Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[Zarys]

I skimmed and picked these two bits because they were especially ridiculous.

Protip: Some people calling a guy boring doesn't make it an inherent unchangeable fact, no matter how persistent they are about it. And it is increasingly apparent that you have very little to no clue what the term "objective" (or, by extension, "subjective") means so...Yeah.

@All<Hanako: That story is...Something. Hope venting helps you out.

How it matters if everyone except you find you boring or/and ugly ? (You have never seen someone who is soo socialy retarted he will certainly remains like that forever ?) we lives with a lot of subjectives, yeah "objectively" everyone is a unimportant bunch of carbon...and ? don't means these aren't good reasons to don't be happy. (And said it's "subjective" is certainly not a solution at all, when a beggar thinks he is unhappy because he us living on the street like an animal and without any chance to return to society; do you says it's subjective ?)

you're just a terrible and judgmental person.

For sure I'm terrible (if certainly not in the way you think), but I don't think i'm judgmental since the first person about who I think like that is myself. (Especialy what I have said to LillyKitsune, hence the importance that this is only valabe if she thinks to be like me)

[Zarys]

What do you do when you haves an unresolveable problem with which you can't bear to live anymore ?

[Charmant]

What do you do when you haves an unresolveable problem with which you can't bear to live anymore ?

Define "unresolvable" because chances are it's not unresolvable at all.

[Eurobeatjester]

Change the perspective or alter the circumstances.

I look back on things that were "unresolvable" over the last ten years and simply laugh at them now.

Nothing is insurmountable. But that doesn't mean you bullrush through it or keep trying the same things over and over again.

Too often people get locked into a self depreciating state when logically, they know what they can and should do to improve it, but they don't. The reason is that, regardless of how painful or miserable you are, it's something that you know and are comfortable with.

My life didn't start to improve until I admitted that to myself.

[LilyKitsune]

Change the perspective or alter the circumstances.

I look back on things that were "unresolvable" over the last ten years and simply laugh at them now.

Nothing is insurmountable. But that doesn't mean you bullrush through it or keep trying the same things over and over again.

Too often people get locked into a self depreciating state when logically, they know what they can and should do to improve it, but they don't. The reason is that, regardless of how painful or miserable you are, it's something that you know and are comfortable with.

My life didn't start to improve until I admitted that to myself.

I... really feel my situation is different. My issues sre all physical. In all likelihood, surgery will not help me. I cant do anything about this. And the results would be too awful to bear. It would be completely invalidating as well as dooming me to solitude and misery.

[Elessar]

First, here i am again, dunno if anyone remebers me

Second: I don't know if this is the right thread for my "issue" but for now i'll just treat it like it is and beg for forgiveness if it doesn't belong here..

Third: The actual post

So i'm currently writing with a girl that, as far as i can say, is absolutely amazing.. same taste in music, same humour, doesn't live too far away from me [20km at most] and so on.. we already talked about music and about bands when we landed on the topic of own bands. In theory, jackpot for me,.. i asked her if she maybe wanted to go to a concert my band was giving and she said (roughly translated) "I'll see if i can get around to it, it's not too far away either " and so i asked where she comes from. Now my problem: Im really bad at keeping conversations going and keeping them interesting, thus i have no idea what I could reply other than where i'm from and then either endure a probably really long deadtime in the conversation or just write something so stupid that it kills the conversation immediatly anyways. I'd really like to move around these two scenarios.

As i said, im really bad at this and this probably sounds hilarious to some of you, wich i can easily understand.
I would be really grateful for advice on my situation..... it doesnt have to be "write this exact sentence" though

[brythain]

As i said, im really bad at this and this probably sounds hilarious to some of you, wich i can easily understand.
I would be really grateful for advice on my situation..... it doesnt have to be "write this exact sentence" though

Aww, most of us aren't 'Masters of Romance' anyway! Why not just ask her if she's a coffee drinker or something else, just in case she'd be interested in supper after your gig? Food is always a reasonable topic—what she likes to eat at various meals. And there's getting around—what her favourite mode of transport is, does she cycle, drive, walk... and where she prefers to do that. Eventually, you get round to things like what her favourite seasons and times of day are, what kind of weather she likes... all of that is useful.

[Elessar]

Aww, most of us aren't 'Masters of Romance' anyway! Why not just ask her if she's a coffee drinker or something else, just in case she'd be interested in supper after your gig? Food is always a reasonable topic—what she likes to eat at various meals. And there's getting around—what her favourite mode of transport is, does she cycle, drive, walk... and where she prefers to do that. Eventually, you get round to things like what her favourite seasons and times of day are, what kind of weather she likes... all of that is useful.

Dangit, i hoped to find a bunch of Masters :/

forgot to mention, the gig was on saturday, so that topic is pretty much out now
I dunno, i always think "meh, this is a stupid question" or "who on earth would ask that" and then scrap it. Sometimes i get this "zing" moment where i know exactly what to write... and with sometimes i mean maybe once a month..

And then there's always the "fear" that what i wrote is just wrong or seems off or plain or whatever.. is this normal?

[brythain]

And then there's always the "fear" that what i wrote is just wrong or seems off or plain or whatever.. is this normal?

Yeah, it's quite normal. Heck, I've been married a long while and I still get things wrong. I try not to worry, but there are... moments.

[Elessar]

Yeah, it's quite normal. Heck, I've been married a long while and I still get things wrong. I try not to worry, but there are... moments.

Oh good

Know what, ill just answer the question without any addition, who said, that males have to keep the conversation going all the time?
Also this lets me see if she's really interested in me, right?

[Charmant]

Yeah, it's quite normal. Heck, I've been married a long while and I still get things wrong. I try not to worry, but there are... moments.

Oh good

Know what, ill just answer the question without any addition, who said, that males have to keep the conversation going all the time?
Also this lets me see if she's really interested in me, right?

Personally, I've found the human need to always have conversations going to be a very bizarre and incomprehensible thing. Small talk is hollow nothingness for the most part anyway. That's why I like Rin's festival scene the best.

[azumeow]

Personally, I've found the human need to always have conversations going to be a very bizarre and incomprehensible thing. Small talk is hollow nothingness for the most part anyway. That's why I like Rin's festival scene the best.

Part of it seems to be the desire for a constant reminder that there are other people there around you. The more you can confirm someone's presence, the more comforting it is. A VN I recently got into gets really deep into that idea.

[Charmant]

Personally, I've found the human need to always have conversations going to be a very bizarre and incomprehensible thing. Small talk is hollow nothingness for the most part anyway. That's why I like Rin's festival scene the best.

Part of it seems to be the desire for a constant reminder that there are other people there around you. The more you can confirm someone's presence, the more comforting it is. A VN I recently got into gets really deep into that idea.

It'd be impossible to forget there are other people, I'd think. Chances are they're in your line of sight or at least your peripheral vision. And even if they're not, they're bound to be making some manner of noise even when they're not speaking. People would be better off if they stopped insisting on continuous chatter and just quietly enjoyed each other's company once in a while. Someone not needing the chitchat, just enjoying the fact of your presence, that's a real comfort.

Then again, I empathize with a (albeit fictional) psychopath, so maybe I shouldn't be weighing in on matters of human interaction.

[Elessar]

Personally, I've found the human need to always have conversations going to be a very bizarre and incomprehensible thing. Small talk is hollow nothingness for the most part anyway. That's why I like Rin's festival scene the best.

Thats about the same way i see it, still, we never met, we're just writing, so just doing nothing, well, stays nothing.
If you're on a date with someone and the conversation dies out, i think that is pretty awkward as well... but if you're just hanging out with someone, leaving the word "date" aside, silence can be good aswell..

I just got reminded of another issue i have.. messages that consist of "ah ok " and not more as a response to a response.... it's just, i always think "damn gurl, wth is that supposed to tell me?" and the next question is: Do i just, like, go on asking stuff? Do i wait if there maybe comes more? is there anything else i can do?
It sucks having to deal with this over and over again, it went on like this for 3 years now [ever since i was on my very first date ever] and it doesn't get better. At some point i just don't know what is expected of me now or what my "tasks" are when dating. Some people already told me "uh, well at some point you're going to figure it out by yourself" but i most certainly know that this is not the case..

[Eurobeatjester]

So, a year ago I ended it with the girl I was seeing over distance and some other issues, namely her entirely overbearing mother. She got into another relationship fairly quickly and about two weeks ago the guy dumped her. I'm getting the conversations that she wants to get back together, she misses me, etc.

I do love her still, but I'm trying to explain to her that nothing has changed from a year ago so there's no reason to think something would work now. There's still a huge distance gap, I have no plans to move back to my home state, and her mother is still a constant thorn. As in, completely trying to control every aspect of her life. If she wants a relationship she needs to move away far enough where her mom can't just drop in unannounced.

I tried putting up with it. Really, I did, but after several years of the constant putdowns, talking about me behind my back, and deliberately trying to sabotage our relationship, I just couldn't deal with it anymore. She wasn't willing to stand up to her mother, so why should I?