The past catches up.

[nimblesquirrel]

Totally breaking the running theme here, but I Am Boss and I can do that...

To the guys that are putting choices in your scripts... is that because you are stuck and can't decide for yourself, or that you want to draw in the audience a little, or... what?

Normally I would think it was one person doing their thing, and also I can kinda see a need for it in places like 4chan where you need to be bumped to stay alive, but the last two fanfics I've read here have had these "Please Support My Writing"-esque choices inserted.

Just a little curious here is all.

I honestly can't speak for the other story, as I have nothing to do with it.

I just tried to write with a similar style to KS. I have ideas for both paths (one path in particular), but I already thought the story was pretty long compared to other facfics here when I posted it. As I said in a previous reply, I'd like to carry on with this story. I could have just skipped the choice and kept writing, but it would have been far longer. I thought a choice simply followed the style of KS and allowed me a pause to either keep writing or explore some of the other ideas from my wish list for a bit.

I didn't intend for it be a device for keeping my story thread alive or a "Please support my writing" plea, but I do have to wonder if drawing the audience in is a bad thing?

To be honest, I don't feel like I'm a very good writer, so I was pretty nervous about the feedback I would get when I posted it. I didn't think it would have as many views or posts as it got.

[cpl_crud]

Well we are a little forced into the matter; it would be exceptionally difficult to write all five paths in a linear fashion.

That being said it took a long time and a lot of planning to get the choices to even resemble something sensible.
I don't think a single one of the first drafts of the paths contained a choice.

Even now the choices are planned months in advance and, to be honest, are slightly simplistic in how we handle them.

When I see someone adding a choice in a fan fiction I can't but think of it as a case of writer's block or a cry for attention, and I was wondering if anyone would actually admit to that, or if they have another reasoning.

Oh, a post whilst I was writing this one...

I suppose the "pretty long" thing can go both ways. If people see a wall of text they could well be put off, but then again if you were known to be an alright author then I think people would read it anyway.

I think that if you're looking to improve then perhaps this may not be the way to do it... but then again I may be wrong.
Asking for people to answer your choice will get people focussed only on the last few lines of what you wrote. But, on the other hand, it *does* move more people into commenting, so that could be a good thing... maybe. Most of the time if I read "Lulz please comment so I can bekum bettar!" at the top of a post I tune right out. Same with "(Updated DD/MM/YYYY)".

I'll admit that I don't read this part of the forum with the regularity I used to, so I can't say I'll know what level of feedback people are giving/taking, so maybe I should shut up. I think I just got bored with the generic characterisation that kept on popping up here.

As for the "I have two ideas..." part, well, we all get that. But by focussing on both you end up screwing up both. When in doubt, pick the one you want to write the most and just go nuts. But it seems that every new fanfic here has some open ended feel to it, and that gets a little boring.

I think I am wavering off track here a little.

[nimblesquirrel]

I suppose the "pretty long" thing can go both ways. If people see a wall of text they could well be put off, but then again if you were known to be an alright author then I think people would read it anyway.

I think that if you're looking to improve then perhaps this may not be the way to do it... but then again I may be wrong.

Thanks for the feedback.

The story I'm working on at the moment looks as if it will be quite long (is there a limit to the size of posts?), so I really do hope that people aren't going to be put off by a wall of text (especially being an unknown author).

[ZystraL]

I only speak for myself in this regard, but my fan-fic, I plan on writing into a full fledged storyline. Of course, I might throw a random choice in there to make it seem more-game like, but in the only choice I've given so far, it was more of a "would they like to see more?" sort of thing. In case I got negative feedback and then continuing it would have been silly.
Of course, I never ask people to choose a choice. In fact, I'd rather they didn't so I can write the line I feel is more interesting. Plus, all of my writing is improvised, so I'm sure by going either way I can't really fuck it up more than I would alreay. If I don't feel like adding more and just want to cut that extra part off for the time being. Think of the choices sort of as a divider. Yes, I am admitting so some short writers block there, but more than often, I'll go play some guitar before coming back and finishing it. I don't leave it hanging on a choice if I encounter a block.
However, if my fic does gain popularity and people start making choices, I'll write to those choices. After all, I put them there so I'll have some sort of story and not just a bad end on the wings.
And even then, I usually don't plan on throwing a choice in. My thought plan goes: "Can any more be added whilst keeping to one story?" -> "No" -> "Is it possible to add a split of ideas here?" -> "Yes" -> "Would it make sense?/Can it be easily written into the scenario at hand?" -> "Yes" -> Insert choice after much thought.

I find the choice in the story to be more of a plot-thickening device. One option can lead to one thing, or they both can but with some sort of consequence for one, just like in the games. I think I just like that idea of continuity better. I mean, would you rather one large one-shot fan-fic all the time? Or sometimes a nice chapterbased story? I guess it differs between people, really.

sniped; my thoughts reflect nimble's exactly - sometimes a choice will break up a too-large story.

[A_Gray_Phantom]

I like this Iwanako fan fiction. I've always wondered what it would be like if Iwanako tried to visit Hisao, only to discover him with an armless girlfriend.

I like how you wrote Iwanako. She doesn't come off mean to me, but just plain ignorant. It helps to contrast the whole "Yay I'm going to cripple-banging scohool best summer evarz" impression most have. I like cynicism, and Iwanako represents the old life Hisao used to have. She represents everything he wishes he has now. To quote CCDR, "Hell can have all your favorite people in it, but it'll still be Hell..."

Providing readers a choice is jarring and take them right out of the story. Yes, it is a story that is inspired by a game where you make choices, but there is a certain logical transition between the two. A good story has immersion. The false choice at the end abruptly breaks the fourth wall.

There are certain cues that would suggest that Hisao has been presented with a choice without actually shoving it in the reader's face. Something like, "I pondered at what she said, and chose my next words carefully..." This hints to the audience that, if this were a game, then this is where the choice would be.

That said, I wish to recommend that Hisao tell Iwanako that he is undecided, and would like her to continue visiting him. I love how you wrote her reactions to Hisao's friends and want to read more. I'd especially like to see how she would react to Rin, and how Kenji would react to her

Also, titles are supposed to be capitalized: "The Past Catches Up."

[Snicket]

I vaguely remember a Iwanako fan fic from a while back. Though it wasn't as in dept as this one was. I eagerly await your next submission.