I converted the text into rich text, changed the font to Playtime, performed a bunch of extensive find-and-replace functions to convert the character markers into fully-written, color-coded names, and methodically deleted every quotation mark that didn't denote literal dialogue. Oh, and since Microsoft Word was wigging out at the UK-style spellings and the various errors, I went ahead and fixed those as I went along, too. It took less time than I make it sound, but it was a lot less fun than I would have liked. Yes, I am an ludicrously obsessive and particular person, but I just had to have it that way. When one of the devs writes a Katawa Shoujo route, I need it to read like a Katawa Shoujo route, and raw Ren'Py-style scripts are pretty much anathema to me.
EDIT: I've been given permission by Suriko to upload my edited version of the files, in case anyone else would prefer to read the fic that way. They're .docx files, so they will probably look best in Microsoft Word or OpenOffice. You'll need the Playtime With Hot Toddies font, both the normal and 3D versions, for it to look the way it does in my demonstration image. I'm not sure what font it will display as if you don't have them installed—Tahoma, maybe.
The text color is "Automatic," so if you want black-on-white text instead of white-on-black text, just switch the document background color to white and the text will change along with it.
The Word version of the files is a .rar, so you'll have to unzip it, obviously.
So, anyway, as I've mentioned probably way too many times on this forum, I'm a really, really big fan of Suriko's "deuterocanon" characters, so this fic was right up my alley—there are a lot of them in this fic, and pretty much all of them were interesting. Even the characters that played a very minor role, like Junko in Suzu's route, were compelling. But I think what makes this story really work for me is the fact that it's not written from Hisao's perspective—the "I just emerged naked from a cloning vat" nature of Hisao's personality is and always has been the thing I enjoyed least about the VN. It's an extremely enjoyable departure from convention, and I think writing from the perspective of a character with a past and baggage that was actually pivotal to the plot allowed Suriko's writing to shine in a lot of ways that may have been suppressed with Lilly's route.
I'm naturally predisposed to enjoy the Suzu route—enough that Hisao/Tsubasa may now be my Ship of Choice—but I think the narration was superior in Hisao's route, particularly the scenes that took place during Summer Break. The description of the setting was sublime. I felt like I could picture everything perfectly, and the exploration of Miki's past, painful as it was, had something of a soothing quality as well. It was genuinely a pleasure to read about Hisao and Miki traipsing through the wilderness; the setting was gorgeous in my mind and it was interesting to see Hisao slowly adapt to Miki's particular brand of assertiveness. Also, I thought Miki's relationship with her father was really kind of soulful and sweet. I feel kind of bad that they don't get to reconnect in Suzu's route.
I definitely think that Hisao's route kind of peters out as soon as they return to Yamaku, though. On one hand, after reading the other branch it was kind of a relief, retroactively, that Miki and Yukio's weird aggressive friendship didn't implode there, though the implications are kind of unsettling anyway—Yukio is still going to confess to Suzu, probably, and get turned down, and who even knows what'll happen from there? Also, there's the question of when, if ever, Suzu's going to come out to her family or get a girlfriend. Knowing how introverted she is, it just might never happen now.
On the other side, though, I almost think it's a good thing that Yukio becomes so alienated in the Suzu branch, because... while he definitely seems like a complicated guy, he also seems like a very fucked-up, very entitled, very dangerous guy. Like, it's hard not to get the impression that someday he's really going to hurt a girl. He just kind of comes off as a potential abuser, which makes it feel really awkward that he sounds so oracular at the end of the Hisao route. It's weird to see his character fork so dramatically.
The endings to both branches are, I admit, pretty underwhelming—the plot thread of Miki and Suzu being mutually inept at their studies just kind of gets dropped and the question of how they're going to make a life for themselves, especially when the Suzukis hate Miki, is left hanging. Even in Hisao's route, where he decides that at any cost he's going to drag Miki into college with him, there's that question of what the hell is Miki going to do? She hasn't established any meaningful interests by the end. I guess she could become a gym teacher or something.
Ultimately I really liked the "official"(official) characterizations of Suzu and Miki, though. I've always hated how, in the various attempts at pseudo-routes for both characters, they're played out to be pretty much exactly what the reader expects them to be. I feel like the portrayal of both characters in this story subverted my expectations in much the same way as the characters in the VN did. Miki presents herself as laid-back, but she's actually got a lot of pent-up aggression and anger. Suzu seems standoffish, but she's girly, meek, frustrated and lonely. There's a serious, compelling depth to both girls and I wish these iterations of the characters could be explored further.
