I have no idea what you mean - he was chosen for his English skills, wasn't he?
You do realize that English and Japanese use completely different alphabets and reading skills don't neccessarily overlap...
Oh well, nvm...
New Flames- Chapter 4 (or: more food for more friendship)
-
Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6149
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: New Flames- Chapter 2 (or: The Ceremony)
Last edited by Mirage_GSM on Tue Dec 27, 2016 4:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Re: New Flames- Chapter 2 (or: The Ceremony)
He was chosen for his reading skills.Mirage_GSM wrote:I have no idea what you mean - he was chosen for his English skills, wasn't he?
Oh well, nvm...
Re: New Flames- Chapter 3 (or: Food, food, food)
One more chapter!
====================
Colonel Abrams is shaped like a typical American diner- You can eat at the bar or in the small red booths, the music is all-American and the few customers around look happy with their large meals. Pictures of local celebrities are on the walls.
“Welcome to Colonel Abrams, My name is Jim. How may I help you?” The Waiter does not look like a local. They’ve got an American for this restaurant? He hands us a menu in both English and Japanese, which is a really nice touch.
The meals are named after popular American references- Eisenhower, Texas Ranger, even Michael Jackson
“Do you speak English?”
“Well, as expected of an American.”
“How American do you serve the food?”
“The food around here is 100% American. If it was more American, we would serve you an eagle.”
“A deep fried eagle.” Both Jim and the Cashier smirk.
“I don’t see many people around here that Joke in English. You don’t happen to be an American too?”
“I’m a Japanese, but my mother was raised in California and her father is fully American.”
“Sounds neat. Want to order something? I have to warn you this is not accustomed to Japanese people, but you should be alright already.”
“I want to order something, but I have no idea what. What do you recommend?”
*
Jim is a good dude, and really open man- apparently, he has somehow earned a grant to Miyagi University from an uncle who has world spanning connections, and he laughs with friends about how improbable it is.
As for the meal, Hiroko ate the “Lassie” and I ate “Eisenhour”. What a name for burgers (Jim also added bacon ‘on the house’ for us). We've added a salad, fries and Coca Cola, like a real American diner. For a dessert (which we had the craving for despite everything) we took the Banana Split.
The price, which Hiroko paid in full with her credit card, was not too expensive for a big meal (if not cheap, to say the least). We are now sitting in place, listening to some Country Music, trying to gather the power to wake up. The way I see it, we're here until they close.
“Hiroko?” I like this girl. I think I have truly made a friend.
“Yes?”
“It was a pleasure eating with you.” Her smile is so great. I love it so much. She also paid for everything.
“You’re welcome. So, would the Shanghai be any better?”
“No! I feasted like I never feasted before, and you know how to pick the restaurant just right.”
“Anything else you’d like to say?” What does she want me to say?
“You cooked great!” She giggles.
“Well, yeah. You also brewed nice drinks.”
“I had no idea cups could be this big.” I mean seriously, the MEDIUM drink is a towering cup. Is the large one a bucket?!
“Oh, they are nice. But I really enjoy how you made a friend around here so fast."
"Two, in fact." Both you and Jim.
"Language really connects people, apparently."
“Rare languages. We are the only ones who talk English around. A proper English is rarer than sign language these days, especially in Yamaku.”
“Did you just reminiscence about the good old days?” I got this.
“Back in my days, we had real fun. We would ride across Japan for a master to work, and it was alright. But no, damn kids and their western concepts of equality, women rights, and liberalism. I can’t hate liberals enough.” Using my greatest imitation of a cranky old man, I made her laugh a lot.
“You enjoyed it?”
“You imitate old people so badly that it makes me laugh.”
“Oh yeah? Let’s see you imitate them.” Come on, cocky. Let’s see if YOU can do better.
“Kids and their weird groups. Calling themselves Christians? Pah!” I quit.
“You won.”
“It was never a competition.” Ouch.
“How did you manage to become so skilled?"
“Training. Everybody knows blind people hear better. We’re human bats.”
“Except bats can see.” Jim…
“Who asked you?”
“Sorry, not my place. Just bragging about my soon to be degree in biology.”
“Stay with your customers. Nobody likes you, Jim.” The three of us laugh a bit.
“As you say, sir.”
*
Not long after, Hiroko had enough power to step out of the booth, and I followed her. This is weekend, but it’s not like I like to piggybank on a girl’s wallet, no matter how rich she is- which meant we would just head back.
The way back was feeling better than the way down- even if people look at me, I’m fed and calmed down.
So we’ve talked a bit- nothing too important, though. We talked about school, about how the two of us are not the greatest subjects, and how cool it would be to actually make it to the top 10. By the time we were halfway through the ride, we have also concluded that earphones would be a great idea for the bus.
Eventually, we reached school. Everything had the “weekend touch”, and most people didn’t feel stressed.
“So… Where do you want to learn?”
“Huh?”
“Two people can learn better than one, right?”
“Frankly, I hardly learned with other people.”
“Well, what else you have to do at your weekend here? I mean, you could get to the library, but you said you don’t like reading.”
“Where’s the gym? I keep forgetting...” There is PE, just a rather altered one in order to accommodate people better. I had some trainings at the hospital in order not to trash whatever I was left with after muscle atrophy due to the coma- not that there was much to begin with. However, I just want to evade studying.
“I have no idea myself. How about you use the app? Take your gym bag and go train.” She says with her smile. She looks like she really has no idea.
“What will you do?”
“Don’t mind me; I always find something to do.”
“Like telling jokes?”
“Or learning for Math.”
“Well fuck.” Math. MATH. Math is a class that came from the depths of hell and decided to stay in schools. It looks fine enough when it’s just algebra, but when it turns into a latin lesson I give up. Frankly I’ve given up all hopes of succeeding in this subject, and the plan is to pass it if god wills it.
“I know right? This is literally the worst lesson.”
“So you’re going to suffer alone?”
“Yeah, probably. I mean, not many people would help a beautiful, helpless girl like me, and dummy you can’t help either.” I call bull- you’re not beautiful. Maybe pretty, but certainly not beautiful.
“Want to suffer together?”
“I don’t know… I mean, you wanted to go to the gym, so I don’t want to put a strain on you.”
“Oh look, my plans have been cancelled. How about we learn together?”
“This is what I just offered before!”
“Could we do this?” She feigns a sigh.
“Okay… But only if you tell me something.”
“Something.” Seriously? You laugh so hard from this? Well, I guess it’s funny when you expect it the least.
“Fair enough. We need to learn.”
*
Hiroko’s room is a simplistic room- aside of the bed, school books and everything else that we all get, the room only has a charger, some weird clock and a few dolls. Let me correct it- she also has some books, but that’s all.
“Welcome to my room, I hope you feel comfortable around here.” Looking at everything took me three seconds. The room feels distant, but practical. Pictures are no use for a blind girl, after all. Hiroko places her cane near the bed, in a designated place I feel bad for forgetting. I really need to look for details.
Hiroko opens a book.
“So Isumu, how about the two of us open a book for a change?”
“I agree. Let’s do this… Just read the problems for me, okay? I forgot to take my book from my room and I’m too lazy to take it right now.”
“Why won’t you read it?” It takes her a moment to recognize her mistake.
“Do you see the problem?”
“I see it very clearly.” She says in a pensive tone. It’s clear she’s merely making the tone up. The joke train is going strong.
“Want to begin reading the questions?”
“Alright. So let’s begin with Geometry.”
*
It lasted half an hour, tops. Both of us eventually realized that we just can’t learn for long enough. We just decided to call it a day. We are not used to learning for long enough, so it’s not a surprise that the two of us decided to give up and call it a day.
I couldn't go to the gym in this hour of need; you need two people in order to even consider to go to the gym.
====================
Colonel Abrams is shaped like a typical American diner- You can eat at the bar or in the small red booths, the music is all-American and the few customers around look happy with their large meals. Pictures of local celebrities are on the walls.
“Welcome to Colonel Abrams, My name is Jim. How may I help you?” The Waiter does not look like a local. They’ve got an American for this restaurant? He hands us a menu in both English and Japanese, which is a really nice touch.
The meals are named after popular American references- Eisenhower, Texas Ranger, even Michael Jackson
“Do you speak English?”
“Well, as expected of an American.”
“How American do you serve the food?”
“The food around here is 100% American. If it was more American, we would serve you an eagle.”
“A deep fried eagle.” Both Jim and the Cashier smirk.
“I don’t see many people around here that Joke in English. You don’t happen to be an American too?”
“I’m a Japanese, but my mother was raised in California and her father is fully American.”
“Sounds neat. Want to order something? I have to warn you this is not accustomed to Japanese people, but you should be alright already.”
“I want to order something, but I have no idea what. What do you recommend?”
*
Jim is a good dude, and really open man- apparently, he has somehow earned a grant to Miyagi University from an uncle who has world spanning connections, and he laughs with friends about how improbable it is.
As for the meal, Hiroko ate the “Lassie” and I ate “Eisenhour”. What a name for burgers (Jim also added bacon ‘on the house’ for us). We've added a salad, fries and Coca Cola, like a real American diner. For a dessert (which we had the craving for despite everything) we took the Banana Split.
The price, which Hiroko paid in full with her credit card, was not too expensive for a big meal (if not cheap, to say the least). We are now sitting in place, listening to some Country Music, trying to gather the power to wake up. The way I see it, we're here until they close.
“Hiroko?” I like this girl. I think I have truly made a friend.
“Yes?”
“It was a pleasure eating with you.” Her smile is so great. I love it so much. She also paid for everything.
“You’re welcome. So, would the Shanghai be any better?”
“No! I feasted like I never feasted before, and you know how to pick the restaurant just right.”
“Anything else you’d like to say?” What does she want me to say?
“You cooked great!” She giggles.
“Well, yeah. You also brewed nice drinks.”
“I had no idea cups could be this big.” I mean seriously, the MEDIUM drink is a towering cup. Is the large one a bucket?!
“Oh, they are nice. But I really enjoy how you made a friend around here so fast."
"Two, in fact." Both you and Jim.
"Language really connects people, apparently."
“Rare languages. We are the only ones who talk English around. A proper English is rarer than sign language these days, especially in Yamaku.”
“Did you just reminiscence about the good old days?” I got this.
“Back in my days, we had real fun. We would ride across Japan for a master to work, and it was alright. But no, damn kids and their western concepts of equality, women rights, and liberalism. I can’t hate liberals enough.” Using my greatest imitation of a cranky old man, I made her laugh a lot.
“You enjoyed it?”
“You imitate old people so badly that it makes me laugh.”
“Oh yeah? Let’s see you imitate them.” Come on, cocky. Let’s see if YOU can do better.
“Kids and their weird groups. Calling themselves Christians? Pah!” I quit.
“You won.”
“It was never a competition.” Ouch.
“How did you manage to become so skilled?"
“Training. Everybody knows blind people hear better. We’re human bats.”
“Except bats can see.” Jim…
“Who asked you?”
“Sorry, not my place. Just bragging about my soon to be degree in biology.”
“Stay with your customers. Nobody likes you, Jim.” The three of us laugh a bit.
“As you say, sir.”
*
Not long after, Hiroko had enough power to step out of the booth, and I followed her. This is weekend, but it’s not like I like to piggybank on a girl’s wallet, no matter how rich she is- which meant we would just head back.
The way back was feeling better than the way down- even if people look at me, I’m fed and calmed down.
So we’ve talked a bit- nothing too important, though. We talked about school, about how the two of us are not the greatest subjects, and how cool it would be to actually make it to the top 10. By the time we were halfway through the ride, we have also concluded that earphones would be a great idea for the bus.
Eventually, we reached school. Everything had the “weekend touch”, and most people didn’t feel stressed.
“So… Where do you want to learn?”
“Huh?”
“Two people can learn better than one, right?”
“Frankly, I hardly learned with other people.”
“Well, what else you have to do at your weekend here? I mean, you could get to the library, but you said you don’t like reading.”
“Where’s the gym? I keep forgetting...” There is PE, just a rather altered one in order to accommodate people better. I had some trainings at the hospital in order not to trash whatever I was left with after muscle atrophy due to the coma- not that there was much to begin with. However, I just want to evade studying.
“I have no idea myself. How about you use the app? Take your gym bag and go train.” She says with her smile. She looks like she really has no idea.
“What will you do?”
“Don’t mind me; I always find something to do.”
“Like telling jokes?”
“Or learning for Math.”
“Well fuck.” Math. MATH. Math is a class that came from the depths of hell and decided to stay in schools. It looks fine enough when it’s just algebra, but when it turns into a latin lesson I give up. Frankly I’ve given up all hopes of succeeding in this subject, and the plan is to pass it if god wills it.
“I know right? This is literally the worst lesson.”
“So you’re going to suffer alone?”
“Yeah, probably. I mean, not many people would help a beautiful, helpless girl like me, and dummy you can’t help either.” I call bull- you’re not beautiful. Maybe pretty, but certainly not beautiful.
“Want to suffer together?”
“I don’t know… I mean, you wanted to go to the gym, so I don’t want to put a strain on you.”
“Oh look, my plans have been cancelled. How about we learn together?”
“This is what I just offered before!”
“Could we do this?” She feigns a sigh.
“Okay… But only if you tell me something.”
“Something.” Seriously? You laugh so hard from this? Well, I guess it’s funny when you expect it the least.
“Fair enough. We need to learn.”
*
Hiroko’s room is a simplistic room- aside of the bed, school books and everything else that we all get, the room only has a charger, some weird clock and a few dolls. Let me correct it- she also has some books, but that’s all.
“Welcome to my room, I hope you feel comfortable around here.” Looking at everything took me three seconds. The room feels distant, but practical. Pictures are no use for a blind girl, after all. Hiroko places her cane near the bed, in a designated place I feel bad for forgetting. I really need to look for details.
Hiroko opens a book.
“So Isumu, how about the two of us open a book for a change?”
“I agree. Let’s do this… Just read the problems for me, okay? I forgot to take my book from my room and I’m too lazy to take it right now.”
“Why won’t you read it?” It takes her a moment to recognize her mistake.
“Do you see the problem?”
“I see it very clearly.” She says in a pensive tone. It’s clear she’s merely making the tone up. The joke train is going strong.
“Want to begin reading the questions?”
“Alright. So let’s begin with Geometry.”
*
It lasted half an hour, tops. Both of us eventually realized that we just can’t learn for long enough. We just decided to call it a day. We are not used to learning for long enough, so it’s not a surprise that the two of us decided to give up and call it a day.
I couldn't go to the gym in this hour of need; you need two people in order to even consider to go to the gym.
-
Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6149
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: New Flames- Chapter 2 (or: The Ceremony)
Grammarwise this is better than the previous chapters. You still do the thing with Internal monologue from one character being on the paragraph of another character's lines, though.
Interesting fact: Most Japanese restaurants offer English language menus if you ask them for it.
Interesting fact: Most Japanese restaurants offer English language menus if you ask them for it.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Re: New Flames- Chapter 2 (or: The Ceremony)
The internal monologue is stronger than me.Mirage_GSM wrote:Grammarwise this is better than the previous chapters. You still do the thing with Internal monologue from one character being on the paragraph of another character's lines, though.
Interesting fact: Most Japanese restaurants offer English language menus if you ask them for it.
Also, do you enjoy my story? Because despite the fact that you do read and care enough about my story, I don't know if you REALLY like it or you have other reasons.
-
FISCHERWMT
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 11:06 am
- Location: Michigan and Arizona
Re: New Flames- Chapter 2 (or: The Ceremony)
i find story okay but moving too fast. Will continue reading. It is improving.
-
Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6149
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: New Flames- Chapter 2 (or: The Ceremony)
Well, so far there's not much story to go on. You introduced a few characters but none of them got more than one or two scenes yet.greenhawk wrote:Also, do you enjoy my story? Because despite the fact that you do read and care enough about my story, I don't know if you REALLY like it or you have other reasons.
I do hope that you do have a story you want to tell and that it will be good and that's the reason I'm following your story.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Re: New Flames- Chapter 4 (or: more food for more friendship
Noted, I will consider the current pace of the story and will consider whether or not it's alright.i find story okay but moving too fast. Will continue reading. It is improving.
Do remember I've merely posted an introduction and three (four, with this post) chapters so far, so there should be more story as we follow. However, some characters WILL be a one scene wonder (Most of them won't be, though).Well, so far there's not much story to go on. You introduced a few characters but none of them got more than one or two scenes yet.
I do hope that you do have a story you want to tell and that it will be good and that's the reason I'm following your story.
Chapter 4: Here we go!
==============================
Another morning, and another routine is upcoming- painkillers, shower, apply salve on burns and use sun lotion on top of that. It makes things slimy, but that’s just how it is. I was more hysteric back in the hospital. Boy, I was REALLY pissed off. I still am, of course, but what would anger solve?
After finishing to pull this off (which takes about ten minutes), I wear my clothes- first comes the underwear, then comes the gloves. The constant pain in my hands and loss of fingernails made it clear that without gloves this is going to suck. My hands also write in a wonky font at and turn daily tasks into chores, so the gloves migrate these things a bit. I am also determined to write instead of using a laptop because I don’t want to feel too special. I am happy that my two hands are still fully functioning, though. The fires could shut them down completely, but they are not even slowed down.
Then, there’s the school uniform- being quite the affluent school that caters to many people, I get to wear a modified school shirt which allows me to hide most of the burns from both the sun and the people. The rest of my uniform is the standard one- pants, shoes, socks and a backpack.
By the way, Mr.Jingo is not talking to me when we shower. He probably had a talk with the council after that day. I like this silence- even if I can hear him using his soap, which frankly makes me a bit disturbed. They actually issued a special soap to me here, one that is used for burn victims. I think that by the end of the year I’ll recover as if I spent three years in the “outside” world. It won’t return me my body back, but it will allow me to be more independent.
I also miss playing my old video games- people say there’s no good in them, but they were my small Yamaku when I was young, helping me be more independent about money and friends. The games taught me about how the economy can change, and I had a few “virtual friends” that I try to keep in touch with even today. I still text them occasionally.
Well, it’s breakfast today. Nobody will interrupt me today, because I’m going to eat very well today. I’m going to eat… Not the oatmeal… Not the soy… Not that…
Everything right now is between the levels of ‘bland’ and ‘wouldn’t throw it to the dogs’. I take the “healthy” cereal (now with 33% more aftertaste of cardboard!), a green tea yogurt and a few strawberries. Maybe I can pull something off?
Found you, brown sugar. Just a spoonful into the cereal and you will taste better. I can pull this, trust me.
Hiroko is also here with two cups of tea. Seems like I’m not that only one with a sweet tooth.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning to you too. I had fun learning with you, you know.”
“Us. Learning.”
The two of us had a good laugh for a while. However, I notice that she tries to place the sugar in the cups, which might be troublesome with her lack of eyesight.
“Want me to put the sugar in your cups?”
“Do you want to also stir them? You look like you want to eat with me.”
“Do you want to eat together?”
I owe you a sitting in a restaurant, so let me at least cover this.
“Sure.”
“Then I’ll also stir.”
*
So yeah, the cereal was indeed improved with the sugar. Seems like I found a winning formula. Hiroko eats some of the soy pudding (I don’t like it, okay?) along with her tea. Hiroko eats silently, if slowly, but manages to eat without getting all messy without eyesight.
“So how’s school so far?”
“Boring.”
“That’s not a very nice thing to say.”
“I quote you when I say ‘I want to stop learning’.”
“You can’t prove the context!”
“You know exactly what I’m saying.”
“Sorry, I don’t.” Now you’re outright teasing me.
“Anyways, how’s school for you?”
“I actually enjoy listening at school. It’s just that all the gibberish is cute.”
She pulls out her tongue as a further tease, and it’s… cute. I can’t help but laugh.
“Gibberish is the best language.”
“True.”
I leave her to her own for a while, and I am finishing the yogurt and the cereal. Reminder: Green tea yogurt tastes good.
“Did you finish eating?”
“I still have my strawberries. Want some?”
“Will you drink the other tea?”
“Did you plan this?”
“Maaaaybe?” Yes, you did.
“Then yes, I’ll drink the tea.”
Did she make the tea by herself? I always try to remember that she’s a human before she’s a blind girl, and that my assumptions are wrong. I mean, look around you- students missing limbs are eating naturally, and even if some’s hands are shaking, or burned, or anything else, they eat. Yes, they eat sloppily and with special utensils for easy grabbing, but if compared to what you expected, they are proficient with it.
I drink the tea, enjoying it. It’s not a piece of art, but that will do, considering what I paid for it right now. I was never a big fan of tea, though, and I enjoy hot chocolate and coffee more.
Hiroko is eating the strawberries I put on her plate and she enjoys it. Strawberries are tasty, and they are the tastiest things in this entire meal.
“Now what?”
“Math, of course.”
“I also have math today. Just at the end of it.”
“I feel for you.”
“I’m starting the day with some Biology, which would be rather nice.”
“Do you want to study biology today?”
“Want to bet we won’t survive 30 minutes?”
“I put five hundred yens that we will survive 45.”
“Deal.”
Even assuming I fail, five hundred yens is not that high cost to pay. That should be her incentive for learning more.
And then the bells rang.
*
Today was as boring as I could expect- the highlight of today’s lessons was the cleaning. I helped a classmate carrying the buckets and someone almost slipped on a bucket, hitting the wall instead. That, and the fact that math was marginally easier because what Hiroko and I learned yesterday. It was hard, but I felt as if I had been pulled three steps ahead in a thousand mile march.
Now, I placed five hundred yen in this bet, and I better try and say goodbye to them. If I win this bet, something is not going well for us (although I still earn the money, which IS nice).
*
“Hiroko, it’s me.” I told her from across the door. Her room is rather tidy and enjoyable… Not that mine is any bad, but still.
“Did you get the textbook this time?”
“Yes I did.”
“The money for the bet?”
“You bet I did.”
“Your lucky underpants.”
I start to get used to this humor by this point. In this rate toilet humor will be commonplace by the end of the year.
“Yes.”
“Alright then, I’ll open you the door.”
Hiroko opened the door. She got comfy with her slacks and shirt, as it seems. I got into the room, and she sat on the bed. She also looks a bit pale, but that’s probably makeup removed.
“So how about you? Got the money, the book and the pants?”
“I actually lack the lucky underpants, but I still have the book and the money.”
“So let’s get ready, alright?” I open the phone in order to set a timer. It will beep within 45 minutes.
“I was in page 18 of the textbook. You?”
“Page 19. Let’s help you get the page done and then get a recap.” This seems like a good idea- before we study something new, let’s strengthen the basics.
“Let’s”
*
We stopped seconds before the alarm ticked off. I didn’t tell Hiroko about the alarm, of course- she’d just drag it without actually learning.
“You know you’re lucky?”
“I am, overall.”
I survived a firebomb from blank point and earned a scholarship, and that’s just recently. I am quite the lucky star.
“Well, a bet is a bet, and we did have a nice session.”
“I won only by that much. I’ll forgive you the debt if you’ll invite me for a drink at lunch instead.”
Did I… God, god, god. She actually thinks over this? I could pull this as a joke, but still.
“How about we eat at the roof this time?”
“Isn’t the roof a bit dangerous?”
I am not comfortable with school roofs- once a student in my old school has thrown a small rock from it, and it has hit me. It was not only painful, but has opened my head. You could also fall from it and die, as I heard a student around here accidently did one night. Also, I don’t feel like getting sunburned with the burns.
“The roof is alright. Don’t be such a baby, people are eating there and nobody falls.”
“If you think this is a good idea, we’ll eat on the rooftop.” She almost squees from sheer joy.
“Yay! I actually wanted to get some nice things. So what do you like to eat?”
“Meat. You?”
“Such a typical man. You could do great with my dad. He enjoys eating meat only, too. I like tomatoes, apples, sandwiches and even a little meat, when I feel like it. I wonder how turkey tastes.” Turkey is not a common deal around here.
“The taste is like chicken, but a bit weirder… Maybe a little bit more tender and juicier. Turkey is not the strongest of meats, but it’s a juicy one.”
“I see you enjoyed it.”
“I’ve had a few experiences with it. My grandfather always enjoys a footlong turkey Sandwich in Subway. It’s an American Sandwich company.”
“Say, a foot is about 30cm, right?”
“Yeah.” She raises her eyebrow.
“This is a long sandwich. Now, leave this sacred land at once and meet me on the roof.”
*
Loyal to my promise, I went up to the roof the moment class was over. I applied the sunscreen again and I am wearing a hat, so my skin will endure the rather sunny weather better. Hiroko will soon come.
Today’s a good day. I would like to enjoy a sunbath, but this will have to wait a year before my burns become more resilient to the surroundings. I’ll wait for her in the shadows, where no light shines.
That was so edgy that I’ve just cut myself. Metaphorically, of course. I think that's Hiroko.
She came fast… with bags? How much did she buy?
“Hiroko! Good to see you here!”
“Good to see you didn’t betray your prize. Here, take these bags and we’ll sit.” Hiroko is not a big girl, and I did expect her to not be as strong as I am. I take the bags from her hands and sit with her. The sun is not as scary as the doctors said it would be, and I think I can stay a while under it.
The food includes chicken breasts, peas, rice, a slice of Salmon and two Pepsi branded colas.
“They ran out of Coca Colas.”
“Free food is free food.”
The food is good. Not great, though- The salmon feels a little overdone, and the rice a little raw. I still enjoy it.
“This food is nice. Did you make it?”
“Nah, I bought premade food boxes. In the shop next to town. The cashier was nice enough to help me.” What a nice person.
“I still like it.”
“Thanks. Also, may I ask a question?”
“Shoot.”
“So, your grandfather is an American, but his wife isn’t. How did your grandparents meet?”
“The American ones, right?”
Had it been any other person around, I would try to evade this. However, this is Hiroko. It just normally makes me feel separated from others when somebody asks me something because I’m a quarter American. I don't know why I give it so much thought.
“Yeah.”
“So here’s the deal in a nutshell: Fifty years ago, they met in a bar. My grandmother had a vacation, and she met my grandfather. So they were drunk, and she discovered she was pregnant with my aunt. Times were different, and they ended up marrying in a local church .My grandmother became an American citizen for both him and their daughter. It’s a funny thing, because thirty years later, when my mom came to Japan in order to study abroad, she met my dad. They dated for a while, and eventually they married. This time, my mom became a Japanese citizen.”
“So when are you going on a vacation?” That was funny, I’ll give her that.
“Maybe I’ll break a tradition and marry a local, just to spite everyone. Then we’ll have three children because we can and every one of them will enjoy a happy childhood. I'll settle for two children if I can have a pet.”
“You have ideas for the future? This is cool.”
“I’ve had some time while I was hospitalized. Do you have any?”
“Frankly? I’d rather have one child.”
“Would you settle for two?”
“Only if the elder one was a boy.”
“And if the second one is also a boy?”
“Do you think I’d risk getting a third brat?” She’s not that fond of having sons, huh? Can’t blame you. She opens her cola can.
My dad did not like the fact that I couldn’t do some things that requires fingernails by myself, so he got me a keychain of props that might’ve been useful. So far I managed to avoid using them due to having bottles to buy, but this time I want to do it myself. A small and flat, yet durable, hook should do the trick.
Here we go- Ignore the pain, and you’re done. Overcoming my disability and enjoying a nice drink. A little flat, but no one’s perfect.
I am assuming that Hiroko didn’t notice my burns; she’s blind, and didn’t touch anything that mattered. We shook hands and I helped her once or twice with walking by grabbing her hand for this specific reason, but that’s all.
And I plan for it to stay this way, for now.
Re: New Flames- Chapter 1 (or: Introducing myself)
Here's a few thoughts so far.
"A lot of times your characters will talk"
"And they will talk"
"And you do little to knowing to show us what character is talking or anything going on around them."
While this isn't necessarily wrong, it's dull and can be confusing. Especially when you start adding more than two characters in a scene.
Give it some spice and some description.
" Who is talking?" the main character said.
"Are they doing anything else other than talking?" I asked as I lean against the all and fish though my pockets hoping to find lose change.
"What are they thinking?" I asked, wondering if this was getting my point across.
"Is anything else going on?" somebody else asks as an entire marking band parades past.
This kind of thing just makes your story feel more alive, while the colored text doesn't add anything but distraction from your story.
Or you could have your character call him a Dantai and then have the other guy's rebuttal have the explanation "You're calling me a Proud Member of a Right Wing group and you mean it as an insult?"
"A lot of times your characters will talk"
"And they will talk"
"And you do little to knowing to show us what character is talking or anything going on around them."
While this isn't necessarily wrong, it's dull and can be confusing. Especially when you start adding more than two characters in a scene.
Give it some spice and some description.
" Who is talking?" the main character said.
"Are they doing anything else other than talking?" I asked as I lean against the all and fish though my pockets hoping to find lose change.
"What are they thinking?" I asked, wondering if this was getting my point across.
"Is anything else going on?" somebody else asks as an entire marking band parades past.
This kind of thing just makes your story feel more alive, while the colored text doesn't add anything but distraction from your story.
Avoid author's notes like you owe them money. If it's something you need to explain, explain it in the text or leave it out completely. "You're some right wing weirdo," would have worked better.“You are a Dantai.” (Author note: Uyoku Dantai are a Japanese right wing group)
Or you could have your character call him a Dantai and then have the other guy's rebuttal have the explanation "You're calling me a Proud Member of a Right Wing group and you mean it as an insult?"
Not Dead Yet