a hard limiter with zero attack/release. Also, I think maybe square waves sound louder than any of the other waveforms? I'm too scared of making myself even more deaf by finding out in Cool Edit Pro.

Shizune: Zero-amplitude line.

Rin: Saw wave, 'cause the tangent function is kinda like a curvier saw wave. And the tangent function is very non-sinusoidal, which is appropriate for Rin 'cause she's so... what's the word... intriguing. (Bet you thought I was going to say "random.")

Emi: I ran out of "real" non-sinusoidal waveforms, so I'm just just going to say she's a cycloid 'cause the GIF of the rolling circle is funny.

[ubergeneral]

You are board. Good thing school starts soon.

[Deimos]

The girls as military conflicts:

Lilly is WW 2 because Call of Duty, Medal of Honor and thousands of films have made it boring.

Hanako is without doubt the Vietnam war. Hiding Vietcongs and naphalm - need to say more?

Shizune can be represented through the Three Hundred and Thirty-five Year War between the Netherlands and the Isles of Scilly in which not a single shot was fired and which was long forgotten and thus not ended by the feuding powers - therefore making it "the silent war".

The only war "special" enough to do Rin justice would be the Football war between Honduras and El Salvador - lasting only around 100 hours and famous for being the last symetrical war that had a full cavalry charge.

Being the shortest among the girls Emi is naturally the Anglo-Zanzibar War of 1896. With only around half an hour of duration it is the shortest war I know of. And it was solely fought by a British gunboat that coincidentally was in the harbour to protect the British cricket team that was touring Africa.
There you have it - a short war with sports - can someone think of anything better?


No need to look at me strangely - military history is my hobby!

[Out of the Loop]

No need to look at me strangely - military history is my hobby!

And that fits with your avatar and signature.

Interesting wars, I didn't know humanity's uniqueness can bleed into wars. I mean, a lone british boat defending a sports team? Amazing.

Zany comparisons, eh?

Hanako is like brownies; even if they're burnt they still are good.

Emi is like a cupcake; petite and a handful.

Hisao is like a cheeseburger; versatile and HNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Misha is like a wedding cake; loud and isn't very comfortable with steps.

[Warwick]

Hanako is like brownies; even if they're burnt they still are good.

XD

[G0t0]

My theme is masks from Majora's mask.

Lilly - Romani Mask (she is mature enough to enjoy the milk bar.)
Hanako - Stone Mask (she wants to be unseen.)
Shizune - Bremen Mask (She is a leader.)
Emi - Bunny Hood (she loves running.)
Rin - Kafei's Mask (she asks particular questions, also she's a bro)
Misha - Blast Mask (loud)

[cpl_crud]

Lego Pieces:

(Keep in mind that the last Lego set I owned was over a decade ago Also the numbers are how many "dots" are on the top, and the height)

Shizune: The technics computer controller thing
Emi: The 1 x 1 x 1/3rd peice. Small and looks like it would be useful, but no-one ever seems to find a good use for it.
Lilly: That technics cog that had the hooked teeth, allowing it to go perpindicualr to the rest of the cogs. A versitle cog but a little useless without others around it.
Misha: That little light thing that would stay on steady if you put it one way, or flash if you put it on the other.
Hanako: One of the 3x2x1 slope bits; it has both smooth and lumpy bits on it.
Rin: One of the 2x2x1/3 "smooth" bits. It can't join with anything from teh top side.




This is a dumb game.

[Nightdragon]

Hmm, military battles were already taken, which is also a hobby of mine...

How about....

Military aircraft!!!

Lilly could be a CH-46E "Phrog", old fashined but still in good use.

Hanako could be a V-22 Osprey, unproven and marked with issues, yet could still end up to be the best thing since sliced bread.

Shizune could be an E-3 Sentry aka AWACS, always in control and has to know about everything.

Rin could be an A-10 Thunderbolt II aka Warthog, not the prettiest, but is beautiful in its own special way.

Emi can be B-52, it just refuses to be replaced or put down.

[ZystraL]

Wood. Not the morning sort either.

Lilly: Balsa.
Hanako: Douglas Fir. Because to ignite it, you'd have to have some pretty strong fire. And unless you maintain that heat of roughly 500 degrees C, the fire goes out quickly. Ironic lulz.
Emi: Sitka Spruce. Best Weight-Strength ratio known to man at the moment. Only a tiny bit heavier than Balsa.
Misha: Oak. If you've ever picked up anything made out of oak...
Shizune: Maple. more ironic lulz because Maple is the best wood for creating musical instruments out of.
Hideaki: MDF - because it's not a wood.

[Fanatical]

Sorry to essentially double-post both here and the shimmie, but I've been a hard-core lurker for sometime, and I wanted to know if anyone can/would be glad to add their thoughts on to this. It's a Persona 4(with elements of 1 and 2)/Katawa Shoujo crossover. Because who doesn't love those? It seems to be it should go in this thread, so... Here we go.

Shadow Hanako is on fire, her hair long whip-like strands that she can attack the party with; her body is crisscrossed with highly unrealistic burning and scar tissue, and her eyes are glassy orbs as if they've been burned over. She also flails around wildly, making her body look much larger or smaller than it is (body issues, much?). Her card would be the Hermit, her persona Sati. Fire attacks would be her specialty.

Shadow Emi is being dragged through the mud by a roman-style chariot; instead of wheels however, it's been pulled by a horde of expressionless, blank-faced and athletic young women. She's obviously in great pain, and struggling against the pull of the chariot, which attempts to trample anything in her way. Her card would be the Chariot, and her persona would be Atlas. Specialty would be fast, accurate, and incredibly damaging physical attacks. Body slam!

Shadow Rin: "Walls. Walls are crashing down everywhere, and it's in and out of my mind. People always ask me if I'm on drugs. Is it because of the way I talk? Or because I'm an artist? I'm crazy, so I have to be. Be on drugs, I mean. It's you, isn't it? You paint with rumors, and it's ugly. Looking bad there, pal."

Rin's shadow is 'painted' across the backdrop of the school. It constantly taunts the party and murmurs menacing half-truths; it also attacks multiple times per turn with status effects and powerful Hama/Mudo spells. Occasionally, she'll 'disappear' into the mural, and become invulnerable to attack for several turns. She'll taunt you again when she's about to pop out and unless a 'Shades of Grey' attack that damages the entire party for a large amount of damage. Her card would be the Magician, her specialty status-effect spells, stat-lowering spells and the instant-death type skills from the Hama/Light school. Her persona would be Dada. Who totally transcended into Personahood upon his death.

Shadow Lily looks completely normal at first, but her eyes are closed. She occasionally taps the ground with her cane, sending tremors through the earth that cause large amounts of damage, but are otherwise nothing special. After awhile, her eyes shoot open; they are completely grey and iriseless, but flecked with gold. She screams throughout the entire battle, and begins hurling the entirety of the tea room against the party telekinetically, and using strong earth-based (Magna, from the old P1/P2 series of games) attacks. Her card would be Justice, and her specialty earth based attacks and healing. Her Persona would be Izanami.

Shadow Shizune: She's wearing a highly stylized uniform reminescent of Patton, and driving a type 97 Chi-Ha tank, with an implacable smile on her face. Throughout the battle, she repeatedly signs 'are you having fun?'. Halfway through the incredibly grueling battle, the tank explodes, launching a whimpering Shizune onto the ground; the battle becomes ridiculously easy; Shizune occasionally signs things that Misha can only half interpret. "... This isn't what I wan't..." "... Do you only see me like this..?" "... Why can't you speak to me!..." The battle ends if you beat her or run away(which has become stop fight). Her card is Judgement, and her specialty is moves that exploit weaknesses, mostly physical attacks that have high crit possibility/do more damage under certain conditions; she also has the highest endurance/willpower of any character. Her persona is Patton.
Immediately after the battle, you fight Shadow Misha.

Shadow Misha is laughing entire fight, but it's mixed with regular dry sobs. Her skin, hair, and muscle tissues flakes away as she takes damage, and she casts no shadow. Huge, larger than life statues of Shizune occasionally rocket out of the earth to protect her; you must destroy them before you can attack Misha. Radiation poisoning from her attack countdown, gives the player only several turns to finish the battle before everyone expires. Her card is the Hierophant, and her Persona is Sadako Sasaki. She gets most elemental attacks, and also stat-up spells that affect the entire party and cure conditions/revive.

Shadow Kenji is a little boy wearing oversized glasses and a ridiculous scarf. He's surrounded by blurry shapes that all appear to be making fun of him; constant whispers and weird voices are heard during the fight. His scarf appears to be strangling him, and a spotlight illuminates that it's attached to the roof. When he attacks, the blurry figures remove chunks of his skin, and instead of blood, obfusticating black smoke pours fourth. He uses a lot of instant death Mudo/Dark type spells and stat-lowering attacks, as well as strong electrical attacks.. 3/4 of the way through, he starts begging Hisao to rescue him, to see him for who he really is. His card is the Hanged Man, his specialties are Mudo/Dark moves and the Jio/Zio spells. His persona is Baruch Spinoza.

I don't know enough for Akira or Hideaki yet, but Akira is the Emporer, and Hideaki the Empress. Make of that what you will. Also, Hisao is the World, not only to buck tradition of the last two Persona games, but because his story is backwords; he goes from a completed journey back down, examining life from a new perspective. This fits the Fool, but takes a more ironic stance when we use the World.

[waffleman is my goshujinsama]

I think this image explains itself.

[Tsundere Lightning]

Hanako is like brownies; even if they're burnt they still are good.

I've heard that about pizza (even if it's bad, it's kinda good). However, it is more appropriate for Hanako, as she, and brownies, are very sweet.

How about Dungeons and Dragons (4th Edition) classes?

Shizune is a Warlord, no question. She owns the battlefield, and her driven personality directs you to kick even more ass. She promises to be a BENEVOLENT dictator!

Emi is a Cleric. She's trying to support you, and keep you happy and healthy... and preach at you, unfortunatley.

Lilly is a Paladin. A quiet support, running interference between the fragile members of the party (e.g. Hanako) and the dangerous and hostile forces against them. If you don't deserve it - you shall not pass.

Rin is a Rogue. Unorthodox, flexible in thought and deed, mobile.

Hanako is a Wizard. She stops you in her tracks, and her actions make it impossible to hurt her or her friends, one way or the other.

Misha is a Fighter, the good right hand of any Warlord anywhere, ready to plan and spring Shizune's gambits.

And Kenji? Kenji is a Munchkin.

[Nintendo Maniac 64]

My comparison, gaming consoles (list my be subject to change with possibly explanations, don't exactly have time to really think about it now)

Emi - Wii

Hanako - DreamCast

Lilly - Nintendo Entertainment System

Misha - Xbox 360

Shizune - PlayStation 3

Rin - Nintendo 64


And for lulz:

Kenji - PC (the consoles are trying to kill me I tell you!)

[bitpeg]

The girls as Carlton Mellick books. I don't know why I'm posting this, I feel like I'm the only fan of the bizarro genre on this site. Nevertheless, I hope you at least enjoy the titles.

Emi- Sex and Death in Television Town

Rin- Ocean of Lard

Shizune- Adolf in Wonderland

Misha- Baby Jesus Buttplug

Lilly- Satan Burger/Punk Land

Hanako- The Menstruating Mall

[Vertical]

Computer Parts

Shizune - CPU, because duh.

Misha - Hard Drive. After all the hammering about how big she supposedly is, I don't think this needs defending.

Rin - Ram. I mean... just expand the first word in the acronym and there you go.

Emi - Optical Drive. Lots of moving durable parts that either outlive their warranty or break on you out of fucking no where.

Lilly - Motherboard. Can't do much of anything on her own, but supportive, as long as you conform with her standards.

Hanako - The Northbridge. Timid in size, has a tendency to heat up, and never leaves the motherboard's side.

-Expanded Edition- and sorta bending my own rule.

Akira - On-board Video Card. Sells itself as an alternative to the real thing but it's never gonna happen.

Hideaki - On-board Video Card. Sells itself as an alternative to the real thing bu-wait a minute...

Yuuko - Anything made by Gigabyte. High failure rate.

Hisao's Mom - E-machines. Everything is manufactured with a defect.

Time-warp-tan - Motherboard missing its CMOS battery half the time. So funny I don't want to explain it.

Naomi - Overclocked CPU with the voltage cranked.