Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)

[Guest Poster]

Sorry, I'm afraid I don't. I made it specifically for this board and several parts use the forum's specific formatting options.

[Comrade]

I know what i am going to do in the holiday season!

[Mirage_GSM]

The version I got was five word-documents with close to 1.000 pages in Arial10.
And yes, for one particular chapter I had to post it to the forum with the preview function to be able to read it. I don't recommend this version to anyone. You can also read the forum version on a tablet, can't you?

[arnie]

Sorry, I'm afraid I don't. I made it specifically for this board and several parts use the forum's specific formatting options.

Ah. Makes sense. Well, in any case, going to make a start now!

The version I got was five word-documents with close to 1.000 pages in Arial10.
And yes, for one particular chapter I had to post it to the forum with the preview function to be able to read it. I don't recommend this version to anyone. You can also read the forum version on a tablet, can't you?

Of course

[Luminance]

I'm telling you, I'm not a reader. I don't like to read. I'd rather watch something rather than read, and I also just find a lot of books and things generally boring and not worth my time. However, I'm actually looking forward to when I have the time to read this. I just can't get enough of Hanako and Katawa Shoujo in general. Thank you so much for putting so much time and effort into writing this for everyone.

[Coletrain]

Loved the first story, can't wait to read all the new material!

Quick question: is it okay if I turn this story into an eBook format for personal use/share with others who want it on e-readers?

[Guest Poster]

I have no objections to that, although I should mention that I'm using forum formatting code to display stuff like notes, mails and letters and one chapter consists entirely of those. If that's not a problem for you, go right ahead.

[ProfAllister]

...wow.

I must admit, the way you've talked about continuations, I would never have guessed that you'd have a Deluxe Platinum Extended Gold Edition with over 250% more chapters lurking right around the corner, but here we are.

Given the scope and scale, it feels a little inadequate, but I maintain my principle that the mere act of completing a major work deserves a "Well done."

You may recall that I was one of the few commenters who didn't like the original. Unfortunately, I couldn't really substantiate what I didn't like about it, which made the overall comment somewhat unhelpful. As such, I do plan on eventually (re-)reading this, and this time I'll take copious notes (and who knows, it may come off as better the second time around).

However, I know that many people would rather I spend my limited free time on completing my own opus, and my list of KS fics to read includes Tomorrow's Doom, Meantime to Breakdown, Blossom, Developments, After the Dream, Thanatos's Akira Route (and those are only the ones off the top of my head), so we can safely say that "eventually" is measured on a scale somewhere between geological and cosmological.

At this point, though, here's one word of advice: Be sure to know when you're finished. One remaster is most likely all you need. If you're considering adding a bizarre CGI musical number, or Hayden Christensen, or a bizarre CGI musical number featuring Hayden Christensen, you've gone too far.

[BlackWaltzTheThird]

Okay, at this point, I have re-read up to chapter 17 and no further, nor any comments.

*prepares self*

When I read the original post of this fic two years ago, I was blown away. As I recall, someone pointed out that it was "A Hanako bad-end inside a Lilly good-end inside a Hanako good-end", or something to that effect.

*giggles*

That more or less remains true. And, as I also recall, the writing was nothing short of spectacular. Like the concept, that also remains more or less accurate.

*deep breath*

However, on rereading this story, things weren't quite as, shall we say, rose-tinted as my memories were.

*taps chin thoughtfully*

I did say the writing was more or less good, but aside from some minor spelling and grammar niggles that I have ignored, there was one particularly egregious flaw to which I took exception.

*looks expectantly*

You may have guessed what it was by the content of this post. The fucking *actions*. They had me frowning sternly and thinking of proper alternatives at the best of times, and cringing visibly at the worst. It actually put a significant dent into my enjoyment of the story, what with how frequent they were. I do intend to read the new additions, in due time, but for the sake of my sanity I very much hope this trend doesn't persist. I hesitate to think that anyone might ever want to drop reading Sisterhood, myself included. Whenever I do get around to reading it, I will make a separate post addressing the new content. For now, I'll close by saying that, while not the 10/10 I remember, Sisterhood chapters 1-17 remain a solid piece of fanfiction. No more, no less.

*bows and tips sweatervest*

[Guest Poster]

...wow.

I must admit, the way you've talked about continuations, I would never have guessed that you'd have a Deluxe Platinum Extended Gold Edition with over 250% more chapters lurking right around the corner, but here we are.

Unless I made those comments in late July or early August 2012, I was already busy writing up the continuation. I just happen to have a major dislike towards talking talks while I can't walk those walks. Openly stating that I was already working on a continuation would have just created expectations I wasn't sure I could live up to. I didn't reach the point where my "IF" changed to "WHEN" until the end of last May. That may seem insecure, but it really was a marathon.

You may recall that I was one of the few commenters who didn't like the original. Unfortunately, I couldn't really substantiate what I didn't like about it, which made the overall comment somewhat unhelpful. As such, I do plan on eventually (re-)reading this, and this time I'll take copious notes (and who knows, it may come off as better the second time around).

I just re-read the comment you made in the other thread. The issue with the tea ceremony => tea party has been fixed. (as of today, I made a note to change it back when you first said it, but forgot about it at some point. Fortunately there were only four instances of it in the whole document) The parentheses have been removed and the use of asterisks has been severely reduced too. The other things, on the other hand, aren't. Hanako still stutters in the same way as before and I think the dialogue in the continuation is a lot like the dialogue in the original 18 chapters. I'm not even sure if I'd be able to change my writing style. You mentioned you had issues with Hanako's route, weren't fond of Suriko's writing style and Lilly being your least favorite girl. That last one may be an issue, because Lilly (and her family) become more important in the new chapters than they were in the old ones.

However, I know that many people would rather I spend my limited free time on completing my own opus, and my list of KS fics to read includes Tomorrow's Doom, Meantime to Breakdown, Blossom, Developments, After the Dream, Thanatos's Akira Route (and those are only the ones off the top of my head), so we can safely say that "eventually" is measured on a scale somewhere between geological and cosmological.

Heh, I know what it feels like to have a backlog.

At this point, though, here's one word of advice: Be sure to know when you're finished. One remaster is most likely all you need. If you're considering adding a bizarre CGI musical number, or Hayden Christensen, or a bizarre CGI musical number featuring Hayden Christensen, you've gone too far.

While I appreciate the Star Wars reference, I think you're focussing on the "remaster"-thing a bit too much. The original 18 chapters only make up about 17% of the total story. This isn't a simple tweaking of the textures and reposting it in a higher resolution. That said, and as stated in the foreword, I'm finished now. I have no more plans to continue the story, nor do I feel like taking on another project that lasts for two years. The only things I'll be changing are small edits to the existing content to address the occasional piece of feedback.

Okay, at this point, I have re-read up to chapter 17 and no further, nor any comments.

*prepares self*

When I read the original post of this fic two years ago, I was blown away. As I recall, someone pointed out that it was "A Hanako bad-end inside a Lilly good-end inside a Hanako good-end", or something to that effect.

*giggles*

That more or less remains true. And, as I also recall, the writing was nothing short of spectacular. Like the concept, that also remains more or less accurate.

*deep breath*

However, on rereading this story, things weren't quite as, shall we say, rose-tinted as my memories were.

*taps chin thoughtfully*

I did say the writing was more or less good, but aside from some minor spelling and grammar niggles that I have ignored, there was one particularly egregious flaw to which I took exception.

*looks expectantly*

You may have guessed what it was by the content of this post. The fucking *actions*. They had me frowning sternly and thinking of proper alternatives at the best of times, and cringing visibly at the worst. It actually put a significant dent into my enjoyment of the story, what with how frequent they were. I do intend to read the new additions, in due time, but for the sake of my sanity I very much hope this trend doesn't persist. I hesitate to think that anyone might ever want to drop reading Sisterhood, myself included. Whenever I do get around to reading it, I will make a separate post addressing the new content. For now, I'll close by saying that, while not the 10/10 I remember, Sisterhood chapters 1-17 remain a solid piece of fanfiction. No more, no less.

*bows and tips sweatervest*

The stuff in asterisks aren't actions, but sounds. For the most part, in the new chapter, they're stuff like *giggle* or *cough*. I guess I'm not very good at coming up with onomapotoeias or maybe my gut felt that "I feel that *cough* you shouldn't worry about my health." looked better than "I feel that uchuchuch you shouldn't worry about my health." My gut could be wrong though.

[BlackWaltzTheThird]

Whether they're sounds or actions isn't the point. The point is that it's a very very poor way of describing what is going on. I'll go so far as to say incorrect. It has no literary meaning to include text in asterisks other than that we have an association derived from our experiences online. What should be occuring is a prosaic description of the sound or the effect it has, for the most part. Thing like the *tap*s in Chapter 0 are best rendered as a simple Tap., while things like *giggles* should be rendered as something like I giggle, or "Blah blah blah," she says with a giggle, or let it be implied by the way someone acts or speaks. Specific to your example, I would write: "I feel that you shouldn't worry about my health," I say, coughing lightly. or such. To use the asterisks is a very unsophisticated way of writing, regardless of whether they're onomatopeias or not. It's kind of a specific pet peeve of mine.

[Mirage_GSM]

You may have guessed what it was by the content of this post. The fucking *actions*.

Well, rest assured that every single *action* has been pointed out during the editing process, and I think a good number of them have been removed as a consequence.

I guess I'm not very good at coming up with onomapotoeias or maybe my gut felt that "I feel that *cough* you shouldn't worry about my health." looked better than "I feel that uchuchuch you shouldn't worry about my health." My gut could be wrong though.

My gut tells me that:

"I feel that," he is interrupted by a fit of coughing, "you shouldn't worry about my health."

looks even better...
Edit: BW beat me to it...

[Guest Poster]

I've just made some story-wide edits that will hopefully restore BlackWaltz' cracked rose-tinted glasses to rose-tinted glasses with just a few barely noticable scratches.

[PKMN Trainer Red]

Wow, kind of surprised when this showed up in my email, but this is awesome, and thanks for the heads up!
Didn't read this yet, though finding the time for it and actually reading it is gonna take a LONG time, can't wait though!

[bhtooefr]

Holy.

Shit.

I decided to read this rather than do some JavaScript coding.

Many hours later and many tears shed... wow.

I don't even know where to begin commenting on this...

There are some spelling/grammar mistakes throughout, I think I'll hunt those down on a re-read... later. I need to decompress from this, because damn.