Two Turtledoves (Lilly x Hisao S8 oneshot)

WORDS WORDS WORDS


Post Reply
User avatar
Eurobeatjester
Posts: 837
Joined: Thu Nov 28, 2013 5:59 am
Location: Denial

Two Turtledoves (Lilly x Hisao S8 oneshot)

Post by Eurobeatjester »

Hey everyone! This is the first oneshot I've written, taking a break from Learning To Fly. This is my submission for the Secret Santa writing exchange for Christmas 2017.

I had a lot of fun writing this one! I had a few issues that prevented me from posting this along with the others at Christmas, but here it is at 3,800 words.

I drew brythian as my victim. Here was his prompt:
a story about one of the girls in a relationship with Hisao, and their encounter with Kenji/Iwanako, while Christmas shopping.
I decided to go a different route for this one and challenge myself! I hope you like it brythian, along with everyone else who participated in the Secret Santa exchange and whoever reads it!

Secret Santa 2017
"Two Turtledoves"


“I don’t know why you were worried,” I say. “They’re a lot nicer than you seemed to have prepared yourself for.”

“Oh sure,” Hisao answers, with good natured sarcasm. “I’m sorry. It’s just a little...awkward.”

“Surely, I can’t be the first girl you’ve ever introduced to your parents?” I tease, leaning into him a bit as we walk arm in arm.

“Well, no. But you’re the first one that I’ve introduced since...huh. You know what? I don’t think I could list all the ways. You’re the first actual girlfriend I’ve introduced them to, the first person since I transferred to Yamaku, the first foreign friend of mine I think they’ve met-”

I elbow his ribs. “Half foreign.”

“Right, sorry. But you know what I mean. I just didn’t know how they would react.”

“I admit that I was nervous as well, but after overhearing you talk with them over the phone I felt much less apprehensive about it.”

“I still feel like I need to apologize for how uncomfortable my bed is.”

“Oh please,” I laugh. “It can’t possibly be worse than that couch.”

“I just wasn’t sure what the proper etiquette was, or what.”

“Hisao, dear, we’ve been over this. It’s okay! Really. I know it would have been a bit...unconventional...to get a hotel down here for a variety of reasons. I don’t mind sleeping in your bed for the few days we’re here. Besides...it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been in your bed,” I giggle.

“Great, that’s exactly what my mom needs to hear.”

I enjoy the rise I’m getting out of him enough to push a little further. “I won’t say a word, Hisao. But believe me. She knows.”

“I actively choose to believe she doesn’t and I’m going to keep it that way, thank you very much.”

“Is that why you insisted you sleep on the couch? Or was that your mother’s idea?”

“I brought it up before she had to.”

“Well that’s no fun. It’s colder here than it is at Yamaku. Those blankets might not be enough.”

“Your ‘healthy adolescent sex drive,’ I’m assuming?”

I giggle again. “Don’t worry. I know how nervous you are about how these few days are going to go. But don’t be.”

“You were able to find everything okay, right?”

“Mhmm. After the tour you gave me, I had no problems.”

“That’s good. It took me days to learn the layout of my dorm, much less the school.”

“The hallway leading from your room to the bathroom really isn’t that difficult a landscape to navigate.”

“I guess I was worried.”

“You don’t need to motherhen me,” I say, lowering my voice a bit and drawing it out, a hint of mock exasperation bleeding into my tone. “It’s not the first time I’ve had to figure out the layout of a new place. I pick up things like that very quickly.”

“The split level didn’t give you any trouble?”

“No. If you must know, most houses and buildings have the same three or four basic layouts. All that matters is the small details, like that step. But you showed me where it was. I didn’t even need my cane, the second time I got up last night.”

“I lived there my whole life and I would still stub my toe on the damn thing at least once a month.”

I laugh again. “If it makes you feel any better, I still bite the inside of my lip while chewing about as often.”

With only two days before Christmas, I can feel the electric sense of excitement around us. The air is crisp and clean, with an undercurrent of...cinnamon?

I wrinkle my nose. “Does something smell like cinnamon to you?”

“Oh, there’s a display of scented pine cones by the door.”

I cough quickly to try and clear some of the fragrant miasma out of my sinuses. We’re still making our way through the parking lot, so there must be quite a few of them stacked up to reach this far.

“Not much farther now,” Hisao says. “Watch the curb.”

I smile at what he says, not just because I find it amusing, but because he said it in the first place. It seemed just the other day that he would blunder over himself and feel embarrassed for making some comment or even a simple phrase that would involve sight of some kind, or struggle to say the same thing while avoiding certain words. I take a small amount of pride in the fact that I was able to break him of that habit.

It’s a small step, but it’s progress. And it also shows how close we’ve become the last six months.

I hear a set of doors sliding open, and am hit gently with a breeze as we step through them. All the normal sounds from outside are instantly replaced with a constant buzz of activity. I hear the beeps of registers mixing with the squeaks from the wheels of shopping carts. Rustling bags. Snippets of conversation that waft on the spicy air. And above it all, the soft tone of Christmas carols being pumped through the overhead sound system.

“Goodness, it seems everyone else had the same idea we did today.”

“I guess so. But don’t worry, we’ll be out in the mall soon enough.”

Hisao had mentioned he wanted to take me out and around today to his parents this morning, who were more than a little hesitant about the prospect. I certainly didn’t blame them for their concern, and they seemed to let go of the majority of their misgivings after Hisao and I both assured them that we would be okay. When Hisao suggested we go to the mall, I eagerly agreed. I love getting the sense of different towns and cities when I travel, and experiencing them in a way other people might not be able to.

According to Hisao, the mall is pretty standard, set up with a few anchor stores on either end of it. We entered through one of the department stores, so we have to get through it to get to the mall proper.

“Was that Hanako on the phone earlier?” Hisao asks me as we gingerly make our way through the store.

“Yes,” I answer. “She’s doing well. She said she’s getting together with a few of the other newspaper club members for a get-together tomorrow night.”

“Good,” Hisao answers, audibly relieved.

Hanako had been a point of worry regarding what to do for Christmas, even more so than our own plans. Hisao had been invited back home by his family, and while rather apathetic about it, couldn’t find a real reason to say no except for wanting to stay with Hanako and myself.

My decision was a little easier to make, especially after what happened this last summer at the airport. Akira was heading back to Inverness with her boyfriend for Christmas, and that seemed to satiate our parents to the point they didn’t try too hard to object to me wanting to stay with Hisao and Hanako. When Hisao expressed his parents were inviting him back home and invited me to come along with, I was a bit torn about what to do.

Hanako was the one that suggested Hisao and I go together, much to our mutual surprise. She privately explained to me that she would be fine, and legitimately wanted us to spend the holidays together. It was such a relief to hear that for several reasons; Hanako has definitely come out of her shell more the last few months, and I was worried that we might have been subtly neglecting her as Hisao and I have grown closer. When she insisted over my objection, I almost broke down and cried because of the tremendous concern that had been weighing on me.

We made a compromise, however; Hisao and I would spend Christmas together with his parents, and then the three of us would end up spending two nights in Hokkaido together to finish up winter break.

I’m looking forward to that, but not so much to forget to enjoy and indulge in what’s happening now.

I can hear and smell the subtle differences in each department as we move through the store. Some sections are far busier than others, and as we move into a new one, the faint musty scent of books makes itself known.

“How many people actually stay at Yamaku over winter break?” Hisao asks, shaking me out of my recollection of how we ended up here.

“Not as many as stay over the summer break,” I answer. “If students can only manage to get home for one of the other, most choose Christmas.”

“Mutou asked us casually who was staying for the break. Whoever raised their hand ended up getting a few printed-out pages. I was just wondering what they were.”

“Hanako told me about them. It’s just some information about what’s going to be available on campus and how some of the rules change with the decreased staff. Things like the pool and a lot of the administration offices close down, while places like the cafeteria remain open. They even do a large dinner on Christmas for everyone.”
Last edited by Eurobeatjester on Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:31 pm, edited 5 times in total.
Stuff I'm currently writing: Learning To Fly: A Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route
Two Turtledoves - A Lilly/Hisao Christmas Oneshot
Blank Mage wrote:
Eurobeatjester wrote:I doubt my ability to write convincing lesbian erotica
believe in yourself
User avatar
Eurobeatjester
Posts: 837
Joined: Thu Nov 28, 2013 5:59 am
Location: Denial

Re: Pins And Needles (S8)

Post by Eurobeatjester »

“Wow. That’s a really cool thing.”

“Mhm. Not everyone can make it back, so they take care of the ones who stay. Who else in your class ended up raising their hand?”

“Well, Natsume and Naomi, of course. Let’s see, who else? Suzu, Akio, and Molly. Taro too, I think.”

I catch a faint whiff of disinfectant and baby powder as we move through another section. “How far are we from the mall entrance?”

“Coming up now,” Hisao says.

In another few seconds, I feel the room open up into an even larger space than the one we just left, and every noise seems to have a slight echo or reverb.

“Where to first?” I ask, content to let Hisao take the lead.

----------

“Do you think we have everything we need?” Hisao asks.

“I can’t think of anything else. Thank you for helping to pick out a card,” I say. Hisao read out a few to me after I told him what I was looking for, and after finding one with a heartwarming message with a charming look, I decided on it. Hisao guided the pen to the proper place for me to sign it.

“Was there anything else you wanted to do while we were here?”

I think for a second, then smile. “Can we get some ice cream?”

“I don’t see why not,” he laughs. “There should be something at the food court up ahead.”

I settle against his side, my signal that I’m ready to move on when he is. We move in tandem, with him taking just enough of the lead for me to stay in step with him. It’s another thing the two of us have become quite adept at the last few months.

“Do you or your parents have anything else planned for the night?”

“They mentioned to me they might want to take us out to dinn…er...”

Hisao’s voice trails off, and I immediately sense that something seems...wrong. His hand suddenly goes rigid in my own; it’s not holding mine harder, but instead becoming a solid claw with tendons and muscles wound up tight. The rest of his body follows suit.

I can sense Hisao’s general sense of alarm, but I have no idea what might be causing it, or where it might be coming from. I go just as still as he does, trying to take in whatever I can around me to try and figure out what the cause of his distress is.

I think about whispering his name, to let him know that I’m there, and to let him know that I’m worried. Instead, I gently give his rigored hand a gentle squeeze...and when I feel how cold it is, I actually start to get a bit scared.

“Hisao?”

The voice is faint, but not because of distance. It’s pained, but not devoid of disbelief. Hisao shifts when he hears it, and I tilt my head slightly towards the direction of the speaker.

Hisao takes a labored breath before answering, his reply strained ever so slightly.

“H...hey, Iwanako.”

As soon as I hear that name, and sense Hisao’s reaction to it, I know exactly why he’s behaving the way he is.

Oh...oh.

“Oh my gosh,” I hear her say, her voice and footfalls coming closer. “It really is you.”

“Y...yeah,” Hisao says hesitantly. “How are you?”

I can hear Iwanako drawing in breath, taking a second or two before replying. “Good. I, uh, I’ve been good. You look...well.”

I give Hisao’s hand a very small squeeze. It’s enough to rattle him out of his shock.

“Ah, Iwanako. I’d like you to meet someone. This is Lilly Satou,” he says, partly to introduce me and partly to say something in his desperation. I turn my head slightly in her direction, and bow.

“Pleased to meet you,” I say, trying to be as polite as possible, and not just because of courtesy. It’s always interesting when people meet me for the first time, and this is no exception; the added history only adding to the weight of the situation.

“Iwanako Ogawa,” the shorter girl answers. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

I turn back towards Hisao, waiting for him to answer. Normally, I wouldn’t have a problem assuring someone that they weren’t being a bother, but I have the impression that this isn’t exactly my call to make, given the circumstances.

“Not at all,” Hisao says, his tone still slightly awkward.

“So...um...what are you doing here?”

“We’re just doing some last minute shopping. We came to the mall to get a present for my parents.”

The pause after that statement is brief, but Hisao has told me enough of the past the two of them share to make me realize how heavy it really is. Hisao didn’t introduce me as his girlfriend, but what he just said can leave little doubt. He referred to us as “we,” and here “we” are together in his hometown over Christmas, holding hands in the middle of the store.

I fidget with my cane slightly. To add to all of that, it’s also fairly obvious that I’m from Yamaku.

“O...oh,” I hear her say. If it wasn’t obvious before, it’s certainly obvious now.

“Yeah,” Hisao answers.

“Hey, ‘Nako!”

Someone else is calling from a distance away, and I hear them rapidly approaching.

“There you are,” the voices owner says, a deep masculine baritone. “I was won...Hisao? Is that you?”

“Takumi? Holy hell man, it-OOMPH,” Hisao exclaims, his surprise cut off by a shuffling of clothes and a small grunt as my boyfriend finds himself in a very enthusiastic hug.

“You look well,” he says, when he’s offered a chance to breathe again. “You’re a lot taller since the last time I saw you.”

“I hit a growth spurt after you were in the hospital. Looks like you hit one too. Oh man, this must be the first time you've been back here after you moved, right?”

Hearing someone else lay things out so openly, and in such a contrast to both Hisao and from what he’s told me, Iwanako...it’s a bit jarring. I’ve heard this person all of twenty seconds and I can already tell he’s the kind of person that you can go without seeing for months, and can pick right up where you left off the next time you see each other.

Regardless of what’s going on right now, it’s a much needed relief from the awkward tension of a few minutes ago.

“It is.”

“How long are you in town for?”

“Just through Christmas. School starts for us again in a week, so we’re going to be heading back in a few days.”

At the mention of “we,” I can discern a slight pause in the unflappable chattering. I smile slightly, knowing that he’s probably taking notice of me for the first time, having been so focused on Hisao.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” he splutters out, trying to regain some sense of dignity from how rude he just perceived himself. “Pleased to meet you. I’m Takumi Kawada.”

“Lilly Satou,” I reply with a giggle, partly because I want him to feel relieved, and partly because I can’t help but find his enthusiasm charming. Especially seeing as how he’s now dominating the conversation. I also get the sense he’s not quite sure how to react upon getting a closer look at me.

Iwanako hasn’t said anything since Takumi came up, I’ve noticed.

“What brings you two here? Shopping as well?” I ask, trying to get some conversation going.

It works. Iwanako speaks up. “We were meeting a few other friends here before going out,” she timidly answers.

“Oh?”

“Yeah!” Takumi says, perking up. “Actually, are you two busy later? We’re getting together with Mai and Shin and going to karaoke. You two wanna come with? It was kindof a double date thing but I’m sure there’d be no problem turning it into a triple date. Besides, if you’re only here for a few days, I’m sure they’d love to see you again. And meet you too, Miss Satou,” he finishes.

Still though, I wince a bit, and hope it doesn’t show. Takumi just brought up something fairly painful in his tactless - albeit genuine - enthusiasm. I have at least some idea as to how tough this must be for Hisao. I can only venture a guess as to how it’s affecting Iwanako.

Hisao seems a bit taken aback from the tone in his voice. “Wait, you two?”
Last edited by Eurobeatjester on Sun Dec 31, 2017 2:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Stuff I'm currently writing: Learning To Fly: A Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route
Two Turtledoves - A Lilly/Hisao Christmas Oneshot
Blank Mage wrote:
Eurobeatjester wrote:I doubt my ability to write convincing lesbian erotica
believe in yourself
User avatar
Eurobeatjester
Posts: 837
Joined: Thu Nov 28, 2013 5:59 am
Location: Denial

Re: Pins And Needles (S8)

Post by Eurobeatjester »

“Erm, yeah,” his friend explains, starting to realize he may have overstepped himself just a bit.

“That’s...that’s awesome to hear. Congrats,” Hisao says, and even though there’s some pain there, he legitimately means it. “I mean, I think it was just a matter of time before Mai and Shin got together, but I’m glad you guys are making something work.”

“Thank you,” Iwanako answers, a bit bolder than before. “I...er, we, would really like it if you came tonight. It would be good to catch up.”

I squeeze Hisao’s hand slightly, letting him know that this is entirely up to him. No matter what he chooses to do, I’ll support him fully.

“We would, but my parents are taking the two of us out to dinner tonight, then we’re heading back up to Sendai the day after Christmas.” Hisao answers.

“Aw man, that’s a shame. Maybe next time?” Takumi asks. “You’re coming back after we all graduate in spring, right?”

“Definitely. For a while anyway. I’m not sure for how long, but I will be.”

“I hope you’re able to make it too, Miss Satou.”

“I’d be delighted,” I say, turning my head towards his and nodding.

Suddenly, a thought occurs to me.

“Actually, Miss Ogawa? Before we all get going...can I ask you for a favor?”

“Sure,” Iwanako replies, a bit unsure.

“Can you help direct me to the restroom?”

“Oh, of course. Do you...need help, or…?” she asks, stammering.

“Oh no, nothing quite like that,” I say, laughing. It reminds me so much of Hisao’s reaction the first time we had this similar conversation. “I just need to know where the stall and the sinks are.”

Iwanako seems relieved. “Alright then, I can do that for you.” I feel a light touch on the back of my arm, and let her steer me in the right direction.

I don’t really need to use the restroom, but I wanted to give Hisao the opportunity to converse with his friend without either one of us there to hinder or limit the discussion. I don’t even know if they’ll talk about anything at all - I just wanted to give him a chance.

-----------

A few moments later, we step back out into the bustling thoroughfare of the mall, where I’m instantly assaulted by all the smells and sounds from earlier. The brief respite in the restroom only seems to have amplified them all upon returning to their domain.

“Thank you for the help, I really do appreciate it,” I say, turning slightly towards my new companion.

“I’m sorry. For earlier, I mean. I just wanted you to know that, in case I made anything awkward.”

“Not at all. It was really nice to meet you, Miss Ogawa.”

“Yeah,” she fidgets nervously, a slight tremor in her voice. There’s something else on her mind, but what I can’t say. I say nothing to her, waiting for her to make a decision on if she wants to elaborate or not.

“Hey ‘Nako,” I hear Takumi call out, his conversation with Hisao obviously finished. “Shin just called me. Him and Mai made it down a bit early.”

“Coming!” Iwanako answers, her voice loud. She shuffles around to adjust her shoulder strap, hesitating one more time.

“Is everything alright?” I ask, gently prodding.

“Can...can I ask you for a favor this time?”

“Of course,” I answer, my brow furrowing a bit in confusion. This isn’t exactly the type of thing I would have imagined her asking of me. I don’t know what the favor is, but I do know that I’ll do what I can.

“Please take care of him, okay?”

I can hear how much weight there is behind those words. There’s an incredible amount of mixed emotions in them, but most of all an overwhelming sense of concern for someone she cares for.

I think about everything that’s led to me being the person she’s asking this of. I think about all the times I’ve spent with Hisao, and how he’s become such an integral part of my life by now.

Our first meeting. Our first date. The first time we were together. The incident at the airport, and the recovery after he had another attack and a pacemaker implanted.

And the last trip we took out to the countryside, the fresh breeze whipping around us as we laughed, holding hands…

I smile inwardly. Yes, he needs someone to take care of him...just like I do.

I want us to take care of each other.

Now, and for always.

“I will,” I answer, with a gentle conviction in my voice...as much to myself as to Iwanako.

A pair of small hands squeeze mine.

“Thank you.”

~fin
Stuff I'm currently writing: Learning To Fly: A Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route
Two Turtledoves - A Lilly/Hisao Christmas Oneshot
Blank Mage wrote:
Eurobeatjester wrote:I doubt my ability to write convincing lesbian erotica
believe in yourself
User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 6148
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: Two Turtledoves (S8)

Post by Mirage_GSM »

You know, at "half-foreign" I had somehow set my mind on Molly being the girl for this story - so much so that "healthy adloescent sex-drive" was really jarring...
Hisao and I would spend Christmas together with his parents, and then the three of us would end up spending two nights in Hokkaido together to finish up winter break.
I hope they arrange for proper heating... :roll:

And I was a bit disappointed at the distinct lack of Kenji in the story. After reading the prompt I was kinda curious how you would pull that pairing off :lol:

Very nice story; thanks for writing it!

P.S.:
except for wanting to stay with Hanako and Ime.
Sorry, but I just can't ignore that one from an English teacher to be...
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.
User avatar
brythain
Posts: 3575
Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 8:58 pm
Location: Eastasia
Contact:

Re: Two Turtledoves (S8)

Post by brythain »

I enjoyed this story, neatly dovetailing Yamaku Hisao/Lilly with the four named friends from his earlier life... but where's my Kenji?! :D

Thanks for writing this; it may inspire me to keep writing! (And Mirage's edits are valuable too. :) )
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
User avatar
Eurobeatjester
Posts: 837
Joined: Thu Nov 28, 2013 5:59 am
Location: Denial

Re: Two Turtledoves (S8)

Post by Eurobeatjester »

Mirage_GSM wrote:
P.S.:
except for wanting to stay with Hanako and Ime.
Sorry, but I just can't ignore that one from an English teacher to be...
I could have sworn this isn't the first time we've had this discussion. :lol: But I did look it up, and you're correct that in that context. Thanks! I learned something today :) I'm going back to change it accordingly.
brythain wrote:I enjoyed this story, neatly dovetailing Yamaku Hisao/Lilly with the four named friends from his earlier life... but where's my Kenji?! :D

Thanks for writing this; it may inspire me to keep writing! (And Mirage's edits are valuable too. :) )


You know, when I got this prompt, I took it to mean Iwanako OR Kenji, not the two of them together. :P So I thought the only way this could work is either if they ran into Kenji while shopping near Yamaku, or if they were back in Hisao's town for Christmas and I couldn't understand why Kenji would be there :lol:

I'm glad you like it! I've never written from the perspective of someone blind, but the research on how to do so was fascinating :)
Stuff I'm currently writing: Learning To Fly: A Saki Enomoto Pseudo Route
Two Turtledoves - A Lilly/Hisao Christmas Oneshot
Blank Mage wrote:
Eurobeatjester wrote:I doubt my ability to write convincing lesbian erotica
believe in yourself
User avatar
scratchminus
Posts: 46
Joined: Sat Jan 10, 2015 5:58 pm

Re: Two Turtledoves (Lilly x Hisao S8 oneshot)

Post by scratchminus »

I love this story! This had the perfect amount of cuteness and feeling that I'd expect an encounter like that to actually have. The characters, especially Lilly, felt spot on. I also really liked the inclusion of Takumi, he worked perfectly as a contrasting personality to the rest of them.

Overall great story, Euro! :D
User avatar
Oddball
Posts: 3024
Joined: Wed Feb 29, 2012 2:05 pm

Re: Two Turtledoves (Lilly x Hisao S8 oneshot)

Post by Oddball »

if they were back in Hisao's town for Christmas and I couldn't understand why Kenji would be there
Who can understand why Kenji does anything he does?

The story itself is awesome though. You gave a nice bit of character to Hisao's old buddy and some good polite awkwardness to iwanako.
Not Dead Yet
User avatar
Craftyatom
Posts: 374
Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:38 pm
Location: Washington, USA

Re: Two Turtledoves (Lilly x Hisao S8 oneshot)

Post by Craftyatom »

Okay, I'm a little biased, but I found this really heartwarming and comfy. Just a couple, going out to a mall, hand in hand... I'm a sucker for this kind of stuff, and you wrote it very well.

What I don't think is just my personal preference, however, the incredible job you did with your characterization. Hisao and Lilly were written perfectly, with all these little details that fit just right (although, like Mirage, I actually didn't know who the PoV was until "healthy adolescent sex drive"). You created good characters for them to meet (I count Iwanako since she's not fleshed out much in-game), and who acted as great foils (both to each other and to the protagonists).

All in all, this was a very enjoyable read!
Main route: COM(promise)
One-shots: Crafty's One-Shots (Dark Winter Sky, Dreamy, Path of Least Resistance, Project Blue Curtain, and more!)
Old poetry: Google Drive Collection
User avatar
Zerebos
Posts: 90
Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2017 7:30 pm
Contact:

Re: Two Turtledoves (Lilly x Hisao S8 oneshot)

Post by Zerebos »

This story was really cute Euro. I think you did fairly well with the Lily POV. Although towards the beginning she seemed a little too improper/relaxed for my headcanon. That quickly changed when you used the phrase:
Eurobeatjester wrote:so we have to get through it to get to the mall proper
I don't know why but that felt very Lily-esque for me :lol:

The Iwanako encounter was nicely done, and a good touch with having Lily and Iwanako have a separate encounter/interaction away from Hisao, seems like something Lily would actually do.

Great job as always, buddy!
Post Reply