Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[BMFJack]

Azumeow, I speak from experience in saying that you gotta break all ties.

I've talked about my story before, but I was in love with a chick for close to 10 years and I finally decided I'd been through enough with her and told her to stop talking to me (which thankfully she listened to)

I can't describe how immeasurable the relief is. It's not instant. It's not even fast... but looking at how I felt in the months before I cut her off and looking at how I've felt over the last few months it's a damn sight better.

It sucks dude, it really does. Love is a crazy thing, but sometimes you have to recognize that your feelings aren't right and let logic steer you away from more heartache; no matter how much your heart wants that ache.

[Charmant]

And so the bullshit piles on again and again.

My ex texted me. The CRAZY one. I told her "bye X". She responded with "bye azumeow "

The smiley face is making me lose my fucking mind. I think she's just trying to fuck with me, but I just....I don't know, guys. She makes me...she just makes me crazy. It's like a drug: I know I shouldn't, but I can't help myself. All it took was a happy birthday text, and I'm losing my grip on things again. I can never understand what this chick wants. She says she just wants to be nice, be friends, wish me a happy birthday, etc. It just makes me crazy.

I'm not even exaggerating, I'm losing it over here. Once I saw that text, I knew nothing good would happen, but I find it far too difficult to stop myself from giving her what she wants.

Cut contact. Sounds like the only option left to you, barring some ridiculous self-induced aversion therapy involving electricity and your nipples. It's not pleasant at first...But it will be later.

[Eurobeatjester]

Block her on facebook and all social media, and block her number from contacting you.

Either she knows what she's doing and is doing it on purpose, or she has no idea of the effect this is having on you.

Honestly...I don't know which is worse.

[YZQ]

Don't assume malice when stupidity is an adequate explanation. At least, not the first time. If she does it again, well.....

[Munchenhausen]

Don't assume malice when stupidity is an adequate explanation. At least, not the first time. If she does it again, well.....

I can't agree more.
I have always believed in second chances. Third chances, on the other hand...

[Oscar Wildecat]

Don't assume malice when stupidity is an adequate explanation. At least, not the first time. If she does it again, well.....

If that's the case, I would follow Ron White's NSFW advice on dating stupid...

[azumeow]

Apparently she got engaged to her new boyfriend that she met in the Army. That she's been dating for like 6-7 months. And that she's "changed."

Didn't respond. Not going to. That's it. I'm fucking done. I'm done. She's just as crazy and stupid as she was back then. I don't know what she wants, but I do know that I don't want it. Fuck this. Fuck it all.

Also a little pissed because my dumbass brother got wasted and got us lost for 3 hours in the city, but jesus Christ, this chick hasn't learned a god damned thing. She's crazy, stupid, or both.

[YZQ]

"F*ck it all! F*ck it all! Can't take this shit any more!
F*ck it all! F*ck it all! Flip that table, screw you all!"

Yes, been on a Frozen high since Fever came out.

[Charmant]

"F*ck it all! F*ck it all! Can't take this shit any more!
F*ck it all! F*ck it all! Flip that table, screw you all!"

Yes, been on a Frozen high since Fever came out.

Okay, maybe you can tell me how an ice wizard manages to get a cold despite having spent her childhood locked up with a miniature snowstorm, trekked out into a massive blizzard and lived in an ice castle with no problems...

[bhtooefr]

Lack of exposure to that particular strain of Rhinovirus?

[YZQ]

Lack of exposure to that particular strain of Rhinovirus?

This. Colds are caused bu viruses more than temperature changes.

[ArmedLiberal]

I take it the HBHC link in OP Edit 4 no longer exists?

Anyway, I relate to Hanako. I know what it's like to be so lonely that playing the tile game is a respite. I did it as a child.

At school, I was bullied, teased, isolated, and harassed. Not just by students, either… by teachers, too. In 7th grade, one of my teachers picked me up by my shirt and pinned me against a wall in a fit of rage. (A lot of stuff happened that year, actually, as you'll see)

At home, I was physically and emotionally abused, to the point of psychological torture (the methods used were, in fact, explicitly banned by the Geneva Conventions, something I later learned in the military).

I could never figure out why people thought I was weird. Yeah, I get it… brain like a steel trap stands out a bit. But there were other kids like that, and they weren't treated horribly by people.

I had 4 serious head traumas before I got to high school, 1 of them was a mild TBI, but the other 3 were (by diagnostic criteria) medium TBIs. I should mention that I'm a Certified Medical Assistant (AAMA), with an AAS in the same, and I'm presently going back to school for my BAS so I can apply to a physician's assistant program at a local medical college.

My godfather died of a rare brain cancer when I was in 7th grade. This cancer was a complication of AIDS (one that is normally checked by the immune system). I was told he was HIV-positive in the summer before 6th grade.

I knew there was always something different about me. Something I could never talk about, because nobody talks about stuff like that. Everyone thought I was a boy, but deep down, I knew otherwise. It's funny, you know? People almost never stop to question their identity where it concerns gender… and frankly, neither did I. It's just that my identity didn't match up with my outward presence. In 7th grade, I started developing breasts (which was diagnosed as gynecomastia because that wasn't "normal")… I actually had A cup boobs in middle school with no kind of medical intervention. I was 5'3" and weighed 95 pounds at the time. I didn't weigh over 100 pounds until high school. By the end of high school, I knew that the cognitive dissonance of people not seeing me for who I really was had been taking its toll. Then I joined the Air Force, which really kicked that dissonance into high gear.

I got out of the Air Force and returned to my small home town of 8,000. I decided I couldn't keep living as I was, so I transitioned. I was fired from my job under questionable circumstances. I was thrown out of the nursing school at which I was attending. I was harassed by the chief of police. I was stalked by persons unknown. After receiving several death threats, I packed what I could into my car and fled.

That was 12 years ago. Thanks to the help of a lot of friends and therapists, I have learned to cope with the world, but I still have a lot of anxiety. I met an amazing woman in 2008; we became friends, and after I got out of a very abusive relationship, she and I became an item in 2011. In 2013, we married—which technically, was not banned by the state as a same-sex marriage because my birth certificate remains unchanged (my state requires surgery to change that last piece of identification, and I don't have a spare 20 grand laying around for that), but even so, that ban was struck down in 2014, so it was inevitable.

So while my path was very different, I very much understand Hanako. In a lot of ways, I feel like she is my archetype.

Anyway, </rant>.

[Steinherz]

I take it the HBHC link in OP Edit 4 no longer exists?

Anyway, I relate to Hanako. I know what it's like to be so lonely that playing the tile game is a respite. I did it as a child.

Long List of Tragedy

Jesus, and here I was thinking I had it bad with near-constant bullying from 5th grade to 10th.
Glad to see you've triumphed over the bullshit in your life.

In other news: My reading comprehension decided to take a dive.
Instead of reading "I was told he was HIV-positive in the summer before 6th grade." I read "I was told I was HIV-positive in the summer before 6th grade."

[ArmedLiberal]

I take it the HBHC link in OP Edit 4 no longer exists?

Anyway, I relate to Hanako. I know what it's like to be so lonely that playing the tile game is a respite. I did it as a child.

Long List of Tragedy

Jesus, and here I was thinking I had it bad with near-constant bullying from 5th grade to 10th.
Glad to see you've triumphed over the bullshit in your life.

In other news: My reading comprehension decided to take a dive.
Instead of reading "I was told he was HIV-positive in the summer before 6th grade." I read "I was told I was HIV-positive in the summer before 6th grade."

There's always someone who's had it worse. I know a guy who has been a quadriplegic since age 9... chatted with him regularly through the late 2000s. You can read about him at nicks crusade dot org.

That said, I appreciate your kind words. Also, LOL on reading comprehension.

[Kutagh]

I take it the HBHC link in OP Edit 4 no longer exists?

The reason for that is two-fold. One is that the domain supplier .co.cc no longer functions (which was a hassle as it happened suddenly...) and then I moved it to a different URL (subdomain of one of my owned domains, now just a subdirectory).
The second issue is that interest in it had always been quite low and died (just over a year ago I officially closed it [in this post]). Adding to that, the off-topic conversation that used to happen back then is not around anymore further reducing the need to dedicate an entire forum to mainly a single (gigantic) topic.

In any case, I'm still reading here. Good luck to your endeavors, ArmedLiberal!

As for myself... well, my last post was about my chosen master's degree track being cancelled. Since then, I decided to find a job and also took up motorcycling lessons. Just today I got my new driving license and tomorrow I'll be test driving some choppers (they just match my character the best...). As for work? In the past four months since I started working, I kept feeling like I really lucked out with such an awesome company. The people are great, it's a diverse culture (both in terms of people and in terms of work) yet a tight-knit group, the work is okay (PHP just ain't the best language... But at least I can enjoy working in Node.JS doing awesome new projects with new frameworks and methodologies I never used before). And the kicker? They're really open to me doing a part-time masters degree when the next academic year starts (which means September).