Yuuko Pseudo-route: Can You Read Me?

[Padjil]

Hello everyone!

My name is Padjil and I'm here in this topic to write a, I hope, good story about Yuuko. I'm not a english speaker, and so writer, but fear not my story is corrected!

Why a Yuuko pseudo-route?

Yuuko is not the girl or character that I love the most in KS (I didn't say that I hate her calm down red head fan), but I find it quite strange that, even after all this years, not even one story about her pop in this forum.

It's also great for me because, I find it quite hard to write a story when another good one is already here ( Go after Thanatos for Akira, Scissor for Suzu or Rika by Rikabro seems to be a huge challenge so good luck for the people doing it)

Yuuko also give the chance to have another perspective than just a fellow classmate of Hisao.

And I find her cute.

What to expect?

A great story. I hope. In any case, my view of this pseudo route.

I will not focus every one of my chapter on Yuuko (of course she stay the main character with Hisao) so don't be disapointed if you don't see her in one.
For me, each girl in KS go with one Hisao, so in my story a bif part will be about him.

I will try to give you update regularly and swear that one day, maybe in 2509 if the progress of medicine allow it, I will finished this story!

Thanks

Finally thaks for all of the people who will read my story, every comment, advice, criticize, thoughts, astory of your day or recip of bruschetta are welcom.

And last but not Least: Thanks to Mirage_GSM for is awesome and hard work of corrector.



Yuuko Pseudo-route: Can You Read Me?

Table of Contents:

Intro:

Scene 1: The Transfer Student and the New Environment.

Scene 2: A Feast for Crows.

Scene 3: A Flame of Hope.

[Padjil]

Introduction:

Scene 1: The Transfer Student and the New Environment.

A soft hand shaking my shoulder pulls me from my peaceful sleep. Soon this shaking is combined with a sweet feminine voice.

With reluctance I open my eyes and regret it immediately when they are hit by the rays of the setting sun.

I raise my head from my pillow-desk while emitting a noble «mhg» to assure the people who wake me up of my total attention.

I turn my head to the right, still only half awake, and my eyes meet with some others, green and circled by oval glasses.

Those eyes are part of the face of a worried female, with freckles and long, ginger hair. This girl... no, woman, if I take her bust into account... But only some bad, sexual minded boys do that according to my mother, so I'm going to stick with girl since I've been well brought up.

So, this girl who is wearing a blue dress with black shoulder-parts, fiddles with her hands while trying to get my attention.

“I'..I'm sorry for waking you, but…” Yuuko mutters anxiously.

Right. This is Yuuko, I remember her now. But what she's doing in my room? I hope I haven't forgotten the most memorable day a man can have. After his first confession. Maybe not the most memorable day in my case. But still life-changing.

“Hisao?”

Right Yuuko. Who seems totally too dressed for what I was thinking.

“I have to close the library so…” she says looking at me with pleading eyes.

Oh. That makes more sense.

“Sorry Yuuko, seems like I fell asleep.” Yeah. Genius. I'm pretty sure she already saw that.

“You're not sleeping well?” she asks, slightly worried... Maybe even a little more than usual.

“Nah. I'm okay on that front. I just tried to race with the fastest thing on no legs this morning, and it took a lot out of me.”

And it almost killed me. Great first week.

If just running a little can make me collapse to the ground, it means that I'm in a lot worse shape than I thought. It is true that I was not the most athletic guy in my school, but I was able to last an entire game of soccer.

It's hard to integrate the fact that it was in another life and that I have a much more limited capacity now.

And I have to deal with it, if I want to live to my half-century birthday.

“I understand!” Yuuko laughs quietly “I can be exhausted just by looking at Emi.”

“You know her? She does not seem the type to come to the library regularly.”

“Even if I'm not a student, she is quite famous in Yamaku.” Yuuko’s face suddenly turns gloomy. “And she does come by sometimes.”

Poor Yuuko. I can imagine it being hard to have this bottle of energy in a normally peaceful place like the library. Even more when you have to watch over this peaceful place.

“Oh right, I have to let you close the library,” I remember.

This simple sentence changes Yuuko’s mood totally.

She jumps slightly and looks frantically at her watch with a frightened face.

“I totally forgot! My shift starts in ten minutes, and I didn't finish putting back the books! The owner is going to fire me if I’m late again!”

I feel bad for her… And it seems as if I was one of the causes of her tardiness... But I want to go back to my room and sleep some more while the drowsiness is still here…

“Do you want some help Yuuko?”

I'm a good boy.

“Really?” Yuuko asks, half-happy and half-nervous. “But it's my job…”

She looks at her watch again and jumps a little higher than the last time.

“But thank you! Can you just tidy the left section please?”

Seems the threat of being fired wins over her job consciousness.

I nod and make my way to the tables which are covered in various books.

I'm a good boy, and I hate it.

********************

Together, it takes less than ten minutes to clean up the place and put the books back in place.

After she locks the door, Yuuko thanks me again with an awkward bow while walking backwards, then she's dashes for the stairs.

She seems to be a strange one, sometimes she is calm and collected, full of good advice, and at other times she is so nervous and jumpy that you never expect her to be part of the staff... Maybe what is considered strange in the normal world is considered normal in this sort of school?

I begin to walk towards the stairs at a much slower pace. This morning really drained me, and I don't want to start another episode - especially when I'm alone in the school building.

While walking, I rub my eyes to wake me up more, and I try to not dislocate my jaw when I yawn.

This small nap left me even more tired than before. It's always like that: When you are tired, it becomes even worse if you sleep just a bit. Well at least… Wait a minute.

As my hand still tries to rub the sleep out of my eyes, my arm comes in contact with my cheek, which seems...funny ? I pass my fingers on my cheek and feel the outline of something imprinted there.

I look around to find something that can be used as a decent mirror, and only find an extinguisher.
Oh great, I sigh when I catch my reflection on the red metal. On my right cheek, there is now a mark of the drawings that illustrate the cover of my book-pillow.

And I made a fool of myself in front of Yuuko.

It would have been worse if it had been Hanako or Lilly who saw me, but I think that I’m going to be in the library a lot during my stay in Yamaku, so it would have been great to not feel ashamed every time I borrow some books.

Thinking of thinking Hisao, Lilly couldn't see you… Idiot.

I really should watch what I say. And think.

In this case, Lilly being blind could be a good thing - and I'm a terrible person for thinking that...

While admonishing myself, I arrive at the entrance of the building. I push the door and feel the cool evening air.

The sun has set almost completely, and only some frail orange rays light the garden, while a light breeze blows gently, carrying the smell of fresh cut grass and flowers.

I begin to slowly walk on the path to the boys’ dorm, the sound of my steps echoing in the peaceful garden.

It's been only five days since I've been transferred to Yamaku, and I enjoy the liberty that comes with it, but it is also pretty unsettling.

It's hard to say - and pretty depressing - but the hospital was a known ground, even if I hated it and just wanted to leave.
But here I'm on my own. Not totally of course - even if they try to deny it Yamaku is also a huge hospital.

Certainly they don't have an operating room, but the same air of cleanliness hangs in the air.

Sure, the patients are only students who laugh and seem happy, but when you scratch at the surface it remains a cripple school with classes and homework.

Just the form of the hospital has changed.

Maybe it's just me thinking like that after all, and I'm going to see things otherwise soon.

I was told that my… our conditions are only a big deal if we make them one, but how do you forget about them when they are in front of you every time you try to socialize?

How can I forget that Shizune is deaf when I have to talk to Misha when I want to have a conversation with her?

Or when I see Rin painting with her feet? Or Emi bursting with pride at being the fastest thing with no legs?

I sigh loudly while climbing the stairs to the dorm and making my way to my room.

I glance at the door across from my room, hoping that it won't open.

One thing is for sure: Even if he could see more than two centimeters in front of him, I still would have some issues talking with Kenji.

He does not seem that bad, I think with a small smile, just….special?

I guess to an outsider we are all special.

Let's say unique. It's the term one uses when he wants to say ‘weird’ but politely.

I unlock my room and collapse on my bed.

Unfortunately, but not unexpectedly, I'm now wide wake.

I sigh again briefly and take one of the books that I borrowed. I shouldn't read my stock too quickly, but it's not like I have anything else to do.

While the other students are working for the festival, I have just given a bit of help here and there, and it left me with a good load of free time that I pass doing my homework

Mutou seemed happy that I didn't have trouble to catch up, and now, with nothing else to do, I can immerse myself in a book.

And I have just the right one: Pandora's Star by Peter F. Hamilton. Thank you, sir, for letting a young and lost man like me travel in your SF world.
I don't know how long I read, but I'm already half done with the book when I start to get sleepy.

Looking at the now dark sky, it seems I’ve been lost in my book for quite some time.

I close the book, making sure to mark my page and let my head rest on the unfamiliar pillow.

Even though my stomach is grumbling slightly, right now I prefer to welcome the drowsiness.

Just when I'm falling into the darkness of sleep I'm jolted awake by fear.

I almost fell asleep without taking my pills! Jumping off my bed and beginning to open the numerous bottles of medicine on my bedside table.

Stupid Hisao! If you really want to survive you shouldn't forget the only thing that can prevent a new hospital stay.

I take the small water bottle that I used this morning for my failed attempt at running and begin to gulp my pills one by one with more and more difficulty.

Maybe, like the rest it's going to become a habit, and I'm going to take my pills without thinking and all of them at once.

Or I'm going to forget them more and more, and I'm going to see Tolkien sooner than expected.

No, don't think like that after only one week, Hisao.

I finished my ‘To live’ list of pills and sigh, now once more wide awake.

If it's true that we let some of our life slip away every time we sigh, then I wonder if it's necessary to take my medicine.

I let some of my lifetime slip away again and begin to make a trip to the boy's kitchen.

No more excuse for being lazy.

********************

When I wake up in the morning, I feel a throbbing soreness in my legs the instant I get up from my bed.

It's always like that with sport: You don't feel too bad when you do it, and the next day you crawl on the ground like a slug.

Even before the… confession I wasn't the sportive type, and often a football match left me exhausted and sore, but now…

It was already bad enough to have another episode the other day, but the pain in my legs now just makes me understand one thing:

I hate physical exercise.

And yet, my continued health depends on it.

Sighing, I carry myself to the shower with two hopes: That the hot water will loosen my muscles and that Kenji is not in here.

I don't think my eyesight and reason would survive another grand feminist conspiracy talk naked.

Either my prayers have been granted or Kenji's predictions were true and the feminists murdered him, because he is nowhere in sight when I enter the shower.

I let the hot water stream over me, my back resting against the stall.

It's one of the advantages of living in the same wing as Kenji.

Since it seems that he has scared away all of his neighbors, this shower is just for us, and we can take all the time we want.

Just joking. I hope.

Thanks, life-changing accident that befell him… Because he couldn’t have been like this since birth, right?

After some time asking myself whether it's scientifically plausible to be a conspiracy theorist from the very first day of your life, I reluctantly get out of the stall, my legs now much more ready for the day.

After drying and dressing, I glance at my hair in one of the mirrors.

Seems like they are all right, and it's not as if I can tame them. My mother tried and failed. And more importantly, I like them like that.

My eyes wander downwards and meet the stranger that I have become.

In the hospital, I never really looked at myself. I just deduced my appearance from the looks that my visitors gave me. In the beginning they already were bad, but they became more and more depressing until I finally stopped looking at them.

And now that I take a look at me myself…

My eyes are surrounded by dark circles, I lost some weight, and my cheeks and face are a little bony.

But it's the atmosphere that I release that is really depressing.
I try to crack a smile at my strange reflection, only to be greeted by a strange grimace.

Sighing loudly, I go back to my room.

I stuff my science books in my bag and begin to gulp down my medication.

It’s good that we only have morning lessons with Mutou today, because I don't know if I could survive if today was a full course of english.

I exit the dorm, still undetected by Kenji and begin to walk to my classroom under the warming sun.

It’s a beautiful day outside - not too hot and with a fresh breeze blowing. I must have taken my sweet time in the shower, because there are not many students left on the path.

I enter the building and climb the stairs, which causes the lingering pain in my legs to get a bit worse again.

Maybe it's stupid of me, but I can't muster the courage to simply take the elevator.

Call it misplaced pride, but I still have all of my limbs so I have to take the stairs. Maybe it's just a way to keep me from breaking my illusion.

Even more depressed than this morning, I enter the classroom which is already full of groggy students.

I slip onto my chair sighing and put my head on my desk.

Something is amiss. I'm not assaulted by a rambunctious greeting this morning.

All of the gang is here, except for its fierce leader and indispensable right hand, whose desks are empty.

Student council business I guess.

I shouldn't ask if I don't want to be embroiled in a shady cripple business war or called on to paint all of the festival stalls.

Talking about the festival, everybody seems to work hard for it.

It makes me a little guilty to be the only one doing nothing, but as I said to Shizune the other day: You can't expect the new transfer student to do the same load of work as the others.

And I did help. I found the wooden boards that they were looking for the other day - even if I let them carry them afterward.

While I’m fighting to stay awake, Mutou enters, greets us with a grunt, and the class begins.

Well… begins is a strong word. Mutou writes some page numbers with exercises on the board and falls onto his chair. Some students raise their heads slightly, others sleep soundly like the blue haired girl in the front, and some like me open their books. But I think that I'm the only one who grasps the stuff.

I have only read half of it when Mutou's voice tears me from my science kingdom.

“Nakai, can I speak to you for a moment?”

Oh Dear, we are in trouble…

********************

I'm beginning to put my books in my bag after class, while the other students dash for the exit as if there were no tomorrow, energized by the ringing bell.

The talk with Mutou in the hallway was a little ambivalent for me.

Of course it made me pretty proud of myself when he said that I could keep up with class. That pride was reinforced when he seemed impressed.

But the part about the incident yesterday left me with mixed feelings.

Shame, because of course I know that I have to take care of myself and that this school has been made precisely to help people like me, and what I did was pretty stupid.

But anger was there, too. I already know that I screwed up, but how can he expect me to adjust so quickly to my new condition? That I can now die doing something as simple as running? Something that I have done a thousand times before? That I dreamed of doing when in l lay in my hospital bed, tubes hanging on me and surrounded by beeping machines.

I exhale slowly, loosening my grip on my desk.

It's not Mutou’s fault. It's his job to hammer that into my head.

I sigh heavily and take a look around.

It seems as if everyone left except for Hanako, who is reading quietly in the back of the class, her book hiding most of her head.

Not a bad idea after all, and it’s not as if I have anything else to do.

I sit back and extract the book that I read last night. Time to finish this tome.

I just need to read the first line to immerse myself in this world again, and I read silently for some time.

I feel something changing slightly in the atmosphere, and I raise my head the moment Hanako gets up to join Lilly, who stands peacefully in the classroom door.

I watch them, slightly interested. They are talking in a low voice. Maybe Hanako tells Lilly that I am here, and they don't want to disturb me. Or they just don't talk loudly. Could be that. With Hanako, I have the feeling that she would run away if you talk too loud.

That makes me think of something: Should I tell Lilly that I am here? I can imagine that if I were blind, I would like to know if they are other people in the room.

Maybe it's impolite to not signal myself, even if Hanako has already done it.

Another thing where I'm clueless.

It seems as if something came up, because Lilly is now wearing a small frown and seems to apologize. Then, they split up. Lilly exits the room her cane in front of her while Hanako sits back down again.

She must have finished her book, because she doesn't open it again and looks bored moving her head slightly right to left.

Maybe this is the time to be sociable? And to apologize for making her run off the other day.

I get up, a bit anxious and walk over to Hanako.

She sees me approaching, because she raises her hand to hide her scars and her beautiful amethyst eyes are fixed on me, looking scared.

She seems ready to dash of in case I move too abruptly.

“Hey, Hanako” I say with the softest voice I can muster.

“H-Hisao?” She doesn't run away, and she remembers my name. I’ve seen worse beginnings of conversations.


“Yeah. I wanted to apologize for the other day at the library... ”

“I-It's alright...I..It was my fault…”

Now reassure her!

“I don't think it was anyone’s fault.”

It’s super effective!

She smiles softly, her hand still hiding half of her face but it's an achievement. I didn't think that she’d really let her guard down in front of anybody but Lilly.

“I saw that Lilly came by.”

“Y-Yes but she has… has to g-go meet someone.”

Okay, Nakai, a smile is no guarantee for her being calm.

“And you finished your book?”

“Almost... ” she says sheepishly.

“I should borrow it when you are done. It has to be interesting since I always see you reading it.”

She smiles slightly again. I was right, she is pretty cute.

“I-I’ll tell you…”

Talking about books could be a good idea with Hanako, and it seems as if I'm going to meet her in the library often. It would be good if I don't make her run off every time.

Hanako begins to wriggle slightly on her chair, glancing at me shyly. Maybe she wants to go somewhere but doesn't want to be rude and leave me hanging here. We both make an extra effort not to screw up this time.

“You want to go somewhere?” I ask.

Oh please Lord, make it that she doesn't want to go to the bathroom.

But fortunately, she nods slightly and whispers: “Library…”

“I can walk with you… if you want.”

She nods again and takes her bag while I go back to take mine, and then we're off.

The walk is pretty quiet, Hanako staying one step behind me, as if I'm a shield even if there is nobody else in the hallways.

When I think about Hanako, I have to say that my condition has one advantage: Nobody can guess what it is. It must be hard for her.

Stupid! Of course it's hard. If not, she wouldn't be this shy.

Or, I’m totally wrong again, and she was already like that before. If she has a before...

“I… I al-also s-should… borrow yours…”

It seems as if she mustered all of her courage to speak.

“Oh yeah, my book? Yes! We should exchange them when we are done, because it is pretty good... If you like SciFi,” I say with enthusiasm.

Fortunately, she smiles again and nods. Three smiles in one conversation: not bad, Nakai.

I escort Hanako to the safe ground of the library where we split. Even if a bit of reading in this quiet place seems appealing, I have a load of homework to do.

Hanako seems slightly relieved to be left alone. You can't get from extremely shy to friends with only one small conversation.

But it's been interesting.

I leave the building and begin to cross the school grounds, to get to my dorm room and - it's a huge load of homework.

It's safer for me to do it now. If I don’t, I could use it as an excuse to not go to the festival.

This afternoon it is really hard not to think about the festival, that everyone is already talking about.

The grounds are filled with students who put the last touch on their stalls for tomorrow. I can imagine that is also why the student council duo was not there for class.

It’s probably a huge load of work to prepare all that with only two people. It makes me feel guilty for not joining the student council. Of course it's not my thing, but I could have lent a hand more I guess.

But it's better to have regrets afterwards in this case. It's less tiring.

On my way to the dorm, I spot a female figure in a boys’ Yamaku outfit, lying on her back with her pants rolled up to her knees and a brush between her toes.

The red head moves slightly as she paints on the huge wall in front of her.

“That looks good,” I say.

“You’re going to bring misery on your life,” Rin responds in her usual deadpan voice.

“That's alright. I like to live dangerously.” Yeah, like hell.

Rin's toes stop in mid-air, and she bows her head, looking at me from below with her usual indescribable expression.

I wait some time in an awkward silence, Rin still staring at me.

“Is there something on my face?” I ask, trying to break this moment.

“No, but you said that you like to live dangerously. But you don’t look as if you like that, so I looked at you to see if you changed. But you have not. So I was wondering if you were you or if you were someone else.”

“I'm Hisao, and it was a joke.”

“Oh, I see,” she says nodding her head with closed eyes. “So you like to joke about future atrocities in your life. Our friends’ bonds grow again.”

And then she goes back to her work.

It's a bit disconcerting to stop a conversation like this, but it seems like a natural way of social interaction for Rin.

Social interaction that surely normally extends to Emi and no one else.

As I wonder if I should go or try to small-talk a little, Rin’s monotonous voice interrupts my thought.

“Pour me some Prussian Blue.”

“Oh… alright.”

Guess I'm not leaving.

She looks at me with a surprised expression. “You’re standing there, so I thought that you were going to help me, like Emi when she brings the paint and tries to help me. Am I wrong?”

“No, no it's alright. I was feeling guilty for not helping for the festival, so it works out. So, Emi was helping you ?”

“Yes. But she ran off somewhere at some point. So she was here, but she didn't really help.”

I’m glad that I don't have to face her puppy look for now, but at some point I'm going to have to tell her that running is definitively not my thing.

“How so?”

“She didn't pour the paint the way it should be and didn't mix it like she should have.” She frowns and continues. “And after that she wanted to help me paint.”

“Why?”

“My back hurt. And it's hard to paint the top.”

“I don't think that she was a great help for that.”

She looks at me with an inquiring expression, tilting her head.

“She's shorter than you, I don't think that she can reach the top,” I say cracking a small smile.

“So you really DO like to live dangerously,” she responds with a smile.

Oh. So Emi doesn't like it when someone talks about her height.

“I don't think that I must fear her. She is only half my size.”

“Did she bring you food?” Rin asks.

“No, why?”

“Emi brings mine. Maybe you don't have to fear her then. But I do. Otherwise I will starve to death. So I'm not going to say that to her.”

She nods to herself and goes back to her work while I pour some Prussian Blue in a bowl.

When I tell Emi that I'm going to quit running with her, I should still follow Rin’s advice. As they said: It's the smallest who are the most ill-tempered.

And being killed by a girl half my size would certainly be a shitty death.

********************

Finally, I helped Rin with her painting for all of the afternoon.

It's a nice way of passing time and strangely calming. Rin working on her mural and me sitting on a can of paint and reading.

Her voice breaks the silence from time to time, asking me to pour some paint, or sometimes to mix several.

It's a tricky exercise, Rin’s instructions being what we can call very vague. “One splouch with half a hazelnut of this”. But it's satisfying to see her nod, approving, with a small smile.

After the sun sets, Rin rises and states that we are done.

I can't honestly tell, since it's pretty dark, but she is the artist here.

“I'm sure that it's going to look good tomorrow.”

Rin nods and begins to wander towards the dorm, her step uncertain. I follow her, and stay close, in case her legs give in. Painting like that all afternoon must have exhausted her.

We soon arrive at the split between the girl’s and boys’ dorm.

“Thanks for the help,” Rin says in her deadpan tone with a touch of tiredness. “You were more helpful than Emi.” She smiles.

“My pleasure. But you should watch out what you say if you want to eat tonight.”

“You’re right.” She nods. “I want to eat tonight.”

And then she's off.

“Good night,” I say before going my way.

“I don't know. The future is uncertain.” Rin’s voice echoes behind me, as I reach my dorm.

Rin is weird, but it's pretty nice hanging out with her, I think as I open my room’s door.

I kick off my shoes and slump on my bed.

Finally, no one can say that I didn't do my part for the festival. I should announce my accomplishment to Shizune and Misha next time I see them.

Maybe at the festival tomorrow?

I should have made plans, I think while stretching myself on my bed and gulping my pills. I was so stressed to fit into my new environment that I might miss the last big event of my school life.

I guess, I should just ask Kenji what he is doing tomorrow... And also make sure that he is still alive.

Or I could just wander around the stalls.

One of these ideas is more appealing than the other.

I flop back on my bed and begin to drift off.

I should try to enjoy what remains of my school life.

Table of Contents / Next

[Padjil]

Scene 2: A Feast for Crows.


The sound of people talking, walking and having fun reaches my ears and - together with the sun brightening my room - wakes me up.

Even if I try to shield my eyes and ears with my pillow I can't go back to the sleep that was difficult to find last night, my insomnia keeping me awake for a long time.

My grumbling stomach strikes the final blow, and I stand up, grumbling and cursing the people outside. Who would make so much noise in the morning on a weekend?

While asking myself that, I gulp my medicines with care and take a look at my watch.

Okay, let's change my cursing: Who would make so much noise in the afternoon on a weekend?

I guess that I have recovered some of my night’s sleep in the morning, but I do not feel totally rested. My eyes are hurting from too little sleep, and my back is sore from this uncomfortable bed.

First thing to do: a shower to wake me up, and then I'm going to take care of my grumbling friend.

I take a fast peek at my reflection in the mirror which confirms my first impression, accentuated by dark rings under my eyes.

I let the hot water flow over me, my thoughts focusing on a specific part of my body. What am I going to eat for breakf….lunch

After the shower I go back to my room and dress in my school uniform. Outside, the noise has increased since I woke up. It's only at this moment that my brain puts two and two together.

It's the day of the festival. I completely forgot.

The enthusiasm that I had last night seems gone this morning, and the thought of wandering alone between the stalls is not appealing. And the crowd is even less so.

I sit back on my bed and pick up a book to pass one of my last school events alone in my room, but the hunger strikes me again…

Right. Eat. I stand and take one of the cups of instant noodles from my stock. Instant noodles, the best friend of a hungry and lazy student. Even if I have to admit that it's not the healthiest thing in the world. Nor the tastiest.

When I was alone at home - and that was often - I had to cook for myself and sometimes for my parents. I was not a chef, but I was pretty proud of my cooking skills, and the act itself was fun.
And here I am, with cheap instant noodles in my hand, my stomach grumbling.

There is always tasty food during a festival.

I know stomach of mine!

Sighing I drop my cheap sin and prepare to leave my room. I guess I could face the outside world for a short while.

In the hallway I take a look at Kenji's door and wonder if I should try to take him outside. Company would be appreciated. We always need a feminist conspiracy paranoiac with us in a festival with a crowd, where there surely are a lot of women.

Could be fun. For me.

I knock on his door and wait a few seconds. No answer. I knock again but much louder with the same result.

So there are two possibilities: A, he is not in his room, but it would be unnatural for him to be outside in this crowd, or B, he his an incredible poker player or actor, and his real handicap is to be deaf. And that could be scary, when I remember all the time his face came so close to mine…

Guess it's the first one. Or maybe the feminists decided to silence him to make absolutely sure that their evil conspiracy will not be uncovered by a heroic student. If it's true, I guess that I am the sidekick friend from the story who should go save him from a painful and cliché death. But unfortunately for Kenji that's not going to happen.

In the first place, in the stories, this friend is practically always the third wheel who just helps the hero. He lets him have all the glory, fame and girls and then dies in the last book or at the end of the movie. And you remember him like: «What a nice friend! And a loser!»

And I refuse that.

And secondly, because I'm hungry. And like my grandma said: «Hunger before everything else.»

So, good pseudo death Kenji. Hope to see you in a better place.

I shrug and leave the empty dorms in search of a tasty meal.

****************************


The sun shines brightly outside, and the school grounds are filled with people wandering between the stalls.

It's seems as if there are not only students’ families but also the local townspeople and even some visitors from further away.

Yamaku should to be quite the show for certain people. Normal people.

My stomach twists.

I walk leisurely between rows of game stands, trying my hardest to not bump into anyone and then reaching my goal safely: A food stand.

When I arrive at the part of the festival where I can calm my stomach, I take a few minutes to carefully choose the stand that will have the great honor to receive my money.

My vast experience with festivals in general, and festival foods in particular tells me to immediately exclude the stall with cute characters on it.

It's a trap.

When a stand has that sort of advertising you can be pretty sure that someone on the staff said: «The food is not great, so we have to work on the design to attract people.»

Nice try, but you can't fool me with that.

I spent too much time wandering festivals with Mai, Takumi and Shin and fell for this trick too many times. I wasted thousands of yen on bad food until Takumi showed his great festival wisdom and finally explained why Mai and Shin were always smiling at me when I bought something.

I think with a smile that, even if I lost a little fortune, it remained a good memory of the four of us hanging out.

And here I'am again. Trying to find good food.

But alone.

While I scan the area and eliminate two more stalls, my eyes fall on one stand with pretty basic but well done yellow advertising. It's seems reliable enough, but the thing that reassures me is the clerk who works here.

The tall and foreign looking figure of Lilly serves the customers with ease and practice.

Yeah, that has to be a good stall. I can't imagine Lilly selling anything that is not a least edible.

Finally settled, I make my way to the waiting line, filled with hungry clients. From what I hear from the chat of a student in front of me in the line, this stand has a bit of fame from the last festival.

The line advances slowly, and I try to calm my churning stomach by looking around.

The festival sure is lively. I can see some of my classmates wandering in a group with food or toys that they surely just won. One of them - Miura if I'm not wrong - waves her good arm at me while dragging the blue-haired girl who slept in the front row in class, who herself is dragging a teddy-bear.

I try to reciprocate the wave, but it feels totally awkward to me. I try to change the the gesture and pass my hand through my unkempt hair, before putting it in my pocket.

Hisao Nakai’s shiny social interaction skills on display again. I sigh.

After some time rocking on my feet from boredom, the line vanish in front of me, and I'm greeted by Lilly’s smile.

It's amazes me how she can sense people coming even with the ruckus of the festival.

“Hello, I'm sorry for the wait. What is your order?“

She has the same dignified attitude as usual, but I can see a bit of worry on her face.

“Hello, Lilly.“ With the line now empty of any other customers, who, discouraged by the waiting time, are now trying to find some food elsewhere, I allow myself to try to maybe have a decent conversation with another human being. “You seem to be awfully busy here.“

She frowns a little, and I mentally slap myself for my stupidity. It would be really annoying for someone like her to have someone strike up a conversation when she doesn't even know who that person is.

But before I can correct my mistake, Lilly’s frown disappears and is replaced by her usual polite smile.

“...Oh Hisao! Yes, we made a project too big for us, and we are a bit understaffed. But our teacher has gone to fetch some help.“

Guess I was wrong. It's nice to know that she remembers my voice even if we’ve known each other for less than a week.

“Oh..euh..That's nice. I guess“

Lilly raises her hand to her mouth and giggles quietly.

“Yes, you don't have to worry about finding another place to order your food, and I assure you that the quality stays the same.“

“That's a relief. I really need a breakfast, and I don't think I can wait long enough to find another stall that I can trust,“ I try to say jokingly.

“Breakfast? I think it's a little too late for that,“ she says looking straight at me, her unfocused blue eyes failing to meet mine.

Busted.

“Y-Yeah… I, maybe, slept in… a little...“ I say apologetically, while rubbing the back of my head.

Lilly giggles in her ladylike way. "It was quite a sleep-in indeed. You must have been very busy last night"

I blush while thinking of what kind of exercise Lilly believes I have done last night. It's true that I met a lot of new people, and especially girls, but I've only been here for one week. Too early to even remember the names of most of my classmates.

I guess some guys and girls can already hook up with someone in such a short time, but I’ve never been one of them. So It's not even worth it mentioning my current state.

But maybe I'm overthinking it.

Lilly doesn't seem to be the type to do that sort of teasing. It's more Emi-like.

It strikes me how Lilly seems to have been brought up in a very ladylike fashion. If I remember correctly, she was in an all-girls-school before. It's no wonder that she grew up that way. It seems pretty outdated for a commoner like me, but I guess that sort of thing still exists.

I wonder how it feels to be disabled in a normal school. Maybe it was not so bad for her? If she lived through it, I guess I could have as well? Maybe Yamaku was not my only option?

But again, I don't know what is worse - being blind or having a heart like mine. Even our situations are different. She was born like that, and I was not.

Wait, isn't it awful to think about which disability is worst?

"Hisao?" Lilly's nice voice brings me out of my dreaming.

"I believe that you wanted to eat something for your breakfast," she says with a smile.

"Oh, yes you’re right," I say rubbing my neck awkwardly while looking at the line forming behind me.

I check out the board where all the menu items are listed and pick a light and cheap soup.

After Lilly takes my order and asks me to wait a few minutes, I step aside, releasing the place for the next customer who shoots me an annoyed glance.

With my new condition, I should remember that: Do not get between a hungry line of customers and their food just because you want to have a social life.

I doesn't take long before Lilly calls me, and I take my hot bowl of soup from her hand. As I pay, I'm once again amazed by her skill in dealing with common tasks, when she passes her slender fingers over the coins that I give her to check the amount.

"Can you bring back the bowl after you finish please?"

"Of course, Lilly. Good work."

I wander around with my treasure before I make up my mind and head to the garden.

I'm going to eat. Finally.

I plop on the dry grass and immediately take a big gulp out of the bowl, savoring the hot soup.

I sigh with contentment.

The flavour is quite pleasing; not too much but not bland, just enough salt. Good quality for a good price as expected of Lilly's stall.

All the while a refreshing breeze is blowing.

With the time it takes me to eat, the afternoon is now quite advanced, and the ground hosts more and more guests.

***********
I laze here for some time, enjoying myself.

It won’t be long before the sun begins to set and the festival runs at full capacity. Better enjoy it before I get knocked out by all the excited people passing by.

I finish my bowl with some regret. I should order something else when I'm handing it back.

Something more filling. More Tasty. More caloric. More festival-like.

More greasy...

"Hisaoooo!"

OH MY GOD. My impure thoughts have summoned her! What I have done.

Emi sits next to me with a big smile, her ponytails swinging with the motion.

"Hey Emi" I say while trying to hide the remorse in my voice.

Fortunately, Emi didn't catch my tone and begins to talk in her Emi-like bubbling voice, while rocking back and forth .

"I'm glad to see you here! Cause I won 500 yen!"

I raise an eyebrow quizzically, but she responds before I can ask her.

"Rin bet that you wouldn't go out of your dorm," She says while balancing her twintails behind her.
Indeed, Rin follows her with her dreamy look and sits down without looking at us.

"She said that since you didn't have to fear my wrath, you probably weren't going to bother." Emi giggles.

I take a glance at Rin who tries to escape the accusation by looking the other way. Or maybe she’s just looking at a butterfly and didn't notice me.

With what I know of her, the second option seems more likely.

"But that didn't make any sense,” Emi continues looking at me with a big smile, “you hang out with me because of my marvellous and cheerful personality."

A marvellous personality which almost killed me twice...

Emi’s face suddenly changes, her eyebrows are curling, and she tries to give me a menacing glare.

Is she really an Esper?

"And ‘cause, yar me crew matey"

"What was that?" I ask.

"A bad imitation," says Rin, still without looking our way.

"Hay! I have been working on it for months now!"

Okay, I am clueless.

Rin turns her head my way and looks at me with an understanding smile. "She wants to be a pirate".

"Oh, that makes sense." Or not.

"Yep! ‘Cause I can be an incredible pirate! I can have twice as many wooden legs than normal pirates!"

"I..didn't mean it that way.." I whisper in embarrassment.

But Emi doesn’t seem to notice - or care - and continues in her excited puppy-like way.

"But you know Hisao," she says looking at me again. Her smile is still there but her voice is… off? "Rin is wrong, because you should always be afraid of me."

Okay, morning runs with Emi are fine. Really fine. Running when it’s still dark and freezing while you’re still sleepy is great. Gotta keep telling myself that!

"Your threats are better than your pirate accent," I’m interrupt by a deadpan voice, which makes Emi burst out in laughter.

"That because I'm a natural for that!"

Okay, it's time to get the hell out of here.

"Hmm..I have to go back to Lilly stall. To return the bowl," I say while standing up.

"Alright! We're not going to keep you from your duty!"

"That wouldn't be good," says Rin "Like when I should be with my wall but I'm not because Emi was lonely."

Oh, right, Rin’s mural.

"I'm going to see you and your painting later. Because I helped, so..."

"You should just go see the wall. Cause it doesn't have to deal with loneliness and expectation. And it can't walk," She says nodding to herself.

"Doesn't it have to deal with the expectations of the people who look at it?"

The duo look at me with curiosity for the brown girl and bewilderment for the auburn one.

"You know...expectations of people who look at it... and who have other… opinions on how it should… look?"

The two of them look at me for a few seconds, making my face feel warm, before Rin talks again. "It's just a wall Hisao."

Emi bursts out in laughter again while I become totally red and Rin loses all interest in us and goes back to look at the sky.

Time to act like a man.

"I'm going," I mumble.

"See ya crewman! And don't forget our run tomorrow!"

I wave my hand a bit without looking behind me, wishing to be out of here soon. But before I'm out of hearing I hear Emi loud and scary voice: "And don't eat any disgusting and shitty grossy festival food!"

Run.

*********************************

I go back to Lilly’s stall - which is now fully staffed - and return my bowl. I don't order anything else. Out of fear of some female network.

After some small talk with Lilly - or more precisely Lilly going out of her way to do small talk with me - I agree to look around for Hanako, seeing that Lilly is worried about her.

It doesn't take me long to find her. The library was the most likely option.

Hanako is peacefully reading a book, and she hides her face when she notices me.

After a small wave and a smile that she returns as best as she can, I take my leave, letting her in peace.

I feel more confident interacting with Hanako than with anyone else. Maybe because she's even more socially awkward than me.

But again, being able to smile and wave to a classmate is not an accomplishment that I should be proud of... I sigh.

After giving my report to Lilly, I can fully enjoy the game part of this festival!

With some happy memory of games, still clouding my mind, I wander between the stalls, choosing carefully where I'm going to start.

I doesn't take me long to stop in front of a stall.

First thing: Catch a goldfish.

**********************

I takes me much more time than I remember to catch one of them. It seems as if my outstanding skill, forged by hours of practice, has become a bit rusty.

After the sixth try, I have to acknowledge my defeat. If I don't, I will run out of money, and the night is still young.

It's still frustrating.

Yeah, swim like you own that water tank, you little red bastard. Until a kid throws a tantrum because they can't catch you, then you will be caught to make the kid stop, and your life will end in a toilet.

With that hope in my heart and much less money in my wallet I leave.

But my luck doesn't improve with the different games I play.

Goddammit! Non even one ridiculous little strap for a phone.

Even with the string lottery! The things have been made to let people win something!

I let oud a heavy sigh before resting a bit between two stalls.

Wandering around since this morning and the frustration are beginning to wear me down.

I take a look around and decide to finish the day with a last game. Throw some balls to bring down a pyramid of bottles.

I should at least be able to touch one and save my pride. At least a small bit of it.

I make my way to the stall, empty of any client, and the person behind it gives me a hopeful smile.

"Five hundred for four balls!" he says with an cheerful voice. His look becomes a bit greedy when he sees the cash. "Rules for the prizes are here!" he says while tapping a small sign with his cane.

He has a cane, but he can see me. Or did he just sense or hear me? With the loud noise around?

I catch myself before looking at him oddly to see if he is blind or not and try to focus on the sign.

.... wait....what is that?

"Arm… I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you’re not blind, so I would advise you to look higher."

What?

I takes me two seconds to understand that I'm looking at the braille part of the sign.

I raise my eyes, while my face become quite hot, and I rub my neck in embarrassment. The shopkeeper gathers the ball and readjusts the bottles, though it doesn’t seem to be necessary. Thanks dude.

"Two bottles: One small Price. Six bottles: One Medium Price. Two Strike: One Big Price"
"Three small price: One medium."

Seems like they don't want to lose the Big price. Well, it’s not as if I really want a big plush in my small and already uncomfortable bed.

I take my first ball and begin to heft it. It's quite light.

I take a stance and aim for the center of the pyramid.

And I miss. Not just a "Oh damn" miss but a "it's hella humiliating if someone sees that" miss.

I really hope this guy is blind. Damnit Hisao!
I catch myself before looking at my feet in shame. If you have time for that, focus on the game, and do not humiliate yourself.

Again.

The ball is really light so I have to be careful when I throw it.

I focus myself and it hits the right side of one of the bottle, but it doesn't manage to make it fall.

That's better. But this ball is really light, I wonder if it can even make the bottles fall. Maybe that's why there are so few people at this stand: IT'S A TRAP!

Hmm, good excuse if you can't win one price tonight Hisao.

I ready myself and shoot my third ball, who only managed to knock the top bottle.

DAMN.

The shopkeeper whistle and said " Great shot dude." Is he pitying me, or is he making fun of me?

"Unfortunately for you, we count the bottles down only when you knock at least two of them."

Double Damn. Could have write that in your rules! Fucking theft stand. I should have looked closer, surely there are friendly characters somewhere.

I angrily steady myself and muster all my strength for my last shot. It is out of the question that I quit without winning something!

I launch it, and I know immediately that I aimed it right.

But I'm immediately hit by a striking pain in my chest, soon followed by a red flash which obscures the world for a second.

No no no no no!

I grip my chest, eyes closed.

Please not again, not again and not just for that.

I hear the shopkeeper in front of me but I can't make out what he said.

I'm way too afraid for that.

I try to control my breathing, and the pain is slowly getting better.

I open my eyes carefully, afraid that if I do it too fast, the pain will come back.

But it doesn't.

"Hey dude, are you alright?" I raise my head and see the shop guy giving me a cheeky smile. " You’re not dying on me 'cause you made a strike ?"

Seems like he hasn't seen me.

"N-No.. I'm alright." I respond with a shaky voice. He raises an eyebrow, but I cut him off before he says something. "Can I have my prize. I'm tired".

"Yeah, sure. What do you want?"

I take the first medium prize that I see - a stuffed toy - without looking at it;

I just want to go back to my room.

I begin to leave when I hear a voice behind me that makes me freeze.

"Hey mommy! What's broke with that one?"

"Taki! That's rude! Don't say that aloud!"

The path to my room seems endless before my eyes.

Filled with people.

Many people.

Too many people.

Filled with the same thoughts as those of this boy.

I have to get out of here!

I turn around and flee to the main gate of Yamaku.


Table of Contents / Before / Next

[Padjil]

Scene 3: A Flame of Hope.

Broken.

I guess that's what I Am after all.

I can try to hide it better than my fellow cripples but in the end that's what I am, too: Something broken which gets thrown out to a school far away. Isolated.

Better option for your education my ass.

I sigh loudly and follow the path to the small town bellow Yamaku, with my eyes downcast, looking at my feet. The weather has become quite chilly, and I begin to regret that I'm not wearing my school blazer..

Lost in my depressing thoughts, I soon find myself in town. It's only then that I notice that my breathing is quite labored.

God Dammit! Just throwing some balls can give you a near death experience, so of course walking into town will have the same effect!

I begin to massage my chest with my fingers, while looking around to find a place where I can rest. I should have gone to see the nurse. Maybe I can phone him? ...but I don't know his number… or Yamaku's!

That should have been one of the first things to remember for someone in my condition!

Wait… Did I even bring my phone?

Fuck! Don't panic Hisao...Don't! You’re not having an attack! You just walked a bit too much! Don't panic!

But that exactly what I'm doing. I can feel sweat on my palms and fall on my forehead. My heart is pounding faster in my chest... I massage it faster and close my eyes.

Deep breath. Deep Breath.

Nothing.

Still here.

I open my eyes again.

Still alive it seems.

Fortunately, they are still no one in the streets, I must have looked like a weirdo - or a kid with medical issue.

I feel drained, physically and mentally. I must find somewhere to lay down.

If I remember right, the tea house restaurant were Shizune and Misha dragged me the first time should be here.

It don't take me much time to spot the ..."Shanghai", which is a welcome sight for me.

I push the door and enter, eager to find a free spot to sit.

It seems it's going to be easy because the Shanghai is totally empty of clients… and of waitresses or waiters. It's seems totally empty.

Maybe there is someone in the kitchen?

It would be wise and polite to wait at the entrance for one of the staff to welcome me in, or at least ask if someone is here, but I'm too tired for that. It's only now that I'm standing still, that I feel the burning pain in my legs. It seems like just a hot shower in the morning cannot beat months of physical inactivity.

I'm such a mess.

I spot a good booth in the far end, with a nice view outside and I let myself fall on the seat, sighing deeply, both of tiredness and contentment.

Guess I should notify the staff of my presence now.

But, before I can say anything, a door, which seems to connect to the kitchen, opens and a young red-haired woman in a waitress uniform comes in.

Yuuko. That's right, she is also working here. I totally forgot.

Since I'm sitting in a corner of the room and behind her, Yuuko doesn't notice my presence.

She's swiping table after table while carrying a tray that she fills with the plates of the last customers.

I can hear her talking to herself while doing it, but I only understand some bit of it.

"1936...estimated 60 or 70...Vichy régime.... Don't screw that...."

I really should have told her that I'm here.... It's going to be awkward.

"Hey Yuuko..." I said quietly, but It doesn't catch her attention. "Yuuko… Yuuko… Yuuko!" I raise my voice loud enough and finally catch her attention.

She's startled by the sound of my voice and makes a small jump that sends her tray flying. It touches the floor with the distinctive sound of broken glass.

"Hisao! Oh my god what are you doing here? You scared me!" she says while gripping her chest with both hands.

Let's hope that I do not give her a heart attack.

"Well… I'm sorry… I was tired so I sat down on my own." I mutter with my cheeks becoming redder by the second. Damn Hisao! That really was not polite. "I wanted to warn the staff that I-" I try to justify but I'm cut short by Yuuko, still scared but for an entirely different reason.

"I'm really, really sorry! I didn't hear you coming! The welcoming bell is broken since this afternoon with all the commotion! I know I should be here to welcome the customers, but we are so understaffed that I have to clean the dishes and cook in the kitchen, and and and...." While explaining herself she casts her eyes downwards bit by bit, and soon she is looking at her feet and at the pile of broken glass.

She gets on her knees and begins to collect the shards.

"Oh no no no." She says panicking. "I can't break more of it..."

She seems to be at the edge of sobbing. Great Hisao!

I join her on my knees and help her to gather the big piece of glass;

"I'm sorry, Hisao, I shouldn't left a client waiting! And you don't have to help me it's my job after all!"

"Don't worry, it's my fault in the first place."

"Are you sure? I can do it..."

"Don't worry."

We finish picking up the remaining pieces in silence. Yuuko then sweeps the spot and takes care of the plastic bag.

I go back to my place still a little ashamed.

You’re really not a gifted one Hisao, I sigh.

"Welcome to the Shanghai!" screams Yuuko, who's now right beside me, while doing a stiff greeting, her head coming to a stop just one millimeter above the table.

"Can I take your order, sir?"

She still seems quite shaken, better not joke about the fact that, after me startling her before, we are now even.

"Well..." I didn't really think about it. I just wanted a place to sit down. I take a look around the table but don't see a menu. " Do you have..."

When I look at her, I can't bring myself to tell her that there are no menus.

"..a cup of coffee?"

"Of course! I'll be right back, sir! Thanks, sir!" she says while doing multiple bows.

She really is a pack of nerves. Being around her can't be good for my heart.

I close my eyes for what seems to be one second.

"Here your coffee..."

Effectively, the bitter scent of it fills my nostrils and makes me open my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know if I was supposed to wake you up or not..."

"I was sleeping?" It's true that I'm really tired.

"Yes, and since cold coffee is really not good I took the liberty of waking you up."

Better reassure her before she's get nervous. Well, even MORE nervous.

"Yeah, don't worry, that’s really cool of you. I didn't fall asleep on purpose so… It's cool."

We stay in awkward silence for some long seconds, me watching my cup and Yuuko still standing beside me, shifting from one foot to the other.

Maybe I have to pay right now? Or I should say something else?

But, it's finally Yuuko who talks first.

"Is...Is everything alright?" she asks while looking worriedly at me.

"Euh....well..."

What should I say?

I ponder for some seconds. It's not as if I know Yuuko very well - or know her at all - but I really need to blow off some steam… And I don't know when or with whom I could talk otherwise.

"No. Everything not fine" I sigh way too dramatically.

My statement make Yuuko jump, and her face fills with anxiousness.

"Oh no! What happened?"

"Well... I'm broken." I state with disgust. " I'm in a new school for broken people, I lost all of my friends, I can't talk with anyone here, without feeling awkward or insulting them because I don't use the right words. I have the impression that I'm walking on eggshells all the time, dealing with people and with my condition." I sigh deeply. "And I think I failed. I feel lost and alone."

Yuuko seems totally taken aback by my statement, but after some time I can hear her whisper.

"Oh... I was... talking about the coffee..."

Oh.

Seems like even in an awkward moment, I find a way to make it even more awkward.

I slam my head on my table and bury it with my arms, all of my body becoming hot.

"Please, Yuuko, forget I said anything!"

That's why I don't want to talk about it. What I'm saying is already shameful, but now...

Yuuko is the person that I saw the most at Yamaku this week, mostly because I tried to hide in the library to read books everytime I had a chance.

But even then, we don't know each other.

So why would she ask how I'am? Nurse and Mutou do it, but that's their job.

And even if someone asks, it's just a matter of decorum: You ask if everything is okay, and the other one say yes even if it is not.

"Can I sit with you?" Yuuko asks faintly.

In that situation you only have two option: Pity or run away.

Guess she choose the first one.

Yuuko is not waiting for my answer - I wouldn't have known how to respond anyway - and I can hear her sitting down on the other side of the table.

"You...You know..." she mumble.

"You don't have to, Yuuko. Please" I cut her off.

"Don't… worry, they are not other clients, so I can take a break." Her voice is not as filled with confidence as her words in the beginning but becomes more firm when she resumes.

"Life is hard. I mean, it's harder for some people than for others but… it's still hard. For me, it's really stressful. I have to juggle my studies, my two part-time jobs, and I have to sleep, and I don't have much time for my friends and... And I'm not really good at any of that."

I raise my head a tiny bit and look at her above my arms.

She doesn't notice my gaze, she's looking at her hands which meddle with her pink apron.

"And I keep messing up. I forget to respond to my friend for a date of a party, or I forget an exam, or to study, or a client order or I break something, like today, and the store manager has to cut my pay for it even though I really need it, or or..."

She raises her head, and our eyes meet.

"Or I have to ask a student to help me tidy the library, otherwise I would be late for my other job" she says with a tiny smile before lowering her eyes again.

"But even if I fail,” she continues with more confidence, “I apologise and try again, because I have to do all that If I want to continue with my life. It's okay to feel down, but you can't stay down all the time."

Yuuko takes a deep breath and finishes, "I guess… What I want to say is… You have to persevere even if you fail sometimes..."

It seems to take a lot of effort for her to say that, and she's trembling a bit, her hands gripping her thighs.

"You’re not the best at giving motivational speeches."

Wait, I didn't only think that. I said it.

Master of tact, Hisao.

But Yuuko's reaction is unexpected. She's laughing - not a ladylike laugh either but a hearty one.

"Well, it's not often I have to give one. Not many students ask for advice on things like that."

I bet.

"But that’s alright,” she says with a big smile, “I will try again."

"Thanks, Yuuko."

Before she can respond, the door opens and Yuuko hastily gets back on her feet and rushes to meet the new arrivals with a shaky "Welcome to the Shanghai!".

And from what I hear, those seem to be Lilly and Hanako - and they are right next to me now.

"Hello again, Hisao, can we share this booth?" Lilly ask.

"Well.... Sure?"

The place is completely empty, but… I don't see why not. After all, I have to persevere, right?

Hanako gives me a small nod and sits down right at the window, followed by Lilly who retracts her cane and puts it on her lap.

"I hope we are not bothering you, Hisao, but it seems that the view is really perfect here, and Hanako is really excited about the fireworks."

The statement makes Hanako blush and hide when she sees my gaze.

"That's right, I totally forgot about the fireworks," I say to save Hanako from the attention.

"My my, don't say that in front of Shizune. The Yamaku fireworks are the pinnacle and the pride of our festival."

"It was really nice last year," says Yuuko, who's coming back with two cups of tea and a tea-pot, and Hanako nods slightly in approval.

That make me remember that I didn't take a single sip of my coffee. Better fix that… Wait. Can I drink coffee? I should ask Nurse next time. But for now, I shouldn't think about that. And I already paid it.

"You should sit with us and admire it, too, Yuuko"

"Thanks, Lilly, but..." she hesitates while looking around.

"Come on, I add, it's not as if there is anyone else here."

"Alright..."

I move out of the booth to let Yuuko sit right at the window, since she seems more interested by the fireworks, and I’m taller than her.

I sit down next to her, and Yuuko makes some small talk with Lilly - with few contributions from Hanako and me.

Hanako looks eagerly at the sky while I slowly drink my coffee, enjoying the taste.

Soon, we hear the first burst of the fireworks, cutting short the conversation and illuminating the sky.

It's seems quite impressive for just a school festival.

The sparkles have a different effect on us.

Lilly seems a little put off, but I think it's more from the noise than from regret.

Hanako has her face glued to the window, for once not bothering to hide herself, joy painted all other her face.

Right behind her, Yuuko seems also hooked by the spectacle, the sparkles of light illuminating her face, reflecting on her glasses and making her leaf-green eyes shine.

I like green.

I have to persevere.

Table of Contents / Before / Next

[Hanako Fancopter]

Very solid considering you are not a native English speaker! I like your approach to Hisao's internal monologue/thoughts, you did a pretty good job with that. There are lingering grammatical errors but that's a minor issue. I wish you luck with this project!

[Bottech]

Deep breath. Deep Breath.

deep breaths

Fortunately, they are still no one in the streets,

there is still no one

It don't take me much time to spot the ..."Shanghai",

it doesn't

It's seems quite impressive for just a school festival.

it seems

So why would she ask how I'am? Nurse and Mutou do it, but that's their job.

i am

It's too early to form opinion but i'm interested in how story will develop

[ArtLucio]

Very interesting story. I'm looking forward to more.
I am like you! I do not speak English very well, but I love the stories i can read in this forum!
I hope you keep posting more chapters, I loved what I've read so far from your story.

[sloth4]

What I like about this, compared to other older women pseudo-routes... which is basically just Akira, is that there's nothing pathetic about Hisao. He hasn't failed anything, and appears to be spending time as a friend with all the girls. I suspect that's due to basically following the Hanako path in terms of progression, but it's a nice change of pace over all.

Not sure how this will turn out, but I'll keep watching.

[rimvydasm]

Finally a Yuuko Pseudo-route,i like Yuuko a lot,so i was disappointed,there no fan-fics of her.anyway,the story seems interesting so far,so i'll keep following this,good luck with this project and waiting for the next update.

[Hesmiyu]

I came across this while I was thinking about odd pairings (I am trawling the forums to read all fics) and had noticed a lack of Yuuko ones. Keep up the good work.

[Hoitash]

So, first off, congrats on breaking new ground! Your revelation on the Yuuko route is Indigenous American mushroom spirit journey worthy, and I applaud you for it!

Second, I love your super sarcastic rendition of Hisao. He is the Deadpan Snarker we deserve.

I hope you complete this and look forward to seeing how his goes. Also I love what you're doing with Emi, Rin, and Hanako, but that's my own bias leaking through.

[Padjil]

So, first off, congrats on breaking new ground! Your revelation on the Yuuko route is Indigenous American mushroom spirit journey worthy, and I applaud you for it!

Second, I love your super sarcastic rendition of Hisao. He is the Deadpan Snarker we deserve.

I hope you complete this and look forward to seeing how his goes. Also I love what you're doing with Emi, Rin, and Hanako, but that's my own bias leaking through.

Thanks for the comment! I'm happy to break new ground since well...don't have to compare myself to another story that I love ^^ And hum.. yeah Thanks mushroom

I came across this while I was thinking about odd pairings (I am trawling the forums to read all fics) and had noticed a lack of Yuuko ones. Keep up the good work.

Thanks! I also find it weird that nobody tried a Yuuko one.

Finally a Yuuko Pseudo-route,i like Yuuko a lot,so i was disappointed,there no fan-fics of her.anyway,the story seems interesting so far,so i'll keep following this,good luck with this project and waiting for the next update.

Thanks! Hope I can provide you a worthy Yuuko pseudo route!

What I like about this, compared to other older women pseudo-routes... which is basically just Akira, is that there's nothing pathetic about Hisao. He hasn't failed anything, and appears to be spending time as a friend with all the girls. I suspect that's due to basically following the Hanako path in terms of progression, but it's a nice change of pace over all.

Not sure how this will turn out, but I'll keep watching.

Thanks! I also like Hisao to be friends with the other girl because, I always find his circle of friends in the other story to be pretty small. Of course your not always hanging with forty people but his interraction with the other character seems to always be limited.

And for the Hanako path... you will see...or read. Or maybe your dead right.

Very interesting story. I'm looking forward to more.
I am like you! I do not speak English very well, but I love the stories i can read in this forum!
I hope you keep posting more chapters, I loved what I've read so far from your story.

Thanks fellow not native English speaker! I also love the story on this forum and I really like to share mine. Give me a sense of accomplishment to write it in English

It's too early to form opinion but i'm interested in how story will develop

Thanks! Gotta make you follow it!

Very solid considering you are not a native English speaker! I like your approach to Hisao's internal monologue/thoughts, you did a pretty good job with that. There are lingering grammatical errors but that's a minor issue. I wish you luck with this project!

Thanks! I have to thanks the work of Mirror_gsm for the English because I assure you, the incorrected writting need a lot of work! It's good that you like Hisao monologue because I always this impression that they are "too much". So glad that you like it!



Thanks all for your comments!

I read them all when a new one show up, but I wanted to wait until my next release to answer them but... well with my college exam's comming it's a bit thugh to concentrate on writing. But I making progress, and I hope to be able to give the next chapter to Mirror before the end of the month.

My college end in mid-september so the release will be more fluid around this period!

[Mirage_GSM]

Thanks! I have to thanks the work of Mirror_gsm for the English...

It's "Mirage", thank you very much
(You can consider the "GSM" optional.)

[Padjil]

Thanks! I have to thanks the work of Mirror_gsm for the English...

It's "Mirage", thank you very much
(You can consider the "GSM" otional.)

See what I mean?

MIRAGE always here to correct me

Yeah, totally an elaborate trick to show that.....

[Oddball]

The material in it seems interesting enough but I have a hard time really getting into it. It's extremely obvious that you're not a native English speaker and your phrasing often feels still and awkward to me. You might want some help with getting your word choices to flow a little better.